


Show Me, Don't Tell Me

by simmerandcry



Series: Show Me, Don't Tell Me [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Close to Canon, Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sexual Assault, Polyamory, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Protective Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Smut lite, canon-divergent-esque, eventual poly - Freeform, steve came back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 303,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24043024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simmerandcry/pseuds/simmerandcry
Summary: The snap. The vanishing. The blip. Whatever the fuck you wanted to call what happened, Avery Felix didn’t ask for it.Of course, no one asked for it. Some evil alien overlord decided on behalf of the universe or something. She couldn’t wrap her brain around it.--You can't help but wonder what happened to everyone else when they reappeared. Avery Felix is one of millions readjusting to a new normal. Between her lackluster job, coping with loss and recovery, she doesn't think twice about her upstairs neighbour. Until one day, when he offers to teach her some self defense moves. Then, well, everything changes.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Show Me, Don't Tell Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049699
Comments: 482
Kudos: 472





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first take at a story in the MCU and I'm nervous! To a point where I had to start this new ghost account. I have a thing for original characters but it'll be a new challenge characterizing Bucky and Steve. So bear with me! I appreciate any feedback.
> 
> As far as timeline goes, this happens about a year after Endgame. The only change to canon is that Steve does in fact return after travelling in time to redeliver the stones to their rightful places in history. And Sam doesn't get the shield just yet. If anything else needs to be explained outside of the story, I'll add it into future notes. Oh and, wether or not you consider it canon, in this story Bucky and Steve are partners. There will be some smut eventually. I'll include all appropriate warnings in the notes. Also, I don't have a beta and I'm too nervous to sit on posting this so I may come back and made edits as required.

The snap. The vanishing. The blip.

Whatever the fuck you wanted to call what happened, Avery Felix didn’t ask for it.

Of course, no one asked for it. Some evil alien overlord decided on behalf of the universe or something. She couldn’t wrap her brain around it. 

It was the strangest sequence of events - something that even over a year later she couldn’t comprehend. One second, she is in the middle of an argument with her boyfriend. Fists balled, water boiling over on the stove, her mouth open to shout. 

Then, her insides felt sparkly. It was a weird feeling she had a hard time articulating - but it was if every molecule in her body decided to float away.

She heard her name being called out. Then darkness.

It felt like five milliseconds passed by and she was back, in the exact same spot, rebuilt. She felt the same - down to the sparkling feeling in her core, that slowly returned to the anger from her fight with Seth.

Only _everything else_ was different. Somehow it was five years later.

She immediately fell to the ground from the shock.

Now, here she was, fourteen months after the _blip_ or whatever the term people were using now - the return, the sequel, part two, the rebuild. Fourteen months after half the population of the planet returned and she was hardly surviving.

Avery pulled herself off of the couch and sighed. It was Friday night. Back in the old days - the BS era, _Before Snap,_ as she liked to call it - Fridays used to be date night. For as long as she remembered with Seth, since the very first week of their relationship, date night was sacred. It was a time for the two of them, _just_ the two of them for some amount of time at least, to get dinner or try to cook together or see a movie or go to an exhibit.

Even if Seth had to schedule her into his life, she knew they always had date night.

Now, Friday night was looking a lot less appealing.

She stalked away from her cognac coloured couch, letting the hunger in her stomach lead her closer to the fridge. She paused in front of her far window, taking a moment to carefully analyze the conditions of her plants. She smiled when she saw a new growth on her fiddle-leaf fig - _ficus lyrata_ \- then quickly pouted. It was a sad reminder that this is what was exciting to her now: new plants. She may not be great at taking care of herself lately, but she was not going to let her green friends perish by her hands. 

Not that she hadn’t always taken an interest in botany. In fact, it had been one of the lines of biochemistry she had excelled at when she was in university. 

She grabbed the spray bottle that was nestled between a few potted plants on the table and let out a soft sigh. She spent every morning going through her plant routine, checking for bugs or worry spots in leaves, hydrating them all appropriately on a schedule. She gave an extra spritz to the plant she had been fondling and smiled to herself again.

“Keep up the good work, Frank,” she said quietly, turning the pot slightly to ensure the best late day spring light hit the leaves. She returned the bottle to it’s spot and glanced around the room. There was greenery throughout her small space and it gave her a very real sense of normalcy, a sense of routine and that this life was normal again.

Normal. She let out a short huff and shook her head, moving towards her kitchen area, using her hands to pull her sweeping grown-out blonde hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. 

Date night. No, just Friday night in. She supposed she owed it to herself to at least attempt to cook herself a real meal.

It was something her therapist recommended. 

‘ _Avery, you experienced an unusual trauma with half of the world. You don’t owe yourself any type of lifestyle right now. But, the first step to pulling yourself out of this depression is trying again. Trying anything to find yourself a new normal.’_

What did Dr. Brightman know, anyway? She didn’t lose five years of her life to a galactic war criminal.

She leaned against the small island, pulling her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. She skimmed through some recipes she had added to her latest Pinterest board (aptly titled _Recipes Any Kitchen Idiot Can Manage_ ) and narrowed her eyes to the small stack of produce on her counter. She had picked up a small package of corn tortillas and she knew she had a few chicken breasts in her freezer. She could probably manage chicken tacos. That seemed reasonable enough.

She moved around and started to collect what she needed. Above the stove was a hanging rack of pans and pots, then a modest spice rack (though she still hadn’t dared cook anything with the small jar of smoked paprika). The counter ran from beside her stove, took a hard corner and the L shape ended with a sink, nestled beside her fridge. 

Her apartment wasn’t perfect by any means.

She was lucky to find a half decent place _After Blip_ (AB). It took only a few weeks after everything and she was grateful her sister had helped her fill out the form on the Stark Foundation website for subsidized housing opportunities - _Project Square One_ . Although, if she had waited just a few months later, she could have snagged a _brand new_ unit in one of their relief apartment buildings in Harlem.

Instead, she got a one bedroom in a refurbished seven storey unit in Brooklyn. 

Avery was grateful she had a home to call her own. Really, she was. She appreciated the subsidized rent, the constant reassurance that she could stay there as long as she wanted, the usually hot water in her shower. But the building was old and her unit had a lot of what her father called _character._ Like crown-molding and narrow door frames. Small closets and textured ceilings. Crystal doorknobs and original hardwood floors.

The Stark Foundation had done some _basic_ renovations to most of the units in the building - the lights were on a voice command, the doors locked electronically and she had air conditioning and new appliances. 

The location wasn’t ideal and even though all the _Square One_ housing opportunities touted having security staff on site, it had quickly proven to be misleading. Security just meant outsourced rotating guards who patrolled _sometimes_. Avery truthfully hadn’t seen anyone in her building doing any sort of patrol work in months. Not that she felt unsafe (she had told her father very blatantly she didn’t need a weapon, although he gifted her a wooden bat when she moved in) - but she knew sometimes there were illicit things going on in the building.

She kept to herself mostly though. She made casual smalltalk with people in the hall but really only had a relationship with an older woman who lived down the hall. Beatrice was in her 70s and when she _blipped_ back, her husband had sold their house and moved to Florida. Bea was kind and Avery felt she was like her live-in grandmother. They often watched _The Price is Right_ on her Fridays off work and she knew if she ever wanted a cup of English Breakfast tea, the kettle would be on in moments.

As soon as everything was laid out on her kitchen island, Avery took a deep breath and nodded. She paused to take off her red plaid shirt, tying it around her waist. She stretched her arms above her head and did her best to ready herself for her cooking conquest.

“You got into medical school, Avery. You can manage one chicken taco recipe. Let’s go.”

* * *

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes had a fairly easy work day, considering. Not that his day to day life had a specific schedule, but he was happy to be heading home on a Friday while the sun was still shining. He had declined Sam’s invite to go for beers, telling both him and Steve he just needed some time to decompress. His day had been filled with enough people, from project debriefs and research meetings. He wanted some time alone. 

The last few years of Bucky’s life had been a whirlwind, to say the least. His former life as a trained HYDRA assassin seemed so long ago now but the memories came forward constantly. Since his reawakening after his clinical brainwashing, he was always learning and retraining his mind. His time spent in Wakanda had been ideal rehabilitation.

Ideally his time there wouldn’t have ended with another _war._

He had enough _war_ under his belt to last a lifetime.

Time, as a concept, was lost on him, too. Decades of his life were lost to HYDRA. More time was lost when he went back into cryo for his own mental safety. Five years gone thanks to Thanos.

Now, his life had a bit of normalcy. In a sense.

Ever after losing Nat and Tony, the Avengers carried on in their absence. In their honour. Steve _retired_ in the only way he knew how, running things from a ground level at the new headquarters in Manhattan. They resided in large underground space, well hidden under the newly constructed Stark Industries block in Midtown. They had also rebuilt their training space outside of the city. The Avengers worked alongside what was left of SHIELD. Fury consulted, Maria Hill showed up to support, too. But between Steve and Sharon, most of the work was run seamlessly from their spaces in New York.

Bucky spent most of his time with Sam. Their unlikely friendship had developed into a partnership. And for the first time in weeks, their schedules were free.

He split his nights between his place in Brooklyn and Steve’s place in Greenwich Village.

Steve was his constant, a stable force when things were unsteady in his mind. After Thanos, it was Steve who vouched for Bucky to the federal government. It was Steve who stood in front of a panel of military personnel and high ranking directors and said Bucky had paid for his actions. It was Steve who vowed to protect him, his mind, when things went dark. 

Slowly but surely, Bucky stopped living in fear of his mind and started just living. 

He and Steve had an understanding, it was never said out loud. But they were companions, partners. A source of comfort and safety. Sam often teased them with the phrase _boyfriend_ but it wasn’t like that. It was more than that. 

It was a connection and familiarity they always had, since their friendship had sparked so long ago. 

Sometimes that meant sharing Steve’s bed or an arm tucked over a shoulder. Sometimes it was dinner together or going to the movies. A kiss on the forehead, a neck rub. It was Steve talking Bucky down from a nightmare, repeating the phrase ‘I’m here, you’re safe, I’m here. I love you, Buck.’

Bucky was so grateful for his best friend. There was a lot of comfort in having someone you could make fun of but who loved you through the good, bad and the ugly. 

There was, at times, a feeling like something else was missing. 

As he crossed over the Brooklyn Bridge, air whipping past him, Bucky felt content. 

Although it was never said _out loud_ or written in any kind of contract, one of the main reasons Pepper had insisted Bucky take up residence in their housing unit past DUMBO was to keep an eye on the place.

Not that most of the world knew who he was. He remained half masked when working with Sam and kept his head down when it came to any press related to the Avengers. His life was quiet. His missions were always for a good reason and while he still wrestled with guilt, years of it, layers, plenty of guilt - he knew he was on the other side of it.

On this particular Friday evening, he used the south staircase of the building. Usually he used the North entrance, but he had borrowed Steve’s motorcycle and locked it in a gated area in the back near the parking lot and his feet took him to the closer side of the building.

He passed by a few people walking through the lobby, keeping his eyes alert. Not that he was looking for anything in particular, but he always tried to be aware of what was going on. He picked up on a conversation a young man was making across the foyer, there was a vague mention of _weed_ as he spoke. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

While marijuana was illegal, he wasn’t going to intervene with something so juvenile. He was tempted to make a quick comment to the kid, maybe remind him drug deals were better made via electronic message and not over phone calls, but he let it go.

He tucked his motorcycle helmet under his arm and started his journey upstairs. He paused on the fifth floor, hearing a repetitive alarm going off somewhere down the hall. He peered through the glass door with the large painted number indicating what level he was on, and for a second, he thought he was seeing a smokey haze far down the hallway.

Bucky opened the door and hurried down the hall, trying to find the source of the smoke. The smell was strong and he stopped when he saw a door propped open.

A robotic voice sounded out, louder as he approached. _‘There is a fire. There is a fire.’_

Unit 509. 

Bucky dropped his helmet and hesitantly pushed the door open as the repetitive noise grew even louder. The hazey grey air was dissipating as he took a step in, quickly scanning the room. 

_One bedroom unit. East facing. Standard reverse set up. No heat or visible flames. One occupant, female, non-distress_

The young woman, presumably the one who lived in the apartment, stared at him with open eyes as he stood at her doorway. She dropped the butter knife in her hand as she looked at him, taking a step back away from her island. 

“Sorry, I thought there was a fire or something.” He said quickly, throwing his hands up to show he was unarmed and, well, not meaning any harm to her. Standard civilian protocol.“Are you okay?”

His voice was loud as he tried to communicate with her over the loud obnoxious sound of her fire detector going off. _‘There is a fire. There is a fire.’_

She nodded her head. She was calm, but apprehensive as he spoke to her. “I’ve emailed the building maintenance people like five times about my fire detector. It’s a bit sensitive.”

Bucky’s eyes scanned the room quickly, locating the small round smoke detector that was blinking and _yelling_ at them.

“There’s no fire,” he called out, as a question or a confirmation he wasn’t sure, to no one in particular as he reached up above her entryway and tried to press the reset button on the white box.

“I tried that already,” Avery called back to him. 

Bucky let out an annoyed sigh and tried again. His determined press of the button caused absolutely nothing to happen. 

_‘There is a fire. There is a fire.’_

He swore under his breath and tried to take off the front panel of the annoying safety precaution. As he grabbed for it, he unintentionally pulled it off the wall entirely. The noise stopped.

“Damnit,” he said to himself. He turned around, clutching the broken smoke detector in his left hand. He still didn’t know his own strength sometimes.

He met the woman’s eyes and gave her an apologetic smirk.

“My hero,” she said, rolling her eyes. Avery swept her gaze over him as he stood across from her. Short messy brown hair, deep blue eyes, stubble that must have only been a few days old. He wore a dark grey Henley, black jeans and what appeared to be military grade combat boots. He looked..weathered. 

“Well, at least the noise stopped,” he responded. “Sorry. I saw the smoke in the hallway and..”

They were suddenly both very aware he had just barged into her apartment. Well, the door had been propped open, at least. 

As the room cleared of any leftover smoke, he surveyed the space again. The space was flush with greenery and mostly tidy, save for some paperwork and a laptop on her small round dining table. 

A few feet from them on the glass stove was a very charred frying pan and a glass dish, similar to a pie plate. On the counter was a half melted food package. Flat. Tortillas. His eyes darted back to the girl, who was still staring at him.

He couldn’t help but scan his eyes over her for a moment, too. On top of her head was a stack of blonde hair wrapped into a bun but the rest of her crown was brunette. Her face was tired, her blue eyes lost behind the dark bags underneath them. Her face was round, friendly, but apprehensive. Her mouth was drawn into a straight line, but small lines around the side of her lips indicated some age, but also a well used smile. Her face seemed sad to him, although he may have been misreading the situation. She had just ruined her own dinner.

She wasn’t tall, really. Maybe the same height as Wanda. She had on a plain tshirt (he could see part of a tattoo inside her right forearm), ripped jeans, a plaid shirt hung tightly around her full hips. There was something about her figure that sent Bucky’s brain back years and years - it reminded him of some of the USSR entertainers with thick strong thighs, rounded hips, pulled in waists. 

He shook his head slightly and met her eyes. “I’ll contact the maintenance team and have them come and replace this.”

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Good luck. My water pressure has been shot for weeks and they won’t even reply to my messages anymore.”

He could sense she felt defeated by the whole thing. For a second, he wondered why this young woman with sad blue eyes was eating alone on a Friday night. He wanted to ask her more, maybe find out her name, but he struggled to bring the words to his mouth. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to smile.

“I’ll make sure they come by this weekend and fix it. Tomorrow, even.” His words sounded like a promise. 

“Well, let’s hope there’s no real fire in the next few days then.” 

He liked how she smirked.

Bucky let out a laugh at her commentary and for a moment wished he could see her smile, really smile. 

He watched as she grabbed a cracker from the open box in front of her then dipped it into the jar of peanut butter she steadied with her left hand. 

“What _was_ for dinner?” Bucky asked her, shifting his weight as he stood between the island and the door. She hadn’t kicked him out and while her body language wasn’t especially inviting, her cautious stare had disappeared. 

Avery laughed and finished swallowing her gourmet cracker before responding. “Plan A was blackened chicken tacos.” She watched as he opened his mouth to make a comment. “Please, don’t. I know how ironic this situation is. How I managed to screw that up so badly is beyond me. Actually, no. It’s par for the course.”

Suddenly, another noise started. They both turned their heads as the glass dish on top of her stove started to hiss. Her eyes flew open when she realized she must have left the front element on when she was chaotically moving things around in the smoke. She had seen this happen before to one of her mother's casserole dishes. 

She took a step towards the stove as Bucky called out. “No, just leave it, it’s might - 

A loud popping noise sounded off as the glass dish exploded. Shards of glass flew outwards. 

Avery felt him grab her shoulders and swiftly pull her away from the stove, passing by her to put himself between her and the appliance. She swore loudly as something had hit her exposed cheek. 

As Bucky stepped carefully through the shards on the floor to turn off the element, she brought a hand up to her cheek. She was bleeding. She could tell it wasn’t deep, maybe just a bad scratch from the hot glass. She tried not to panic. 

_Tried not to._

He turned back towards her, watching as her chest heaved with shallow breaths. 

“Hey, you’re okay,” he said as he took a few steps to close in the space between them. 

As he carefully grabbed her hand to move it away from her cheek, for the first time Avery noticed he was still wearing black gloves on his hands.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at the cut. It was small, not deep. He knew the correct procedure was to clean it. “Do you have a first aid kit or…

She nodded, letting out a few slow breaths. She motioned her head towards the bathroom, opposite the kitchen, and he followed her in. She opened the cabinet and pulled out a small green canvas bag. 

For a moment, Bucky could have sworn it was a government issued army satchel. Small, designed for shaving kits and personal items. 

She turned, closing the cabinet. “You don’t have to -

He waved a hand to her, pointing to the toilet. “Sit. Breathe.”

She did as he said, offering a small, grateful smile in return. 

_Finally, a smile._

He unzipped the pouch and pulled out a few things, opening up the small bottle of rubbing alcohol and dabbing some of it on a few squares of toilet paper. 

“This might hurt,” he warned, as he crouched down to her level. 

“I know.” She squeezed her eyes shut as he reached out to wipe the cut on her cheek. “Fuck.”

Bucky stifled a smile as he heard her curse. It was still something he wasn’t used to in this century - hearing women swear so freely. He liked it. 

She opened her eyes a few seconds later and found herself staring directly at him. She swallowed hard and her eyes looked down. 

He stood up again and returned to the kit, pulling out a bandage. 

“Do you think it needs a bandage?” She asked him, standing up. He shuffled to the side and let her look in the mirror. 

“Maybe for 24 hours to keep it clean and unexposed,” he replied with a nod. 

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tore open the packaging. 

Bucky started to laugh.

“They were on sale, okay?”

He carefully took the colourful _Captain America_ Band-Aid out of its paper packaging. He reached one hand up and took a gentle hold of her chin, turning her head so he could look at the cut. She held her breath. A few seconds later, she could feel the adhesive against her skin. 

Bucky still couldn’t believe that his scrawny best friend’s face was printed on bandages for kids. And adults, apparently. He couldn’t wait to make fun of Steve about it. 

“Thank you,” Avery said as they exited her bathroom. “For the first aid help, not for breaking my smoke detector.”

“I guess that leaves me neutral,” he responded with a half smile. He glanced down at the floor, where the glass was still scattered. “Do you need help cleaning up?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve stolen enough of your time.” She waved her hand, sighing as she looked down at the floor. 

“Will you be home tomorrow?”

She scrunched her face in confusion as she looked back at him. 

“I’m going to get a hold of maintenance to come by and replace that.” He pointed to the discarded remains of the plastic smoke detector on her counter. 

Oh right. Yes. That made sense. 

“I’ll be here in the afternoon.” 

Bucky nodded, making a mental note. “Enjoy your dinner.” He smirked as she rolled her eyes. “Maybe avoid the stove for a few days.”

Before she could think of a witty response, he was walking out the door, pulling it shut behind him. 

Avery leaned into the kitchen island and sighed, realizing she didn’t even get his name. 


	2. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery Felix is one of millions readjusting to a new normal. Between her lackluster job, coping with loss and recovery, she doesn't think twice about her upstairs neighbour. Until one day, when he offers to teach her some self defense moves. Then, well, everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, like many others, this quarantine life has given me extra time to write so I felt I could share the next chapter. Thank you to everyone who read chapter one - I appreciate every view, subscription, kudos and comment! I always write because there is a story I want to tell and I love to have readers who are along for the ride, as well.
> 
> It's still makes me nervous to write in the MCU but I'm doing my best here. It's been fun to research as I plan out the plot.
> 
> So, this chapter gives you some more backstory about Avery and a glimpse into how Bucky perceives his life in this century. As noted in the tags, this is a slow burn so there will be a gradual lead up as we learn about this post-blip life for these characters. But next chapter, we'll dive in even more and see Steve, Sam and Sharon thrown into the mix.
> 
> Also I've been listening to the album Rally Cry by The Arkells quite a bit while writing this. I recommend it! And Hayley William's new album Petals for Armour. Both are influencing me as I craft this story.
> 
> Thank you again for reading!!

“Do I want to know how you got that scratch on your face?”

Avery let out a breath and smirked at her brother across the table. She brought her hand up cautiously and ran it over her left cheek, feeling a few spots of leftover residue from the bandage.

There was no way she was showing up for brunch with _Sergeant_ Louis ‘Nash’ Felix with a Captain America Band-Aid on her face. She wasn’t sure why but even now, after all these years and everything their family had gone through, she was desperate for her brother’s positive approval. 

She pointed her fork towards him with a shrug. “Did you know that leaving glass dishes on a hot element can make them shatter?” 

“Good lord, Avery.” She watched as his head fell back with a laugh, his broad shoulders pushing into the booth. He met her eyes with a soft smile, looking for reassurance that she was okay. She just smiled and gave her head a small nod, brushing it off. “So, how’s work?”

Avery stuck her fork into one of the syrupy strawberries on her plate. She popped it into her mouth, stalling as she searched for an answer to give. 

She smiled at her brother as he sipped his coffee across the booth from her. _Before Snap_ this never would have happened. When her brother had been stationed at Fort Garrison when she first moved to the city, he didn’t make any effort to see her. Now, he reached out every few weeks. 

He smiled back at her. It didn’t feel as forced or awkward as it usually did. 

“It’s okay. I’m still only there four days a week but the pay is decent enough.”

“And three day weekends must be nice.”

Avery nodded at his optimism. “I’m not sure I want to work as an analyst for a construction company forever.” Analyst. What a joke title. It was glorified reporting and data entry. “Not that I’m ungrateful. I’ll always appreciate Luke’s cousin putting in a good word for me.”

Nash just narrowed his eyes at her. “Have you reconsidered applying to Columbia again?”

She chewed on her lip as she thought about what to say. 

She loved her brother, she really did. But she knew he was playing his normal role: problem solver. 

“It’s not that easy, Nash.”

“I mean, at least look into it. I heard there’s been a lot of scholarship opportunities for..people playing catch up.”

Playing catch up. That was a nice way to describe it. Of course, there had been no rhyme or reason to who disappeared. Science couldn’t make sense of it. Statistics revealed no sequence or pattern, no targets or justification for it. The fact that Avery had been the only one in her immediate family to vanish was just bad luck.

A waitress paused at their table, filling their empty coffee mugs. Nash smiled at her and thanked her with a nod. 

Avery watched as he grabbed the last piece of toast from his plate and somehow managed to devour it in two bites. 

“Enough about me,” she said with a tilt of her head. “How’s life at the base? Where are you off to next?”

“I’m going to Texas for a few months, actually. Classified training opportunity. But you’ll never guess who’s joining me.”

Avery didn’t remember most of her brother's army friends, aside from one of his old basic training friends Luke. It didn’t help that when she met them they were usually all wearing their training uniforms and they all kind of blended together. She just shrugged, “Who?” 

“Remember Charlie Porter?”

Avery’s eyes grew wide. “Is that a joke?”

“C’mon. You went on one bad date with the guy years ago. Nearly ten years ago, even.”

“Please don’t forget I lost five years in there, Nash,” she said quietly, picking at the remains of her pancakes. 

“I know, Ave. Listen, all I’m saying is Porter has been through a ton of shit overseas and I’m happy he’s back and we get to work together again. He was like a brother to me and Jer.”

She smiled then felt a pang in her heart. 

Avery was a middle child and it always irritated her to have annoying older brothers. Twins. Which meant twice as much teasing, fighting and frustration. Jeremy and Nash were vastly different for twins - outside of their charming smiles, football player frames and dark hair, their personalities were worlds apart. But, despite that, they both enlisted when they turned 18, just like Louis Felix senior, their dad.

Jeremy in the Air Force, Nash in the Army.

They lost Jeremy a few years before the vanishing. He had been on active duty in Afghanistan when his plane went down. 

It left their whole family heartbroken. Nash, especially. Their little sister Lora was only in tenth grade when it happened.

They didn’t talk about Jeremy much anymore. But there were moments, just like this one, where all Avery could do was wonder how she would be dealing with this facing _both_ her protective older brothers. Nash was abrasive and honest, Jer had been softer and more understanding. They butted heads a lot but at the end of the day, they had been best friends.

Avery missed him. 

She missed a lot of things about her old life. 

He was right, though - when they were in high school, her brothers and Charlie were more like triplets. That didn’t stop her from holding onto seething anger for him, still. She hoped to just never see the guy again. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat. 

She wasn’t sure why his words were coming out so intensely that she felt guilt. She knew her brother had seen a lot of suffering and reuniting with an old friend was good for him. But that didn’t mean she had to like it. 

She shook her head of the onslaught of memories of her _one bad date_ with her brother’s best friend. Charlie _fucking_ Porter.

“How long are you in Texas for?”

“I think I’ll be back for the July 4th weekend.”

“So you’ll be home for dad’s birthday?”

“If the training stays on schedule, yeah.”

“And you’re cleared for Lora’s wedding?”

“Yes, Ave. Take a breath.”

Nash glanced down at his watch then motioned for the waitress. 

“It’s on us today, sweetie,” she said with a bright smile, “Thank you for your service.”

Avery smiled at the kind woman and let out a sigh. This wasn’t the first time her handsome brother in his military greens was given a free meal. It happened a lot, especially near the base. 

Nash left a generous tip on the table and placed his hand over his sister’s shoulder as they headed out of the diner. 

“Walk me to the station?”

It was a silly thing to ask out loud. There was no doubt her brother would ensure she gets back to her subway stop safely, even before noon on a sunny day. Sometimes it felt like he was making up for lost time, like losing her once was enough and it was all he could do to make sure she was okay. 

“Of course, Avery Ray.” 

It was only a few blocks but he kept his arm over her shoulder as they walked. It was nice to have family close by - something they both took for granted before. Their dad was still in Boston and their little sister Lora, who worked as a nurse, had just moved back to Massachusetts with her fiancée. 

“I saw Seth on my run the other day,” Nash started his sentence cautiously. “He said he’d called you a few times but you haven’t responded.”

Avery went stiff under his arm. “Was he running with a stroller?”

Nash rolled his eyes. “You can’t be mad at the guy forever, Avery. He had to move on.”

“Listen, I’m glad he found comfort in my best friend after I disappeared. I’m so happy they got married and had a baby. But please understand just how fucked up it was for me to suddenly find them enjoying a happy family meal in _our_ apartment. I’m allowed to be mad.”

“Everything was beyond his control. And hers.”

“I know you really liked Seth, Nash. But I’m not ready to deal with that.”

“It’s been hard for everyone to readjust. Trust me. But you owe it to yourself to let go of that anger. It’s going to drive you crazy.”

“You sound like my therapist. Do you guys compare notes or something?”

“Hey,” Nash stopped her as they reached the stairs down to the subway station. “Remember, I’m always on your team, Avery.” He wrapped her into a hug. Another strange new thing he was trying - hugs. 

She collapsed into him for a moment. The embrace felt...nice. 

“I’ll consider calling Seth, okay? Baby steps.”

“That’s all I can ask for from my most stubborn kid sister.” Nash pulled away, not before planting a kiss on the top of her head. “I ship out in about two weeks so maybe we can get a drink next weekend before I go?”

Avery nodded her head and smiled as he watched her go down the stairs.

* * *

Being alive in the 21st century meant adjusting to so many new things for Bucky. 

Everything in this time felt so busy. That was the easiest way to sum it up. He had only a few foggy memories left of his normal life, his earlier life, pre-war. Pre-metal arm, pre-Hydra. 

He often found a desire to seek solace, quiet. Especially when he was trying to decompress after a mission.

It was Bruce who suggested a yoga class. 

At first, it was a laughable idea. But one day, on a calm Saturday morning with a bit of urging from Steve, he went to a small drop-in class at a studio in Brooklyn. 

Everything felt a bit clunky, even if it was a beginners class. But, he enjoyed the mental break. 

So he went back. And now, he was a regular at Josie’s 9AM vinyasa class. There were about half a dozen of them who showed up week to week - Bucky did his best to stick to a schedule but last minute ‘work trips’ often got in the way. 

He remained on his mat for a few minutes after class, continuing his deep breathing. 

A hand clamped onto his shoulder. “You’re going to have to teach me how to handstand like you do, son.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at the comment. He turned his head and looked up at the older gentleman standing beside him. “I told you, it’s just practice and core strength, Bill.” 

The years of acrobatic endurance training helped, too. 

“See you next week.” The grey haired man gave Bucky a wave as he headed out of the small studio.

Bucky returned a smile to him but remained centered as he sat on the floor. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was grateful for moments like this - where he could feel peace in his new life. Yes, sure, his job was unconventional. He didn’t call himself a superhero or anything silly like that. He was a peace keeper, someone who helped in a crisis. In these inbetween days, he imagined a life where things went normally for him.

Where perhaps he survived the war. And so did Steve. Super soldier serum or not. They came out on the other side, American heroes, returning to their families. They would have gotten civilian jobs afterwards - Steve doing something with his brain, maybe working at a bank. Bucky would have found a factory job.

This life he was currently in was different. Like nothing he pictured for himself. But he was alive, mainly in sound mind and body, and he was safe.

Sometimes that was all he needed to keep going. Other times, it felt like something _else_ was missing.

“Water?” Bucky turned his head to the side as his eyes opened, smiling at the teacher of the class. His friend, he could say.

“Thanks Josie.” He extended his hand and took the bottle from her as she sat across from him.

“So, any big Saturday plans?” 

Bucky let out a short breath as he looked towards her. This was their usual _after class_ routine. Josie would strike up a conversation and almost always invite Bucky out on some sort of date. Or non-date. He wasn’t sure. But he always appreciated the gesture.

In fact, there was even a time where he didn’t mind the idea of a date with her. Josie was cute - her spiral black hair sitting soft upon her head, alluring brown eyes, winning smile. She was limber, friendly and especially kind. He remembered his first few classes where he felt so out of his element - Josie was patient and playful as he got his bearings.

“Probably just the classic movie channel and my slippers,” Bucky replied to her with a quiet laugh.

“You really are an old soul, aren’t you,” Josie replied. She hesitated for a moment as she looked at him. “If you change your mind, some friends and I are going to check out this live band downtown at the Bowery. You should come.”

Bucky thanked her for the invite and said he would consider it. The idea of venturing downtown to a crowded bar with strangers didn’t sit very well with him. 

Spring seemed to have finally arrived in the city and it made all the difference to Bucky’s day to day demeanor. It was also a sudden reminder to both him and Steve that his birthday was approaching. He didn’t care much for his birthday - it was weird to celebrate being 107. It really fucked with his mind if he thought about it too much. 

He was born over 100 years ago and felt like he still had so much life to live.

That was also something stopping any further exploration of friendship or anything else - how does he explain his past, his history, his age, his cybernetic _arm_ to a stranger?

As he walked back to his apartment building in the warm spring air, he paused at a small corner market. He smiled at the older woman explaining the best produce deals and somehow wound up with an entire bag of mangoes instead of just a few peaches like he wanted. At least his fruit options were better in this century. 

The building was buzzing with people coming and going as Bucky returned. He quietly hurried to the staircase and began his ascent to the top floor. He paused outside the fifth floor, taking a curious look down the hall. 

The maintenance person he called that morning promised he would go fix the broken smoke detector in 509 before the end of the day. Bucky made a mental note to follow up as he continued to the seventh floor. 

Just as he started down the hallway, he felt his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket. 

“Hey you,” he said with a smile as he answered. 

“How was yoga?” Steve’s voice sounded through the phone. “Did you finally say yes to that date?”

Bucky rolled his eyes at the comment, cradling the phone under his ear as he keyed in the code to his door. 

“You know I didn’t,” he replied as he walked in. “And I don’t think it was a date, anyway.”

“Buck, you know I don’t care. We’ve talked about this.”

Bucky sighed. “It’s not about that. I just..”

“There’s no harm in just making a new friend, either.”

It was no secret to Steve that Bucky missed a different kind of intimacy. They weren’t exclusive to each other but they also weren’t just together out of convenience. There was always an understanding that if they were to _break up_ , or if either of them found someone else, they would be okay. There would be no hard feelings or pain, hopefully. 

Ideally, Bucky would always have Steve. He didn’t _not want_ Steve. 

He just missed something else. 

“I know, Steve, really. But for right now, you’re all I need.”

There was a pause before he got a response. As if Steve wanted to push on the matter. 

“Sharon invited us over for dinner tonight.”

Bucky smirked as he dropped down onto his couch. “Oh yeah? Did _we_ already say yes?”

He heard Steve chuckling. “Of course. I know you wanted some time to yourself but you and Sam were gone all week. She’s missed you both, apparently.”

“Do you ever consider maybe I need a break from Wilson?”

“You and I both know that’s not true. And he promised me a story about your last night in Belize, anyway.”

Now Bucky was laughing, too. “Stevie, don’t believe a word out of his mouth. I won that bet fair and square.”

* * *

For Avery, _After Blip_ life was getting better slowly.

It took days for her to stop crying after she reappeared. Mainly because everyone around her was crying, too.

She cried because her apartment, _her home_ , she shared with the love of her life, now belonged to Seth and her childhood best friend Crystal. And their newborn baby.

She cried because life as she knew it was changed completely and she had _no control_ over it.

She cried in her brother’s arms when he showed up outside the apartment with tears in his eyes, just to see her _alive_ again. She cried as he held her so tightly.

On the drive to Boston to see her dad and sister, she cried when Nash told her their mom had gotten sick, very sick, a few years ago. She cried in mourning - for her mother, for her old life, for her lost sense of self.

She cried less, now.

But there were times when the sadness engulfed her in a swift motion, like a wave in the ocean crashing down on her heart. She had been keeping most of those feelings at bay, lately.

Walking back from the subway station, she plotted out the rest of her day. A trip to the grocery store was in order, she thought about visiting the botanical gardens. She had to do some laundry. A friend of hers from work invited her over for a games night. 

She had options.

Back in her apartment, Avery decided the first thing she needed to do was care for her army of greenery. She pushed her hair back from her face, falling down her right shoulder. In front of the window in her living room is where most of her plants live - tucked in the corner, the beast, her peace lily - _spathiphyllum wallisii_ \- was thriving. That was where it started for her - when she was moving in, whoever had lived in the unit before her had left it there, leaves dying in dry soil.

She was determined to help it live again. It was a challenge, something she could focus on when she was at home alone with her thoughts.

The plant had become a stupid analogy for her own life. 

Her one charity case plant escalated from there and now, she had over a dozen potted houseplants scoured around her apartment.

In the midst of trimming some of the leaves off another plant, an overgrown little heart-leaf foliage - _philodendron hederaceum oxycardium_ \- her phone started to ring. It was a video call from her sister.

She rolled her eyes but still smiled. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence - she usually ended up talking to Lora within a day or two of seeing Nash. It was their own weird communication cycle.

Avery propped her phone up on the coffee table as she answered, leaning her back against the couch.

“Hey Lora,” she started as her sister’s smiling face appeared on the screen. It was strange, still. She wasn’t used to seeing her 24 year old sister. She still remembered an older version of her, barely out of high school, blazing through her nursing program.

“Ave, hey!” There was a pause on the video as Lora’s face moved over. “Allie is here with me, too.”

Avery waved at her camera. 

That was also strange. Her sister was now a few months out from her wedding. Of course, there was no real timeline to follow in life, but Avery always assumed she’d be walking down the aisle before her sister. 

“So, we were working on the seating chart for August and I wanted to run something by you. Wait, speaking of, I still have you down for a plus one. Do you have a name yet?”

Avery let out a breath and tried not to scrunch up her face in annoyance. “I don’t. But I’ll have a date, even if it’s just a friend.”

“Okay, okay.” 

It was nice to see her sister excited about this. She and Allie had met in nursing school and they were so good together. Lora was very type A, she liked to figure out everything and have a plan. Allie was her opposite in a lot of ways - laid back, low maintenance, supportive. Avery loved seeing her sister so happy and she was excited to have a new sister-in-law, too.

“Now, the seating chart. I was going to seat Seth and Crystal with Uncle Henry but-

“Wait, what?” Avery grabbed her phone to focus on what her sister had said. “Why were they invited to your wedding?”

“C’mon Avery, I’ve known Crystal my whole life. We got a lot closer after you.. Well, you know.”

Avery squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Suddenly, a wave of sadness she had been keeping at bay seemed to hit her like a brick wall. 

If she hadn’t disappeared for five years, she would have been planning her own nuptials to Seth, not worrying about being single at her baby sister’s wedding. 

That stupid fucking _snap_.

“Listen, Lo, I’m going to have to call you back.”

It was childish - hanging up without saying goodbye. But Avery was angry. And sad.

She was supposed to be the one getting married and starting the next stage of her life. She was supposed to be starting her residency to be a doctor. She wasn’t supposed to be a glorified office administrator living in an old one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn _alone_.

Even though it had been days, or even weeks since she had last felt this sadness wash over her, it was like welcoming back an old friend. She dragged her feet towards her bedroom and flopped down onto her bed and cried and cried and cried.

* * *

“Yes, I’m just leaving. I’ll be there in half an hour,” Bucky pulled his apartment door closed and headed down the hallway, ending his quick call with Steve.

He had a quiet day at home. He sat on his balcony and finished off an old mystery novel, first. He spent a lot of his free time reading. There were a lot of books to catch up on over the years. Afterwards, he did laundry, went over his paperwork for the week ahead, and made himself lunch.

The moments of solitude were welcome.

He tucked his motorcycle helmet under his arm and ran a hand through his hair as he headed down a few flights of stairs. He stopped at the fifth floor and walked towards 509.

He knocked twice and waited, glancing down at his watch to check the time.

He leaned in towards the door slightly, listening for movement inside. He could hear her shuffling from the far side of the room, feet dragging across the floor.

The door opened, slowly. “Hi?” 

Something happened when Bucky looked at her, standing in front of him apprehensively. Her eyes looked especially sad - bloodshot and swollen from crying. Her hair was a mess on top of her head. She was nervously tangling her hands in the end of the sweatshirt she was wearing - it was worn, oversized, clearly a clothing piece that was for comfort. It was grey, with what he could swear was a faded US Airforce logo on the top left near her chest.

He felt an unusual sense of sympathy for her. Like he wanted to make sure she was okay.

Her eyebrows raised up as he stared at her.

Oh, right.

“I just wanted to make sure the maintenance guy came by today. To replace the smoke detector.”

Avery blinked a few times as he spoke, raising an eyebrow, surprised at his statement. How had she lived in this building for over a year and never encountered this guy before? And now, twice in 24 hours he was at her door. She didn’t actually anticipate him following up. The gesture was surprisingly kind.

Bucky dismissed her lack of response and continued. “I talked to some guy on the phone this morning, he said his name was Rolf and he would come by before 5.”

Avery couldn’t help but let the corner of her lips turn up into a laugh. “Rolf? Were you talking to a man or a Muppet?”

Bucky tilted his head. “No, it was a person. What’s a Muppet?”

She was surprised he didn’t pick on her joke. “You don’t know The Muppets? Kermit the Frog? Rowlf the dog?” Her eyes went wide. “Fozzie Bear?”

he pursed his lips together to hold back a smile, shaking his head. “I don’t know any of the words you just said.” 

For all he knew, she was speaking another language. He really had no idea what she was talking about. He was still playing catch up on a lot of pop culture.

“Well, to circle back,” her smile quickly faded into a frown. “No maintenance person came by. But, like I said before, they’ve been ignoring me about other things for weeks. So, I might just have to replace it myself.”

He held up his hand to stop her. “No, no, don’t do that. This was my fault anyway. I’ll call them again.”

She just smiled and nodded her head. “Thanks.” She reached to shut the door but he remained standing in the door frame. “Is there something else?”

He narrowed his eyes for a second, then tried to soften his features. “Are you okay? I mean, how’s your cheek?”

Avery brought her hand up and grazed it over the scratch, then just shrugged. “Uhm, yeah. I’m fine. Thanks.” She paused, like she wanted to say something else. She looked up and met his eyes. 

There was something about his eyes.

“I don’t know what unit you’re in,” she said with a half smile, “But if you hear me shouting ‘ _There is a fire’_ over and over again, you owe it to me to come to my rescue, okay?”

Bucky smirked at her playfulness. It wasn’t hard to see she was trying to deflect from her obvious sad mood. “Okay, it’s the least I can do.”

Her smile faded again as she shut the door, politely waving at him as she did.

Bucky sighed. He wished he had asked for her name. He stared at her door for a brief moment longer then headed down the hallway back to the stairwell. He checked his phone for the time again and made a mental note to ask Sam just what the hell a _Muppet_ was.


	3. Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at this rate, I guess I'm updating twice a week? Pandemic timelines are so weird, people.
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who read, reviewed, kudos'd, commented, subscribed, visited, favourited! This is my first story crossposted between FFN and AO3 and I appreciate all of you across the board. Thank you for reading and caring about where this story may go.
> 
> I'm not much for 'faceclaims' but I want to point out I picture William Simon (who you are about to briefly meet) as Sam Page. Handsome devil.
> 
> Anyway, here is chapter three. Things are about to get a lot more interesting for Avery's life. Thanks again for reading and as always, I appreciate any feedback. It may not seem like much, but a review or favourite or kudos can really make a writer's day or week even! Wishing you all the best these days.
> 
> Also...I had to cut myself off at the end. But these chapters might be getting a bit longer, if anyone has an issue lol

Usually, Avery didn’t need an afternoon coffee. She tried not to be stimulant dependent and limited herself to one fully caffeinated beverage on her way to work and another cup at lunch. But Wednesday afternoon, she was desperate for a pick-me-up.

She squeezed her eyes and leaned back in her swivel chair, letting out a dramatic sigh. She heard her cubicle neighbour, Heidi, laughing.

“What is it this time? The incident reports or the inventory counts?”

Avery ran a hand through her hair and swept it over to the side as she opened her eyes again. She looked across the small divider to her right and caught a smirk from her coworker. 

“Inventory counts. I don’t know why these are still so archaic,” Avery said as she picked up a file folder off her desks. “I mean, we do 3D building analysis but we have to rely on monthly paper reports for inventory? It’s ridiculous.”

“You’re telling me, girl,” Heidi responded, rolling her eyes. “These are putting me to sleep.” She held up her own stack of files. Solidarity. At least they were in this afternoon slump together.

Avery and Heidi started at Simonarc Construction at the same time a year ago. They had both been hired under the same _Rebuild NY_ grant. It was a fancy term for ‘If you hire these vanished people, the state will give you a tax break’. 

Really, it was her brother’s friend’s cousin who expedited her application and guaranteed Avery her job. Even if it was only four days a week, it was enough pay to cover her expenses.

It was nice to have someone else in the same boat, though - Heidi was funny and incredibly _cool_ . If they didn’t work together and have the _blip_ in common, Avery wasn’t sure they would be friends. But, it was comforting to have someone on her side at work.

Heidi had a sleeve of tattoos on her right arm, had silver grey hair and loved _loud_ music. She had a tongue that most of their coworkers didn’t appreciate - which is why both girls had wound up tucked in the back cubicle area of the third floor, by themselves. Aside from their _pain-in-the-ass_ boss Trevor, not a lot of the rest of the office staff bothered them.

Which is why, when Avery was standing up to head to kitchenette down the hall, they were both surprised to see a suit approaching them.

Most of the office staff was project managers and their dress code was fairly casual. It was just the senior leadership team that wore suits day to day. Avery paused where she was standing as she realized it was William Simon himself walking towards them. She quickly slipped her feet from her desk slippers to her heels and smoothed out her floral blouse.

William Simon was the son of Emerson Simon, one of the company president’s. She couldn’t fathom why he would be on their floor, let alone back in the cubicle wasteland. Avery swallowed hard when he leaned over the front wall of their cubicles.

“Which one of you is Avery Felix?”

The thing about William Simon...he was _incredibly handsome_. There was a rumour that he did male modelling throughout his time in university and somewhere online, if someone were to look hard enough, his Calvin Klein campaign still existed. Sandy blonde hair, sparkling hazel eyes, filled out a suit juuuuust right..

“Are you Avery?”

Avery nodded her head quickly, shaking the intrusive thoughts and meeting his eyes. His face was expressionless.

“I am, yes,” she said, swallowing hard. “What can I do for you Mr. Simon?”

“Trevor said you have a good attention to detail?”

Avery opened her mouth to reply but couldn’t find a response. In all her time working for this company, Trevor had never once said a positive thing about how she worked. He nitpicked, criticized and threw folders down on her desk. But, she wasn’t about to argue that with the Director of Sales for the company.

“Uh, sure, yes.” She nodded, running her palms down her jeans. 

“My assistant is off sick today and I need someone to take notes at a site visit. Are you available?”

She knew she _had_ to be available. His sentence inflected like a question but she couldn’t say no to him. She just nodded.

“Good. Do you have steel toe boots?” She watched as he glanced down to her feet.

“I don’t but-

“You can take mine,” Heidi jumped in from a few feet away, kicking a pair of boots from under her desk over to Avery. _Of course Heidi had an extra pair of beautiful steel toe Doc Martens on hand._

“Great. Meet me at the front door in fifteen minutes. I’ll bring you a vest and hardhat.”

And as quickly as he appeared, William turned on his heel and left.

Avery slowly turned towards Heidi, eyes wide. She let out an excited squeal. “Uhm, what just happened?”

“Maybe you should start cursing your workload out loud more often, Felix,” Heidi smirked at her. “Give me those reports. I’ll finish them off for you.”

Avery handed the folder across their desks and smiled at her friend. “Thank you.”

“But please report back to me on what music that delectable man listens to in his car. Because I’m guessing it's something especially lame and white, like Mumford & Sons.”

Okay, so she didn’t get her afternoon coffee. But, a trip out of the office was a nice break.

* * *

Things had been surprisingly quiet for the last few days for the Avengers team. It was still unusual carrying on that namesake, considering the only original team member still working with them was Clint. 

Sam and Bucky had been spending most of their time doing research for an ongoing case. There had been rumours for the last few months of illegal weapons trading with ties to New York City, Montreal, Seattle and a few cities in Europe. All they could do was watch from a distance until one of their patterns held any weight. Aside from that, and helping Peter with a few challenges, the slow streak at work was welcome.

Thursday night, Bucky and Steve were heading back to Bucky’s place in Brooklyn. They had unintentionally developed a silly mid-week tradition of grabbing a pizza and watching bad reality TV. Lately, they were hooked on Survivor. Although Steve continuously commented on how ridiculous it was, they couldn’t help but theorize and shout at the screen when their preferred teams prevailed.

Television was nonsensical. But it was a silly indulgence for them both.

Their footsteps echoed through the stairwell as they made their way to the top floor.

“Sam is really excited about it,” Steve was in the middle of explaining the plans they had made for Bucky’s upcoming birthday that Saturday. “He said there are tons of pinball machines for you to waste your time on.”

Bucky let out a quiet laugh. He didn’t care much for his birthday, really. But, he had taken an interest in the concept of arcades. Sam had been going on and on about this bar that had vintage video game machines but Bucky preferred pinball. In fact, whenever he was at the training center outside of the city, he spent all his spare time in the lounge sitting in front of the _Iron Man_ pinball machine.

“A cold beer and a burger and a pinball machine sounds good enough for me,” Bucky replied, a half smile on his face. “And good company.” He squeezed Steve’s arm as they turned on the staircase. 

A few seconds after they passed the fifth floor, a door flew open below them.

“Hey….buddy!” 

Steve and Bucky both shifted on the staircase and turned to see where the noise was coming from. On the platform below them stood the messy haired blonde girl from 509, pointing at Bucky with an annoyed look on her face.

Steve looked from the girl over to Bucky, confused.

Bucky had a hard time containing a smile as he looked at her. There was something about the irritated look on her face that made her look sort of..cute. 

“Is there a fire?”

A frustrated groan escaped her lips next, accompanied by an eye roll. She clearly didn’t appreciate his joke. “I got a letter from the building maintenance department saying I have to pay a fine for breaking my smoke detector.”

Bucky’s shoulders sank as he took in her words. He had followed up with Rolf or whatever the guy’s name was on Monday morning and he had been pretty irritable. He had assured Bucky he’d go replace the device that day and he figured that was the end of it.

Clearly that wasn’t the case.

“You’re kidding,” Bucky finally replied to her, as she stood with her arms crossed. He headed back down the stairs and followed her as she huffed down the hallway. Steve followed behind him, still carrying the pizza box, utterly confused about what was going on.

Avery had been having a perfectly good day. Sure, she ended up working a bit later than she wanted - that’s what happens when you’re suddenly helping fill in for an assistant and trying to keep up with your own workload. And yes, when she stopped to get fresh flowers on her way home they didn’t have the peonies she wanted. But, that was all fine.

What _wasn’t_ fine was opening the door to her apartment and stepping on an official looking letter that had been shoved underneath it. 

“He didn’t even _replace_ it, by the way,” Avery continued on her rant as the two men followed her into the apartment. She didn’t even clue in to the fact that her mystery man who thought he was helping her had a friend alongside him. 

Steve swept his eyes over the apartment as he followed Bucky inside. It was similar to Bucky’s unit on the top floor, but condensed. A one bedroom place versus his two. It was flush with greenery - there were plants across the room, including a pile of fresh flowers laying still wrapped on her kitchen island. He watched as she shoved a piece of paper, presumably the letter she was ranting about, in his face.

“Okay, first. You can ignore this.” Bucky scanned his eyes across the letter and handed it back to her. “He’s probably just mad because of our phone call.”

“Well, great. You’re forgetting it’s my name on the rental agreement, buddy.”

She felt like an idiot calling him _buddy_ again, but she didn’t know his damn name.

Bucky stifled a laugh. 

“Do you think this is funny?” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Do you have $215 to cover that fine? Because I don’t.”

“Sorry. I just..trying to use the word buddy in a threatening tone.. It’s not working.” He felt bad for teasing her but he was kind of enjoying it. He shook his head quickly and held up his hand to stop her from saying anything else. “Listen, I’ll go down to the storage room in the basement and get you a new one and replace it right now.” He looked to gauge her reaction, as if to ask _is that good enough?_

“Fine.” She let out a huff. “Thank you.”

“This won’t take long, I’ll be right back,” Bucky said to Steve as he darted out the door. Steve opened his mouth to reply but Bucky was disappearing down the stairwell again.

Avery was suddenly very aware she was left standing with yet another stranger in her apartment. It was immediately clear he was feeling just as awkward as she did. 

Although, for some reason, there was a familiarity to him. Avery felt like she knew him or recognized him from somewhere but she couldn’t place his face. The bottom half was covered in a trimmed beard, a mixture of brown and dark blonde tones. The hair on his head was lighter, softer. His eyes were curious and a remarkable blue. The button up plaid he was wearing was form fitting, especially over his arms. He stood in a way that commanded the room, even if it was just in the doorway of her apartment and didn’t take away the fact he was holding a large pizza box. But, in his stance and the way he held himself, he portrayed a certain energy. Admittedly, it reminded her of Nash.

“You can put that down, if you’d like,” Avery commented, motioning her head to the small, round dining table behind her. 

Steve gave her a small smile and nod, taking the few steps into the room and placing down the pizza box. He could probably just go upstairs and wait in Bucky’s kitchen instead but he was curious about whatever was going on with this girl and Bucky. He hasn’t seen such a playful look in Bucky’s eyes in a long time. 

“I’m Steve, by the way,” he said with a smile, taking a seat at the table. 

Under normal circumstances, the situation unfolding would have probably made Avery uncomfortable. She was alone in her apartment with a stranger, waiting for another stranger (who was maybe _less_ of a stranger) to come back and join them. But, for some reason she couldn’t quite explain, she didn’t feel unsafe with them. They both seemed to exude a kindness she wasn’t used to.

“Avery,” she replied, giving him a small awkward wave even though she was just a few feet from him. 

“So why is Bucky replacing your smoke detector?” Steve asked, watching as she started to unwrap the flowers on her island.

“ _Bucky_ ,” Avery replied slowly, nodding as she put a name to the other stranger’s face, “rushed into my apartment the other night when my smoke detector was going off. He was concerned there was a fire, I guess.” She paused, rolling her eyes. “There wasn’t. I’m just..not a great cook. But he somehow managed to rip it off my wall.” She pointed up to the space above her door, where a faint circular outline of the device remained.

Their brief conversation was interrupted by a sudden noise above them. Avery let out a long exhale and shut her eyes as her upstairs neighbours started to shout at each other. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence and usually didn’t last long but it annoyed her. A lot.

She caught Steve laughing to himself, shaking his head. She shot him a curious look.

“Bucky lives above these guys,” Steve said, pointing upwards. “Although, we can’t hear them clearly from his living room. It’s usually pretty muffled.”

And that was saying a lot - considering they each had heightened hearing abilities.

“Well, I get to hear them very clearly pretty often. I’m pretty sure the guy is cheating on his girlfriend. With someone who screams a lot.” Avery smirked at Steve, as they both paused again to listen to the yelling above them.

In all the instances Steve had slept over at Bucky’s, he didn’t give much thought to the loud neighbours in the apartment below them. But now, watching Avery talk about them, he felt bad for her having to deal with it. The apartment building wasn’t great or especially secure, not that Steve was concerned about Bucky’s safety.

But someone like Avery, a woman living alone, he felt a faint desire to protect her. Call him old fashioned, he didn’t like to see a damsel in any potential distress. Although, judging from how she quickly rushed to yell at Bucky about her concerning letter, running down the hallway barefoot to approach him, Steve had a hunch Avery was a bit scrappy.

As the shouting petered off above them, Avery snipped at the bottom of her flower bouquet under her running faucet and safely stacked them into a vase. 

She bunched up the leftover wrapping and placed the arrangement on the center of her island. It was nice, fresh. 

“You have a lot of plants,” Steve commented as she finished tidying up. He reached into the pizza box and decided to have a slice. Clearly their Survivor date was delayed so he figured he may as well dive in. He leaned back in his chair as he chewed, watching as she disappeared into her bedroom.

“I do,” she called out a response to him, through her nearly closed door. Avery quickly changed from her work clothes - jeans, blouse and blazer - into something more comfortable - black leggings and oversized sweatshirt. She emerged quickly, running a hand through her hair as she pulled it out of the messy bun. “They’re a lot of upkeep but it gives me something to, well, care about when I wake up in the morning.”

Her statement was a bit darker than she intended and she realized that quickly as she glanced over at Steve, who had a concerned look on his face.

“It also keeps my apartment feeling fresh and tropical,” she continued with a smirk, trying to detract from her prior depressing comment. “There’s a little flower shop a few blocks away that I should probably stop walking by on my way home, to be honest. That’s why I have a fresh bouquet every few days. I mean, I would have preferred peonies today but these tea roses are nice.”

Steve just smiled as she rambled on. He opened the pizza box and turned it towards her, as an offer. 

“Thanks,” she said as she eyed the box apprehensively.

“I didn’t poison it,” Steve commented.

“Well, I figured as much, since you’re eating it. But I feel like maybe I interrupted your dinner plans so I don’t need to take away from your actual _dinner_ , too.”

“You can have one of Bucky’s slices,” Steve pushed the box towards her. She hesitated again then gave in. She was hungry and hadn’t really thought about her own dinner plans yet. Considering her fear of cooking, a warm slice of pizza was better than nearly stale naan bread and hummus or whatever she intended on snacking on. She sat opposite him at the table and grabbed a slice from the box, taking a small bite.

“Are you enlisted?”

She looked up to see Steve pointing at her chest. Well, pointing at the logo on her sweatshirt.

“Oh, god no. I would not even qualify based on my history of asthma and ankle injuries,” she joked with an eye roll. “Just from a military family. This was my brother’s sweatshirt.” She swallowed hard. “He was in the Air Force.”

“Was.” Steve repeated the word, quickly reading her cues. 

“He died about three years ago overseas. Or, well, I guess it was over eight years ago, really.” She sighed. “That missing five years still really messes me up.”

“I’m sorry. About your brother.” Steve’s face was stoic as he looked at her. “To sacrifice for your country, it’s both heroic and tragic.”

Avery didn’t anticipate that kind of reply from him. He looked almost _sad_. 

“Thanks. I mean, it was hard. Sometimes it feels like it just happened.” She tugged on the sleeve with her few hand, clutching the end of it in her fist. “I have another brother, his twin, he’s still in the Army. My dad is a retired General, too.” She took another bite of her pizza. 

Before Steve could get in another word, Bucky was walking back into her apartment. 

“Okay, I found a smoke detector.” He held up a sealed box in his hand. “And batteries.” He glanced over towards them sitting at the table. “Do you have a toolbox, doll?” He looked from Avery back to the box in his hand. “I need a Phillips screwdriver. That’s the one with the X at the top.”

Avery couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, stunned. “Wow. I’ve never been condescended to in such an old fashioned way.” She rolled her eyes and stood up from the table. She didn’t wait for his response as she headed across the apartment and ducked down the hallway into her closet. 

Bucky looked over at Steve who was giving him raised eyebrows. Bucky just shrugged and mouthed ‘ _What?’_ at him. Steve just shook his head.

“How did you get into the maintenance storage room?” Avery called from down the hall.

“Yeah. How did you get into the room?” Steve repeated, throwing Bucky a curious look as if to ask _did you break the door handle?_

Bucky returned an annoyed glance. 

“I have an override code,” Bucky replied, loud enough for her to hear. He lowered his voice for a second. “Pepper said to use it at my discretion.”

Steve just chuckled at him. 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Do you wanna help me with this?”

“Steve’s not the one who ripped it off my wall, _Bucky_ ,” Avery returned to meet him in her kitchen, with a small utility bag in hand. She shoved the bag towards his chest. “There’s a bunch of tools in there. You can use whatever you need. What was it you asked for? A...screw...driver?” She tilted her head like a lost puppy. 

It was clear his screwdriver comment had left her irritated.

He felt bad but again, her irritated face was really cute.

Bucky’s eyes grew wide at her saucy response, drawing out his name. He smirked.

He grabbed one of the empty chairs from around her table and walked towards the apartment door, tearing open the smoke detector box and muttering to himself. Avery gave one last glance in his direction then grabbed her pizza, returning to sit with Steve. 

“So, you were one of The Vanished then,” he continued, finishing his slice of pizza and brushing the crumbs off his hands.

His blue eyes were very curious.

Avery nodded. “Yeah. What a clusterfuck that was.”

Bucky laughed from across the room at her commentary. _Clusterfuck._

A few screws hit the floor, scattering around. “Damnit.”

Steve stood up and walked over towards him, crouching to collect the stray screws. “Take off your gloves?” It was a suggestion but Steve knew it might help his dexterity. He also knew that even after all this time Bucky still felt self-conscious about his arm around strangers. Bucky sighed and brought his left hand up to his mouth, biting to hold onto his glove and pulling his hand free. Steve grabbed it from him in exchange for the screws and patted his bicep before heading back to the table.

Avery studied their brief interaction - it was almost intimate the way they interacted with each other. It was clear they knew each other well - really well. She didn’t want to assume they were _together_ but there was something about their energy that led her to believe that. A weird feeling of disappointment washed over her about it - not that she knew the guy or anything but her upstairs neighbour Bucky was definitely _attractive._

Arguably, so was the Steve guy returning to sit at the table with her again.

She watched as Bucky started to work again and she noticed his exposed hand. It was silver. Metal?

“Is that a prosthetic?” Her eyes went wide as she looked over at him. Bucky looked over his shoulder at her, catching her eyes. He looked away quickly, pulling his hand out of her view. “Your hand? It’s metal?”

“It is,” Bucky huffed back. 

“I’ve never seen one like that before. What’s it made of?”

She saw him stiffen as she continued to ask about it. 

Steve coughed to bring her attention back to him. He knew Bucky would not want to talk about it any further, especially with someone he didn’t know. 

Avery turned back to Steve. She felt like she had unintentionally struck a nerve with Bucky and she really didn’t mean to. 

Steve gave her a small smile. “So, where were you? When it happened?”

In the five years between Thanos first snap and Tony’s final snap, Steve hated to talk about everyone who vanished. It had brought so much pain to him thinking about all the people they had lost, even if it had only been temporary. But, the only way he made sense of it then was to talk about it.

And now, on the other side of it, he had a tendency to do the same thing.

Avery considered his question. It was bold of him to ask, whether or not she considered her answer personal. But the _way_ he asked, out of sheer curiosity with a soft tone to his question, made her want to answer him.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Steven continued as he looked at her. He could see her apprehension again. Then something shifted in her as she shrugged. Like a strange sense of _trust_ existed between them.

“It’s funny, actually. Well, no. It’s not. Although looking back, maybe it is. I don’t know. I remember being at my old apartment I shared with my boyfriend.”

Bucky stopped for a moment and listened from across the room.

“Well, my ex-boyfriend now. We were in the middle of an argument then it was like I dissolved in front of him. Then five seconds later, I was back. In the exact same position, arms waving angrily at him across the kitchen. But the walls were a different colour and it was light out and my boyfriend - _ex-boyfriend_ \- was at the table feeding his kid, sitting beside his _wife_.”

Steve grimaced at her as the story wrapped up. “Well, that’s definitely not the best re-entry story I’ve ever heard.”

They both turned their heads as they heard a piece of plastic snap into place. Bucky motioned up above her door. “There you go.”

Avery stood up and took a few steps towards him, looking up towards the smoke detector on the wall. “Does it work, Tin Man?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. That was exactly why he preferred keeping his hand covered up. He looked over to see a smug look on her face. Sure, she was cute, but clearly she lacked a filter. 

It wasn’t his fault a terrorist organization saved him then ruined his life. It wasn’t. And while every single day he remembered the good things about his life - his arm could often be a reminder of those bad things. 

It would be easy for people to figure out who he really was - who he used to be. There were only so many wanted criminals with metal arms splashed through the news years ago. He lived with it still, every day. And he didn’t need this mouthy girl making fun of him for it. 

He reached up and pressed the reset button: _‘There is a fire.’_

“Music to my ears,” she said with a smirk. “Thank you.”

Bucky hopped off the chair with a huff. “They still together?”

“What?”

He tilted his head at her, curious. “Your ex-boyfriend and his wife?”

Avery rolled her eyes, irritated by the question. “Uh, yes. They are. My return didn’t make much of a difference to their life, I guess. He found something with her and I’m glad they had each other.”

“Can’t blame ‘em, I guess,” Bucky said to her, a sly half smirk on his face. “I mean, you don’t even know how to cook, sweetheart.”

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way he said it but the moment Avery took in his words, she felt defeated. Sure, she didn’t know these guys. But the conversation had been nice. Hell, both her previous interactions with this Bucky guy had been perfectly pleasant. 

Admittedly, Avery had a tendency to come in defensive. It was just in her nature. But opening up about her life and showing a slight vulnerability about what happened when she _unvanished_ didn't give this guy any right to judge her. Maybe he thought she would tease him back. And maybe if she knew him better, she might have. Instead, she took it to heart.

Of all the many reasons she could think of for why Seth would choose _Crystal_ over her, this was just another dumb thing on the list: at least Crystal could cook for them.

“Ouch.” Her voice was quiet. 

“Buck..” Steve said, shooting him an incredulous glance. 

“What is that supposed to mean, anyway?” Avery crossed her arms. She took a step back from him and shook her head. Whatever defenses she had let down temporarily shot back up. “You don’t even know me. I didn’t ask for your opinion on my personal life. I didn’t ask you to barge into my apartment the other day. And while I’m grateful you held up this promise and fixed what _you_ broke, your commentary is not something I asked for.” 

“Avery, he didn’t mean to-

“Steve, it was nice to meet you. Thanks for the pizza.” Her voice was louder now, but she trembled as she spoke. She continued to shake her head, tearing her door open and motioning to the hall. Clearly she was asking them to leave. No, _telling_ them to leave.

Steve grabbed the pizza box and headed towards the door, grabbing Bucky’s arm as he did. “C’mon, let’s just go.” His voice was quiet. He knew well enough to leave an angry woman alone.

The minute they stepped into the hallway, the door shut swiftly behind them.

“I’ve gotta stop putting my foot in my mouth, Stevie,” Bucky said with a sigh. “I really didn’t mean to be rude to her. I really got into my head that she saw my hand, and, well, you know my big mouth…”

“I know, Buck.” Steve threw his arm over his shoulder. “Try not to worry about it.”

* * *

Saturday morning, just after 10:30, there was a knock at Avery’s door. She barely heard it from her bed and she was going to ignore it until curiosity got the best of her. 

The knock didn’t repeat. 

She dragged herself over to the door and opened it slowly. There was no one there. 

As she closed the door, something on the ground caught her eye. Sitting just beside the right of her door frame was a miniature cactus with a single bloomed flower on it.

She crouched down to pick it up and noticed a small piece of paper taped to the bottom. 

  
She pulled it off and unfolded it: _Sorry. If I only had a brain. Bucky._


	4. Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: there is mention of sexual assault in this chapter.

Friday morning Bucky walked down two flights of stairs and cut across the fifth floor of the building. He paused outside of 509 and thought about knocking.

He wanted to apologize to the girl. _Avery_. 

After she bluntly encouraged him and Steve to leave her apartment, she had been on his mind. He acted reactively and he felt like an idiot about it. In his few interactions with her, it was clear she was playful, maybe a bit hot-headed, defensive. He hadn’t been especially _nice_ to her, even if he thought he was being funny teasing her. He was an expert at reading people: she was sad, she had her own life, she had things going on.

Steve mentioned she lost her brother. She had lost years of her life, too. Bucky knew what that was like, yet he still toed the line between playful and a bit mean. She didn’t deserve that, despite her comments about his arm. She had been curious, interested. He took it as her trying to get information about him for the wrong reasons - he was on defense.

Despite all these thoughts running through his head again and again and again, he couldn’t knock on her door. She didn’t owe him anything - even an opportunity to apologize.

The biggest problem he was facing was he didn’t want to think about her anymore. Really, he could chalk this up to an unusual few days he interacted with one of the building residents. He helped one neighbour. That was where it should have ended.

But her irritated face kept crossing his mind. _Her cute, irritated face._ And he thought about her sad eyes from the other day. He thought about his hand grazing the soft skin of her cheek...

He didn’t knock. Instead, he took the same route on his way back up to his apartment that night, hoping he might see her in the hallway instead. Nothing.

After Josie’s Saturday morning class, he took a different route home and found himself in front of a small flower shop a few blocks away from the apartment building. He smiled as the warm wind blew gently across the leaves of a few large potted plants near the door. Inside, he picked out a small cactus with a bright pink bloom.

He asked the cashier for a notecard he could write on.

He approached 509 once more. He crouched down and left the cactus beside the door frame, then knocked on the door and departed from the hallway.

* * *

Avery spent many hours Saturday trying to convince Heidi that a night at an _arcade/bar_ would be a lot of fun. It was her brother’s last weekend before a few months of training and she desperately didn’t want to go alone.

Heidi was not on board. Her exact final response was: _‘I would truly rather fall down an escalator than play Skee-ball with a bunch of Army jocks. Pass.’_

Avery sighed. She had typed out various messages to her brother with excuses as to why she wouldn’t be able to drop by but in the end, she knew it was the right thing to do. 

She also knew she needed to get out of her apartment for a little while. Since shutting the door on those Steve and Bucky guys Thursday, she had only left her apartment to visit with Beatrice down the hall Friday morning.

They watched The Price is Right together and Bea made them lunch. Avery spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch, shuffling between reading, scrolling aimlessly on her phone and watching old Disney movies.

She also finally texted her sister an apology for her abrupt end to their previous video call.

By Saturday, she was feeling better mentally.

She pulled a basic floral dress out of her closet and held it in front of her, staring into her mirror. It was just a night out at some bar with old arcade games with her brother’s friends. It wasn’t a big deal. But, as she had been so painfully reminded of lately, she was _single_ . If she ever wanted to date someone again, she might need to start trying. The dress was simple - green and black florals, spaghetti straps. It fell just above her knee. Paired with a denim jacket and brown boots, she had a put together but not _too put together_ look. 

Simply put, it was cute. Now, her hair. She glanced upwards at the knot on top of her head. She had time to shower. Maybe even curl it. As she gave herself a pathetic once over, tossing the dress onto her bed, her eyes darted to her windowsill. 

One of her longest vine plants - _a climbing philodendron hederaceum_ \- took most of the sunlight but sitting tucked into the corner was her newest acquisition. Well, she supposed it was a gift.

The tiny globe shaped cactus - _mammillaria mystax_ \- made her smile everytime she looked at it.

She had some regrets about how the other night played out.

She wished she had told _Steve_ less about herself. It was a risk feeling so vulnerable. 

She wanted to go back and perhaps be a bit more polite to _Bucky_ , avoid making any extra comments about his arm. Whether or not he wanted to share the story behind his prosthetic was up to him and she shouldn’t have pressed.

Above anything else, she wanted to time travel and tell herself not to _freak out_ just because Bucky made an unintentionally rude comment. It had struck a chord she wasn’t anticipating and she was embarrassed thinking about how she reacted.

The cactus had been a nice gesture. In fact, it made her feel even worse. She was the one who _freaked out_. Yet, he took it upon himself to apologize to her. He had been crossing her mind all day ever since she read his note.

Admittedly, his Wizard of Oz reference wasn’t exactly correct if he was responding to her Tin Man comment. But it was the thought that counted.

Again and again, the more she thought about it, the more she appreciated the gesture. She had been giving him a hard time. He had playfully teased. He had been so kind to her, ever since the first moment he rushed into her apartment to make sure there wasn’t a fire.

He put himself between her and that stupid exploding dish. He helped clean the cut on her cheek.

And _he_ apologized to _her._

She took her time getting ready to go out. Maybe she was delaying the whole evening but she knew it had been a while since she really tried to put herself together. After her shower, she dried her hair and curled it, using her fingers to pull her fading blonde locks into loose waves. She paired an old dark denim jacket with her floral dress, added some mascara and lipstick then headed on her way.

At least this silly arcade bar - barcade? - was close enough she could walk and leave whenever she wanted.

Even though her brother and his friends were all dressed in their _civilian_ clothes, they weren’t hard to find. The bar was large, with tables and most of the games on the lower level but above on the balcony was even more seating. She squeezed passed a busy table and climbed the stairs, spotting Nash sitting with a few people at a taller table near the edge of the balcony railing. She could hear their roaring laughter from a mile away. 

“Avery Ray!” Nash waved her over when he spotted her down the way. It always made her want to roll her eyes when he included her middle name but she couldn’t get mad about it. She climbed onto one of the vacant seats to the left of her brother.

“Do you purposely buy t-shirts that are a size too small or what?” She nudged him in the arm, pointing out his stretched sleeve overtop his left bicep.

“Funny.” He smirked at her, then motioned his head down the table.

“Hey Luke,” Avery called in that direction.

“What’s up Avery?” Luke was one of her brother's oldest friends. They had done basic training together and somehow managed to stay in the same unit since. 

Luke never seemed the military type - he was loose, casual. He skateboarded and surfed back in California where he grew up. If he had his way, he’d have long shoulder length hair. He had fit right into their family when he found himself stationed on the East coast - it wasn’t uncommon for him to come alongside Nash during the holidays. 

“This is my girlfriend Sienna,” Luke continued, placing his hand behind the back of the red headed girl sitting beside him. “Babe, Avery vanished, too.”

The red headed girl smiled wide, jumped out of her seat and rushed over to sit in the unoccupied seat beside Avery. She did not want to be quick to judge, but based on this girl’s reaction, the fact that they both lost five years of their life might very well be the only thing they have in common.

Avery gave her brother and Luke a hard glance. It was clear this new girlfriend was being pawned off on her. Nash contained his smirk and poured a glass of beer for her from the pitcher on the table, sliding it over with an apologetic glance. 

“Okay so like, what happened to you?” Avery grabbed the beer and took a big drink as Sienna started to talk. “I was in the shower when I disappeared.”

Avery just smiled, letting out a breath. “No way. Tell me all about it.” 

* * *

“So, still thinking about the apartment girl?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. While he knew it was normal to share personal stories with friends and coworkers, sometimes he didn’t want Sam to know everything. 

Bucky could see Steve smirking from the corner of his eye. 

“What? All I said was you kind of blew it bickering with her,” Steve said with a laugh. “You’re out of practice, that’s all.”

Bucky wasn’t out of practice. He just..hadn’t really thought about women and dating for a while. For a long time, in fact. Even though Shuri had helped him rehabilitate and rewire his brain while he was recovering in Wakanda, he still felt like some things were missing. He had flashes of memories from when he and Steve were younger - Bucky was especially smooth with women then. But now he was...okay, Steve was right. He _was_ out of practice. 

Bucky ran his right hand over the condensation collecting on his beer glass. He shook his head to try not to worry about _Avery_ , focusing on the table of friends around him. Sam, Sharon, Steve, and a few other civilian Avengers agents had come out to celebrate his birthday. Even though he insisted it wasn’t necessary. Really, as Steve pointed out, it was just nice to have a night out with the team. 

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. Pop culture question or whatever.” Bucky pointed to Sharon and Sam. “Can you tell me what a Muppet is?”

Sharon stifled a laugh, tilting her head as she glanced at him. “I always like these educational opportunities.” She threw a smirk to Sam, who was laughing into his beer glass. 

“God, it must be fun for you two to play catch up,” Sam added in, grabbing his phone. “I assume puppet shows still existed back in the Jurassic era when you two were kids?”

And that was exactly how Sam and Sharon gave the two super soldiers a lesson on Jim Henson’s Muppets. 

“You’re telling me they remade Treasure Island with a bunch of colourful puppets?” Bucky glanced between the two of them. “That’s classic literature.”

“But it’s awesome. Trust me, man. Put it on the top of your movie list.”

“And the pig is in love with the frog?” Steve glanced down at the images on Sam’s phone. 

Sharon nearly spit out her drink as she listened to him. “Yes, Captain. These are strange times for love.” Steve just shook his head, shooting a smile towards the blonde.

As their evening carried on, everyone at the table came and went, ordering some appetizers, disappearing to play pool or some of the video games. Just as Steve was about to join Sam to play foosball, someone caught his eye walking down the stairs. Looking at her phone as she descended, Avery quickly swept past their table and headed towards the bar on the back wall.

“Hey Buck,” Steve reached out to grab Bucky’s arm, pulling his attention from someone at the other end of the table. “Look.”

Bucky followed Steve’s gaze until he spotted Avery. He almost didn’t recognize her, hair flowing down her back in waves, in a dress and jean jacket. She leaned on the side of the bar, glancing down at her phone then up to the bartender. He saw her smiling after she ordered, then her face fell as the bartender turned away from her.

“Just go say something,” Steve said, a playful smirk on her face. Bucky looked over at him, eyebrows raised. “You’re still beating yourself up over it, you may as well go say hello.”

Bucky sighed and finished off his beer. He missed when beer made him a touch more confident - now it was really just like water to him. The super soldier serum really screwed up with his tolerance levels. It took a lot for him to even feel buzzed. He slipped off his chair and adjusted his leather jacket, heading over towards the bar.

“Foosball?” Sam came back to the table and slapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. He looked over where Steve’s eyes were pointed, as Bucky walked towards a girl at the bar.

“Apartment girl,” Steve answered before Sam asked. “Honestly Sam, it’s really cute. They were basically bickering like the two of you do.”

“Oh, that girl is in trouble then.” Sam laughed. “You don’t mind?”

Steve shook his head, standing up and looking away from Bucky as he approached. “I really don’t. I think he’s missing something lately.” That’s all Steve needed to say. 

Sam just nodded. “She’s cute.”

“Yeah, and fiery.”

“Well, good luck to both of them.”

* * *

It wasn’t that Sienna wasn’t nice. She was nice. But boring. And Avery could not stand another instance of her rambling on about her transition to a health coach who works from home. Sienna was _reborn_ after The Vanishing. She kept saying that. Reborn.

Avery was angry. Sienna was reborn. People dealt with things differently, clearly.

Nash’s friend Charlie showing up at their table was Avery’s opportunity to _get out of there_. Even if just for a few minutes. She couldn’t stand seeing his smug face across the table and she did not want to catch up. She slipped off her barstool and quickly headed downstairs while her brother greeted his friend.

She texted Heidi _again_ \- hopeful she had changed her mind. She received a quick _‘nope’_ in response from her friend. 

  
Avery sighed and headed to the bar. If she was going to keep up appearances for the rest of the night, stealing from her brother’s pitcher of beer was not going to cut it.

As she waited for the bartender to return with her order, she leaned against the bar and anxiously checked her phone again. When she looked up, there was someone standing in front of her.

“Hey..”

“Bucky, hi,” she said quickly. She wasn’t sure why seeing him in front of her suddenly made her feel nervous but her stomach swirled as he gave her a small smile. 

He opened his mouth to continue but the bartender returned. 

“Here you go - two shots of tequila and a double of our cheapest whiskey on ice with a slice of lime.” Avery was suddenly pretty embarrassed about her drink order when he repeated it back to her. She just knew the tequila would immediately take off the edge. The whiskey was for sipping. 

She pulled some cash out of the small brown bag hanging off her shoulder then turned to Bucky. Her eyes narrowed for a moment as she looked at his chest. 

“It’s your birthday?” She pointed at the small _Birthday Boy_ button Sharon had pinned on his jacket. He felt his face flush red. 

Seeing him blush was probably one of the cutest things Avery had ever seen. 

“It is my birthday, yes,” Bucky said nodding his head. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“Well,” she turned towards the bar. “Then one of these is for you.” She slid one of the shots of tequila toward him. 

He hesitated. It was truly a waste of alcohol but she seemed almost excited to share with him. And hey, she was talking to him. So she must not be mad anymore. Maybe the cactus had worked. 

“Sure.” 

They each grabbed the small glass and clinked quickly before tipping the liquid into their mouths. 

“Fuck.” Avery squeezed her eyes shut and winced as she returned the shot glass to the bar. “Why do I do this to myself?” 

Bucky returned his glass to the bar as well, shaking his head. Without the added benefit of losing his inhibitions, tequila was not worth it. 

“Listen, Avery, I’m really sorry for-

“Nope. It’s your birthday. I’m the one who should be apologizing now.”

He motioned his head away from the bar, down towards the rows of arcade machines. She followed him, taking her glass of whiskey. 

“The cactus was really unexpected,” she continued. She paused to take a sip of her drink and push her hair over her right shoulder. “And really, really nice. But definitely unnecessary. I owe _you_ the apology. I have a tendency to defend myself at 100%, shields up, ready for action, you know? I probably didn’t need to freak out at your comment.”

“The comment was uncalled for though, so you had good reason.”

Avery smiled. She liked how he was trying to be accountable for his actions. 

Bucky liked her smile. He especially liked the smile she gave when she _meant_ it. 

“Maybe we should just start again?” Avery stuck her right hand out to him. “Hey, I’m Avery. I think you live in my building?”

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes then stuck his hand out to meet hers. “Yeah, I’m on the 7th floor. I’m Bucky.”

“Is that really what’s listed on your birth certificate? I mean, I had a friend in high school named Flower so it’s not the most unusual name I’ve heard.”

He smirked as he pulled his hand away. “James Buchanan Barnes. But my friends call me Bucky.”

“Friends, huh?” She took another sip of her drink, a coy smile turning up on her lips. “That was fast.”

He shrugged, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jackets. 

Avery watched him carefully. Leather jacket, plain black t-shirt, dark denim, boots. He definitely didn’t want to stand out in a crowd. She wasn’t much for reading body language but he seemed almost nervous. She appreciated that - she was nervous, too. 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “For asking about your hand. Sometimes I speak before I think.”

He tilted his head and his whole body seemed to sigh. “It’s okay. Most people don’t know how to deal with it, like it freaks them out, they feel uncomfortable or somethin’.”

“That’s the thing!” Her eyes grew wide for a moment. “The only reason I even asked is.. well, my dad has a prosthetic, too - from his right knee and down. He’s been on a waitlist for an upgraded mechanism for a long time so I always like to see what the newest stuff looks like.”

Bucky nodded and let his shoulders relax. That’s why she had asked so many questions. 

“Steve said you mentioned your dad is a retired general? Was it a…”

“He was doing a peace keeping mission with the UN in the eighties. Stepped on an IED.”

“Oh shit.”

“I mean, he survived. And he always tells us that he’s grateful it was him who hit it and not the group of villagers he was leading to a safe zone.”

“Wow. He sounds like a tough man.”

Avery just nodded and waved her hand. “Anyway. Again, I’m sorry about your hand.”

“Actually, it’s my entire arm.” He pulled his left hand out of his pocket, still gloved, and extended it to her. 

It was funny - it was in that exact moment that Avery felt a shift with Bucky. He went from nerves and insecurity to a real human: showing her exactly what makes him feel vulnerable. She opened her eyes wide to him, as if to ask if he was okay for her to touch him. He just smiled and nodded. 

She motioned for him to take her drink in his other hand and when he did, she carefully brought her hands to his forearm. Even through his leather jacket, she could feel the metal. It was a bit cold and very heavy in her hands. Her hands trailed up slowly, over his bicep to his shoulder joint. That’s where it met up with his flesh again. 

“Wow. That’s incredible. Does it hurt at all?” 

“Not anymore,” he replied with a shrug, handing her back her drink. She took it from him with a grateful smile, as if to say _thank you._ Not just for holding it, but for accepting her apology and telling her about his arm. 

She took another sip of her whiskey, pulling out the lime wedge and sucking on it. “For what it’s worth, a metal arm is incredibly fucking cool.”

Bucky wasn’t sure if she was trying to make him feel a twinge of jealousy towards that citrus fruit between her lips, but that’s exactly what happened. He looked down and cleared his throat, letting out a long exhale. 

“Well,” Avery said as he looked back up, meeting her eyes. “I should get back to those loud idiots upstairs.” She reached out and squeezed his right forearm for a brief moment. “I’ll see around, I hope.” She waved, just barely, as she turned and walked away from him. 

Bucky couldn’t help but watch as she weaved through the tables and headed upstairs, stopping at a table of, well, loud people. He headed down the far side of the room and found Steve and Sam. 

“Well?”

“Well what?” Bucky replied to Steve, a cocky smile on his face. 

“We saw you over there. She touched your arm. Physical contact - big step,” Sam piped in, raising his eyebrows at Bucky. 

“Okay, you two need to cool your jets.”

“Whatever you want, birthday boy.”

* * *

Avery didn’t want to go back upstairs. Truthfully, she would have a much better time talking to Bucky than pretending to laugh at her brother's friends. When she got back to the table, she placed herself down on the bar stool beside Sienna. Unfortunately it only placed one empty seat between her and Charlie but she did her best to ignore that fact. 

A long time ago, Avery made the mistake of admitting to a minuscule crush she had on her brothers’ friend Charlie Porter. He had a beautiful smile and was incredibly charming. Considering how much time he spent around her as a teenager, she really couldn’t help herself. The feelings she had for him were basically inevitable. 

The summer after her high school graduation, there were a few weeks where Nash and Charlie were both on leave. They spent a lot of time at the Felix household. And one night, after the whole family had been watching a movie together, Charlie started to flirt. And Avery loved it. A week later, he was taking her out to dinner. Nash hated the idea of it but eventually just stopped protesting when Charlie assured him he’d be a proper gentleman. 

They had a perfect date. But things took a turn on their drive home. Things escalated faster than Avery wanted and when she hesitated, when she _resisted_ , when she said **no** , he didn’t stop. 

It took Avery a very long time to forget him grabbing her head and forcing it down on him. Her jaw hurt for days, there were bruises all over her thighs and backside from his grabbing hands. When Nash asked how the date went, she said it was fine but told him not to worry, it wasn’t going to happen again. Her brother seemed relieved. 

Luckily, Charlie kind of disappeared from her life after that. He ended up stationed in California for a long time and did multiple campaigns overseas. The last time she saw him was probably Jeremy’s funeral. 

She would be happy to never see Charlie Porter ever again. Luckily, with time and support and a lot of crying over the years, she considered herself mostly recovered from his assault. The only person she ever told was Seth and he had been kind and patient with her about it when they started to date. 

The only feeling she had towards Charlie now was _seething anger_ . She wanted to scream at him, demand an apology, understand _why_ he did what he did. She wanted to shout from the rooftops about how anger, his clear desire for dominance over women, his snake like attitude. But she knew better then to start a fight in the middle of a bar, so she would just slap on a smile if he tried to talk to her. 

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what he did. 

As soon as Avery sat down, a waiter appeared at their table with a huge tray of shot glasses someone had requested, filled with an amber liquid. She felt a hand grab her shoulder and she turned her attention to it.

“You want a shot, Avery?” She met Charlie’s eyes then bit her tongue. The biggest issue she had with Charlie was he put on a friendly, especially kind front. It reminded her of the version of him she knew before their date, before the look in his eyes switched from kindness to darkness.

“Sure,” she replied, taking the glass from him as the rest of them were handed out around the table. They all cheered for Nash, Charlie and Luke as they were off on their training program. The small glasses clinked together and the cinnamon whiskey burned as it went down Avery’s throat.

She chased it with the rest of her own glass of whiskey.

_Avery was grateful for whiskey._

“Looking nice and grown up, Avery,” Charlie said to her afterwards, tilting his head towards her. She wanted to vomit as his eyes looked up and down her body. “I’d love to catch up.”

She turned her back away from Charlie immediately after, pretending to be engaged with Sienna instead. She didn’t want to talk about online workout programs but she would if it meant avoiding any conversation with him.

The evening carried on. Sienna wasn’t as bad as Avery initially thought and she appreciated being able to catch up with Luke. Another round or two of shots appeared but just after midnight, most of their group started to move towards the exit. She scanned her eyes around the downstairs space - they landed on a table in the middle of the room where she saw Bucky laughing with Steve and their friends. He looked really carefree - she liked that on him.

“The base has a 1AM curfew,” Nash said to Avery as they headed down the stairs. He threw his arm over her shoulder. “Thanks for hanging out, Ave. I’ll see you in July.”

“Be safe, okay?” She turned to look up at him as they paused near the bar.

“Of course,” he replied quietly, pulling her in for a hug. “Are you calling a cab?”

“I’m like four blocks away, I’ll walk.” She rolled her eyes at his worried glance. “With my phone at the ready in case of emergency, okay? I’ll be fine. I’ve walked this route a bunch of times before.”

She got another hug from her brother, plus one from Luke and even Sienna. Avery ducked into the bathroom as they left.

She looked at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, nodding proudly. She made it through the night and was really looking forward to sleeping late in the morning. She was doing her best to stay composed, especially around her brother, but the alcohol had certainly gotten to her. She was capable of standing upright and making her way home, but she knew she might feel it in the morning.

She let out a long breath and ran a hand through her hair as she headed out of the washroom. The warm air rushed against her skin as she walked out the side door of the building, winding up in the parking lot. 

“Avery, hey, wait a second.” She paused and turned to see Charlie exiting through the door she had just walked through. Her eyes rolled back into her head as his footsteps approached.

“Aren’t you about to miss your curfew?” Avery crossed her arms and glanced up at him.

“I’m technically still on a leave until Monday morning so I’m staying off base right now,” Charlie replied to her with a smirk. “They put me up in a place in Greenwich. Just a cab ride away, if you wanted to keep this going.”

Avery couldn’t help but laugh, giving into another eye roll. “You’re kidding. Is that a veiled attempt at hitting on me?”

“I thought it was pretty straight forward actually.” The look on his face was especially smug. “C’mon, Nash said you’re single and, well, we’re both willing adults so why not?”

Avery was blown away by his straight forward attitude. Really, she was embarrassed to admit the last time she had sex or even kissed someone was before she vanished. Months before, even. Her and Seth weren’t in the best place at the time but despite the dry spell, she wasn’t desperate enough to screw around with Charlie. She was unbelievably offended he would even ask such a thing outright. Was she giving him some sort of vibe or was he just a piece of shit?

“Have I expressed even an ounce of interest in this happening?” Avery did her best to remain calm. Even looking at him was irritating her and considering the dim lights of the parking lot, her trust in him was draining by the moment. She uncrossed her arms and reached for her purse. “Did you follow me out here on purpose?”

Charlie closed in the gap between them. Avery took a step back but wound up with her back against the end of a pick-up truck.

“It’s just one night, Avery.” He lifted his hand towards her face and she grabbed it, doing her best to throw it away from her.

“Don’t.”

“What? Are you still mad about before? That was a long time ago. Let me make up for it. I’m sure we’ve both learned a few things since then.” He reached up again, putting a hand on her right bicep. His right leg shifted forward too, planted just between her legs. His other hand gently landed on her midsection, trailing down slowly. “I promise we can both _get off_ this time.”

“I am not interested in reliving that so please Charlie, just stop.” She twisted around underneath his hands, grabbing the one moving toward her thigh and digging her nails into it.

“That’s a fucking bitch move, Avery,” he pulled his hand away. She noticed his tone shift dramatically, his eyes darkening. She wished she hadn’t done all those extra shots upstairs now - her brain was a bit of a mess as she was trying to think of an escape plan.

“Well, maybe you should take a hint,” she replied quietly, wriggling her shoulders and trying to move from under his grip. A hint? An obvious fucking sign she was not interested. 

“No.” His pierced hand came up to grip her face and he leaned in. 

“I’ll scream.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.”

Before his lips could touch her, a voice called out down the parking lot.

“Avery?”

Charlie turned to see who was calling for her. “She’s occupied, buddy.”

Avery took his brief moment of distraction as an opportunity. With her arms pinned and his leg locked between hers, she had limited movement. But, as he turned back towards her she threw her body weight at him and knocked her head into his. Her forehead connecting with his made a dull knocking noise and, thankfully. proved effective. The force made him release his hands and stumble backwards, bringing a hand up to his head.

“Jesus Christ, Avery,” he spat out at her, shaking his head. He glanced at her then to the side where a group of people were quickly approaching. “I’m out of here. You’ve gotten fat since high school, by the way.”

She leaned onto the truck, grabbing her own head. Okay, that may not have been the best idea but at least she was free to get away from him. She wanted to yell back at him and remind him that he’s a piece of shit but he had quickly reached the sidewalk and turned a corner away from the parking lot.

“Fuck,” she whispered to herself. Now, she was going to have a goose egg on her head and a hangover in the morning. It definitely wasn’t worth it.

“Are you okay?” She recognized that voice. As her eyes slowly opened, she saw Bucky walking towards her. It was clear he looked torn between talking to her and wanting to hurry after Charlie - his stance at the ready, neck stretching to see what direction he went in.

“Dude, she just headbutted that guy. I’m kind of impressed.” She glanced from Bucky to the next guy, who was standing with his arms crossed. He had dark skin and a shining smile.

“Probably not the best move, tactically.” That was Steve. “Did you know him, that guy you just slammed your head into?”

Avery held up her hand to stop them all from talking, leaning back onto the truck. Her head was spinning so she squeezed her eyes shut. “Just give me a second.” She moved from leaning to sitting on the jutted out bumper, taking a few deep breaths with her head down.

“Avery.” Bucky crouched down in front of her, speaking softly. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay. I just suddenly have a pounding headache. God knows why.” Her attempt to deflect was pretty transparent. She looked up slightly and met his eyes. In the yellow lights from the parking lot, they still managed to shine brightly as he looked at her. 

She swallowed and sat up straighter, glancing between the three men.

“To answer your question,” she motioned to Steve, breaking away from Bucky’s gaze. “He’s an old friend of my brothers. I’ve known him for a long time.” She paused. Her voice came out in a whisper. “Unfortunately, it was not our first incident.”

“Fucker,” Sam said, shaking his head. Avery must have been giving him a confused look because he tried to break into a smile. “I’m Sam, by the way.”

She let out a low laugh. “Hi Sam.”

“Do you feel nauseous? Is your vision blurry? Can you stand?” Steve tilted his head, watching her movements. He was worried about a concussion, more than anything. 

“Those aren’t fair questions,” she replied to him, with an eye roll. “I’m kind of drunk so my blurr - my vision is blurry anyways.” 

Sam laughed, nudging Steve in the arm.

Bucky stood up and extended his hand to help her up. She grabbed it and got onto her feet slowly, rolling her neck a few times. He released her hand then closed in their space, looking at her forehead. He tore off the glove on his right hand and reached out, gently touching the growing bruise above her right eyebrow. She winced as his fingers moved over it.

“Were you going to walk home?” Bucky asked as he took a step away from her, crossing his arms. Avery glanced at the three of them again - all standing at the ready, she wanted to laugh and tell them they looked ridiculous. But, she was grateful they were being so kind.

“I was, yes,” she replied to him.

“Alone?”

She let out a huff. “Yes.”

Sam, Steve and Bucky all shared a concerned glance as if she couldn’t see.

“That’s a bit irresponsible, Avery,” Steve said. She knew he probably didn’t intend to come across as belittling her, but that was how she interpreted it.

“Well, thanks for the lecture. But, I’ll be fine.” She took a step forward then paused as she tried to get her bearings.

“I’ll walk you home,” Bucky offered. He glanced over to Steve who just smirked. He was going home to his place in the village anyway, since he and Sam were going to an early men’s breakfast at the Veteran’s Affair office downtown. 

She wanted to give him a sassy reply about how they were walking the same direction anyway but more than anything, though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, she was actually grateful for the company. Although her stomach was feeling a bit uneasy, she hoped she could make it home without throwing up in front of him.

Sam gave Bucky a half hug, making a quiet comment into his friend’s ear that Avery couldn’t hear. Next, Steve clutched onto Bucky’s shoulder and met his eyes. They shared a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Avery,” Sam said to her as they walked away. Steve gave her a wave, pausing at the sidewalk to hail a cab.

“You sure you can walk?” Bucky turned to her. His eyes looked concerned. 

“I can manage,” she replied with a wave. “I think it was just the initial shock.”

He nodded and motioned towards the end of the parking lot. They started to walk, slowly at first but soon enough they were a block away from the bar. The cool air was refreshing. 

“So, how was your birthday?” Avery asked, breaking the silence between them. 

Bucky glanced over at her and shrugged. “It was fine. I don’t care much about it really.”

“How old are you now?” 

He let out a short exhale, smirking. “Guess.”

“Hmm,” she stopped and grabbed his arm to stop him, too. She turned him towards her, pretending to analyze the details of his face. 

She wasn’t pretending, really. His hair was a bit of a mess, his eyes a steely curious blue. There were creases near his eye lids, like his face had seen a lot of wear over time. But also, a display of a good smile. She liked when he smiled. 

He had stubble over his jaw line, and his lips looked soft. So soft. 

She swallowed as he met her eyes. 

“I’m going to say 33? 34?”

He laughed. That’s probably about how old he did look. “Would you believe me if I told you I was 108?”

Avery smiled, wide. “Well, what’s your secret? Because your skin looks great.” She laughed again and looped her arm in his, turning back as they continued towards their apartment building. “This is just so I don’t fall over.”

A coy smile appeared on his lips. “Sure.”

Bucky wanted to ask her about that guy - about what was happening in the parking lot. He couldn’t, of course. That was probably not a very light conversation to have and it was likely better for her not to think of it at all. But he kept hearing her quiet voice over and over: _“Unfortunately, it was not our first incident.”_

She carried on the conversation for them just fine, going on and on about how she didn’t get to spend any time playing the vintage Donkey Kong arcade machine because she was upstairs for most of the night with her brother and his friends. Bucky just nodded along as she talked, suddenly feeling a bit lost because he wasn’t really sure what Donkey Kong even was. 

Soon enough, they were back at their apartment building, climbing up to the fifth floor. 509.

Avery had been doing really well so far - she was still feeling a bit drunk and her head was pounding, but she had been holding it together. The minute they paused outside her apartment door, things took a turn. The uneasy feeling in her stomach grew like a tidal wave. Perhaps it was the shift from cool outside air to the warm, stuffy hallway. She closed her eyes and leaned against the door frame for a second while she keyed in her door code.

“Are you okay?” Bucky’s voice sounded far away.

Avery shook her head as the door opened. She dropped her purse down on the floor and peeled off her denim jacket, quickly rushing into the bathroom and swinging the door shut behind her. 

He hesitated then followed her inside, picking up her discarded things and leaving them on her kitchen island. He laughed to himself as he heard the water running, it was a clear attempt at her covering up the sound of throwing up. He was a bit concerned actually - if she had a concussion, vomiting was not a great sign.

“Avery,” he said as he approached the door. “Don’t pass out on me, okay? You hit your head pretty bad.”

A few minutes later he could hear her shuffling and the door swung open. She smiled at him weakly then turned back to the sink, grabbing her toothbrush. He leaned on the door frame and met her eyes through the mirror. “You alright?”

“I think so,” she replied. Her words were jumbled over the toothbrush in her mouth. “That was just from all the combinations of shots, I think.” She closed her eyes as she leaned down to rinse out her mouth. “I’m incredibly embarrassed you just heard me throwing up, though.”

Bucky let out a laugh and shook his head. “Don’t be.” He turned back towards her kitchen, turning on the light. He pulled out one of the chairs that had been tucked into the table and pointed. “Sit.”

Normally, she might be annoyed with him telling her what to do. _She could take care of herself._ But her head was still spinning and sitting seemed like a much better option than slinking around the kitchen.

“Fine,” she grumbled out, a smile crossing her face.

Bucky fumbled around her kitchen - grabbing a glass of water and searching in the freezer for something she could apply to the contusion on her forehead. He headed back towards her as she leaned back in the chair. The dull moonlight coming in from the far side of her living room illuminated her. Her hair was a mess as she pushed it over to one side, she was taking slow breaths. She had faint freckles decorating her shoulders, like an array of stars.

He looked at her intently, leaning in towards her.

Her voice came out like a whisper as she looked into his eyes. “What?”

“Just want to make sure you don’t have any residual damage from that blow to your head, doll,” he replied, just as quietly. He watched her eyes dart around. “Here.” He left the glass of water on the table and gently pressed the ice pack from her freezer against her forehead. “How does that feel?”

She smiled. “Uhm. Cold.” She reached up and held it with her own hand, letting his fall away.

He laughed. That was a fair response. He wasn’t sure what his next steps would be. He had done his part and gotten her safely home. But considering she had thrown up and her unsteady eyes, he was a bit worried about leaving her alone. As he contemplated, he saw her eyes starting to close.

“Are you falling asleep or passing out?” He asked quickly, crouching down in front of her. 

“How would I know the difference?” She asked in response, yawning. 

“Sleep comes slowly. Passin’ out is all at once.”

“Then I think this is sleep..” Her voice trailed off. “Thank you for being here.”

“Avery,” he shifted forward, reaching to grab the ice pack from her hand. “Maybe you should move to your bed?”

“Hmmmm,” she replied to him quietly, sitting forward. She seemed to be agreeing with his statement. “I don’t know if it was worth it,” she mumbled out, holding her hand up to her forehead again. 

“C’mon,” he stood up and extended his hand to her. She let out a low grumble and leaned back onto the chair.

She shrugged. “Maybe I can just sleep here instead.” 

“You have to travel like twenty feet.”

She just stared at his hand.

“Okay then,” Bucky said, scrunching his face into a half smile. With both hands he reached down towards her and before she even realized what was happening, he grabbed her just under her armpits and pulled her upwards to stand.

“Hey, don’t do that. Apparently I’ve put on weight since high school, says Charlie fucking Porter. Probably best not to pick me up.” 

“Charlie _fucking_ Porter is an idiot,” Bucky nudged her in the direction of her bedroom, playing along with her tone. “You must have been skin and bones in high school if that’s true.”

Avery turned and replied to him over her shoulder, a small smile crossing her face. “You’re smooth, you know that?”

He followed her as she walked into the bedroom, but he stopped at the doorway. 

“Close your eyes,” she commanded him as she started to tear off her dress without warning. He did as she asked, not before catching just a glimpse of her back and matching underwear. He took that moment to step away and grabbed the ice pack again and when he got back to her room, she was crawling under her blankets, laying with her head on the pillow.

He walked in and smiled down at her, gently returning the ice to her forehead.

“Still cold,” she mumbled out. 

“Are you going to be okay?” He crouched down at the side of the bed, gazing onto her as her eyes closed again.

“Thank you for ensuring I made it home safely, Bucky.” He watched her body move as she exhaled. “There’s something about you..”

“Yeah? What something?” His voice was low.

“I don’t know. But I like it.”

Bucky sighed as he watched her drift to sleep, sad eyes hidden away, soft skin illuminated by the moonlight through the window. Part of him longed to crawl into the bed beside her or park outside her door in case something else happened. But, of course, that wasn’t the card being dealt to them. He reached his hand out and gently brushed a few strands of hair off of her cheek. “G’night, Avery. I’ll see you around, I hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-wrote a few sections of this one a few times but I think it turned out just how I wanted - let me know what you thought!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who was read, commented, subscribed, kudos'd, etc. so far! I really really appreciate the support. This story has been a fun distraction during this maddening time and I'm happy to have so many people along for the ride.
> 
> I'm the one writing this story but dang if that line with Bucky simply asking Avery 'Are you hurt?' didn't get me in the feelings. I think I like a protective!Bucky. I mean, maybe we all do. We'll see just where this goes in the next chapter. Thank you again for reading!!


	5. Hashbrowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers! Here's chapter five - coming in hot. As I said before, this is a bit of a slow burn but hopefully you'll enjoy watching this relationship grow.
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who read the last chapter - I probably sound like a broken record but I want to make sure you know how appreciative I am for the support. I'm really enjoying writing this and it makes all the difference to have other people invested in it, too.
> 
> Thank you for your comments, too!!! I love hearing your thoughts! It really makes me giddy when I get a new email notification for a comment. And shoutout to ccmoore for the plant inspiration ;)
> 
> anyway, here we go!

Sunday mornings were usually pretty slow for Bucky - get up, make a coffee, read the paper, go for a run, start his training routine. He didn't need much sleep - a strange added benefit of the super soldier serum having coursed through his body. But his morning came very quickly this time - faster than usual.

Avery had been on his mind since the moment he left her apartment. He had suffered through enough concussions in his lifetime to know the effects they caused - although he had accelerated healing. Aside from dizziness and a few moments of disorientation, he bounced back rapidly. Avery on the other hand… well, he could just summarize that he was worried she might be more hurt than he saw last night.

When he woke up in the morning, he had a text message from Steve: ' _gmorning! How'd everything go on the walk home?'_

Bucky replied: ' _I tucked her into bed after she threw up but other than that, it was mostly uneventful. Tell me the truth - would it be weird to wait outside her door to make sure she wakes up?'_

' _It probably would be but I feel like you're going to do it anyway'_

After his post-run shower, he went down to her floor and knocked on the door. There was no response. It was early still and she might be a heavy sleeper. He leaned in towards the door and closed his eyes, trying to hyperfocus his hearing. He picked up on some noises - the movement of her blankets, a soft groaning noise escaping her mouth, a shift in the mattress, her feet hitting the floor and taking a few steps.

At least she was alive.

Bucky glanced down at his watch. _8:43._ He leaned against the wall just beside her door and thought about his next move. A few minutes later, he could hear the sink running in the bathroom.

He let out a long exhale and stepped forward, knocking on the door again. He heard her feet shuffling.

The door opened slow, revealing a _rough_ looking Avery.

"Hey," her voice croaked out, opening her door wider to motion him to come in. Her hair was piled on top of her head, a big oversized t-shirt was draped over her, revealing a bare shoulder. There were two mismatched socks pulled up her ankles, on top of her black leggings.

"How you feelin'?" Bucky asked, walking in. He leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching as she leaned forward on the island. He studied her face - pale, exhausted. Above her right eye there was the remainder of her head on collision with Charlie - a round red bump, swelling just along her eyebrow.

She just groaned in response to him, squeezing her eyes shut. "My head is pounding."

"That's what happens when you slam your head into someone else's," he said with a smirk.

She looked up at him - her face was much less enthused.

There was a strange feeling washing through Bucky's body as he looked at her - he wanted to ask her more questions and make sure she was okay. It was a weird compulsion he hadn't felt in a long time.

When he was in Wakanda rehabilitating his mind, returning to normal took an emotional toll on him. He went through extreme rollercoasters of experiencing feelings again. Days of anger rolled into contentment to sadness to grief. His time would be divided between agonizing in bed to helping with manual labour. He worked with their best team of doctors, scientists and psychologists to help heal his mind. Discovering a new emotion, or something that seemed to have been repressed by the modifications of his mind under HYDRA's control, could throw him off for days.

Now, things were easier. He was in control of his mind and emotions most of the time. Until these last few days. Being around Avery, getting to know her slowly, there had been a shift.

He wasn't sure exactly what to do with the feeling - he knew he should talk to Steve. But he was sitting with it instead, letting it flow through him and see if he could figure it out on his own.

Part of him wanted to protect Avery and another part of him wanted to lay kisses against her shoulders…

"Do you want to go get breakfast?"

Her question brought Bucky back to the present.

He nodded. "Sure."

She gave him a small smile, bringing her hand up to her swollen eyebrow. "I just need a few minutes to change and find an Advil."

Bucky remained leaning against the kitchen counter, pretending to glance at his phone while he watched her dart around the apartment. Well, she moved like a tortoise around the apartment. She disappeared into the bathroom again first. Drawers opened and closed, he could hear her opening up a bottle of pills. The Advil would help with the pain and swelling, hopefully.

Next, she dragged her feet back to her room, softly closing the door. It didn't shut entirely and Bucky couldn't help but look that way, very briefly seeing her tear off her shirt through the sliver of open door. He shifted away when he noticed the view, despite his interest in possibly seeing some of her exposed skin.

When she finally emerged from her room, her hair was down and pulled into a side braid falling over her left shoulder. A big maroon cable knit sweater replaced her oversized t-shirt, draping over the black leggings on her legs and her socks matched again. She paused briefly and ducked back into the room, then exited again, wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball hat.

She pushed a pair of Wayfarer sunglasses over her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. "Does this hide my swollen face enough?"

Bucky tilted his head as he looked at her, his lips turning up into a half smile. "Yes."

Avery rolled her neck from side to side then motioned to the door. She had slept fairly well, considering her late night nausea and pained forehead. In fact, she was sad to admit she had one of the best sleeps in the last few months. She had woken up once in the middle of the night - from a bad dream.

Actually, an extension of her bad reality.

In the dream, she was exactly where she had been only hours earlier. Backed up against that pick-up truck, Charlie breathing down her neck, hands locking her in place. As she moved in the dream, trying to escape him, her arms were like bricks. She yelled but nothing came out of her mouth. His laughter echoed through her ears, taunting her, indulging in his power. But, just as the dream version of herself was going to give up and give in, someone was grabbing Charlie from behind and throwing him across the parking lot. When her dream self looked up to see who it was, all she could focus on was his shining silver hand. Bucky...

Of course she had woken up right after, her eyes flying open and her hand reaching for her bruised eyebrow. The pain was still radiating and she suffered through - it was still dark out and she didn't want to chance the return of her stomach nauseous by getting out of bed.

She eventually fell back asleep but her dreams never returned her to that moment again.

As they quietly walked away from the apartment building, she tried _really_ hard not to think about that dream and what her subconscious might be telling her.

Bucky had helped her get home safely. Clearly her brain was manifesting that into some hero complex in her dreamstate. That was it.

The fact that Bucky showed up outside her door to check on her moments after she woke up was just coincidence. That fact that looking at him - dressed in a plain grey henley, dark jeans and growing stubble across his jaw - made her almost salivate didn't mean anything other than the fact that she was dehydrated. She hardly knew the guy - she had to stop thinking about him in any sense outside of them being neighbours or friends.

Bucky didn't ask where they were going for breakfast, he just walked alongside her in silence. He was surprised when she paused outside of a McDonalds a few blocks away.

"Sorry if you were expecting something organic or homemade," she said, pulling the door open. He grabbed it with his hand and let her walk in ahead of him. "But an extra large sweet tea and hashbrowns is my secret hangover cure."

He laughed at her commentary as he followed behind her to a large ordering screen. Her fingers moved across the screen quickly as she put her order together.

"What would you like? It's on me. I feel like I owe you considering you got me into bed safely last night."

Bucky looked at the screen ahead of him and narrowed his eyes at his options. He wasn't much for fast food - mainly due to lack of exposure over time. After a mission last year, Sam had forced him into a McDonalds when he realized Bucky had never eaten a Big Mac before.

"I'll just have whatever you're getting. But maybe with a coffee instead of the tea."

Ten minutes later, they were sliding into a weathered yellow booth in the back of the restaurant. Avery slid the tray down in between them, quickly dividing their provisions. She took a long sip of her tea then let out a breath, leaning back against the hard booth padding.

"So," Bucky grabbed one of the hashbrowns off the tray and ripped off a piece, popping it into his mouth. "How's your stomach today?"

Avery took off her sunglasses and tossed them onto the table, letting out a quiet groan. Her cheeks flushed pink. "I still can't believe I threw up last night. With you standing like five feet away."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, doll," Bucky said with a wave of his hand. "You held your own pretty well all night."

She let out a quick huff, reaching out to unwrap the breakfast sandwich sitting in front of her. "Yeah, well, after what happened with Charlie, I'm not sure I would have made it home safely without you. So really, I can't thank you enough."

Bucky noticed her face fall, ever so slightly, as she brought up his name. Last night, she seemed to easily brush off what happened in the parking lot. But, he could tell it was still bothering her. Hell, it was bothering him.

"Can I ask you about that? About what happened?"

She looked down. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Fair enough," Bucky nodded. "Sorry for asking."

"It's just.." Avery started to double back. "Shit." Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt her phone vibrating in her purse. She reached down and dug it out, seeing DAD on the caller ID.

"Do you mind if I take this? If I don't answer he'll assume I'm dead."

Bucky smirked and nodded, waving his hand towards the phone. "Of course."

She smiled and brought the phone up to her ear. "Hey dad."

"Hi sunshine," her dad's voice boomed through the phone. Avery winced at the noise, pulling her phone slightly away from her ear. Her dad's powerful tone was not helping her powerful headache. "Just wanted to check in and see how you are. Did you end up seeing Nash and the boys last night?"

"I did, yes," she leaned back, closing her eyes as she replied. "We had a fun night. I even got to meet Luke's new girlfriend."

"Is she dumb as bricks like the last one?"

"Dad, c'mon, that's not fair," Avery paused. "She was perfectly nice."

"Nice doesn't get into medical school, honey." She laughed at her dad's commentary. "And how is that Porter kid?"

Avery closed her eyes, leaning forward onto the table. She rested her head in her free hand. "Charlie is..the same as always." That was the most diplomatic way she could describe him. "But listen Dad, I'll call you back tonight, okay? I'm just out for breakfast with a friend."

"Oh, I'm happy to hear that, Avery," her dad replied. She hated his tone - it was a weird implication that Avery didn't have many friends and he was grateful she wasn't just alone in the city. She would hate to agree that it was true - she didn't have many friends. She had tried to reconnect with people when she reappeared but it had been incredibly difficult. Time and time again, she always found herself feeling bitter and angry that some of her old college friends were pursuing their dreams while she was five years behind.

They said goodbye and hung up a few moments later. Avery put her phone away and grabbed her sandwich, taking a small bite.

"About that Charlie guy, I think-

"Bucky, I don't want to talk about it."

He shook his head. "I know, sorry. It's not about him. I just..want to know the reasoning behind you deciding to use your head as a battering ram into him."

Avery wanted to defend herself but the playful grin on his face made her smile, not sneer like she normally might. She let out a sigh, taking another sip of her drink. "It was kind of stupid, wasn't it?"

Bucky stifled his grin and nodded. "Yes. I mean, it worked out for you but damn, you could have passed out and if he didn't run off.."

"I know," she said quietly, shaking her head. "My other option would have been to aim right between his legs, I guess. But I couldn't move my legs so.." Her mind flashed back to Charlie's weight pressed against her, his leg locked between hers. She closed her eyes, trying to forget about it.

"I really hope there isn't a next time," Bucky started slowly, "But if there is, next time, you should try throwing off his balance in a different way. Hook him behind the knee or…" He titled his head a bit, thinking back to her positioning last night and what kind of advice he could give.

"Do you get stuck in a lot of situations like I did?" Avery joked, rolling her eyes. She supposed she should be grateful for the advice but what was she going to do with that information now.

"I just have experience," he said simply. Not that he could get into the details about his extensive defense training. "I could teach you a few things, if you want. So you might feel more prepared next time…"

It was a risky suggestion. But, deep down, Bucky knew it might be helpful to him dealing with those confusing feelings. He wanted to protect her, in a way. And by teaching her some self defense moves, she could protect _herself_ a bit better, at least.

Avery met his eyes across the table. She was almost startled as she looked at them - crisp blue and especially honest. How could his eyes do that? Like they vouched for him - like she could trust him and believe him. She bit into the hashbrown waiting for her on the tray between them then tilted her head, contemplating.

"What kind of experience?" She didn't know much about this guy, her new friend Bucky. Metal arm, honest eyes, leather jacket. "What do you do for work, anyway? Maybe I should check your references before I let you educate me on self-defense."

He smirked, running his thumbs across the paper coffee cup in his hands. He hadn't thought about how to answer this yet. His brain was screaming at him to _tell the truth_ and explain himself, who he _was_ , who he used to be. But, every other part of him seemed to slowly stack a wall around those thoughts.

_I'm a former trained assassin. I work with the Avengers, now. I can take down a room of threats in minutes…_

"I work for a private security firm," he said slowly. That wasn't entirely a lie. In a sense, the work they were mandated was _like_ incredibly high level security. They were responsible for helping alleviate national and international security threats, afterall. "I've been doing it for a long time. I can show you some basics so you never have to headbutt someone like Charlie _fucking_ Porter ever again."

Avery laughed at his choice of words. She suddenly remembered rambling on about Charlie the night before. As her smile faded away, she thought about the offer.

She liked the idea of spending more time with him. And maybe getting to know him better. And, well, she supposed learning some self-defense tactics along the way wasn't a bad thing.

"Okay, I will take you up on that offer, then." She brought her hand up to rub the bridge of her nose. "When do we start?"

"How about tomorrow night?" Bucky suggested. "Only if your headache is gone and you're feeling better. Don't want something else to happen to your head, doll."

She smiled. It was nice of him to kind of care about her well-being. "Okay, tomorrow night it is. Thanks Bucky."

* * *

When Avery got to her desk Monday morning, there was a small envelope sitting on her keyboard. She picked it up and glanced over at Heidi who was just settling in - a confused look on her face.

"Must have been dropped there before I got here," Heidi said to her with a shrug.

Avery dropped her purse down on her chair and tore open the envelope. As she unfolded the paper inside, a Starbucks gift card fell out.

"Huh," she said quietly, reading over the document. It was a simple thank you letter from the desk of William Simon.

_Avery, thank you for joining me on those site visits. I appreciate your flexibility._

That was it. She extended her hand over the cubicle divider, showing it to Heidi.

"Latte's on you this afternoon, I guess," Heidi smirked at her, leaning back in her chair. "Hey, how was your weekend? Is that a bruise on your forehead?"

Avery moved her purse then fell into her chair, turning on her computer. "It was fine. The bruise is a long story."

"Well, luckily we sit here all day long, so we have time," Heidi laughed in response, reaching to stretch out her arms above her head. As they began to work, more data entry and reporting, Avery told her most of the details of her Saturday night and Sunday. She left out a few things, like Bucky's arm and her past with Charlie. Heidi had plenty of advice to give and commentary as she told the story.

Heidi's biggest commentary when the story was over was simple: Bucky was into Avery.

"I honestly don't think he is," Avery protested, clicking through a spreadsheet. "In fact, I think he might have a boyfriend."

Heidi shifted in her seat and looked back at her friend. "Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe he's bi, who knows. I'm just going to place a bet now that you and this guy are going to bone."

"Please, don't say bone."

"You were just telling me a few weeks ago you haven't had sex since before the blip or whatever we're calling it these days," Heidi responded to her, wearing her normal _know-it-all_ face. "That's like six years and a couple months, you know."

"No, for us it's like a year and a half. You know I hate arguing about this timeline shit," Avery said back to her, turning her chair to meet her eyes over their desks. "And I told you that in confidence! I don't like having my everlong _dry spell_ used against me in an argument!"

Suddenly, a loud coughing noise interrupted their playful argument. Avery's eyes grew wide as she turned in her chair. Standing in front of their desks _again_ was William Simon.

Avery wanted to die.

How long had he been within earshot to hear them talking about her sex life?

"Mr. Simon, good morning," Avery stuttered out, slowly turning her chair towards him. She could hear Heidi stifling her laughter behind her computer screen.

He smiled at her awkwardly, skipping the pleasantries. "Avery, I was wondering if you were available to assist with taking notes again for me today."

"Oh, is Roberta still off sick?" He had filled her in about his assistant during their ride to the construction site last week.

"She's in the office today," he said with a nod, "But I want to transition her to strictly administrative duties. If you're willing to help out with site visits and reporting for me, I'll discuss adjusting your job responsibilities with Trevor."

Avery looked at him, with an unintentional confused look washing across her face. All she did was take notes and photographs for him while they visited a big project last week. She was surprised she had left enough of an impact to warrant a shift in her job.

"Can I talk to you alone for a moment?" William asked. Avery nodded and followed him down the hall, crossing her arms. "I know this seems sudden but in your notes you sent after our visit last week, you made a note about a few safety hazards I never would have caught. Neither would Roberta or any of the assistants. If we had been audited by the city, we would have been _fucked_."

Avery was surprised at his tone. "You told me to take notes about everything on site and -

"Oh, I'm not mad," he crossed his arms, creasing the arms of his suit. "I'm impressed, Avery. Those are things I don't have the time to catch and I'm grateful you did. So, I want you with me during all site visits and inspections moving forward. What do you say?"

When Avery got home after work that evening, she felt a strange sense of confidence. She sort of got a promotion at work without even realizing it. Sure, it didn't come with any increase in pay but she did get a new company jacket and a boot allowance. Plus, less time trapped at a desk.

She still wasn't sure what exactly her future looked like in regards to her career but for the time being, she could try to tolerate her job a bit more.

She stopped and picked up a salad on her way home - it was overpriced and probably not worth it, but she hadn't done a lot of grocery shopping. She was determined not to be the type of New Yorker who ordered in all the time, especially when she had a full kitchen, but after her last cooking incident, she still wasn't feeling kitchen confident.

When she had parted ways with Bucky at her apartment door Sunday morning, he said he would come by after dinner Monday and see how she was feeling. And if she was up for it, they'd go through her first self-defense lesson. She wasn't sure what exactly that was going to entail but she was feeling kind of nervous. And excited. But, definitely nervous.

After she finished her dinner and successfully did her plant rotation for the week, she changed into a pair of joggers, a sports bra and a white cut off ARMY training shirt. She wasn't sure how physical things were going to get with whatever Bucky was going to teach her, but she figured she may as well be somewhat comfortable.

Then she just waited. She sat down on her couch, legs crossed, scrolling through her phone. She occasionally watched the door, thinking she might have heard approaching footsteps. But, Bucky never showed up.

As the hours passed, she grew more and more disappointed. She knew she shouldn't but she had kind of been looking forward to seeing him again, even if it was just for him to lecture her on proper safety techniques and self-defense. She hated that she let herself get so excited for something so silly - maybe he forgot or something else came up.

Part of her wanted to go up to his apartment but she wasn't sure which it was - Steve did mention he lived above her noisey upstairs neighbours. But if his interest had shifted, would showing up at his door seem..weird?

They hadn't exchanged phone numbers so she couldn't text him. So, that was it.

She sighed and pulled down the blanket from the top of her couch, stretching out her legs and throwing on whatever movie presented itself first on StarkStream. Then she laid there, staring into the screen, sadness creeping in. The confidence of her job change and the excitement of seeing Bucky, seeing a _friend_ , disappeared into the night sky.

* * *

Bucky, Sam and Steve were sitting around the large boardroom table in their Manhattan Avengers facility. A few empty coffee cups littered the desk, which was covered in various tattered file folders and boxes. On the transparent screen above them was a map and a few rotating mugshots, a compilation of all their research into their current case.

"I don't know, there is still something missing here. If we've found these same weapons across various continents-

"How are they getting there?" Sam finished Steve's though, leaning back in his chair. "I've been thinking about the same thing. I guess if we can determine the manufacturing site, we can trace them from there."

Bucky sighed, tipping the last of his cup of coffee into his mouth. "Except we've only hit dead ends."

"I'm still doubtful that the warehouse in Atlanta was the only place using this Sleytium stuff."

"Well, Bruce traced its origins to Tasmania but that gun we found was a synthetic duplicate."

"Hey, sorry to interrupt." The three men turned their heads to see Sharon at the door, a concerned look on her face. "King T'Challa is on his open comm line looking to speak to you, Cap."

Steve glanced between Sam and Bucky then stood up, meeting Sharon at the door. "I'll take it in my office."

Bucky shuffled through a few more of the files in front of him then gave up, stretching his neck and leaning forward onto his arms.

"How's apartment girl?" Sam shifted slightly in his chair and leaned onto one of the arms, smirking at Bucky. He received an eye roll in response.

"Her name is Avery," Bucky said, turning his head to Sam. "I'm not sure what kind of information you're digging for."

"C'mon man, you walked her home and then what?"

Before Bucky could find a quip to respond to Sam, Steve was hurrying back into the room. "Wakanda needs an assist. They've had a few rebels infiltrate one of their new settlements and could use support. Clint is still on domestic only duty and Wanda is dealing with that seismic shift over near Hawaii - can you two go?"

Sam and Bucky both knew Steve's ask wasn't really a question - it was a friendly way to order them to suit up. Minutes later, they were heading towards the locker room, listening as Steve briefed them on what had been going on so far. It wasn't until Bucky was in his full tactical suit, powering up their jet when Avery crossed his mind again. He tried not to feel bad about what was about to happen - he wasn't going to show up at her door after dinner, even though she was expecting him. It would take a few hours to get to Wakanda then they weren't sure what their timeline was going to be like. He shook his head and focused on the control panel in front of him as Sam strapped into the seat beside him.

He wished he could at least send her a text to reschedule or something. But, as he lifted the plane and took off, he shifted his thoughts. He had a mission to work on and if he didn't have his head 100% on the task, he could risk the safety of himself, Sam and anyone else involved.

Hopefully Avery would be understanding.

Sam reached over and knocked him on the arm. "You ready, man?"

* * *

"You ready, sweetie?"

Avery stretched her legs out ahead of her on the plush rug of Beatrice's apartment. She was sprawled out on the floor playing with her cat Wallace. The grey tabby was feeling especially playful that Friday morning and it brought a smile to Avery's face.

Looking back, she wasn't sure how her Friday morning tradition of having brunch with Beatrice had started. One day Bea knocked on Avery's door, embarrassed to be asking for help with her TV set up. The old woman had grumbled that she tried to video chat with her grandson but he had been no help. In exchange for the assistance, she had offered Avery a bowl of homemade soup for lunch.

They had been fast friends since that morning.

Avery supposed they both had something to gain from their arrangement - mainly companionship. But Bea regaled Avery with all her old stories about growing up on the West Coast, how she moved to the city to be with her husband. How her kids all moved across the world but she fell in love with New York and couldn't bear to leave now. They didn't talk much about her ex-husband Harold and his new wife in Florida.

She offered advice to Avery occasionally - some good, some helpful, some she took with a grain of salt. But it was nice to have someone to spend time with, even if it was just to watch daytime television together. Plus, she liked getting to cuddle with Wallace the cat.

"Ready," Avery replied, pulling herself up to stretch out on the couch. "I'm praying it's a Plinko day."

Bea smiled in response, pulling a tray of fresh banana muffins out of the oven. She left them to cool down and walked towards the living room. She didn't get too far before she heard some noise in the hallway.

Avery turned her head to listen, too. It sounded like someone saying her name.

Across the hall, in front of 509, Bucky was knocking on Avery's door. He and Sam had gotten home from their mission yesterday, but between the debrief and reporting, he didn't get back to his place until _late_. He slept in that morning (well, sleeping in usually meant he got up around 8AM) and had waited a few hours before coming down to knock on her door. He could have sworn he remembered Avery saying she had Fridays off so he was hoping he could talk to her and apologize about his disappearance. Steve had told him to take a day off and decompress, anyway.

Not that Avery owed him anything. But he was hoping he could explain himself, at least.

After he knocked again, calling out her name into the doorframe, he heard the door open. Only, it was the door across the hall. 510.

"I'm not home," Avery called to get his attention, leaning on the doorframe to Bea's apartment.

Bucky turned around swiftly, finding Avery smirking at him.

"Avery," he took a step towards her, his eyes narrowing for a moment. "Your hair is different." He meant to ask her how she was or start his explanation but for some reason, the first thing he felt compelled to comment on was her new brown hair.

She pressed her lips into a smile at his comment, letting out a laugh. "The blonde was bothering me." Her fingers moved through her now very chestnut coloured hair as it sat on her shoulders in waves. She hadn't had a good week and for some reason, during her frustrated walk home from the subway Wednesday night, she stopped at Walgreens and bought hair dye. The blonde was old, really. It reminded her of her old life, her lost life. It reminded her of Seth and how he preferred her hair lighter.

Bucky liked the brunette colour in her hair. Hell, he was sure he'd probably be a fan of any colour hair she wanted. He shook his head and swallowed his thoughts. He was sure she did not care about his opinion on her hair.

"Listen, I'm really sorry I didn't come by earlier this week. I had a last minute work trip."

Avery just shook her head and held up a hand to cut him off. "It's fine, really. Last weekend was a bit of a mess and it was really nice of you to offer to help me out anyway but you don't have to apologize." She wasn't sure how to say the words out loud: _you don't owe me an explanation and you don't owe me a follow up._ She went through an irritating amount of emotions about it all week and she had concluded that her friendship that had been building with Bucky was just that: a friendship.

Even if he had been appearing in her dreams all _fucking_ week.

Bucky didn't mean to read her body language as she stood in front of him, dismissing his apology. But it was built into his mainframe after all these years - he could easily narrow in and focus on every little feature of whomever he was tracking, analyzing, scoping out for information. But he could see it in her eyes - disappointment, maybe a bit of apprehension and doubt. There was also something else - curiosity, playfulness.

"If you'd like, we can still go over some self-defense moves or -

Bucky was cut off before he could even finish his offer. An older woman appeared behind Avery at the door - short white hair, oversized glasses, heavy jewelry complimenting her pastel cardigan. She smiled at him then turned to Avery.

"May as well invite your friend in to join us, dear," she said, reaching her hand out to Bucky.

"Oh, I'm certain he has better things to do than watch The Price is Right with us, Bea," Avery said quickly, meeting Bucky's eyes.

He was a bit annoyed with her additional dismissal but as Bea grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, he felt he couldn't protest. "I don't have much else going on, actually." He raised his eyebrows playfully towards Avery and followed Bea in towards the living room. He smiled towards the older woman as he took a seat on the far side of the couch. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Beatrice is fine, young man," Bea said. "How do we feel about banana muffins?"

Avery joined him on the other side of the couch, legs crossed under her. Neither of them replied to Beatrice but she came back and placed a plate with muffins across from them on the coffee table.

"She'll yell if we don't eat these," Avery leaned forward and grabbed two, offering one to Bucky. He took it from her with a smile, tearing a piece off the top.

So, there they sat. Bucky and Avery and Beatrice, watching the entirety of The Price is Right.

It was clear to Bucky that this was something they did often. There was a very real sense of comfort and familiarity in the rapport between Avery and Beatrice - they shared in their analysis of the unusual games and shared inside jokes about things he didn't really pick up on. He enjoyed hearing their silly cheers and guesses at the end of the show, droning on about what they would do with a full set of bedroom furniture if they were to win a _showcase_ or whatever the phrase was.

He was quiet, mostly. He answered the questions Bea asked of him during the commercials, insisting she call him James instead of young man. He let her cat climb all over him and he felt a sense of contentment when the small creature napped on his lap. It was a far cry from his intense week in Wakanda and he was grateful for the sense of serenity.

"Well," Beatrice stood slowly from her chair as the episode ended, carrying her mug to the kitchen. "I better get downstairs to meet Caroline for book club. She spoiled the ending last time for me, you know."

"And the time before that," Avery replied to her as she stood off the couch. Bucky followed her towards the door. "Sounds like one more strike and you guys need to kick her out of the club, Bea."

"Well, she does usually make afternoon sangria for us," Bea continued on, shrugging as she patted Avery on the back. "Same time next week?"

Avery smiled and turned to give her a hug. "Of course. But let me know if you need me to do a grocery run this weekend. Seriously."

"I know, I know," the older woman insisted, nodding her head. "Thanks, dear. And it was nice to meet you, James."

"Thank you for the muffins, ma'am." He smiled. "Beatrice."

"He's cute," Beatrice said as Avery opened the door, clearly loud enough for him to hear. Avery gave her wide eyes and shook her head, unable to stop the soft blushing of her cheeks.

Bucky smirked proudly as Avery avoided his eyes, shutting the door behind them as they stood in the hallway again.

"You didn't have to do that," Avery said as they took a few more steps towards her door.

His smirk remained as he stood in front of her. "I didn't mind. The muffins were worth it. I'm not sure I would have been able to say no to that woman."

Avery rolled her eyes with a laugh. "True, she's opinionated and persistent, that one. Maybe that's why we get along so well." She shrugged, then looked up to meet his eyes.

"I really am sorry about earlier this week, Avery," Bucky repeated. "What are you doing right now? We can start lesson one today."

"I have to water my plants," she scrunched her face together as she opened her door. "I know that sounds like a made up excuse but I slept in this morning and they can take a bit of upkeep if I get off schedule."

"Do you need help?"

Avery hesitated as she opened the door. Truthfully, no. She didn't need help. She had her plant care down to a science and extra hands that don't know rotation rules or how to check for dryness properly would be more of a hindrance than a help. She dreaded her trip home in July when she would have to trust Beatrice with her plants. She still contemplated if it would be irrational to take her _monstera deliciosa_ on the train with her…

Keeping up with her plants was a part of how Avery maintained control of some aspect of her life.

"I don't require assistance but you're welcome to hang out."

She motioned for him to follow her in. She was grateful she had managed to sort of tidy it in her elevated mood the night before. At least she had taken her garbage out.

Bucky took a seat on her couch, watching as she grabbed a small spray bottle and spouted bottle and carried them to her sink, filling them with water. When she came back to the living room, where most of her plants resided, she took a seat on the couch beside him and grabbed a notebook from her table. She flipped it out, running her fingers over the pages of notes.

"I didn't realize plants were this complicated," Bucky said to her as he leaned his head over to look at her pages of scribbled notes.

"I hope you're not making fun of me," she turned her head to him, her face tense. "Because if I don't take delicate care of plants like Frank, they'll perish. And I can't have that on my conscience."

"Frank?" Bucky raised his eyebrows.

Avery stood up and moved towards her window, pulling a larger almost tree-like plant out from the corner. "I had to name this one to express my feelings over it's lack of cooperation." She shot a smile at Bucky then moved her hands along the leaves of the plant. "It's a tough one but if I can care for it properly, these can outgrow the indoors. If I had a balcony, Frank would get to live outside in this East sunlight and he would thrive."

When she looked back at Bucky, she was surprised to see him actually listening to her. Like he was learning. He actually seemed interested. It was surprising. Plant care was pretty boring to most people. When she lived with Seth, he would complain about her incessant need for live plants in their apartment.

Maybe a tiny part of her adopted all these new plants out of resentment.

"Do they all have names?" Bucky motioned around to all the greenery. "What is a san - sansiv- sansevieria?" He looked down at her notebook, catching his eye on one of the plants listed as 'virtually indestructible'.

"Frank is the only one with a name from me," she moved the tree plant back to the corner and grabbed another one that was sitting on her window sill. "A _sansevieria_ is a snake plant. It actually comes from the term mother-in-law's tongue because the leaves can be a bit sharp."

Bucky looked at the plant in her hands, his eyes moving over the long stemmed leaves with dark green colouring.

"I could sit here and talk about these plants all day, if you let me ramble on," she said with an embarrassed grin on her face.

"I don't mind you rambling," he replied, shrugging. "You have a lot of passion when you talk about all these. Did you go to school for it or something?"

"Sort of," she said, returning to the couch. She placed the snake plant on the table in front of them. "My major in college was biochemistry but I had a minor in botany. I liked the concept of learning about the genetics of all these living things around us. I also had some interest in geology but honestly studying rocks and minerals is not my thing."

"Tell me the truth, was that cactus a terrible plant to give you? It doesn't seem as interesting or complicated as all this." He pointed at the notebook again.

Avery pursed her lips into a tight smile. "Cacti are incredibly low maintenance." She flipped to the last page of the book and showed him her notes for the cactus: _low light, water when bone dry, less water in winter._

"So I gave you a first grade plant even though you're at a college level?" He leaned back into the couch, a look of faux disappointment on his face. "I liked the pink flower."

Bucky continued to ask her questions as she travelled around her apartment, clipping, watering and caring for all her plants. Avery was surprised he was being so chatty - sometimes he answered in one word and let her ramble and other times he would prod for more details.

When she moved onto her plants lining her bedroom window, Bucky sat on her bed and took in the private living space. The white walls, when not draped in hanging plants, had little decoration. She had a large mirror at one end and more pillows than any person needed on the bed. Everything was white and bright.

"So," Avery turned to him and crossed her arms when all her plant mothering was finally over. "I've been thinking that yes, I would like to still learn some self-defense moves if you'll still teach me."

His eyes almost brightened as she finished talking. "Of course." He stood up and stretched out his arms. "We can start now, if you're ready?"

"Here?" She glanced around her room.

"No, I have a padded room upstairs," Bucky replied quickly. He realized his choice of words when she looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. "I mean, I have a two bedroom and one is a converted training space. Padded floors will help if you manage to actually get me on the ground." He gave her a playful smile.

"Okay, Mr. Private Security Guard or whatever. The goal is to let me try and get something out of this, remember." She let out a long sigh then pointed for him to get out of the room so she could change.

She emerged from her bedroom in plain black leggings, a sports bra and a tank top.

"You should probably wear something you might be dressed in when someone tries to attack you," Bucky said as he analyzed her outfit. Although he did like how the tight athletic leggings looked on her.

"What if I'm out for a run or coming home from the gym?" She countered, hands on her hips.

"Fair enough," he said, raising his hands in defeat. "Well, lets go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next: self-defense 101. Also, Sam finds a vintage video game system and thinks it's time for a games night.


	6. Control

Bucky's apartment on the seventh floor was similar to Avery's - just expanded. As she walked in, curious and especially nervous, her eyes swept over his home. Somehow, it felt like Bucky's home. She wasn't sure why but the small details, though few, really amplified what she already guessed about him.

He was definitely a homebody - indicated by the oversized grey sofa, low to the ground with a few large plush pillows. Behind the couch there was a large print of a vintage New York street scene. Across from it, a large dark wall unit covered the space from the window to the kitchen. In the middle was a TV, beneath it a record player and stack of vinyls, otherwise everything else was surrounded by shelves of books.

His kitchen was darker than hers - all the cabinets were slate grey with a dark marble.

This apartment stretched wider than hers did - a small hallway jutted down where Avery assumed both the bedrooms resided and storage and a bathroom.

She aimlessly wandered through the living room space, running her hands along all the books overflowing from the shelves.

"Do you want a coffee or something to drink?"

She turned to look over her shoulder as he moved around the kitchen. "I'd have a coffee. Black." She smiled and turned back to his shelves. As she made her way down the room, suddenly she realized his far window was actually a sliding door to a balcony.

"I always forget all these apartments at the top have balconies," she said, glancing out the glass doors. "I'm so jealous."

"Honestly, I don't go out there much," Bucky replied with a shrug. He watched as she gazed outwards, eyes on the city view.

"You are taking this space for granted," she turned back and met him in the kitchen. "You could have fresh herbs out there or maybe a little bistro table or a wireless speaker…" She trailed off as he extended a coffee mug to her. She nodded a thank you to him and took a long sip, then placed it down on the counter.

"So," she turned to him with a hop, clapping her hands together. Her hair, now in a ponytail instead of a bun, bounced with her. She was still nervous and wasn't sure how to contain it. "Lesson one?"

He smirked at her eagerness and took a gulp of his own mug, placing it beside hers. "Take it easy, doll. We gotta start at the beginning." He started down the hall and motioned for her to follow.

It was the master bedroom of the apartment that had been converted to an at home training space for him. In the corner there was a heavy bag hanging from the ceiling, a large weight rack beside it and opposite it a full mirrored wall. The floor was hardwood but mainly covered by practice mats, like gymnasts might use.

She waited in the middle of the room while he paused at the door, starting to pull off the zippered sweatshirt he was wearing. She saw him hesitate, glancing down at his hand. She didn't even realize he had taken his glove off. "Does, uh, the arm bother you? I can keep it covered."

Avery shook her head, the look on her face like he had asked the most absurd question. "It's just an arm." Bucky felt a sense of relief wash over him at her comfortable attitude towards his robotic appendage. He wouldn't even go gloveless at yoga anymore after unusual stares from his classmates, Josie included.

He was really grateful Avery didn't seem to care about it at all.

"It's a part of you, so why would it bother me?" She asked, rhetorically. "That's like you being offended by my sixth toe or something." She pointed her right foot towards him, smiling.

"You have six toes?" His eyebrows shot up as he looked down at her foot. It was covered by a sock so he wasn't sure what he was looking for.

"I have ten, actually." She tilted her head towards him, her smile turning into a goofy grin. She was just trying to make him feel comfortable - she really didn't care about his arm. But she had witnessed plenty of people stare awkwardly at her dad's prosthetic leg growing up so she could only imagine how Bucky's insecurities may continue to surface.

"Funny." Bucky rolled his eyes and met her where she was standing. "Whenever an attacker moves in on their target," Bucky said, planting himself in front of her with his arms crossed. "It's about a shift in control. They want to have control or take the control. Your goal is to take it back."

Avery nodded. That was easy enough to understand. Considering she had military men in her family, she was disappointed she never had a lesson like this from her brothers growing up. They were protective of her - why teach her to take care of herself when they could just deal with whoever or whatever was causing the problem instead? But she wasn't an idiot or completely defenseless. She always had a smart mouth and stood her ground.

"Let's start really, really easy," Bucky continued, uncrossing his arms. His shoulders moved like he was going to move forward but he stopped himself. "I guess, uh, I should ask you if it's okay to touch you."

Avery was almost taken aback by his statement. His face was full of apprehension as she looked up to his eyes. "Yes, you can touch me I mean, I figure that's how I'm going to learn. Let's just say as of right now, no physical contact is off limits."

Bucky wanted to make a smartass remark to follow her statement but he bit his tongue instead. Her lips turned into a cocky grin when she saw him swallowing whatever words were in his mouth.

"Okay, say you're walking down the street and someone going the opposite direction grabs your arm." He hopped over a few inches and extended his right hand to grasp onto her right wrist. "What do you do?"

"I guess I would try to pull away or dig my nails into you," Avery said, tugging her wrist. It didn't move under his grip.

"The nails might help but most people full of adrenaline have a pretty high pain tolerance," he replied with a shrug. "Here." He released her wrist and stuck his own forearm towards her. "Try to grab me the same way."

"Go easy on me here," she said with a smirk as she reached for his wrist. Her hand barely wrapped around it but she held on and looked up at him to see what was next.

"If you do this right, you can get anyone down on the ground to give yourself time to run away." His metal hand came up and grabbed hold of hers wrapped around his wrist. He used a quick thrust of momentum to swing their arms upwards to his left, locking her wrist and pushing her shoulder away. Gently, he pushed on her straightened right arm and she twisted. The force of his push, though gentle, caused her to collapse to her knees away from him.

"You alright?" He asked as he held her there.

"Yeah," she replied, craning her neck to look at him. "I can't really move though."

"That's the point," he said, applying a bit more pressure onto her arm. "If the attacker collapses, you've taken the control back and now you can book it away from him." He released her arm and helped her stand up. "Now you try."

She placed herself in front of him, letting him grab her again.

"Okay." Her brain rushed through what he had just described and she nodded, bringing her left hand up onto his right as it held her wrist.

"Now, swing up and twist," he motioned his head to the left. She looked down at his wrist then let go, shaking her head.

"I don't think this makes sense, you're taller than me."

He released her wrist, shaking his head. "Trust me, size does not matter."

She really didn't mean to but she let out a quick laugh at that comment. "That's what all you men say, huh."

Bucky grinned back at her, rolling his eyes. "I'm not like most men, doll." He grabbed her wrist. "Just try again."

Avery sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She grabbed onto his hand and did as he instructed, swinging their arms out and twisting his grip on her. Surprisingly, it worked out just as he said. His arm stiffened as he turned from her. She pushed, harder than he did, and sent him down onto a knee.

"See?" He turned and looked up at her over his shoulder.

"I think I like being in control," she commented, pushing down just a bit more on his shoulder. She didn't mean to say that out loud - mainly because she wasn't sure it was true. Before the vanishing, she felt like she was in charge of everything in her life. Graduated, just got into medical school, had a summer job lined up, a somewhat happy relationship with Seth. Then, five second later, she lost it. And she had been playing catch up with her life ever since. She hardly had control of her life now, her mind was a mess. She didn't like to think too hard about it...but if someone were to tell her what to do… She shook her head.

He chuckled then bit his lip. "I'm not going to comment on that." She released his wrist and took a step back, cheeks flushing red.

Was it getting warmer in his training room or was her mind going places she wasn't expecting?

"One more time," he said, taking a step towards her. This time when he grabbed her wrist, she reacted much quicker. He was down on one knee again in just a few seconds.

"There you go," he said with a proud smirk as he stood up again. "Do you feel okay about that?"

Avery nodded, miming the motions and repeating the steps to herself again. "Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, doing it here with you in a controlled environment is one thing..."

"Listen, most of the time when someone gets attacked, there's a real fight or flight thing going on in their head - it'll pulse through your body. But in all these instances, an attacker wants to overpower your _flight_ impulse. So you've gotta kinda convince yourself to just do it and not think."

"Where did you learn all this anyway?" she asked, a curious look painted on her face.

Bucky stiffened just briefly then exhaled. "My old employer." Avery watched his jaw shift as he swallowed, then pushed his tongue onto his lip with a bite. "I had a lot of training, some I never really wanted but it's kind of ingrained in me now."

She went over his words, a bit confused by the statement.

He brushed it off and continued. "Okay, onto the next move. What do you do if someone grabs your hair?"

"My hair?"

"Yes. If someone came up behind you and grabbed your hair, pulling you down to the ground or to throw you in whatever direction they want. It's quick, usually unexpected. Makes the person jolt, lose their sense of self for a moment." As someone who used to have long hair, Bucky had definitely had his pulled before - thrown down in combat.

Before Avery could comment, Bucky's right hand was gripping her ponytail from behind. He pulled slightly, enough to cause discomfort and make his presence known.

Avery _did not_ mean to let out a throaty whimper as he pulled her hair - she really, truly didn't. But given her dry spell and internalized desire to actually lose control, the tug he gave her hair rushed a wave of arousal through her. It was a jolt of pleasure she hadn't felt in a long time and she really, really didn't mean to whimper. She hoped it wasn't audible to Bucky but when he suddenly let up his grip slightly, she worried he might have.

She was incredibly grateful he was behind her so he couldn't see her red cheeks or how she was biting her lip. Although just as that thought crossed her mind, she realized they were standing opposite his mirrored wall. She met his eyes in the mirror, then closed hers quickly.

"I feel like I might immediately just try to pull away," she said in a rush, taking a small step forward. This, of course, just made him pull on it again. She swallowed her whimper that time.

"Reach back and grab hold of my wrist," Bucky said quietly. His free hand, the metal one, helped guide her hands to his wrist that was helping grasp her hair. "Harder." He instructed her to grip tighter. "Now, pull my wrist over you, then you can step back, pivot and run."

She did as he said. He released her hair as his wrist turned. "How did that feel?"

Avery nodded quickly, swallowing hard. Was it obvious her body was having a fucking physical reaction to this?

"It was good," she stuttered out. "I mean, that made sense, like the execution of it."

"Again?"

She reset her stance beside him, staring into the mirror. He locked his eyes with hers through their reflection and reached up to grip onto her ponytail again.

Bucky's curiosity was truly getting the best of him and he was almost feeling guilty about it. The tiny noise she had released when he grabbed her hair before made him shiver and he didn't know what to do about it. But he wanted to hear it again.

He had been wrestling with his thoughts for the past few weeks, ever since his path crossed Avery's. He was attracted to her, that was true enough. But there was something else about it - something wistful.

When he came out of his cryogenic state the first time, when he was a robotic assassin for HYDRA, his mind was controlled and his directives were clear. He wasn't a human, but a machine. He didn't have feelings or desires aside from what was programmed into him.

When he finally had a chance to breathe and experience his emotions again, after returning from Wakanda and dealing with the aftermath of the battle with Thanos, it was an incredibly confusing time. He had Steve, ever patient and loving Steve. Someone he could have at his side for the rest of his life. But he had dated around for a few months, getting certain _urges_ out of his system. Then, he dialed back. Focused on himself, on his relationship with Steve, on his job, on staying low and out of sight.

Sex and those _urges_ didn't cross his mind often anymore.

But now, with Avery, it was all coming back to him in a rush. And it was challenging to deal with.

As he gripped her ponytail and pulled again, slightly. Their eyes were still locked in the mirror and she swallowed hard. Then, controlling herself this time she immediately grabbed him, twisted and pulled away. She took a few steps back and caught her breath, looking away from him.

"Did I hurt you?" Bucky turned and stepped towards her.

She shook her head rapidly. "No, no, I'm fine."

Avery could not believe the way her body was betraying her - she tried to crush the thoughts racing through her mind about Bucky and his grip of her ponytail and his comments about control and…

She took a deep breath and closed in the space between herself and Bucky. "Can we try that one more time?"

Just as Bucky's arm started to raise, an especially playful smile crossing his lips, a noise distracted them both. A ringing phone.

"Shit," he muttered out, pulling his arm back and hurrying towards the living room.

Bucky cursed, quietly, to himself as he saw Steve's name on his phone. He picked it up off of the kitchen counter and brought it to his ear. "Steve, hey."

"Hey, sorry to bother you on your day off, Buck."

"Never a bother," Bucky replied, leaning against the counter.

"I just wanted to ask you about a few of your debrief notes from this week. Why you insist on writing them by hand is beyond me, especially with your chicken scratch…"

Avery closed her eyes when Bucky hurried out of the room, taking a few deep breaths. "What are you doing, Avery?" She mumbled to herself.

This was not what was supposed to be happening. This was just supposed to be self-defense lessons. This was her neighbour doing her a kind favour. This was not supposed to awaken _something_ so strong inside her. She had already been thinking about the guy all the time and now this?

She scrubbed her hand along her jaw and walked towards the mirrored wall, looking over her reflection. She didn't expect any of this - especially the heated feelings. And what was she even thinking assuming he would be interested in her? She was still uncertain if he was dating Steve and if he was, she was getting strange mixed signals. If Bucky was in a relationship, his attention could only be platonic.

She didn't know how to figure this kind of shit out anymore.

She didn't have any serious boyfriends in high school. In college, she had a lot of fun. A lot. But then Jeremy died and she was a mess. Life was a mess. Then she met Seth and up until the snap, that was it. Seth was her future, despite their constant arguments and somewhat misaligned morals.

Sometimes, despite the anger she still felt from her life being flipped around, she knew everything that happened might have been a blessing. She was bitter about Seth, but, although it was hard to admit, maybe not being together now was okay. Maybe it gave her a reason to give into the doubts she had been wrestling with and start again.

She wasn't sure how to date or read if someone was flirting. Bucky was really playful and she played right back. But did that mean anything?

She glanced at her reflection, turning her body sideways to analyze.

Bucky was attractive - without a doubt. Steely eyes. Square jaw. Naturally messy hair. He was tall, strong, and she could only imagine what he might look like without a shirt. And maybe without his pants.

And truthfully, his metal arm…

But Avery, looking over her figure, had doubts. Her legs were strong, sure. She played soccer for years, she kept up with her brothers when they ran and trained, she tried to keep active still now - mainly for the sake of her mind. She had hips, wider than what society wanted her to have. Her stomach wasn't flat, her thighs weren't perfectly toned. She had curves, her waist pulled in enough to give her an okay silhouette.

Her appearance was fine enough, clearly. Charlie Porter wanted her, at least. And Seth told her she was beautiful, or he used to.

Maybe her mother's nagging voice still crept in more often than she wanted about how she needed to present herself for a man.

She sighed. She hated the mental anguish she was giving to herself, just because she was having some new feelings about one person, her mind went into overdrive with uncertainties.

"Hey, how do you feel about going to grab a late lunch?" She turned to see Bucky standing at the door frame, pulling on his sweatshirt again. "We can finish this lesson after. If you want."

She wondered how long he had stood there watching her.

She smiled, nodding. "Sure, I could use the fresh air."

Half an hour later, Bucky and Avery were sitting at a small table outside _Ronnie's Place_ , a sandwich shop a few blocks south of their apartment complex. Despite her protests, he paid for her meatball sub and pink lemonade spritzer.

"So," Avery finished the bite of her sandwich and put it down on the foil wrapper. "How was your work trip?"

He swallowed the bite in his mouth and shrugged. "It was alright, pretty fast paced this week."

There wasn't much else to say. There has been a surge of civil unrest in Wakanda and it had made him feel quite sad while he was there. His time spent in their grassy fields, learning from their people, had been the most cathartic part of his healing. Now, returning to try and help with peacekeeping, he had a hard time seeing the unhappiness and doubt some villagers had in their leadership.

"Where'd you have to go?"

Bucky liked that she was asking questions and trying to keep up a conversation with him. He liked talking to her. But, he couldn't really give her any real details.

"I was in.. Washington." He said with a nod. "There was a foreign leader who needed some extra support. I can't really say anything else about it."

She nodded her head, understanding. "Do you travel for work a lot?"

He scrunched up his face to think, taking a sip of his lemonade. "Depends on the month. Our firm has a big enough team that we share a lot of last minute projects but there are times when Sam and I are gone for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes it's planned, sometimes it's not."

Avery nodded again. She was surprised he was speaking so freely about it, although clearly he was leaving out some details. Whatever it meant when working for a private security firm.

"What about you though? Don't most office jobs operate Monday to Friday?"

She laughed at his question, picking at her sandwich. "I'm about a year into an employment grant which guarantees 32 hours of work so I'm only required to be there four days a week."

"At a construction company?"

She nodded, happy he had remembered some details she had told him previously.

Bucky paused to think for a second. "That doesn't seem related to biochemistry."

"Oh, it's not. But, Post-Blip, I needed a quick income source to cover my rent. It's funny, I only took the job as something interim and I always intended to find something more related to my field. But, well…"

How was she supposed to say her sad brain stopped her from trying to job search most days? What words would she use to describe her lack of motivation to do anything after work, especially during the long winter months?

"I sort of just got a promotion at work, actually," she continued on as Bucky ate. "Which was unexpected. But it gets me out of the office sometimes."

"That sounds pretty nice?" He said as he finished off his sandwich. "I mean, I had a hard time transitioning to this life after everything happened. But it must be nice to have some normal routine with your job."

They continued to sit there and talk long after their sandwiches were finished and their drink cups empty. Avery brought up one of the books she had spotted on his shelf, an anthology of Shakespeare's sonnets. Maybe it wasn't a fair judgement but she didn't take Bucky for the poetry type. But, once she asked him about his favourite sonnet, it was his turn to ramble on.

Bucky didn't do great in school but he loved to read. That was always evident. Mathematics weren't his strong suit and science he could not even pretend to care about. But his English classes, where writing and scribing and reading were the focus, was something he actually enjoyed. Perhaps it came from the fact that his mother loved to write so much. One of his long lost possessions was one of her old notebooks. It had resided in his old locker on his first base, but it would have been long gone by now.

Avery told him how much she didn't care for poetry until she had to study Robert Frost in her twelfth grade English class. Of course she knew _The Road Not Taken_ and _Nothing Gold Can Stay_ (she loved The Outsiders growing up) but it really changed her opinion on that sort of written word. Poetry changed from boring, in her mind, to inspiring and beautiful. She insisted he look up _Wind and Window Flower_.

It was the end of the afternoon when they got back to their apartment complex. It was as if they had sat and talked for hours. It felt like a moment where they could call it a day and part ways but Avery sort of wanted to continue whatever this hanging out was.

Bucky did, too.

"Did you want to go through a few more defense moves?" He asked as they climbed up the stairs. She nodded as they swept past her floor and continued onto the top of the stairwell.

Of course, as soon as they got back into his training room, her brain raced back to their last moment together in their. _His hand reaching to pull her ponytail again, eyes locked together._

"I know you wanted to go through the basics, but can we skip ahead?" She hopped excitedly - nervously? - again, meeting his playful eyes as he took off his sweatshirt once more.

"What do you think you need to know?" Bucky asked as he met her in the middle of the room, crossing his arms.

"Well, the other night, Charlie basically had me pinned against that truck, legs locked. Aside from headbutting him, what else could I have done?"

She would never admit it, but the question was a bit baiting on purpose. Maybe she wanted him to press her against a wall...just to see how it felt.

His eyes narrowed briefly as he thought about her question. Logically, yes, he should tell her exactly how to get out of that situation. But, the look on her face, though she was trying to mask it, told him this was not _just_ about him teaching her anymore.

"Okay, we can jump to that, I guess," Bucky finally agreed, nodding his head. "But if this gets to be too much, you have to say something, okay?"

Avery met his eyes with a nod. "Okay."

"If you end up cornered like that," Bucky started towards the far wall of the room, opposite the mirrors. He pressed himself against the wall and Avery followed, facing him. "Put your hand on my shoulder."

Avery did as he said, reaching up slightly and using her right hand to push against his left shoulder.

"If whoever is attacking you only has one hand on you, so you're not entirely restricted, you've gotta focus and use your other arm. Like this." He raised his right arm, folding it and delivering his elbow upwards slowly towards her face. He didn't make any impact as he showed her the example. "An elbow should be enough of a blow to stun him and throw off his balance. Then you can slide away, maybe kick at his knees for good measure, then run away."

Avery nodded again.

"Okay, let's try it." He grabbed onto her shoulders and quickly turned them so they switched spots. "So, if I were to come at you like this.."

Bucky used his right arm to grip onto her left shoulder, tilting his head down to look at her. She wiggled briefly then brought up her other arm like he did, pretending to knock him in the face with her elbow.

"Easy enough," she said quietly.

"And keeps your skull safe from impact," he said with a smirk.

"Hah, hah." She rolled her eyes at his comment, tilting her head. "My head survived, okay?"

Bucky locked his eyes with her as he smiled.

His damn honest eyes.

"Now, if they were to put two hands on you," Bucky spoke slowly as his hands moved up towards her shoulders again. "Your goal is to use your hands to find a weak finger and try to break it."

"I don't think I could break someone's finger," she replied to him quickly, aggressively shaking her head.

"If someone is going for your shoulders next they're going for your neck." He pressed his hands onto her shoulders, continuing his lecture. "Fight or flight, Avery. If you try to run away, it's going to hurt you even more. So, you've gotta fight back."

His hands could easily grip onto her shoulders. Bucky was extra careful to control his strength as he grabbed her. It was actually a bit of a challenge, he was constantly reminding himself to hold back.

Feeling the pressure of Bucky on her shoulders, Avery tensed up. But she kind of liked it. Not because it hurt, per se, but because she wasn't in control of the situation.

She laughed to herself, out loud, thinking about how stupid that was. He was supposed to be teaching her how to take the control back yet she kind of didn't want to have it anyway.

She should have just gone back to her apartment after their late lunch and afternoon together. She should have not got lost in his eyes as she rambled on about his favourite sonnet or how he was searching for a first edition of _The Hobbit_. She should not have let her body nearly melt into a puddle when he crouched down to pet a small French Bulldog when they paused at a crosswalk, saying hello to the small creature in a playful voice.

And she sure as hell should not be thinking about how his hands might feel gripping her hips, instead of her shoulders.

"What's so funny?" Bucky raised an eyebrow, his smile playful as he looked into her eyes. He pulled his hands away from her shoulders.

"Nothing," she said, pursing her lips together. Her brain needed to stop. She needed to focus. "Let's try it."

Bucky cautiously returned his hands to her, then moved them towards her neck. "Grab for my hands with yours," he instructed, motioning his head to her side. "No one can evenly distribute their pressure so one of my fingers should be loose."

"What if my attacker has a metal hand?" She joked, slowly putting her right hand on top of his metal one on her shoulder. It was cool under her palm and smooth. As he left hand landed on his right hand, it was a stark difference. Slightly rough, warm. As their flesh touched, she felt a jolt run through her.

_Uh oh._

"Well, let's hope one of his normal fingers is the weak one," Bucky replied to her quietly.

Did he just feel the same electricity as she met his hand?

Her hands moved across his slowly, finally clutching onto the middle finger of his right hand. She twisted it upwards towards him, a slight wince displaying on his face. "There you go. That sudden pain should startle your attacker enough for you to slip away."

She released him but his hands remained on her. She swallowed hard as he started to massage her shoulders, slowly, gently. She closed her eyes, losing herself to his touch. She reminded herself not to _whimper_ again.

"Avery."

Bucky's hands moved from near her neck, down her shoulders, holding onto her biceps, still pressing her against the wall. He shifted forward, slightly, to close in the space between them. He wasn't sure exactly what was racing through his mind or what part of him was making the decisions at that moment, but he didn't want to fight it.

Ever since Avery had _whimpered_ at his touch earlier, he longed to be closer to her. He wanted to hear those small noises of excitement from her, maybe hear her moan into his lips or -

"Bucky." His name escaped her lips like a whisper as she opened her eyes, tilting her head slightly to look up and into his. She swallowed hard as she watched his tongue roll across his lower lip. Her hands reached out, just enough to graze her fingers along the space right above his hips. She could feel the soft cotton of his shirt against her fingertips. She gripped it in her fists, pulling him even closer, parallel to her. Then, unexpectedly, her hands released and snaked up his shirt, fingertips rolling across his skin.

Bucky inhaled sharply, doing everything in his power to stop the blood rushing towards his -

"Bucky? Hello?" Another voice interrupted their moment, coming from the front of the apartment. It was Steve.

"You will never guess what I just found at the vintage place on Delancey."

Steve _and_ Sam, actually.

Bucky let out a soft _fuck_ and pulled away, releasing Avery from his hands. Her hands escaped from under his shirt, quickly sliding away from him and towards the far end of the room as he dipped out towards the door.

"What are you guys doing here?" Bucky asked as he met them in the kitchen. Steve walked over and extended his arm over Bucky, pulling him in for a quick hug.

"Sharon kicked us out of the offices early this afternoon," Steve replied as he pulled away with a smile. "And Sam found this old video game system he wants to try and hook up to your TV."

Sam had a large box in his hands and a big smile on his face. "We sent you like a dozen texts," he added in. "And you did tell me you'd be down for a games night this weekend."

"Oh, uh, actually -

"Is that an N64?" Avery appeared between Sam and Bucky suddenly. "Hey guys."

"I was just going over some self-defense moves with Avery." Bucky glanced from Steve to Sam, quickly answering whatever questions they were about to _inappropriately_ ask.

"Sorry to interrupt," Steve smirked. "Nice to see you, Avery."

Bucky shot him a look, as if to ask him to _keep his comments to himself._

Avery was turned completely to Sam now, looking into the box in his arms. "These are going for tons of cash on eBay lately. What did you get it for?"

Sam nodded his head with a smile as she talked. "It's missing a power cable and a coaxial so the clerk gave it to me for $75. Honestly, a steal. It felt like I was robbing the place."

"I have a ton of cords in a box downstairs," Avery replied to him excitedly. "We might be able to make this work." She paused and looked back towards Steve and Bucky, who were both looking at them like they were speaking a foreigh language. "Not to.. Intrude on your boys night or whatever this is."

"You know there are four controllers in here," Sam nudged her arm. "I would love to have someone here from this time period anyway."

Avery gave him a confused look but smiled. "I really, really don't want to impose, though. Seriously. If you don't want me here, just tell me." Her eyes bounced from Sam to Steve to Bucky. She was met by comforting smiles from all of them.

"You are more than welcome to stay," Bucky said.

"Just know these two get incredibly competitive," Steve added in, giving Bucky a pat on the shoulder.

"I can handle it," Avery replied, locking her eyes with Bucky's for a few seconds. "I did grow up with two older brothers."

Sam took the box and headed into the living room, dropping it down and shaking off his bomber jacket. Avery turned towards Steve and Bucky, who she caught making eyes with each other, as if they could talk without actually saying anything.

That was the exact reason she was feeling confused and doubtful about whatever just almost happened with Bucky. If he _wasn't_ with Steve, their comfort levels with each other were very evident.

"Okay, I just need to borrow someone taller than me to get to that box of cables we need," she said as she started towards the door.

"Why don't you go?" Bucky said to Steve, swatting his chest gently.

There were two small things Bucky needed in that moment - one was a moment alone with Sam to give him some details he needed to know. And the other was to give Steve some time with Avery, because, well, if he was developing a crush on this girl (he definitely was developing _something_ ), it was really important to him she might get along with Steve, too.

"Awesome. You are slightly taller than Bucky, anyway." Avery smirked at Bucky as she opened the door and Steve followed her out.

Bucky let out a heavy sigh as the door shut then headed towards the living room. "Wilson," he said, plunking down onto the couch facing Sam. "Avery doesn't know who I am. Who we are."

"What?" Sam turned his head towards Bucky, pulling his hands out of the video game box. "What do you mean?"

"I told her we work for a private security firm." He hadn't as much as even brought up the Avengers in casual conversation in case it led somewhere he wasn't ready to deal with.

"You're telling me that girl doesn't know she's walking down to her apartment with Captain America right now?"

Bucky shook his head. "Either she's playing dumb or she truly doesn't recognize him."

"It's that damn beard," Sam said with a smirk. "I assume you already told Steve this?"

"On one of our phone calls earlier this week..I filled him in about everything."

"Okay, I'll play along. Only because I've never seen you worked up like this before." Sam turned back to the box in front of him and he heard Bucky sigh out a _thank you._

"But you know this can't go on very long, right? I mean, we are in a digital era. If she decides to look you up online -

Bucky closed his eyes for a second, shaking his head. "Most, maybe even all, of my history from the HYDRA database was scrubbed from the public when the Federal Government pardoned me, Steve made sure of it."

"Okay, but one Google of _Steve Rogers_ and that star-spangled babyface will come up in thousands of search results."

"If this gets serious, I'm going to tell her. It's just too much of a risk right now. I don't want to scare her off or.."

"I get it, man. Really. I won't say a word, Sergeant."

* * *

Avery was quiet as she and Steve headed down to her apartment. The moment she was just sharing with Bucky was burned into her brain. His skin felt so warm under her fingers, the pressure of his hands on her arms...it was overwhelming and she wished so desperately they hadn't been interrupted. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail and shook her head as they approached her door.

"You dyed your hair," Steve commented as they paused as she entered her code into the door handle.

She glanced over her shoulder at him as they walked in, smiling. "I did. I had a messy week so it was a small act of rebellion against my old self."

Steve just nodded, casually pointing his hand towards her. "Well, I think it looks nice."

"Thanks, Steve." She glanced around her apartment. "First, behind my TV there's a small universal converter." She pointed towards the TV mounted across from her couch. "If you can snake your hand behind it and pull the box out."

Steve nodded again at her instructions and did as she said, taking care to not smash his foot into one of the potted plants sitting in the corner near the TV.

Avery disappeared into her bedroom and changed out of her _self-defense_ clothes. Her leggings were swapped for a pair of relaxed, ripped jeans and she pulled on a grey crew-neck sweatshirt. She left her hair down, running her hands through it anxiously. She stuck her head out the door and saw Steve waiting beside her kitchen island, small converter box in his hand.

"Okay, next," she waved him over towards her, to come into her room. "In my closet, at the very back of the upper shelf, I have a few boxes. I'm hoping one has those old cables we need."

Steve joined her in the corner of her bedroom, peering upwards into her now opened closet door. Avery sat on the edge of her bed as she watched him reach up onto her shelf. She probably could have climbed on one of her kitchen chairs and tried this herself but she figured if there was a tall man available, they'd probably be willing to help.

Steve seemed like the type who wouldn't let a woman do something if he could help her do it, instead. It was a bit old fashioned, really, but Avery kind of liked it.

Plus, this gave her the chance to watch his back muscles flex through his t-shirt as he reached upwards and retrieved the boxes for her. He let out a small grunt as he pulled one of the boxes loose, pivoting to hand it to her.

"Thank you," she said with a smile as he waited for her to open it. "It would probably have helped if past Avery labeled these boxes for future Avery." Steve let out a laugh to agree. She ripped the tape off the top of the cardboard and opened it to reveal a box of photos, not leftover electronics and cables.

She shook her head and glanced back towards the closet. "I think there's one more up there?"

Steve nodded and turned back, reaching his arms up again. "There's a lot of shoeboxes up here, too."

"All filled with shoes," she replied. "Past Avery went out a lot during college." Steve laughed at her commentary again. She noticed his laughter made his whole body shake sometimes, it was kind of cute. He turned back again with another box.

She stood and tore apart the overlapping cardboard edges. "There we go.." She took it from him and sat back on the bed, fishing around through the box. "Honestly, I think a bunch of this stuff was Seth's but he packed it away after I vanished and never looked at it again. So it's mine now."

Steve sat down on the other side of the box, shifting to face her. "So, how'd your self-defense lessons go? I hope he was easy on you."

Avery's eyes moved from the box in front of her up towards Steve. "He did. It was..it was educational." She looked back at the box and started to untangle some cords. She made a decision at that moment that maybe it was easier to not beat around the bush. She didn't want to waste her time misreading signals. "Can I ask you a question?"

Steve lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Sure."

"And you can choose not to answer once I ask it. Honestly. You don't owe me anything here."

He shook his head with a laugh. "Avery, you can ask me anything. I'm an open book."

"Are you and Bucky together?"

Steve had a feeling this question was coming. He wasn't an idiot - he could read Bucky like the back of his hand. And the moment Steve and Sam had walked into his apartment and Bucky appeared in front of them, he was flustered. He tried to mask it, but it was clear something had just had him worked up. Something, or when Avery appeared next, _someone_.

He and Bucky had talked about it, sort of, earlier that week. Bucky called him late one night after they got back to their rooms at the palace, going over some details about what they were doing with T'Challa and a strategic plan to help Wakanda when they left. The conversation had circled back to Avery, somehow. Bucky had residual guilt for blowing her off.

So Steve asked if he had feelings for her. And Bucky said he wasn't sure. After everything Bucky and Steve had been through in their lives, it always ended up their one constant was each other. Bucky confided he didn't want to lose Steve but he wanted to explore whatever was going on in his head about her. Steve assured him again and again that it was okay.

" _What does this look like, Stevie? What if I want to date this girl but I don't want to lose you?"_

" _We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? You'll never lose me. Things might just shift." Steve paused. He could sense the heaviness in Bucky. "You're also assuming she'll say yes if you ask her out. Maybe she has better taste than we think."_

_That sparked a laugh from Bucky. "Punk." There was a pause. "Maybe I want you both."_

" _You just have to be honest with her. Life is a lot more flexible in the 21st Century, Buck."_

Steve wasn't sure if this was his place. This was complicated and maybe it wasn't fair to complicate it for her, too.

"Bucky is my best friend." Steve started slowly. "Our friendship..relationship, it's hard to explain."

"But you're dating?"

"I don't even think that's how I'd describe it."

She gulped then closed her eyes. She just wanted to ask. "You sleep together?"

"We share a bed, sometimes. But it's not.. It's not like that." Steve shook his head.

Avery could tell this wasn't an easy conversation for Steve. She hardly knew him and she knew this wasn't fair, even if he was answering her questions. She should have asked Bucky first, maybe. She waved an arm and glanced down. "I'm sorry for asking, I realize that's pretty personal. It's just..we had a moment and I don't want to.."

"Avery, hey, look at me," Steve reached over the box in between them and laid his hand on her wrist. "This is new for him. And me too, I guess. But don't let _me_ be the reason you don't get to know him, okay?"

Avery smiled at him then stood up, grabbing the box of cables and shaking her head. That was not how she thought the conversation might go. Truthfully, she had no idea what Steve's response was going to be and she didn't get any concrete answer. For now, she would just shake it off. All of it. The moments with Bucky, the self doubt, the uncertainty.

Steve took the box from her and they headed upstairs again. He told her an old story about when he and Bucky were in ninth grade. Bucky convinced Steve to skip class with him to go watch horse racing at the track with his uncle and somehow found them old fedoras and fake mustaches, as if that would convince the public they were old enough to be gamling in the middle of school day.

Avery laughed and laughed as Steve described the moment, including how he used to be significantly smaller than Bucky. She found that hard to believe, considering Steve's general width. It was a nice story. Picturing a young, smartass Bucky wasn't that difficult. There really was a lot of longevity in the friendship between Steve and Bucky, no wonder Steve implied it was a bit complicated. There was love involved.

Back inside Bucky's apartment, Avery joined Sam at the TV to try and hook up the old video game system. Luckily, she had enough options as far as cables and hook-ups, plus her converter, that they managed to get the familiar Nintendo logo to pop up on screen.

"Yes!" Sam awarded her a high five when they realized what they had accomplished. "Now, the most important question." He pulled a handful of games out of the box, presenting the options to her. "Do you think we should start with Supersmash Bros or Mario Kart?"

"Always Mario Kart, Sam," Avery answered him, as if that was the dumbest question in the world. He smirked at her once more, leaning back into the couch.

Bucky and Steve were watching them from the kitchen. Well, Bucky was watching them. Steve was looking at Bucky.

"You okay?" Steve asked quietly, shifting his hand to rest on Bucky's lower back. It was discreet, but he wanted to offer a comforting touch.

"Yeah," Bucky turned his head towards Steve with a small smile. "I think I like her or something, Stevie." He still wasn't sure how to define the feelings he was dealing with. But they were positive, light, warm.

"You guys ready to race?" Avery called over to them, a playful smile on her face.

Steve had played some video games before. The Avengers compound had a huge games room for down time and he had spent a bit of time in there with some of the younger agents. Plus, every time they went to Sam's, he managed to end up with some strange controller in his hand as Sam droned on about a game.

Bucky, on the other hand, was not as familiar or interested, really. He liked board games or card games. Even as a master assassin with genetically modified hand eye coordination, video games were just not his thing. He avoided the games room at the compound and swore, _a lot_ , when Sam insisted they play something on his XBOX.

Steve dropped down on the couch opposite Sam while Bucky joined Avery on the floor, sitting cross legged on her left.

"Do you really buy jeans with rips in them like that?" Bucky asked as he looked at her legs stretched out.

"I do, yes," she replied with a smirk. "Here." She handed him a grey controller.

"How do I hold this?" He asked, glancing at her then up towards Sam.

It turned out, after all, Bucky wasn't half bad at Mario Kart. He played as Donkey Kong, remembering how Avery was rambling on about his video game when they walked back from the bar. She chose the princess. Steve was Mario ("Of course you pick the hero," Sam chided him), Sam was Toad.

Avery swore, loudly, every time Bucky hit her with a shell or she wiped out on a stray banana peel.

Conceptually, Bucky did not understand the game. But he saw the appeal. He especially enjoyed hearing Avery laughing and swearing beside him the whole time.

They took a break, eventually. Steve ordered pizza for dinner. Sam and Avery each enjoyed a beer from Bucky's fridge.

Avery could not believe the way her day had gone. From waking up, still sad and irritated about the week she was leaving behind, feeling confused about Bucky. Now, she was sitting in his living room, confused about _everything_ but having a really fun night with him and his friends. Her friends?

Eventually, they called it a night. Sam opted to leave the game system hooked up at Bucky's, mainly so they could do this again. As Sam and Steve headed down towards the first floor to exit, Bucky walked Avery to 509.

"Well, I guess you walking me home is becoming a habit, isn't it," she joked as she leaned on her door. Her smile was playful.

Bucky stood just in front of her, left hand tucked in his pocket. He smirked and used his right hand to press against his jawline for a moment.

"Today was really.." She trailed off. She wasn't sure how to describe it. Nice didn't seem to fit. It was more than nice, it was warm and especially comforting. Spending the day with him felt natural. She didn't want to admit that, she couldn't.

"Yeah, it was." Bucky nodded, as if he knew exactly what she _didn't_ just say.

She wanted to ask what he was doing with his Saturday. She wanted to book in another moment with him, immediately. Part of her even really wanted to invite him in right that very second.

"Thanks for the self-defense lesson, by the way," she continued. "I think I learned a lot."

"Well, we can do that again. I have plenty more I can show you. Sunday afternoon, maybe?" Truthfully, he wanted to show her more right then and there. Who needs practice mats when she has a bed just twenty feet away? But, he didn't want to come across too strong. After Saturday morning yoga, he had an outstanding movie date lined up with Steve for a matinee of _Arsenic and Old Lace_ at the old Brooklyn Bijou.

Sunday seemed so far away but he could wait. He'd have to.

"I'd like that," she said quietly, letting out a long exhale. "I'll give you my number this time in case you need to bail?"

He laughed then reached to his back pocket and took out his phone, extending it to her. She keyed in her name and texted herself, so she could have his number too. "Sunday I'm all yours."

She handed his phone back to him. "Goodnight, Bucky."

Their eyes locked after she spoke. He had never noticed how much hers could shine before. Her eyes, bright in the dimly lit hallway, were grey or blue or both. And he wanted so much to look at them for a long time.

Bucky leaned in and tilted his head, laying a quick kiss against her cheek. "G'night, Avery."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH. This ended up longer than I wanted, so much I could have split it into two chapters but I liked it as a package. I really wanted to get this out of the way, lay some seeds and get-to-know you moments for them. I hope no one minds the length lol
> 
> thank you to everyone who has read so far! Every little stat means so much to me. Thank you for the kudos and for subscribing! And for everyone who comments - you have no idea how happy that little Inbox (1) notification makes me. I'm obsessed with my own damn story (no shame LOL) and I love to hear your thoughts and feelings. I still hope I'm doing these boys justice.
> 
> Also, posting twice a week has been somewhat manageable. If I can't keep it up, please forgive me.
> 
> Here are my silly author notes to add onto this one: LOL at considering a Nintendo 64 is vintage, I know, I know. But it is 2024 and the N64 came out in like 1999 or something. So Sam probably had one growing up at some point and Avery's brothers probably did, too. Not that these old soldiers have any idea what is going on. And I know it's hard to characterize Bucky when his story arc in the MCU wasn't extreme, but to me, the boy is a reader. I hope no one can disagree with that. He's an old soul, rough around the edges. And yes, I wanted this self-defense lesson to spark something PHYSICAL so... we'll see where this goes.
> 
> coming up next: Sunday brings a trip to the farmer's market and another afternoon of self-defense training. And... Steve talks Bucky into doing what he does best - taking a girl on a date.


	7. Peaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: things...might...get...physical sooner than we all thought.

The Brooklyn Bijou was one of the only buildings still standing that Bucky could remember from his previous life. Despite his scrambled mind, he had very real memories of splitting a large popcorn and soda with Steve and watching a movie from the back of the balcony. They were barely kids anymore when they started going on their own. Then, in high school, when Bucky would try to arrange a double date for Steve and himself and two lucky ladies.

Or one lucky lady and whoever her friend was who sat and ignored Steve.

But going back to the theatre, just the two of them, was nostalgic and indulgent. Even if the ticket prices were unbelievable and the snack options were expanded.

Steve opted for Junior Mints while Bucky snacked on some Red Vines, occasionally stealing snacks from one another. Steve leaned his arm over Bucky's shoulder, thoroughly enjoying feeling his body rumble with laughter as the old black and white movie rolled on in front of them.

It was these moments, of peaceful togetherness, that they could each forget they had lost each other for so long.

"They're playing _Holiday_ next week," Steve commented as they walked out of the theatre, pushing on his sunglasses to combat the late afternoon sun.

"You're such a sucker for Cary Grant," Bucky replied, squeezing Steve's arm for a moment as they headed down the sidewalk.

Steve responded with a gentle laugh, in agreement. "So what if I'm a romantic." He turned his head to look over at Bucky, who pulled out his phone to check his messages. "Speaking of romance. What's your plan for that?"

"Hmm?" Bucky shot a side glance to Steve, tucking his phone away again. "For what?"

"I know you weren't just checking your phone for a message from Sam," Steve said with a smirk.

"I messaged her earlier. Just to say good morning. But she didn't reply." Bucky shrugged.  
"Should I not have done that?"

Steve swallowed his laughter at Bucky's innocent question and concern. It actually hurt his heart a little to see his face so twisted with disappointment. "Maybe she's had a busy day."

"Yeah, maybe." Bucky nodded. They walked quietly for a few blocks, both men lost in their own thoughts.

"The Brooklyn Botanical Gardens," Bucky said as they were getting closer to the apartment building. "They just started their evening hours. I wanna ask her to go. Do you think that's a good idea? For a..date?"

Truthfully, Steve hadn't been on a date in a long time. Well, not a first date and not with anyone but Bucky in recent years.

During the mess of the five years, he spent a lot of time with Sharon. They dated, or tried to, for some time. But it was more of a physical release for both of them, searching for comfort in an incredibly confusing time. Sharon didn't stay in one place very long and that was difficult. She would appear at the compound one day, ready to get back into action however The Avengers might need her. Then she would go dark on Steve. Of course, she had her own things going on and more to her life outside of what he knew. At the end of it all, they were better off as friends.

He couldn't imagine having anyone else at his side keeping things running for their team now, anyway. But Sharon had truthfully been the last woman he had spent anytime with, physically. There had been some dates after but since gaining Bucky back, and having him back for good, he hadn't really needed anything else.

Bruce taught him the term _asexual_ but Steve wasn't sure that was it. It's not that he didn't have a libido or find women attractive - _he had desires, sometimes_. But it was never beyond his control. It never consumed him or drove him to the point of dealing with it, even though he could.

"I think that's a great idea, Buck," Steve responded, reaching to give him a pat on the back. "If she says yes."

"Oh, give it a rest, I'm nervous enough as it is," Bucky muttered out. "Is this how you used to feel when you were into a girl?"

"Hell, that's how I'd feel now," Steve replied to him. They circled to the back of the apartment building and headed towards Steve's Jeep, parked in the back of the lot.

They didn't always get every Saturday together for old black and white movies at the Bijou. But they were going to capitalize on it this time, with Steve promising to cook Bucky dinner if he would give him a deep tissue massage. Sometimes a super soldier really needed the pressure of another super soldier to really get the knots out of his back.

As they travelled across the Brooklyn Bridge to Steve's place in the village, Bucky felt his phone buzz a few times. He couldn't help but smile when he saw Avery's name popping up on his phone with a series of messages.

Avery: _i'm so sorry I didn't reply this morning! So here is a delayed good morning text. And maybe a happy afternoon and a good evening, too.  
_Avery: _ended up swamped with work things all day and now I'm stuck in a video call planning out a bachelorette party  
_Avery: _augh  
_Avery: _anyway i wanted to go to the farmers market in Park Slope tomorrow morning. Wanna join me? :)  
_Avery: _the catch is if I buy too much produce you may have to help carry my bags_

Bucky's smile grew as he read through her series of texts. Each sent immediately after the one prior, like her rambling extended to her messages. He liked it.

Bucky: _sure, I'd like that. what time?  
_Avery: _meet me at my door around 9?  
_Avery: _best to go earlier to avoid the church crowd  
_Avery: _or you'll see me fight an elderly man for a mini peach pie again  
_Bucky: _I would love to hear that whole story.  
_Avery: _I'll tell you tomorrow. see you in the morning :)_

* * *

Avery felt a bit guilty ignoring Bucky's cute good morning message and lying to him about her delayed response. She wished she had been able to will herself enough energy to at least reply to him in a reasonable amount of time but sadly, her Sad Brain Disease got the best of her.

An extra benefit to getting a housing slot with the _Square One_ project was the promise of expedited mental health counselling for readjusting to life again. And Avery had been grateful for it. But the allotted resources were quickly overwhelmed and Avery's weekly counselling sessions were reduced to monthly then to bi-monthly. She hasn't been in weeks now due to scheduling issues. She tried her best to practice things that would help her on her own, but it was hard.

And some days, like this particular Saturday, her Depression with a capital D won over common sense and rational thought. Avery spent the entire day trying to talk herself into a shower to fake it through the video call with her sister's bridal party.

Even though Avery's duties as Maid of Honour were not grand, she did want to take the planning of the bachelorette party seriously. So, by late afternoon she pulled herself out of bed, shut off the stream of _Will & Grace _on her laptop and showered. Then she finally looked at her phone and thought it appropriate to respond to Bucky.

Part of her really wanted to invite him over and skip the Skype call. Ask him if they would just pick up where they left off in his training room so she could feel _something good_ but she did the rational thing. And lied about her day. Then invited him to hang out immediately the next morning.

She was so happy when he responded right away.

That was nice.

Avery knew it was her responsibility to work on her mental health. She knew she should try to exercise more and eat properly (somehow ordering in Chipotle three times a week wasn't great for her brain or wallet) and talk about her feelings. But those were hard.

It was easier to just take it one day at a time. At least spring meant sunshine more often than darkness. And now, inviting Bucky to join her at the farmer's market at least kept her accountable to get out of bed Sunday morning.

Considering she spent most of her Saturday in bed (aside from sitting upright and offering ideas about Lora's big night in the city in July), she managed to get up early on Sunday. She was trying not to treat her walk to the farmer's market like it was a date but she wanted to at least feel put together.

Did she try on various outfits to find the most casual thrown-on Sunday morning attire? Maybe.

Did she blow dry her hair and add some curls, only to brush them out and attempt a natural wave? And add on mascara and concealer, too? Yes.

But it wasn't a date.

She had settled on her favourite dark jeans paired with an old Red Sox tee, cuffed at the shoulders. Plus a pair of sandals, since the May weather was warmer than anticipated. That was easy.

Casual. She was casual. She felt super casual.

She walked through her apartment and checked in on her plants, carefully eating a cup of strawberry yogurt. She paused in front of the window and ran her hand along the leaves of her most pesky resident, who seemed to be doing okay lately. "You're a rockstar, Frank."

She was sure talking to her plants was a sign of insanity but if no one heard her, she was in the clear.

Bucky skipped his Sunday morning run and took a bit of extra care getting his shit together instead. He had whined to Steve last night that he wished he had invited Avery to do something first. Was she thinking this farmers market thing was a date? Should he be treating it that way?

Steve, being Steve, just talked him down from the cute, irrational spiral. "Just go buy some fruit and don't overthink it, Buck."

He tried not to overthink it. But he did, anyway.

After a long, hot shower he argued with himself about shaving - the verdict was not to shave or he'd look like he was trying hard - then quickly ran a hand through his hair. It was getting to an awkward in between length and sometimes the bed head was a bit much. But he looked okay. Presentable, at least.

Dressed in a dark red plaid and pair of jeans, he hung his sunglasses off his shirt and headed down to the 5th floor a few minutes before nine. He skipped the good morning text this time and hoped she was awake or not forgotten about their plans.

After a quick knock, Avery appeared at the door with her phone up to her ear and a spoon hanging out of her mouth. She mouthed the word ' _hey'_ and motioned for him to come in, while she continued to listen to whoever was on the other side of that phone call.

"Lo, you're not allowed to argue or plan your own _surprise_ bachelorette party." Avery rolled her eyes again and again as her sister continued on in her ear. "Also, I'm cutting Asha out of the group chat if she's going to run and tell you all the details every time we have a bridal party meeting."

Bucky leaned against the kitchen counter and smiled at her as she mouthed the word ' _sorry'_ to him next.

"Yes, I'll call you later. And yes, I will add Marquee to the list of places we are not allowed to go. But that's it, Lora! I swear. If you call me about this again I'm going to hire a dozen strippers. Male strippers! With penises!" Avery pulled her phone away from her ear as her sister screeched. "Love you, too. Say hi to Allie."

Avery smiled proudly to herself as she ended the phone call, tucking her phone into the pocket of her jeans.

"Did you just threaten someone with..male strippers?" Bucky had a lot of questions after hearing one side of that phone call.

Avery ran a hand through her hair and raised an eyebrow towards him. "I did, yes." His expression remained confused as he lifted his hand in the air, motioning for her to continue.

She ducked into her room for a moment to grab her purse and a fabric tote bag, pushing a pair of sunglasses onto her head. "My sister is getting married in August and as Maid of Honour I have to plan her bachelorette party this summer. She's incredibly Type A and wants to do everything herself so whenever she toes the line I threaten her with phallic related party things." Avery paused and tilted her head as she met his still confused gaze. "My sister is a lesbian."

Bucky just nodded, as if that could explain everything she had just been going on about.

"Shall we?"

Their walk down towards Park Slope was relatively quiet. Avery didn't mind the silence, really. It was clear Bucky wasn't especially talkative, although she always appreciated when he prodded her for more details about something or asked her questions. He did go off on a tangent when he discussed his Saturday afternoon matinee with Steve - particularly about obnoxious teenagers loitering at the theatre. It made her smile mainly because it reminded her of something her crazy old uncle would complain about.

The farmer's market was pretty busy for Sunday morning. It was likely the warm weather bringing people out and the additional summer stalls opening with imported fruit and options for local produce. Bucky and Avery meandered at their own pace.

Bucky didn't like to stray very far from her. Not for any reason in particular other than he just wanted to be near her. He didn't love the crowds, _he'd never feel comfortable in a crowd_ , but this atmosphere was tolerable. It was comforting to see so many peaceful people, walking in the sun, collecting their food items, laughing with the people they were with.

He lost her, for a few moments. Then his eyes landed on her at a stall a few feet away, reaching out over a table to look at a variety of fruit.

"What do you think?" Avery turned to him with a smile as she saw him approach, stepping underneath the small pop-up stall with her. She pointed towards a few options in front of her. "I'm not sure I can commit to a cantaloupe."

The older man standing behind the table took a step up, pointing down to the baskets of fruit in front of her. " _Persik._ " He looked up and glanced between Avery and Bucky, a toothy grin on his face. "Good, good. Very sweet."

Avery shook her head, uncertain what he was pointing at.

"He's recommending the peaches," Bucky said, grabbing one of the small cardboard baskets.

Avery shot him a coy glance. "You speak Russian?"

Bucky nodded, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink at her skepticism. "A bit, yeah. Peach is _persik_. Or, even, uhm, _krasotka_."

The man behind the table let out a laugh as Bucky spoke, adjusting the hat on his head and looking to Avery. "You better watch out with this one, _krasotka_."

"C'mon, don't give me away," Bucky gave the man a smirk, pulling some cash out of his wallet to pay for the basket of peaches. " _Spasibo, ser._ "

Avery just looked between the two of them as Bucky reached for her tote bag, adding in the basket of peaches.

"What does kra..krasoka mean?" She grabbed Bucky's arm for a brief second as they turned away. "Bucky."

He shook his head with a laugh and turned to look at her. "I'll tell you later, _krasotka_." He smiled as her face turned into an irritated pout, taking a few steps away from him to look at another stall.

They sat, eventually, at a small bistro table. Avery acquired them each a black iced coffee from _Cano_ and he finally pushed her to explain whatever story she had about a peach pie.

"It's going to make me seem petty but I want you to understand I was having an especially bad week and all I wanted was one perfect pastry." Avery pulled her sunglasses off her face and folded them onto the table. She took a sip of her coffee and leaned forward, smiling at Bucky's curious face staring at her.

"Okay, so _Pielady & Son_," she started, pointing down the way to a small storefront. "They make specialty recipe pies with seasonal fruit. They had fresh Georgia peaches and when I raced here one morning -

"Avery? Is that you?"

Both Bucky and Avery turned their heads to the sudden voice beside them.

Avery knew who it was right away. She didn't need to look further than the pastel blue shorts at her eye-level.

"Seth, hey," she said quietly, biting her lip. She pushed her chair back and stood up, knowing there was no way to avoid having any kind of conversation with him at that point.

"Why haven't you called me back?" Suddenly he was pulling her into a hug.

Bucky could see her stiffen as this guy - _Seth_ \- wrapped his arms around her. And he felt a strange sense of something flow through him. Jealousy this guy was touching her, annoyance he interrupted their time together, an overall unpleasant feeling he was making her feel uncomfortable. If Bucky could read that in her body language so quickly, why couldn't this guy understand she didn't want to be hugged by him?

This guy looked like a real collegiate type. He was much more cleaned up than most people for a farmer's market. His patterned dress shirt was covered by a navy blazer, matching his pasty blue shorts and boat shoes. Truthfully, he looked like someone Bucky really wanted to beat up.

She broke from the hug as quickly as she could, taking a smell step away to keep distance between herself and her ex-boyfriend. "I just.. I have a lot going on. It's been a hard year, I guess."

"I can only imagine, sweetie," Seth replied to her, reaching out for her hand.

Bucky felt his chest tense up as he reached out to her.

"Don't do that," Avery shook her head as her arms rested across her chest. "You don't get to do that. Or call me sweetie. What's wrong with you?"

Bucky smirked to himself. Maybe he didn't have anything to worry about. He liked everytime Avery reminded him of how scrappy she was.

"Where's your wife?" Avery said next, dropping back into her chair across from Bucky.

"She took Claire-bear to a toddler meditation class this morning," Seth said, his chipper personality fading by the minute. "Who's your friend?" His eyes darted to Bucky.

"Who he is to me is none of your business, Seth," Avery continued on, shaking her head.

"Avery, please," Seth let out a sigh, shifting his weight as he continued to stand there awkwardly. "Crystal and I really want to have you over for dinner. She misses you. I do, too. We need to get past this."

Avery nearly choked on her coffee as he finished his sentence. "We actually don't need to do anything. I don't even know who you are anymore, Seth. And you don't know me."

"Well, if you change your mind," Seth shook his head with a sigh. "You know my number." She met his eyes for a moment then looked down, away from him. He just turned on his heel and headed away from their table.

Avery grabbed her sunglasses off the table and quickly shoved them onto her face, looking down towards her hands as she held onto her plastic coffee cup. Why why _why_ did Seth have to make an appearance and throw off her delicate balance of emotions just when she wanted to indulge in this beautiful morning with Bucky? She was so angry, still. She tried to deal with it, mainly by ignoring Seth and Crystal and their entire new life but it was in these moments that it all just came back to her. Like a punch to the gut.

"Who the fuck wears a blazer to the farmer's market," Bucky muttered out, intentionally lound enough for her to hear. "And don't get me started on those ugly shorts." His hand reached across the table and touched hers. "Wanna head home, doll?"

She nodded, just barely and stood up. Her chest heaved up and down as she took long, slow breaths as they walked.

A few blocks into their silent journey home, Bucky turned his head to look at her. "Avery, do you want to -

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I was going to ask if you wanted to finish telling me that pie story."

"Oh." Avery paused on the sidewalk and let out a long breath. "Sorry. You don't deserve me snapping at you."

He shrugged. Maybe that was true. But he wasn't going to press.

"You're very understanding, somehow. Even in your silence," she said quietly, starting to walk forward again. "Okay. So, these seasonal Georgia Peach pies…"

By the time they got back to their apartment building, Bucky was howling with laughter over her ridiculous story. He held open the door of the back entrance as she climbed up the stairs ahead of him. She turned and smiled at him over her shoulder.

"I'm not saying I scared him away from ever returning to the market, but we've never crossed paths again, thankfully."

"Well, I'll keep in mind to never come between you and a pastry," Bucky replied as they stopped outside her door. Without even a second thought, he followed her inside.

It felt normal, suddenly, for them to be in each other's presence. Avery didn't know why, but it was comfortable for her. She hadn't felt so comfortable with someone like this in a long time and while it was confusing, she was trying not to be apprehensive about it.

Bucky took a seat on her couch while she unpacked her grocery bag. There was something especially domestic about this moment and it was a bit overwhelming. He glanced at a few messages on his phone, mainly a series of memes Sam thought he should see. As he returned his phone to his pocket, his eyes caught a few stacks of photos sitting on her coffee table.

It probably wasn't his place to look at them but something in one of the piles of photos caught his eye.

"What happened here?" He picked it up and turned to her in the kitchen, holding up the photo.

"Oh my god," she groaned, heading towards where he was sitting. She dropped down next to him, taking a bite of the peach in her hand and smiling. "That was the night of my senior prom."

Bucky narrowed his eyes onto the photo. There stood a much younger Avery, dressed in a bright blue gown that went down to the ground. Her hair was put up in a bun, much like it usually was, but this time it was neater, decorated with silver pins. The most prominent thing in the photo was the large sling her arm was resting in. The guy standing beside her, arms crossed, had a big smile on his face. He turned and raised an eyebrow at her.

"That's my brother Jeremy," Avery said, tilting her head. "We were wrestling on our trampoline a few days before prom and, well, I ended up with a fractured clavicle. My mom thought we should capture the moment."

"And you really think you need self defense if you can wrestle like that?"

"Clearly I do. You don't see his arm in a sling, do you," she nudged Bucky's arm with a smirk.

He turned to look at her again as she sat beside him, glancing down onto the rest of the photos. She took a bite of the peach, which was especially juicy as a bit of moisture dropped down her lips. Her tongue extended and dealt with the dribbling mess and Bucky took in a sharp breath as he tried not to think about just how that peach tasted.

"Are you and your sister twins?" Bucky asked as he finally looked away from her mouth, back to the photos on the table. He grabbed one from the pile. He assumed it was her sister and he guessed the man in the photo with them was their father.

"Oh god no," Avery said quickly, shaking her head. "This was from last summer." She paused, staring down at the photo in his hand. "Lora is five years younger than me. But, thanks to that angry alien zapping five years from my life, we're sort of the same age genetically now, I guess. But chronologically, she's 24 and I'm 29."

Avery grabbed the photo from his hand and threw it back on top of the table. She shifted and faced him, continuing on with her peach. "So, shall we?"

Bucky tilted his head, trying to figure out what she was proposing.

"Self-defense 201?"

"Oh yeah," he shook his head and stood up. "You can even use the heavy bag if you need to release some of that anger, too."

"What makes you think I'm angry?" Avery stood up, too.

"Well, I thought you might end up punching out that guy earlier, doll," he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "Which actually would have been pretty fun to watch."

Avery's mouth fell open in surprise. "I would win that fight."

"Sure, of course," Bucky nodded aggressively, to indicate he didn't believe a word she was saying. "You definitely would have won. Meet me upstairs?"

She let out a groan but nodded. "You're the worst."

* * *

After changing from her casual _not-a-date-at-the-farmers-market_ clothes into her _self-defense-with-a-cute-guy_ gear, Avery joined Bucky in the training room of his apartment. He did, in fact, let her strap on a pair of boxing mitts and punch at the heavy bag in the corner.

He took the opportunity to teach her some different boxing techniques, which would come in handy if she was being attacked anyway.

Avery kept forgetting why she was doing this - it was to give herself some support if she was ever in a compromised situation again. But she just wanted to continue indulging in the moments where Bucky had his hands on her.

Even after the flood of anger that had washed over her after seeing Seth that morning, she was still in a much better mood than she had been the day before.

Bucky toed the line between playful and serious really well, taking the time to not only laugh with her but sternly remind her about her form or about not losing _control_.

Every time he said that word, she wanted to give him _all the control_.

Every time she paused to catch her breath, outwardly blaming her asthma for her overheated cheeks and increased heart rate, she was really trying to calm herself down.

Every time they took a small break from the punching bag, Avery couldn't help but watch Bucky. He moved carefully and quietly all the time, like the weight of his footsteps were nothing. He would appear beside her without her even realizing, his breath hot on her neck as he came in to correct her form. The touch of his hands, one warm and one cool, against her arms sent lightning bolts through her.

How could she go from feeling so comfortable and casual around him to being nervous and _bothered?_

She was having a difficult time reading him, but she was starting to think he _definitely_ was feeling the same things.

Sometimes Bucky had to let go and take a step back, turn his body away from her to let out a breath. On more than one occasion she watched him through the mirror, taking a moment to swallow and mutter something to himself as he grabbed his water bottle on the other side of the room.

When she watched him run his hand across his mouth, wiping away the excess from his water bottle, she had to stop her knees from buckling. She never thought self-defense lessons would leave her feeling so...turned on.

It was confusing. And thrilling.

"So." Bucky walked back towards the far end of the room where Avery was waiting, hands steadying the punching bag. He had a plan, a spark in his eyes, and he was hoping it would break the ice for them both. Maybe they could just get past whatever this tension was when their bodies were so close.

"I want to show you how to get out from under an attacker, on your back," he said slowly, unzipping his sweatshirt and tossing it to the ground near the wall. This time, instead of a henley, Bucky was wearing a plain black tank top.

Avery had to remind herself to keep her jaw locked in place while she gazed at his biceps. Even the metal arm looked jacked and she felt _something_ rush through her.

"Okay," she replied to him, taking a few steps to meet him in the middle of the room.

"The other day you said no physical contact was off limits, is that still true?"

Avery desperately wished he had been asking that question in a sensual way but she knew he was just concerned about her safety.

"Yes."

"Okay." He paused, as if thinking through his next move. "Can you, uh, get on the floor?"

Avery bit her lip to hold back a laugh. "Sure. How do you want me?" She resisted winking.

Bucky cracked a smile and shook his head. "Just on your back."

She did as he instructed, quickly laying on the ground facing upwards, knees popped up.

"Are you okay, if I uh..moun-" Bucky stopped himself, biting his tongue. "Can I get on top of you?"

"Were you about to ask if you can.. _mount_ me?" Avery couldn't hold back her laughter after that one.

Bucky looked down at her laughing, eyes squeezed shut, mouth smiling wide. There was something so carefree about it that it made him feel something strange. Like a warm glowing feeling in his chest. The way he felt sometimes when he woke up in the middle of the night and caught Steve smiling in his sleep. It was familiar and beautiful. He watched as her laugh subsided, crossing his arms as he looked down at her.

"Are you done?"

She pursed her lips together, nodding. "Yes, Bucky, you may mount me."

"If you're in a compromised position where someone is on top of you," he started, his voice shifting from playful back to a more serious tone. He dropped down and shifted to the side, ending up in a straddle position on top of her hips. "You have to get out from under them. What would you do?"

Avery took a few breaths as he positioned himself on top of her. He leaned his body forward, placing his palms flat on the ground on either side of her head. "Uhm.. I guess I would try to push you off."

He smirked, but nodded. It wasn't an unfair idea. "Okay, try that."

Avery tried to position her arms onto his torso to push upwards but he hardly moved. She was pretty caged in and defenseless, actually.

"And what if your arms weren't accessible?" Bucky continued, pushing upwards. With barely any effort he grabbed onto her hands and laid them out flat beside her head. Avery took a sharp breath in as he held her in place and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Are you okay?" He asked, loosening his grip.

She nodded. "Mmhmm. I don't know what I would do in this exact moment." Her eyes flicked up and met his, as if they were both trying to communicate without actually _saying what they wanted to say._

He pushed himself upwards on his knees, alleviating the pressure of their hips. "Try to snake your right foot around the outside of my ankle." His legs were angled so his feet rested just behind her thighs. "Push your right leg up towards mine first, to try to trap it. That's the guard position. Then if you hook your foot under mine.." She did as he said, pushing her leg upwards to lock his left ankle between her thigh and calf. "Now, use all the momentum you have to push me upwards."

"But my arms are locked up here," Avery protested, trying to wiggle her wrists.

"You have to use your hips. Your hips have to drive the movement upwards."

She just stared up at him. _There was no way she was thrusting her hips upwards at him._

"Okay, let's..let me show you," he huffed out, releasing her hands. Before Avery realized what was happening, Bucky was grabbing her underneath her shoulders and rolling to his side, pulling her along. She ended up on top of him, just like he had been on top of her.

Her face flushed red as he laid flat back down.

"You alright, doll?" He asked, playfully.

Avery just rolled her eyes and grabbed at his wrists, pushing him down to mimic the position he had her in before. "I'm fine."

"Okay, ready?" He asked, maneuvering his foot around her ankle like he had described before. She nodded her head. In one more swift motion, he hooked her ankle and propelled his hips upwards, flipping Avery onto her back and switching positions _again_.

"Think you can manage that?" He grabbed her arms again and leaned forward slowly. "I'm not sure you're up for the challenge, Avery."

Avery's eyes grew wide at his commentary, lips turned into a coy smile. Was he really flirting with her in the middle of this self-defense lesson?

She nodded, determined. He pushed her arms back onto the ground, flat. "Do you want me to count you down or-

"Oh my god." She closed her eyes and just went for it, hooking her ankle behind his foot, thrusting her hips forward and pushing upwards to the left. To her surprise, his hands lifted and his body moved just like hers had underneath him.

He let go of her hands as he landed on his back, a cocky grin on his face. "Atta girl."

Avery wasn't sure why that tiny utter of praise coming out of his lips made her melt but it did. Bucky noticed the shift in her face, cheeks turning pink again, eyes darting away from him.

She was left catching her breath, staring down at Bucky underneath her and she made a decision. She had spent enough time moping and being angry the last year and she knew it was time to get just what she wanted.

It helped, immensely, that she was straddling him and he was staring up at her with his bright blue eyes. And if he were to lick his lips one more time…

She kind of wished she wasn't wearing workout clothes and maybe that her hair wasn't pulled into a mess on top of her head. But no, she pursed her lips for a moment and swallowed hard, letting them turn into a smile.

Slowly, she leaned forward, walking her hands down his chest.

Bucky watched her eyes shift as she moved closer towards him. Suddenly, a nervous feeling waved through him. "Did you want to maybe go over another couple of moves…"

She shook her head, planting her hands flat on the floor beside his head.

_Just what she wanted._

She lowered herself towards him, analyzing the details of his face. Tousled brown hair she wanted to run her hands through, bright blue eyes staring into her _soul_ , stubble hiding a chiseled jawline, lips that looked so soft.

"Avery," his voice came out like a whisper. She watched as his tongue darted out across his lips, leaving a delectable layer of moisture. She felt his fingers slowly grazing up the side of her thighs, up and down, drawing circles against the smooth skin of her leggings.

"Bucky," she matched his tone. "No physical contact off limits?"

His head barely moved into a nod before her lips pressed onto his. _Finally_.

Bucky let out a moan into her mouth as he matched her intensity. He had been waiting so long to finally taste her and it was well worth it - her mouth was so sweet, like the memory of the peach she enjoyed earlier had remained just for him to get a taste of it, too.

His hands went from gently grazing her thighs to gripping her hips. His hands were tight, guiding her hips into a slow grinding motion as she pressed onto him. This carried on for what felt like forever, Bucky's hands moving from her hips, up and down her back and finally, underneath her tank top. His hands, contrasting in temperature grazing against her bare skin sent a shiver through her whole body.

It was Avery who moaned this time, pushing herself off his lips. She couldn't hide the smile on her face and it matched the shit-eating grin on Bucky's.

"I haven't done this in a while," she started, pulling her hands up to push back her hair and rub across her face, catching her breath.

"Well, you're doing great, doll," Bucky answered with a smirk. His hands remained against her skin, continuing to graze against her spine and hips. She bent back down to meet his mouth again then yelped suddenly as he grabbed her by the waist, using his body weight to flip her onto her back and position himself over top of her.

"You're an expert at that one, huh," Avery said to him as he leaned down on top of her. His hips pressed onto hers just as their lips latched together again. He kissed her lips with such fervor, as if they were the source of his life. Slowly, he let his mouth trail away from her _soft, supple, kissable_ lips and trailed along her jaw. She exhaled and turned her head to the right, letting him continue his exploration.

It was on the bottom of her neck, where the freckles on her shoulder started to break free, that he found the sweetest spot. As he sucked, Avery let out a whimper. She wasn't trying to be quiet but it came out like a low rumble. Bucky took it as a challenge, desperately wanting to hear that noise escape her lips again but _louder._ He wanted to be responsible for her echoing through the room. He pulled away just for a moment then he returned, kissing her intensely then biting down, letting his tongue press against that _sweet spot_ one more time.

Avery whimpered again, her hands clutching onto Bucky's tank top. She couldn't stop her hips from bucking upward into his as his tongue explored her neckline.

"Bucky.." The way she breathed out his name into his shoulder was like music to his ears. And a direct invitation for all the blood in his body to surge to one place. His mouth returned to her lips, smiling as she bit at him. He sucked on her bottom lip, hard.

She whimpered, again. It was a fun game he didn't even realize he was playing. What was going to make that noise get even louder?

Her hands scrambled across his body, snaking up his tank top. Avery felt desperate to feel his skin, any of it, against hers. She was craving more and more of him as his lips bruised her. She pushed her hips upwards again to meet his and, through the fabric of his sweats, she felt him. She grinded up against him as best as she could. He rumbled out a moan, from deep within him as she did and he pressed down with his hips, pinning her against the floor. He took over what she was doing, moving himself against her as if there weren't layers of fabric keeping them apart.

She tugged on the bottom of his tank top, trying to pull it upwards. She wanted to touch him, all of him, every inch of his statue-like frame that was hiding underneath his clothes.

"Avery, baby," his voice was like a low growl in her ear as he nipped at her earlobe. His hips stopped moving as the weight of his body rested on top of her. "I've gotta have you."

Bucky pulled away from her after he said that. This was moving really quickly and maybe they weren't on the same page.

She gave him a coy smile, moving her hands up to grip his arms. "You can have me but do you..can we maybe use your bed instead of this floor?"

He matched her smile and scrambled off of her, quickly getting to his feet. He extended his hand and helped her up, clutching onto her hand and pulling her close. He leaned in to meet her lips again, snaking his hands behind her until they rested on her lower back. She moaned as he grabbed her ass, hard. There was no way her body would be bruise free after all this..

Without warning Bucky grabbed a hold of her and lifted, eliciting a surprised yelp from her. Her eyes went wide as she looked at him, stunned. His hands guided her legs to wrap around him and he pressed another kiss to her lips.

Avery was glad her lips were occupied because she had a string of thoughts she wanted to hiss at him. How could he pick her up like that, as if she was featherweight? In all her experiences with any male, she remained firmly planted on the ground. In fact, as he brain whirled through what the next half hour with Bucky looked like, she felt her stomach twist into nerves.

She hadn't been _naked_ in front of anyone in a long time. Especially in the daylight. She closed her eyes and tried to just relax and enjoy all the sensations she was feeling instead of focusing on the anxious thoughts running through her mind.

It was evident Bucky likely didn't care about how she looked but the idea of him seeing her naked in a few moments was causing her heart rate to increase even more. She could stop this whole thing and say no but her underlying urge to _feel_ was yelling louder than all the doubts.

"I could have walked to your bedroom," she muttered out into his mouth as he nipped at her bottom lip.

"Where's the fun in that, doll?"

Doll.

_Doll._

Why did that incredibly dated pet name suddenly sound so sensual?

Bucky pushed into his door frame with his shoulder, revealing a grey room encased with dark cherrywood furniture. The blinds were still drawn from the night before and Avery felt a sudden sense of safety in there, like this was his cave, hidden from anyone else but them.

Bucky dropped her down, gently, onto the bed (which he was grateful to have made upon waking up that morning). He watched as she started to pull her loose workout shirt over her head but then she hesitated, taking in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" He stood at the edge of the bed, facing her.

"Yeah I just have to.." she closed her eyes and grabbed the hem of her shirt, "..just have to calm down my racing insecurities. I know my body isn't ideal but-

"Avery, your body is more than ideal." He was stern, as if a final statement. He truly wished she believed his words - he knew this wasn't uncommon for women, self doubt about their bodies. Constantly comparing themselves to images displayed everywhere. But the shape of her body, soft and curvy, made him _salivate._ He didn't care if this was about to be an ongoing battle with her, he would be patient, but he would scream from the rooftops about her hips and waist and _all of her._

Leaning in, he replaced her hands on the bottom of her shirt and started to pull it off for her. She sighed and raised her arms up, blushing as she sat looking up at him in her sports bras. He tossed her shirt to the side then tore off his own, extending his hands out to cradle her face. She pressed her right cheek into him, closing her eyes at his touch.

"Workout clothes on you dames," he stood up after planting a kiss on her lips and looked at her.

"Not very sexy, I know," Avery finished his thought, glancing down towards her chest that was concealed in a tight Nike sports bra.

He laughed, biting down on his lower lip as he watched her. "Incredibly sexy, actually. So tight, leaves just enough to my imagination."

She blushed and moved to sit up on her knees in front of him, running her hands across his exposed chest. Speaking of imagination, actually seeing Bucky standing half-naked in front of her was beyond what she pictured. Looking past the rigid lines of his body, she noticed something more. Faint lines decorated his front in no definitive pattern - scars that ran in all sorts of direction. Some incredibly faint, some a more prominent pink.

On his top left shoulder, where his prosthetic met his flesh, there were even more scars. Deep, poorly healed marks leftover from something she wasn't even sure of. It was information he hadn't offered to her and until now, she hadn't thought to ask.

"Doll." His hand reached for her chin, pulling her gaze up to meet his eyes. She could sense an ache in them, similar to what she was wrestling with. There would be time later for questions and details and kissing every one of these scars but right now, there was a _want_ they both shared.

She kissed him, again. Her hands tangled into his hair and as she tested the waters, pulling ever so gently while their mouths were occupied, she could hear a soft moan rumble through Bucky's mouth. She took that as an invitation to pull his hair _harder_ which made him pull away with a grin. She filed that away and turned her mouth to his neck, feeling her skin tickle as she kissed along his stubbled jawline. She nipped at his earlobe, moving her lips down towards his chest.

She let out a gasp as his hands snaked into the waistline of her leggings, pushing both them and her underwear down in one motion, firmly gripping onto her ass from behind.

Bucky loved having something to grab onto. _Someone to grab onto._

She held onto his neck from behind as she brought her face back up to his, her breath picking up.

"Avery," he started, closing his eyes as she tugged at his hair again. "I want to spend hours exploring your body but right now I need you ar-

She cut him off with a kiss. "Tell me you have a condom."

He grinned at her, pulling his tongue across his lips once more. "Clothes. Off."

She let out a breath as he broke away from her, moving towards the small table beside his bed. She did as he instructed because _how could she not_ \- finishing the task of pulling off her leggings. They fell to the ground as she pulled off her sports bra. In that moment, she was especially grateful he was digging for the box of condoms so he didn't have to watch her incredibly unsexy challenge of tearing off the skin tight boob trap.

She laid back, feeling especially exposed now as she pushed herself up onto the top of the bed. She heard him let out a triumphant noise as she found what he was looking for in his drawer, holding the silver package between his teeth as he turned back to her.

He stood at the end of the bed, watching as Avery propped herself up onto her elbows to look at him. Her face was twisted between excitement and nerves but somehow, watching Bucky gaze down at her with intense lust made her feel more relaxed. There was something to be said about feeling desirable.

He tossed the condom up towards her on the bed and hooked his hands over his waistband, pulling his sweats and boxer briefs off together.

Avery didn't mean to stare but it had been so long since she had seen any man naked. Her mouth dropped open, letting out an audible _oh_ as he crawled up towards her on the bed. Bucky didn't even notice her stare as he swept his eyes over her body.

 _My body is not really ideal_ \- his ass.

The woman laying out in front of him was better than he had been thinking about since her initial whimper as he pulled her hair days ago.

The cool air of his room helped her nipples stand as if they were ready for his mouth, framed by the soft skin of her breasts. Her stomach was a bit round but, as he leaned down to kiss her, felt so soft to his touch as he explored the new inches of her exposed to him. And her hips, oh _god_ her hips. He couldn't wait to hold onto them.

He knelt between her legs, using his right hand to palm himself as he looked down at her. She shuddered as his left hand, the metal one, grazed across the skin of her inner thighs.

"Please touch me," she breathed out, letting her head fall back onto the pillows behind her. He did as she requested, not that he liked to give in so easily, but because he knew there would be plenty of time to say no to her in the future.

She felt the cool metal of his fingers trace down her slit and he let out a guttural noise, increasing the pace on himself. "Avery, baby, so wet.."

A louder moan escaped her lips as his metal fingers moved across her center, focusing on her clit with fury. "Bucky, please, let's…" Her hips bucked at his touch and she reached her arm out to grab the condom, tossing it back towards him. "I've gotta have you."

He obliged, of course. There was no way he could wait any longer. He ripped the condom packaging open and prepared himself, leaning down as he lined up against her.

"Slow, please," she said quietly, reaching up to grab a hold of his shoulders, needing to brace onto _something_.

Bucky was impressive in size, yes, but Avery's _dry spell_ meant it had been awhile since she had felt stretched out this way. Her eyes rolled back as he moved, slowly, into her. He bit his lip as he inched in, doing his best to savour the feeling.

Even though he had increased stamina thanks to the serum, he didn't think he was going to last very long if he didn't try to concentrate.

"Holy shit," Avery's arms fell from her clutch on him, stretching out to the side. She grasped onto the sheets in her fists, lifting her hips as he bottomed out inside her. "Oh my god."

Bucky laughed as he laid another kiss on her lips. "You alright?"

She released her hands from the sheets and brought them up around his neck, pulling him closer to her. She wanted to feel his skin on hers. "Yes, just..full?" Her cheeks flushed at her choice of words and it made her melt just a little bit as he chuckled on top of her. She could feel it rumbling through his chest.

He was quick to move, then, knowing she felt okay. His hips motioned forward and back, slowly dragging himself in and almost out, before increasing his rhythm. The series of moans that escaped her made him feel even better. His head moved down to take one of her nipples into his mouth, biting a bit harder than he probably should, then moving to suck on the soft flesh. Hard, long. Soon enough he was leaving dark bruises across both sides of her chest, as if marking his territory.

She yelped out as he did, moving her hips with his underneath his weight.

"I haven't done this in a while either," his voice growled into her ear as he moved his mouth towards her neck. "How'm I doing?"

She let out a hard laugh as her breath hitched. His breath was hot on her neck.

How was he doing?

She wasn't sure she was going to be able to walk tomorrow. As his pace picked up, she was worried she may split in too.

 _How was he doing?_ Like he couldn't read the answer all over her body.

She didn't even get to give him a witty answer in response before he pulled up and out from her, reaching around to grab onto her backside. He moved to the end of the bed and tugged at her ankles to bring her along, eliciting an excited yelp from her. His bed was high enough, no, _the perfect height exactly_ , to pull her legs up and loop them around his waist.

He slipped back into her, quicker than before this time but he was hoping this angle would -

"Oh," Avery could feel something building up as he switched their position. By holding her legs up, his cock could hit her right where he wanted. She didn't want to admit this out loud, so she didn't, but this was _brand new_ to her. Seth had been her longest partner and he was vanilla, by nature. He didn't even try to find her g-spot, despite two years of a relationship. She was lucky he knew where her clit was. But now..

Bucky held her up with his left arm and let his right explore between her thighs once more, running his fingers across her mound and across her clit. The feeling overwhelmed her and she grabbed for the bedsheets again, her head rolling from side to side.

"Oh shit, no, no, I'm going to -

"Yes," Bucky breathed out as he watched her, a satisfying grin on his face. "I want to feel you come, doll. Please."

 _Doll._ There it was again.

She could be his doll. That was fine with her. She'd be anything he wanted her to be as she melted at his touch.

The speed of his hips and hand increased and she felt her legs start to quiver as her orgasm waved through her. She could hear him laughing as she writhed on the bed. As her body continued to quake, he didn't last much longer. Soon enough, as she came back down, Bucky came too, moving his hands to her hips and holding onto her tightly, panting through the shakes of his own body.

"Holy. Fuck." Avery's eyes flew wide open as Bucky slipped out of her, slowly placing her legs down to hang off the bed. She couldn't do anything but stare at his ceiling, bringing one of her hands up to scrub down her face.

_What just happened?_

She didn't even realize he had slipped out of the room but suddenly he returned with a warm washcloth, taking care of the mess he left her in. He extended his hand to her and helped her stand up for a moment, wrapping his arms around her lower back as she ran her hands along his chest.

She knew she looked like a hot mess now, sweaty face, bun falling out of place on top of her head. Yet, Bucky leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips.

"That was…" He searched for something to say. "Really, really.."

"Good. So good." She finished up his thoughts, laughing and leaning her head onto his chest.

"Hey," he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, messy hair and all. "Do you maybe want to.. I dunno, go on a date?"

Avery laughed at his question and his arms tightened around her. "This has all been a bit backwards, hasn't it?" She pulled her head away and looked up at him. He was smirking in agreement. "Yes, I would love to go on a date with you, Bucky Barnes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, folks, listen. This was not where this chapter was originally going but...sometimes, these idiots just kind of have their own ideas and I'm just along for the ride. Also, I haven't written smut in a hot minute so I'm hoping this was... okay and not awkward. also forgive any errors, I was just GOINGFOR IT and I'm a shit editor.
> 
> There's just feelings involved here and well, at least they're past this awkward stage. Now, just a first date.
> 
> THANK YOUUUU so much to everyone who has read so far. Reader, commenter, bookmarker, subsriber, ALL OF YOU. you've helped me feel so much better about writing this world and Avery and these boys and I'm so grateful for it. I love you all. Yes, LOVE, I know that's sudden but it's true. I'm enjoying writing this story so much and your comments and thoughts along the way are just like, the sprinkles on top of the cupcake.
> 
> Coming up next: a first date? and Avery gets to know Steve better, too.
> 
> (oh and spoiler: krasotka means peach but it also means beautiful girl. like a term of endearment.)


	8. Sonnet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sees one picture of Sebastian Stan in a jean jacket and decides Bucky owns one because Steve said he looked good*

Avery had a terrible Monday.

A Monday that was _so_ frustrating it compelled her to stop at the liquor store near her subway stop to grab a bottle of wine on her way home, instead of her usual fresh bouquet of flowers.

She spent her flower money on wine. That's how much of a Monday it was.

She knew it was going to be a rough day when the water pressure in her shower was reduced to a low dribble that morning. She managed to pull herself together with a combination of warm water and dry shampoo but she knew it was a bad sign.

Then, after wrestling with her thoughts during her subway ride to work, she decided that she would text Bucky. Their Sunday activities had been great, _really great_ , but after they had sex and gathered their composure, he got a phone call about a work emergency and he had to leave.

She was understanding, of course. He had even quickly kissed her forehead before dashing down the hall, leaving her to walk back downstairs by herself. And that was _fine._ Really, it was.

But the second Avery was alone with her thoughts, as she returned to her apartment, standing at her counter building a salad for dinner, everything kind of caved in.

Okay, they had sex. Then he asked her out. It's not like he _just_ wanted to have sex with her and never talk to her again. Sure, the date proposition had been open ended but hopefully Friday would work. That was fair. But her brain couldn't stop reeling.

She really didn't know him that well. They didn't owe each other anything. In fact, the more Avery sat and thought about her actions, the more she realized that maybe the reason things were so heated is because they both needed that release. Or did she actually like the guy? She felt so comfortable with him already and he was kind and honest and playful. And it sorta seemed like he was interested in her, too.

But what about Steve? That was still something Avery had a million questions about. What if Bucky just wanted to get to know her so she could be some sort of side chick? Did he actually have to run off to work or was he just interested in getting her out of his apartment? Did security companies often have last minute work emergencies?

She ate her sad salad and sat with her sad plants and let her sad brain race. She was hopeful that maybe he would send her a message sometime that night but her phone remained silent.

So, that morning, after her disappointing shower, she decided to say _fuck it_ and just text him. There was no harm in that. What was the worst thing that would happen? Maybe he doesn't text her back. So what?

She let out a deep breath as she waited on the subway platform and typed out a message.

Avery: _happy monday! Hope your work emergency went safely. Thanks for the follow up self-defense lesson. I had a lot of fun ;)_

She figured that was simple enough. It was flirty, open ended. He didn't reply but she chalked it up to the early morning.

When she got to work, before she could even check her email she was pulled into a project meeting with Will. Then, he brought her along for another site visit and out-of-office meeting. By the time she got to her desk upstairs, her head was spinning with work. She skipped lunch and tried to catch up on her reporting. But, she had been looking forward to seeing Heidi. She wanted to tell her what happened with Bucky.

But, as she prodded her friend for casual conversation, it felt forced. She received short one-word answers in return and Heidi made a point to leave her headphones in and not make eye-contact.

"If I did something to upset you, you can at least tell me. It's common courtesy." Avery didn't intend for her voice to come out so irritated but it had been a trying day. And Bucky still hadn't even responded to her stupid playful message and that was annoying her.

Heidi's head whipped around quickly, eyebrows raised. "I'm sorry I don't have time to listen to you whine about your promotion, Avery. I've been swamped with all your extra paperwork and no one seems to give a shit that I have more work to do for the same amount of pay." Her eyes rolled as she turned back to her screen.

Avery wanted to fire back at her but she bit her tongue. Heidi was a force and she didn't want to fight.

So, their afternoon passed by silently. And despite Avery's hope that ignoring her phone would cause a text message to appear, it didn't work. She received one annoying message from her sister (' _Do not forget about your dress fitting this weekend!'_ ) but that was it.

Her subway broke down for about twenty minutes on her journey home, too. When she finally made it back to the surface, she didn't even think about what she might do for dinner. But she did know she could use at least two glasses of riesling.

* * *

Late Sunday afternoon, when Bucky had two voicemails from Steve, and half a dozen messages from Sharon, he knew something was up.

He stepped out into the kitchen to call Steve back, leaving Avery to gather herself in the bedroom.

"Steve, what's going on?" He spoke quietly, pulling his sweatpants on as he titled to the side, phone cradled under his ear. "I'm kind of in the middle of-

"There's an emergency in D.C.," Steve said quickly. "They need all hands on deck." He didn't go into much more detail, muttering something about a bomb and hostage situation. Bucky could sense the concern in his voice about the gravity of the situation.

"Sam's on his way to grab you," Steve continued on. "Should be there in less than 10."

Bucky knew this was part of the job. It was a job he never officially signed up for, there was an underlying sense of repentance to his role on the team. Though Steve talked him down from the guilt over and over and over again, Bucky knew he owed it to himself to do better, to be better, to contribute to _better_. So, when duty called and there was a crisis, of course he was going to help. He didn't have much choice.

There wasn't a signed agreement or anything specific with the Federal Government, but there was an understanding. They called if it was necessary for backup. This meant they exhausted their options when it came to military support and needed something different. And it was typically always Steve's call if they would participate.

So, whatever was threatening the officials in D.C. was likely serious.

He let out a sigh as he looked at the time on his phone and saw a message from Sam that he was nearby. His eyes darted back to his bedroom where Avery was nearly redressed. He caught her just as she was pulling her hair out of the messy bun on top of her head, running her fingers through it.

He wanted to run _his fingers_ through it.

"Hey doll," he said with a shake of his head, hurrying back into his room. He needed to focus and get his shit together. Hopefully the journey to D.C. wouldn't be long but he had no idea what they were getting into. "I have a work thing I have to help out with. Emergency."

Avery's eyes crinkled curiously as she looked at him then she pursed her lips with a nod. "Okay."

He didn't say anything else as he rushed around his room, grabbing a duffle bag that was tucked away in his closet. She just got out of his way and headed towards the door. She wasn't sure if she should just leave or if she should wait to hug him goodbye or-

"I'm serious about that date," he said to her as he emerged from his room, pulling a dark grey jacket on. "Maybe Friday?" His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out with an eye roll.

"I'm on my way down, Sam. Give me a fuckin' minute."

Avery just watched him with stunned eyes, taking a step out the door as he held it open. His phone returned to his pocket and he paused beside her, bringing his hand up to cradle her face for a moment. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, leaving her standing there as he headed towards the staircase.

Sam was waiting at the North door in one of their team SUVs. Bucky slid into the passenger seat and tossed his duffle into the backseat as they started to move.

"The World Health Organization was in the middle of their crisis summit and someone called in a bomb threat. They traced it to a tanker in the Potomac, it's packed with explosives and a rebel team." Sam started to fill Bucky in on the rest of their updates. "Clint and Wanda are at the training center prepping the jet so we should be wheels up right when we get there. I'm thinking-" Sam glanced over at Bucky as they were stopped at a red light. "What happened?"

"Hmm?" Bucky turned to him, pushing a pair of sunglasses onto his face. "What?"

Sam let out a short laugh and rolled his eyes, looking back towards the road. "You just had sex, didn't you? With apartment girl?"

"What?" Bucky turned away from Sam and prayed his cheeks wouldn't flush pink as Sam rambled on.

"Your hair is a mess," Sam continued to laugh. "And you're still glistening with sweat. Plus, seems the super serum doesn't heal hickeys too quickly."

Bucky pursed his lips and held a hand up towards his neck. "Shut it, Wilson."

They were in D.C. for all of fourteen hours and managed to disengage the explosives and contain the team of terrorists on the tanker ship. And everyone remained unscathed, for the most part. A stray bullet nicked Bucky's right arm and Wanda patched him up on the flight home. It was going to be nothing but a memory and scar tissue in a few days, so it wasn't much cause for concern.

Steve insisted on a full debrief the minute they touched down and a team breakfast, even though they had all been up for the last 24 hours.

Bucky was exhausted when he got back to Brooklyn and the moment his head hit the pillow, he was done. As he turned over in bed a few hours later, he caught the scent of rosewater or lavender or _something_. It was faint and familiar.

Avery.

Throughout the last minute trip, he had kept her out of his mind and suddenly he felt like shit. He reached for his pants that he had discarded on the floor before crashing and fished his phone out of his pocket, seeing a message from her she must have sent him that morning. It hadn't been his intention to ignore her, especially after what had happened between them yesterday.

He sighed and closed his eyes as he laid there, considering how awful this whole thing must seem from her perspective. She kisses him, they end up having sex, he bails and then doesn't even have the courtesy to text her back?

Her message had been so cute, too. And playful.

As he stared up at his phone, considering how he should reply, another message came in from her.

Avery: _do you offer self defense lessons to a lot of women to get them into your bed or was I the first?  
_Avery: _not sure I even want an honest answer to that one anyway  
_Avery: _although I almost believed you with that date line_

She followed up her last message with a little thumbs up emoji and Bucky couldn't help but feel it was delivered to him in an ironic way.

"Fuck," he said, sitting up in bed. He wasn't sure how he should respond. She was clearly feeling hurt and that was the last thing he wanted.

He typed out a few things then erased them. Taking a deep breath, he headed towards his shower, hoping that he could refresh his body and mind before replying.

He looked at his phone afterwards, wrapping himself into a towel.

Avery: _sorry, that was all irrational. If i'm being honest I'm just a bit disappointed with your silence  
_Avery: _I don't want to waste my time or yours here  
_Avery: _and I thought we both had a good time  
_Avery: _maybe this all happened too quickly_

He bit his lip to stifle his smile.

Bucky: _i'm sorry about not replying to you this morning. Had a late night  
_Bucky: _i'll make it up to you  
_Bucky: _come up? I'm cooking dinner_

He waited to see if she'd reply. Sometimes dating in the 21st century was so much more complicated than what it was like in the 40s.

He leaned forward onto his kitchen island and tapped his fingers.

Bucky: _please. I'd like to see you, Avery_

He swallowed hard as he saw the three dots indicating her tying a response.

Avery: _okay, fine. You owe me an explanation and dinner then  
_Avery: _would you find it tacky if I brought my own wine?  
_Avery: _also how's your water pressure?_

* * *

If there was one thing Avery had leaned into _After Blip_ was not waiting anymore. She didn't want to tip-toe around topics or waste her time. In an instant, a literal instant, her life was disrupted for five years. No one predicted it, no one could explain why it happened.

Not that it was easy. She had to battle her brain about it constantly. She toed the line between reckless and cautious. Sometimes it was 'well, what do I have to lose?' and other times it was 'I just got my life back and maybe I should think about this'.

With Bucky, she was in the ' _what do I have to lose?'_ camp.

So, even though she was irritated by his lack of response, she chalked up some of her annoyance to her overall bad day. And when he suggested dinner, when he said _I'd like to see you_ , she was quick to concede.

_What do I have to lose?_

She did show up at his door with her wine - that yes, she had opened and sipped from the bottle directly immediately when she got home - and her shampoo.

Bucky's shower was way better than hers. In fact, he clearly had some connections because his apartment as a whole seemed better off than the rest of the building.

But his _shower._

His bathroom had no tub but he did have a generous sized steam shower, with a rainfall showerhead and heated floors. There was a bench at one end, built out of the same grey marble tiles that surrounded the room. It was a huge step up from her disappointing dribble of a showerhead down in 509.

When she retreated from the bathroom, dressed back in a pair of leggings and a button up denim shirt in mismatched socks, she found Bucky in his kitchen chopping vegetables at the island. There was a record playing from below his TV. Avery didn't recognize whomever was singing but she appreciated the soothing jazz sounds.

She used a towel to dry her hair and walked towards where he was standing.

He was quick to put down the utensils in his hand, quickly sweeping around the island. He paused for a moment, as if he had changed his mind, then he pulled her into a hug.

Avery was a bit startled at first, it almost felt _awkward_ , dropping her towel as he wrapped his arms around her. But soon enough, she relaxed into the embrace.

Huh. _Bad day be gone._

It was a little strange, really. Sex was usually this thing people built up to when they dated - if that's what they were doing - but they already conquered that. So what now?

She took a seat at one of the stools at his island opposite him as he went back to work doing whatever he needed for dinner prep.

"Thank you for letting me use your shower," Avery said, drumming her fingers along the surface in front of her. "Especially after my series of..rude text messages."

A smirk drew across his lips as he shrugged, returning to chop the sweet potato braced in his hands. "You're welcome. And they weren't rude."

She laughed. That was kind. "They were. I get in my head a lot. It's been a long time since I've dated anyone or whatever." Her eyes grew wide for a moment as the words left her mouth. Maybe it was too soon for the _date_ word. "Not that we're dating or anything but..I just...this is new to me again."

He held a hand up to stop her, a grin on his face. She could have sworn maybe his cheeks were flushed pink, too. "I appreciate your honesty. For the record, you're the only girl I've taught self-defense to and.." He paused, as if he was uncertain he should finish his thought. "And you're the first to end up in that bed with me in a long time." He met her eyes, pointing the knife at her playfully. "I am very serious about that date." He paused, twisting his mouth into a half smile. "It's all new to me again, too, doll."

Avery just smiled back at him, biting her lip.

_Doll._

"How'd the work emergency go?"

He shrugged in return. "It was..busy. We had a long night. I didn't get to bed until late this morning."

She wanted to ask more questions about whatever his work was, but she had a feeling he wouldn't say much. What kind of security work did he do that caused last minute jobs like that?

He paused his chopping, his face scrunching up for a moment. "Do you have any allergies?"

She shook her head, scanning her eyes over the ingredients laid out in front of him. "I don't. Just an aversion to mushrooms. What are you making?"

"It's a variation of a groundnut stew recipe. A peanut and sweet potato soup," he replied, tilting his head. "I learned how to make it when I lived in-" He stopped himself from saying Wakanda. Not that the general population of the world didn't know about Wakanda now, but it wasn't really the time to talk about why he really lived there. "When I lived in Kenya."

"You lived in Kenya?" She had no idea what a heck peanut soup would be like but she was interested in getting to know him more. As her brain reeled all day, she was starting to realize how little she knew about him yet. Aside from his name and job and _what he looked like naked_ and some information about his interests, he was still a mystery.

Bucky regretted starting this conversation but he carried on. "I did, for a bit. Just doing some soul searching, working in some villages."

"Is that where you were when you vanished?"

His brain flashed back to that day, just steps into the forest outside of the battle field in Wakanda. How the world shifted, how he felt his heart breaking, his body and soul disappearing, meeting eyes with Steve as he stumbled forward into nothing. Then coming back moments later, regaining his footing, looking around as everyone else stood up slowly.

Fighting another _battle._

He hadn't thought about that in a while. No one liked to talk about it, much.

Bucky blinked a few times as he stopped chopping what was in front of him.

"I'm sorry for asking," Avery's voice interrupted his thoughts. He met her eyes and immediately felt bad for his silence. She looked as if she said the wrong thing when it had just been an innocent question. "I know it can be a lot to think about. Trust me, I was angry for a long time after I came back."

Hell, she was still angry now.

"You have nothing to apologize for, doll," Bucky finally responded to her, using his hands to push the chopped veggies in front of him into a bowl. He turned around and let out a long breath as he added them to the pot simmering on the stove.

"I was angry for a long time, too," he continued as he turned back around. "Sometimes I don't know who had it worse - people like you and me who lost all this time and came back to a completely changed world. Or people like Stevie - who had to watch his friends, people he cared about, disappear and never know if they were coming back."

"Steve was there, too? When you vanished?"

"Me an' Sam, a bunch of others," he added in with a nod, desperate to change the conversation. "This needs to simmer for a bit." He pointed towards the couch. "Wanna sit?"

After digging out a glass for her wine, Bucky dropped down onto the corner of his couch and Avery took a seat beside him, anxiously pulling at the sleeves of her shirt. She took a large sip and left her glass on the table as she shifted to face him on the couch, one leg pulled up under her.

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

Bucky's eyes narrowed for a moment then he shrugged, extending his right arm over the couch, moving to face her a bit more. "Sure."

She opened her mouth then closed it, as if she was having second thoughts. Truthfully, she was. What she was about to ask was going to be uncomfortable but she didn't know how else to broach the topic.

But what if she didn't like the answer? What if this ruined it? What if he changed his mind and -

"Avery," Bucky's voice brought her back. His right hand moved from the back of the couch to her left shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He didn't say anything else but his touch gave her the push to just spit it out.

"Yesterday, was what we did…" She paused, squeezing her eyes shut. "Did you cheat on Steve? With me?"

Bucky wasn't expecting that question. He figured it would come up eventually and maybe now was the time to address it. He couldn't help but smile at her concerned face, concealed behind closed eyes and her hands acting as a shield. He tried to contain himself, _she was clearly feeling guilty,_ but he couldn't remain stoic.

When he didn't respond, she opened her right eye first, peeking at him through her hand. "What's that face for?"

"What face?"

"You're making a face. That's not fair. I said this was a serious question and if you're just going to smirk at me and -

"Avery," he repeated her name, moving his hands up to peel hers away from her eyes. "Hey. Look at me." She slowly opened her eyes as he pulled their hands down.

"Steve's my best friend," Bucky said slowly, as if trying to find the right words. "I love him, he's my family. But our relationship isn't physical in that way." He let out a long breath, rubbing his thumbs along the back of her hands as they rested between them. How could he explain this?

"Steve and I had only just reconnected before the snap. When I came back, I spent a lot of time trying to figure my life out. But the one constant I've always had was Steve. Since we were kids, ya know?" He paused. "I'm not sure that answers your question."

"It just makes me want to ask more," she replied quietly.

"Go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"I want us to be honest with each other, Avery. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything like that."

She grabbed her wine glass and tipped it into her mouth quickly. Her hand ran through her damp hair and pushed it to the side as she exhaled. She took his hands again.

"I asked Steve the same thing the other night," Avery admitted. "He said the same thing as you. Well, he said it's complicated."

Bucky nodded. The idea of Steve having to awkwardly walk her through these questions made him smile. "What else did he say?

"You two don't have sex."

Bucky shook his head.

"Steve said you share a bed, though. Sometimes."

"We both take turns as the big spoon, if you're wondering."

Her face broke into a smile. She appreciated he was being patient and honest with her.

"If you have Steve, someone who you can hang out with and sleep beside and share your life with, someone you have a connection with already, what's the point of this?" She motioned between herself and him. "Cause I think I have real feelings for you and that's scary to me. So if the intention is just to have me as some person on the side that you have sex with, I don't think I can do that." She shook her head. "No, I definitely can't do that."

"I don't want that, that's not.." Bucky pursed his lips together as his head shook. "Listen, Avery. I'm not sure how t'say this, but, it's been a long time since I've had whatever these feelings are."

He didn't want to admit he was scared. How could he say he was scared about something like his _feelings_ when he literally ran into dangerous situations every damn day?

Avery looked hesitant still. She wasn't sure what kind of explanation she was looking for and maybe he didn't have anything else to offer her in that moment of time.

"I don't want to get in the way of whatever you have with Steve."

"You aren't. You won't." He paused, closing his eyes briefly. "But Steve is still an important part of my life and he always will be."

This was hard for Avery to wrap her head around. She truly didn't have much dating experience and she'd never had to worry about a potential partner having a close friendship that concerned her. She couldn't help but wonder if this would be even more difficult to understand if Bucky was talking about a female friend, instead.

Not that she was concerned. Both Bucky _and_ Steve had already made it clear that _she_ wasn't going to threaten _their_ relationship.

At the end of the day, she knew she owed it to herself to give whatever was going on with Bucky a chance.

_What do I have to lose?_

Bucky studied her as she was lost in thought. She flipped between nervous and confused quickly. Apprehension stayed there, hidden behind her anxious smile.

He wet his lips and let out a long sigh. "Okay. How about this? No sex."

Avery cocked an eyebrow at his comment. "You didn't enjoy yourself yesterday?"

"Oh, no. I did. I really did. Needed it," he said quickly, swallowing the uncomfortable lump in his throat. "But that's not what I want. Well, not _all_ I want. I wanna get to know you, doll. We'll take this slow."

Avery didn't realize that was what she needed to head until he said it. _Slow._

"Okay…"

"Until we both feel like we're ready."

She sat with her thoughts for a moment. Here's what she knew: Steve and Bucky were _something_ but not _everything._

She and Bucky seemed to be on the same page or at least the same chapter.

It felt like a lot - him taking sex off the table. She hadn't said it out loud but she had really needed it at the time, too. But that wasn't all she needed or wanted.

She _wanted_ some comfort and maybe companionship. And whether or not she cared to admit it, she _needed_ someone to care about. And someone who would care about her, too.

"Okay." Avery nodded and extended her hand out to him, as if it was a business transaction. "Until we can figure this out, whatever it is."

He chuckled and shook her hand, rolling his eyes.

"Now, should we set some ground rules or…" Avery's eyes flicked towards his jaw. "Because everytime _you_ lick your lips _I_ want to do that, too."

"I mean, making out isn't sex," Bucky shrugged, reaching his arms out to grab her waist. Before she could protest, Avery was straddling him on the couch.

She giggled as his hands ran up and down her back. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, tangling her hands in his hair.

"I guess this is just a lesson in self control."

* * *

Self control.

Avery worked late Tuesday. She was determined to help out Heidi with her extra work load, even if that meant a few extra hours.

When she got home late, around eight o'clock, Bucky asked if she wanted to go get some ice cream. It had been an especially hot spring evening.

They held hands as they walked.

* * *

Self control.

Bucky stopped at Avery's apartment when he got in Wednesday night. She suggested they start his official Muppet education with _The Muppets Take Manhattan._

" _I still don't understand how you don't know who Kermit the Frog is but I have to let it go."_

His heart swelled up when she rambled on and on about how Fozzie Bear was always her favourite. Or about how Gonzo (whatever a gonzo was) would always be the underdog.

He didn't care about Muppets. Okay, he liked the mouthy rat puppet.

What he did care about was the effortless cadence of her laugh.

They cuddled on the couch.

* * *

Self control.

Bucky: _me and Steve have started to watch this show called Top Chef  
_Bucky: _but this one has kids cooking  
_Bucky: _wanna come watch with us tonight?  
_Bucky: _you might learn a thing or two  
_Avery: _wow, that was low.  
_Avery: _attacking me where it really hurts, my cooking skills  
_Avery: _sure, I'm in. what can I bring?  
_Bucky: _just your cute self  
_Bucky: _and if you pass by a bodega on your way home, Steve has a weakness for peanut M n Ms  
_Avery: _Steve has good taste  
_Avery: _in candy, at least  
_Avery: _friends? Not so much  
_Bucky: _ouch :(  
_Avery: _what's your weakness? Your favourite sugary sweet snack?  
_Bucky: _you  
_Avery: _you're smooth, Barnes  
_Bucky: _i like sour candy, doll :)_

* * *

Friday night, much to her irritation, Avery called her sister for fashion advice. She couldn't believe she had stooped so low but she hadn't been on a date in a very long time and she was feeling clueless. She even considered asking Bea for feedback about her outfit but assumed she'd only be met with a comment about showing off too much skin or not enough skin? Bea could be a bit wild like that. Bless her soul.

Lora had given appropriate feedback (" _Dress for the weather!"_ ), while Allie chimed in from the background, repetitively asking questions about who the hell she was going on a date with. Avery kept the details incredibly vague - _just a guy who lives upstairs_ \- and thanked them for their advice before ending their video call.

She had intended to talk to Heidi about it but she was still giving Avery the cold shoulder. More than that, Avery would have dreamed to get some advice from Crystal. Her former best friend was always there to support her through her dating and relationship worries.

She sighed and pushed that back into the filing cabinet of her brain, reminding herself not to stress.

Somehow she and Bucky wound up seeing each other every night that week. Why she was nervous now was a bit much.

All Bucky told her was that she needed to wear something comfortable to walk in.

Not that those details helped at all. It was incredibly vague and she tried to calm down her brain.

She opted for a pair of black jeans, a white silk tank top and her caramel leather jacket. For the first time in a while, she straightened her hair. On her feet was a pair of white pointed toe flats she dug out of her old shoe collection in her closet. Heels made her feel brave and sexy but the last thing she wanted was to be uncomfortable half an hour into whatever their evening was going to entail.

Then, all that was left for her to do was wait.

* * *

Nervous wasn't a new feeling for Bucky. He had felt a lot of _nervousness_ after escaping HYDRA. Yet, as he ran a hand through his hair following his shower, he knew it must be that familiar nervous feeling making his stomach twist.

It was just a date.

He'd hung out with Avery every night that week and it had been so comfortable. So easy. What was the concern about one date?

Sharon told him that a date made it _real_. Really real. She was the only actual confidant he had about the situation. Not that Steve wasn't helpful and understanding, because of course he was, but Sharon helped him consider the entire thing from Avery's perspective, too.

" _I'll bet she's just as nervous as you are, Bucky," Sharon's tone was soft and comforting. "As long as you call her by the correct name, you'll be worlds ahead of Sam. You remember how his last date went, right? Agent Archibald still won't even acknowledge him."_

He decided on black jeans with a plain white tee. Instead of his usual leather jacket, he pulled on a jean jacket. He didn't love it - in fact, Steve had insisted he buy it - but he figured it was nice to try something different. He went unshaved, mainly because he had noticed Avery liked to scratch her hands against it. And, even though their current agreement had sex on hold, it was a simple touch that made him purr.

When he finally knocked on her door and she answered with a nervous smile, he nearly had to clutch the doorframe to keep himself upright. There she was, tight black jeans, silky shirt, soft leather jacket. It was the jacket that did him in - it reminded him of something Steve might wear. He resisted closing the door and walking her straight back to her bedroom.

Instead, he kissed her lips gently and took her hand as he led her downstairs.

They walked to the subway station and jumped on the next train, heading south and further into Brooklyn. There weren't any free seats so they huddled near the back of the car, Bucky grasping onto the bar with his right hand while Avery clutched onto his left arm.

Even though she asked and pouted, Bucky wouldn't tell her where they were heading. He took her hand again and guided her through the station once they exited.

Once she caught sight of the museum, Avery quickly pieced together their destination.

"Are we going to the Botanical Gardens?" she asked, pulling on his hand.

He turned his head towards her, biting his lip as he smiled at her excitement. That feeling rushed over him again, the same one as Sunday afternoon when he watched her laughing. Like his chest was glowing, radiating warmth. He instinctively used his free hand to pull his jacket in, as if he needed to protect his heart and not let the feeling escape.

"I know it ain't much," he finally replied. "But considering your apartment is practically it's own garden, I figured this might be nice."

Her eyes creased as she smiled even wider, shaking her head. "It's perfect."

He paid their way in, despite her attempt to grab her own wallet out of her purse. She figured it was a useless battle to fight. If there was one thing she picked up on already getting to know Bucky, he had a lot of old-fashioned habits ingrained in him. She didn't mind, really.

She grabbed a map from an information kiosk on their way in and unfolded it, scanning around the options ahead of them. Despite their close location to her apartment, she hadn't been to the botanical gardens in a long time. When she lived with Seth in Manhattan, she liked to escape to the conservatory in Central Park. But, the Brooklyn gardens were much more spread out and she was excited to walk through them.

"I think we should start with the peonies." She flicked her eyes towards Bucky who was just staring at her, a wide smile spread across his face.

"Lead the way, doll," he replied, extending his hand out for her to take.

Bucky was incredibly content to listen to Avery talk about the flowers and plants and even the damn _grass._ She was so excited as she spoke, rambling on every now and then about different variations of plants and how she dreamed of visiting Amsterdam some day to see the famous tulip fields.

It was when they walked by the tree peonies - _paeonia suffruticosa_ \- that she stopped talking, pausing to sweep her eyes over all the details of the flower in front of her. He thought it was beautiful - the look on her face.

From the peonies they strolled through the flora garden and the bluebell patches. In the Osborne Garden it was Bucky who paused beneath a large tree decorated in small white flowers. It reminded him of something, a blurry memory that popped into his mind the longer he stared up at it.

"Crabapple tree," Avery stopped beside him, following his gaze upward. "I always thought it was funny that it looked so pretty in bloom but most people are so irritated by those tiny apples littering the ground."

"My grandparents had one of these in their backyard," Bucky said slowly, as if trying to convince himself if that was a real memory or not. But there was something so familiar about it that he just had to believe it was real.

Avery let out a positive hum as he reminisced. She had never heard him talk about any of his family before.

"My little sister Rebecca fell from three branches up once," he continued, his head gently shaking at the thought. It was equally a happy and sad memory - thinking of his sister was warm in his chest but it hit like a punch.

That was an old memory, _old._

She didn't say anything as he talked but she did wiggle her arm behind him, sliding it just underneath his denim jacket to caress his lower back. She had a hard time reading him but for some reason, she figured maybe, just maybe, her touch might be a shred of comfort to whatever his brain was thinking about.

They made their way around most of the gardens, knowing the summer hours only extended until 8PM and their time would eventually run out.

"The rose garden will be in full bloom next month," Avery had her face tucked into the map and information guide as they sat on a bench across from the blooming rose bushes. "The best time to come is in March though, when all the cherry blossoms are at peak bloom."

"Maybe next spring," Bucky said quietly, as he stretched his left arm behind her. It was a simple statement that made Avery's chest tighten for a few seconds. _As if they could think a year into the future together._

As she leaned into him, there was a peaceful silence. No one else was nearby, likely all heading towards the front gate as the gardens closed soon. As his arm shifted to wrap around her shoulder, she could hear the kinetics of his prosthetic moving with him. She hadn't really noticed it before. Frankly, until she really thought about it, she forgot he had a bionic arm altogether.

It felt like a heavy protection across her shoulders.

She glanced up at him, as his lips moved silently. He looked like he was concentrating on _something_.

"What are you thinking about?" Her question was quiet, soft.

His lips turned up slightly as a low laugh escaped his lips. "Bare with me." He took a deep breath and exhaled, shutting his eyes. "Yet nor the lays of birds nor the sweet smell.. Of different flowers in odour and in hue..They were but sweet, but figures of delight, Drawn after you..you pattern of all those."

Avery swallowed hard as she took in his words.

_Did this handsome, metal-armed, piercing-blue-eyed Adonis of a man just recite poetry to her?_

If she had been standing, her knees would have given out.

"I think I butchered it," Bucky muttered out, cheeks flushing pink. "Sonnet 89..no, 98."

"You could have just made that entire string of sentences up and I wouldn't know any different," she said as she looked up towards him, eyes bright. "C'mon. We better get moving before the sprinklers turn on."

Bucky chuckled as he stood up, biting his lip. "Would seeing you get wet in that white shirt really be all that bad?"

Avery rolled her eyes, snaking her arm around his back as they walked. "Okay, take it easy, Barnes."

* * *

Self control.

They tucked into a little taco place on their way home, snagging two seats at the bar. There was a buzzing energy to the restaurant and despite Bucky's aversion to crowded spaces, he liked having to stay especially close to Avery. They each faced their bodies to each other, her left knee finding a space to rest between his legs as he scooped guacamole with tortilla chips.

He kept a hand there, watching as she carefully licked the salted rim of her short margarita class.

He wanted to ask if she was doing it on purpose.

"What? The salt is the best part," she answered his stare with a smirk, eyebrow cocked as she took a long sip of the pale green drink.

It started to rain on their walk to the subway.

* * *

They were running to avoid the downpour when they returned to their neighbourhood. The thunder and lightning must have started when they were still on the subway.

The fact that neither of them thought to check the weather forecast before they ventured out was a mistake but at least the rain was refreshing. And maybe cooled them both down.

The minute they got inside their building it was clear the storm wasn't letting up, the hallways were dark and the emergency lights were on full force in the stairwell.

"Uhm," Avery was quiet as she climbed the stairs ahead of Bucky. "Full disclosure: I am not the type who romanticizes thunderstorms. They have always scared the shit out of me."

"Is that a line?" Bucky smirked at her as she looked over her shoulder. "Because it's working, doll."

"No," she laughed, pushing her damp hair back. "I'm serious."

"Well, listen." They stopped outside of her apartment door and he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm gonna go check out my place then I'll come back down here to protect you from the thunder."

"If you're going to be mean, you may as well stay upstairs," she replied, playfully reaching out to push him away. It was hard to see in the hallway but she was certain he had his dumb half-smile on as he looked down at her.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back."

Bucky didn't really need to check on his apartment. But he did know he owed it to Pepper to do a sweep of the building and make sure there wasn't anything going on in the darkness that would be a security concern.

Aside from a particularly rowdy group over-occupying the south corner unit on the second floor, everything seemed okay. He did check the storage room in the basement and tried to flip the breakers but it seemed like the outage was something they needed to wait out.

He did go back upstairs to his apartment and changed his clothes, peeling off his clothes and changing into sweats and pulling on a hoodie.

Avery's apartment was dark, aside from some light coming from street lamps in the distance and occasional flash from a streak of lightning. After she opened the door for him, she paced around, occasionally stopping to stare out the window. Bucky noticed she had changed from her damp clothes into a pair of plaid pajama shorts and a sweatshirt.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he walked towards her near the living room window. "Power should come back soon."

She turned to him and nodded quickly, crossing her arms on her chest. "I'll be fine." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I know this is silly but would you wanna stay here tonight? With me?" She was asking because her brain was wired and she didn't want to stay alone. "Just until I fall asleep?"

He returned a nod to her, feeling his chest tighten for a moment as a crack of thunder made her jump. "Of course."

There was no way he would leave her, especially if she was feeling unsafe. But his nerves returned as they walked towards her bedroom. Not because he was concerned they'd have sex, that was..something he could handle if it happened again.

He just hadn't shared a bed with someone aside from Steve in a long time. Even after he came back and he had more than a few reckless nights with women, he didn't stay the night and he never encouraged them to, either. He was scared of his mind, still. Despite feeling much more safe about his ongoing PTSD, he still had detailed flashbacks and often woke up tense and reactive.

Steve could handle being punched in the chest but the last thing Bucky wanted to do was have some sort of unexpected violent reaction with Avery asleep beside him.

"Do you mind if I take this side?" He pointed to the side of her bed closest to the door. It was a habit but in case something bad happened, he could hopefully remove himself from her room quickly enough.

He watched as she quietly unmade her bed, tossing around her bedding and adjusting her pillows. She was nervous, probably because of the storm. But it was evident to him, considering she was hardly saying anything as she worked.

"Why do you have a dozen pillows anyway?" He climbed into his preferred side of the bed and shot her a smirk in the dark.

"I like comfort, okay? And it makes me feel sorta safe since I sleep alone." She shoved one of her extra pillows towards him playfully. "I didn't expect any complaints."

"Not complainin," he replied, sitting up against the headboard. He glanced down at her as she pulled up the covers, staring off towards the howling rain and thunder outside.

"C'mere." His voice came out quietly, extending his right arm over so she would shift over to cuddle against him.

"I guess thunder is less intimidating if I just pretend it's Thor out there in a bad mood," she said with a laugh, nuzzling her head into his side.

Bucky desperately wanted to make a comment about Thor adventuring through outer space but he just let out a long breath instead.

He could tell the more time he spent with Avery, the harder it was going to be to unravel the truth about his life. Who he was, who he used to be. As he felt this increasing comfort in her presence, the fear of losing it now coursed through him. Maybe he should have been honest from the beginning.

"Friday used to be date night with Seth." Avery turned towards Bucky, stretching her arm out across his torso. "I'm happy to take this day back." She felt stupid bringing up her ex-boyfriend while in such a vulnerable position with Bucky. But for some reason, it felt like the right time.

"I hope it wasn't a bad first date," Bucky said quietly. "Suppose I coulda taken you out for a fancy dinner or brought you flowers or -

"You brought me _to_ the flowers instead," Avery replied. "I think that's better. We've only known each other a few weeks and you've already managed to show you have tried to pay attention to my interests." She froze up as another crash of thunder sounded out. "Two years with Seth and the only time he tried to be interested in what I like was when he was apologizing for -

She cut herself off, letting out a long breath. It wasn't the time to complain about her dumb ex-boyfriend's questionable fidelity.

Bucky just leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

_What do I have to lose?_

* * *

Bucky, _of course_ , couldn't leave after Avery fell asleep. Partially because she was still clutching onto him and she didn't want to disturb him. He nodded off, too.

And when his Saturday morning alarm started to buzz on his cellphone, he really didn't want to get up. Laying on his side, his metal arm was draped over Avery as she laid in front of him. She felt especially nice and warm in his embrace.

He pulled away only to snooze his alarm but he knew he should get up and go to his yoga class. He rolled back over, abandoning his phone on her side table.

She stirred as he returned to his spot behind her. She shifted to lay on her back as his arm wrapped around her stomach.

"Hi," she said quietly, eyes remaining closed on her pillow. "I didn't think you'd stay."

"Well, you were holding my limbs hostage most of the night," he replied with a smirk, gently squeezing her side. "I'm gonna get up, though."

She let out a quiet sigh. "Oh."

"Saturday morning yoga," he replied. "I'm meeting up with Steve for brunch after. If you wanna come, too."

She finally opened her eyes to glance over at him as he started to prop himself up. "I don't want to interrupt your plans with him."

"Not an interruption," he replied, leaning over to kiss her. "He's the one who wanted to invite you, anyway."

Avery didn't really consider that Bucky talked to Steve about her. At that very moment, she just dismissed that thought altogether. It was too early to start analyzing just what those boys might discuss about her.

Bucky kissed her again before climbing out of her bed and leaving her apartment. He texted her the address of where he and Steve were going to meet and she planned her route there accordingly.

She had a long shower after Bucky left, going over all their interactions throughout the week. She was a bit scared of her feelings - an excitement surged through her whenever he looked at her, when her phone lit up with his name, when they touched. She hadn't felt this kind of energy in a long time and she was constantly wondering if it was because she hadn't felt _anything_ in so long or if it was him. Or maybe it was both. It was intimidating and she was trying to just go with it.

_Trying._

She left her apartment early, enjoying the walk to the Neptune Diner a few blocks away. She always felt the world was refreshed after a rainfall and she loved smelling springtime in the air. About a block away from the diner, she cut through a small park since she was still a bit early from the time Bucky had said they should meet.

"Avery?"

She smiled as she turned her head to see Steve sitting at a bench a few feet away from her, sunglasses covering his eyes and a smile on his face. He looked content sitting in the early morning sun, dressed in dark denim and a plaid button up. She noticed he had a small black notebook in his hand with a pencil sticking out the top. Had he just been drawing or writing?

"Hey Steve," she replied, turning towards him. "I'm early for brunch."

"Me too," he said with a chuckle. He motioned his head towards the empty space on the bench at his side. "Buck always gets caught up after class, anyway. So I consider his requests to meet at a certain time merely a suggestion."

She smiled at his commentary, running her fingers anxiously along the rips in her jeans as she sat beside him. She was a little intimidated by Steve and she wasn't sure why. Part of her was worried about what kind of standards he had for someone Bucky was spending time with - not in an authoritative way, but in a protective way.

It was clear to Avery that Steve and Bucky cared about each other, deeply. And if she was going to spend time with Bucky, she wanted to win over Steve, too.

"Can I ask how the date went?" Steve turned his head towards her. "Feel free not to answer, of course."

She smiled and took a pause to stretch her neck, running a hand through her hair. "It was perfectly nice. He even quoted a sonnet to me, comparing me to the flowers, I think."

Steve let out a deep laugh, tilting his head back. "And he complains that _I'm_ the romantic."

"Can I be honest with you, Steve?"

"Sure."

Avery shifted in her position and faced him, letting out a long breath. "I really like him."

A warm smile crossed Steve's face. "I'm happy to hear that. I can't remember the last time I've seen such a stupid smile on his face."

They sat and talked for a few more minutes. Avery prodded him about the mysterious black notebook grasped in his hands. He sheepishly flipped through it briefly, showing off some detailed line drawings. She wasn't sure why but learning about this side of Steve made her smile. Compared to Bucky, she knew even less about Steve. But there was something really wholesome about knowing he had a creative side he liked to explore.

Eventually, they stood and moved towards the small diner down the block.

As they got to the door, there was a family leaving with two young boys. Steve held the door open for them, pulling off his sunglasses, as Avery waited for them to pass. The two adults, presumably the parents of the boys, smiled and thanked him at the door. The boys below glanced up at Steve with curiosity. His face seemed to light up. Before the family started to walk away, the older of the boys paused and turned to Steve.

"Excuse me, sir," his voice was quiet, glancing up towards his parents as they stood behind smiling. They shot Steve an apologetic glance.

"Sorry to bother you, if you're..." The mom paused, as if overwhelmed and uncertain about what to say. "They read a lot of comics, these two."

Avery glanced from Steve to the young boy, who was now being nudged by his brother to keep going.

"Do you wanna go grab a table? I'll just be a minute." Steve turned to her, motioning Avery to head inside. She nodded and glanced over her shoulder once more as she walked in, hearing the bell of the door sound as it closed behind her.

As she waited to be seated, she glanced back again, seeing the two boys hugging Steve. She couldn't hear what they were talking about, but she could have sworn she saw the mom pointing out one of the boy's backpacks. Avery couldn't see much through the glass doors, but there appeared to be a large round circle, blue and red and white, he was proudly displaying on his bag.

It looked like Captain America's shield.

Avery took in a breath then shook her head. No, there was no way. That would be crazy. That's not…

The hostess interrupted her train of thought and took her towards a booth in the back of the diner. Soon enough, both Steve and Bucky both were heading towards her, smiles across both of their faces.

Avery was feeling content, sitting and laughing with the two of them. She pushed away the anxious feelings waving through her as she sipped her coffee, listening to them banter back and forth about some shared memory. They had such a comfortable rapport she couldn't help but feel safe and comfortable in their presence, too.

For the time being, despite all the questions she had about Steve's interaction outside, comfortable was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey welcome to the story where two little idiots try to figure out their feelings while another hopeless romantic falls into place along the way. WOW. this ebbed and flowed and I think I liked the outcome. I wanted a little bit of fluffy stuff while Bucky and Avery got to know each other. although, I think these two are not sure what to do with their emotions. but, while Avery is maybe a little bit clueless about who Steve and Bucky and Sam really are, it can't be that way forever. Things may start to unravel soon. all I'm saying is in some young superfans can figure out who Steve is, Avery isn't far behind.
> 
> thank you to everyone who has commented or subscribed or bookmarked or kudos'd!! those notification emails make me SO happy and I'm so grateful.
> 
> coming up next: in trying to get to know Bucky, things get a bit awkward. Steve does not like to lie and he won't do it for even his best friend's sake.


	9. Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: there..is...some...adults...who...have...no...willpower...in the early warm morning.

"Avery, I told you - you have to pull away from my arm."

Avery let out a long sigh and brought her hands up to Bucky's right forearm, which was currently wrapped around her head in a chokehold. She tapped on his arm to release her and she grumbled a few things under her breath as she took a few steps away from him.

Bucky insisted on continuing her self-defense training. Despite his overwhelming desire to protect her, he knew she had to be well-equipped in any future situation where he might not be there to help.

She had slept poorly the night before, having stayed out late at the arcade bar with Bucky, Steve and Sam again. Well, her poor sleep _may_ have come from going drink for drink with Sam for most of the night. At least she didn't throw up when she crawled in beside Bucky.

Bucky had dragged her out of his bed after his run, insisting they go over all the moves he had taught her before and a few more. She argued Sunday mornings were for _sleeping_. He disagreed.

She turned around and faced him, arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Bucky, c'mon. You're just punishing me for my hangover at this point." She pouted, letting out a sigh. "And I have to shower before my dress fitting appointment and-

His lips turned up into a coy smile as he looked over at her, raising an eyebrow. Standing there in her tight leggings and sports bra, scowl on her face and he honestly couldn't get over how cute she looked. "I sure as hell ain't punishing you, doll. You chose to prove whatever that was to Sam last night. And your appointment isn't for another two hours so we have plenty of time." He motioned for her to come back towards him. "One more time then we'll call it."

She let out an irritated huff and marched back over to him, turning so her back was against his chest. "Fine. Choke me, then."

Bucky let out a deep laugh, tilting his head back and forth as he wrapped his right arm around her head. He let his left hand trail down her left side, squeezing her hip for a second. "Careful what you ask for, Avery."

"Self control," she muttered quietly, letting out a long breath.

Bucky's arm held her gently in a chokehold. "Now, legs apart." His left hand left her hip and reached down to her thigh, nudging it forward so her stance was wide and staggered. "Okay, now twist down and away from my arm."

Avery took in a deep breath and did just as he instructed, pulling down and pushing away from him, hard enough to make him move a few steps back. She looked back at him with eyebrows raised, hoping it was good enough for him to let them call it.

"Good girl," he said to her with a smirk. "Wanna try again? With this arm?"

He raised up his left hand. Avery swallowed hard as the late morning sun streamed through, causing a series of reflections to come off of his metal prosthetic. She didn't want to admit her fascination with his arm but it was clear Bucky had caught on.

"I think that puts you at an advantage," Avery replied to him, putting a hand on her hip. "You're not going to play fair."

"Try me, doll."

That stupid smirk was going to be the death of Avery.

She let out a quick exhale and narrowed her eyes at him, closing in their space again. Turning around, she laid her back against his chest once more and held her breath as the cool metal of his bionic arm wrapped around her. Just as she reached her hands up to grip onto his forearm, she felt his laugh behind her head. Before she knew it, he was simply lifting her up with his left arm and bringing her feet up off the ground.

"Oh my god," she cried out, kicking her legs as he carried her around. "And to think I trusted you here." Her cries turned into giggles as he wrapped his right arm around her bare midriff, squeezing against her soft skin. "Not fair, Bucky."

He put her down just a few seconds later, only to quickly turn her shoulders towards him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards his chest in a tight embrace. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She let out a breath as she snaked her arms around his back. "No, don't worry." She pulled away from his chest and peered up at him. "I do need to go shower, though."

"You can just use mine?" His hands started to move up and down her back, slowly tracing circles on her exposed skin. "I can join you. We'll save some water."

"I feel like that would be the opposite of productive." She paused for a moment to enjoy the feeling of his hands. "But, if you're still willing to journey uptown with me, I will gladly have your company."

The one sliver of flexibility and freedom Avery was granted as Maid of Honour was picking out her own dress. Lora had some stipulations - it had to be blush pink in colour to match the bridesmaids and it had to be floor length - but was otherwise happy with whatever her sister chose.

Lora had recommended a small boutique and Avery had found the perfect dress on her last visit, but it had to be taken in and hemmed.

"You're welcome to go get a coffee or something while I do this." Avery turned to Bucky as they paused outside the dress shop, indicating across the street to the Starbucks.

He just shrugged in response, opening up the door for her to walk in. "Or I'll sit patiently while you do what you need to."

It made Avery's stomach twirl, the idea of Bucky seeing her in the gown. She herself hadn't tried it on in well over a month now and she was suddenly very concerned it wouldn't fit or the style wouldn't work for her frame anymore or maybe they had hemmed it too much. At least she had showered so she could see how it looked with her hair down.

Bucky plunked down on a plush white loveseat, keeping Avery's purse company, as she went off with the shop associate. He felt incredibly out of place in the boutique, suddenly keenly aware of his weathered jeans and hoodie and leather jacket combo. But it was quiet and calm and somehow smelled of fresh flowers though there was none in his eyeline.

The shop associate helped Avery into the long gown and zipped it up in the back, adjusting the straps. "Let's go see how it looks in the big mirror." Her voice was kind as she prodded Avery back out towards the small waiting area where Bucky was seated. She let out a long exhale and walked that way, grabbing the bottom of her dress as she stopped in front of the large tri-paneled mirror.

Bucky's eyes flicked up from the phone in his hand towards her as she stepped back into the area, keeping her eyes down as she gazed at the dress in the mirror. He slowly placed his phone down and leaned forward on the couch, drawing his lips into a grin.

She looked absolutely stunning in the dress and he searched his brain for something to say to her. She looked at him through the mirror, her lips pulled into a straight line until she saw him smile. Then it was like her body relaxed.

Before either of them could say anything, a loud buzzing noise sounded in Avery's purse.

"Oh my god," Avery said, rolling her eyes. She turned back to take a few steps towards Bucky, grabbing for her purse. She grabbed her phone out of the side pocket and sighed when she saw her sister's name on the screen. Requesting a video call.

"Hey Lo," Avery smiled into the screen as her video turned on. She ignored Bucky's smirk from his seat on the couch.

His eyes wandered over the dress as she talked to her sister. It was a nice pink colour with a fitted bodice and thin straps holding up her chest. As she turned back towards the mirror, he could see her right leg peeking out through a long slit and her back was decorated with a criss-cross of straps. It fit her perfectly, especially down her backside.

"Hey Bucky?" Avery's voice broke his train of thought. He looked up at her and she waved him over.

" _What's a Bucky?"_

Avery ignored her sister on the other end of the phone as she handed it towards Bucky when he approached. "Do you mind just holding this and pointing it at me? She wants to see the whole thing and not in the mirror."

He just smiled again and nodded, taking the phone from her.

" _Hey, phone guy? You've gotta flip the camera around."_

"Uh," Bucky narrowed his eyes down at the screen, seeing a frowning face on the girl looking at him through the phone. "One sec." He tapped the screen and managed to turn the camera as Avery appeared on the small screen in the corner instead of his face. He pointed it towards her.

" _Can you move a few feet over?"_

Bucky assumed the irate voice was directing him again and he shifted as Avery stood in front of him laughing. Finally, he planted his feet and stood. Avery did a few poses, showing off the pockets of the dress excitedly and doing a small turn for her sister to see the whole thing through the phone camera.

" _Looks good, Ave. Try not to gain an ounce between now and August or you'll be out of luck."_

Avery rolled her eyes, suddenly retreating to look in the mirror at her body again.

" _And you'll need nude heels. No more than 2.5 inches."_

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Avery from his side of the phone, a little taken back by the commentary from her sister.

" _What do you think?"_

There was a pause.

" _Phone guy? What do you think?"_

He let out a light laugh and took a few steps to get a little closer to Avery. "I think it's a perfect fit."

" _Well, as long as it looks good in person, I guess I can't do anything else."_

Avery rolled her eyes again and reached for her phone, turning off the video and holding it up to her ear. She mouthed a 'thank you' to Bucky as he headed back towards the loveseat.

"So, is that the date guy? What's his name again?"

Avery let out a quiet huff and turned around. "Yes. And his name is Bucky."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Who names a kid Bucky?"

"Lora."

"Clearly the date went well if he's still hanging around two days later. Should I pencil him in as your wedding date yet?"

"Lora, stop. That's way too soon." Avery sighed and glanced in the mirror again. She met Bucky's eyes in the reflection and had to turn away again to stop herself from blushing. "Are you happy with the dress?"

"Yeah, it looks fine, Ave. A perfect fit, apparently."

Avery groaned. "I'm hanging up now."

"Love you!"

* * *

Late Wednesday afternoon, Bucky was hiding out in Steve's office. He and Sam had done a day trip out to Atlanta to tag a few shipments leaving a warehouse they had been watching for a few months. The shipments out of that particular location were happening rarely and most of them seemed to be private and untraceable. It wasn't a huge call for concern yet but they had to figure if those pallets being moved across the country were connected to a string of illegal weapon dealers.

Bruce had been doing research into the mostly unknown metal they had found on a stray gun at the end of fall last year. Sleytium, originally found in Tasmania, was a hard alloy with a very particular molecular build. In certain pressures and temperatures, it was undetectable as a metal. Meaning these weapons could cross through metal detectors or scanning systems without being recognized.

If those types of weapons got into the wrong hands, which they were already seeming to, things could get dangerous. So far, their only lead was this warehouse. And as far as leads went, it was weak. They didn't know what was in the pallets since they didn't have the time to crack any of them open.

Worst case scenario, it was just hard, raw material. Sleytium before being melted down and pressed into weapons. If they could find out where one of the cases went, they would hopefully have a new path to follow for who was sending the stuff and who was requesting it.

But how was the material getting to Atlanta in the first place? And who was helping ship it out without a trace?

Bucky was hunched over the casefiles, sipping on a coffee, when Steve came in.

"Anything new jump out at you, yet?" Steve tossed the question out loud, not necessarily asking for an answer. He dropped down onto his desk chair, leaning back with his arms crossed as he looked at his friend across the room.

Bucky just grumbled and shrugged. He and Sam had worked late the night before prepping the jet for their trip and came in early that Wednesday morning - so Bucky had crashed at Steve's, turning down an offer of dinner from Avery. He was disappointed he didn't get to see her. She had worked late Monday so their paths hadn't crossed in a few days. They texted a bit. But to him, it just wasn't the same.

For the first time in a while, Bucky had woken up in the middle of the night, frozen in terror. He didn't scream or thrash like he used to, but he did jolt awake, heart racing as his brain flooded with dark thoughts. Thoughts he tried to keep at a distance. There wasn't always a picture of what was happening in his nightmares - just small pockets of leftover memories or manufactured thoughts. Flashes of deep red drippings, loud gunshots and screams sounding out, pain radiating through his arm and head.

Steve had woken up slowly beside him, not necessarily asking what was wrong or what the dream was about. But assuring Bucky he was safe. His warm arms found their way around Bucky's torso, applying just enough pressure to help him through the anxiety. It wasn't new or unfamiliar. Steve had enough training in trauma counselling under his belt to help a lifetime of Bucky's. Yet every time, there was a leftover fraction of worry that Bucky's brain was a bit more mixed up than he let on to Steve.

They had an honesty policy, an understanding. Steve insisted Bucky always tell him how he was feeling, always. Even if it scared or confused him, even if he was worried about Steve's reaction. It was better for him to know and try to help, or let him work it out on his own, than to let Bucky hide it.

They had a 'try and talk it out' policy, too.

Bucky often lost his words or didn't know _what_ to say or describe what was going on in his mind. Steve just asked him to talk it out loud instead.

And often, it helped make more sense once the words left Bucky's lips.

Steve was good like that.

Bucky let out a sigh and tossed the folder back down on the table in front of him. "There's a name there I think I recognize. _Magnusson._ " It was the only part of a signature they could make out on an old delivery manifesto.

"Not a particularly uncommon Scandinavian last name," Steve replied to him, raising an eyebrow.

"I think I just need to leave it alone for right now," Bucky said quietly, shaking his head. He grabbed his coffee mug and took a sip, leaning back on the couch.

Steve pursed his lips as he watched Bucky closely. Steve knew he was having an off day, ever since he woke up so out of sorts in the middle of the night. But he was worried there was something else going on, too. He didn't want to push but he knew he had to start the conversation. "Buck. Can I ask you something?"

Bucky glanced over towards Steve, eyes narrowing slightly. Questions between them usually didn't come with a forewarning.

"Of course."

"About Avery."

Bucky tensed up for a moment, half a millisecond of time. Steve noticed. Bucky nodded his head slightly, as if to say 'yes, ask me anything.'

"Saturday night, we were playing that turtle game," Steve was slow to speak as his mind flashed back to their evening out on Saturday. Bucky and Sam were off playing pool while Steve saddled up beside Avery at an old arcade game. She went on and on about how she and her brother used to play it at a little gas station down the street from their house. It was a four player thing with old handles - it had clearly seen better days. But she slid a few quarters over to Steve and they played together for a while.

"She said something to me. Well, she asked about my time in Kenya or whatever I was doing when I visited you there."

Bucky bit his lip, letting out a quick breath. He didn't respond to Steve.

"Why does she think you lived in Kenya?"

Bucky felt a wave of defensiveness wash against him. He knew Steve meant well but his tone often, unintentionally, came across a touch condescending. And it annoyed the shit out of Bucky.

Bucky threw his hands up with a shrug, then crossed them over his chest. "What was I supposed to tell her? I was in Wakanda getting my brain rewired when Thanos snapped me out of existence?"

Steve leaned forward on his desk, hands crossed in front of him. "Buck, you can't keep this from her forever. Before you showed up at the diner Saturday morning, some kids nearly screamed Captain America at me before I sent her inside to get a table."

Bucky sighed and leaned his head back on the couch. "I know, Stevie." He paused. "It scares the shit out of me. What if she breaks it off?"

"I don't think she will," Steve replied to him, shaking his head. "But she probably won't be happy if you keep hiding this from her."

"Where do I start?" Bucky pulled his head back up and met eyes with Steve. "Hey, I'm Bucky. I was a brainwashed HYDRA assassin for years. I'm not technically a security guard but I work with the remaining Avengers now. Also, I'm over 100 years old. Please be my girlfriend?"

Steve couldn't help but laugh at his dry, awkward delivery. "Hey, it could work."

Bucky shook his head. "Punk." He squeezed his eyes shut again. "I know you're right."

"Just ease into it. And accept that she might not know how to feel when she finds out."

Bucky swallowed hard.

Steve didn't need to spell it out: he wasn't going to go along with Bucky's dishonesty much longer. He just needed to bite the bullet, rip off the metaphorical bandage.

That was going to be easy, right?

* * *

"So, got any plans for the long weekend?"

Avery turned her head towards her boss, William. They were driving back from a visit to a construction site in Queens and she was quickly making a few extra edits to her meticulous notes on the tablet in front of her.

William, or Will as he insisted on her calling him, had put a lot of extra responsibility in Avery lately. She still wasn't entirely sure why but she appreciated the feeling of being needed and necessary in her work. It was hard to feel anything for data entry but now she felt she had a bit more purpose. Even if that was just taking notes and taking photos at work sites, while trailing alongside Will.

Simonarc Construction was working with various major real estate developers, architectural firms and the city of New York on projects across Manhattan and the boroughs. It was busy work and Will didn't visit every site - just the important ones. Which is why Avery was always so stressed about providing detailed notes for him. She was basically his off-site assistant, more than once reminding him about project details and the names of his lead contractors.

They usually travelled to and from sites in a company SUV but that Wednesday afternoon they were taking Will's personal sports car. Admittedly, Avery didn't love how it zipped around in traffic - she had a bit of a penchant to get car sick even on short rides if they were wild enough. But, he always treated them to lunch or Starbucks on their way back to the office.

She let out a long exhale as she thought about her answer to his question. She pushed her hair over to one side before finally answering. "Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I don't consider Memorial Day a holiday."

"But you get the day off work? It's basically the start of summer." Will held up a hand off the steering wheel, pleading his case to her as they stopped at a red light. She smiled at his kindness. Considering they had been spending a lot of time together lately, their rapport had changed from tense to more comfortable and she found him much less intimidating. But, really, everyone loses their edge once they reveal they have ABBA's greatest hits programmed into their car stereo.

"Actually, Memorial Day exists as a day to honour military personnel who have lost their lives fighting for our country. Not to kick off summer or buy a new car at a great price."

Will just glanced back at the road as his face turned into a frown. "Okay."

"Sorry. I just..my brother was in the air force and he died overseas during active duty. And my other brother is still in the army and my dad is.. Well, I come from a military family. So I try to respect Memorial Day for what it should be." She scrunched up her face when she was done, feeling like an idiot for being so aggressive about her views on the holiday. "Although, the day usually gets capped off with a barbeque. So.."

"I didn't know that..about your brother. I'm sorry," Will stuttered out quietly, shaking his head.

She felt bad for bringing down the mood of the car when Will was just trying to have a casual conversation.

"What about you?" She tried to perk back up but she knew the damage was done.

"Well, now I feel like a real asshole for my plans to visit our lake house upstate." Will shook his head. An empty silence between them. Avery sighed, reaching over to grab her iced coffee.

"Hey, I meant to ask you. I noticed you worked late a few days last week and again on Monday. What's up with that?" Will raised an eyebrow at her. He had been pretty adamant about her regulating her hours at work and not stressing about her previous paperwork pile.

"Well, I didn't account for any of those hours so don't worry about overtime. Heidi, my cubicle mate upstairs, she's been swamped since I've been off my desk working for you directly instead. So I wanted to help with some catch up."

Will shook his head, but a smile crossed his face. "You're a good person, Avery."

She let out a laugh. "Sure. I guess. I just wanted to help her out. She'd do the same to me."

Will drummed his hands across his steering wheel while they waited for an exit. "Hey. I have an offer for the both of you. We're one of the sponsors at this big cocktail party event tomorrow, for the Manhattan Business Association. We have three tables and a few leftover tickets. Do you think you and Heidi would want to come? I promise you it'll be pretty fun." He glanced over to look at Avery's uncertain face. "Okay, and there's an open bar and we'll cover your transportation."

"I'm sure I can get Heidi on board with the open bar. What's the catch though?"

"No catch. Honestly, we just want to make sure our tables are filled and you've both been working hard lately. They usually have some pretty sweet gift bags, too."

"I'll ask her." Avery smiled, crossing her hands in her lap. "Thanks Will."

* * *

Bucky: _hey doll. You home from work?  
_Bucky: _dinner?_

Bucky was pacing around his apartment, going over his conversation with Steve again and again and again. He stayed a bit later than usual at their office space downtown, spending some time in the gym before he headed home.

He felt restless as his thoughts overtook him and the best way to deal with that was combat training and lifting weights. He did feel better afterwards but he really wanted to see Avery. He had talked himself up to have this _conversation_.

He walked by her apartment on his way in but didn't hear anything. Once upstairs, he had a long hot shower, hot enough to scald his skin. It was a gentle form of self-destruction but an opportunity to feel something else for a few minutes. He tried to meditate after, doing that stupid thing where he accepted his thoughts and sat with them then sent them away.

But they didn't go away.

Avery: _hey sorry, just woke up from a nap.  
_Avery: _i truly won't be good company right now so raincheck on dinner  
_Bucky: _you okay?  
_Avery: _no  
_Avery: _but I will be  
_Avery: _please don't worry_

Avery should not have been surprised when Bucky was knocking on her door two minutes later.

She should have just said she wasn't feeling well or something. Or that she wasn't home. She truly didn't intend for her mood to drag her down when she got home but that's exactly what happened. Everything had been okay after she got back to the office. She even made amends with Heidi. She apologized and thanked Avery for her extra help. And graciously said yes to the cocktail party and open bar invitation.

On her way home, Avery stopped and grabbed a bouquet of flowers. Just the daily special at the shop, mainly daisies and some greenery to fill in the gaps. They made her smile and she couldn't help but think about how nice they would look on her kitchen counter.

She thought about Bucky on her walk home, fresh flowers in her arms. Hopefully he wouldn't be working late again and they could maybe hang out.

Before she could even do that, as she was unpacking her flowers, one unintentional graze of her arm sent the vase flying off her kitchen island. Usually she wouldn't let a small mistake derail her, and maybe it was a combination of her hormones and the upcoming Memorial Day weekend, but watching that vase smash into pieces on the ground flicked a switch for her.

The vase had been her mother's. No, her grandmother's. The glass was green and frosted and Avery had so many memories of that vase. Sitting as a centerpiece on their kitchen table growing up, filled with fresh tulips from their garden at home.

Avery didn't think about her mother much. Well, she tried not to. She did what she needed to last year, she took time and mourned as she should. She visited her mother's grave and sobbed. But otherwise, she blocked out most of those leftover feelings. She knew ignoring that loss wasn't good for her or her brain. But it was easier, usually.

Until days like this when something like a shattering vase caused a sadness to wash over her like a wave.

She didn't even bother cleaning up the glass. She stood there and cried for what seemed like forever then collapsed onto her bed. She didn't even get to text Bucky.

When she finally woke up and responded to his messages, all she wanted to do was continue to sleep. But she knew she was out of luck when she heard him knocking on her door.

She carefully stepped through the shards of green glass, cursing herself for not dealing with it earlier. She paused before opening the door, taking a few deep breaths and wiping the leftover tears from under her eyes. She prayed it didn't look like she was crying. She had managed to pull on an old hoodie and leggings before crashing and she frantically ran her hands through her hair to manage it into a flattened state over her right shoulder.

Pulling open the door, she tried to put a smile on her face. "Hey."

Bucky's eyes narrowed in on her face. She was surprised he looked so concerned.

He was concerned about _her_.

"You've been cryin," he said softly, reaching his right hand out to touch her cheek. She closed her eyes tightly at his touch but didn't pull away. "Avery, what's going on?"

His eyes looked beyond her small frame and into the apartment. It was dark. There was a dim light coming from her bedroom but that was it.

Avery reached up and pulled his hand down from her face and tugged on his arm to come inside.

"Careful," she said quietly. "My kitchen floor is covered in glass." She reached out a hand and turned on the kitchen light, looking down at the green shards at their feet. Her flowers were left a mess in the sink.

Bucky glanced around and took in the scene. He really wasn't sure what was going on but he hadn't seen Avery this somber before. "Why? What happened?"

She closed her eyes tightly when he looked back at her, wrapping her hands around her chest. "I'm just..I'm having, what I like to call, a bad brain day. Or..evening." She pursed her lips together. "Bucky, listen. I'm really a mess tonight and I am going to just stand here for a minute. If you want to leave, I swear I won't hold it against you. No hard feelings or anything. I usually just need a night to get over it and.. You are not obligated to help me or -

All of a sudden, Bucky was wrapping his arms around Avery. He wasn't sure what was going on or what was causing her mood, but it was clear she was in some sort of emotional disarray. All he could think to do right away was hug her. It took her a few moments to clear her head and take in what was happening, as if his body was a shield to protect her. The tense feeling in her shoulders dissipated as he squeezed her.

"Avery, baby," his words came out like a whisper in her ear. "I'm here if you want to talk about it. Or not talk about it." He knew it wasn't the right time but he wished so desperately he could tell her everything: _my brain is a mess, too._

She murmured some confirmation into his chest as his thumbs rolled circles into her back, a soothing comfort.

Bucky sent her off to shower after their embrace then found her broom and cleaned up the broken vase. He took it upon himself to put her flowers into a different vase he found under her sink and propped them up on the kitchen island, smiling to himself, proud of his work.

After the hot shower, Avery found Bucky sitting at the edge of her bed, waiting.

He stood up when she walked in. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head.

He sighed and rephrased his question. "When did you last eat?"

"I had an iced coffee around lunch time," she replied with a shrug, pulling her towel tightly over her body.

"I'll run and pick up some dinner." He leaned over towards her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "How do you feel about Thai?"

An hour later, Avery was sitting cross legged on her couch with an order of pad thai in her lap. Bucky was sitting beside her with an identical take out container in his hands, eyes narrowed at the movie on her TV across the room.

"Isn't this plot..just.. The Taming of the Shrew? Shakespeare?" Bucky's head turned toward Avery. She had picked out _10 Things I Hate About You_ for their impromptu movie night and her eyes grew wide with amusement at his question.

"Yes," she replied with a laugh. "I'm pretty sure I said that to you when I picked it out. Although I still do not understand how you managed to have never seen one of the most iconic teen romances of our time."

"Sorry, I was distracted, I guess," he said, letting out a sigh. It's not that he hadn't been listening to her, he had just been focused on if she was okay. They didn't talk about Avery's tears when Bucky got back from grabbing their dinner and he really wanted to ask. At least the movie was making her laugh and smile.

By the time the credits of the movie were rolling, Avery was cuddled up beside Bucky on the couch. She was leaning into his chest, his left arm wrapped over her shoulder, a blanket covering their laps. She felt especially content and her breakdown from earlier seemed so far away. They sat there in silence for a few minutes after the screen went black. Bucky's hand lazily wandered up and down Avery's side.

It was warm.

"How long ago did you lose your arm?" Avery's question came out very quietly. She shifted slightly in her position, using her right hand to touch his left as it rested at her hip.

He didn't answer right away, closing his eyes as her fingers brushed against the metal. How was he supposed to answer this?

"Over ten years," he replied. That wasn't untrue.

"What happened?" She shifted again, lowering herself down so she was laying on her back, head resting in Bucky's lap. She moved his left arm so it rested on her chest. He was wearing just a t-shirt and most of his arm was exposed, quiet sounds of moving metal parts were barely audible.

"It's a long.." He trailed off as she roped her fingers with his metal ones. Warm. Soft. "Long story. Just a bad accident. With a train." His sentences were short and curt.

Avery didn't press although she knew there must be more to his story.

"Is it sensitive like regular skin? Like, can you feel...?"

He squeezed his hand with hers and laughed lightly. "I can feel, yes. It's a fairly advanced piece of tech, I'm lucky to have it."

"Mmhmm." Avery brought his hand up towards her head, letting go and encouraging him to cradle her face.

Soft.

There was silence between them again. She was feeling bold, as if he had just revealed a vulnerable truth about himself.

_What do I have to lose?_

"I was the only one in my family to vanish," Avery said quietly. He hadn't prompted this discussion but he wasn't going to stop her, although her voice sounded raspy. Like she might cry again. "But in between that five second..five year gap..my mom got sick." The heavy pause told Bucky what he needed to know. _Sick_ probably meant she lost whatever battle she had been fighting _._ "It just..hit me pretty hard today."

He moved his hand from her cheek to run it through her hair in small comforting strokes.

Soft.

"I'm so sorry, Avery."

"My mom's heart broke when we lost my brother. And I often wonder how she felt when I vanished, too." Avery closed her eyes tightly to hold back her tears. "God, I'm so sorry. Just..sad brain. I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye."

"You don't have to apologize, doll," he responded quietly, continuing to run his hand through her hair. "You're only human, you know." This emotional stuff was really more of Steve's wheelhouse and Bucky really wasn't sure what else he could say or do for her. There was still a gap between them. Sure, the last few weeks had been a lot of fun getting to know each other. But there was still a lot to explain.

"Thank you. For listening." Avery sat up and shifted to look at him, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. "And for dinner."

"No need to thank me," he replied with a soft smile.

"It's important to make your partner feel valued in a relationship," Avery said quietly. "Not that we're in a relationship or anything!" She quickly raised a hand up to cover her eyes. "I just..appreciate your support. That's all."

Bucky couldn't help but smile at her awkward ramble. She opened her eyes slowly and met his.

"How do you do that? It's like you see right into my soul with those eyes," Avery muttered, giving him a gentle shove in the chest. "It's not fair."

Bucky let out a long exhale as he looked at her, suddenly closing his eyes. He had to tell her the truth.

"Avery?"

She tilted her head and her mouth drew into a yawn. "Mmm?"

He bit his lip. Maybe this wasn't a before bed conversation.

"I think you need to sleep, doll."

"Would you stay? Until I fall asleep?"

That was definitely going to be a running joke. She wanted him to stay all night, of course. And it was likely he would. But asking him seemed too real. Even though _she_ had passed out in his bed after the bar Saturday, this felt different. Asking felt different.

"Of course."

* * *

Bucky had a hard time falling asleep. It wasn't the surplus of pillows in Avery's bed stopping his brain from relaxing, but an ongoing fear he would have another nightmare.

Yet, hearing the soft coos coming from Avery slumbering beside him, he felt an unusual sense of peace. It was like that when he slept beside Steve, too. The fear subsided, eventually, and his heavy eyelids gave away.

He woke up before Avery, sun beaming through her window onto the bed. She was sleeping on her stomach, legs scrunched up beside her, hair falling around her head. He rolled over, careful not to disturb her. He just liked how peaceful she looked when she slept.

She stirred after he did and without opening her eyes she adjusted to sprawl out onto him, hooking her right leg over his thighs.

He couldn't help but let out a laugh. She was like a koala bear or something, gripping onto him.

"What's so funny.." Her voice came out quiet and soft, nuzzling into his chest. He stretched out his right arm over her head, pulling her up towards him. Her body was more than halfway on top of his now.

"You," he mumbled his reply.

Avery couldn't help but feel so warm and safe nestled beside Bucky. Even now, as she stretched out on top of him, his arms wrapped around her made her never want to leave her bed.

It was as if something shifted for her in that early morning moment.

Maybe this was something real. Maybe this feeling she got waking up beside him was worth it. Maybe this was..this was going to work.

She slowly opened her eyes to look up towards him. He was already staring at her, eyes shining with an intensity she wasn't used to. She pushed herself up onto her left elbow and leaned into him, pressing her lips against his.

She was making a choice and she could feel it travelling through her as their kiss continued.

Bucky's hands started to trail down her body, his fingers moving downwards from her hair, along her neck, to her back. She had only slept in a big oversized t-shirt and a pair of basic black panties and he was suddenly very grateful for the opportunity to run his hands along her skin.

Avery let out a moan as his teeth gripped onto her bottom lip. "Bucky.."

He chuckled into her mouth as he pressed another wet kiss against her. His hands started to trace against the exposed skin of her lower back as her t-shirt moved upwards. He clutched onto her hips moments later, easily lifting her enough to ensure she was fully on top of him. She let out a short yelp, surprised by her change in position.

She pulled away from his lips, eyes wide. "Listen, if I'm too heavy to -

"Stop that." His hands moved from her hips, up her back, tracing lines against her back. "C'mere." A gentle pressure on her shoulders pushed her back down onto his bare chest, their lips meeting again.

He had slept in just his boxers and, well, Avery could definitely feel all of him as her hips rolled against his.

Her hands pushed down against the pillow behind his head, caging him there as she returned to his lips. She pressed kisses against his lips, then down his chiseled jawline, all the way towards where his neck met his ears. She nipped at his earlobe, feeling his own breathing hitch as she did.

"Do you want me, Bucky?" Her voice was hot in his ear. All he could do was let out a growl in response, holding her hips tightly and grinding her across his hard erection.

"Avery, baby," his voice was gravelly, rough. "I _need_ you."

She leaned to sit up straight on top of him, grabbing the bottom hem of her t-shirt and pulling it over her head. She chewed on her lip as his hands reached up to grab her chest, gripping her breasts in his hand as he continued to press his hips against her. His hands were a stark contrast as they played with her nipples, one cold and calloused, pulling hard. The other cool and smooth, flicking across her soft skin.

She laid her hands flat against his chest, rolling her hands across his muscled body.

_God, how was she doing this?_

Was she really about to have morning sex with him?

With his incredibly sculpted body?

She let out a guttural moan as his hands moved from her chest, trailing along her soft stomach and pausing just above the waistline of her underwear. He wasted no time as the fingers in his flesh hand disappeared under the fabric, dipping directly into her and circling around her center.

"Bucky.." Her voice came out so desperately, squeezing her eyes shut as his fingers moved inside her. She didn't even realize she had brought her own hands up to grasp her breasts, pinching and pulling to add onto the sensations burning through her.

Bucky watched as she enjoyed herself - every whimper escaping her lips turned him on even more.

"God, you're beautiful, doll," he moaned, moving his fingers faster. "So fucking beautiful."

Avery was certain she was blushing everywhere as he spoke, from her cheeks down across her entire body. Was that even possible? A full body blush?

Bucky was going to be the death of her.

Soon enough, her legs were quivering on top of him. He moved his hand away as she shook, gripping onto her hips and pulling her down on top of him. "Are we doing this?" He breathed into her ear as she laid against his chest, catching her breath.

"Please."

She stayed there on top of him as he reached down and shuffled his boxers off, kicking them off the bed.

"I don't.." She sat up on his chest again, pushing her hair off to one side as she used her other hand to steady herself on his chest. "I don't have anything. But I have been on birth control for years. If you're okay with that."

As he nodded, she leaned off of him for a moment and peeled off her panties. She quickly straddled him again, leaning forward on his chest and meeting his lips.

"Avery, baby, please," he whispered as she kissed against his neck, sucking on his pulse point. He wrapped his left arm around her, holding her in place on top of him and used his right hand to line himself up with her. She moved her hips back slightly onto his dick, letting him slowly enter her. Maybe it was the angle but somehow she felt tighter than before. He loosened up his hold on her back and she sat up slightly, closing her eyes as she clenched around all of him.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," she moaned out, steadying herself on his chest with her hands. "Oh my god, Bucky."

A playful smirk appeared on his face as he looked up at her, lost in pleasure. "You alright?"

She didn't answer him with words but instead started to move her hips, slowly forward and back on him. He growled in response, pulling her down towards him and caging her in his arms as he moved his hips, thrusting into her again and again and again.

Avery's hands gripped onto the pillow behind his head again as a series of expletives left her mouth. She was certain this was going to be it - her death.

The way he felt as he moved in and out of her, how his breaths turned into an aching pattern of panting, his tight grip on her shoulders - it was a combination of intensity she wasn't expecting but what a way to wake up.

He slowed down and she pushed herself upright again, her chest heaving up and down. She moved slowly, raking her hands down across his chest as she did.

"I guess sex is back on the table, ain't it?" He asked with a smirk, his hands gripping her hips.

"We showed a lot of restraint this week," she laughed, letting her breath settle into a normal pace again.

He smirked once again, gently prodding her to move onto her back. He quickly adjusted and placed himself between her thighs, spreading her legs wide and rubbing himself up and down her slit. A whimper escaped her lips and that was enough to drive him back inside of her. He could hardly get over how _fucking good_ it felt to be engulfed by her, to feel her clenching around him.

He grabbed her right thigh with his left hand and squeezed it roughly, while pushing himself harder and harder into her, causing Avery to scream out in pleasure. His moves became more rushed and wild, anticipating they were both approaching the edge.

"Oh god, yes, fuck me," Avery's words were breathless as she writhed underneath him, reaching up to grab onto his shoulders. She dug her nails into the back of his neckline, shaking underneath him.

"You feel so fucking good, baby," Bucky closed his eyes as his thrusts became less constant, finally pulling himself out of her and finishing against her thigh.

He remained there, holding onto her hips as he caught his breath. Her chest heaved up and down, extending her right forearm to rest over her eyes.

"G'morning, doll."

"Good. Morning."

* * *

"Stop fussing, you look fine."

Bucky pouted as Sharon pulled his hands away from his tie. She gave him a sympathetic smile and raised a hand up to her ear.

"Okay, we're heading in. Sam, where are you?"

" _Back corner near the bar. I don't have eyes on Osborn yet but I think some of his staff are here."_

Bucky sighed then shook his head. His day had definitely not gone as he had expected. Morning sex with Avery was especially nice but an undercover gig was not his ideal Thursday night.

He had a message from Steve waiting when he woke up - explaining one of the shipments they tracked had been delivered to the city, specifically to the Oscorp labs in Midtown. By the time Bucky got to the office, Steve and Sharon were devising a plan.

Dr. Norman Osborn was receiving an award at the Manhattan Business Association cocktail party that evening. So, now, Bucky, Sam and Sharon were all dressed up for the event and had intel to locate.

Osborn had been on the SHIELD radar years ago but nothing came from it. It was Sharon who flagged him this time, wondering why someone so versed in biochemistry and engineering needed a secret supply of rare metals. Maybe it was another dead end but it was worth pursuing.

Steve was a block away, camped out in an SUV monitoring the building's surveillance system remotely and advising if there was anything curious they needed to be aware of. And, he was close for a quick getaway if required.

Really, their goal was just to see who Osborn was networking with and if possible, talk to him, too. This wasn't a dangerous situation and the event had security guards posted at the door. But they were still being cautious.

"Still don't know why we all had to be here," Bucky grumbled out, adjusting the glove on his left hand.

Sharon took his arm. "Because you look better than Sam in a suit."

" _You know I can hear you, Carter."_

Bucky let out a short laugh, grateful for her attempt at easing his nerves. What she really wanted to say was: this works better in numbers. She and Bucky were to spend the evening side by side as a couple while Sam swept around solo.

"I s'pose the beautiful woman on my arm is also a good distraction," Bucky replied, raising his right arm to run it through his hair. "Shall we?"

* * *

Avery: _on your way? I snagged us seats at the very back corner table #56  
_Avery: _just a few finance people at our table thank god  
_Avery: _i'll feel better sucking back cocktails if Will isn't seated with us  
_Heidi: _just getting out of my cab, i'll be inside in a few  
_Heidi: _don't start without me!_

Avery smiled at the message on her phone and placed her phone down. From waking up beside Bucky to finally catching up with Heidi at work - she had a full day in the office thankfully - she was happy with how her Thursday had gone. And now, the evening ahead promised a relatively good time. Sure, they were going to be there as representatives of _Simonarc_ but that didn't mean they couldn't have a good time.

Avery glanced at her phone as it buzzed again. She had sent Bucky a selfie earlier, with a flirty message. She was dressed up in a short black cocktail dress, hair in sweeping waves, lipstick on. She hadn't felt so put together in a while and she was eager to hopefully get an equally flirty response from him. He had mentioned he was working late but wanted to see her again on Friday night.

She picked up her phone and saw a message from her dad, instead. It was a short message with a PDF attached.

Dad: _hey, I know you can't make it home this weekend but if you need somewhere to go Monday, an old friend told me about this service hosted by the VA in Brooklyn. not public but you'll be allowed to go. love you, sunshine_

She smiled at his thoughtfulness. Attached in the PDF was a short poster about a Memorial Day service at the Veterans Affairs Brooklyn office. She hadn't really thought about what she was going to do Monday, she figured just taking the day to herself would have sufficed. But she owed it to her dad and the memory of her brother to attend a service ceremony. Before she could find it in her to respond to her dad, something caught her eye at the bottom of the poster.

There was a small thumbnail image of… Steve?

Her eyes narrowed in on the document and she swiped her fingers to zoom in.

' _Opening remarks will be delivered by Steve Rogers (Captain America)'_

Avery nearly dropped her phone.

No, there was no way. She blinked a few times as she read over the document again and again. The picture showed a younger Steve, crew cut hair and a charming smile on his face. She closed her eyes to compare to the Steve she knew - that jawline could be hidden behind his beard, and his hair, while longer, did match in tone.

Her mind raced as she thought about the last few weeks. Both Steve and Bucky said they were lifelong friends.

She had so many questions she didn't even know where to start.

She managed to type out a reply to her dad then she stood up, glancing around the room. The event was being hosted at a swanky uptown hotel and the ballroom was slowly filling with suits and dresses, big wigs across all sorts of industries mingling with smiles on their faces and business plans in their minds.

Avery let out a relieved sigh when she saw Heidi making her way towards the table, a smile on her face.

"Just passed by Will and his dad in the hallway," Heidi started with a smirk. "That man can really fill out a suit."

"C'mon," Avery plastered a smile on her face to match, trying to shake off all the anxiety she had growing about Bucky and Steve. "I need a drink."

* * *

Bucky and Sharon were locked in a discussion with _someone_ and he was grateful she was doing the bulk of the talking. His eyes continued to dart around the room, feeling a bit overwhelmed by this undercover mission he really didn't sign up for.

He was saved by Sam calling in his ear.

"Excuse me," Bucky said with a smile, gracefully giving Sharon's arm a squeeze and stepping away from their chat.

"What's up, Sam?" Bucky said quietly, turning away and trying not to make it look like he was _talking to himself_ , despite the hidden communication piece nestled in his ear.

" _I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?"_

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Bad?"

" _Okay. Bad news: Avery is here and she's heading straight towards me at the bar. Definitely can't hide from this."_

"What?" Bucky's eyes grew wide, turning and pointing his gaze to the far side of the room where Sam was leaning against the bar.

" _Good news is your girlfriend looks great in this dress."_

"She's not my.." Bucky stuttered out, shaking his head. Now probably wasn't the right time to discuss how they hadn't put a title on their relationship.

This wasn't something he anticipated happening. Avery _had_ messaged him earlier, saying she was dressed up for some work event (and sent him an adorable selfie). He didn't anticipate doing this 'undercover' shit at the _exact same event_ or there is no way he would have agreed.

* * *

Avery headed to the bar at the back of the room while Heidi ventured off to find a washroom, promising to meet back for drinks. As she headed towards the large barspace, Avery was surprised to see Sam standing there, dressed in a suit. She assumed if Bucky was working late, he would be too, since they were a pair. Unless they were..working at this event. But she had seen actual security guards at the entrance.

She waved when she spotted him and he smiled in return, though it did look like he was muttering to himself.

"Avery, hey," Sam started as she paused in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," she replied with a smirk. She pointed to a small printed tent card on the bar beside them. "The company I work for is one of the sponsors tonight. Simonarc Construction."

Sam nodded along as she spoke. "Ah, you work for Simonarc."

Avery raised an eyebrow in confusion as he repeated what she said. "Yes." She turned for a moment to order a drink then leaned on the bar to look at him again. "Nice suit. Are you working right now? Bucky said he was working late so.."

Sam hesitated to answer, cocking his head to the side. "Uhm, yes. Just some extra security for the event."

Avery felt like Sam's answers were a bit awkward and forced but she didn't have the brain power to analyze him, too. She reached over and grabbed her drink, taking a long gulp before continuing. "Sam, I need to ask you something. And I need you to be honest with me. Please."

He nodded again. "Okay."

"Is Steve… Steve Rogers? As in Captain America?"

Before Sam could stutter out a reply, Heidi appeared between them, a grin on her face. "Hey, I'll have whatever she's drinking." Heidi motioned to the bartender, then glanced between her friend and the man she was talking to. "Who's this?"

"Heidi, this is Sam." Avery's eyes darted between them. "Heidi is my coworker."

Heidi flipped her shining grey grey hair to the side and extended a hand out. "We're cubicle neighbours. Nice to meet you." Sam shook her hand with a coy smirk. He was grateful for their interruption as her coworker pulled Avery away without him having to answer the Big Question she had asked.

Sam headed away from the bar, opposite direction of the girls, eyes scanning the room. "Please tell me ya'll caught that question she asked me."

Steve's voice sounded through the comms. " _Yes, Sam. Of course we did."_

"I feel like this is about to get messy for you, Barnes."

" _Sharon is off talking to Osborn's son. Come meet me in the hallway_."

Bucky was trying to wrap his head around what was happening and what he should do next. This was not really the _worst case scenario_ but it wasn't how he anticipated having Avery find out about what he did or who his friends were. If she knew Steve was Captain America, it was inevitable a trail of information would lead back to Bucky, too. But, the situation was presenting itself and save from dashing out of the building, he was trying to figure out how he should handle it.

"Hey man," Sam hurried up beside him in the hallway outside the ballroom, eyes darting around. "Where's Sharon?"

"Sitting down at the Oscorp table as we speak," Bucky said with a dry laugh. "She never needed us here."

"Yeah, well, I think this was still the right move. There's a lot of big names here tonight getting some awards, I wouldn't be surprised if more shady networking was happening behind the scenes."

Bucky shook his head, glancing up and down the hall. "What do you think I should do?"

"Honestly, it's shit advice but I'd say avoid her for the rest of the evening. Stay low. She's at a table in the back corner. Stay back here until Sharon wraps up then we can bail. But, that Steve question is coming your way next, I'm sure."

Back at the table, Avery quickly drank her cocktail and scanned around the room for Sam. She wanted an answer to her question. She opened up her phone and texted Bucky, too.

Avery: _hey. I need to talk to you!  
_Avery: _i feel like a complete idiot_

"You okay?" Heidi shifted in her seat and turned to Avery who was anxiously popping her knee up and down under the table. "Should I cut you off?"

"Did you ever..study Captain America in school?" Avery asked quickly, turning towards Heidi on her right. "I remember covering him in like, ninth or tenth grade history. After he came out of the ice?"

Heidi raised her eyebrows at the strange question and tilted her head. "Oh yeah. High school history definitely. What was that team he had? The Commandos? Not gonna lie, there were definitely some hotties in that war time. I mean, Captain America himself is.." Heidi made a face like she was taking a large bite of _something_ and Avery couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"I mean, he's just been like off of the radar for a bit, right? What happened to him after that big alien battle?" Heidi continued to ramble on as the lights in the room started to dim. People shuffled into their seats around the room and Avery motioned to a nearby server just before things started, asking for a bottle of wine for the table. Well, at least for her and Heidi.

As the awards presentation started, Avery tucked her head down and opened her phone. She had no response from Bucky so she figured she had to take matters into her own hands. She opened up the small web browser and typed in: _Captain America Commandos Steve Rogers_ and hoped she could find some answers.

* * *

Bucky dismissed the messages he saw coming in from Avery - although he felt terrible not responding to her. Sharon was stuck sitting at the Oscorp table with a very flirty Harry Osborn, which was something Sam and Bucky found amusing but she found less-so. Both men stood at the back of the room, eyes moving around the room as the awards carried on.

Their plan was to exit when everything was wrapped up and debrief on their way back to the offices. As the crowd applauded the last of the award winners, the lights slowly went up. Bucky scanned the room for Sharon and mistakenly caught the eye of Avery, who was heading towards the back of the room.

Fuck.

He was saved, briefly, by a larger crowd of people got up from their seats and started to move around the room, so Avery was cut off before she could head straight towards him. He took a few steps to the left and ducked back into the hallway, heading towards the staircase.

"Bucky, man," Sam followed along and put a hand on his shoulder. "You can't run from this."

Bucky knew he was right but that didn't stop him from swearing under his breath. "I know, I know. Can you just find her and meet me outside? I'm suffocating in here." He brought his hand up and loosened the tie around his neck. "Stevie, are you still on the east block?"

" _Yeah, I'll pull up to the service entrance and wait there."_

Sam just nodded and motioned for Bucky to head out. He waited in the hallway until he spotted Avery hurrying out, her head turning from side to side.

"Sam!" She zig zagged through the crowd and stopped in front of Sam, eyes wide. She looked a bit erratic and he reached his hand out to steady her shoulder. "Where's Bucky?"

"Let's go outside," he motioned to the staircase. She shook off his hand and sent a quick message to Heidi that she'd be right back.

"Listen, Avery, I know you're probably feeling a bit overwhelmed and -

"I don't even know where to begin with this, Sam!" She trailed behind him, slowly clacking down the staircase as she gripped the railing.

She squeezed her eyes for a moment. Okay, this was fine. It was just..her upstairs neighbour that was _maybe dating_ was actually over a hundred years old and best friends with Captain America. He apparently died years ago - _YEARS_ ago - but was somehow living two floors above her. James 'Bucky' Barnes, Steve Rogers' best friend. There had been some missing information when she tried to read about him online throughout the awards ceremony. There was brief mention of HYDRA but everything kind of dried up after that.

Not that any of it mattered. Her brain was still racing.

The guy she cried to and laughed with and had sex with and went on a date with.

He wasn't a security guard. He worked with Captain fucking America.

Did they assume she would just eventually figure it out? Was it easier to just hide the real truth from her?

"Where do you fit into all this, Sam? You're not also old enough to live in a seniors' home, are you?"

Sam let out an awkward laugh as they got to the main floor, opening up the back exit door to the back of the hotel. "I am not. But I am.. I don't know what I should tell you before you talk to Bucky and Steve."

She let out a frustrated cry and followed behind him through the door. She continued to follow Sam, hoping he was leading her to Bucky. Although, the more she thought about it, the less she was certain she even wanted to see him.

What was she going to say?

What was _he_ going to say to her?

Her feet came to a halt as they turned behind the building, where Steve and Bucky were leaning against a big SUV near the back delivery doors of the hotel. If Avery didn't sort of still trust that these were nice people, this whole situation would have left her feeling especially unsafe.

"Avery," Bucky stood up from his position against the SUV and ran a hand through his hair, taking a step towards her.

She couldn't even let herself enjoy the view of seeing Bucky dressed in a perfect fitting suit. God, he looked so handsome. But she was angry.

"Please don't," she said quietly, putting a hand up from stopping his approach. "I feel like an absolute idiot right now. You're Steve Rogers. Captain America." She pointed towards Steve, shaking her head in shock. "How did I not figure it out?"

"It's the beard, honestly," Sam answered for her as he crossed his arms.

"Now's not the time, Sam," Steve said as he crossed his arms. "Listen, Avery, we should have been honest with you about this from the beginning."

She didn't even acknowledge his response as her gaze turned to Bucky. "And you! James Buchanan Barnes. Did you tell me anything about yourself that was even true?"

Bucky opened his mouth to reply but she just charged on, shaking her head and pacing around. "Private security company, last minute work trips..oh my god, your complete lack of knowledge about anything related to the last 60 years of culture. How am I this stupid?" Her voice was growing more and more erratic as she rambled.

"Avery, you've got to calm down." Bucky took another step towards her and she stopped and took a few steps back, shaking her head at him.

She brought her hands up towards her head and scrubbed down her face. "I have Band-Aids in my bathroom cupboard with your face on them, _Captain America!_ " She tilted her head back with a hard laugh. Her next question came out quietly, as her head continued to shake. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Bucky sighed. "I don't know, doll. I should have already."

"I told you so much about my life. Oh my god, we..We had sex _this morning_! Why didn't you just tell me?" She repeated her last question, closing her eyes tight. "This has really messed up my stupid fucking brain."

She shook her head and turned on her heel, heading back towards the door. Bucky reached out for her arm to stop her.

"Don't touch me," she hissed at him, pulling her arm away. "Please just leave me alone. All of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey people! I have no idea where this chapter came from - well, no, it came from my own dang hands. But it ended up a bit longer than I wanted but I got where I wanted, so that's what's important to me as the writer lol I hope you don't mind these long chapters! I always have an endpoint I want to reach chapter to chapter but if you'd prefer shorter chapters (and possibly quicker updates) I'll take that into account. Although it's quarantine times so ...time is but a concept to me.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's reading along! 100 kudos, ya'll!! I can't even believe it. I appreciate every subscription and favourite and comment. Your comments mean so much to me - I love hearing all your thoughts along the way. It's truly such a fun additional motivator to know you're here enjoying this story, too.
> 
> Story notes: AWWWW I mean, she was bound to figure it out and she probably feels pretty embarrassed here. I would too, girl. There's a lot of little plot seeds I've been sewing along the way here. And yes, I'm borrowing Norman Osborn. And yes, he is a villain. And YES, Steve and Avery *were* playing Turtles in Time at the arcade bar, how astute of you to figure it out.
> 
> Coming up next: Bucky pleads his case. Steve pleads his case. There is a motorcycle ride involved. And you know what they say about drunk texting...


	10. Miserable

Avery was laying on the living room floor in Beatrice's apartment. Her throw rug was especially soft and comfortable and while they waited for The Price is Right theme song to sound out, she was perfectly content sprawled across the floor, eyes locked on the ceiling, Wallace pawing at her socked toes.

"Sweetie, are you going to be okay?" Beatrice asked absentmindedly, peering over an issue of The National Enquirer from her arm chair across the room. "Let me know if I should be worried."

Avery raised her right arm and positioned her fist into a thumbs up. "Just going through a thing, Bea."

"What did he do?"

Avery sat up quickly and shifted to face her neighbour, who had folded down her tabloid and was peering at the younger girl. "What?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed that nice boy James coming down to your apartment," Beatrice commented.

Avery couldn't help but laugh. She couldn't fault Bea for being so observant. But, she did appreciate Bea for existing as a voice of reason.

"I'm not sure how to explain what's going on," Avery started slowly. "Some truths recently came to light and.. I'm just confused."

Confused was one way of putting it.

After walking away from Bucky, Steve and Sam the evening before, she had really been going through it. Bucky had sent her a few text messages, apologizing and saying he really wanted to explain himself, talk to her one-on-one about everything. She ignored them all, because that was the easiest thing to do.

She managed to get through the rest of the night with Heidi, keeping a fake smile on her face while her friend rambled on about some guy she met at the dessert table that she wanted to hook up with. Avery encouraged her to go, to continue her night with whoever that guy was and she grabbed her own cab and headed home. When she got to her apartment building, she was immediately worried Bucky might be there, too.

She wasn't scared of him or anything. She just really, really didn't want to talk. She paced around her apartment for hours once she was inside, going over everything again and again and again.

Did it matter that Bucky, her friendly, datable upstairs neighbour was technically a centenarian? Maybe not. For an old guy, he was a great kisser and especially good in bed.

Did it bother her that both Bucky and Steve weren't entirely honest with her about who they were? Yes. Could she get over it? She really, really wasn't sure.

It wasn't that Avery had trust issues. Okay, she had _some_ trust issues. That came from dating someone for two years and seeing it unravel through dishonesty and questionable infidelity. But she could get past that, or she thought she could.

She tried to fall asleep but the minute her head landed on her pillow, she could smell Bucky. His sandalwood body wash was imprinted on her bed.

She moved to the couch and crashed there instead.

Her buzzing phone woke her up just after eight. She thanked all the Gods in the sky when the phone call was actually her therapist's office, explaining there had been a cancellation Friday afternoon and that the appointment was hers if she wanted it. She nearly yelled a yes into the phone. If there was ever a time she needed to unbiasedly rant about her emotions, it was now.

Avery shook her head as she looked over at Beatrice, reaching to pull her flowing hair into a messy ponytail. "Just trying to sort out my feelings, I guess."

A soft smile grew on Beatrice's face. "Love can be hard, sweetie. But, if a man can make you laugh and can also take care of himself, you found a good one."

Avery just smiled. It wasn't that easy, really. But she appreciated the sentiment.

"Do you mind if I make some tea?"

Beatrice nodded, waving her arm towards the kitchen. Avery hopped up, peeling off the plaid shirt on her arms and wrapping it around her waist as she headed towards the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards for a mug as she plugged in the kettle.

She stood there and waited, glancing towards the TV as the game show started and lazily looked through the messages on her phone. Another one had come in from Bucky.

Bucky: _Sam said you're probably going to ghost me but I don't want that, Avery. Please._

Avery rolled her eyes. She assumed Bucky probably didn't even understand what _ghosting_ was but the message was cute regardless. She really wasn't sure if she was feeling mad or disappointed or annoyed or embarrassed. Her desire to respond was growing. So many witty things could be said in response to him but instead of typing anything out, she shoved her phone into her pocket.

As the kettle whistled, she poured the hot water over an Earl Grey tea bag and started back towards the couches. Before she reached her destination, she heard a voice in the hallway.

"Avery?" There was a faint knocking noise happening, too. On her door.

It wasn't Bucky's voice. She put down her mug on the table and walked towards the door, peeking through the peephole.

It was Steve.

She heard him knock again then shuffle his feet, as if he should give up and go. Part of Avery really wanted to just..let him walk away. But, more than that, she knew she should maybe hear him out.

_She wasn't mad._ She was confused.

She opened Beatrice's door, which got Steve's attention. He turned at the noise, eyes growing wide as he saw Avery standing at the door across the hall.

"Avery," he said quickly, half a smile on his face. "I was certain you lived in 509." He motioned his arm towards her door.

"I do," Avery replied, crossing her arms and taking a step into the hallway, closing Bea's door to keep Wallace inside. "I occasionally seek refuge at my neighbour's place."

"Oh," Steve said with a nod. "I see."

"What are you doing here, _Captain_?"

Steve couldn't help but roll his eyes at her comment, scrubbing his hand across his bearded chin. His eyes swept over Avery's face quickly, trying to read her mood. She looked tired and her arms were locked across her chest defensively. Perhaps she was nervous to see him, scared to feel stupid again.

"I wanted to see if you had a few minutes to talk," Steve replied. "I know you're upset but -

"Please don't assume you _know_ how I'm feeling." Her reply was sharper than she intended. She took a deep breath then shook her head. "Did you come all the way to Brooklyn just to talk to me?"

"Well, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I also picked up some pastries at _Mia's_ while I was in the neighbourhood."

Before Avery could reply, the door behind her opened and Beatrice appeared. "Avery, you just missed Freeze Frame. Oh." She glanced towards Steve. "Invite your friend in, sweetie. Kettle is still hot."

Avery sighed. "There's no time to talk during The Price Is Right but you're welcome to stay if you have nothing better to do."

A smile grew across Steve's face. He should _probably_ go back to the office but both Bucky and Sam were up at the compound training with Wanda so he did have some time to spare. "Sure."

Frankly, Steve didn't have much of a plan. He had spent most of his night talking down a very upset Bucky and didn't argue when Bucky stole off to the Avengers compound outside of the city that morning. The whole situation had gotten out of hand and Steve knew Bucky had not meant to let things grow as they did and the last thing he would have wanted was to upset Avery.

But Steve had a hard time _not_ helping Bucky. So, he figured he could at least try to patch up some of the hard feelings by reaching out to Avery himself. He welcomed the opportunity to have an honest conversation with her, anyway.

Avery's neighbour Beatrice was perfectly nice and a bit of a flirt. Steve was incredibly patient with the older woman, answering all her questions about Steve's life and what he was doing with his long weekend. Avery sat quietly, for the most part, apprehensive of letting herself have an enjoyable time. Eventually, things felt a bit more comfortable.

As the show wrapped up, Avery headed towards the door with Steve. Bea paused, putting a hand on her shoulder. "He's cute, too."

"Okay, lady," Avery shook her head with a laugh, tugging the older woman into a hug. "Enjoy your book club disaster."

Bea mumbled something else out with an eye roll as Steve and Avery found themselves in the hallway again.

"She's sweet," Steve commented as Avery keyed in her door code. She turned and paused before going in, holding onto the door with her left hand, looking at Steve.

"She's really been my saving grace in the last year," Avery revealed slowly as she motioned for Steve to follow her in. "Like a fun, opinionated aunt who lives across the hall."

Steve smiled at the comment, nodding in agreement. He surveyed the room quickly, seeing a pile of blankets on the couch and a mess of clothes pouring out of a hamper near her bedroom door.

She busied around as Steve stood there, glancing at her phone and grabbing a jacket, tugging on her shoes. "I know you're dying to unleash a patriotic apology onto me," she started with a smirk. "But I have to get on the subway in the next ten minutes or I'm going to be late for an appointment in Midtown."

"Let me give you a ride," Steve interjected, tilting his head. "You can pretend to listen to me during the drive."

Avery hesitated. The idea of running to her subway station was not as appealing as a drive across the bridge from Steve, instead. She just wasn't certain she was ready to talk yet but she considered there wasn't much harm in letting Steve talk.

"Okay, I guess that's a fair trade off," she finally replied with a nod of her head. "If you're willing to spare a croissant from Mia's."

Steve chuckled and mirrored her nod. "I think that can be arranged."

She smiled, pulling her navy bomber jacket tightly across her chest. She grabbed her purse, shoving her phone into the side pocket and followed him out her door. They travelled down to the parking lot quietly, Steve clicking his key fob and directing her to the black Jeep taking up space in the back. She climbed into the passenger seat, securing her seatbelt as she looked around the vehicle.

"Is this thing armoured?" Her question was mostly a joke but there was an air of genuine curiosity in her tone.

"I can't tell you that," Steve replied with a smirk, pushing a pair of Aviator's onto his face. The silence continued as they pulled out of the parking lot, Steve adjusting the radio knob to some old jazz station as they paused at a red light.

Letting out a long breath, Steve glanced over to her while they were stopped. "There's a few things I want to explain to you, if you're willing to listen."

Avery bit her lip and nodded. "Sure."

His shoulders relaxed at her reply, as if he was expecting a snappy repeat of the night before. "I didn't mean to hide who I was from you, Avery. It might be hard to believe, but I don't usually go around introducing myself as Captain America when I meet people these days."

Avery chewed on her lip more as he talked. His tone was surprisingly casual. Not that she knew Steve as well as she did Bucky, but she had always felt he had a bit of an unyielding facade. Considering what she knew now, she could see why. It was the same reason why he reminded her of Nash that day he was in her apartment as Bucky fixed her smoke detector - he was a soldier. Whether or not he wanted that to define who he was, it was ingrained in him. From his choice of words to his stance to his presence in a room, there was a certain lawfulness to it.

"I'm not ashamed of who I am, by any means. But after everything that happened in the last decade, I'm finally in a position where I can be Steve Rogers first, Captain America second." He paused briefly, as if trying to find the right words to continue. "I haven't been, for lack of better term, a civilian in a very long time."

"So, you're retired?" Avery asked, shifting in her seat to look at him.

He let out another laugh, pulling his right shoulder into a shrug. "Semi-retired, I guess. I still honour the mantle of Captain America but I've mostly relegated all the busy work to Sam and Bucky now."

She nodded again. "That makes sense."

"Everyone knows who Captain America is. When I came out of the ice, it was a pretty big deal."

"Oh, I know," Avery replied. So much for just listening to him. "My dad is a big fan. Since he was a kid and _his_ dad regaled him with stories about your infamy."

She never thought she'd see an embarrassed blush cross Steve's face yet there it was. She couldn't help but think about how cute that slight vulnerability in him was.

"But with Bucky," Steve carried on, navigating through the slow midday traffic in lower Manhattan. "Things have been really different." There was another pause as if Steve was lost for words. "There is a lot about him you deserve to know, if you're willing to..hear me out. Or him. But I don't want to get into the details if you're not ready. Or interested."

Avery opened her mouth to reply then shut it quickly. Steve sensed her hesitancy and shook his head.

"It's okay if you aren't sure. But I will say this: he's been pretty broken down over his life. Again and again, the cards he was dealt were not fair and he's really trying to make up for it now. I say this with sincerity, Avery: I haven't seen him let someone into his life the way he has with you. Not in a very long time." He shot a glance over to her again, a warm smile across his face. "No pressure, of course."

All she could do was nod. She was grateful their car ride was going to end soon because this was all a lot to take in. She didn't know why Bucky had been so interested in her and even now, hearing Steve talk about it, she was still uncertain.

"He hates doing the dishes. He likes breakfast foods, especially all that terrible sugary cereal that exists these days. He loves old musicals, though he's embarrassed to admit it. He can easily get lost in a book - old mysteries are his favourite."

Steve pulled the Jeep up outside the address Avery had given him, pulling off his sunglasses and looking over at her.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Her question was quiet, contemplative.

"Because he's only human. He's just got a lot of scars." Steve responded with a strong certainty to his tone. He extended his hand out to her. "Can I give you my number? I have a pretty free day ahead if you have any questions or want to talk more after your appointment. Or if you need a ride home. Cheaper than a taxi and cleaner than the subway."

She reached into her purse and handed her phone to him. "Thanks for the ride, Steve."

* * *

Avery was surprised she didn't cry during her hour with Dr. Brightman.

She supposed that was a good thing - she had managed to start to control her feelings. Or at least channel them into word vomit instead of just straight up sobbing onto her doctor's desk.

Brightman called it _progress_.

Avery considered it _repression_ but she wasn't the doctor. She considered she should probably have a bit more faith in herself.

She left the office with a refreshed feeling despite her rollercoaster of emotions from the week. Dr. Brightman told her it was normal to have certain triggers set off sadness, especially about a loss she wasn't healed from yet. And even though Avery didn't go into exact details of her confusion and hurt feelings that stemmed from her realization about Steve and Bucky, her doctor did give her some advice.

" _Consider why you're feeling so hurt. It's probably because you care and you're worried you care more than the person who hurt you. You owe it to them to have a conversation about it, if you feel comfortable. Confronting those feelings can help you resolve them, Avery."_

It was good advice.

Avery stood outside on the sidewalk, contemplating what she should do. She wanted to message Bucky but she wasn't sure what to say yet. So she messaged Steve, instead.

Avery: _hey, I do want to talk more, if you have time  
_ Avery: _today or tomorrow, I'm flexible_

She sighed and started down the sidewalk, pausing outside a coffeeshop. She could use a pick-me up in the form of an overpriced iced macchiato. Her phone buzzed while she was in line.

Steve: _I've got time today. Can you meet me at the Stark plaza?  
_ Avery: _yes, yes I can. I'll be there in about 20.  
_ Steve: _great. See you soon. :)_

She didn't take Captain America to be the emoticon face type but it made her smile nonetheless.

Twenty minutes later Avery was approaching a large group of mid-sized office buildings that circled a beautiful fountain and statue of Iron Man himself. It was the current home of Stark Industries and The Stark Foundation. Avery had been there a handful of times when she was first applying for her housing after the blip. It was a beautiful plaza and as she paused to text Steve that she was outside, she was growing curious as to why this was his current location.

"Avery, hey."

She turned her head to see Steve walking out of the building to her left, waving as he approached. His sunglasses were on again and he was donning a dark brown leather jacket with his jeans and button up. Under his arm was a motorcycle helmet, which he extended to Avery.

"You up for a field trip?"

* * *

Steve knew he was making a decision, taking Avery with him to visit the training compound. This was a secure location, with an advanced security and safety protocol. Without clearance or authorization, visitors were not permitted. In fact, the exact location of the facility was classified and thanks to advanced technology, the entire campus was covered by a high-tech cloaking system.

But, Steve was a decision maker. In fact, really, he was in charge of the entire Avengers operation. If someone had to have the title, it was him.

Well, between himself and Sharon, they were running the show.

The compound was rebuilt near the previous facility and battle grounds from their final match against Thanos and his army. It was smaller this time but still had dormitories, classrooms, boardrooms and a state-of-the-art training facility. It was used by team members, mostly but had previously been loaded out to specialized military personnel for training programs.

He was certain Nick Fury would not like him bringing a random civilian to their campus but Steve was taking a chance in rebuilding some trust with Avery.

Telling her the truth, _all of it,_ was going to help her and Bucky. Or so he hoped.

Their ride out of the city towards the compound didn't take that long. The afternoon traffic was agreeable and they were rolling into the garage within half an hour.

Avery clutched onto Steve tightly through the entire drive, keeping her eyes closed most of the time. She immediately regretted agreeing to the _field trip_ \- mainly because she couldn't bring herself to admit to Steve that she sometimes had to battle feeling car sick on the subway, let alone that whipping through the highways on a _motorcycle_ might not be great for her stomach or equilibrium.

She shrieked as they nearly drove straight through a wall of trees - which turned out to be some sort of fancy ass forcefield hiding the back entrance for vehicles. A garage door opened for them on their approach and when the bike's roar finally settled, she loosened her grasp on Steve's waist, though she remained glued to his back.

"Welcome back, Cap," a voice across the room said as Steve pulled off his sunglasses. Avery thought it might be Sam but she couldn't even bear to open her eyes.

"Avery?" Steve turned his head slightly to look back at her as she slowly pulled apart from him and removed the helmet. His eyes grew wide when he saw her eyes squeezed shut and skin pale. "Are you okay?"

She held up her hand to stop him. "I should have told you..I don't do road trips very well. Is there somewhere I could throw up real quick?"

"Are you serious?" Steve swung his legs off the bike and narrowed his eyes at her. Suddenly, the hand she had held in the air clamped over her mouth. He pointed her into the direction of a washroom off the side of the garage. She hurried past the rows of vehicles, some with their doors and hoods open being worked on and saw a small door with a sign indicating it was a washroom.

Sam walked over and clapped a hand on Steve's shoulder as they watched her flee from the room. "What's your plan here, man?"

Steve shrugged. "Well, it wasn't to make her sick. I just want to give her the opportunity to learn about all of this and about him. Then, well, it's up to her if she wants to stick around, I guess."

Sam nodded as they walked toward the table he was working on. He fiddled with a screwdriver in his hand, going over some notes on a tablet and comparing them to his wings laid out on the table. "It's bold but might work. There's ginger ale in the common room if she needs it." His eyes flit towards the hallway as the washroom door opens again, then he looks back to Steve. "Barnes has been training in the gym with Wanda and the kid all afternoon, if you're looking for him."

Steve patted Sam on the shoulder then walked towards the intersect of the hallway, where Avery was standing awkwardly.

"You okay?"

"Didn't actually throw up, so that's okay enough for me," Avery responded, trying to make light of the awkward situation. Steve was relieved to see the colour had returned to her face, at least.

"Maybe you should have mentioned you struggle with motion sickness," Steve replied as he directed them towards the door out of the garage.

Avery didn't say anything in return as they headed into one of the main hallways, eyes wide as she looked around the facility. She didn't know what she was expecting when Steve gave her a brief heads up before they climbed onto his bike in the city. He said he had a lot to explain to her and this was the best place to start.

The building was new, Steve pointed out as they walked through. He played tour guide well, pointing out certain areas of the building and the purpose they served. The hallways were fairly quiet, which Steve chalked up to a lull in recruitment as they planned out the future for the new Avengers team. He said most of their network was sprawled across the world, or universe, taking up residence where they were needed.

They paused in a small kitchen area - where Steve forcefully extended a bottle of water to her. She took it with a reluctant smile. She felt like she probably shouldn't argue with Captain America if he was insisting she stay hydrated.

Avery really wasn't sure why Steve was giving her this tour but she was finding the whole thing incredibly fascinating. Less than 24 hours ago, she wouldn't have given any thought to what the Avengers were up to. Really, it didn't make much of an affect on her life at all.

But now, waltzing around their training compound with Captain America himself, things felt awfully different. Not that she didn't still feel a complex mixture of emotions, still. But realizing those superheroes she had seen on television and her internet feeds for years were _real_ people, people that she played video games and ate pizza with only weeks ago, was _a lot_.

They paused in a cross section of the hallways on the second floor and Steve reached his arm out, gently pressing it against her back to lead her down towards one end of the building.

They went through a set of glass doors to a room with a big conference style table and a large screen. On the other side of the wall, there was a large set of windows. Steve tilted his head, nudging her to head over to where he was standing. The windows were internal, open to a large area below. Avery could only describe it as some sort of gymnastics-rock climbing-fitness centre hybrid of a room, the size of a few basketball courts. There were tumbling mats, trampolines, ropes, climbing walls, pits of foam blocks, punching bags - everything.

"This is the real training space," Steve said as he looked down below. Avery's eyes darted around the place and finally landed on the group of people mid conversation in the middle of the space.

First, she saw a young woman with reddy brown hair, flowing long down her back. She was dressed in basic workout clothes, black tights, sock feet, a longsleeve Avengers shirt. She was pointing around the room, then she paused to motion with her hands. Then, before Avery could figure out who she was, the woman's hands lit up with some sort of energy. She motioned across the room to lift up what appeared to be a large broken heavyweight punching bag.

Avery couldn't believe her eyes as the _thing_ just started to float through the air. What was her name? She remembered seeing this girl in the news with The Avengers before.

_The Scarlet Witch, right._

Next, standing beside her was a younger male, with messy brown hair and a wide smile. He didn't stay in place very long, starting to run and leap up the side of a large wall in the middle of the area. He managed to land there, stuck for a moment before flipping through the air and _spraying webbing_ at the broken punching bag before it fell, swinging it off to the side.

"Is that.." She trailed off, eyes wide as she turned towards Steve. He was standing there with a tight smile on his face, nodding his head.

The third person standing with them, throwing an arm around _Spider-Man_ as he came back to where they were standing was Bucky himself. He was in a pair of joggers, barefoot. On the top of his body was a sweatshirt and he was pointing across the room, as if giving the young man pointers about _something_.

Avery couldn't help but smile when she saw him.

Somehow, as if he could feel it or _something_ , he turned just as she smiled. His eyes darted upwards, and even though they were in the centre of the large space, it was clear he saw them standing at the window. Avery's eyes grew wide as he gazed at her, then the two people standing with him looked up at them, too.

Spider-Man's arm went up and he waved eagerly. Probably to Steve but Avery just quickly turned around, letting her back face the window instead.

"I take it you're not ready to talk to him. That's fair." Steve reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "But there is something else I want to show you while you're here."

* * *

Bucky was miserable.

As Sam liked to point out, he was _often_ miserable.

But that particular Friday, after what had happened with Avery the night before, he was especially miserable. He felt like a complete asshole and he vowed to himself he would never, _never_ , do anything to see that look on Avery's face again.

Well, if she would even ever speak to him again.

But her face as she hissed her words at him before hurrying away. It was the last thing he wanted when his truths came out. He kept playing the last few weeks over and over again. When was the right time for his honesty? They moment was never going to present itself organically and he knew that, he really did. Yet, he played it safe and waited. And waited and waited.

Then it blew up in his face anyway.

Steve insisted Bucky stay the night at his place. Partly because it was the easiest way for him to physically give Avery space. They all knew Bucky would be tempted to paw outside her door like an apologetic stray cat. And Steve knew Bucky better than anyone - which meant he was likely to spiral.

He didn't. Which Bucky considered a testament to himself. He was even surprised when he woke up that morning without his hands balled into fists, ready to instill whatever pain he could _onto himself_. Steve had talked him down as they tried to fall asleep, insisting he didn't blow it and that it was possible to come back from this mess.

Whether Steve believed himself was up for debate. But it was what Bucky needed to hear either way.

Bucky was disappointed in himself more than anything. He knew how important trust was in any kind of relationship. It took him a long time to build trust with Sam as a working partner - hour long stake outs where he had to prove his allegiance even after his brain was fixed. His entire relationship with Steve was built on years and years of trust - that they were to always be honest with each other, that they would support the other through everything life threw their way, that having each other was more important than their missions.

And the past few weeks, building a trusting relationship with the girl he was dating had been so effortless. She opened up to him slowly at first, then threw layers of vulnerability away to reveal herself to him. She bared herself, physically, despite her insecurity and she _trusted_ he respected her, appreciated her, and actually enjoyed spending time with her. Yet, despite not saying it out loud, he had broken that trust by not being honest.

_And it fucking sucked._

He hated that he hurt her with his half-truths.

He drove out to the training compound alone, having a long, hard conversation with himself. He knew she had every right to ignore him, forever if she wanted to. It wouldn't be hard to throw away a month of knowing a person, especially when they had already lived in the same building together for a year without seeing each other. He supposed they could return to that but he'd miss hearing her laugh and her witty responses to him. He'd miss how she grazed her hand across his stubble covered jaw and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. He'd miss her soft skin and softer lips.

Would it be easy enough to forget all that? Maybe it wasn't worth it after all. Maybe the risk he took in getting to know her was too much, too soon. Maybe it was all his own fault.

He went for a long, _long_ run when he got to the Avengers compound. Then, after choking down one of Sam's protein shakes, he camped out in the gym for the afternoon. He was joined by Wanda and Peter, eventually and while he tried to isolate himself from whatever they were doing, Peter's chipper attitude and unrelenting almost teasing brought him to train _with_ them, instead of by himself.

They were in the middle of running a few drills with the young spider kid when Bucky paused to look around the room. He felt a weird warmth wash over him, for a brief moment. As he turned his head to look upwards, where he often caught Steve watching whomever was on the floor training, he noticed Avery standing up there with his best friend.

Before Bucky had left Steve's that morning, he remembered his friend mentioning he was going to run an errand in Brooklyn. Why didn't he just put two and two together then. Of course Steve was going to try and fast-track a fix with Avery. He was probably beating himself up as much as Bucky over her reaction the night before.

"Who's the girl with Mr. Rogers?" Peter's eyes darted from Bucky to Wanda, then back up to the room above, waving his hand around. The girl in question quickly turned around from them. Steve's hand went to her shoulder.

"She's upset," Wanda said quietly, narrowing her eyes up to the room. "Hurt. She's trying really hard to put a wall around all that vulnerability." Her hand reached out and nudged Bucky. "Reminds me of how you're feeling."

"I told you to stay out," Bucky said with an irritated pout, anxiously running a hand through his hair as he watched Steve and Avery exit the room upstairs. "It's enough of a nightmare in my mind without you meddling around."

"Can't help it, you big puppy," Wanda said to him with a smile. "You former spies are hard to read, I need help sometimes."

Bucky rolled his eyes and motioned his head towards Peter. He tried not to think about Avery and Steve. But..her coming out to the facility with him must have meant something. She didn't slam her door in his face, at least.

"C'mon, let's run it again, kid."

* * *

Avery wasn't sure why even making eye contact, _hardly making eye contact_ , with Bucky through a pane of glass, over a hundred feet apart, made her feel so overwhelmed. She just wasn't exactly sure who she was making eye contact with anymore and that was the hardest part.

Was that still Bucky, the guy she was kind of dating? The sweet, gentle Bucky who held her while she was Sad the other night? The one who teased her, just to rile her up and watch her face scrunch up in a frustrated pout? The metal-armed Adonis who made her legs shake the other morning?

Or was this James Buchanan Barnes, presumed dead war veteran?

Or could he be both…

Steve directed Avery to the elevator and sent them down into the basement of the facility. As the doors opened, he motioned down a darker hallway and into a room at the end of the hall.

The door plate read _The Vault._

"Steve, I know this is going to sound dramatic, but you're not about to murder me, are you? Because this hallway is giving some concerning vibes."

Avery was joking. Well, half-joking.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. "No, but I will admit the lighting down here is a bit off putting." With a scan of his hand over the mounted screen to the left of the door, the door clicked and opened slowly. She followed him in, tentatively, still gripping the bottle of water in her hand.

Inside _The Vault_ was just a huge array of filing cabinets. On the far wall was a clear sheet of glass, presumably a screen. They took a seat at the table in the middle of the room, Steve typing away at a built in tablet on table and Avery twiddling her thumbs.

"This is basically just our archive," Steve finally said, pausing his typing fingers. "Everything in here is classified. Very classified." His tone was quite serious, as if Avery might not understand the gravity of what he was doing. This was clearly not a room people like her would normally be privy to.

He pursed his lips together before he continued. He looked incredibly hesitant all of a sudden.

"I want to tell you some things about Bucky," Steve started again, very slowly. "But before we get into it, I have to make something clear."

Avery wrung her hands together in her lap anxiously. She nodded. "Okay."

"What I'm about to show you and explain to you isn't easy to understand. But right now, this very second," Steve pointed a finger onto the table. "I'm going to give you the option of making a clean break. If you don't want to know, if you have no desire to continue having Bucky in your life, it's okay. There's no hard feelings. Because I can't _unshow_ you any of this."

Avery took in a slow breath, chewing on her lip. It was fascinating to her, this side of Steve. A combination of protective and trusting, but his voice was lined with apprehension. Giving her an out, this far into their day together, seemed like a lot.

When she broke it down and ripped away the layers, Steve was scared. He didn't want Bucky to hurt but he wanted to be prepared if that's where this was going.

The more Avery thought about it, the more she knew what her answer was. She didn't want to lose Bucky from her life. She really, really didn't.

_What do I have to lose?_

"I don't need a clean break. I'm in."

Steve gave her a hard glance, as if to double check she knew what she was saying.

"C'mon, Steve. I'm not a china doll. And I can keep a secret." She swallowed hard.

Steve nodded. "Okay." He tapped on the tablet screen again and suddenly the large glass pane above them activated. A mass amount of documents flew across the screen, stacking on top of one another. Avery's eyes darted around, seeing flashes of Bucky's face, Steve's face, blacked out documents, news video coverage.

"I know you found out about who Bucky was because you looked up Captain America and the Commandos." Steve tapped on a photo that filled the screen. Her eyes immediately went to Bucky in the lineup of the old sepia photo. He was disheveled, yielding a large gun, in an outfit that was clearly not Army regulation. His face was young but stoic.

"Sure, yeah. I mean, we covered you and these guys in school a bit, too." Avery replied. She touted off the few facts that she remembered from her Google search. "James Buchanan Barnes, best friend of Steven Grant Rogers. 107th. Sergeant. But he died, right? All the info online says Bucky died in 1944."

Steve sighed and it felt heavy. "We thought he did." He swiped away the photo on the screen and pulled up a variety of paper documents, old scanned images of documentation including a death certificate. Then, he really dove in.

Avery listened and watched as Steve explained _everything_.

Bucky being captured by HYDRA. The modified super-soldier serum. His first prosthetic arm. How they trained him to be an assassin, The Assassin. Their best asset. _The Asset._ How when they didn't need him, he remained in a cryogenic state.

Steve very obviously skipped over details that he couldn't bear to repeat, but Avery knew. Bucky did a lot of terrible things. Assassin wasn't something to be taken lightly. It wasn't _him,_ of course. He was manipulated, brainwashed, _controlled._

Time caught up in Steve's storytelling soon enough. Avery's ears peaked when he used the term _The Winter Soldier_. She remembered hearing _something_ about that on the news, ever so vaguely, years and years ago. Before the big SHIELD mess in D.C.

Sam and Steve found Bucky. Saved Bucky. He went to Wakanda, he lived there. They saved Bucky. He found meaning again, he found parts of himself again. He saved himself.

Bucky didn't vanish in Kenya. He vanished fighting in Wakanda. Avery let out a sharp exhale at the unfortunate irony of him disappearing during another battle, during another war no one wanted.

Steve paused then, closing his eyes. Despite it being years ago, Avery knew those weren't easy memories. She shuffled her chair over and placed her hand on Steve's wrist.

"I think I can figure the rest of this out," she said quietly, looking up at the last photo on the screen above them. It was a frame taken from a security camera of Bucky, as The Winter Soldier. His hair was long, arm a shiny silver, dressed in black tactical gear.

"Bucky..is a good person." Steve pulled his hand away from her, balling it into a fist.

"I know, Steve." Avery's face fell as she looked at him. Steve loved him, deeply. Her heart felt for him. "I can see why Bucky didn't lead with all of this."

"I just.." Steve sat up straighter, composing himself. As if that moment of weakness never happened. "I know this is a lot. But he's working so hard to be better. These last few weeks..I've never seen him so excited or nervous before. I mean, he's still learning how to handle all these emotions again but..he really wants you in his life, Avery."

She took a deep breath and managed a small smile. "Thank you for telling me this."

"He would have told you, eventually." Steve swiped to close all the files and turn off the screen, relaxing his shoulders. "And there is a lot more to know that you should hear from him directly."

She nodded. "I think I still need some time."

"I understand."

They headed back upstairs, towards the garage area again. "I hate to be that person, but if there is any way our return trip to the city can be on four wheels instead of two, I will fare much better."

Steve chuckled and Avery felt better. Seeing his reservations downstairs in The Vault really moved her but she preferred Steve with a friendly smile on his face.

"No more motorcycle rides, I'll make a note for future reference."

* * *

Bucky thought that maybe, _just maybe_ , Avery would reach out to him after her visit to the facility. Steve had filled him in on what he had told her and while under usual circumstances he might be particularly annoyed Steve swooped in and told _his_ story - he felt a huge sense of relief.

He still found it incredibly hard not to be _ashamed_ of who he used to be. Even though he knew it wasn't his fault, it wasn't him. It wasn't. He knew that, he knew that. Steve reminded him of it after every night terror, after every smug comment from a classified government official.

It didn't matter how many times he heard it, there was this tiny voice in the back of his head that always reminded him of what he had done before.

Steve said Avery had been understanding.

" _She'll come around, Buck." Steve pressed a kiss against his temple before Bucky climbed out of his jeep that afternoon._

" _Hope so." Bucky muttered out in response, closing his eyes. He reached out and took Steve's right hand and squeezed it. "Thank you. I'm lucky to have you, punk."_

Bucky did his best to avoid his phone all evening. He was aching to reach out to her again but he stopped himself. She needed time. He had to give her that space to try and understand. He occupied himself with a book, an old Sherlock Holmes novel picking up dust on the top of his shelf. It was a safe indulgence and let his mind wander for most of the evening.

He eventually found himself resting the book on his chest, laid back on his couch, staring at the ceiling. He wondered what she was doing. If she was downstairs, just two floors away.

As if on command, he heard his phone buzzing. It was familiar, like a series of rapidfire text messages were coming in all at once.

_Avery_.

He scrambled to sit up and reached across the table. His heart swelled when he saw her name on his screen.

Avery: _omg i'm just running through all the lies you told me  
_ Avery: _and i still feel like an idit  
_ Avery: _idiot  
_ Avery: _that night you walked me homef rom the barcade  
_ Avery: _you made some lame joke about being 108 yrs old  
_ Avery: _and that wasn't even ntrue  
_ Avery: _untrue  
_ Avery: _fuck_

He scanned his eyes over the messages again and again. Something seemed off. He couldn't tell if she was mad or not.

They kept going.

Avery: _an i made a joke about Thor during that storm  
_ Avery: _and u didn't even tell me you know the guy  
_ Avery: _u know THOR_

There was a pause so he finally found the time to reply.

Bucky: _I've really only met him once or twice  
_ Bucky: _but you have a good memory  
_ Avery: _i've been making a list in my phone of Bucky facts  
_ Avery: _trying to figure out what is real  
_ Avery: _or not  
_ Bucky: _are you home? we can go over the list if you want_

Bucky watched their conversation to see if she would reply. Maybe that was pushing it.

Avery: _i'm out with heidi  
_ Avery: _she's somewhe  
_ Avery: _somewhere  
_ Avery: _with some dude idk  
_ Avery: _i am on my fith whiskey sore  
_ Avery: _sour  
_ Bucky: _where are you? Are you okay?  
_ Avery: _imfine_

Her last message included a series of emoticons that didn't make much sense but Bucky still smiled. His chest felt a bit tight as he thought about her out somewhere, getting drunk sort of alone. He really hoped she was safe.

He looked down at his phone again as he leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes. His phone buzzed again.

Avery: _imsad  
_ Avery: _for u :(  
_ Bucky: _don't worry about me, doll.  
_ Bucky: _are you safe where you are?  
_ Avery: _safe enough  
_ Avery: _i know self defense_

She attached a little smiling devil emoticon to her last message and Bucky kind of smiled.

Bucky: _you must have a good teacher_

He wasn't sure if flirting was appropriate but he wanted to test the waters. And keep her talking until he could know she was going to get home safely.

Avery: _a super hot teacher  
_ Avery: _fuck  
_ Avery: _i gotta deal with this tquila before my uber gets here  
_ Bucky: _avery, please be careful_

Before Bucky knew what his feet were doing, he was standing upright and heading out his apartment door. He headed down the two flights of stairs and slumped down outside of 509. If he didn't know where she was, at least now he knew she was on her way home. He accepted the fact that she might not be happy to see him waiting there and that was only fair. He'd leave her be, if that's what she wanted.

But he just wanted to see her and make sure she was okay.

About twenty minutes later, he finally saw her appear at the stairwell door. It swung open quickly and she entered the hallway slowly. At least she was standing upright. The first thing he noticed was the beautiful little floral dress she was wearing. As he stood up, his eyes swept down her body. He noticed she had her shoes in one hand and her small purse in the other. She paused and leaned against the wall before noticing him.

Why was she barefoot and why..

There was a trickle of blood falling down her right shin, starting at the knee.

"Avery?"

Avery's eyes drifted up and glanced down towards her apartment - _which suddenly seemed so far away_ \- and noticed Bucky pulling himself off the ground. Was he waiting for her? She couldn't help but smile. She headed towards him.

"You're bleeding," Bucky said as he took a few steps forward.

She paused when she was a few feet in front of him, just outside her door. She leaned forward to look down at her legs.

"Huh. I ate shit getting out of the car," she muttered, standing up straight again. "Probably gave that Uber driver a laugh and a great view of my ass."

Bucky swallowed hard at the visual. His concern for the cut on her leg outweighed the sharp jealous feeling of some stranger seeing her in a compromised position. She shuffled past him without waiting for a reply, dragging her feet.

"Are you going to come help clean me up, Sarge?" Avery was fumbling with her door and turned to smile at him over her shoulder. Bucky knew she was drunk and likely letting her inebriation loosen up how she was feeling, but damn, if her playfulness wasn't making him feel things.

He followed her into her apartment, watching as she carefully dropped her shoes on the floor behind her door and tossed her purse to the ground. She stopped in the middle of the room and closed her eyes.

"You alright, doll?" He walked over and paused behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She shook his hand away and moved her feet again, moving towards the bathroom.

Part of Bucky really wanted to just walk away. This was touch and go and he didn't want to upset her by being in her apartment. But he figured it was pretty likely she might just pass out soon enough and he could tell that scrape on her knee needed to be cleaned out. He let out a long sigh and followed her into the small bathroom.

"Can you sit," he said quietly, "There." He pointed her towards the side of the bathtub. She pouted but did as he instructed, bending to sit on the tub with her bleeding leg resting inside. He opened her medicine cabinet and grabbed the small patch kit she had produced before. He smiled at the memory that seemed so long ago now, bounding into her apartment because of her shouting fire alarm, cleaning up the scratch on her face.

He moved towards the opposite end of her bathtub and reached up to grab her detachable showerhead, pulling it down and turning on the water.

"I went out to get drunk," she whispered out, shifting back a bit to lean against the back of her tub.

"Mission accomplished then," Bucky replied to her, testing out the water with his right hand to make sure it wasn't too hot or cold. He shifted towards her and she pointed her leg, watching as the dark blood slowly dripped to reach her ankle.

"I was tryin' to stop my feelings," Avery continued, bracing herself as he gently hosed off her leg. It hurt, a bit. She bit her lip as she winced.

"That's a bit reckless, Ave," Bucky replied to her quietly.

She let out a huff, crossing her arms. "Yeah well, I dunno how to deal with the confusing feelings. So it's easier to try not to feel 'em at all."

Bucky didn't reply. He shut off the tap and reached over to grab a towel that was hanging off a metal rack behind her. He moved to sit on the floor ahead of her, legs crossed, motioning her to spin towards him. Slowly, he moved the towel up the bottom of her right leg to pat it dry then narrowed his eyes onto the cut.

Avery did her best to accept the fact that his hands were trailing up her lower leg. She closed her eyes and gripped onto the side of her tub.

"I wish you'd talk t'me," Bucky said quietly. "I know Steve told you everything."

"He told me a lot, yeah," she replied, shaking her head. "I'm not sure what to say." She opened her mouth to keep going when suddenly she felt a stinging pain on her leg. "Oh my fucking GOD." She kicked her foot at his chest as he laughed, holding the bottle of rubbing alcohol in his hand. "Give me a fucking warning next time."

She let out a long breath and met his eyes.

His goddamn eyes.

And that stupid, _stupid_ smile.

"Stop smiling at me," she grumbled out, closing her eyes again. His hands, flesh and metal, felt nice on the skin of her leg. He leaned down, bringing his face towards her knee, gently blowing on the cut to dry it off.

"What's wrong with my smile?" Bucky replied, a look of faux hurt on his face.

"Makes me feel helpless," Avery whispered. "Like everything is going to be okay."

"That doesn't sound like a bad thing to me, doll." Bucky finished up what he was doing with her knee by applying a few bandages. Plain this time, as he didn't want to waste her Captain America ones. He stood up and extended his hand to her, which she hesitantly took. "Do you need some water?"

They exited the bathroom and stood in her kitchen instead. She kept her distance from him, narrowed eyes watching as he grabbed a glass from her cupboard and filled it up from the tap. He placed it on the island in front of her. She crossed her arms and just stared at him, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Talk to me, doll. What's going on in your head?"

She inhaled slowly then brought her hands down, placing them flat on the island. "I just don't get it! Time doesn't make sense like how were you born in 19-whatever but you're standing here in my kitchen as some handsome-ass 30 year old man? I complain constantly about losing five years of my life and you've lost so much more. How do you deal?" She wanted to stop herself but it was like she couldn't help but tell him _all_ of her thoughts. "Plus, why me? I'm honestly pretty irritating and imperfect and annoying. You have so much life to catch up on and you want to spend time with me? I just don't get it. I don't. I'm so stupid, I feel so stupid." She closed her eyes and leaned onto the island, head down on her arms.

"Avery, you've gotta stop saying that. You're not stupid." Bucky took a step forward and leaned on the island opposite her, reaching his hand out to rub across the back of her head. "A little annoying sometimes, sure. But so is Steve. That's something I like about ya' both."

Bucky hated seeing her go through all these emotions. It was probably what she needed, to talk it through out loud, but it shouldn't have been the alcohol driving her there. He watched her back move up and down as she took a few deep breaths. She pulled herself up quickly, eyes going wide as she brought her hand up to her mouth. She groaned and rushed towards her bathroom again, closing the door behind her.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at the parallel.

"Ave, you alright?" He called out as he walked towards the closed door. She was definitely throwing up.

"I'll be okay," she called back a few moments later. "You don't hafta stay."

"I can..if you want."

There was a silence. He heard her sigh.

"I'd kind of like to be alone. I'm sorry." Bucky nodded to himself, trying to will himself away from the door frame. He wanted to stay and tuck her in, make sure she had a glass of water and an Advil on her side table.

"Thank you, Bucky." Her voice called out once more.

He thought maybe they were going to be okay but now he wasn't so sure.

"Have a good sleep, doll."

* * *

Three things happened to Avery on Sunday that told her the right thing to do. That explained exactly what her heart wanted, even if she was feeling _confused_.

First, around nine in the morning, she heard a knock at the door. She groaned but dragged her hungover ass out of bed anyway. Maybe it was Bucky.

There was no one standing there when she opened the door, but she did look down to see a drink tray holding a small McDonald's bag beside a large fountain drink cup. She crouched down and grabbed it. Sweet tea. Inside the bag, hashbrowns and a sandwich.

Second, when she walked to the farmer's market to escape her apartment for a little bit, she got a text from her brother. She couldn't get over how excited she was to hear from Nash. She'd be hard pressed to admit it, but she missed him.

Nash: _hope you're doing okay, Avery Ray. you better be taking care of yourself, wallowing is bad for you. Jeremy would tell you something dramatic like carpe diem but I think all you need is some tough love: it's not fair to be angry forever. Miss you, kid. See u in a month._

He was right, of course. The tough love was kind of exactly what she needed. Her brother was out there, training to be better and do more for his country, yet she was wallowing in self-pity because of her confusing feelings. It's like he knew she was making a mess of her feelings and not thinking straight. Like some sort of stupid brother intuition.

What the fuck did she have to lose?

Third, when she stopped to grab some more stone fruit from the Russian man's stall at the market, he gave her a friendly smirk as she grabbed a basket of peaches.

"I remember you," he said, his voice rough but kind. "With the nice _druzhok._ You, you," he paused to laugh. " _Krasotka."_

"Will you translate that for me?" Avery gave him a small smile as she handed him some cash.

He grasped his hand on hers as he took the bills, giving them a squeeze. "Beautiful girl. Beautiful girl. _Krasotka._ "

She thanked him as her cheeks blushed, placing the small bundle of fruit into her cloth bag.

As she walked away from the man, she knew.

She thought back to her history lesson with Steve and the look in his eye as he recounted everything about his best friend. " _Bucky..is a good person."_

She wanted that century old, former assassin in her life. Confusing feelings be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOLKS. I am overwhelmed with appreciation for all of you reading along. I can't thank you enough. I know author's always sound like broken records but positive feedback, even in someone subscribing or kudos-ing a story, can make all the difference. And to all of you who commented! I am truly blown away and so grateful for your support. thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> Story notes: i know this chapter had a lot of information and didn't move us very far along plot wise, but it's important that Avery gets to know Steve, too. I have so many plans for this lil trio! It's hashtag A LOT for Avery's brain right now but I think she's got it sorted. also I've been listening to the Arkells a lot, if anyone needs some good music. Particularly the first few songs on Rally Cry (Hand Me Downs inspired some dialogue here :))
> 
> Next, we'll pick up on Memorial Day and then it's time to figure out how to date an Avenger. Who is 100 years old. Who also has a boyfriend?


	11. Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: sexytime. and sex insecurity/anxiety.

"I love you, too, Dad."

Memorial Day had always been something to take seriously in the Felix family. While most families skirted off to the beach or cottage on the illustrious last weekend of May, Avery always remembered donning a dress and sitting through a service her father was leading or participating in. Once they lost Jeremy, the whole day hit a lot harder.

Avery would have preferred to make a trip up to Boston that weekend to spend the day with her dad but she was grateful to know Lora and Allie were filling that gap instead. She wanted to save her money for her train ticket home on the July 4th weekend instead. Not that she couldn't fit more than one train ticket into her budget, but it was better to focus her energy into one long trip where she was knocked out with Gravol, instead of two.

While she had flip flopped between taking a day to herself at home and going out to do something, thanks to her dad's prodding (and a final reminder as she ended their phone call) she was heading further south into Brooklyn to seek out the Veterans' Affairs ceremony Steve was going to be speaking at. Aside from a few messages Sunday afternoon, Avery hadn't really spoken to Bucky since she had sent him out of her apartment Saturday night. He was doing the respectable thing and giving her the space she requested but Avery was ready to face him again. She wanted to see him.

She'd even be as bold to say that she _missed_ him.

Feelings.

Avery tucked her phone into the pocket of her denim jacket, anxiously tapping her fingers on her knee as she waited for her subway stop. She was going to get to the service in just the nick of time, if she could meander a few blocks quickly. Upon reflection, she figured she could have messaged Steve or Bucky for a ride but between sleeping in, plant care and trying to put together a subtle patriotic outfit (she went with black shorts, a navy tank with white polka dots and a red bandana headband), her morning had slipped away from her. And of course her dad called her just as she got onto the subway car.

When her station finally came over the intercom, she moved towards the door, grateful she had decided on her white canvas sneakers instead of sandals. Easier to sprint in, she hoped.

The VA office was attached to a community center in East Flatbush, just down the street from Holy Cross Cemetery. She yanked the door open and nearly ran right into Sam on her way in.

"Hey Avery," he said with a smile, taking a step back as she came to a halt. "Don't worry, we haven't started yet."

"God, I'm out of shape," Avery replied with a small smirk, pausing to catch her breath. "Sam, I wanted to apologize to you for the other night, too."

He put his hand up to stop her, shaking his head. "What? No, no. I was complicit with those geezers, too. I'm just glad you're sticking around. I think you're helping thaw Bucky's heart."

Avery instinctively blamed her blushing cheeks on her quick dash inside the building but Sam's comment made her stomach turn. Sam handed her a small piece of paper outlining an order of service and glanced back towards the door to see if anyone else was coming. "Wanna sit with us?"

Avery nodded, clutching the paper in her left hand and using the other to hold one of the straps of her backpack. She didn't know who _us_ was but she could only guess.

Inside the community center recreation space, a multipurpose gym with a stage, there were rows of chairs laid out in front of a few tables, a handful of chairs facing forward instead and a podium. Avery quickly spotted Steve up there, chatting with a few people in their military dress uniforms. There weren't that many people in attendance, maybe about 50 or 60. The rows were sparsely filled and Sam directed Avery towards the left of the chair rows and stopped around the second row where Bucky was seated with a few other people.

Sam made a _less than discreet_ coughing noise and motioned for Avery to duck into the row before him. She turned to shoot him a _look_ then let out a breath, taking a few steps towards Bucky, who had turned and shifted his attention to Avery.

"Hey," Bucky said quickly. Their eyes met as she shrugged off her backpack, leaving it at her feet as she sat. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Avery replied with a small smile. Before she could say anything else, their attention was directed to one of the military men at the front of the room talking to start the ceremony.

It was a few moments later, when Steve started to speak, that Avery started to feel overwhelmed. She rested her hands together in her lap, staring straight ahead at the podium as the words flowed out of him. She had assumed Steve was a good speech giver, he had to be. It came with the territory. But listening to the passion in his voice as he talked about what loss was like during World War Two, Avery was blown away.

"It's one thing to remember the loss that is felt when someone makes a sacrifice for their country. Remembering is the easy part. It's forgetting that complicates everything." Steve paused, glancing down at the papers in front of him and took a deep breath.

Avery didn't know Steve well but she could understand pain and remorse. She could hear it in his tone and she felt her heart rate increase as he continued.

"Every other day of the year, it is easier to forget about war. It happened a long time ago. Or it is happening in a far away place. But to each of you, sitting in this room with me today, I can only imagine you're the type to remember. You remember hearing about someone being called into action. Or perhaps you remember being there in the thick of it."

Avery took a few long breaths and closed her eyes. She reached up to her neck and pulled out the chain she had been hiding underneath her shirt. Her brother's dog tags. She closed her eyes and held them in her left hand, tight against her chest.

"You remember the dread of not knowing when safety would come. You remember understanding the choice that was being made, that coming home was not a guarantee."

Avery thought about her brother Jeremy and the ache in her heart, how much she missed him. She thought about Nash, too. And his friends. And her dad. And Bucky and Steve and Sam. How the wars they fought in happened at different times, in different places. Yet, their service tied them altogether. Their commitment to serve outweighed everything else.

As Steve continued his speech, circling back to a memory of the team of Howling Commandos he had been so close with, Avery felt something on her leg. She opened her eyes and looked down. Bucky's gloved left hand was resting on her knee all of a sudden. She couldn't bear to look over at him, but instead she extended her hand out and grabbed his. He held on tight.

"It was Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy who said: _'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone._ Which is why we are here today, to remember."

Bucky held her hand for the rest of the service.

He was nervous to let her go.

After walking back to his apartment on Saturday night, fighting with himself on whether or not he should camp out in the fifth floor hallway all night, he had conceded the fact that Steve was right. Avery needed time.

He just felt he could do more. Wrestling with his feelings alone was hard.

On Sunday morning he went for a very long run and stopped at that same McDonald's he and Avery had gone to a few weeks ago. He picked up a coffee for himself and that same breakfast she had ordered for herself to combat her hangover. He dropped them off outside her door and resisted waiting to see if she would answer.

He did receive a short _thank you_ text from her not long after.

He spent most of his Sunday at the library - which had been an unexpected safe space for him recently. For one, it got him out of his apartment building. And two, it let him continue his ongoing journey of playing catch up on literature and interesting topics from the last 80 years. The New York Public Library had an expansive archive and Bucky especially liked to read through old newspapers.

It ate up most of his Sunday and going over to Steve's for dinner kept him from knocking at Avery's door. He was going to message her about the Memorial Day event himself but Steve said she heard about it through her dad already, so he was hoping she would come.

To him, if she was going to show up on Memorial Day, it was a good sign. A sign that maybe they were over the worst of this little mess and they could come across on the other side. He was flooded with relief when he turned away from Sharon to figure out why Sam was coughing like an idiot and Avery was sliding in to sit beside him.

They were going to be okay.

While Steve's strong bravado echoed through the room, Bucky felt her tense up at his side. She was trying to conceal it, her sinking breaths and increased heart rate, and she held on tight to whatever was residing around her neck. He felt inclined to reach his hand out, to show her he was there, _right there_ , if she needed him. She squeezed his hand, tight.

After Steve spoke, a few other military personnel followed. The speeches weren't long, but they did leave an impact. The ceremony wrapped up, leaving the attendees with a sense of respect and overwhelming gratitude for the members of the military who lost their lives over the years.

It reminded Bucky he was happy to be alive now, still. Despite his lack of free will in the decisions made for him when HYDRA treated him like a weapon, he was here now. He had the breath in his lungs, the blood in his veins and most control over his mind.

He was alive.

He shifted to look at Avery afterwards and she released his hand, as he did, shaking her head as her cheeks blushed. She mumbled out a quiet apology for keeping his hand captive while he smiled.

"S'okay." Bucky shook his head, narrowing his eyes to look into hers. They weren't sad per se, but there was a hanging heaviness.

"I'm alright," she said before he could ask, tilting her head. Then, without even a second of hesitation, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He relaxed, letting a smile break through as she pulled away. "Sorry, that may not be appropriate in this exact moment but I didn't want to wait."

He couldn't stop smiling, even as she excused herself from her seat and snuck past Sam to say hello to Steve and another person at the front of the room. Bucky leaned back in his chair and watched as she walked away.

Sam slid over to Avery's empty chair, crossing his arms over his chest, mimicking Bucky's pose. "Well, that seems like a good sign."

"C'mon Sam, please don't."

Sam shifted and swatted him on the arm, a coy smile turning up on his lips. "You've gotta DTR, man. If she can work through the fact that you're older than her grandpa, you've gotta lock that down."

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and rolled his eyes. His eyes scanned across the room and picked out Avery talking to Steve and another one of the speaker's, a warm smile on her face. Sam's sass was not required but he hated to admit his partner likely had a bit more relationship experience than Bucky had. "DTR?"

"Define. The. Relationship." Sam pointed at Bucky then across to Avery. "You know, ask her to be your girlfriend."

Bucky's face scrunched up in discomfort. "Considering we've hardly gotten past the fact that I'm a former brainwashed assassin, I don't think we're there yet."

Sam shrugged then held his hands up in defeat. "Suit yourself, man. I just think she might be one of those good ones, you don't want her to slip away." He slapped a hand down on Bucky's knee. "Now, make yourself useful and help me put all these chairs away."

* * *

After turning and kissing Bucky so quickly, Avery quickly excused herself from her seat. She was a bit overwhelmed but overall, there was a feeling of contentment about her. At the front of the room, she paused to say hello to Steve and thank him for his words. He swept her into a half hug and said he was glad to see her. Their eyes locked for a moment or two, an unspoken understanding that _things were okay_.

In the lobby of the building she took a break to find the washroom and upon her exit was stopped by the blonde who had been sitting on Bucky's other side. Avery recognized her from the night of Bucky's birthday, when they were all out at the bar together. She greeted Avery with a warm smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she talked.

"Hi, I'm Sharon," she said with an extended hand. Avery smiled and extended her own in return. Whomever she was, she had a solid handshake. "I work with all those boys." Sharon's hand motioned back into the hall. The eyes of both women followed, catching Sam and Bucky in the middle of some sort of race to stack and put chairs away.

Avery rolled her eyes. "That must be a challenge for you." She smirked. "I'm Avery."

"It's nice to finally meet you," Sharon replied quickly. "I'm hosting a big barbeque at my place this afternoon, I'd love for you to come."

Avery's mouth dropped open for a moment, then she paused to bite her lip. "Oh, thank you. I'd love to. Is there anything I can bring?"

"Oh, god no. I have to prepare for a lot of huge appetites so there will be plenty of food. Just come and enjoy the company." Sharon reached out and squeezed Avery's forearm for a moment then turned to head towards the door. "Just jump in with one of those idiots. I'll see you in a bit."

Avery nodded a goodbye towards the blonde woman as she headed out, then turned to head back into the hall. In the midst of rushing out of her seat after the ceremony, she suddenly realized she had left her backpack in front of her chair. She headed towards Sam and Bucky, who were leaning up against the stage at the front of the room.

"Did one of you safely put my bag away when you were stacking all those chairs?"

Bucky twisted his shoulder to reveal her backpack safely secured on his back. "I've got it."

Avery just smiled. "You don't have to carry that."

"Pssh, just let him do the boyfriend thing," Sam jumped in, throwing a smirk towards Bucky.

"Shut up, Wilson," Bucky mumbled out, throwing out a fist to punch Sam's shoulder. Avery's eyes darted between them curiously. She decided it would be best to just ignore the comment, considering the crimson red blush crossing Bucky's cheeks.

"So, I hear we're off to a barbeque."

* * *

Avery really liked Sam. In particular, she liked his _take no shit_ attitude and the amusing rapport he had with Bucky. It was clear their relationship was more than just partners at work and she found herself feeling comforted by the fact that they clearly looked out for each other. It was playful but she could tell that in a time of need, Bucky and Sam had each other's backs.

After piling into Steve's Jeep, Avery, Bucky, Sam and Steve headed to Sharon's place on the Upper West Side. The rooftop of her building was absolutely incredible, with outdoor patio furniture, a big barbeque and entertaining dining table, plus, somehow, fake grass and a beautiful garden.

In the most unsurprising turn of events, Steve took up the job of grill master and stationed himself behind the industrial barbeque and Bucky busied himself helping Sharon retrieve things from her apartment. Avery could only guess he didn't love the idea of being social with so many people, so occupying himself with busy tasks from Sharon seemed to keep him from having to make small talk. There were a few dozen people in attendance. Avery guessed they were mainly agents and other people who worked closely with the Avengers, and maybe some people who lived in the building with Sharon. She took residence on one of the patio couches on the corner of the roof and was happy when Sam plunked himself down beside her.

"Steve was telling me your brother was Air Force, too" Sam started, propping up a leg on the table in front of them. He rested his beer there and turned to look at her. "I think I might have known him."

"Really?" Avery's curiosity jumped as she looked over at Sam. She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head.

"Mm hmm," Sam said, closing one of his eyes to think. "Your last name is Felix, right?"

"Yeah. His name was Jeremy Felix. He would have been in training around..I don't know, like fourteen years ago now. He enlisted at the end of summer, after his high school grad."

A faint smirk crawled across Sam's face. "Okay, yeah. I remember him. We didn't end up stationed together, but we must have overlapped for a few weeks at Lackland."

Avery held up her hand for him to pause while she reached for her phone. In a few seconds she had navigated through her gallery and pulled up an old photo she had saved. It was her sandwiched between the twins, at some celebratory military event. Nash was in his dress uniform, Jeremy was in a basic dress shirt and tie. It was probably the last picture she had with both of them.

"Oh yeah, I remember him, definitely," Sam's smile grew. "I have exactly one memory of him, actually. We had some stupid ass test one morning, some fitness challenge real early in the morning. Before they even let us into the mess to eat. He was the only one to scale all five of the big A-Frame walls without pausing. It was pretty impressive. Everyone started calling him The Bear."

Avery wanted to cry as she heard Sam go through the story. Even though it was a small moment, she was comforted by the fact that Sam had known her brother, even for a short amount of time. She shrugged off her denim jacket and stretched out her right arm towards Sam, showing her a delicately lined tattoo on the inside of her forearm, just before the crease of her elbow. "My brother and sister and I got this tattoo after he died. We always called him Jer Bear."

"Well, damn. I'm happy to have crossed his path even for a few days before." Sam reached for his beer as Avery leaned back on the couch.

"I think you guys would have gotten along well, Sam," Avery nodded, kicking a foot up on the table to mirror his pose.

Avery really liked Sam.

Sharon wasn't wrong when she said she had prepared a ton of food - the spread was impressive. Steve piled burgers and sausages onto platters while everyone filled their plates with roasted vegetables, potatoes, and salads. She returned to the couch with Sam, plates full, and both Bucky and Steve joined them there, too.

Bucky scanned his eyes over Avery before he sat. "Ave, can I get you a drink?"

Her eyes moved from her plate over to Bucky. She hadn't realized he had started to call her Ave sometimes, instead of Avery. She swallowed a smile and thought for a second. "It's okay, I can get up."

He waved his hand for her to remain seated. "What would you like?"

"Just water," she said with a smile, as he put his plate down and headed towards a stack of coolers on the other side of the roof.

Sam laughed as Bucky walked away. "What a nice boyfriend."

Avery rolled her eyes at Sam's commentary. Bucky was back a few minutes later, with a few drinks tucked under his arm. He handed a bottle of water to Avery and a can of Coke to Steve, before finally sitting down to enjoy his plate of food.

Avery smiled as she caught Steve nudging Bucky with his arm, as a thank you. What a nice boyfriend, indeed.

* * *

Bucky and Avery took the subway back to Brooklyn, after a very fun afternoon in the sun. Avery was sure her face was flush from a sunburn and laughing too hard at stories from Sam and Steve all day.

Their conversation all day had been light and casual. Neither Avery or Bucky wanted to mention anything even though there was still things left unsaid between them. He kept trying to start the conversation but it didn't seem right. Although, he knew that was what had gotten them into their mess in the first place.

When they got back to their apartment building, Bucky followed her into 509. He slid off his jacket and sat down on her couch as she busied around, putting away some things from her backpack and changing into some comfier clothes. She joined him on the couch a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a plain crew neck sweatshirt. She combed her fingers through her hair and leaned back on the couch, kicking her legs out to rest across his lap.

It was nice, as if this was a regular occurrence for them.

"Avery." Bucky shifted slightly to look over at her, resting his left hand on one of her calves while his right extended over the back of the couch. "What's going on here?"

She swallowed and narrowed her eyes for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"Saturday night you would barely even talk to me about, well, me. Until you sorta spilled everything out and now.. I can only guess all those feelings didn't just go away."

Her lips pulled into a straight line as he spoke. "You're not wrong. I'm still really confused about your past but I can't hold that against you." She paused and let out a sigh, pulling her legs off his lap. She shifted to sit on her knees beside him instead. "I think it'll take some more time for me to really understand. But..here's the thing. Despite all those confusing feelings, there's a bunch of other shit going on in here."

She reached out to grab his left hand and brought it to her chest, just over her heart. "All weekend I couldn't stop thinking about how unfair your life has been. And..I didn't talk to you for a few days and I think I really missed it. Talking to you. I missed you. And that feeling, all those warm, rich _feelings_ outweigh anything else."

Bucky could feel her heart beating under his metal palm. It was warm, certain.

"I'm still figuring out who I was, Avery. Who I am now. It's hard." He took a second to swallow the lump in his throat. "Steve always says it's better to talk about it. He always wants to talk. It's annoying but I guess it helps. So if you have any questions or anythin' - I want you to ask."

She nodded. "Okay, I do have one question right now."

"Go ahead."

"Why is it, when they taught you Russian, you managed to retain the word for ' _beautiful girl_ ' but in all those years, you didn't know the word _haircut_?"

Avery wasn't sure if they were at a point where she could be poking fun at what she knew about him now. Hell, maybe that would never be the case. When Bucky just narrowed his eyes at her, she wasn't sure how he would react and she immediately regretted trying to make a joke.

"What was so bad about the long hair?" He finally spit out, lips cracking into a smile as he rolled his eyes. " _Strizhka._ " He moved his hand from her chest and snaked it down, squeezing her hip playfully.

She laughed at his touch. "You won't understand this reference but the long hair..you looked like a teenage heart throb from the 90s." Her lips came together in a pause. "Sorry. I'm not trying to make light of..what you went through, making fun of your hair."

He shook his head to stop her. "S'okay, really. It's not always easy to..joke about it. But it helps, sometimes. Plus, a heart throb doesn't sound so bad." Bucky shifted and brought his left hand over to grab her otherside, gently pushing her back onto the couch. She giggled in protest as he ended up between her legs, resting his body overtop of hers. " _Krasotka._ How'd you figure that out?"

"The fruit man at the market told me," Avery replied with a coy smile, reaching her hands up to hold onto his arms as he caged her in.

Bucky leaned down, bringing his face just above hers, their lips _almost_ touching. "My _krasotka._ "

Avery's heart fluttered at the possessive language. She squeezed her eyes shut, to avoid looking into his. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Bucky was taken aback by her question. "Of course I do." He pulled himself off of her and kneeled between her legs instead, looking down at her. It pained him, a bit, that even all these years later, women still struggled like this. How could he not find her beautiful? Her smile, her laugh..her hips. He could spend all day watching her aimlessly. Just being with her was enough but getting to indulge, that was even better.

Avery propped herself up onto her elbows and opened her eyes again, locking with his. "You know, you're super hot for an old guy. You and Steve both." She paused to shake her head. "And you're charming and kind and, honestly, with that jawline, you could..have your pick of this city. Are you sure you want me?"

Bucky scrunched up his face, confused by her tirade. "Listen, doll. All I heard from that is you think me an' Steve are hot."

Avery let out a frustrated groan and laid back down, turning her face towards the back of her couch.

"Avery, I want _you_ to be my girl. No one else." He let his hands trace down the top of her thighs. "I mean, if that's what you want."

Avery turned her head and looked back at him again.

_My girl_.

She watched as he blushed, brushing his tongue across his bottom lip and looking down.

"Sam said we should, uh.." He paused and shook his head. Was Sam's advice really something he needed to be following right now? "He said something about..defining our relationship or.."

"Bucky Barnes, are you asking me to go steady?"

He let out a long breath and shrugged. "I guess I sorta am, yeah."

"And your boyfriend is okay with this?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "He's not my...you really thinkin' about Steve right now?" He moved back to a seated position on the couch, running a hand through his hair.

Avery wasn't ready to admit that dating Bucky while he was _dating_ Steve was strange. Even if that isn't what the boys considered their relationship, that's really what it was. Steve hadn't been anything but kind to her, and understanding, and even encouraging of her and Bucky. But she still feared resentment from him in the future. How was this going to work? She pushed the thoughts and doubts away and sat up beside him.

"All I'm thinking about is you." Her voice was quiet beside him. His eyes flicked over to her. Suddenly, he reached his hands over and gripped her hips again, starting to lift her to shift onto his lap. She straddled his waist, resting her hands flat on his chest. "I'd love to be your girlfriend, Bucky."

Avery wished she could have taken a photo of the smile that appeared on Bucky's face next. It was a combination of relief and joy. It made her insides warm up all at once. As if she was the one making him smile like that. She couldn't believe it.

The past few days had been a rollercoaster of emotions but there was one thing she now knew for sure. That in his arms, _in Bucky's arms_ , she felt safe. Like that was exactly where she needed to be.

Before he could get in a response to her, Avery was leaning in and pressing her lips against his. Bucky's arms wrapped around her back and pulled her in closer, savouring the taste of her on his mouth. Her hands crawled up from his chest, cradling his face on both sides as she kissed him again and again and again. She released him, for a moment, desperately needing a breath of air when suddenly one of his hands found the back of her head, tugging on her hair to better access her neck.

The whimper that escaped her mouth as he tugged on her hair was involuntary and caused her entire face to turn red. She could hear his laughter in her ear. His tongue and lips moved along her jaw, down her neck, leaving sloppy kisses against her skin. She whimpered again as he latched on, a gentle bite and hard suck along her left shoulder.

"Bucky," she breathed out his name, closing her eyes tight as she held onto his hair. It tangled through her fingers, soft. His left hand gripped around the small of her back while his right traveled above it, beneath her sweatshirt. He dragged his fingernails across her back, releasing the clasp of her bra. She repeated his name again.

"Tell me what you want, doll," he growled at her, pulling his lips away from her skin to move and nibble along her earlobe. "Whatever you want."

Her hips moved gently on top of his, alternating directions in a slow, rhythmic grind. "Tell me..tell me I'm your girl."

A moan mumbled from his lips after she spoke. Avery could feel a very real shift underneath her hips as Bucky pushed his waist towards her.

"Avery, baby, you're all mine." He moved his hands to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt and pulled it upwards, quickly, throwing it away across the room. She shook out her hair and peeled off her bra. His hands moved slowly across her back, bracing her safely as she leaned back just enough for Bucky to plant his lips on her bare chest. She positioned her hands on his knees and allowed one of his hands free.

Soon enough, he was grabbing at her breasts - one nipple found by his mouth and _teeth_. The other, rolling against his fingers. The feelings were intense - more than she anticipated. She dug her fingers into his knees and moaned. "Fuuuck."

"That's my girl," Bucky whispered, pulling away from her chest and allowing himself to gaze at her enjoyment. He moved his hands to her face and gently pulled her forward, pressing his lips against hers. "Bedroom?"

Avery smirked at him, moving her hands to lay against his chest again. "Not into the idea of couch sex?" She moved her hips against him again, causing him to lean back against the couch and close his eyes for a moment.

"What would Frank think?" Bucky replied, opening up one eye to look at her. "C'mon." She laughed at his comment about her most difficult _plant_ and climbed off his lap, extending her hand to him so he could stand up.

"There is no way Frank gives a shit," she said, walking backwards toward her room, guiding him by the belt loop at the front of his jeans. Bucky just smirked and reached to pull off his shirt, discarding it by her door.

Avery's legs hit the back of her bed as Bucky walked towards her, planting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down to kiss her, inhaling deep as his tongue fought with hers. She bit at her lip when he finally pulled away and gasped when he pushed her back down on the bed. His hands landed on her waist, tugging down her shorts.

"Avery, baby, I'm ravenous." Bucky threw her shorts to the side and kneeled at the side of the bed, wrapping his arms around her thighs to bring her up to the edge.

"Wait, wait, you're not going to.." Avery propped herself up onto her elbows as her face turned red. She tried to close her legs but Bucky stopped her, running his fingers across her hips gently.

Bucky glanced up at her and licked his lips. He was hard, _hard_ , pressing against his own jeans. "I wanna..taste you, doll. But, if you don't want me to I-

"You don't think it's gross?" Avery leaned back on the bed again, laying her forearm across her eyes. "The last guy I was with.." She was trying desperately hard not to say Seth's name out loud, especially when she was naked in front of Bucky. "Never would. Said most guys don't like it."

"That last guy you were with was a fuckin' moron," Bucky muttered out. The more he learned about the men in Avery's past, the angrier he got. It was evident to him she wasn't treated properly and he was determined to treat her _right_. "Listen, if you don't like it, I'll stop. But.." He trailed his right hand closer to her center, just barely touching against her skin. "I wanna make _my girl_ feel good."

Avery swore under her breath, doing her best to relax her hips in front of him. _My girl_. It was like a secret codeword to make her salivate and, well, _more._

Who was she to deny him something he so desperately wanted to do?

"Okay," she finally replied to him, nodding her head.

"Just say the word and I'll stop." Bucky looked up at her, meeting her eyes. He wanted her to know she was safe, that she didn't need to be nervous. It was just him. He started slow, just with his fingers grazing across her skin. He dipped them inside her, moving up and down, circling over her center. His left hand pressed against her stomach, holding her in place as her hips bucked slightly at his touch.

It was when his head started to move towards her that Avery tensed again. He was patient and steady, slowly pressing his index finger into her. This wasn't a new touch. "Just relax, doll." It was when his lips, his _tongue_ , landed on her, she finally dropped her hips into the feeling.

Avery's eyes opened with a gasp, pressing her body into the mattress and fighting against his arm on her hips. She was breathless as his mouth and hand moved together, applying a hard suction to her clit.

Bucky Barnes knew what he was doing, that was pretty damn clear.

Her first orgasm hit her quickly, she barely had time to announce it to him aside from gasping out his name as her hand reached to grab onto his hair. She didn't even have time to acknowledge his laughter, knowing he probably had that stupid fucking grin on his face, even now. So proud of himself. And she really couldn't blame him. She figured that was it, normally a one-and-done situation seemed fair. But Bucky didn't move, he just wrapped his arms around her hips tightly and _kept going_.

Avery couldn't believe what was happening between her legs. Didn't he need to come up for air? Could her stamina keep up with him if this was how things were going to be? Would she be able to speak when this was all over?

Her legs quivered through round two. He stopped then, leaning back onto his heels to watch her come undone. He gave her a few minutes to catch her breath, taking the time to shake off his jeans and boxers, running his damp hand along his shaft a few times as he watched her settle. He returned to his position then, pulling her shaking legs over his shoulders.

"Think you got one more in you, doll?"

Avery's eyes went wide again. She propped herself up and ran a hand through her hair, mouth dropping open. "I feel like we're about to find out, aren't we?" Bucky just smirked at her, nodding his head. "You're going to be the death of me, Bucky Barnes."

Avery collapsed back onto the bed as Bucky licked his lips, raising his eyebrows mischievously. "Not a bad way to go."

* * *

Friday afternoon, Avery was climbing out of Will's sports car again. She didn't work Fridays and that was still the case - but Will had asked a favour of her to visit a site with him, off the record and outside of work business. This time, they were visiting a project he had personally invested in. He requested her assistance and offered to pay her cash for her time.

If she thought about it too hard, the idea was a bit _questionable_.

Will paying her under the table to take notes and photos at a project site was strange. But she could use the cash and had recently learned of Will's struggles with dyslexia, so she obliged.

Will had picked her up in Brooklyn and they had travelled deep into Queens, finally stopping at an industrial park outside of Flushing. He had kept the details fairly vague - he was part of a team renovating an old warehouse, previously used as a shipping company storage facility. What Will was planning to do with it was left unsaid but he was meeting with a contractor and a few other investors to check on the progress.

They walked around the job site slowly. Will made no effort to introduce Avery to anyone nor did the men introduce themselves. It was as if she wasn't even there and she preferred it that way. She only recognized one of the men from that awards gala she had attended the week before, but couldn't put a name to his face. He had an especially smarmy vibe and she did not like his gaze.

The half dozen men were dressed in suits and hardhats, talking with each other like they were old friends. Clearly they all knew each other well.

"Where's your usual scribe?" The man she _almost_ recognized turned to Will and swatted him on the arm, nudging his head to Avery. "Least this one is cute, though."

Avery crossed her arms over her safety-vest covered chest, glancing towards Will. She didn't appreciate the unsolicited _compliment_ from this guy and if Will wasn't her boss now, she would have certainly snarked a response to the man.

"Keep it in your pants, Osborn," Will replied with a laugh. Avery rolled her eyes at their stupid chauvanistic commentary. "She's just an assistant I borrowed from the office. One time thing."

_Osborn…_

Avery remembered a Norman Osborn getting an award that night but this man was significantly younger. Maybe his son? She hardly remembered the rest of that gala, considering she was burying her nose into her Captain America research throughout the event.

She shook her head and kept a steady pace behind Will as they all moved inside.

Avery just treated the situation like a normal site visit - taking notes as Will made comments, keeping track of their visit with photos, and otherwise stayed quiet. It was when they got to the back end of the warehouse, things felt a bit off.

The entire building was old. The beams were being replaced, all the metal siding was destroyed, and the floor was being repaired by a few concrete machines that weekend. But, against the far wall, tucked just in the corner was a pristine, white elevator door. She glanced from the door back to the blueprints she was scratching notes onto using a tablet, then turned to Will.

"That's not on the site layout," she said to him quietly, pointing down at the screen.

"Pretend you didn't see that then," Will replied to her sharply, matter-of-fact. She tilted her head up towards him, a bit taken aback by his tone.

"I'm just taking notes, Will, and the layout of this clearly doesn't-

"Avery, I must have uploaded the wrong file. Just leave it alone." He was trying to be pleasant but Avery didn't like it. She wasn't getting a good feeling about any of this, anymore.

She just let out a breath and nodded her head. By the time they were back outside the warehouse Will and most of the men were heading towards a small work trailer set up near the far entrance of the lot. Avery stayed just behind Will as they headed over.

The younger guy, Osborn, put his hand up as she stopped beside Will. "No, no, investors only. Sorry sweetheart."

Avery rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Not your sweetheart."

Will turned and stood between them, waving off the men to head inside. "This won't take long. Do you mind just waiting in the car?"

Avery resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She didn't have much of a choice. Will handed her his keys and she headed off. At least the car had air conditioning.

She slunk down into the front seat and started to upload all the notes and photos onto Will's cloud account. While the tablet worked, she grabbed her own phone and checked her messages. She couldn't help but smile to see a few from Bucky.

Avery was trying really, really hard to pace herself with him. Not physically, really. But she didn't want him to consume all her time and thoughts constantly. It was the beauty of the _honeymoon_ phase. He slept over Monday, Bucky cooked her dinner Tuesday, they binged a TV show Wednesday night.

Ever since the _girlfriend_ talk, her thoughts were all Bucky, all the time. But, she knew there needed to be some space. There was this one particular thing that she kept coming back to. Bucky had Steve, too. She had no idea how this relationship thing was going to work. When she was dating Seth, she was still in school and they balanced her classes and his work schedule pretty terribly. When she finally moved in, things got a bit better but it had only been about the two of them.

Now, despite her desire to spend all her free time with Bucky, she had to be reasonable and realistic. What if she came on desperately strong? It's not that she was thinking through every single thing she said to him anymore, she was reigning in most of her anxiety about what their relationship was.

He had his own work schedule, that was often not very routine, and his own life, whatever that might look like. So Thursday, even though Bucky invited her to hang out with him and Steve - it was their usual bad reality TV night - she declined and went out for drinks with Heidi after work instead.

It was easy enough. One night away from him. _From her boyfriend._ She talked herself out of knocking on his door when she got home and conceded she could survive another night.

But now, she was desperate to get back home to get ready for her date night with Bucky.

Friday date night was back. With someone who actually seemed interested in hanging out with her.

Bucky: _i'm on my way back to Brooklyn  
_ Bucky: _what did you decide on for dinner?_

She didn't realize how long she had been in that warehouse with Will.

Bucky: _are you napping? Or not home?  
_ Bucky: _averrrrrryyyyy_

At least the gross, needy honeymoon phase seemed to be affecting both of them.

Avery: _hey! Currently out in Queens but I should be back soon?  
_ Avery: _or so I hope lol  
_ Bucky: _Queens?  
_ Avery: _just helping my boss with something today  
_ Avery: _didn't think it would take this long.  
_ Bucky: _aren't you usually off on Fridays?  
_ Avery: _yeah, this is just a one time thing.  
_ Avery: _i'll message you when I get home :)  
_ Bucky: _okay good. hurry. I'm home early and bored  
_ Avery: _it's food truck night at the market in park slope, how's that sound for dinner?  
_ Avery: _followed by me falling asleep while we watch a movie on your couch?  
_ Bucky: _at least let me pick the movie this time  
_ Avery: _oh my god, you could have turned that off when I fell asleep. Let it go.  
_ Bucky: _I'm glad the kids in detention all became friends  
_ Avery: _your pick then tonight, you big baby :)_

Avery smiled at the chain of messages, leaning back in the passenger seat. She really couldn't believe how her life had changed over the past six weeks. How one disaster in her kitchen turned into this fluttery feeling in her chest, leg-shaking good sex, comfort and affection and someone who actually seemed to care about her.

If she thought too hard about it, she might self-destruct.

So she just shook her head, and kicked her legs up onto Will's dashboard. She turned her head and looked back towards the work trailer and thankfully, saw the door open. Then, she saw Will exit. His stride was slow at first, then his pace picked up as he headed to the car. Avery pulled her legs down and whipped around to face the driver seat as Will got in.

"What's going on?" she asked quickly, straining to look back at the warehouse.

Will shook his head and started the car, throwing the car into drive and hurrying out of the parking lot. "Listen, Avery. Just forget about today, okay? I'm sorry for bringing you here. I'm getting out of this investment as quickly as I can and..I should not have brought you along."

Avery shook her head. "Uhm, okay. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me." Will shook his head again, taking a few deep breaths as he reached to undo his tie. "My dad just got me into this thing and..don't worry about me."

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat and tangled her hands in her lap. The rest of their drive went by very quietly. Avery had a lot of questions but wasn't sure she should ask any of them. In fact, she wasn't sure she should say anything else at all. She muttered a few of the final directions to him as they approached her building again.

Will pushed the car into park and leaned his head down on the steering wheel for a moment. He let out a long exhale then reached over to the glove box, pulling out an envelope. "Thanks for your assistance today, Avery. Sorry it was.. Well, terrible, overall. I really hope we can just pretend today never happened."

Avery just shook her head and shrugged. "It's okay. We can safely never mention it again." She waved her hands to protest him handing the envelope towards her. "That's really not necessary. Especially for something that never happened." She let out an awkward laugh and reached for the door handle.

"Avery, I really need your discretion here." Will pushed the envelope into her hands, then he turned back to look out his front windshield. "Enjoy your weekend."

Avery didn't say anything else. She just stuffed the envelope into her purse, not even bothering to look inside it, and opened the door, climbing out of his ridiculous car.

She let out a long breath and tried to push out everything that happened in the last hour. That didn't matter now. It couldn't.

She had date night to look forward to.

* * *

Bucky was not sure how he got talked into going to a karaoke bar on Saturday night. Yet, he was sitting on his couch with Steve, waiting for Avery to come upstairs so they could all head out together.

Karaoke had been Sam's suggestion, actually. Well, Sam was going with a few of his old school friends who were in town for the weekend. Bucky assumed the invitation Sam had texted was just an empty gesture, but when _both_ Steve and Avery were into the idea, he found himself suddenly roped into it, too.

Bucky sort of saw the appeal of karaoke. In fact, he heard Steve singing in the shower enough to know at least seeing him enjoy himself would be worth it. But he had a hard time getting on board with the idea of a crowded, busy Saturday night at any bar.

"I miss when a beer could give me at least a bit of a buzz," Bucky said, taking a sip out of the bottle in his hand. He sighed and placed it down on the table, leaning back onto the couch. He could hear Steve laughing at the other end. Bucky's eyes glanced over at him, watching as he rolled up the sleeves on his button up.

"I'm fairly certain Thor left a bottle of mead at the compound," Steve replied to him with a smirk.

"Too little too late this time," Bucky said with a laugh, leaning forward again. He checked his phone for the time, wondering what was taking Avery so long.

"What's going on, Buck?" Steve shifted in his position to look at Bucky. He was clearly anxious, which wasn't really out of character. But considering Bucky, Steve and Avery had just spent the day together - brunch followed by an impromptu visit to the Central Park Zoo - he still seemed off.

"I don't wanna.." Bucky trailed off, running a hand through his hair. He sighed, closing his eyes. This was something he didn't really know how to handle. Was it okay to talk to Steve about his girlfriend? He was sure it'd be fine. Steve hadn't hesitated once about Bucky and Avery being a couple now, but the whole thing was still _strange._ How was he supposed to approach these things?

"You can talk to me about her, you know," Steve answered, as if reading his train of thoughts. Half a smile grew on Bucky's face. He considered himself really good at reading people but Steve was better. Or, at least he was an expert at reading Bucky.

"I think," Bucky started to collect his thoughts, shifting over on the couch to face Steve. His left hand moved to the top of the couch, drawing his hand slowly against Steve's. "I think she lied to me about something yesterday. And I don't know if I should worry or let it go."

Steve moved his jaw back and forth for a quick second, catching his lip between his teeth. "Huh. What was the lie?"

"She came back from some work thing, really agitated. Took her a bit to calm down. She said she was fine, that nothing happened. But..I don't know. She was just off." He wasn't sure how else to describe it. He didn't know Avery _that well_ yet, but he was an expert at reading body language. She was tense, guarded, and especially quiet when she got back on Friday night. It didn't last long but it was evident enough that Bucky had been concerned.

"She seemed okay today," Steve countered, thinking back to the day they had spent together. Their day which had been..so nice. And surprisingly normal. All three of them even wound up laying out in the grass in the park after the zoo, Avery resting her head in Bucky's lap while Bucky leaned back against Steve. It felt..real. It was so _nice_.

"Yeah. She did." Bucky just let out a long breath.

"Do you think she's unsafe or hurt?" Steve prodded, exhaling as Bucky's hand stopped and rested on his forearm.

"I don't think so." He hadn't thought of that. He hoped she hadn't been in any sort of danger or unsafe situation. It wasn't uncommon for his mind or Steve's to go there. Considering the past they both had with especially unsavoury people, there was a certain amount of mistrust that came front of mind _all the time_.

"Maybe she was just having a bad day. I'd say this is a _let it go_ type of situation. At least for right now." Their conversation halted as a quick knock was heard at the door.

"Thanks Stevie, you're probably right." Bucky gave Steve's arm one last squeeze then stood up to open the door.

Avery came in with a smile and a can of hard seltzer in her hand. She was transformed from her outfit earlier, messy hair previously hidden in a bun was falling down her shoulders, straight. She smiled at both boys, accepting a kiss on the cheek from Bucky as she walked in.

"Is that what you're wearing?"

Avery's eyes shot towards Steve, raising an eyebrow at his question. "Why? Do you have fashion advice to give, Steven?"

"Full name. Ouch." Steve laughed and raised his hands in defeat.

"He's got a thing about animal print," Bucky said to her with a smirk, letting his eyes trail over her outfit. She was just in a pair of black laced boots, paired with dark ripped jeans and her caramel coloured leather jacket. Underneath that, though, was a tight leopard print tank top, tucked into her jeans. Frankly, Bucky thought she looked great. The jeans were tight, the top revealed just enough cleavage for him to wonder about. And he was a sucker for a brown leather jacket.

"I don't have a _thing_ ," Steve protested, standing up from the couch. "I just don't really get it."

"I think the term you used last time was tacky?" Bucky continued to jab at Steve, as he grew flustered.

Avery crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Steve. "You think this is tacky?"

"I didn't say that!" Steve threw his arms up, running a hand through his hair. "I think you look great, Avery."

She turned directly to Bucky, a coy smile on her face. "Captain America is a bad liar."

"My opinion on what you wear should not matter," Steve continued to defend himself, rolling his eyes at Bucky's laughter. Bucky pulled on his black leather jacket over his plain t-shirt and jean combo, motioning to Avery to finish her drink so they could get going. "All I'm saying is you didn't hunt the animal, so why wear the print?"

Avery opened her mouth to snark back at him, but paused to tilt her head. "You know, that's a fair point." She cocked one of her eyebrows up and stopped in front of Steve, pressing her finger against his chest. "But if that's your argument, should we do a deep dive into why you wear these plaid shirts all the time when you are definitely not a lumberjack?"

Bucky laughed again and opened his door. "C'mon. I have a feeling the two of you could just go on about this all night. May as well do it while we walk."

* * *

Avery was not surprised when Bucky hid out in their booth at the karaoke bar all night. It was big with plush padding and a great view of the performance stage across the room. She could tell he was a bit anxious the whole night, tapping his leg under the table constantly and drawing circles against his beer glass. He nursed the same one all night, keeping his hands busy at least. She stayed by his side when she wasn't up singing and a weird sense of pride washed over her when his knee tapping settled at her touch.

Avery _was_ surprised when Steve joined her on the stage for a duet. He admitted to her he had a pretty limited knowledge of what made a good karaoke song to sing with someone else, but mentioned Sam had provided him with a huge playlist of songs over the years and a few stood out to him.

If Avery could go back in time two months and tell herself that one day in the future she would be singing _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ with Captain fucking America, she would have probably fainted. Yet, as she stood at the front with a mic in hand and Steve to her left, trading verses through their laughter, she felt an immeasurable amount of warmth in her chest. Maybe it was the seltzer. Or maybe it was the comfort of Steve's genuine smile. It was truly a side of him she didn't think she'd ever see but she was happy to be a part of it.

Warmth.

She partnered with Sam on _Summer Nights_ from Grease, too. Which she voted was a terrible karaoke choice but when Sam insisted, then actually _nailed_ the high octave at the end, Avery nearly doubled over with laughter.

There were even a few instances where she got to see Bucky laugh, _really laugh_ , as some of Sam's friends filled him in on some old funny stories.

Not a bad way to spend their Saturday night.

By the time they were walking back home, Avery was pleasantly drunk on both the contentment in her soul and the whiskey in her veins. She paced herself and didn't get to _throwing up_ intoxicated but she was feeling tingly and smiley. Somehow, in their banter on the walk home, Avery ended up getting a piggyback from Steve.

"It's probably better you're on my back so I don't have to look at that stupid leopard print shirt anymore." Steve was intentionally pushing her buttons, earning a hard look from Bucky. It quickly fell into a smile as Avery groaned behind him.

"So mean," she replied, holding onto her wrists in front of Steve as they carried along. "But I won't sass you back since you're graciously being my sherpa right now."

"Won't sass back, what a miracle." Bucky turned his head to smirk at her, too.

She stuck her tongue out playfully. "You're both mean."

Bucky looked at the two of them, his Steve and his girl, laughing together as they headed home. It was one of the most heartwarming sights he had ever seen. He still had so many doubts and worries about what was happening with him and Avery, and what that meant for him and Steve, too. But if he could have the opportunity to suspend time during that walk home together, he would have taken it without question.

"Please tell me we're going to stop for satays," Avery called out suddenly, pointing her hand down the street to a thai food truck bustling with people.

"It'll help you soak up all that alcohol. Might be a good idea, actually." Steve nodded, turning his head towards Bucky. "What do you say, Buck?"

"Anything to ensure Avery doesn't throw up in front of me, _again._ "

She tossed her head back and laughed, narrowing her eyes at Bucky. "Oh my god, you are the worst."

Bucky watched as the two of them continued ahead of him, Avery sliding down off of Steve's back and giving him a friendly push in the arm, laughing about something he had said. She turned her head to look over her shoulder at Bucky, reaching out for his hand.

Bucky smiled and grabbed onto it, taking his place on the sidewalk between her and Steve.

What could be better than seeing the guy he loved getting along with the girl he was falling for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we made it, ya'll. a relationship. well, two outtta three ain't bad. I don't think this is going to be easy by any means but seems we're on the right track. thank you to everyone who has read, subscribed, kudos'd and commented. I see you and I appreciate all of you. love love love.
> 
> your comments mean so much to me! I love to hear your thoughts and how you think things are going. :)
> 
> storynotes: listen, my take here is we know Bucky was portrayed as quite the ladie's man when we meet him before the war. but do we think he knows how to have a girlfriend? we shall see! it's a learning experience for everyone. and let's just say, a weekend trip to the lakehouse for the fourth of july weekend is going to bring up a lot of feelings for everyone. and listen, working at a construction company sounds easy. it's the under the table things with questionable legality and moral standards that may start to be a concern.
> 
> next up: Bucky leaves for a mission but has to go dark. steve helps avery in an unexpected situation and well, there will be some emotions. and some laughs. but feelings? stay tuned.


	12. Shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: not-so-descriptive sex, mental health, anxiety, panic attacks.

Avery had to clarify more than once what Bucky meant when he said he was going dark for his mission. She had been so swept up in him, _in them_ , that she didn't think about the gravity of who he was and his job. He was an Avenger, whatever that looked like now. His 'work trips' were usually very secretive and presumably fraught with risk, though she tried not to keep that in the front of her mind.

Early Sunday evening, she was sitting on his bed while he packed up a duffle bag with his essential items. Their entire conversation felt stilted.

"So, you'll be completely off the grid."

Bucky's eyes flicked over to her as he grabbed a few items from his closet. He swapped his sweatpants for a pair of dark jeans but remained bare chested while he packed. "It's not always the case but for this mission, yeah." He let out a slow exhale. "I'm sorry Ave, we should have talked about this sorta thing before."

Avery shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine. I know this is your job. How long will you be gone?"

"We leave tomorrow morning," Bucky closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recall what Steve had been going on about Friday afternoon. "Should be back Saturday."

She nodded this time, aimlessly tracing her fingers across her crossed knees. Her hands ended up tangled in her lap. They had spent most of the day in his apartment, first enjoying mugs of coffee on his balcony. Then, he forced her through a boxing session which unsurprisingly led to playful wrestling then sex then a shower then a nap. Now, she was restlessly watching him putter around his room, draped in just his bedsheets and her underwear. "This mission..it's dangerous?" Bucky was facing his closet but Avery could see his shoulders tense after she asked.

Bucky didn't want to lie to her.

"I can't talk about the details, doll."

"That's a clever way of answering by averting the question."

"Avery." Bucky turned around and walked back towards his bed, planting himself in front of her. He scanned her face - she was curious but worried. He hated to see her worried. "O'course it's dangerous. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. But we are well prepared in case something happens."

"Can you at least tell me who you're going with?"

He crossed his arms. "It's just me, Sam an' Wanda."

"But what if something happens? How does that work if you're all _disconnected_ or whatever."

His face drew sober again, pursing his lips into a hard line. "We have an emergency communication system. If we use it, that means something really.." He stopped himself, shaking his head. "It's monitored the whole time we're gone but we've never had to use it before on a mission like this."

He was telling the truth, mostly.

Bucky, Sam and Wanda had done nearly this exact mission before. It was a five day rescue operation in Sokovia - where a once desperate government had given up after the second blip over a year ago. The United Nations had a permanent camp in the destroyed country, which had still been recovering from the incident that sparked the Accords all those years ago. Losing half their population hadn't been a blessing, per se, but it helped them _manage_ over the five years. Gaining that mass amount of people back undid everything. There was a housing crisis, a severe lack of food resources and not enough medical personnel to help the country rebuild.

There was civil unrest, domestic terrorism and rioting across the nation. Every few months the UN called on the Avengers for an assist. This week it was a rebel encampment in the North, where civilians were sequestered without release and militant vigilantes were trying to create peace. It was a country divided and the entire situation was delicate. The citizens of Sokovia lacked trust in most of the world and accepted help cautiously. It took a toll on Wanda especially, so Steve had been strategizing for a few weeks on the best execution of their appearance and forced assistance from the UN.

Bucky knew they weren't expecting a welcoming committee, that was for certain.

Avery nodded once more, biting at her lower lip.

"Don't worry about me, doll," Bucky said quietly, extending his hand out and lifting her chin up to look at him. "I might come back with a few cuts and bruises but I'll heal up so quick, you'd hardly even notice."

She smiled back at him, leaning into his palm as it moved to graze her cheek. "I'll try not to worry." She closed her eyes, as if she didn't want to say the next thing out loud. "I'll miss you."

Avery didn't _need_ him to say it back to her, that he would miss her too. But, her heart sank when his response to her was a kiss on her forehead instead of something audible. He likely wouldn't even have time to miss her but the sting was still felt.

He continued on, crouching down on the floor beside the bed to ensure he had everything he needed in his bag. His phone buzzed a few times on the top of his dresser and he stood to grab it, scanning his eyes over the screen.

Bucky let out a quiet sigh and tucked his phone into his pocket. "Steve'll be here in about half an hour to grab me."

The feeling that shot through Avery after his sentence was not what she expected. Bucky had explained to her he was leaving for the compound outside of the city that evening because they needed to prep for their travel and leave early in the morning. She guessed maybe Sam would be picking him up or he'd be driving himself. But hearing that Steve was the one coming to take him out there left her feeling a pang of envy.

And she hated herself for it.

Steve was still Captain America, afterall. He was the leader and strategist for their team so it made sense why he would be there the night before they left for whatever this mission was. But that didn't stop Avery's brain from reeling. She wanted Bucky's time and attention. Even though they had just spent basically the entire day together - hell, they had barely spent anytime apart since Friday night - she hated that Steve was getting time with him the night before he left for a week.

They'd drive out to the compound, get everything ready to go. Then what? Watch a movie together in the recreation room? Cuddle in bed until Bucky had to gear up and head out with the team? That wasn't fair. Her unhappy feelings to Steve were unjustified. But how was she supposed to reign herself in when -

"Avery?"

She blinked a few times and noticed Bucky had taken a seat on the bed in front of her. She hadn't heard him repeating her name as she was lost in her spiral of anxious thoughts. "Hmm?"

"You okay?"

Avery's eyes met his, full of concern. The last thing she wanted right now was to make him worry _about her_. She didn't know enough about him just yet - how he prepared for these missions mentally but considering the way she saw her brother check in and out before leaving for active duty or a training retreat, she knew mindset was really important. She was being selfish with her thoughts and she did not want to burden him with them.

"Yes, I'm okay," she finally replied, reaching out to grab his shoulders and pull him in towards her. She wasn't sure if she was being convincing enough but if she wasn't, Bucky didn't press. Maybe for his own sake, maybe for hers. Either way, instead of talking about it, they both had the same idea.

Avery gripped his shoulders and pressed her lips against his, rising up to sit on her knees as their lips locked. It was easy to push back her worries and insecurities and doubts when Bucky's tongue was wrestling hers, when his hands were quickly finding the back of her bra, when his teeth were clamping down on her bottom lip.

"How long until Steve gets here?" She mumbled out as Bucky pushed her back onto the bed. Part of Avery was telling her to cease, that maybe the two of them should just talk instead. But suddenly the reminder that a week without communication with Bucky also meant a week of no Bucky _physically_ \- it was too easy to give in. She wanted to feel his skin on hers again, just for a few more minutes. She needed it, as if the feeling of him being close to her was slipping away.

She needed _him_.

"Twenty minutes?" Bucky pulled back her bra, tossing it to the side as his lips trailed down her neck, hands roaming across her chest. He sucked hard at the base of her neck near her shoulders, causing a loud whimper to leave her lips.

She tried to focus on controlling her breathing as she moved her hands across his sides, hooking onto the waistband of his jeans and shuffling them down.

Had they really no self-control? It was only hours ago they were in this exact same position.

Well, nearly. Avery had been on top earlier. And on her side. And pressed against his dresser.

Bucky's stamina was astounding.

"Plenty of time," Bucky breathed out, taking in a sharp breath as her hands grabbed onto his length, hard between his legs..

"Well, let's make it count, handsome." What transpired next was quick and intense. They hardly exchanged any words, aside from a series of expletives that escaped Avery when Bucky angled himself slightly and made her legs shake. It felt like they were both chasing something that left an impact - Bucky's hands were like a death grip on her breasts, her hips, even testing the waters at applying pressure to her neck as she came.

It was definitely a memorable parting gift for them both.

Approximately 23 minutes later, Bucky's phone was buzzing on the dresser again. Avery was clutching his chest as they caught their breath after finishing, Bucky's hands lazily trailing up and down her exposed back. She let out a pathetic whine as the phone stopped for a moment, only to start once more.

"Walk me out?" Bucky gave her one last squeeze and laid a kiss on her head as he moved to the side, climbing off the bed and grabbing his clothes. He let out a sigh and quickly typed a message to Steve, who was waiting outside. Avery reluctantly got redressed, pulling her jeans on and clasping her bra. She paused before putting on her shirt, reaching for one Bucky had discarded earlier bunched up at the end of his bed.

"Can I borrow this?" She pulled the t-shirt over her head. It was just a plain shirt, soft grey with a pocket on the left of the chest. But it smelled like him - his sandalwood body wash, whatever his preferred Old Spice scent was, it was him.

Bucky turned to look at her as he headed out the bedroom door, a smirk growing across his face. "Looks better on you anyway, doll."

She twisted her own shirt in her hands as they headed down the stairwell quietly.

Steve was waiting in the Jeep in the back parking lot, windows down. He was staring drumming his hands over the steering wheel in tune to whatever was on the radio, aviators on. Bucky opened the back door and tossed his bag in then paused, turning to Avery.

"Hey Steve," she said with a smile, tilting her head to look across the Jeep. He gave her a wave then pulled off his sunglasses, peering over at her.

"You've got something on your, uh.." Steve trailed off, bringing his hand up to his own neck. Avery did the same then immediately blushed as Bucky laughed.

"Sorry about that," Bucky said sheepishly, running his fingers over the new bruising hickey on her neck. "I went a little hard.."

"Wow," Steve jumped back in, shaking his head and putting his glasses back on. "Forget I said anything."

Avery just shook her head, burying her head into Bucky's shoulder as he pulled her into a hug.

"Good luck," she said quietly as they broke apart. "Is that the right thing to say? Just be safe, okay?"

Bucky pressed a kiss onto her lips then another to her forehead. "I'll be safe as can be. I promise." He left one more lingering kiss on her lips then climbed into the passenger seat.

"If you need anything this week, just call Stevie, okay?" Bucky glanced towards Avery then to Steve, who just nodded.

She smiled at the gesture, though it felt a bit empty. Steve didn't owe her anything in this weird relationship but she knew it was all Bucky could say to ensure she was looked after while he was gone. Despite the infancy of their relationship, she knew Bucky was concerned about her wellbeing. It was kind but she didn't know how to handle it without being reactive.

She could take care of herself just fine.

Steve pointed towards himself and looked over at her with a small smile. "I'm just a phone call away, Avery."

* * *

Something had recently shifted in Steve and despite his best intentions, he was struggling. He had noticed the positive changes in Bucky ever since Avery had come into their lives and Steve was so happy for him. He was proud of Bucky for facing his feelings and going for it. But there was something else happening and he was really trying to figure it out.

Avery was great. Steve really liked her, not just for Bucky but as a person. She was kind but tough, independent but caring, friendly and feisty. She held her own with him and Bucky, and more than anything, she was easy to be around. And she was cute as hell, even in tacky animal print.

Their entire situation was kind of awkward and none of them wanted to mention it. It was working well enough for the time being but Steve had a feeling things were going to come to a head soon.

The biggest problem he was facing was something he couldn't even bear to admit to himself. When Avery showed up at the Memorial Day service and bounded up to say hello to him afterwards, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her in for a hug. It had been warm and comforting for Steve. That was the first sign.

Then Saturday, when she joined him and Bucky for brunch again, her eyes had lit up at his sarcastic suggestion of visiting the Central Park Zoo. That was the second sign - he lost himself for a moment as she rambled on and on about sea lions and some field trips when she was a kid. His chest tightened at her excited smile.

Things really escalated for him that evening, when she was standing opposite him holding her karaoke mic. She had let him pick the song and was bouncing up and down excitedly. She had shrugged off her jacket, giving him a playful punch in the arm before he could get in a jab about her patterned shirt. His eyes swept across her shoulders, decorated in freckles and red skin from their day in the sun. He felt an urge to touch her, feel his skin across hers, hold her in his arms. Her leaping on his back, giggling in his ear, during their walk back to the apartment building that night didn't help either.

Steve had decided he needed to make a conscious effort to sort out whatever was going on in his head. And he was almost grateful that Bucky was going to be gone for the week, just to give himself some space from Avery.

Not that he felt any sense of ease or comfort knowing the team was going to be off the grid in Sokovia. That actually worried Steve a lot. But at least without Bucky and Avery around, he could focus on that mission and really hone in on his other outstanding research projects.

For a few days, everything was pretty easy. He worked with Sharon on some research, had lunch with Bruce downtown, checked in with Carol Danvers and Scott Lang. He watched the news closely to see if anything new or _good_ was happening in Sokovia.

Easy.

It was Wednesday night when things shifted again. Steve was just getting home, exhausted after a long workout at the compound. He was looking forward to a long, hot shower and one of his pre-packaged meals from the fridge. Just as he was about to tear away his clothes, his phone started to ring. Curiosity struck him when it was Avery's name flashing on the screen.

"Avery, hey," he said casually as he brought the phone up to his ear. "How are y-

"Steve." She cut him off quickly. She sounded breathless. "Something just.. Someone broke into my apartment and..I don't know if I should call the police or..

"Hey, slow down," Steve replied in a calm, level tone. It was clear she was in distress. "Tell me what happened."

"I just got home from work and I saw that..my door was cracked open. When I pushed it I saw someone inside and they ran at me when they noticed me, pushed me.."

"Are you hurt?"

"Just.. knocked the wind out of me. But I'm okay, I think. They ran down the hall but I don't know if I should call the cops or go inside or.."

"Where are you now?" Steve tucked his phone under his ear and headed back towards his door, pulling on his leather jacket and grabbing his keys.

"At Bea's. I'm supposed to feed Wallace tonight for her and.."

"I'm on my way. Just stay inside her apartment and don't open the door again until I get there. Do you understand?"

He heard her sigh. "Yes. I'll wait." There was a pause. "Thanks Steve."

* * *

Sunday night was easy. Avery just climbed back upstairs to her apartment, threw on a movie and snacked on whatever she could find in her fridge. She wrapped her arms around herself and breathed in Bucky's scent as she fell asleep.

Monday wasn't too hard either. The day was perfectly normal - aside from all her scheduled visits with Will being cancelled. It was a boring desk day that was long and full of data entry. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Avery to go the whole day without talking to Bucky even when he was working in the city. When she got back to her apartment, Bea grabbed her from the hallway and forced Avery to have dinner with her. Though it was really just an opportunity for Bea to ask Avery to look after Wallace at the end of the week while she took a trip to Atlantic city.

After dinner, they played cards and chatted and by the time Avery got back to her apartment, she was ready to pass out. Another day done.

Tuesday, the lack of Bucky hit her a bit more. She wanted to text him about some silly thing on her commute to work and had to remind herself that even if she sent the message, he wouldn't get it until the end of the week. When she got home from work, she focused on trying to tidy her messy home. She was quickly distracted by plant care then got caught up in a phone call with Lora about the wedding.

Wednesday, Avery was really feeling lonely. Perhaps it was the wedding talk the night before that really sent her into a sad spiral but on top of that, Heidi had called in sick and Avery nearly went the entire day without speaking to another person. Usually she didn't mind that but it could really be draining to suddenly feel so empty.

She wound up working later than she intended but she was really avoiding going home. The only reason she eventually shut down her computer was because she knew she had to feed Wallace and it definitely wasn't fair to keep him waiting any longer for his dinner. Avery snagged a seat on the subway and buried herself in her sweater on the journey home. Regrettably, she didn't even think about what she might eat for dinner herself and sighed when she remembered she had hardly even eaten lunch that day. She had vague memories of an everything bagel…

Climbing up the stairwell to the fifth floor felt like scaling a mountain but instead of feeling relieved at the summit, Avery felt a weird discomfort. The minute she opened the door to the fifth floor hallway, she could tell something was wrong. She moved down the hall quietly, reaching to grab her phone and keep it at the ready. When she approached her apartment, she noticed that the door was already slightly open. Her eyes darted to the door handle which was completely broken off.

She prayed that whomever did that to her door was no longer inside her apartment. In retrospect, she should have just turned around and left the building, maybe called the police or _someone_. But in that moment, instead, she took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. She peered inside then felt her stomach drop when she heard someone shuffling around. A loud crash sounded somewhere - maybe her bedroom? - as she pushed the door all the way open.

"Whoever you are.." Her voice came out at a normal pace. "The police are on their way.."

Lying may not have been a good plan. But she already regretted stepping inside so she was trying to think on her feet.

Suddenly, the person scavenging through her bedroom bounded out and paused in front of her. They were wearing all black, including some sort of mask hiding their face. She tried to take a mental picture of them but there wasn't much to see that seemed like a defining feature. The man, she assumed, appeared to be sizing her up and contemplating his next move. There was nothing in his hands and Avery couldn't see any bag on him. Why the hell was this person breaking into her apartment anyway? It seemed sloppy and more than anything now, seeing them just waiting in front of her, she was _pissed._

Before she could say anything else, they were bounding towards her. Her anger switched to fear quickly. Were they going to attack her? She let out a loud shriek and tried to move out of the door way, but the man in all black barrelled into her _hard,_ sending her flying back across the hall. Avery slammed against the opposite wall in the hallway and slumped down against it, trying to shrink into herself. She closed her eyes and just heard feet running down the hallway then into the stairwell.

Avery took a few deep breaths and more than anything wished Bucky was upstairs. She could only imagine how grumbly and irritated he would be that she even _stepped foot_ into her apartment when someone had just broken in. But as she sat slumped on the floor, fighting back tears, she just really needed someone. She needed her boyfriend.

Swallowing hard, she considered her next moves. She should call the police, right? They weren't strangers to the building by any means. A failed attempt at pulling herself off the ground left her feeling even more defeated and the idea of whining to a police officer about what had happened was making her anxiety worse and worse.

She grabbed her phone and scrolled through the contacts. Despite her overwhelming feelings of being an inconvenience, she knew who to call. It's what Bucky would want her to do.

She called Steve.

She pulled herself up as the phone rang and hurried into Bea's apartment. Avery was grateful when he answered quickly. Even just hearing his voice put her at ease. She managed to choke out what she needed to from her side of the conversation.

" _I'm on my way. Just stay inside her apartment and don't open the door again until I get there. Do you understand?"_

While she found his words a bit condescending, she heard him shift into Captain America in that moment. His voice was headstrong and sure. She sighed and thanked him before they hung up.

Wallace paced around her feet as she walked through the apartment, refilling his ridiculous drinking fountain and bowl of kibble. She also peaked into Bea's fridge and sliced a sliver of cheese off a wedge of cheddar for him, too. She crouched down and pet his ears after he nibbled on the cheese, happily rubbing his face against her knuckles.

"I'm sure your mama misses you, Wallace, but she'll be back in a few days," Avery cooed at the animal, standing up again and glancing around the apartment.

Her mind started to race as she waited for Steve. She couldn't help but wonder why someone had broken into _her_ apartment. Was it just a random hit? Would they have broken into Bea's next? Did they know she wasn't home? What if she _had_ been home already and they broke in? Would her self-defense have come in handy or maybe the baseball bat she had tucked away in her bedroom…

She shook her head aggressively, trying to get all of those thoughts out of her brain.

It wasn't long before she heard footsteps in the hallway again. She paced around the door and listened as they stopped nearby. She heard her own door push open again and the footsteps disappeared inside. Soon enough, they returned and she heard a knock.

"Avery?"

She hurried to crack open Bea's door and let out a grateful sigh when she saw Steve standing there. As she stepped into the hall, she noticed he took half a step back from her, keeping his arms at his side. "Thank you for coming so quickly. I'm sorry to interrupt your evening but I just..I don't know what to do."

Steve just waved his hand to dismiss her apology. "You interrupted a whole lot of nothing, it's okay. I did a quick sweep of the apartment - there's no one else in there. Are you okay to go in and take a look?"

She nodded her head and followed him inside.

Her entire apartment was in disarray. Kitchen cupboards opened, stacks of paper that once lived on her kitchen table scattered over the floor, couch pillows thrown around the room. It was unsettling but what bothered Avery the most as she looked around was a few of her plants had been knocked over.

"Fucker," she hissed out as she hurried to the end of her living room area, dropping her purse and trying to clean up the mess.

Steve watched her from where he stood in the kitchen. He felt terrible for her - this whole thing was a huge safety concern and invasion of her privacy and he immediately felt compelled to comfort her, wrap her in his arms, kiss the top of her head. But he just couldn't do anything like that. He bit his lip and let out a sigh. He took a few steps around, looking to see if there was anything broken or out of sorts.

"Does it look like anything is missing?" Steve looked towards Avery as he asked the question but she didn't even acknowledge him. He could hear her muttering to herself as she tried to rearrange her plants, sweeping up the discarded dirt off the floor back into their bases. "Avery?" He walked towards where she was sitting on her knees and stopped behind her. A sharp exhale left his mouth. "Do you have to do that right now?"

Avery's shoulders tensed as he approached and she bit her tongue hard when he commented on what she was doing. She knew she should be grateful he was there helping her through whatever this mess was, but she didn't appreciate his tone. She stood up and brushed past him, trying to take a brief inventory of the room.

"I don't think anything is missing," she said quietly as she moved towards her bedroom. She let out another swear when she saw her tiny cactus, the apology plant from Bucky, smashed on the floor beside her window. That one hurt. She just sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at it.

She wished she could just sink into her floor and cry.

"I called a friend of mine who works at the 94th precinct," Steve said from the doorway. "He's on his way, he'll do a police report about the break in." Avery just nodded, still staring away from Steve. "Pack a bag while you're in here."

Her head shot around quickly to stare at him, wiping away a stray tear on her cheek. "Why?"

"You're not staying here," Steve replied to her, shaking his head as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then where am I staying?" Avery pursed her lips together. "If you're that concerned, I can just crash at Bea's, her couch is comfortable enough."

"Avery, Bucky would have my head if he knew I let you stay in this building tonight. Frankly, I don't think you should be living here at all but at least when he's upstairs there is some peace of mind." Steve held up his hand to stop her before she could reply. "I'm sorry but we're not arguing about this. You can sleep at my place."

Avery was torn. His authoritative tone was actually comforting and admittedly, pretty attractive. But she didn't appreciate being told what to do.

Steve left her in her bedroom and continued his way around the apartment. It was near the bathroom door that he noticed a small white business card on the floor. He reached down and grabbed it, flipping it over in his hands. On one side, in pale grey lettering was the word S.H.O.T and on the other a messily scrawled address. The address of Avery and Bucky's apartment building. Specifically it said 509 and Avery's name. The tightness in his chest returned as he tucked the card into his jacket pocket.

That was definitely concerning. He could only assume it wasn't left on purpose, perhaps dropped accidentally while the person ravaged through Avery's apartment.

Avery packed a bag and waited in her bedroom, trying to clean up the mess that had been left.

Truly, there was nothing missing. What seemed odd to her, too, was that she had an envelope full of cash on her bedside table that was untouched. It was the money from Will he had insisted she take last Friday. She had nearly thrown up when she opened the envelope to find a stack of $20 bills. Her intention was to give it back to him, actually.

But what kind of person breaks into an apartment to take nothin - even the stupid envelope of money the stupid homeowner left out?

When Steve's police officer friend showed up, she posed that exact question to him. She explained the entire situation to the officer again while Steve stood to the side and listened with his arms crossed. Afterwards, he rattled off some crime stats about the neighbourhood and suggested she not stay home until her door was fixed.

She nodded as the officer spoke, and thanked him for coming by. "I just..why would someone break into my apartment and not take anything? There was literally $500 stuffed in an envelope on display in my bedroom and they didn't even take that?"

She noticed Steve's eyes narrow at her question but he managed to keep his commentary to himself.

The officer let out a long exhale and glanced towards Steve, then back to Avery. "I'm not sure. Maybe they were just looking for something specific, maybe they changed their mind, got cold feet, when you showed up. It's hard to know. I don't want to alarm either of you but it also might have been some sort of tactic, to ruffle your feathers."

Avery's eyes grew wide and her stomach seemed to drop. "What? Like someone broke in on purpose?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, really. Without a physical description or anything to trace back to you here, we may never know. We'll be in touch if we need any other information, Miss Felix."

Avery thought she might feel better when she left her apartment behind, climbing down the stairwell behind Steve. But everything that had just happened made her feel a lot worse and somehow, even lonelier than before.

* * *

Before they got Steve's apartment in Greenwich, he dragged her to a hole-in-the-wall Chinese food place. Avery insisted she wasn't hungry but Steve persisted, safely assuming she hadn't eaten dinner yet. She told him she was going to be terrible company, considering how much of a mess her mind was.

Steve didn't seem to care, rambling on about his favourite options on the menu as they tucked into a small booth together. Avery went with some peanut noodle dish he recommended and leaned onto the table, propping her head up on her hand.

They sat in silence for a few minutes after they ordered. Steve checked his phone. Avery stared down at the paper placemat in front of her.

Eventually, she looked up and caught Steve watching her. "How come you live in the village? I swear every biography about you leans into the Brooklyn thing."

Steve let out a quiet laugh and his face pulled into a half smirk. "That's a fair question. In the five year gap, I wound up regularly attending then leading a weekly counselling group. Grief management, that sort of thing. No one was prepared to handle that amount of loss and…" He paused, letting out a long breath. "I liked being close by. We had a little crisis center up the street from here."

Avery nodded, taking in his words.

"I'll get back to Brooklyn one day," Steve continued. "Helps that Bucky is down there. I wanna get us a townhouse eventually. That's the dream."

Steve felt a bit unsure using the phrase _us._ It was something he and Bucky always talked about, reclaiming an old Brooklyn relic as their own. Dreams change, of course. But that was one that Steve was always fond of.

"Does it get easier?" Avery asked quietly. Her heart pulled at his mention of Bucky and their plans together. "Knowing he's unreachable...somewhere? Facing something dangerous?"

Steve reached his hand out towards hers then stopped, tracing along the napkin under his glass of water instead. He sighed and raised his eyebrows, as if contemplating the question.

"Not really. Especially considering I used to do what they're doing, it can be tough to stomach. During these types of missions where we don't get regular updates, I try to stay very distracted. I do everything in my power to exhaust my body and mind and sleep but it doesn't always work."

Steve constantly thought about how he could lose Bucky again. There was a time when a tribunal was going to put Bucky into a federal penitentiary for the rest of his days and it was Steve's testimony and Bucky's promise to help the greater good that saved him. Yet, Steve often felt guilty that this was the life Bucky ended up with. He spent so many years in the heat of dangerous, evil things that all Steve wanted to do was give him a safe home and a safe future.

They'd get there, eventually. Bucky felt he had a debt to pay and considering his abilities, he owed it to God or _whatever_ to make things right. To balance the scales. That was his own theory, at least.

Steve carried on. "I have a lot of trust in the team. In Bucky. That they'll make the right decisions. It's worked out so far. But trust doesn't make time move any quicker."

Avery just nodded then swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't sure what she wanted to hear from Steve - maybe a bit of positivity or peace of mind. But she supposed that wasn't what she signed up for. Steve was her friend, she guessed. Or, well, he was Bucky's friend and hers by proxy. Although she felt they had been getting along really well so far, maybe she had misread it.

They ate in silence.

* * *

Things felt weird when Avery woke up at Steve's Thursday morning. When they finally made it to his place after dinner the night before, Avery was exhausted. Steve had insisted she sleep in his bed and he'd crash on the couch. Though tired, she had enough energy to argue with him about it.

Even though he had a generous sized leather sectional in his living room area, complete with an extended chaise built in at the far end near the exposed brick wall, she knew he would fare better sleeping in his bed than on the couch. It was like arguing with that brick wall though, he wouldn't listen to her. To make a point, she changed into a pair of leggings and a shirt to sleep in (Bucky's t-shirt, still) then crashed on the couch while he was in the shower.

She could have sworn she heard him grumbling through her sleep state when he crossed towards his bedroom. But, he did adjust the blanket draped over her as she dozed off. That was nice.

He was awake before her that morning. She was barely stirring from her terrible sleep when she heard him come in from his run. Her eyes peaked open as he crossed the living room towards his bedroom, tearing off the tight t-shirt he had been wearing. She didn't mean to stare but his back muscles were incredibly distracting. Soon enough, he was in his bedroom again then zipping into the shower. She flopped onto her back on the couch and sighed. She couldn't believe her lack of control as her brain raced - it made her wonder, seeing Steve's sculpted body, if he and Bucky were really built the same. What was he like before the serum and god, what was he like now?

Their morning continued quietly. Avery skipped the shower but did eat a bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon he offered. He even made her a fancy coffee - some delicious latte that came out of some fancy machine on his kitchen counter. She didn't take Captain America for the at-home barista type but seemed he liked to experiment.

And that was it. They both left for their respective offices without as much as a 'see you later' and carried on.

Later, after she talked to someone from the _Project Square One_ housing division about the break in, she had plans to go back to her building after work. She sighed and figured she owed Steve an update.

Avery: _I'm meeting with someone from the building maintenance team after work  
_ Steve: _when? I'd like to be there, too  
_ Avery: _no thanks, i can handle this on my own  
_ Avery: _i just need a new door handle  
_ Avery: _and i'd like to clean up the place  
_ Avery: _and I've gotta feed Wally_

There was a long few minutes Avery stared at her phone, waiting for Steve's protest of a reply.

Steve: _okay  
_ Steve: _let me know how it goes, please  
_ Avery: _are you that worried about the cat's eating schedule?  
_ Steve: _I meant how it goes with the maintenance person  
_ Steve: _although i hope the cat is happy, too_

Avery smiled to herself and headed towards her subway station.

Her meeting with _Rolf,_ the building maintenance manager, was less than productive. He met with her and huffed a lot, eyeing up the door and muttering about insurance requirements. After tapping away on his tablet, he frowned and told her he could have a new locking mechanism Monday morning. He managed to install a basic deadbolt in the meantime but Avery was a bit unsettled about the whole thing. She tidied the rest of her plant mess and sighed as she glanced around her apartment.

She felt violated, standing there and looking at her things. Whomever that was had invaded her privacy and rifled through her things and she _hated_ the uncomfortable feeling running through her.

She knew it had nothing to do with Bucky being out of town, but this week without him had been such a mess already. She just wanted to call him and whine about _all of this_ and have him playfully roll his eyes and cook her dinner and wrap his arms around her. He'd mumble some platitude in her ear to make her giggle. She wanted some semblance of comfort.

She felt a wave of anxiety rush through her when she shut the door behind her and headed into Bea's. She sat quietly on the couch while Wallace ate, taking long breaths to try and calm herself down. She nearly screamed when she felt her phone buzzing. Steve Rogers.

"Hey Steve," she answered quickly, pressing the phone to her ear.

"Are you still at your apartment?"

"Just feeding the cat." She sighed and told him about her discussion with the maintenance man. "I'm thinking I can just get a hotel room until they-

"Avery, don't be absurd. Just come back to my place. You can stay with me until Bucky gets back, at least. It's Survivor night, anyway."

She smiled. She sort of belonged to the Thursday Night Reality TV club with Steve and Bucky now. "Okay, fine. But at least let me grab the pizza for dinner then?"

He was agreeable to that suggestion. A few hours later, they were both on Steve's couch, though at opposite ends, waiting for their show to start. They talked, very generically, about their days. Avery had changed from her typical work attire into a pair of soft leggings and a sweatshirt, feeling comforted by the fabric hugging her body. Steve was in his own casual clothes, a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, both fitting him incredibly well. Avery wished she hadn't noticed his finely tuned body underneath the shirt but she couldn't help herself.

Avery decided she liked Steve's place. It was very _Steve_. The exposed bricks, framed sketch drawings (she wondered if they were his own or by an artist he admired), a reasonable kitchen with a small table, cool tiled bathroom with a gigantic walk in shower. She felt much less anxious there, knowing Steve was just a few feet away. Knowing his doors locked. Knowing there was much less likely chance of danger in her current position, instead of being at her own apartment in that moment.

It was almost domestic, the energy between them. Like two roommates having a sleepover. It was mostly keeping Avery's anxieties at bay.

Mostly.

Almost.

It was before the credits for the show rolled that something shifted in her. The feelings came on very suddenly - panic, fear, anticipation. She was quick to move the plate in her lap onto the coffee table in front of her, squeezing her eyes shut and moving so her feet were touching the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve's voice sounded far away.

She wasn't okay.

She felt like she was _dying_.

Her vision started to blur and narrow as she looked around, immediately regretting letting her eyes open again. They snapped shut and she brought a hand up to her chest, feeling it begin to move up and down rapidly. The feeling of fear dialed up as her shoulders tensed. Her hand shook over her heart as her breaths grew more and more shallow. It was as if she couldn't get enough air into her lungs.

"Avery?"

She could feel the weight of the couch shift as Steve shuffled towards her. Before he reached her, she fell forward and collapsed onto her knees.

_You're dying Avery. This is it. Your heart is giving up._

It felt as in every ounce of her life and energy was slipping away as she hyperventilated on the floor. She was certain Steve was behind her, hand on her back but she couldn't feel anything. She felt paralyzed with fear, like every single inch of her was anticipating the worst case scenario and that was all going to lead to her imminent death.

"Something is wrong, something is wrong…" The words came out of her mouth without intention, like a mantra as she tried to wrap her arms around herself. She was hot, so hot. As if her skin was on fire. She trembled at her own touch as she yanked her sweater off, desperate for the relief.

"Avery, listen to me."

_Don't listen to him. You're dying._

"Avery, I think you're having a panic attack…"

Her chest felt heavier and heavier. Why weren't her lungs working? Why couldn't her heart stop racing? What was going to happen next? It somehow felt like she had spent a hundred years crying into his carpet.

_This is it._

She barely felt Steve grab her, all of her, in his arms. She tried to fight his embrace as he hurried through his apartment but it was like her body was giving up. She gave in. Her head took rest on his chest, as her lungs tried to breathe him in.

_I'm giving up._

Avery's mind and body didn't even start to calm down until she felt the sudden blast of cold water on her skin. It was as if she was finally returning to her body as she relaxed in Steve's arms, shaking as the water centered her. The shock to her system worked as her heart rate finally slowed down and her breath calmed to a more acceptable pace. She finally pulled her head away from Steve's chest and opened her eyes, looking up at him.

The look on his face was new to her - stoic, concerned, apprehensive. He was just as soaked as she was - his hair flat on top of his head, water droplets catching in his beard. His eyes met her and suddenly there was relief. "You're safe, Avery."

She used one of her hands to tap his arm and he slowly let her down, moving to shut off the water that was pouring down from above them.

"I'm sorry about this..a lot of our team deals with their stress in different ways and panic attacks aren't uncommon. I've thrown Bucky in a lot of showers to bring him back to Earth. I shouldn't have acted so quickly with you and thi-

"Thank you." Avery was quiet as she cut him off. "That's never happened to me before."

This time Steve didn't hesitate as he wrapped his arms around her again, though he was suddenly aware they were both very wet and Avery was barely covered in her bra and leggings.

Avery couldn't believe how warm Steve felt. His arms were like a protective weight and a radiator put together. She would never know they had just been standing under cold water. She could feel tears coming to her eyes again but she relaxed into him. "That felt like.."

"Talk to me, sweetheart," Steve's words were barely audible in her ear. "I know it's not easy but saying it out loud will help."

Avery smiled to herself. She remembered what Bucky had said about Steve - how he always wants to talk about whatever is going on. She couldn't fault him for it, really. It was clearly a skill he had honed when he was working with all those support groups. She stayed in his embrace for a few more minutes then her shivering returned.

"I don't know what to..how to.." Avery took a deep breath. "I was really convinced I might die. How can my brain betray me like that?" Steve's hands moved up and down her back, attempting to bring more warmth back to her. She liked his touch - as if she had been hungry for the attention all week. It was easy, gentle.

"You take a hot shower. I'll make some tea." Steve gave her one last squeeze then let go, grabbing a towel out of his cabinet and leaving it on the counter for her. Avery let out a long sigh as he closed the door behind him.

The hot, hot, hot shower was a nice contrast and helped soothe Avery's shivers. When she stepped out after, she wrapped the soft towel around her body and noticed her packed duffle bag was resting just inside the bathroom door. There was also a sweatshirt folded on top of it. She pulled on a pair of shorts and happily tugged on the sweatshirt, breathing in deeply at the scent. It smelled like Bucky.

Avery smiled as she considered whether Bucky had left it at Steve's or if Steve was a clothing thief, too.

She ran her fingers through her damp hair and finally exited the bathroom, slowly making her way back to the living room. She found Steve sitting on the couch, with a book in his lap. On the coffee table there was a small teapot and two mugs sitting on a tray. She noticed his hair was still damp but he had changed into a pair of pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. His eyes lifted from his book to meet hers, a gentle smile on his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as she took a seat beside him on the couch, pulling her knees up under to sit criss crossed.

"More exhausted than I have in a while," she answered honestly, reaching out to grab one of the mugs of tea. It was warm in her hands. "Funny that the brain and body can go from convincing me death is near to a desire to sleep for a week."

"A panic attack can take a lot out of a person," Steve said with a nod. "And they can really come out of nowhere. So this isn't your fault."

She was surprised he was doing such a good job reading her mind. "You managed to do the mind meld without even touching me. Impressive."

Steve raised an eyebrow curiously at her. Clearly he didn't get her reference.

"Star Trek.." Her lips turned up into a smile at his confused face. "Nevermind, grandpa."

"Ah, there's Avery," Steve nudged her arm with his hand. "I thought I lost you."

She smiled again and sipped her tea. As she returned it to the table, she shifted in her seat to face him. "I have a really hard time with feelings that come all at once. Does that make sense?" Steve just tilted his head, as if to encourage her to elaborate. "Like..the last few weeks with Bucky have been really up and down. But it was intense and a lot. Then, he was gone. And I know it might not always be like this but..when it is..I don't know. I guess I'm going to have to try and deal with it better." She paused. "It was like this aggressive sprint then hitting a wall. So what do we do? Pace ourselves? Intentionally slow down especially before he leaves again?"

She shook her head. "I tend to do things at 100%. But maybe I can't if it's going to overwhelm me like this."

Steve reached his hand out and placed it on her knee for a moment. "Some people just feel more intensely than others. Might be a hard balance with you and Buck. He can certainly feel intensely but it can still be really foreign to him. It has taken him a really long time to understand what real emotions are again." Steve pulled his hand back and pushed it through his hair, taking a breath. "And I think it scares him a lot more than he's willing to admit."

Avery closed her eyes and leaned back. That made a lot of sense. She couldn't even begin to imagine how it felt to be devoid of feeling like a human for so long then having to understand what being a _human_ meant again. She pursed her lips, as she lost herself in her thoughts.

What if..being with her introduced Bucky to new things but then he changed his mind? What if his feelings came back while dating her and he figured out he wanted something else? Someone else? What if she just ended up being some weird experimental phase for him?

"Hey..where did you just go?" Steve squeezed her knee once more, then reached for his mug of tea.

"Into a tiny, scary door in the hallway of my brain labeled 'Doubts'," she said quietly. "After trying to understand how I lost five years of my life I've toed the line between 'why the hell not? What do I have to lose?' and 'Life is a temporary void and time doesn't matter'..temporary. I don't want to feel that way ever again. But it resurfaces sometimes and I never used to feel that way before I vanished. And I'm pissed it's destroyed my brain so much."

"Your feelings are valid and fair, Avery."

Avery rolled her eyes. "Can you be a bit less clinical here? I have a therapist who gives me a lot of great advice already."

Steve laughed at her honesty and huffed out an exhale. "I don't know what to tell you - how life has played out for people like you is pretty messed up. And it sucks a lot."

Avery laughed with him. "It does suck. You're right."

"But.. there's also a lot of good things in your life, now, wouldn't you say? I mean, you have a grumpy, charming boyfriend. Who has been especially happy these last few weeks."

Avery smiled at his commentary. Bucky was certainly was one of the things she didn't want to be temporary. Not that she felt bold enough to admit that out loud.

"I also have his supportive, witty boyfriend in my life, too," Avery replied to him, reaching for her own mug of tea. "And don't do that thing where you say he's not your boyfriend. You don't need to label it. It doesn't bother me, you know."

That was mostly the truth.

She could sense Steve wasn't sure what to say next so she returned her mug to the table again and let out a yawn. Her brain and body really were desperate for sleep.

"I'm taking the couch tonight," Steve said to her, following her as she stood. "And we are not arguing about it. You need a good sleep."

Avery held up her hands in protest. "Okay, okay." She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Would you..would it be weird if you just laid beside me until I fell asleep?"

The corner of Steve's lip raised into a smile. "Sure, I can do that."

After moving the dishes to the kitchen Steve made his way to his bedroom. It was in the back of the apartment and a comfortable size for New York. Big enough for a generous king bed, at least. Avery was already tucked under the covers on the far side near the window. Steve climbed in beside her, matching her pose as he laid flat on his back.

"I noticed you and Bucky use the same body wash," Avery said quietly, turning her head to look over at Steve who let out a chuckle.

"You mean he stole my signature scent," Steve replied with a smirk. " _Old Spice Patriot_."

"Fitting," Avery laughed, closing her eyes and sinking into the pillow. For the first time all week, she felt almost calm. She wasn't sure if it was the mental and physical exhaustion or the sense of safety lying beside Captain America himself. But at that moment, she was really grateful.

"Thank you, by the way." Her voice was quiet. "For helping me through this tonight." She stretched her arm down and her hand grabbed onto his, squeezing it hard. She was compelled to lean over and kiss him goodnight but she pressed her shoulders into the bed.

"Of course," Steve replied in the same tone. "You're Bucky's girl. I'm here for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure this didn't clear up anything for Avery or Steve :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
> 
> Heads up! I do not condone taking someone having a panic attack into a cold shower to break them from it. I know that's not how it works! I think Steve just..well, panicked and reverted to helping *by any means necessary* and it sort of worked out but yikes, what a risk. I want to do this mental health stuff justice and if you think i'm straying, I appreciate the discussion.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to all of you reading along! I'm so glad to have you here. This story has already escalated beyond my initial plans - which is great! Like am I mad to already be thinking of a second story? Yikes, I need to calm down. I am overjoyed and grateful for every subscription, kudos, comment and bookmark!! Ya'll make my heart go *boom* (#Hamilton)
> 
> Story notes: did we catch Steve calling Avery *sweetheart* ….. Feelings. Are. Messy.
> 
> Coming up next: Bucky comes home in a bit of a state and Avery learns a lot. Plus, not ALL bad guys have companies with concerning acronyms...S.H.O.T… but most of them do.


	13. Guilty

Thursday night, despite the physical and mental exhaustion, Avery's sleep was not peaceful. It was arguably better than the night before on the couch but she woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for air. She worried immediately it was another panic attack and the dark unfamiliar room made it hard for her to find her bearings. Her arm stretched out to the side, feeling to see if Bucky was laying in bed beside her.

Wait. No, not Bucky.

Bucky was on a mission.

This was Steve's bed. And when her hand landed on a torso beside her, it belonged to Steve, not Bucky. She pulled her hand back quickly, scrunching her face up. As she took slow deep breaths, she prayed Steve was a heavy sleeper and didn't feel her movements on the other side of the bed. She flipped onto her side and faced away from Steve doing her best to calm her racing mind enough to get back to sleep.

She was okay. She was safe.

Her shoulders tensed when the bed moved behind her. She felt a warm hand on her back next, moving in slow circles. Steve's touch was gentle and a small voice in the back of Avery's mind was telling her to shake it off or ask him to stop. But it was surprisingly soothing. Neither of them said anything but Avery's shoulders slumped eventually and her eyes started to feel heavy again.

She was safe.

Avery didn't wake up until well past eight Friday morning. When she flipped over onto her back, stretching out her limbs, she was alone. She listened for a few moments, wondering if Steve was in the shower or making breakfast, but the apartment appeared to be empty. She was relieved, in a way. Not that Steve wasn't good company but she was grateful to avoid his probing questions about how she was feeling.

Frankly, she had no idea how she was feeling. Still lonely, freaked out, nervous, anxious..but okay.

Letting out a long sigh, Avery reached over and grabbed her phone from the small bedside table. She flicked through her notifications then noticed she had a message from Steve.

Steve: _morning! Had an early meeting today. Feel free to scavenge my kitchen for something to eat  
_ Steve: _if you wanna come by the office this afternoon, there's something i'd like to show you_

Avery sat up in the bed and thought about her day ahead. She had absolutely nothing planned, considering Bea was out of town their Friday morning date was off the table. She did want to head out to her apartment for a bit but she figured whatever Steve wanted to show her was bound to eat up some of her time.

Avery: _do you trust me to use your fancy coffee machine?_

She was surprised to see Steve reply so quickly.

Steve: _yes  
_ Steve: _if Bucky can manage it, anyone can  
_ Avery: _I can't tell if that's offense to me or him  
_ Avery: _and sure, i'll come by this afternoon  
_ Avery: _just tell me a time and place_

Avery took her time getting ready that morning. She was kind of appreciative of the time along in Steve's place - it was like looking into who he was directly. Not that she was snooping around, but between his well organized fridge and scattered piles of sketchbooks stacked between books on his shelves, she felt she could tell a lot about him.

If she was being honest with herself, getting to know Steve better left her with a lot of questions. Why didn't he and Bucky live together? Was there anything stopping Steve from dating someone, too? Would he even want a girlfriend? Was he attracted to women at all? Had he been in a relationship outside of Bucky before? What happens ten years in the future? Was any relationship Bucky entered just going to lead to a disappointing end if his future was Steve?

Was there ever a sexual attraction between the two men? Was that something Avery would ever be bold enough to ask?

Were they ever going to talk about any of this?

She sure as hell wasn't comfortable bringing it up.

Once Avery made it to Brooklyn, she changed into some fresh clothes - a pair of comfortable skinny jeans and an oversized striped t-shirt - then continued reorganizing her apartment. She did her weekly plant rotation, made any necessary comments in her notebook then spent some time across the hall with Wallace.

It was a fairly quiet morning and she was grateful it kept her mind at peace. Her home was feeling mainly back to normal but she couldn't dismiss the lingering violated feeling she got when she thought about what happened Wednesday night. She was also irritated to find her back feeling really stiff. Initially she thought maybe it was just from stress and a change of sleeping locations, but the more she thought back to her confrontation with the man who had broken in Wednesday, the clearer it became that her slam into the wall had left some residual pain aching through her backside.

She made a note to request a back massage from Bucky the minute he got home.

Bucky.

Avery was trying not to worry about how he might react to what happened this week. She knew he was going to be disappointed in her for going into her apartment without knowing what was going on inside. She hoped he wouldn't be upset that she shared a bed with Steve. But, more than anything, she didn't want him to worry about her over what had happened.

Later Friday afternoon, Avery made her way to Stark Plaza to try and navigate to where she was meeting Steve. She didn't know much about how the Avengers worked now, but she understood most of their work was discreet. Steve had instructed her to meet him inside the main lobby of the Stark Industries building. The space was huge - bustling with people going to and from, dressed in suits and skirts. One half of the building was dedicated to The Stark Foundation, too. The floor-to-ceiling walls welcomed in the mid-afternoon sun and as Avery waited for Steve, she walked through the lobby slowly - scanning her eyes over the colourful murals that lined a nearby seating area.

The mural was part art piece and part history lesson, outlining vague details about the history of Stark Industries, Iron Man's legacy and the original Avengers team. There were memorials to lost comrades from over the years of alien warfare and Avery felt a deep sense of gratitude for all the people listed, though she would never meet them.

She was pulled away from her thoughts when she heard someone calling her name as they approached her. She turned to see Sharon walking towards her, a warm smile on her face. She was dressed in navy pants and a suit jacket, blonde hair falling down her shoulders.

"Sharon, hi."

"Hey Avery," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Steve is just wrapping up a meeting and sent me to grab you. Do you want a coffee or anything?" They walked towards a small coffee cart in the corner. "I lost a bet to Steve so I'm on coffee duty this week."

Avery couldn't help but smirk. "I'm well caffeinated but thank you."

"Little does he know I still have his corporate card," Sharon gave Avery a wink as she ordered and paid for two coffees. Sharon spent the next couple of minutes giving Avery a brief tour of the main Stark Industries building. It all felt very normal and corporate. It was when Sharon waved her hand against a section of a very normal looking wall, and it slid open revealing an elevator, that a strange feeling of anticipation came across Avery.

She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't visiting Steve's office at work, like he was a corporate CEO leading a Fortune-500 company. He was Captain America and the Avengers didn't operate like any normal business. What Avery appreciated the most about her tour with Sharon was how comfortable she felt. Sharon was cheeky and well-read, spouting off facts about The Stark Foundation and some of their activities but Avery mostly liked hearing her talk jokingly about Steve, Sam and Bucky.

"You must have the patience of a saint dealing with those three every day," Avery commented as they traveled down in the elevator.

"You have no idea," Sharon returned a smirk to her. "But I learned a lot about Steve when we dated years ago. Piece of advice: if you ever need to shut him up or distract him, he physically cannot restrain himself from arguing about The Mets versus the Yankees or women who dye their hair unnatural colours."

"I guess I'll file both of those away for future use," Avery laughed. "When did you and Steve date?" She wasn't sure she needed the answer to that question or if it was appropriate to ask. Yet, it escaped her lips anyway.

"Oh, a while ago," Sharon pursed her lips when the doors opened, stepping out into a sleek grey hallway. "During the five year gap. It was good, sometimes. We definitely work better as friends, though." Sharon nudged her head to the right and Avery followed her down the corridor. "We were sort of an escape for each other at the time. But we realized eventually I wasn't what Steve needed."

Avery was surprised Sharon was unleashing all this history to her - offering it so willingly. It was almost as if she was doing it on purpose.

Avery desperately wanted to ask what she thought it was Steve needed, if not Sharon. But she swallowed the words down and let Sharon change the subject instead. She explained how they occupy two floors and a large warehouse underneath Stark Plaza. It's where most of The Avengers logistics, planning and strategizing takes place while they use the compound for training, storage and any additional organizing when preparing for missions or fieldwork. She pointed out a few office spaces, common areas, and communication rooms where agents appeared to be monitoring news stations and computer screens.

Eventually they got to a large row of offices with glass walls and a boardroom. Avery stopped outside the walls of the room and her jaw dropped as she looked inside. She turned her head to Sharon. "Is that.."

"The Hulk?" Sharon's lips turned up into a smile as she followed Avery's eyes. Sitting in the boardroom with Steve was, without a doubt, Bruce Banner.

"Dr. Bruce Banner," Avery talked over Sharon's response, shaking her head with a smile. "I studied so many of his papers when I was in university. Wow." She didn't even consider the fact that Steve and Bucky knew Bruce Banner. Sure, he was a different version of the doctor she lauded years ago - the large green mass of a person sitting at the boardroom table was a nearly unbelievable sight - but she was feeling nearly starstruck nonetheless. Avery could hear Sharon laughing beside her still. Before she pulled her gaze away from the boardroom, Steve's eyes glanced over and he smiled when he saw them standing there. He motioned his hand as if to wave them in. Bruce turned to watch as Steve stood and opened the door.

With a cheeky smile he took the coffee from Sharon as they walked in. "We're just finishing up." He turned to Avery next and smiled. "I wanted to introduce you to Bruce Ba-"

"Oh my god, Dr. Banner." Avery's hand flew out to meet his as he stood. His large green palms were surprisingly warm to the touch and she grasped it with her left hand as well, shaking it up and down. "I can't believe I'm meeting you in person. Sorry, I'm..I can't believe this." She glanced up at the man who was smiling at her, almost embarrassed. "I took biochemistry at Columbia and studied with Winona Bolton. You actually guest lectured for one of my Cell Biology courses and I always wanted to ask whether or not you succeeded in cross-breeding your bioluminesce gardenia strain and wow, I am rambling, I am so sorry."

Avery's mouth drew into a straight line and she shook her head.

Steve couldn't help but smile at her excited tirade and clamped a hand on Bruce's arm. "This is Avery."

"It's nice to meet you, Avery," Bruce said, eyes warm and kind. "To answer your question, no. I didn't succeed with the gardenia but I actually have a few trials going on a _hippeastrum_. Wow, I didn't know people still cared about my botany work. That was a fun degree to work on with Winona." His lips curled up into a smile. "I never get to talk plants anymore. Physics, sure. Quantum mechanics." He let out a laugh next and nudged his head. "You're welcome to come down to my little indoor greenhouse if you want to see a few things I'm working on."

Avery looked excitedly from Bruce to Steve, as if checking with her parent if that was okay. Steve just laughed and waved his hand. "Go ahead. I'll come find you in a bit."

Bruce led her out of the room, asking questions about what she studied in school and what sparked her interest in plants in the first place.

Steve returned to his seat at the boardroom table and took a sip of his coffee, leaning back in his chair. Sharon dropped down in a chair across from him and offered a smile. "You alright?"

Steve nodded. "I always get a little restless before these missions end." He wanted to explain a lot about what was going on in his head and heart but wasn't sure he could articulate it yet. Even to Sharon. He was happy to see Avery smiling and that had to be enough.

"I know," Sharon nodded, running her fingers along the sleeve of her paper cup. "Oh. I got a hit on that search you wanted." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the S.H.O.T business card from her pocket. Steve took it back from her extended hand and dropped it into the upper pocket of his own shirt. "I don't have all the info yet but we had one positive hit for a business match. I have a registered number based out of Turks & Caicos and I'm waiting to decode the company name."

Steve let out a long exhale and nodded. "Thanks, Sharon. I'm trying not to lean into this bad feeling but.."

"It's only reasonable to have your guard up. But try not to stress." Sharon tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "For a super soldier, I think you might be getting a grey hair or two."

Avery spent over an hour with Bruce - he gave her a thorough tour of both his greenhouse projects and his entire lab. There was a sincere gentleness to how he talked to her and for that Avery was grateful. Eventually Steve came down and told her some good news: the team was wheels up early and heading home from their mission ahead of schedule. He asked if she wanted to drive out to the compound with him to meet the jet as it came in.

This time they travelled in the Jeep, thankfully. The journey was fairly short but thanks to the end of day Friday traffic it was slower than Steve wanted. It was quiet though. Avery spent most of the drive staring out the window while Steve hummed along to the music on his preferred classics station.

"Do you think whoever broke into my apartment will come back?"

Steve's eyes darted to the side quickly as he listened to her sudden question. Truthfully, he had no idea how to answer. He let out a quiet sigh and drew his eyes back to the road ahead of him. He could sense she was still anxious - understandably so. But he was growing concerned it wasn't his place to provide her comfort and support.

"I talked to a friend about the security in your building today," Steve finally replied, moving his jaw to the side for a moment as he contemplated what else to say. Yes, he had called Pepper that morning and told her about what had happened at one of the buildings under the funding of the Stark Foundation _Square One_ project. Specifically, he narrowed in on the concern he had for the wellbeing of Bucky's girlfriend.

It wasn't something Pepper would have normally dealt with. The fine details of a housing project was not something that crossed the radar of the person running a multi billion dollar international foundation. She was, of course, concerned when Steve explained what had happened and very quickly made a few phone calls for a full audit of the Brooklyn apartment building and expedited the authorization for security camera installation in stairwells and hallways, plus a special order for an entire new door and windows for unit 509.

"They're going to make some changes across all their buildings - increased safety protocols and updated procedures." Steve nodded as he spoke. "So, I don't think you need to worry." Saying that out loud was a reminder to himself, too.

Avery watched Steve as he spoke. She immediately felt guilty he called in some favour for her and she was pressed to argue. But, she stopped herself. It was kindness and help, not pity. She didn't ask him to do that but Steve took the initiative on himself. Plus, it was for the greater good, not just for her. It was a gesture - a very Captain America thing to do.

"I'm worried about Bea, honestly," Avery said quietly. "I especially don't want her to ever wrestle with this weird violated feeling. That's not fair."

Steve's heart lurched in his chest as her kindness bubbled out. There she sat, lost in her world of anxious thoughts but all she could bring to the surface was her concern for her friend across the hall.

"I will take full responsibility if anything happens to Beatrice or Wallace, Avery. I promise." Steve's lips pulled into a smile as he caught her drop the tension from her shoulders. "Also, as a precaution, maybe don't leave envelopes stuffed with money laying around in the future."

"That is not a common occurrence," Avery laughed and shook her head.

Steve was trying to bait her into explaining that whole thing to him but she didn't say anything else. He was particularly curious about it but couldn't find the nerve to ask anymore questions. Maybe it was her rent money or she needed to pay for something with cash.

They stopped and grabbed a late dinner at a small diner on their way to the compound. Avery only asked once what the team's ETA was and she was growing more and more excited to see Bucky. Coming home a day early was a silver lining to her troubling week and she really couldn't wait to see his dumb smiling face.

When they arrived at the compound, it was quiet. There were only a handful of agents on the property milling around, finishing up training or projects before the weekend. Avery trailed slowly behind Steve as they meandered through the building. Eventually they stopped at Steve's office and Avery flopped onto the couch while he planted himself at the desk.

"Steve?" Avery shifted her head slightly to look in his direction. His eyes were locked to his screen.

"Hmm?"

"I don't want this to seem like an inappropriate question but given what I know about Bucky..how does this work? When he comes back from missions?"

It was a fair question and Steve wasn't entirely sure how to answer. There were a lot of variables in play - who was on the mission with him, how long they were gone, his mood, the actual details about what their goals had been. Steve could easily handle whatever version of Bucky was coming home but he didn't really know how to prepare Avery. It might be for nothing anyway - without knowing the details, things could have gone really well in Sokovia. But until they got off the jet, he had no way of knowing for certain.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and leaned back in his chair. "It can be different every time. He has much better control over his mind now though. Sometimes he just needs space when he comes back, sometimes he closes up for a few days, sometimes he breaks equipment in the gym."

Avery nodded. That made sense. Maybe she couldn't prepare for anything but just wait and see how their reunion may go.

"How do you want to handle everything though?" Steve countered, turning his chair to look forwards towards her. He leaned and rested his elbows on his knees and pointed a hand at the couch. "Break in..panic attack.."

"I'd like to tell him about the panic attack by myself." Avery closed her eyes and rested her arms on her chest.

"Sure." Steve nodded. He opened his mouth to say something else then stopped. Was she going to tell him about the shower and how they slept in the same bed? That stuff really didn't matter. In fact, Steve knew Bucky likely wouldn't care. He would be grateful even that Steve was there for her.

And yet, Steve still felt a guilty feeling in his chest.

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, trying to fill the time before the jet was to be returning. Avery pulled herself off the couch and wandered through Steve's office. It was adjacent to a boardroom, with just a glass wall and door separating the area. Across from his desk was a big picture window that looked across the lake. On the wall opposite the boardroom was built in bookshelves, surrounding a large screen. The shelves were filled with miscellaneous items, mainly Avengers related. One shelf housed a series of action figures, another some framed portraits. One shelf even had some comical oversized Key to the City they must have been given at some event in the past. Avery's eyes landed on a shelf full of books, all Captain America themed.

"This sorta feels like a shrine to yourself here, Cap," Avery said as she looked over her shoulder at him, a smirk on her face.

"It's become an ongoing joke to gift me Captain America books," Steve replied with a laugh. "The unofficial tell-all some tabloid produced was a recent addition from Sam."

Avery's fingers grazed across the stack of books and landed on a thick hardcover titled in the middle of the shelf. She pulled it out and smiled at the portrait on the front: Steve in his iconic blue cowl with a million dollar smile.

"That's probably the only one worth the printing costs," Steve commented. "Well, it's the only one on that shelf I actually contributed to, at least."

"Would it be weird if I read it?" Avery flipped it over in her hands, scanning the quotes from famous people lauding the book.

"Nah, go ahead." Steve shrugged. "Just no laughing at the childhood pictures."

"Well now that's the first thing I'm going to look at." Avery returned to the couch that sat between his desk and the glass wall, crossing her legs and cracking the book open. She was a few chapters into the book - about the time a young Steven Grant Rogers wanted to enlist in the army - when Steve's phone alarm started going off. He smiled as he dismissed it and looked up to meet Avery's confused stare.

"They're about ten minutes away," he said, explaining the alarm. "Shall we?"

Steve led Avery out of his office and down to the hangar on the bottom level, which sat adjacent to the garage they had pulled into earlier. These were a handful of agents preparing for the jet's arrival and by the time Avery and Steve planted themselves at the back of the room, the far doors were slowly opening. The loud sound of an engine was heard outside and Avery's mouth dropped open when the jet came to a landing outside the doors only to be slowly piloted into the building. This was another instance that this was _real_ \- she was inside the hangar at The Avengers compound and one of their jets just came to a halt a hundred feet away from her. This always seemed very far away, like something out of a movie. She wasn't a stranger to military planes or jets but this stealth charcoal vessel in front of her eyes just seemed otherworldly.

She let out a laugh to herself and shook her head. This was just a reminder that she was dating a dang Avenger and had just spent the better half of her day with Captain _freaking_ America himself.

This was her life now.

Avery craned her neck a bit to try and see what was going on behind the jet. A loud sound reverberated when a ramp was dropped and her stomach started to swirl when she heard footsteps clamouring down the metal plank. A strange feeling of relief washed over her when she finally saw Bucky. She could have sworn she felt Steve relax beside her, too.

Bucky was caught up in a conversation with Sam as they exited the jet, arms full of gear. He had torn off most of his tactical layers, dressed now in just his heavy blank pants and a t-shirt. He was _tired_ and desperate to shower and finally get to his phone so he could reach out to Steve and Avery. Just as both he and Sam made it around the corner of the jet, his eyes scanned the room. When he spotted their guests waiting at the other end of the hangar, he couldn't contain his smile. He dropped his gear to the ground and hurried towards them, wrapping his arms around Avery.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, doll," he spoke into her ear as she remained in his arms. "What are you doing here?" He planted a kiss on her forehead as he let go, shifting to grab a hug from Steve, too.

Before their reunion could continue, another set of feet approached.

"Cap, since you're here I'm requesting we do a debrief right now." Wanda's tone was curt as her eyes moved from Steve towards Sam and Bucky. "Or I'm going to kill one of these, too."

Sam sighed and met eyes with Bucky. "Listen, Wanda, we already went over -

She pointed towards the building and snapped her eyes to Steve again. "Now."

* * *

Steve sat on one side of the boardroom and tried his best to put on a neutral face. With a small team, it was hard to try and remain unbiased when things went incorrectly during a mission. He needed to hear all sides and dealing with Sam and Bucky was a headache enough most days. But throwing an irate Wanda into the mix was a challenge.

Sam and Bucky sat opposite Steve while Wanda stood at the far end, arms crossed.

"What I don't understand is why we go through the motions to determine our decisions must be unanimous yet you two idiots proceeded to do something when I veto'd it as unsafe. What's the point in being a team if you two ignore me?"

Bucky shifted in his chair and pointed towards her. "Wanda, you're overre-

"If you say overreacting one more time, I swear I'm going to-

"Enough, enough." Steve leaned on the table and glanced between the three. "Sam, just tell me what happened. You two can be quiet."

"After we helped the team from the UN safely extract all the civilians, we wanted to go back and deal with the rebel team. At least seize their weapons." Sam paused and looked at Bucky for a moment. "We figured doing it overnight was our best bet but Wanda was hesitant."

"So you went ahead with your plan anyway."

"There was some risk involved but we managed to get in and out, cased up the weapons and sequestered the gang leader. It is exactly what the lead from the UN team wanted to plan for but the timing worked out."

Steve just nodded. He could understand why they made their decision but it seemed there was something missing from the story. His eyes flicked over to Wanda.

"They left me at our camp alone for over three hours! I woke up and they were both missing. How is that for teamwork?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Well, you would have tried to stop us."

"Not tried. I would have stopped you," she hissed back at them. "A two to one vote is not unanimous, Barnes."

Bucky tilted his head to the side and gritted his teeth. "I think we're allowed to overrule that in some circumstances."

"Hey," Steve held up his hand to cut them both off. It was clear this entire situation had escalated and between the long week and personal connection for Wanda, they were all exhausted. "Let's shelf this right now. While you may have considered this the right move," Steve's eyes flicked between Sam and Bucky. "You both know better. This was inappropriate action and put all three of you at risk."

"Steve, c'mon. We -

"We're done talking about this. We'll go over the entire mission reports next week and figure out a way to move forward. Breaking trust between teammates is the last thing we need right now."

Wanda let out a long breath and turned to leave. Sam just shook his head and stood, clamping a hand on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky turned his head and nodded as Sam left the room.

"Steve, it was honestly the right choice. Sam and I were very delicate about the entire operation."

"We can talk about it next week, Buck." Steve shook his head. This was the hardest part of his relationship with Bucky - drawing the line between leader and partner. It was actually hard for him not to be frustrated that both Bucky and Sam had made a seemingly reckless choice because those extra strategies garner more risk. And it was hard enough sending the team off without having to be extra worried he would never see Bucky again because of some poorly planned decision. At least now, sitting across from him and seeing that he was alive and well, Steve could feel relief.

Aside from the normal wear and tear of a mission and the clear need for a shower, Bucky looked like Bucky. His eyes were alive, he was level headed and even occasionally smiled. It was a stark difference between old versions of Bucky who returned from missions with a hard scowl and a lost look in his eyes. It wasn't that Steve expected sunshine and rainbows from Bucky when he came back, but there was peace of mind that he could handle these missions better now.

Bucky smiled at Steve then glanced over towards Steve's office. He could see Avery laid out on the couch, patiently waiting for them to be done. Her eyes were cast down on a book and Bucky couldn't get over how comforting it was just to see her again. He gathered that she and Steve had been in touch while he was gone and that made him even happier to know they had a comfortable relationship developing.

As Bucky started to stand, Steve lifted his hand to stop him. "I've gotta tell you about something that happened to Avery on Wednesday."

* * *

Avery returned to the couch in Steve's office while the team gathered in the boardroom beside her. She was initially irritated that her exchange with Bucky had been so short lived but she felt better just knowing he was ten feet away divided by just a glass wall. That was much easier to handle than him being across the ocean or wherever their mission had been. She was so close to being able to just sleep beside Bucky that she would wait hours for them to debrief if necessary.

Her eyes turned for a moment when she saw Wanda and Sam leave the room. That was a good sign this was almost done. Her eyes returned to the _Star Spangled_ biography about Steve in her lap, trying to distract herself until they could head back home.

It was a short lived distraction though. Soon enough she realized the glass wall dividing Steve's office from that boardroom was not soundproof when she heard a loud exclaim from Bucky. She closed the book on her lap and turned her head to see him bounding up from the table and through the door to the office.

"Bucky," Avery started to speak as he approached her, swinging her legs off the couch and standing. He didn't even reply, instead choosing to wrap his arms around her tightly.

"Ave." His voice was quiet in her ear. He breathed her in, as if to ensure he would never forget her scent. "Stevie told me about your apartment.. are you okay?"

"Yes, please don't worry," Avery replied as he pulled away slightly. His eyes narrowed and scanned her face, as if trying to determine if she was telling the truth. "Really, I am. Steve's been keeping tabs on me ever since."

"Did he lecture you on how stupid it was for you to go into your apartment in the first place?"

"I covered that, yeah." Steve's voice sounded from the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "But feel free to drill it into her head."

Avery rolled her eyes at their commentary. "I have regrets about how I handled the whole thing, sure. But I think Steve laid the guilt on thick enough already."

Bucky moved his right hand from behind her back and cradled her face gently. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, doll."

She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. "Stop that, apology not necessary. I'm fine, overall. I don't want you to worry."

Bucky let out a quiet huff. He didn't like her casual attitude about the situation but he knew this wasn't the time to get into it. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

God, he had missed her. Being unreachable for a week hadn't done a lot of good for his mind but now, taking in the fact that Avery had been in danger while he was gone, was overwhelming. But, at least she was okay. Steve had been there to take care of her.

He was grateful, yet again, to have Steve.

After helping unload the jet and taking a long hot shower in the locker room, Bucky was ready to go home. He, Avery and Steve all headed back to the city together. It was late enough and they were all looking forward to sleeping. Steve dropped them off at their building and headed back to the village.

Bucky _insisted_ on doing his own analysis of Avery's apartment. Although she assured him Steve and the police officer had been very thorough, he wanted to take a look for himself. Avery figured it would make him feel better so there was no harm in humouring him. If it could help keep his fears at bay, she wasn't going to argue about it.

She unpacked her bag in her bedroom while Bucky did a sweep of the apartment. There was still an uneasy energy as she stood in her room. It went without saying there was no timeline to follow for processing her feelings - in time, the violated feeling would disappear. But in the meantime, Avery couldn't help but still feel a surge of anger that someone had come into her space. She let out a long breath as she tore off her shirt, feeling a pang of discomfort as she stretched her arms out.

"Shit," she muttered to herself as she posed in front of her mirror, sweeping her gaze over her shoulder at her back. Apparently the asshole who sent her flying across the hall was _strong_ because even two days later she had a dark bruise beside her spine. The whole altercation had been so quick and her brain had been so hyper aware of her anxiety that she didn't even think about how her back had connected with the doorframe across the hall.

"What's that bruise from?"

Avery turned to see Bucky and his cute concerned face coming into her room. She could never understand how he walked so silently.

"It's nothing," Avery waved her hand to dismiss his concerns.

"Avery." Bucky's left hand landed on her shoulder to stop her from turning and let his right hand trail over the bruise on her back.

"Shouldn't I be the one checking you for cuts and bruises?" She tried to crack a joke and distract him but Bucky just let out a frustrated sigh. "It was the guy who broke in," Avery said quietly. "He shoved me hard enough to throw me against the wall in the hallway."

Bucky let out a series of swear words under his breath and released his hand from her shoulder. "Steve said he pushed you out of the way, not-

"Bucky, please. I'm fine." Avery turned around to face him, arms crossed. It was clear he was getting worked up about the situation and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Avery, three inches to the left and that blow could have shattered some of your vertebrae!" He ran a hand through his hair then sighed. He knew being frustrated towards her was not helping but his ability to calm himself down seemed to be fleeting.

"You know, saying shit like that doesn't help me feel any better," Avery finally replied to him. "Maybe you're still in Avenger mode here but I would hope my boyfriend might offer words of comfort instead of potential worst case scenarios." She pushed past him and headed out of her room. She crouched down and started to scavenge through a basket of clothes near the bathroom to find a clean sweatshirt.

"Avery," Bucky's voice sounded behind her again.

"If you need time to be alone or decompress, I understand," she said quietly, grabbing a soft black crew neck from her pile of laundry. She stood up and pulled it on, crossing her arms again as she turned to him.

"I don't want to be alone," he responded with a headshake. "I'm sorry. I haven't been a boyfriend in a long time, doll. I don't mean t' make you feel worse. I just..I don't like the idea of you getting hurt."

Avery closed her eyes and sighed. She couldn't fault him for worrying about her. In fact, she felt better in a way knowing he was thinking about her wellbeing. She closed in the space between them and snaked her hands around him, leaning her head against his chest. "I appreciate your concern, Buck. Really. But look, I'm here in your arms right now and perfectly safe. So can we just go to bed?"

He nuzzled his head against hers. "We're putting ice on that bruise first."

"Fine," she grumbled, squeezing his sides. "That's a fair compromise."

Avery fell asleep curled up beside Bucky in his bed, her head resting on the crook of his left shoulder. His left arm curled around her waist, securing her close to his side. His warmth was the only comfort she needed to relax and fall asleep.

It was easy.

Waking up from a nightmare in his bed - that was a different story.

Bucky could hardly sleep. Despite how he had longed for a plush bed all week - the temporary camp they slept in while in Sokovia left a lot to be desired - his brain wouldn't stop racing. He kept going over all the details Steve had told him about that night at Avery's apartment, including the mysterious business card. He was trying really hard not to escalate his worries but he couldn't help but fear this had happened to Avery because of him.

It was mostly irrational. Their relationship was new and private. Most people didn't even know who he was or if he had any connection to Avery. But considering his history with HYDRA, it continued to cross his mind that being with Avery put her in danger by default. Even if that part of his life was behind him and HYDRA wasn't a current threat.

They all knew better than to let their guard down. HYDRA was wrapped around many powerful people in the past and that could very well mean someone was at the helm now. At the same time, not every criminal was connected to the ancient bad guy league. There would always be some sort of threat in the world.

Either way, it was putting Bucky on edge. Though he still struggled with easing his mind after a mission, stepping off the jet today he felt okay. Aside from Wanda's anger, the week had gone according to plan. But now, as he stared up at the ceiling with Avery tucked under his arm, he felt unsettled. He let out a slow exhale and glanced down at her, sleeping soundly on his shoulder. She looked content in the soft moonlight, at least.

It was a short lived description as just a few seconds later, Bucky noticed her breath picking up. Her face twitched a few times then her eyes went wide, mouth open gasping for air. She shot straight up, wrestling out of his arm and her left hand reached for her chest.

"Woah, Ave." He sat up slowly, turned on the lamp at his side, and brought his left hand up to her back, rubbing it gently. "Are you alright?" He could hear her gasping for air still and she shook her head rapidly. He shuffled to sit up on his knees quickly, putting himself behind her and pressing his hands gently onto her shoulder. This was a trick Steve used on him often, applying pressure to help him feel grounded. She was showing signs of a panic attack and he wanted to get ahead of it.

"Deep breaths, Avery," Bucky said quietly. "You're okay." He kept repeating that again and again, and slowly but surely her breathing returned to a normal pace. He moved his hands off her shoulders and ran his hands up and down her arms instead. He gave her a quick squeeze then shifted to move off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was low, scared.

"Getting you a glass of water. I'll be right back." Bucky leaned in and kissed her forehead. Soon enough, he was back in his bedroom and found her sitting crossed legged, head resting on her hands as her elbows pressed into her knees. He nudged her gently with his hand and she looked up, taking the glass from him with a shaking hand. Bucky sat beside her and rested his hand on her knee.

"I had a panic attack the other last night at Steve's," Avery revealed, looking down at the glass in her hand.

"Don't tell me he threw you in the shower," Bucky replied quietly, squeezing her knee.

She let out a soft laugh and looked up to meet his eyes. He was staring at her intensely, worry shining in his dark blue irises. "Sort of. He kind of just…" She motioned her arms like she was picking something up. "Carried me in."

"It's a shit method but it works," Bucky muttered out, shaking his head. "I'm glad you told me."

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes again. "And I slept in his bed..with him." She exhaled sharply. "Nothing happened, of course. But I thought you should know."

Bucky couldn't help but smile at her. "That's okay, doll. I'm grateful he was there for you." It really didn't bother him she shared a bed with Steve. In fact, it made him feel better that he was close by in case something else happened to her. He took solace in knowing someone he loved could look out for someone else he cared so deeply about.

"I'm just worried it's going to happen again.."

"Sleeping beside Steve? It'll get better. He's not always a bed hog."

Avery laughed again, grateful for Bucky's lighthearted attitude. "No, the panic attack."

"I can give you a ton of tips on what to do if it happens again and neither me or Stevie are around to help you, okay?" His hand extended out to cradle her face. "You're not alone in this, Ave."

A warm feeling rumbled in Avery's chest at his words. It was a nice sentiment. Whether or not she believed it was another thing.

"You know, I was really worried I would be lost trying to help _you_ when you got back from this mission," Avery said quietly as she laid back down, tucking herself in beside Bucky again. "Yet, you're the one looking out for me."

"That's part of my role as boyfriend," he said, laying a kiss on her forehead after reaching to turn off the lamp.

"I usually save my emotional breakdowns for at least six months in," Avery said through a yawn, reaching her hand up to clutch onto his t-shirt. She was trying to deflect, of course.

She really wanted to follow up with ' _I hope I don't scare you off.'_

Bucky just laughed quietly in response, squeezing her tight to his side, safe in his arms. He could deal with emotional breakdowns and panic attacks, that was easy enough.

It was the warm, rushing affection coursing through him that was the scary part.

* * *

Steve didn't mind dropping off Bucky and Avery in Brooklyn - it was common for Bucky to want time to himself after a mission. But watching them head into the building, Bucky's arm draped over Avery's shoulder, a strange feeling came over him. He couldn't pinpoint if it was jealousy or guilt or loneliness but it overwhelmed him nonetheless. He let out a long breath and gripped the steering wheel for a few moments before leaving.

He wasn't used to these feelings.

Crawling into his bed when he got home was easy. But rolling over and inhaling the soft lavender smell that Avery had left behind on his pillows was hard.

He stared at the ceiling and tried to rationalize with himself. Was there any harm in having a crush? Was it even a crush? God, how trivial was the idea of _crushing_ on Bucky's girl. He felt like a teenager again, thinking about their shared moments of laughter at the diner earlier or how peaceful she looked on the couch of his office, lost in pages of that stupid biography. He was happy to have distracted her for the day and even more grateful Bruce had taken her to his lab for a few hours. Her excitement had been invigorating and it helped him forget the memory of her hyperventilating on his living room floor the night before.

The whole situation was getting out of hand. He didn't blame Bucky for wanting to explore his feelings for Avery. Considering how much Steve had encouraged it, it would be especially irrational for him to go back on that now. But as Bucky and Avery's relationship grew, it was clear the one Steve had with Bucky was going to change.

Steve eventually dismissed all his thoughts and fell asleep.

_Steve could be a heavy sleeper at times. But for some reason, feeling Avery shift in the bed beside him caused him to stir awake. He could hear her trying to hide her shallow breaths._

_He swallowed hard and rolled over, hesitantly extending his hand. He made contact with her back slowly, rubbing circles to try and soothe her. She tensed for a second then it was clear she was relaxing. He sighed to himself but smiled, too._

_She rotated when he pulled his hand away, turning to face him instead. Steve felt his heart catch in his throat as she shuffled closer, mumbling out a thank you to him. Then, as if he had no control over his limbs, Steve reached out again and wrapped his arm around her. She snuggled up against his chest, letting out a happy humming noise._

_Steve continued to rub her back as she nuzzled into his chest._

" _Steve." Her voice was hushed. He looked down, her face barely lit up by a stream of moonlight filtering through his bedroom window. Suddenly, she was pushing herself towards his face, lips locking with his. A quiet moan escaped her lips as Steve opted to participate, wrestling his tongue with hers. He swept his arms around her, grabbing onto her waist and pulling her somehow even closer._

_Her hips pressed against him as she gasped for a breath, running one of her hands through his hair._

_He whispered out her name as her lips nibbled on his ear. "Avery, we can't."_

" _It's okay, I want this..."_

Steve jolted awake, taking in a deep breath as his eyes opened. It was..a dream.

Just a dream.

He had really wished his guilty feelings would dissolve with the new day ahead of him but he groaned to himself as the opposite thing was happening. Just a stupid fucking dream.

He was left feeling even more guilty and betrayed by his own body when he realized what was happening between his thighs. He couldn't remember the last time he had woken up with a hard-on and the fact that it was a dream where he was comforting Avery that led it to happening made him feel like complete garbage.

Making the decision to _deal with it in the shower_ was another complicated problem altogether.

He went for a long run afterwards, followed by another shower when he didn't get off but instead tried to cleanse himself of the guilt. It worked enough to feel okay about accepting an invite over for dinner from Bucky, in lieu of their longstanding Saturday brunch and movie date.

It didn't bother him really, walking into Bucky's apartment Saturday evening and seeing Avery there, too. In fact, he assumed it was par for the course now. And he also knew Bucky well enough to know he wasn't letting Avery out of his sight until he could rationalize the break-in at her apartment.

"Hey Steve," Avery greeted him with a smile from Bucky's couch, holding up the biography she was still working her way through. She was tucked into the corner of the couch, wearing one of Bucky's t-shirts and a pair of leggings. "I'm up to the part where you're on tour punching out Hitler all the time. It's riveting."

"Wait until the part where he gets to fight the bad guys with his best pal Bucky Barnes," Bucky quipped from his spot at the kitchen island. He was working on chopping up some vegetables to roast as a side dish to whatever was frying on the stove.

"Smells good," Steve said to Bucky as he headed towards his side of the kitchen island, putting an arm over his shoulder and pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Need any help?" Steve rolled up the sleeves of his henley as he gazed around the kitchen.

Bucky smiled and shook his head, motioning towards the living room. "Nah. You can sit, relax."

"Shouldn't you be the one relaxing?" Steve smirked, raising an eyebrow. Bucky just motioned towards the couch again, tossing a dish towel over his shoulder, and Steve conceded, dropping down on the couch opposite Avery. She put the book down and rolled her eyes.

"I offered to cook but someone nearly doubled over with laughter at the suggestion." Avery shot a glance towards Bucky in the kitchen as he laughed again.

"You nearly sliced off your thumb trying to chop a carrot, doll," Bucky replied. "I'd like to actually eat dinner, not take you to get stitches."

"Whatever," she said, letting a warm laugh escape her lips. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a long breath. "Since you're both here, I wanted to ask. Do The Avengers get to take national holidays off work? In particular the 4th of July?"

"Stevie's birthday," Bucky jumped in, smiling as he looked at Steve.

"My dad's birthday, too," Avery glanced from Bucky back to Steve, moving to sit up on her knees and face him directly. "We do a big Independence Day celebration at our family lake house up near Boston and I thought it would be nice for you guys to come."

"You're inviting both of us?" Steve's eyes flicked over towards Bucky then to Avery.

"Yeah, of course. Sam, too, if he wants. I just don't know how it works with all of you and your work schedule or if there's emergencies or what the procedure is."

"Well, Captain America is the boss here," Bucky laughed, pointing at Steve.

Steve tilted his head and thought about it. It did seem like a nice option - a long weekend on a lake, forgetting about work and the real world for a few days. But it seemed pretty personal to be visiting Avery's family - like maybe it was something just Bucky should experience.

_Though she invited him._ And said Sam could go too..

"We could probably make it work," Steve concluded with a nod of his head. "I suppose we can consider it an on-call weekend."

Avery clapped her hands together excitedly. The Felix family 4th of July weekend was always one of her favourite times of year. It was just two days of sunshine, good food, celebrations and swimming in the lake. Last year had been a bit of a wash, considering it was her first time back in five years. _Or not..five years._ She had been a bit of a mess and considerably drunk the entire time. She was looking forward to enjoying herself with a clear mind this year. Plus, Nash would be back from training by then and the entire family could be together.

"I think you both deserve a vacation, even if just for a few days," Avery said as she fell back onto her corner of the couch, reaching to grab her phone. "I'll keep the Captain America thing a surprise though. My dad may have a heart attack when he meets you."

Steve smiled at her excitement, swallowing the lump in his throat again.

The trio enjoyed a dinner at Bucky's small dining table. Avery rambled on and on about the lakehouse and her family, while the boys listened and sat with their own thoughts.

Bucky had no idea what it meant to meet a girlfriend's family. Nor did he understand how to explain his past or current job. And Steve, well, he was already wrestling with _a lot_ of feelings. The prospect of spending a weekend away with Bucky and Avery seemed daunting. He prayed Sam would be available to go with them, too. He would be a perfect fourth wheel to distract him.

After dinner, Avery chose _The Wizard of Oz_ as the movie to watch. She leaned on Bucky as he occupied one end of the couch, kicking her legs out and laying them across Steve's lap at the other end. It was cozy and a perfect distraction for all three of them.

* * *

Monday was another quiet day in the office for Avery. She wasn't sure what had happened with Will but it seemed he had halted her participation in site visits. She was kind of annoyed about his lack of communication but considering what had happened when she did him that favour a few Fridays ago, she figured maybe he was keeping his distance for a reason.

She did like getting to chat with Heidi all day again.

Avery paused her data entry - _though the inventory report was riveting_ \- and turned to face Heidi, leaning her head on her hand as she was lost in thought.

"Can I ask you a weird question?" Avery looked across at Heidi, knowing her coworker was an open book and always willing to answer any weird question without warning.

"Shoot," Heidi replied, peeling her eyes away from her own screen and looking at Avery. Heidi leaned back in her chair and chewed on the end of a pen, tilting her head with curiosity.

Avery closed her eyes for a moment then asked. "Have you ever dated two people before?"

Heidi laughed in response, eyes going wide. "Wow. Didn't expect that." She contemplated her answer, running a hand through her long silver hair. "Sort of. I mean, I was seeing a girl and a guy separately. Neither knew about the other though. I sort of just wanted to see which one I really wanted."

"Huh." Avery chewed on her lip, giving Heidi an understanding nod.

Saturday night had been _strange._ But, at the same time, Avery felt completely at ease with both Steve and Bucky all night. She and Steve had both been affectionate towards Bucky in their own way yet they all had dinner together, all sort of cuddled on the couch together and laughed and talked all night. It was..nice.

It felt normal.

It felt..possible?

But it left Avery feeling _strange._

"Why do you ask?" Heidi narrowed her eyes as she tried to analyze Avery's face.

"Just..I don't know. I suppose I've been raised to understand one way of having a relationship with another person yet I'm learning there are…"

"Other options than just classic monogamy between a man and a woman?" Heidi finished her thought.

"Yeah. That kind of explains it. I mean, we're living in a pretty welcoming diverse world, I guess. Times are a lot different now than they were 75 years ago." Avery had to say that out loud to convince herself the idea swirling around her brain was okay. Not that she was bold enough to admit it but...there were other options.

Options.

Before their conversation could continue, Avery's desk phone started to ring. She glanced over and saw Will's extension on the caller ID. She answered right away, quickly agreeing to head down to Will's office to go over some site notes from a few weeks ago.

Avery sighed and headed downstairs, smoothing out her navy blazer and pulling her messy hair into a tight ponytail. She would have to over analyze her relationship options later. She had been in Will's office a few times, mainly to upload data files and photos. When she walked in this time, she was surprised to see Harry Osborn sitting on one of the chairs across from Will's desk, too.

Avery had figured out who he was after she had done that visit with Will. Harry Osborn had been snarky and revolting then and she was certain the first impression she got from him wasn't going to change. Even as she walked in, his eyes gazed up and down her body and she hated it.

"Sorry Avery, this actually isn't about a site visit," Will started, motioning for her to sit down in the chair beside Harry. "Harry? Go ahead."

"Uh, okay," Avery replied, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"We recently had a security concern at Oscorp," Harry started, turning towards Avery. He was dressed in a sharp grey suit with a skinny black tie. He was scrawny looking but somehow with his slicked back brown hair and half smile, Avery still found him intimidating. There was something about him that made her feel uncomfortable. "I was going over some footage from the awards gala a few weeks ago, you know, the one where my dad got his lifetime achievement award."

"Sure," Avery nodded along. She wasn't sure what she had to do with this.

Harry reached to grab a file that was sitting on the edge of Will's desk and opened it to reveal a stack of photos. "We were reviewing the footage from that night and noticed a few people who were added to the guestlist last minute. One of which took a big interest in me and Oscorp." Avery peered over and watched as he flipped through the photos. Her heart started to pick up when he showed her a photo of Sharon, talking with him at the table.

Then he flipped to another one. It was from a camera situated behind one of the bars and it captured the moment where Avery had approached Sam at the bar. Harry pointed down at the photo, narrowing his gaze at Sam. "Do you know who this guy is? He and another guy were there with the blonde."

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat and contemplated how she should answer. "Uhm."

"Because this seemed like a one off conversation but there's also footage of you talking to him outside the hotel." Harry flipped to another photo that showed only the faces of Sam and Avery, and the backs of Steve and Bucky. It was from their altercation outside, when Avery had stormed off angry about finding out who they really were. She was grateful Bucky and Steve's faces weren't visible in the photo.

Avery really didn't know what to say. She didn't think it appropriate to reveal that Sam was The Falcon. She wasn't sure what she could talk about at all when it came to what she knew about The Avengers.

"Avery," Will's voice pulled her attention back to the room. "Do you know who that is?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ahhhh sorry to leave ya'll on a bit of a cliffhanger here! It was either cut off the chapter now or keep going for another 5k. And well, some of you might not have minded that but I need to keep the next section together. Dating an Avenger is easy, right? YIKES.
> 
> Hooooo boy. I just wanna say *thank you* to everyone who is reading this story! Ya'll are just so wonderful and I'm grateful for all of you. I know I say it each update but every view, subscription, kudos and comment mean so much to me. I love all your thoughts and theories and your kind words really melt my heart. I am just so grateful to feel so welcome in this little section of the MCU. *hearts*
> 
> Now, a few story notes: here we gooooooooo. The calm before the storm of emotions. I think we are piecing this together but there is a small hill to get over before it really gets clear for these three. And uh, Avery may be a little wrapped up in some not-so-pleasant work things that she did not ask for. *shifty eyes at Will Simon*
> 
> Next up: Steve tries to escape his feelings, physically. Sure, running away seems like a good idea. And Avery might see a side of Bucky she doesn't know if she's ready for.


	14. Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: two people dealing with their feelings, naked. There is a hint of dom/sub roles.

Avery really didn't know what to say. She didn't think it appropriate to reveal that Sam was The Falcon. She wasn't sure what she could talk about at all when it came to what she knew about The Avengers.

"Avery," Will's voice pulled her attention back to the room. "Do you know who that is?"

She needed to think of something quickly. Lying seemed like the least complicated option.

"No, I don't," she said slowly, trying to force some sort of confidence into her tone. Her eyes flashed from the photos up towards Harry Osborn, who was narrowing his eyes at her.

"You're a bad liar, sweetheart," he replied, dropping the file folder down on Will's desk in front of them.

Avery just let out a long sigh. Okay, she needed to try harder. The energy she was getting from Harry was concerning - his presence left a very real tension in the room. As she glanced over at Will, even he seemed unsettled by the situation unfolding. It was clear to Avery this whole meeting had come up because of Harry.

Clearly she needed a better lie.

She took in a sharp breath and shifted towards Harry. "Fine. If you must know, I went on a handful of dates with that guy a few weeks ago and he ghosted me. I went outside with him afterwards hoping we could clear things up but I just got upset and stormed off. I don't know who his friends are but after that I had no interest in talking to any of them."

This time Harry just laughed. "Well, that makes sense then. You seem a touch erratic."

Avery gripped the edges of the chair and resisted the urge to snap at him.

Will sighed and shot Avery a sympathetic glance. "What's his name?"

"He told me his name was Grant," Avery said quickly. "Grant Smith." She figured an uncommon name with a common last name may help wrap up the conversation. "Mind you, he was pretty vague about most of his personal details so that may have been a lie."

Harry nodded at her, reaching to grab his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. "Well, that's enough of a lead to start with, I guess. Anything else you'd like to share?"

Avery rolled her eyes. "No. It was only a few dates, we didn't swap life stories." She was grateful when Harry stood up, indicating to Will he had to step out of the office to make a phone call.

As the door shut behind him, Avery shifted in her seat to stare at Will directly. "What the hell, Will? You don't talk to me for a few weeks then bring me in for this interaction? What's going on?"

"It's honestly none of your business, Avery," Will said simply, folding his hands onto the edge of his desk. He leaned forward and tilted his head. "I was wondering if you would be available to help me out again this Friday. Same site."

Avery raised an eyebrow as the question came out of his mouth. "Are you joking? You ran out of that site like a scared puppy when we were there before. I thought you told me to forget about it."

"Well, things change. I'll double the payment this time."

Avery shook her head again. This was starting to make less and less sense to her. All she did was type out notes for him - it was truly a luxury and probably not necessary for him all the time. The offer of cash was enticing but something about the entire conversation she had just been having did not feel right.

"Just think about it." Will's sentence seemed final as his eyes left Avery and glanced towards the door, as if to ask her to leave.

Avery sighed and stood up. She paused before turning and opened her mouth, then shut it quickly. It probably wasn't the right time to argue with Will about his choices. The last month or so working alongside him had been perfectly normal and in a very real way, she had enjoyed his company. But now, seeing him backpedal on what he had said before and press her about this situation, she was feeling disappointed and a bit lost. Without saying anything else she headed out of his office and swept past Harry in the hall, who was pacing around on his phone.

If this entire _meeting_ had taught her anything, it was that she really didn't want to work at this job much longer.

And, as she thought about the surveillance photos Harry had acquired, she was wondering if she should maybe tell Bucky and Steve about what was going on.

* * *

The follow up team debrief certainly went better on Monday. Wanda stood her ground and defended her position, but did lean into the fact that the entire mission was a bit too close to her emotions.

Bucky explained the last thing he and Sam wanted to do was break her trust.

Sam made an overarching promise that next time, the unanimous ruling would continue.

Wanda assured them both that she would be more honest about her emotions next time, too.

Steve was pleasantly surprised the interaction wrapped up so quickly. He almost felt like a proud dad listening to his kids resolve their own issues. It was comforting, in a strange way.

Though he was hoping their team squabble might occupy more of his time. After they wrapped up, Bucky followed Steve back into his office. Steve dropped down into his chair and glanced at a few folders on his desk while Bucky paced around. Eventually, he sat in one of the chairs across from Steve.

"What's up, Buck?" Steve's eyes darted from the paperwork in front of him across to his friend. There was a strange energy in the room and Steve was worried it was his fault. He was trying to be cool, calm and collected but he wasn't sure his ability to mask his feelings was working. Especially with Bucky.

"I feel like something is off about you this morning," Bucky said quietly. "Are you okay?"

Steve sighed then nodded. He felt uncomfortable being dishonest when Bucky could see right through him. But how was he supposed to just dive into what was really going on.

After hanging out with Avery and Bucky on Saturday night, somehow all nearly overlapping on Bucky's couch, Steve had another dream. This one had been worse than before - it wasn't sexual but it was _domestic._ In the dream, Steve was coming home from work to nearly exactly what he had walked into Saturday night - Bucky in the kitchen and Avery in the living room. But instead of just greeting Bucky, it was Avery who welcomed him home - to their home - with a kiss and snuggled up to him on the couch while Bucky finished cooking dinner.

It had been incredibly wholesome and somehow Steve woke up feeling more guilty than he had before.

"You didn't call me back last night," Bucky continued to press. As he waited to Steve's response, his eyes moved around the room. That's when he spotted the small hard case luggage in the corner. "Are you going somewhere?" Bucky's inquisitive tone was toeing the line between concern and irritation.

Steve pursed his lips and met Bucky's narrowed eyes again.

"Steve."

"I'm flying to Reykjavík tonight," Steve finally found the urge to respond. "I'm meeting Maria there for the World Security Council summit."

"You're suddenly going to Iceland?" Bucky asked incredulously. "Were you even going to tell me?"

"Of course," Steve's tone was defensive. "I figured we'd have lunch today and -

Bucky just shook his head. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm not sure what your issue is here, Buck," Steve finally looked away and tried to pretend that the paperwork on his desk was important. "It's just a five day work trip."

Bucky bit his tongue. Steve didn't do last minute work trips. Unless it was an emergency. Usually Maria Hill went internationally to represent the team on her own. Bucky drew out a long breath and leaned forward in his chair. "Stevie, I want you to be honest with me."

Usually when Bucky came back from a mission, especially one where he wasn't able to communicate with Steve back home, Steve was clingy. Bucky wasn't a psychologist but he figured it stemmed from making up for lost time. Like Steve had to overcompensate and spending extra time with Bucky _now_ assured them both they still always had each other. Steve didn't like going days without seeing him.

" _Honestly_ , I'm fine. You have Avery now, you'll hardly even notice I'm gone," Steve said quietly, silently thanking God that his phone had started to ring. "I've got to take this." His eyes flicked up towards Bucky for one more brief moment before grabbing the receiver on his phone.

Bucky just nodded and stood up slowly. He looked back at Steve again before leaving his office. Their conversation hadn't cleared up anything. In fact, Bucky was left feeling hurt. The distance Steve was placing between them was new and it made Bucky more anxious than he could have anticipated.

Steve was the person he could always count on but Bucky knew him well enough to understand that when something was bothering him, he would put a guard up. He knew Steve didn't like feeling vulnerable. It went against his core ideals and the image he portrayed. But he usually didn't hide that with Bucky.

' _You have Avery now, you'll hardly even notice I'm gone…'_

That didn't sit well with Bucky.

These complicated feelings were inevitable but Bucky was hoping to put them off a little longer. The more he sat and stewed with his thoughts, the more frustrated he grew.

The feelings he had for Avery were special. His heart pounded with a new intensity when he thought about her - her laugh, her smile, her annoying comments. Her understanding attitude, her kindness. The way she felt tucked in beside him at night. It filled his chest with a warmth he had only felt for Steve before.

But maybe balancing between the two was selfish.

Not that he could choose one or the other.

Steve had been so encouraging but maybe letting Bucky have what he wanted was going to be their downfall. That was the last thing Bucky wanted, though.

What did he want? Steve _and_ Avery. Wasn't that possible?

* * *

Bucky went for a long run around the training compound to try and clear his head. It didn't work.

When he got back, he hid out in the garage with Sam. He liked the opportunity to tinker with some of Tony's old car collection. Though he should have probably been focusing on finishing his reports, he wasted away his afternoon under the hood of an old roadster instead. Sometimes it was easy to turn off his mind, though it always felt like a risk.

By the end of the afternoon, Bucky was the only person left in the garage. He turned and pulled himself out of the car's engine when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see Steve standing a few feet away from him, leaning against the workbench. He had his luggage at his side and he was wearing his old brown leather jacket.

"Figured you'd already left," Bucky muttered out, wiping off his hands on the rag hanging out of his pocket.

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, Buck," Steve replied softly. He stayed leaning, crossing his arms over his chest.

Bucky's heart ached a bit, looking at him. He didn't like the awkward tension. He didn't like to fight with Steve. Not that they were _fighting_ but something was causing this uncomfortableness.

"Well, have a good trip," Bucky said, shifting the weight on his feet as he looked at Steve. "Are we okay, Stevie?"

Steve's shoulders fell at Bucky's question. He took a few steps forward and pulled Bucky into his arms, cradling the back of his head as they hugged. "Of course. I just..I need a bit of space."

Bucky sighed into his chest. The embrace felt so warm.

Steve felt so warm.

"Space..sure," Bucky repeated quietly as he pulled away. "Have a safe flight, punk."

Steve reached out and grabbed Bucky again, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Call me if you need me, jerk."

* * *

Avery was anxious to get home after work. In fact, after her _meeting_ with Will and Harry, she made the executive decision to leave early. It meant she got on an earlier train and beat most of the end of day traffic. She skipped stopping for flowers on her way home, instead just looking forward to hiding out for the night.

She messaged Bucky that she wanted to talk but didn't get a reply.

When she made it to the fifth floor, she was relieved to see a few maintenance men installing a new door in her unit. She forgot that it had been scheduled for the day and after getting a few instructions from them, being back in her apartment with the new safety precaution, she felt a bit better. She kept her anxieties at bay and took a silly selfie in front of the door, sending the picture to Steve with a thank you message for whatever friend he had talked to about this.

She didn't get a reply from him either.

Feeling a bit stumped and lost about what to do, Avery changed into a pair of leggings and a hoodie. She planted herself on her couch and opened her laptop, digging into job listing websites and even ventured as far as the Columbia University course listing.

Before Snap, having just finished off her biochemistry degree, Avery had applied to and gotten an acceptance letter to Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons. She had been scared to death at the prospect of going to medical school but at the time, it seemed like the best option. Maybe the only option. She enjoyed the idea of giving back to society, in a way. She was smart enough to get into Vagelos and with a lot of hard work and time, she could be a doctor.

Seth loved the idea. He thought they could be a power couple. He'd be a successful financial planner and she'd be a doctor. Avery was always doubtful of his support, considering he hardly showed it when she was struggling through her final school exams for her first degree.

Her parents, though, had been _so excited_. Her mom, especially, had always dreamed of working in medicine. Her career goals had taken a backseat as a stay-at-home mom though.

And now, Avery wondered if she could apply again. Did she even want that?

Admittedly, she had really enjoyed being in Bruce's lab the other day. The science and math part was okay - it was the hands on stuff she liked. She continued to daydream about her previous life for a bit longer, closing her laptop and leaning into her couch.

Her phone buzzed a few times on the coffee table.

Bucky: _hey just got home  
_ Bucky: _having a..what was that term you used  
_ Bucky: _bad brain day_

Avery bit her lip as she read over the messages. When she woke up in Bucky's bed that morning, he seemed okay. This was new territory for her. Bucky had supported her plenty over the last few weeks and while she wanted to spill all her anxious thoughts on him, and tell him about what was happening with Will and Harry Osborn, maybe it wasn't the time.

Should she go up there and see him? Did he want that? Would he send her away? She contemplated texting Steve for advice but decided against it. He hadn't replied to her earlier message anyway. She had to try and be present and confident in her own relationship.

Her phone buzzed again as she held it in her hand.

Bucky: _feel free to come up if you need to talk_

It was kind of like an invitation. She sat there and stared at the messages again and again. Trying to interpret what he was saying. He followed up again with his door code so she could invite herself in.

But did he want space? She supposed she could _ask_ but would that seem strangely desperate? She did want to see him. And she did want to make sure he was okay.

She took a deep breath and stood up. Worst case scenario, she makes sure he is okay then comes back downstairs.

After slipping on some sandals, she made her way up the two floors to his apartment. She knocked quickly then paused. He didn't come to the door.

She punched in the code and let herself in, instead. She took a few steps inside and could hear some noises coming from down the hall. It sounded like Bucky battling with his heavy punching bag, hard. The impact of his fists on the worn plastic were loud and she approached the room cautiously. Standing from the doorway, she could see his dark eyes narrowing in on the punching bag as he moved around it. He was dressed in a pair of dark sweatshirts and a tank top. His face was scruffy, having not shaved since being home and, overall, he looked tired.

Bucky's fists moved strategically as he bounced around, throwing a variety of punches as the bag swung. The chain above seemed to be working hard to stay attached to the ceiling. Avery considered it must have been installed especially for him, since there was no way her old drywalled ceiling could have supported something like that.

"Bucky?" Avery took a step into the room, raising her hand and waving it to try and get his attention. His eyes flicked over towards her for a brief moment then went back to the punching bag.

That wasn't much of a greeting.

She thought back to what Steve had said last week before Bucky came back: _Sometimes he just needs space when he comes back, sometimes he closes up for a few days, sometimes he breaks equipment in the gym._

Considering they had spent most of their weekend together, she thought maybe he had been okay. Not that he wasn't allowed to be dealing with things a few days later or that she couldn't handle it. It was just new and she wasn't sure what the right approach was. His lack of discussion made her think that maybe his invite had been an empty gesture and he needed some time alone.

She just turned around slowly and headed back towards the door.

"Wait!" She heard a loud grunt followed by the sound of the chain collapsing. The heavy bag hit the floor with a loud thump.

" _Shit."_

Avery went back towards the door frame and looked in again. Bucky was doubled over, hands on his knees out of breath. She watched as he dropped his training mitts to the ground and stood back up.

"What did that punching bag ever do to you?" Avery wasn't sure leading with a joke was the right move but she felt it was appropriate to test the waters. She felt a bit of relief when he saw one side of his mouth curl up into an _almost_ smile.

"Bad day?" Avery took a few steps in towards him.

He responded with just a shrug, folding his arms against his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Avery just nodded. She had gotten used to a comfortable, sort of talkative Bucky. The person she was talking to now seemed closed off, reserved. She couldn't fault him for it - there was no way she understood how his brain functioned after years of brainwashing.

Bucky took a few steps towards her, meeting her in the middle of the room. He stayed stiff but was fighting something in his mind. He wanted to be better than this. He wanted to open up and be honest and explain how he was feeling but he was really struggling.

He figured taking out his energy on the punching bag might help his anger - although he still wasn't sure what he was feeling. Was it anger? Irritation? Hurt? He just kept thinking about Steve.

" _I need a bit of space."_

"Hey.." Avery tentatively reached a hand out to touch his forearm. He relaxed at her touch.

"How was..how was your day?" Bucky figured that was the right thing to ask. Check in on his girlfriend's feelings too. She had texted him earlier wanting to talk.

He scanned her face - worry, apprehension.

"It was okay." Now it was her turn to shrug.

Bucky's eyes narrowed. "What did you want to talk about?"

She pulled her hand away from his arm. "Oh, that is not important right now."

"Avery."

"You don't want to talk about your thing. I don't want to talk about my thing. That's fair."

Bucky let out a huff. "Fair?"

Avery sighed. "Bucky, we don't have to do this. If you need some space -

He took in a sharp breath and cut her off. "No. No. I don't need space. That's not..that's not it."

He'd rather never hear the word _space_ ever again.

"I'm just..feeling out of control right now." Bucky took in another deep breath. "Please stay."

Avery took a step forward and closed in the space between them. She snaked her arms around his waist, causing him to move his arms off his chest and around her shoulders. The embrace was exactly what they each needed. She tilted her head to look up at him.

"What could help you find control again? Yoga or a shower or…" Avery trailed off and looked around the room. Bucky didn't respond, instead closing his eyes then leaning his head into her shoulder.

She felt for him, really. Considering her circling doubts about the safety of her job and her well being, plus the confusing feelings she was having about both Bucky and Steve, control of her life was out of her reach too. It felt like a turning point between letting go, throwing everyone to the wind and going with the flow. Or reigning in and taking action.

Control. It was about taking back control.

An idea popped into Avery's mind as she glanced around the room. Suddenly she was reminded of her first self-defence lesson with Bucky. About someone taking control. She also fondly remembered the jolt inside her when Bucky grabbed her hair…

"I missed you last week," Avery said, casting her eyes up at his.

"Missed you, doll," Bucky replied quietly. Avery started to move her hands up and down Bucky's back, feeling the sweat from his workout. Next, she moved them under his shirt, letting her fingernails rake against his skin.

"I _really_ missed you," she repeated just as quietly, tilting her head to press her lips against his neck. She kissed upwards towards his jaw and he moved so she could meet his lips. She bit at his bottom lip as she pulled away.

"I have an idea," she whispered out, closing her eyes. Her hands clamped onto his waist and she pulled herself even closer towards him. "A trial experience."

"You..in control," she said slowly. "Of me."

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he absorbed what she was saying. It became even clearer when her hands left his hips and started to rub against the front of his sweatpants.

_Oh._

_Control._

He didn't hate the idea. In fact, he had been really toeing the line when they had sex. He would push just a little harder or make things just _a bit_ more difficult for her. She had always seemed to enjoy it but he didn't know where to draw the line.

"I don't want to hurt you, Ave," Bucky moved a hand down to stop hers. Although it was working, considering how his body was reacting so _positively_ to her actions.

"You won't," she replied with confidence. "We can use a safe word or something if you're really concerned. But I trust you. I'm not asking you to tie me up-

She paused when his eyebrows raised and a smirk showed up on his face.

"Well, I guess that's a conversation for another time," Avery said with a laugh. "Just..be in charge. Tell me what to do, when to do it, how to.. I don't think it's unreasonable. I mean, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But I just...I think it could help? And I'm sure we'd both enjoy it."

She was looking forward to distracting herself from her thoughts for a bit of time. She figured he might want that, too.

"You have to tell me if you want me to stop at any point, Avery. Seriously." Bucky spoke slowly, putting his hands on her shoulders.

She nodded. "Of course."

He hesitated again as he looked at her.

"Is this really what you want to do?"

"Bucky," she resisted rolling her eyes. "I'm the one who suggested it, remember? Plus, if you want to be in control, I'm happy to relinquish mine." She smirked. "Consider this my consent."

Bucky nodded and let out a breath. Okay, what the hell. He figured they may as well give it a try. And hey, sex was a good distraction either way.

"Coconut." Avery pressed herself against him again. "That'll be the safe word." She looked up and saw something shift in Bucky. His eyes darkened just a bit but she didn't feel unsafe. She felt excited more than anything. A bit nervous but she had been honest: she trusted him and she hoped this could be _good_ for them both.

She pressed her hands onto his chest and moved her head to meet his lips when suddenly his right hand grabbed onto a handful of her hair, keeping her just far enough away that she couldn't kiss him. A coy smile appeared on her lips and just that one action was enough to start a fire between her legs. He tugged on her hair and a whimper escaped her lips.

"God, that's music to my ears." His voice was low as he released her hair. "Take off your sweater."

Avery reached down and pulled her hoodie upwards, revealing just a basic pink t-shirt bra. For some reason she wanted to cross her arms over her chest, suddenly a bit nervous.

Even though she'd been naked in front of him before - this felt different. But a good different.

Bucky's right hand reached out and softly grabbed her chin, tilting it up to look at him. She immediately felt better when she met his eyes - they felt safe, trustworthy. He moved in his head towards her and brushed his lips against hers. Soft.

"On your knees, doll."

Avery did as he instructed, almost grateful this was happening in his workout room for the sake of her kneecaps. The floor mats were a nice comfort. She sat back on her heels and looked up towards him.

"Hands behind your back." Bucky's right hand reached out and pushed her hair back off her face, then cradled her cheek. She smiled up at him excitedly and he reached his thumb to brush over her lips. Before she could say anything he pushed his thumb into her mouth. "God, you're a beautiful sight, Avery."

She closed her mouth around his thumb and Bucky swore out loud.

Avery's hands moved from behind her back and reached for his waistband. Bucky's left arm was quick to stop her, metal hand clamping around her right wrist. "I said behind your back, doll." His tone was stern and a bit louder than before. As he unreleased her wrist she moved her hands back to where they were and swallowed hard. Bucky's thumb left her mouth and he immediately brought it to his own mouth, sucking it for a moment like she had.

Avery wasn't sure why that single action turned her on so much but she let out another whimper as she watched him. She shuffled slightly, creating some friction between her legs so she could _feel something._

Bucky chuckled as he watched her, bringing his hands to his waistband himself. She bit her lip, hard, as he took off his sweatpants and boxer briefs together.

Avery was constantly distracted by Bucky's upper body. But his lower half was just as impressive. His legs were incredibly built, all the muscles from his calves to his thighs sculpted like his torso. Avery had no idea how much of this was natural or how much was helped by the serum, but God was he blessed.

Blessed, truly. Despite how it felt inside her, seeing _him_ hard as a rock in front of her eyes was overwhelming.

As far as dicks went, it was definitely the most impressive one she had ever seen.

Again, she couldn't help but wonder how much of that was a gift from God and how much was thanks to the serum. She figured it wasn't the time to ask.

She watched as Bucky gripped his length with his right hand, stoking up and down a few times as if he was just desperate for any touch.

"Open, babydoll," Bucky whispered, his voice gravelly. She did just as he said and suddenly he was leading himself into her mouth.

This was definitely something she hadn't done in a long time, especially without using her hands for assistance. So she moved them again, bringing her right hand up to stroke him at the base of his cock. He didn't tell her to move them this time so she figured it was okay.

"Jesus, Avery," Bucky stammered out, running the fingers of his right hand through her hair.

She paused and pulled away. "Sorry, I'm out of practice."

"Did I say you could stop?" Bucky looked down and met her eyes. He was smiling playfully. "You're doing just fine, doll. Continue." A series of swear words escaped his lips next, as her tongue worked along his shaft up to the tip.

If this was her out of practice, he could only imagine how much better things could be, if at all.

His right hand went back to her head, holding steady as he pushed himself further into her mouth. He could feel a moan release then a small whimper as he hit the back of her throat. He looked down and met her eyes, full of lust. "You're doing so good, Avery baby." The encouragement made her eyes sparkle even more as she moved. Bucky gripped the back of her head then moved her other hand, thrusting to drive his cock in and out of his mouth.

The sounds of him grunting and her wet mouth echoed through his room. His eyes went wide as he glanced across the room and realized he was grossly underutilizing the mirrors. He pulled himself out of Avery's mouth with a pop.

"Stand up, doll," Bucky said, offering his hand to assist her. She ran a hand through her hair and pushed it to the side, blushing as Bucky just stared at her. He reached his hand around her back and quickly unhooked her bra, tugging it off and dropping it on the ground.

She wasn't sure why standing in front of him in just leggings made her feel so exposed. He grabbed her chin and leaned down to kiss her lips. "You okay?"

She nodded and returned a playful smile. Bucky smirked and moved his right hand to her shoulder, spinning her body around so her back was flush against his chest. His right hand moved up to grip her neck gently, holding her in place against him.

She took in a sharp breath as his cold metal hand started to trail down her body. He took his time, grabbing at her breasts and circling her nipples. It was incredibly stimulating and Avery was sure she was dripping between her legs already.

"Eyes open.." Bucky whispered into her ear, adjusting his grasp slightly so her head could look into the mirror across from them.

Avery felt a bit overwhelmed seeing herself in the mirror, but when she met eyes with Bucky and could see his wanting and desire - feelings that were radiating through her too, she felt much more comfortable.

"You're beautiful, Avery." His breath was hot in her ear. She gasped as his hand trailed even further down her body, grazing over the front of her leggings. He pressed gently just over her center, causing her to tense her legs at his touch. "Relax, doll. Look how excited you are.."

Avery let out a quiet laugh at his commentary. She was more than aware of how _excited_ she was. Just knowing Bucky wanted her was enough to get her going but _this,_ all of this, was more than she anticipated.

His hand quickly moved underneath the waistband of her leggings and snuck it's way down and this time it was his turn to laugh. "No underwear?"

"I go for full comfort when I'm at home," she breathed out as his fingers hovered just outside of her center. She didn't know why but the anticipation of his metal hand working her was getting her more and more excited.

"Works for me," he replied, slowly moving one of his fingers up and down her slit. A loud whimper escaped her. "Do you like this?"

"More," she murmured, pressing her body forward to try and meet his hand.

"It would be nice of you to ask for what you want, doll," he said sternly.

"Please.."

"Ask."

"Please, Bucky, would you touch me?"

"I am touching you." His right hand, still gripping the base of her neck tightened for just a moment.

She let out a frustrated huff. This is what she suggested so she should have anticipated he was going to be difficult. Was he really going to make her say it?

"Ask for exactly what you want," he said softly, running his tongue against her ear. Good thing he was holding her up because she nearly collapsed at the feeling.

"Bucky," she pleaded, breathless. "Would you please.. Touch me..make me shake. Here." She moved her hand to press against his, applying friction to her heat.

He decided that was good enough, not wanting to make her feel more uncomfortable than she was. He'd work her up to it in the future. He moved his mouth to clamp a bite onto her shoulder, sloppy and wet. At the same time, his fingers dipped into her. It was easy, slick. She was very prepared.

As his digits moved rapidly against her clit, she whimpered out his name. Her head pressed against him and her left hand moved up to grasp onto his hair. Her right hand gripped his right thigh, steadying herself as he worked. He played her like he was conducting a symphony - there was no certain rhythm but it moved through her like electricity. Her breath picked up as his left hand started to..vibrate.

Of course his _robotic fucking arm_ could vibrate. And of course he was using _this_ opportunity to tease her with it.

"Oh fuck." Avery's eyes opened wide and she met Bucky's gaze in the mirror. His classic smug smirk was flashed across his jaw and she nearly burst out laughing herself.

"Just a party trick I wanted to test out.." Bucky breathed into her ear. "Unless you don't like it.

"Don't stop, please. Fuck." She could feel her climax approaching.

"Don't you dare come without asking, doll," he hissed into her ear, biting onto her earlobe aftwards. His mouth trailed downwards, leaving sloppy kisses against her shoulder.

"I'm so close Bucky, please.."

"Not yet." Bucky pulled his hand away as she pleaded, moving back up to the waistband of her leggings. She groaned, loudly as he did. "Off." He released the hand on her neck, too and she was free to quickly remove her leggings. He turned her and led her back against the far wall, pressing her against it. He met her lips and massaged his tongue against hers, moaning into her mouth.

His left hand returned to between her thighs soon enough. This time his thumb swirled against her clit first, then she felt two of his fingers dip into her. He worked fast and soon enough, she was close again. She wanted to come, she _needed_ to come. She started to clench around him and he nipped at her jaw.

"Can I please come, Bucky?" Her question came out barely audibly, eyes squeezed shut.

"So polite," he murmured in response, increasing the pace of his hand. "Let go, baby. I want to feel you.."

She came as if on command, tensing her core as both her legs quivered. If he wasn't pressed so closely to her, she may have collapsed down the wall. Bucky's thumb remained on her clit, moving every so slowly as she came down from her high. She continued to pulse every few seconds, as he applied just enough pressure.

"Okay," she breathed out, taking a deep breath and clasping her hand onto his to stop him. "Okay."

"Avery, baby, we aren't done yet," he growled out, kissing her lips once more. His hands moved quickly and snaked around her back, meeting just behind her ass. He encouraged her to jump and she was suddenly being carried, just like that first time. Still catching her breath, she leaned into his shoulder for a few seconds as they went to his bedroom.

He dropped her down on the bed and tore off his shirt. "Hands and knees, babydoll."

She complied, moving slightly up the bed then getting into his requested position. She felt the bed shift as he joined her on the bed, lining himself up behind her. She felt his hand make contact with her ass, one cheek at a time. It wasn't painful but it stung, in a good way. She imagined he was containing his strength, which she could argue was good for his self-control. Part of her wanted him to try spanking her with his metal hand instead but she didn't want to push it.

Not this time.

"Collapse your arms," Bucky commanded as he lined up behind her. He moved his length against her slit, teasing. She buckled her arms and leaned her cheek onto the pillow, leaving her lower half on display for him.

Soon enough, he was buried inside her. A guttural groan sounded out from his throat and he gripped her hips hard as he started to move in and out. Again, there was no pattern to his movements. Just as he got into a hard pounding rhythm, he slowed his pace and moved slowly out of her, only to slam back in hard again. She clenched every time, moaning into the pillow.

"C'mere." He snaked his left arm around her waist and pulled her upwards, so she was flush against him again. His hand grabbed at her breasts again, a tight grasp that she was hoping would leave some sort of mark.

She loved the idea of him leaving a trace on her. Something she could see later to remind her of him.

"Avery, baby, you're incredible," he was practically growling in her ear as he was getting closer and closer to his own climax. "My girl..feels so good inside you."

Avery whimpered at his voice, singing praises into her ear. She was going to come again just because of that. As if he could read her mind, with one hand steady across her shoulders, the other found her clit again. He demanded another climax out of her, his breath hot in her ear. She obliged almost immediately.

He could listen to her moaning forever.

"Come inside me, please Bucky. Please. I need you."

He couldn't argue with that. He needed her, too.

He needed this.

This had been the perfect release.

His pace quickened once more and he pressed her back down onto the mattress again.

Avery clutched onto the sheets of his bed as he slammed into her, a series of uncontrollable screams delivered into the pillow.

His hands dug into the flesh of her hips as he came, spilling into her. "Fuuuuuck."

Avery laid there in a daze after Bucky slipped out of her, letting her body fall flat on the bed. She didn't hear him leave the room, though she relaxed when she felt him return to the bed, using a warm washcloth to clean her up. He pressed a trail of kisses up her back as he climbed up the bed, planting his lips on her forehead before laying down on his side to face her.

"Ave, you okay?"

"Yes, very okay," she said quietly, eyes closed. "Just overwhelmed with stimulation. Probably should have eaten something before all that." She flipped over onto her back and laid her arm across her eyes. "I'm a bit lightheaded."

Bucky's eyes narrowed with concern. "One sec." He pulled himself off the bed and hurried to his kitchen. He filled a glass with water and grabbed a protein bar from his cupboard.

"As good as it feels to know I fucked you that good, we can't have you passin' out."

Avery sat up on the bed and pulled his comforter over her body, then took the water and protein bar from him before. "No one has ever brought me a snack after sex before." She tore open the wrapper and took a bite, chewing slowly before she grimaced. "This snack tastes terrible."

Bucky couldn't help but laugh as he sat beside her on the bed. "Steve likes that brand - no added sugar or gluten or dairy or -

"Flavour," Avery finished for him, swallowing the bite in her mouth. "Thank you."

"You sure you're okay?" Bucky shifted to look at her, brushing a strand of hair up past her ear. "I didn't hurt you?"

"I mean, I may be sore tomorrow but I'm not _hurt_. Really, Buck, I'm okay. In case it wasn't clear, I was enjoying myself."

Bucky smirked, tilting his head to the side. "Me too. I think that's exactly what I needed."

He was telling the truth. It was hard to describe but for some reason, being in charge of something - _someone_ \- seemed to help bring a sense of order to his mind. It was a reminder that he couldn't control a lot of things, especially deep, dark parts of his brain, but he should take the opportunity to control _some_ things. The fact that it involved Avery and giving her and himself both pleasure was the best part of it.

Avery choked down another bite of the protein bar then moved to stand up off the bed. The lightheaded feeling was gone, thankfully.

"I'm just gonna go grab a shower and change," she said as she walked around the bed, pausing to remember where her clothes ended up.

"I have a shower. And clothes."

"I need pants, Bucky."

"You don't _need_ pants."

She just rolled her eyes and paused to kiss him. "I'll be back shortly."

Bucky pouted for a brief second then sighed. "Fine. How do you feel about grilled cheese?"

* * *

Avery had every intention of sleeping in her own apartment Monday evening. It had been nearly a week since she'd been in her own bed but for some reason, she didn't want to leave Bucky alone. While their sexual activists had warmed his mood, she was still cautious about what was bothering him. She didn't want to press - he'd bring it up if he wanted to, of course.

But she was curious.

After a gourmet meal of grilled cheese and a side spinach salad, they spent most of their night silent, sitting side by side on the couch. Avery continued reading Steve's biography and Bucky kept his eyes glued to an old Sherlock Holmes book. It was calm.

By the time she started to yawn, it didn't take much convincing from Bucky for her to crawl into her with him instead of making the laborious journey downstairs.

It was in the darkness that Bucky finally started to talk. He was laying flat on his back. Avery was beside him, laying on her stomach, hands nestled under her pillow.

"Steve left," Bucky said, turning his head towards Avery. "On a work trip."

She didn't reply. His voice had come out of nowhere as she was falling asleep. She shifted to rest on her side, facing him.

"Last minute," Bucky continued.

"Is that unusual?" Avery asked, trying to read the features of Bucky's face in the near darkness. She reached her hand out to rest on top of his, folded on his chest.

"He likes to plan, be prepared," he said quietly. "I dunno. Something feels weird." He sighed. "I feel weird when he's gone."

Avery bit her lip and just nodded. She understood the relationship Steve and Bucky had was special. No, special seemed too simple a word.

It spanned decades of hardship and loss and doubt. It was layered and complicated.

It was _love_. That was more than clear to Avery. It was like Steve and Bucky were tethered to each other, in some prophetic way.

Bucky's distraught mood earlier suddenly could be explained by feeling hurt or even abandoned with Steve leaving so suddenly. She remembered the strange empty feeling that waved over her when Bucky was gone last week - especially when she was worried or scared. It was difficult to deal with and luckily Steve had been a distraction for her.

She supposed now it was her turn to try and be a distraction for Bucky. Sure, it wasn't really the same situation. But at least she could be _present_ \- even if that just meant enjoying each other's company quietly.

"When does he come back?" Avery asked, squeezing onto his hand.

"Saturday, I think." Bucky let out a long exhale. "I'm sorry, Ave."

"Sorry for what?"

"Dunno. Just feels like you deserve an apology."

Avery shifted over and nuzzled up beside him, unsure how to respond.

She could only guess what he _wasn't saying._

It was strange. Earlier Avery had made an offhand comment about she and Bucky making plans with Steve later in the week or what they should plan for dinner when they watched Survivor on Thursday. Bucky hadn't mentioned Steve's absence then.

Avery had been looking forward to hanging out with both her boys again.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt Bucky press a kiss to the top of her head.

Her boys.

They weren't her boys. Her earlier conversation with Heidi returned with full force but she dismissed the thoughts to the back of her head.

They weren't her boys.

* * *

Tuesday came and went fairly normally. After spending his day out at the training compound with Sam, thoroughly distracting himself with research and fitness training, Bucky returned to Brooklyn.

He and Avery had dinner with Beatrice - which wound up being a wonderfully pleasant evening. The older woman filled them in on her trip to Atlantic city over lasagna and somehow they found themselves playing cards until late into the evening.

On Wednesday, Bucky stayed in the city. Stark Industries was having a press conference that morning and Happy often asked for extra _security_ on hand, just in case. This usually meant at least Bucky and Sam, plus some additional agents as required, wearing casual clothes and hidden comms, strategically placed in the crowd or around the room in the event of an emergency.

After that finished, with no threat or issue, Sam and Bucky grabbed lunch then headed back. Back downstairs, as Bucky was heading off to find Bruce, Sharon stopped him outside the boardroom.

"Hey, do you have a few minutes? I just got some info back on that weird business card Steve found at Avery's."

Bucky nodded. "Great, yeah. I have time." Sharon motioned for him to follow her into a nearby workroom and she dropped a file folder onto the table.

"It wasn't easy but we tracked down everything we could."

Bucky flipped the file folder open and started to scan over the paperwork inside.

"So S.H.O.T is registered with a business license in the state of New Jersey, not New York. And they're also registered in South America." Sharon paused and reached for a piece of paper in the file. "Honestly, I'll never understand the dramatic acronyms. But…"

Bucky's eyes followed her hand as she pointed to the registered business name. "Simon Haskell Osborn Technology."

"The legal docs have a lot of stuff protected but it lists…" she trailed off once more and landed on the info she needed. "Elizabeth Haskell. Her family owns and operates Haskell Concrete & Materials. We're familiar with the Osborn family, already. This connects Norman Osborn as a partner. And Johnathon Simon, who is the founder of -

Bucky huffed and finished her sentence. "Simonarc Construction." He swore under his breath. "That's where Avery works."

Sharon's face twisted with concern for a brief moment. "I'm not sure what all this adds up to but it's suspicious. We're still watching Oscorp but I will admit I'm curious to why Avery could be connected to any of this."

Bucky continued to look over the file in front of him as Sharon talked.

"She doesn't talk about work much," Bucky mumbled out. "She works closely with some guy named Will, that's all I remember."

Sharon just nodded, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "Will Simon, maybe. He's the prodigal son." She flipped to a spec sheet on Simonarc Construction, which listed Will as a senior Vice President and on the company's board of directors.

"We can really only speculate as of right now. But it may be worth starting a conversation with her."

"Thanks for all this, Sharon."

Sharon gave his shoulder a squeeze as she left him in the room with the growing file folder.

Bucky was grateful for the information and was dying to talk to Steve about it. Then he had to remind himself Steve was across the globe and let out a long breath. He fished his phone from the pocket of his jeans and sent a message to Avery.

Bucky: _hey you working late tonight?  
_ Bucky: _wanna meet for dinner?  
_ Avery: _hi :)  
_ Avery: _I'm actually meeting my cousin for a drink after work! she was just in town for an interview  
_ Avery: _she's taking a late train home tonight  
_ Avery: _you're welcome to join us. I'll send you the address.  
_ Avery: _and no, you won't be intruding lol this is me inviting you_

Avery smiled into her phone as she glanced at her exchange with Bucky. After Monday night, things between them seemed to be really working. She wasn't sure if it was intentional, but avoiding bringing Steve into the conversation seemed to keep Bucky's worries at bay.

For Avery, it wasn't easy not thinking about Steve though. She resisted messaging him, even though she wanted to check in. Clearly something was going on, whether it was just about Steve or had something to do with Bucky, and she understood it wasn't her responsibility to involve herself, she still felt like she _was_ involved.

In fact, she didn't want to admit it out loud, she worried about their rift or distance or _whatever_ was happening because of her. She remembered the apprehension that washed over her before diving into this relationship with Bucky. It wasn't hard to find a reason to have doubts.

Steve and Bucky had years of history. She truly didn't want to get in the way of that.

With Steve off on a trip, arguably it was really easy to be girlfriend and boyfriend. Which explained why she was nervous and excited to introduce Bucky to her cousin Kasey.

It dawned on her that Bucky hadn't met any of her family but he was going to have to meet them _all_ on the 4th of July weekend. At least meeting a cousin beforehand was sort of like easing him into it.

After work, Avery swapped her blazer and flats for her leather jacket and a short pair of heeled boots. She hopped on the subway and made her way towards Grand Central Station to meet up with Kasey at a wine bar.

Her cousin Kasey was probably her closest friend and relative outside of her immediate family. They were only a year apart in age and growing up often attended the same summer camps together. Avery couldn't contain her excitement about the prospect of her cousin moving back to the city. Without having Crystal in her life, Avery really missed having a close girl best friend.

She found Kasey sitting in a booth in the front of the restaurant, gazing out the windows at the busy street. The two girls quickly embraced and Avery slid across from her, a large smile on her face.

"So, how did the interview go?" Avery scanned her eyes over the expansive wine menu then met her cousin's excited gaze. Kasey was in the city for a job interview - well, a career interview really. She was a talented pianist and had been given the opportunity to meet with the team of professors at the Manhattan School of Music.

"I think it went well," Kasey replied, running a hand through her auburn locks. "I'm not sure they're crazy about my look but hopefully my talent speaks for itself." An amused laugh left her lips with a shrug, rotating her arm towards her cousin. Her arm was decorated with a sleeve of colourful tattoos, which perfectly matched Kasey's rough-around-the-edges vibe. Her hair was cut in a sleek angled bob and she managed to pull off any outfit, but preferred an all black get-up usually.

The two carried on their conversation, lost in catching up with each other. Avery's phone buzzed a little while later with a message from Bucky saying he was on his way.

"I hope you don't mind I invited Bucky," Avery said behind her wine glass, a nervous look on her face. "I just really want you to meet him."

_And I really want you to like him._

"Oh god, of course not, Ave. Look, he's not Seth so I already think he's great," Kasey replied with a smirk, sipping her merlot. "Does he make you happy?"

Avery just nodded, nervous playing with the hair draped over her shoulder.

"Then that's all that matters, babe." Kasey lifted her glass to celebrate. "Wait. Is he good in bed?"

Avery pursed her lips together for a moment, holding back her smile. Then she nodded _again,_ eyes wide.

"Okay, _that_ matters, too. I'm happy for you!"

A few moments later, Avery spotted Bucky walking towards them. He smiled when he met her eyes, then slid in beside her at the table. "I feel a bit underdressed," he revealed nervously, looking down at his leather jacket and henley.

"Everyone else in Manhattan is just always overdressed," Kasey chimed in, extending her hand out. "I'm Kasey."

Bucky just laughed and Avery could tell he was slightly more at east. He introduced himself then leaned over and kissed Avery's cheek. She blushed and glanced across at her cousin who was holding up one of the menus to block half her face.

' _Oh my god,'_ Kasey mouthed at Avery. ' _Hot. So hot.'_

Avery stifled a laugh and held up her hand, as if to get her to stop. Bucky was quiet to open up but eventually, probably due to Kasey's looming presence and persistence, they were all talking like old friends. It was another welcome distraction for both of them.

"Why do you bring up the frog story every time, Kase?" Avery hid behind her hands as Kasey told Bucky some embellished childhood tale about Avery kissing a frog down at the beach, then crying when it swam away from her.

"It's a cute story," Bucky said to Avery with a smile, reaching under the table to squeeze her knee.

Eventually Kasey gathered her coat and stood up, ready to head towards the train station.

"Do you want us to walk you over there?" Bucky asked, looking to Kasey then back to the door.

"What a gentleman," Kasey commented, raising an eyebrow at Avery. "Thank you but no, I'll be okay. I'll see you two in a couple weeks at the lake?" Avery nodded and waved a goodbye as her cousin left the bar. She let out a happy sigh and leaned her head onto Bucky's shoulder.

"I like her," Bucky said, reaching for his glass of water on the table. "She's funny."

"Do you like her or do you like how she told you all those ridiculous stories about me?"

"I think it can be both of those things, doll." Bucky led her out of the restaurant after Avery finished up her last glass of wine. They headed in the direction of the subway station, hand in hand. It was a calm Wednesday evening and despite the mostly empty subway car, Avery stood tucked under Bucky's arm as they stood in the back.

"I want to set up Kasey and Sam," Avery said, turning her face to look towards Bucky. He responded with just a hearty laugh, rolling his eyes.

"Why is that?"

"Don't you think they'd get along?"

"I think your cousin can do better than Wilson," Bucky responded, smirking. He then tilted his head to the side to think. "Well, actually. Maybe they would work well together. If she could put up with all his shit."

Avery laughed and leaned back in towards him.

It was on their way back to the apartment building that Bucky finally, sort of, mustered enough courage to ask Avery about what she did at work. He had spent most of his afternoon pouring over the file from Sharon about S.H.O.T and while he was left with a lot of unanswered questions, it was enough information to let a sense of concern wash over him in regards to Avery's safety.

It was important to him to figure out why these people had sent someone to break into her apartment. But he knew he couldn't lead like that. And he definitely wasn't going to bring it up while they had been out with her cousin.

"So, how was your work day?" Bucky started off slowly as they walked into Avery's apartment. She flicked on the kitchen lights as she shrugged off her coat, stretching out her arms above her head. She dropped her heels on the small shoe rack behind the door and shrugged.

"It was fine, I guess. I've been cooped up in the office again. I had been going on a lot of site visits with Will but that's kind of stopped for right now." She grabbed his hand and headed towards her couch. They both sat. Well, Avery rested her head on his lap and stretched out.

"How come they've stopped?"

Avery let out a breath. She was going to make up some strange elaborate story about work but stopped herself. If she couldn't be honest with Bucky about the things that were concerning her life, what was the point?

"Actually, there's something I wanted to tell you about. That happened at work the other day." She pulled herself up off his lap and shifted to face him, sitting on her knees. "Do you know who Harry Osborn is?"

Bucky was slow to answer. "I am familiar with the Osborn family, yeah."

She took a deep breath then told Bucky what had happened in Will's office Monday afternoon. She watched him closely as she explained what had happened, including the lie about having dated Sam and the uncomfortable energy Harry was giving off. He was quiet when she was done talking.

This was her biggest issue with Bucky - he was hard to read sometimes, like his face was made out of stone. It irritated her a lot, actually.

"Why didn't you tell me about this already?" He shook his head, shooting her a sideways glance.

"I didn't want to bother you with this when you were already having a bad day," Avery answered honestly, tangling her hands in her lap. "I think my lie covered it up enough."

"It's not about lying or covering it up, Avery." Bucky's tone was more tense than she wanted. He shook his head as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"What's the issue, Buck?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

The issue was he didn't trust these people Avery was working with. He especially had no belief that Harry Osborn was a good person. But as much as he wanted to explain all that, he was worried it would quickly escalate into anger. He didn't want her to feel like she was in any kind of danger. Because he had no way of knowing she was, really.

But something about this entire situation was beginning to feel more and more unsettling.

"It's nothing," Bucky shifted and grabbed her hand. "I just wish you had already told me. We're in the middle of doing some research about Oscorp right now and knowing he had his eyes on Sharon and Sam at the event isn't a great sign." He raised her hand upwards and he pressed a kiss against her knuckles. "Also, please promise me you won't ever be in a room alone with Harry Osborn. I don't trust that guy."

"Yes, that's an easy promise. Dude gives me the creeps." Avery let a small smile crawl across her face. She was beginning to think she should tell Bucky about that site visit out in Queens, too.

Suddenly, he tugged on her hand to pull her in close to his side. His right arm wrapped around her and squeezed her tight. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head and she relaxed into him.

Maybe the site visit could be a conversation for another day. For the time being, she really liked being tucked into his side. The warmth radiating off him mimicked what she was feeling in her chest. Burst after burst of good, indescribable energy.

She could feel a gentle hum vibrating through Bucky's chest. He seemed happy.

Or at least very distracted.

Avery sighed to herself. They had gone the whole night without bringing up Steve for the first time that week. She felt kind of sad about that.

She wanted to ask Bucky how he was feeling, if he missed Steve.

Because for some reason, as they sat together on her couch, it felt like Steve _was_ missing. Like he should be lazing against them, too. She nearly opened her mouth to say something but couldn't find the right words.

So, Avery didn't say anything. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the hum of Bucky's heart instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welllllllll, this was A LOT. let me just say, this chapter didn't entirely go how I wanted it to *but* it got where I needed it to, instead. I guess that's what happens when you let … sex act as a distraction for dealing with your feelings?
> 
> I just want to point out two things. 1. I am not a writer of smut by trade. I always feel a bit awkward writing out sex scenes! So hopefully it was...okay. 2. I want it to come across that these intimate moments between Bucky and Avery (and, well, maybe Steve too eventually *WINK*) are happening for a purpose. Whether that is to build trust or to explore or help each other, in an emotional way. I think intimacy is SO so SO important in a relationship and figuring out what works and maybe what doesn't work takes time.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this story. I'm so glad to have you here and everyones presence makes all the difference. I am grateful for every view, subscription, kudos, bookmark and comment!! I truly appreciate the support and all your comments. I love hearing your thoughts and feelings. God knows, I have a lot about these idiots.
> 
> Next up: Avery gets deeper into Steve's biography and..needs to talk. Plus..a sex dream? Things are coming to a head, people.


	15. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: a fairly low detail sex dream but a sex dream nonetheless. oh and FEELINGS.

Bucky spent most of the week trying to keep his thoughts about Steve at bay. Luckily, between working through a few research cases and digging into everything related to S.H.O.T it wasn't hard to stay occupied. He spent his evenings with Avery and she was plenty distracting.

But, by the time Saturday rolled around, he was feeling antsy. Aside from work related missions, Bucky and Steve didn't often spend more than a few days apart. Bucky couldn't exactly describe it, but being apart from Steve left a strange longing in his heart. He worried, sometimes unconsciously, about Steve. Where he was. What he was doing. If he was mouthing off to someone or chuckling at a bad joke some important diplomat was telling.

The most unusual part of this trip was Steve's lack of communication. Iceland was only four hours ahead. And sure, Steve was there for work related things so they didn't need to talk all the time. But aside from a few messages, it has been nearly radio silence. He let Bucky know when he landed back in the city but offered no follow up.

And when Steve said he was occupied Sunday evening and not available to have dinner with Bucky, that tipped Bucky over the edge.

Bucky: _come over around six, I'm making pot pie  
_ Bucky: _with chicken because I know you're particular  
_ Steve: _will Avery be there?  
_ Bucky: _Yeah...  
_ Bucky: _Is that a problem  
_ Steve: _no. I actually have some reporting I want to finish up tonight. let's rain check._

Now, he wasn't just annoyed and confused. He was downright angry that Steve was giving him the cold shoulder. They hadn't seen each other in nearly a week now. _A week_.

It was hard enough to try and understand why Steve was pulling away. In fact, it was making a real mess of Bucky's emotions. He knew what he was feeling Monday morning as he drove out to the training facility: anger.

He was angry Steve was being dishonest about something.

He was angry Steve was secretly harbouring a resentment for Avery.

He was angry Steve had gone away for a week, leaving Bucky behind.

That was hard for Bucky to swallow but he couldn't help thinking about it. He didn't want a life without Steve and this wrinkle between them, he didn't want it to shift into something more. Was Bucky just being selfish? Was he putting his feelings before Steve? It was never his intention. But wasn't he allowed to try and feel happy? Happy and satisfied and fulfilled? He _was_ those things with Steve. But with Avery, it was something even more.

Bucky gripped the steering wheel of the SUV as he headed out to the training compound. Usually Steve didn't start his weeks out there. Bucky assumed he wanted to avoid talking. But he had other plans.

He pulled the vehicle into the garage and grunted a hello to Sam, who was gearing up for some practice work outside.

Bucky stomped through the halls of the facility, poking his head in and out of rooms on the hunt for Steve. He ran a hand through his hair, pausing to take a few deep breaths as he stopped in the stairwell. A memory of Avery laying in bed beside him the night before crossed his mind. The thought of her laughter and smile and signature eye roll made him smile and grounded him for a moment.

Angry didn't have to mean reactive.

He could have a conversation with Steve. They were both rational adults.

Steve's office door was open and Bucky approached slowly, hovering outside the door frame.

"Hey, I didn't expect you out here today," Steve said when he saw Bucky at the door. An awkward smile crossed his face.

"Busy?" Bucky asked.

Steve narrowed his eyes for a moment but didn't reply.

"Gym?" Bucky flicked his head down the hall. "Boxing ring."

"I'm sure there's some helpless agent you can spar with," Steve said slowly. "I've gotta -

"Let's go." Bucky crossed his arms. "I bet sitting around that conference last week interrupted your fitness routine. C'mon."

Bucky's words were pointed and final as he headed downstairs to change. Soon enough, he had swapped his jeans for shorts and was strapping his hands with tape before pulling on a pair of sparring gloves. In the lower level of the main training rooms was a boxing ring. The whole space was clear of anyone else and Bucky appreciated the silence to collect his thoughts.

"What's going on, Buck?" Steve's voice sounded from the side of the ring. He had trailed down after Bucky but hadn't changed from his slacks and button up. He scrubbed a hand across his jaw, scratching at his beard.

"You tell me." Bucky started shadow boxing as he moved around the ring, avoiding looking over at Steve. He heard the blonde let out a sigh and the ring shifted for a moment as Steve pulled himself through the ropes.

"Can we just have a conversation instead of punching?" Steve took a few steps towards the middle of the ring.

"Well, you clearly don't wanna talk. So, figured may as well let our fists speak." Bucky paused and threw a fist toward Steve.

Steve's hand snapped up and stopped Bucky's fist, the sound of their hands colliding echoing through the space. Steve and Bucky often trained together and it was easy to brush off. But this time, Steve didn't like the look in Bucky's eyes. They weren't empty, like Steve remembered from years ago. But they were...sad.

"Buck, please."

Bucky scrunched his face together and let out a groan. "This isn't fair, Stevie. You can't just push me out."

Steve's lips pursed into a straight line.

"You're the one who always wants to talk it out, so talk to me," Bucky's hand moved forward and pushed against Steve's chest, causing him to step back. "For someone who is all about honesty, you're doing a shit job telling me the truth."

Bucky took another step forward and shoved Steve's chest again.

"Bucky, stop."

"Talk to me." Bucky squared up his arms. "Or hit me."

"I'm not going to do that." Steve sighed. "Listen, can we just go upstairs and -

Bucky shuffled his feet to face Steve as he tried to walk away. "Is this about Avery?"

Most people wouldn't have noticed the fluctuation in Steve when Bucky said her name. His eyes twitched briefly, his chest tensed, his jaw locked.

Most people wouldn't pick up on it, but Bucky did.

"You told me you were okay with this, Steve. Hell, you encouraged it. Do you not like her?"

Steve shook his head, looking away from Bucky. "No, God no. It's not that. It's…"

Bucky brought his arms down to his side. "What's going on?"

Steve shook his head. "Fine. If I say this, I can't undo it."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve. He felt bad, suddenly. It was clear whatever Steve was about to admit wasn't easy for him to say.

"It's not like I'm gonna judge you, punk," Bucky replied quietly, in a half-assed attempt to ease the awkward energy.

Steve closed his eyes and took a step away, scrubbing a hand down his face. "God, this is so juvenile. I think Avery is great, Bucky. More than great." He paused and took a deep breath. "It's not that I don't like her. It's the opposite of that _."_

Steve couldn't believe the words escaping his mouth.

"I didn't mean for it to happen but over these past few weeks, seeing you two together, I've been strangely jealous and I just.. I want that too. With her. With you. I don't know." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I just couldn't find the right way to tell you I have a crush on your girl, Buck."

Steve finally turned back to look at Bucky, who was just staring at Steve. His face was stoic.

Steve felt like his chest was turning to stone. It felt like an eternity passed before Bucky's lips turned up into a smirk.

"Huh."

Steve tilted his head, confused. "You're not mad?"

Bucky closed in the space between them and wrapped his arms around Steve. He ran a hand through his hair, resting his chin on his shoulder. "Just trying to figure out how we can make this work."

It was strange and unconventional. Bucky was a little stunned at Steve's confession but as he sat with his thoughts, he could conclude he was more upset Steve was dishonest than him developing feelings for Avery. He couldn't blame him, really. They had all spent a lot of time together and Avery was already comfortable around him. Bucky considered it lucky they all got along so well. But maybe it was better than luck.

"What? No. Buck, she's your girl."

"Avery is her own person, it's not like she belongs to me. But I've seen how you two get along. Maybe she could be as much yours as she is mine."

Steve just shook his head as Bucky pulled away. "No, no. I just needed to finally get it off my chest. I don't anticipate you hitting self-destruct on your relationship because of _my_ feelings."

Bucky gave him a soft smile. "Don't sell yourself short, Stevie. How you feel is important to me, you know."

Steve sighed.

"You really ran away to Iceland just to avoid telling me that, huh." Bucky shook his head with a laugh. "Iceland."

"Oh, give me a break. It's unconventional, Bucky. It's not like she can just date both of us. Then we'd all sort of be dating and that's not normal."

"Stevie, you an' me are glorified science experiments. We're over 100 years old. We've fought in wars with Nazis, HYDRA and goddamn aliens. Nothing about us is normal." Bucky reached his hand out and clamped it on Steve's shoulder.

Steve laughed and shrugged. He had to agree with Bucky's summary. He was far past his old dreams of what his life would look like. His dream of a housewife, a white picket fence, all those old-fashioned ideals had disappeared in the last decade. He figured if he had Bucky, everything else might fall into place eventually.

But maybe he wanted more than just Bucky.

"I'm glad you told me what's going on."

"I'm sorry for leaving so quickly and not being honest. It's just been..confusing."

Bucky waved a hand to stop him. He understood, really. It all made so much more sense now. Bucky could justify Steve's actions a bit more, at least.

"I'll talk to Avery and -

"What? No."

"Steve, c'mon."

"You can't just spring this on her. She's going to think I'm some creep or -

Bucky's laughter cut him off. "Steve, you're overthinking this. I'm not going to tell her what you said. I'll just test the waters. See how she feels."

"Okay, then maybe we _all_ need to have a conversation."

"Whatever conversations you're planning can wait, I hope." Steve and Bucky both turned to see Sam walking towards the boxing ring. "We just got another ping from those crates we tagged last month. Delivered to the west coast, near Vancouver."

"Shit." Bucky knew he and Sam needed to gear up. This whole investigation over the mysterious sleytium compound was hitting dead ends again and again. So if this was another lead, they needed to follow up.

He turned to Steve, squeezing his hand before walking away. "We'll circle back to this. Okay?"

Steve nodded. Really, that was fine with him. He already felt an incredible amount of relief getting the truth off his chest. Now, he could hopefully get a better handle on his brain.

Bucky gave him another quick hug before jumping off the boxing ring and hurrying off with Sam.

* * *

Avery was tethered to her desk Monday morning. She came into work to find an unreasonable stack of new file folders in her chair, including a few specifically marked as being delivered from Will. They had a note attached requesting she stop by his office that morning.

She was dreading it. She has adamantly denied his requests for her to visit his warehouse site again that past Friday. She was proud of herself for putting her foot down, even if Will pleaded and asked so politely. She reminded him she did him a favour the first time and she didn't owe him anything else.

That seemed to finally shut him up but there was still a strange unsettled feeling lingering.

Before she headed downstairs to find him, she got a message from Bucky. He had bounded out of her bed quickly that morning, barely kissing her goodbye before he left. He said he needed to talk to Steve and that was it.

She still wasn't sure what was going on between those two. She knew Bucky invited Steve for dinner on Sunday. And she knew how disappointed Bucky was when Steve said no.

That felt personal to Avery but she was trying to let it go.

Bucky: _hey. Sam and I have to make a last minute trip out west  
_ Bucky: _might be gone two nights  
_ Bucky: _I'll have my phone if you start to miss me  
_ Avery: _thank god. I've been needing a break from your face anyway.  
_ Avery: _be safe!  
_ Bucky: _remember steve is there if you need anything_

Avery sighed. Two nights seemed reasonable. She could handle two nights alone.

Had she really become this codependent on Bucky? She just missed him whenever he was gone. Last time he was out of town, she had Steve to fill that gap.

Now, she wasn't sure how to approach Steve. She had been looking forward to seeing him after his trip and had felt disappointed when he didn't come to dinner. It felt like a strange betrayal, feeling so interested in seeing Steve again. But she...missed him.

She shook her head and left her phone at her desk, heading downstairs to find Will. She flipped through the files he had left but couldn't make much sense of them without context. It wasn't anything normal for her - no inventory or safety report. It looked like pulled data from some sort of laboratory.

Will's secretary nodded for her to approach his door and Avery walked in after she knocked.

Will stood when she came in, asking her to close the door. Then, she sat across from him, tugging to straighten her blazer as she did.

"What's this about?" She placed the files on the edge of his desk, nervously flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Listen, before we get to that, I wanted to apologize for ambushing you with Harry Osborn last week." Will's eyes flicked from the folders back to Avery. It was hard to tell if his apology was genuine. It was becoming clear to Avery that Will seemed to lack a backbone and she had no interest in furthering her involvement with him. "I've been under a lot of pressure to.." Will shook his head, pausing to lean back in his chair. "Nevermind."

Avery just continued to stare at him, hands tangled in her lap. She drew small circles onto the knee of her dress pants, trying to remain unaffected by his words.

"It wasn't fair of me to bring you to that site originally or ask you to do it again." Avery could see Will was getting flustered. He tensed for a few seconds, pushing his elbows out to stretch, as if his twill grey suit was unbearably uncomfortable.

"Will, it's fine."

_It wasn't fine._ She knew that. But for some reason she found herself trying to fix this uncomfortable energy.

Will offered her a soft smile and sat up straight again, smoothing out the slate grey tie hanging from his neck. He took in a breath, squaring out his shoulders.

Back to normal.

"So, these files," Avery tapped on the folders on his desk, reminding him why she had come down to his office at all.

"Right, right." Will shuffled forward and grabbed them. He paused and met Avery's eyes. "I saw in your personnel file you studied Biochemistry."

Avery nodded slowly. She wanted to ask why he had looked up her personal information but she swallowed her words. "I did. I had just finished my undergrad before I vanished."

"Do you know much about organic materials? Or, well, compounds, metals, that sort of stuff?"

Avery pursed her lips together. "Some. I mean, biochemistry is more focused on the physiology of living organisms but I did a few courses relating to structural biology, geological foundations, that sort of thing. I'm not a professional or anything, though. Why?"

"Because I know fuck all about that sort of stuff but I'm looking to learn more about a few things regarding a project I'm investing in."

"No thanks." Avery held her hands up. She could understand where this was going.

"Avery, c'mon. This is harmless research."

"Will, I don't mean to sound rude but I'm sure you can afford to hire a real expert for help. I'm out of practice and only a recent grad. Sort of."

"I just need someone to review these files and explain this to me like I'm a child." Will laughed at himself, then shook his head. "And I need it off the record, under the table."

Avery was conflicted. On the one hand, it had been a long time since she got to do anything actually related to her degree. Her few hours spent in Bruce's lab has reminded her why she had gone into sciences at school before - it was fascinating. She loved the idea of figuring out how things worked, why certain building blocks made one flower bloom or why another material might change mass at a different frequency. Working at a desk doing data entry felt like her brain was rotting some days. This sounded sort of _interesting._

But, she lacked trust in Will. That was her biggest hindrance.

"So you want me to just read all the research in these files -

"Outside of the office, yes."

"And summarize them for you?"

Will nodded. "Listen, I know it seems silly. But I'm lost with this science stuff and I'm trying to really do my research with this project. I just want to be taken seriously."

For some reason, Will seemed sincere.

"Okay."

"And I can compensate you for your time."

"Please stop with the money thing." Avery waved her hand and reached for the files. "Timeline?"

"Next week?" Will offered. "I appreciate your discretion, Avery."

Avery nodded and stood up. She remembered him saying that last time, too. A fraction of doubt waved through her but she dismissed it as she headed back upstairs to her desk.

If Bucky was going to be gone for a few nights, the extra work would serve as a distraction, at least.

* * *

Avery: _hey I have to run an errand uptown after work  
_ Avery: _wanna grab dinner?  
_ Avery: _you can bring me the souvenir you picked up for me in Iceland  
_ Steve: _sure  
_ Steve: _I hope by souvenir you mean complimentary hotel pens_

On Tuesday after work, Avery took the subway toward Stark Plaza. Her "errand" was just confirming a cupcake order for Lora's bachelorette weekend in July. It was hardly an errand. In fact, it was something she could have done over email or phone call. But for some dumb reason, she wanted to see Steve.

She talked to Bucky on the phone for a few minutes the night before. She was happy to hear he had smoothed this out with Steve that morning before he left. In fact, Bucky seemed really happy to talk to her about Steve on the phone. Even though he was irritated with however his mission was going, and thoroughly disappointed in his late night stake out he had to do with Sam, his spirits seemed unusually high.

It was actually Bucky who suggested she reach out to Steve and see if he wanted to have dinner Tuesday night. He pressed on about how happy it made him to see her and Steve getting along so well, and how Bucky was looking forward to seeing them both Wednesday when he got home.

So, instead of just _asking_ Steve to hang out, she thought inventing an errand and placing herself in the area of The Avengers office would make more sense.

Why she suddenly felt like a nervous schoolgirl was beyond her.

It was just Steve.

_It was just Steve._

By the time she reached the plaza downtown, it was well past five. Her text to Steve that she was waiting upstairs went unanswered. Luckily, lingering in the lobby led her to Sharon leaving for the day. The blonde happily swiped for the secret elevator and let Avery head down to Steve's office directly to find him.

"Sometimes he'll get lost in a report and forget to come up for air," Sharon said with a light laugh. Avery thanked her and headed down to the office level hidden beneath the plaza.

Avery stared at herself in the mirrored back wall of the elevator. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth out her messy brown locks. Her eyes scanned her face and she grimaced - her poor sleep the night before obvious on her face. Her eyes lined with heavy bags underneath. She sighed and turned away, shifting the weight under her feet.

A pleasant ringing noise indicated the elevator had arrived and she stepped out, trying to remember her previous visit and the location of Steve's office. Eventually, she found it. Her feet paused outside his door, giving herself a moment to smooth out her black blouse, hidden under her brown leather jacket. She turned and pressed a knock on his door frame. Before she could announce herself or say Steve's name, something came flying towards her, hitting her chest with a thud.

Avery jumped, clutching a hand to her chest. She muffled her startled cry with her other hand and looked down to see she had been hit with a foam Nerf bullet.

Opening her eyes, she stepped into the door frame and could hear Steve laughing from behind his desk. She looked in and saw him crouched down, just his head visible.

"Avery, I'm so sorry. I was hiding out from a smaller brunette…" Steve paused. Just as Avery opened her mouth to reply, fast paced footsteps were sounding out down the hallway.

"Uncle Steeeeve!" A little girl quickly pushed past Avery, wielding an oversized red Nerf gun. She broke into giggles when she found him behind his desk, letting a few of the foam pieces hit him in close range.

Avery sucked in a hard breath as she watched the end of this battle unfold. Steve surrendered to the young girl and triumphantly swept her into his arms, holding her at his side and praising her improving close range skills. It made Avery's heart swell up. Whomever this little girl was clearly had a comfortable rapport with Steve and their matching beaming smiles lit up the room.

"Avery, this is my friend Morgan," Steve said, returning the small girl to the ground. She took a few determined steps towards Avery and stuck out her hand.

Avery just laughed and extended hers to match, shaking hands with Morgan as if they were making a business deal. "Nice to meet you, Morgan."

The small brunette smiled wide then started to collect her stray foam bullets from around the room.

"Strong handshake," Avery commented to Steve with a smirk. He returned a smile, dropping down into his chair.

"Hey kid, did you sneak up on him like I suggested?"

Avery turned to see who was at the door. The man standing there was unfamiliar to her. He had a basic black suit on, a heavier frame and a curly head of brown hair. A cell phone rested in his hand and a small pink and purple backpack hung off his right shoulder.

"I tried to," Morgan's voice replied, aiming her Nerf gun at Steve again.

Steve held his hands up in a surrender of innocence. "She's certainly getting better. If only her giggling didn't give her away every time." He paused and glanced toward Avery. "Happy, this is Bucky's girlfriend Avery."

Happy gave her a quick smile. "Ah. You're the one putting up with that grumpy old guy, huh."

"Yeah, both of them usually," Avery replied, raising her eyebrow and pointing towards Steve.

Happy let out a laugh and shook his head. "Best of luck. It was nice to meet you but we've gotta go see an important lady upstairs, right Morgan?"

Morgan nodded, turning to look at Avery. "My mommy is everyone's boss."

"Well, that's not true," Happy commented.

"She's _your_ boss," the young girl replied to him with a smirk. Avery stifled her laughter and glanced at Steve who was not holding back his amusement.

"C'mere," Steve stretched his arms out and Morgan raced over for a hug before leaving.

Avery couldn't quite put her finger on the warmth she was feeling seeing Steve interacting with the young girl. It was so wholesome and genuine. It made her heart ache though and she wasn't sure why.

Steve and Avery were both quiet as they left the building, exchanging just a few words to one another about their days. Steve suggested a diner a few blocks away, lauding their pie selection. His comfortable laughter put Avery at ease.

Although she couldn't figure out why she was so damn nervous.

"So, Uncle Steve," Avery joked from behind her menu, eliciting an eye roll and blushed cheeks from Steve. "That was a cute display."

"Tony's daughter," replied Steve, placing his menu down. "She's a special kid."

"I bet she means a lot to you," Avery said with a nod. It was only when she was really digging into the biography about Steve that she could understand some of the real history of The Avengers. There was an entire chapter dedicated to Steve's relationships with the Stark family, more so Tony than anyone else. Their friendship had been complicated, not always seeing eye to eye on small and big picture things. But in the end, Steve spoke highly of the man. And the fact that he was maintaining a relationship with Tony's family still was important.

An older waitress approached their table, a wide smile on her face. "Haven't seen you around here in awhile, Captain." She gave Steve a friendly nudge on his arm, sparking a smile. Avery smiled at the woman, whose worn nametag read Norma. Somehow she felt like the heart and soul of this place, tired eyes surrounded by laugh lines. It was immediately evident that she knew Steve on a personal level, perhaps just from his frequent visits to the diner. But it was friendly and warm.

"Too busy saving the world to grab a piece of pie or what?" Her chiding caused Steve to blush again.

"My diet can't solely revolve around baked goods, Norma," Steve replied. The diner was fairly slow for a weeknight dinner and the waitress seemed to revel in catching up with Steve. She eventually took their order - a bowl of beef stew for Steve, a clubhouse and onion rings for Avery - and brought over fresh coffee.

Avery was fascinated watching all these interactions with Steve. He exuded a certain kindness to everyone he talked to, but it was different, softer, when it was someone he cared about. The vibrato of his voice changed, the tone a bit lower. His lips curled into a certain smile, cheeks warm.

Steve took a sip of his coffee and caught Avery's stare. "What's that look for?"

Her eyes widened for a moment and she leaned back, shaking her head. "Nothing. There was no look."

Steve opened his mouth to retort but seemed to hold back.

Avery took a long gulp out of her own mug and darted her eyes away.

"You look tired," Steve commented, shifting to shrug off his coat. He winced when he saw her irritated face gathering up a response to him. "Sorry."

"I always find it strange when people point that out," Avery started, scrunching up her face for a moment. "There's just no way it's helpful or a good conversation starter."

A silence fell between them. Avery rested her hands on the table. Steve awkwardly checked his phone, as if hoping for some escape.

"A good conversation _stopper_ though," he eventually said.

Avery looked up at him and laughed. He had a small apologetic smile on his face.

"Last night was the first time I've actually been alone in my apartment at night since the break in. Between those few nights at your place or crashing at Bucky's or him staying at mine… I just didn't sleep much. Anxiety induced insomnia or whatever." Avery was hoping her laughter and smile were enough to deter Steve from worrying. She would be fine. It was just an adjustment.

Sure, she slept with the baseball bat in her bed. And pushed a chair behind her apartment door. When she fell asleep briefly, her phone was in her hand.

Just in case.

"But," Avery reached over to dig in her bag, avoiding looking at Steve or letting him have any moment to respond with some kind words. She didn't want the kind words or concerned glance. "It gave me time to finish this."

She placed the _Star-Spangled_ biography onto the table beside her coffee cup.

"And I have so many things to ask you."

Steve didn't want to ignore or bypass her comments about not being able to sleep. But he wasn't an idiot. It was clear she did not want to talk about it and he had to let that go. Instead, he reached out and grabbed the book. There were a dozen sticky notes, of all different colours, sticking out from different sections of the biography. He raised a curious eyebrow at her.

Avery flushed red when she met his eyes.

"I don't mean to come across like a crazy fan girl," she said, reaching out to grab the book back from him. "But it was so interesting to get to know _this_ Steve." Her fingers traced along the cover photo.

She placed it back on the table and looked up at him, as if to see if it was okay for her to talk about all this stuff.

Steve took another sip of coffee and leaned back in the booth, nudging his head to encourage her to proceed.

And she _proceeded._

Avery flipped through nearly every little sticky note she had scrawled onto, flooding Steve with all her thoughts about his story. She asked him about his childhood, the serum experiment, the _war._

Most days, Steve would not care to dive into his own history so deeply. But her excitement and curiosity was invigorating. She quizzed him like a journalist, about things he wouldn't normally give a second thought to.

" _What would you have done if you had come back from the war?"_

" _Was Bucky really the best sniper or does he talk a lot of game?"_

" _What was the weirdest part about waking up this century?"_

" _Wait. Sharon is Peggy's niece? You kissed them both?"_

" _Did you have any regrets about the Accords?"_

When their food arrived, Steve insisted she take a break and eat while her food was hot. Avery sheepishly agreed, moving the book to the side.

"This is the only place I've found that comes close to tasting like something from my childhood," Steve put his spoon down after taking a bite of his stew, smirking to himself. "Everyone always talks about how strong scent memory is but taste memory.." He trailed off, as if lost in whatever memory was coming back to him. "Somehow it tastes just like Sunday dinner with my mom."

Avery nibbled on an onion ring, tilting her head. She recalled that Steve's dad died in World War One, before he was born. His mom died when he was barely 18, too. She could only guess those Sunday dinners, where maybe it was just the two of them and a certain snarky Bucky, were cherished memories. "Did you try to look up any of your relatives when you woke up from the ice?"

Steve had another spoonful of his meal before he found the urge to respond. "I did. There wasn't much to find. My dad had a sister that never married. My uncle, my mom's brother, survived past the wars but I could never track down anything else about him. So I suppose the Rogers line ends with me." Steve smiled, though it seemed a bit empty. "I do have a big file on Bucky's family, though."

"Really?" Avery didn't want to press about Steve's family but knowing he was researching about Bucky's too peaked her interest.

"Yeah. That day you came by and hung out with Bruce in the lab, I was going to see if you'd help me out with it actually."

"Oh, sorry. Easily distracted, I guess."

"No, no. You were so excited about all the science stuff, I didn't want to take you away from that."

A soft smile crossed Avery's lips. "Does he know you have it?"

Steve nodded, suddenly crestfallen. "He won't even talk about it. I tried to give him what I have so far in the file but he completely rejected the idea."

Avery's face fell, too. "Oh."

"So, I was hoping," Steve drew out his words, his smile coy. "You might be able to help me find out more and maybe warm him up to the idea."

"What makes you think he'll talk to me about it?"

"You get under his skin, into his head, in a good way. I don't know. Maybe we can just work together here. I just see it as a nice reminder that he's still a real person. He felt dehumanized for so many years, his own mind turned off for the sake of doing the bidding of others. The fact that his family is still alive, people he could still have memories of..I don't know. I think it's worth it for him to at least consider his options."

"Well, okay." Avery laughed, shaking her head. "I'm sure you don't mean to turn your monologues into these bold speeches but your tone was enough to convince me. I'd love to help."

Steve smirked. "Great. Thanks, Avery."

When they were finished eating, Steve devoured a slice of apple crumble pie and Norma packed away a slice of blueberry for Avery to take home.

"I added in a slice of banana cream for that brooding boyfriend of yours, too," Norma said to Steve with a wink. Avery laughed at the description of Bucky and Steve's flustered reaction to the waitress's kindness. He ignored Avery's protest about splitting the bill, a mock offended face stopping her from arguing further. She supposed that would be a battle she could never win with a gentleman from the 40s.

Steve offered Avery a ride home and she didn't even bother trying to argue. It would save Steve from giving her a speech about her safety or ensuring Bucky didn't worry about her or all of that rolled into one. Admittedly, she was enjoying her evening with Steve so she wasn't in a hurry to part ways.

Steve instinctively pulled into the back parking lot of Avery's building to let her out. He hesitated, briefly. "Do you mind if I come in and use your bathroom?"

Avery shrugged with a smile. "Sure."

Steve felt like an idiot trying to think of a reason to stay and hang out.

"If you want we can even watch an episode of that documentary series I was telling you about," Avery suggested. "I mean, unless you have actual important things to do."

He just laughed as he turned off the engine. "No, I'm much more of a homebody than you might think."

Upstairs, as Steve ducked into her bathroom, Avery swapped her jeans for a pair of leggings and slipped into a big sweater. She grabbed a fork from her kitchen and eventually met Steve on the couch, digging into her piece of take-home pie.

"There's just one video I want to show you before we start the episode," Avery turned to Steve with a smirk, typing on her phone.

"Okay." Steve was wary about where this whole situation was going.

Avery tapped on her phone and sent the YouTube video to play on the TV across from them, pausing to look at Steve as it loaded.

"Oh, come on," Steve rolled his eyes as he saw the video title: _five minutes of reporters falling in love with Captain America._ The video that started to play was cut together with news footage of Steve, usually in his patriotic regalia, giving interviews to fumbling news anchors and reporters. And yes, it was more often than not women who seemed to find him charming or intimidating or _something._

He just narrowed a glance at Avery who was in a fit of laughter beside him, bright eyes staring at the screen.

"Wow."

"I think I'll watch this anytime I'm in a bad mood." Avery flicked her eyes over to Steve, who was blocking half of his view with one of his hands. "It's very wholesome. I mean, I feel bad for the one broadcaster who fell out of her chair."

"Yeah, I remember that one." Steve was enjoying watching Avery laugh, at least. Her gentle teasing reminded him of Nat, in a way. The redhead used to know an impressive variety of tactics to push Steve's buttons and he was beginning to think Avery could have given her a Nat for her money.

Avery crossed her legs and rested the foam container of pie on her lap. "I'll save the other videos for next time."

"There's more?"

"This is only part one, _Captain_."

Steve groaned and waved his hand, as if to try and stop that from ever happening. "Please, this was enough."

"We'll watch the next ones with Bucky, too. And maybe Sam."

Steve groaned even louder, grabbing a blanket from the back of Avery's couch and trying to block his face. "Nooooo."

"Okay, drama queen. Carrying on."

The documentary Avery suggested was a planet earth documentary that focused on different animal species. She had mainly brought it up as a joke but Steve seemed interested enough. He commented about his ongoing desire to learn or something. They started with the episode about big cats which was Avery's choice.

Sitting, watching and providing commentary with Steve was comfortable. Friendly. It felt real, it felt like the most normal everyday occurrence.

It felt possible.

* * *

_The sheets underneath Avery's back were soft, like a pillow. She stretched her arms out, reveling in the comfort of the warm body laying across her._

_She clutched at the sheets as lips pressed against her neck. She felt taken care of._

_On top of her, Steve bucked gently, his chest parallel to hers. He breathed into her ear, running his tongue along her skin then nipping her earlobe. She giggled._

" _Sweetheart," Steve's whisper echoed in the hollow of her neck. "You feel so tight, so good."_

_She moaned his name in response, lifting her hips to feel more._

_To feel._

_She felt full with Steve inside her._

_Complete, in a way._

_Like she was part of something._

_Like he was part of her._

_Steve pulled himself up, moving one hand to her waist and the other to her naked chest. He gripped her hip, twisted her nipple, growled her name._

_Avery looked to the side, whimpering at his touch._

_Just across the room, Steve's bedroom, Bucky was perched in an armchair, a smirk on his face. His torso was bare, jeans pulled down enough to free himself. His flesh hand was lazily stroking up and down as he watched them._

_She lifted one of her hands off the bed and motioned for him to come over._

_Bucky stood quickly, ridding himself of his pants entirely._

_Meanwhile, Steve slowed down his pace, watching Bucky, too. He continued, steady, thrusting in and out of Avery._

" _Avery baby," Bucky walked over and ran his hand across her forehead, moving stray hairs away from her face. It rested there, as comfort. "Do you like how Stevie fucks you?"_

_She nodded, aggressively, closing her eyes._

" _Tell me, Ave," Steve called out, moving his hand from her chest and trailing it down towards her very center._

" _Feels so good," she murmured, reaching towards where Bucky was standing. Her hand found his thigh, then his cock. "Want you, too."_

_Bucky's eyes fluttered closed at her touch, indulging as her hand replaced his for a few moments. Then, he tutted quietly, stopping her. He leaned down and met her lips, sucking at her._

_After pulling up, he adjusted his stance and shifted to press his lips onto Steve's._

_Avery tensed, excited, seeing them sharing such an intimate moment._

_Bucky ran a hand down Steve's chest. "Can I cut in here or what?"_

Avery woke up with a gasp. She sat up, trying to collect her bearings. She was in her own bed, not Steve's. She was dressed and very alone.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself, falling flat on her back, head softly hitting her pillow. That was a new dream and she couldn't believe the heat she was feeling between her legs.

Having a sex dream about Bucky wasn't surprising. But...with Steve? With both of them?

Avery struggled to fall back asleep, fighting off her thoughts. Beyond the strange guilt and feeling of betrayal and crossing a private line to think of Steve that way, the idea of having sex with both of them wasn't terrible. In fact, the more she replied the scene in her head, the more appealing it seemed.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think of anything else instead.

Her night with Steve had been so pleasant. In fact, she had felt so comfortable just sitting with him on the couch, she had nodded off. When she woke up, she realized she was leaning up against him and his eyes were closed too. His arm was draped over her shoulder. She hesitated for a few moments, enjoying the presence of his body close to hers. Then, she gently shook him awake. He had apologized profusely for their proximity, though she waved him off with a smile.

She managed to fall asleep after he left, though he lingered at her door for a few moments.

She wanted to ask him to stay, just… to have _someone_ there. She would have felt better had Steve stayed. But, her tired eyes caught up to her and she managed to drift off.

Drift off to whatever that sexual fantasy had been.

She reached over to her bedside table to check the time and noticed she had a recent message from Bucky. They had talked briefly earlier, but his schedule was flipped because they were doing another stakeout that evening.

Bucky: _miss you doll  
_ Bucky: _steve said you fell asleep on him.  
_ Bucky: _here I was worried you wouldn't sleep at all without me ;)  
_ Bucky: _see you tomorrow_

She rolled her eyes, somehow unsurprised Steve immediately told Bucky about their evening. Those boys were truly just two peas in a pod and the type of friends who clearly told each other everything. Avery found it endearing, mostly.

She refrained from messaging him back, just to make sure she didn't distract him from his task at hand.

Sleep returned to Avery, in time. It was restless again, interrupted. Her brain kept returning to that dream, to Bucky's cocky smile and Steve's hands on her body.

She was restless.

* * *

Bucky and Sam's trip to the Vancouver area hadn't been as successful as they wanted. They went in with low expectations as it was but when they finally found the sweet spot - a few half hour segments in the middle of the night during a shift change and security break - what they found inside the shipping crates was lacking.

Inside the crates, there were mainly concrete cylinders nestled gently among normal cargo boxes. Despite running a scan, without stealing one of the cylinders, there was no evidence the shipment contained the sleytium.

No metals detected, no weaponry, nothing.

The only lead it gave them was for the cargo company. Sam had sent the details back to an agent in Manhattan who was running the intel research.

By the time they touched down back at the compound, both Sam and Bucky were a bit jaded. It seemed the hunt for the illegal weapons was proving more difficult than it had been in the past and their lack of information was trying on their commitment to the task at hand. Bucky volunteered to finish up all the reporting and connect with Steve about the trip, letting Sam unload his gear and head out.

Steve was in the city so Bucky headed straight home, desperate for a nap in his own bed. He had a few hours to rest before Avery was off work. It surprised him how he missed her, even though he had only been gone for a few days.

The fact that Avery and Steve had been hanging out while he was away made the longing equally frustrating. Like he was missing out, jealous he didn't get to be there alongside them. There was a sense of comfort knowing Steve was looking out for Avery, too. In the long silences of staking out the warehouse with Sam, his mind continued to backtrack to Steve and their talk before Bucky left.

Was it crazy to think all three of them could just..date? All Bucky knew growing up was that two people made a relationship. A _couple_. He had somehow found himself in a partnership with both Steve and Avery. Wouldn't it just make more sense that they all be in a partnership, a relationship, together?

Unconventional. It was unconventional.

But so was having a motherfucking bionic arm.

What did it matter if it was conventional or not? Who made the rules for what constitutes a happy relationship? Three people could co-exist, right?

His brain raced while he laid in his bed, sleep becoming a wish instead of a need. Eventually, he fell into some sort of dream stupor and groaned as he sat up in his bed. Glancing at his phone, he messaged Avery to see when she would be home then moved to stand.

While his body could easily recover genetically and run how little sleep, there were still times Bucky found himself feeling stiff and out of sorts. Somehow, post-nap, he was feeling some residual wear on his body. After a hot shower, he moved to his training room and started to clear off some things from the small folding table in the corner. All that remained after he was done was a glass cradle, that glowed a soft blue hue as he switched it on.

His prosthetic was made out of the most advanced technology Wakanda had to offer. Shuri had designed it herself leaving him with a powerful, almost organic feeling limb. Even if it was made out of vibranium. It was a far cry from the hacked up tech HYDRA had outfitted him with for so long. This arm was to act not as a weapon, but a defense. It aided him in his duty, his combat, but also felt like a real extension of Bucky. He did still have to care for it, like keeping a car tuned up to ensure it's longevity.

During their last minute mission to Wakanda the previous month, Shuri had made some adjustments for him and he had mainly gotten used to the tweaks. Some movements had felt a bit different, tighter in some moments, but he mainly had a handle on it. Still though, there were times when he needed to give it a short break and the portable diagnostic cradle he kept hidden away at home was the easiest way to attempt any adjusting.

A sigh left his lips, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirrors across the room. There were times, still, that Bucky didn't always recognize _himself._ A quick glance of his own body could leave him temporarily stunned - dark scars spilling away from his left shoulder, metal arm shining in the late day sun. He reached his right arm up and ran his index finger along the seam where his prosthetic met the permanent plating.

With enough pressure and the proper positioning of his fingerprint, the plates of his arm disengaged and with a slight hydraulic release, his left arm detached from its joint.

He always felt a bit incomplete without it, though.

The arm rested in the base of the cradle, a glass casing appearing overtop to seal it in place for the diagnostic cycle. Bucky returned to his bedroom, pulled on a t-shirt then planted himself at his kitchen table, scribbling out some notes regarding the stakeout.

Just after six, there was a quick rapping at his door. A few beeps sounded out then the door pushed open, revealing Avery with a nervous smile on her face.

"Hey doll," he greeted her, standing to walk and meet her inside the doorway. He scanned over her quickly, as if to see if anything had changed about her in the last few days. She must have gotten home from work a little while ago - she had already changed into what he could just consider her default look: tight black leggings, big socks and some sort of sweater. Her hair was falling down her shoulders and her face, while inherently tired, was bright.

"Hi," she replied, tipping her head upwards to meet his kiss. Her eyes narrowed for a moment while she looked over him, as he had her. "There's something different about you."

Bucky tensed for a brief moment, remembering he was currently lopsided. Avery had been completely understanding about his arm thus far but that didn't mean seeming him suddenly without a limb was going to be easy for her to accept.

"My arm is just -

She cut him off with a smile. "Did you get a haircut?"

Bucky rolled his eyes, turning his lips upwards into a smirk. "Funny."

Avery wrapped her arms around him, flicking her foot back to make sure the door shut behind her. She rested her head on his chest as his right arm gripped her shoulders. Avery sat beside him at the table and they caught up on their last few days as Bucky finished off with his notes. She carried on about a boring, frustrating afternoon at work and Bucky was content to just listen.

He had been trying to pay extra attention as she talked about work, now. They hadn't done anything further with the S.H.O.T research - mainly because Bucky wanted to discuss a strategy with Steve before really worrying - and knowing her work life was relatively normal day to day made him feel a bit more at ease.

Eventually, she dragged him over to the couch and they lounged comfortably.

"So, what are you cooking for dinner?" Avery titled her head to look up towards Bucky as she rested under his arm. It was funny - she was sitting with him in the exact position she had fallen asleep with Steve the night before. It was a comforting parallel. As Bucky collected his response, Avery continued. "Do you need assistance? Can I lend a ..hand?"

"Oh, you really think you're a comedian, huh." Bucky shifted and shoved Avery back onto the couch playfully, crawling up and resting his body on top of hers. "You're really pushing your luck here, doll."

Avery giggled then poked her head up to kiss him quickly. Bucky returned a more aggressive kiss, pressing her into the couch. "If you must know," Bucky's words were hot in her ear as he moved his lips across her jaw. "Steve said he'd pick up dinner on his way over."

Avery closed her eyes, trying to hide her sudden uncomfortable feeling.

All day she had been wrestling over her _stupid dream_. All day, her thoughts bounced between Bucky and Steve and BuckyandSteve. She had decided that she might not be alone in how she was feeling. Considering Bucky and Steve's relationship, maybe she was causing some strange blurred lines that needed to be drawn more clearly.

She wanted to be honest with Bucky. She had to. It was the right thing to do.

Even though she liked her time with Steve, just as much as she enjoyed her time with Bucky. The only thing she liked better was when they all hung out together.

But now, facing this turning point, she had to get those honest feelings off her chest.

_What do I have to lose?_

"What's going on, Ave?" Bucky's eyes darted over her face, which had gone from playfully excited to reluctantly nervous when Steve's name came up. Bucky leaned back and sat on his knees, resting his right hand on her left hip.

"It's nothing," Avery said quickly, shaking her head and trying to force a smile on her face.

"I don't believe you," Bucky replied, gently squeezing her hip. "Talk to me."

Avery sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.

_What do I have to lose?_

"Is it about Steve? You know I don't care you fell asleep on the couch with him. In fact, I wanted to ask -

"I had a sex dream." Avery's outburst cut Bucky off before he could really get started. "About Steve. And you."

Bucky pursed his lips for a moment, trying to hold back his laughter. It probably wasn't right to laugh at his girlfriend when she was revealing an uncomfortable _secret._ But her hesitance and awkwardness was something he found so damn cute sometimes.

"Huh." Bucky squeezed her hip once more, urging her to open her eyes. "Avery."

"It just happened for the first time last night and I don't know why. I don't want you to think I'm thinking about Steve that way because it's not about that. I guess I just like hanging out with him and maybe I was missing you, like _missing you_ and my subconscious filled in some gap." She kept her eyes shut as she continued to ramble. "I was reading online that sometimes sex dreams can just mean there's a lack of energy being exchanged in someone's life and maybe I'm just pent up. Not only sexually but just emotionally or something. And Steve didn't, like, make a move on me or anything, I don't think he'd ever try that considering. I mean, I'm a normal human female so it's not like I wouldn't be interested. You've seen how he looks, right? And when Steve laughs I just kind of..get this warm feeling and oh my god, please say something."

Avery's eyes finally opened and looked up to see Bucky just grinning at her like an absolute idiot. Like he was an excited kid on Christmas morning or something. He was _enjoying_ her irrational spiral a bit too much for her liking.

"Ave," Bucky's fingers started to trace soothing fingers on the skin just under her sweatshirt. "What happened in the dream?"

"Wait. Are you mad?"

"Tell me about the dream, doll," Bucky ignored her question, narrowing his eyes to look at her.

Avery blushed, hard. How could she say it all out loud?

"Augh, I hardly remember it now."

She was lying. She knew Bucky knew she was lying, too. He didn't reply, instead just continuing to move his hand across the smooth skin of her stomach, moving her sweatshirt up higher and higher.

Wait. Was Bucky enjoying this?

Avery took in a deep breath and locked eyes with him. "Okay. I was in Steve's bed. We..we were in Steve's bed. You were watching from the side of the room while Steve and I.." She let out a long exhale. "Eventually, you came over and kissed me. Then you kissed Steve. Then..asked for your turn."

Bucky knew she must have been leaving out the _serious_ details but it was a delicate topic and he didn't want her to feel any more uncomfortable.

"Well, to tell you the truth, that sounds like a great time," Bucky finally replied to her, resting his hand flat on her sternum. Avery was blushing red and she looked away from him again. "Tell me, doll. What do you think would have happened after that show?"

Avery couldn't muster a reply but Bucky just continued.

"Because, if that wasn't a dream - if that was something that really happened, I imagine that falling asleep with you both would be just as much of a treat. To me, at least. Stevie and I would probably smoke you out with our body heat - he's a worse furnace than me - but imagining you nestled right between us both.." A sweet, dopey smile crossed his face.

"Bucky," Avery reached her hands up to grab at his waist. "I really don't know what any of this means. I didn't mean to.." She sighed. "I don't even know. What you and I have is really special to me and I don't want you to think I've been..thinking of someone else. It's just.. I've come to realize I like having Steve around. I like it a lot. And I don't think that's fair to say to you." Avery didn't realize she was becoming so overwhelmed but when her breath hitched, and her eyes started to water, she felt so embarrassed.

"Avery, baby." Bucky pulled himself away from between her legs and grabbed her hand, pulling her to sit up. "Hey, I'm not mad. Nothing bad happened here. You didn't do anythin' wrong."

She let out a huff. "Bucky, I have feelings for your bestfriend. _Your boyfriend._ Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that out loud. Yes, that is very wrong and you have every right to be upset with me."

"Avery," Bucky repeated her name, reaching his hand up to cradle against her face. "Listen to me. You don't get to decide what is right and wrong, okay? I know this is a lot. Hell, it's a lot for me, too. I've never been in this kinda situation before but I wish I could tell you how good it feels to think about you and me and Stevie all figuring this out together."

Avery didn't anticipate this conversation happening how it did. Nor did she think she would collapse into Bucky crying over it. The tears were relief, really. She did feel a lot lighter saying all those things out loud to Bucky. But she was still confused as hell. How on earth were they going to just _figure it out?_

She stayed cradled under Bucky's arms for a few more minutes then finally pulled away, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Wow. This is a lot. Okay."

"You alright?" Bucky used his hand to brush her hair back away from her forehead. "Remember to breathe, Ave."

"Yes." Avery let out a slow breath and kissed him. Slow. "I'm alright." She took a few long breaths and fell back against the couch.

Maybe it was okay that her night with Steve had felt sort of like a date. She shook her head, stopping her thoughts. She was getting ahead of herself.

"Oh, I totally forgot. The lovely woman at the diner sent you home a slice of pie. I'll go grab it."

Bucky's childish smile returned. "Norma, what a lady." Avery laughed and shook her head, giving him another kiss.

"I'll be right back." She paused at the door. "I guess we're gonna have to have a strange conversation when Steve gets here, huh."

Bucky shrugged, smile still on his lips. "Don't stress over that, doll. One step at a time."

Avery nodded and headed back down to her apartment. She was grateful for the couple minutes of solitude so she could catch her _fucking_ breath. She did not anticipate that discussion with Bucky would evolve into her realizing that yes, _of course_ , she had feelings for Steve, too. God, looking back, it was nearly an inevitable situation. It was laughable, even. The three of them had spent a lot of time together, even if it was just under the premise of Bucky and his girlfriend..and Steve.

She retrieved the pie from her fridge, pausing to give herself a few seconds to breathe.

She was going to be okay. This was just Bucky and Steve. She knew them, she trusted them. If this was something Bucky was going to be so comfortable and honest about, she didn't need to be worried.

_They could figure it out_.

Avery smiled to herself, letting out a long breath as she walked back upstairs. She had no idea how this evening was going to go, she anticipated maybe some very real awkward conversations before something good. _Something really good._

She ran her thumb over Bucky's door and keyed in his code, trying to contain her smile as she pushed the door open. She could hear both Bucky and Steve as she walked in. Her eyes darted around, realizing that yes, Steve had showed up with dinner while she was downstairs. But, he had also brought Sam with him. He was planted in front of Bucky's TV again, fiddling with the game system they had all played together on previously.

Avery's eyes went wide as she met Bucky in the kitchen, jumping in to assist him unpacking the take out Steve had picked up. She turned and greeted the boys in the living room, giving Steve a soft smile.

"Wilson thought we needed another game night because he picked up some new game," Bucky said with an apologetic smirk. "Even though we just spent nearly 50 hours straight together."

"Listen, Robo-cop, Avery is the only person I know who may appreciate playing _Mario Party_." Sam cocked his head to the side. "Plus, admit it, you miss me when I'm not around."

"I will not admit that," Bucky replied, rolling his eyes. "Stevie, c'mere." Bucky waved Steve over from the couch, shooting a glance at Avery who was suddenly turning red at just the thought of Steve.

"You're the worst," she muttered out with a smile, nudging Bucky gently with her hip.

"Can you guys finish this while I go reset my arm?" Bucky grabbed Steve's shoulder playfully as he crossed by, heading towards his second room.

"Sure," Steve replied, shaking his head as Bucky walked away. He rolled up his sleeves and stood beside Avery, opening up the containers of thai food onto Bucky's island. "So, how'd you sleep last night?"

Avery kept her eyes down on the task at hand, trying not to even bump elbows with Steve as she moved to grab some plates from the cupboard. "I would argue the best moment of sleep I had was on the couch." _With you_.

Avery glanced over towards him, gripping the stack of plates in front of her. Steve turned his head and smiled at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated. He brought a hand up and ran it through his hair.

"Next time, maybe I can-

"Next time, you should just stay." Avery cut him off quickly. Her hand moved off the plates and rested on top of Steve's. "Call me selfish but I don't like to sleep alone."

Steve let out a small laugh, moving his jaw to the side and nodding. If he was reading this whole situation correctly, it seemed like Avery was..flirting with him.

Could that be?

Avery pulled her hand back and bit her lip, breaking away from Steve's gaze. She took a few steps away and called for Sam to come over and fill up a plate.

Steve took a few steps away from the kitchen as Avery and Sam chattered away, discussing something about this game they were all about to play together. He felt something shift in him as he watched her. A warm feeling flooded his chest.

Bucky emerged from his bedroom, left arm back in position. He moved his shoulder to stretch it out a few times then crossed his arms, nudging Steve's shoulder as he stood beside him.

"You alright?" Bucky asked, following Steve's eyeline. Bucky's gaze landed on Avery too. As she turned away from the food, she paused and flashed them both a coy smile.

A warm feeling flooded Bucky's chest, too. He smirked to himself.

Everything was about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: mY GOD, this chapter made me nervous to write. Reminding myself I thought I was writing a slow burn but considering the amount of story I still want to tell, maybe this is more of a medium burn with romance and action involved haha HERE. WE. GO.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading along! As usual, I'm so grateful for all of you. Your comments and questions and thoughts and feelings mean so much to me. MUCH LOVEEEEE.
> 
> Next: how do you start a conversation about dating when you're already sort of dating? and, well, let's dive into whatever the hell Will Simon is researching. And it's time for a roadtrip to the family lakehouse. Welcome to the 4th of July weekend, folks.


	16. Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content not-a-warning: *accidently writes a 14k chapter because I can't help myself*
> 
> Pre-chapter: just as a helpful addition, I have a few faceclaims as we introduce Avery's family. Her dad I picture as a rough and tough Kevin Costner, her sister Lora I see as Katie Stevens and her sister's fiancee Allie I see as Janel Parrish. But, use your imagination and discretion!

Wednesday was easy. Thai food, video games, laughter.

Easy.

It was foolish for Avery to think it might continue that way. By the time Steve and Sam were packing up and heading home, she wanted to politely tell Sam to grab an Uber and let Steve stay and hang out with her and Bucky.

Instead, she settled on a long hug and a lingering smile from Steve followed by Bucky pouncing on her the moment the door closed. He was eager and animalistic, muttering _dirty, dirty_ things as he tackled Avery onto his couch, shedding his clothes, her clothes, any hesitation. The ten feet to get her into his bedroom would have taken too long, apparently.

That was easy. No, well, it was hard and aggressive and demanding and satisfying. He was forward and controlling, Avery was accepting and content to feel however Bucky wanted her to.

It was Thursday when things got less easy. Avery worked later than she wanted and somehow found herself roped into some sort of _Happy Hour_ situation with Heidi and some of the other office staff. She enjoyed herself and liked having girl time with her coworker but Thursday was usually slotted for a night in with Bucky and Steve.

Bad TV, good company.

By the time Avery made it home to Brooklyn, she rushed up to Bucky's apartment to find him sitting alone on the couch. Something felt off but Avery couldn't put her finger on it. While Bucky offered a smile when she walked in, closing the laptop that was resting on his knees, there was still something in the air. She didn't press, instead peppering him with kisses and asking about his night.

"Just got home from the office a few hours ago," Bucky revealed, leaning back on the couch as she fell into him. "Steve and I got stuck on some research."

"Everything okay?"

Bucky nodded, tilting his head to look at her. His brain was feeling messy after a long day but seeing Avery now was a moment of peace. Her legs, wrapped up in tight jeans, curled up under her. Her right hand traced circles on his knee, humming quietly. Her gaze, soft and light, met his.

He raised up his right hand and brushed it against her cheek. "Yes. And Steve says hi. He has an early meeting tomorrow so he opted to head home. Though he's missing out on your cute drunk stare."

Avery softened for a moment. She liked knowing Steve was thinking of her.

"I'm not drunk," she replied, a fake offended look crossing her face. "I only had four cocktails."

"On an empty stomach?" Bucky raised an eyebrow at her. Avery huffed and leaned back, crossing her arms.

"I'm gonna have'ta start hiding those terrible protein bars in your bag," he said with a smirk. "You sleepin' here?"

"I don't have to," she said quickly, tensing her body. Usually she just stayed or he stayed at hers if that's where they had ended up. It had become a strange standard practice, maybe too quickly - though neither wanted to admit that - but it typically went unsaid.

"No, I want you close," Bucky replied just as quickly, feeling her relax again under his arm. _I need you close._

That was enough. Laying side by side, under the tangle of Bucky's bedding, Avery could still feel an unusual shift. As she started to drift off, arm stretched over his torso, Bucky was just staring at the ceiling. As if concentrating on something and nothing at all.

Avery asked, once more, if he was okay. He answered by pressing a kiss to her forehead, encouraging her to sleep.

"Just lost in my thoughts, doll." His hand swept over her hair a few times, gently massaging her scalp. "Sweet dreams."

The cocktails and comfort of the bed overwhelmed her and sleep did come, though she was still concerned about him.

What happened next _wasn't_ easy.

In retrospect, had Avery asked a few more questions or paid a bit more attention to Steve when he talked about Bucky's rehabilitation, she might have felt more prepared. But when she woke up in the middle of the night to Bucky screaming, she felt more than lost.

Avery crawled up towards the headboard and scrambled to turn on a lamp as Bucky's terrored voice continued to sound out. He was thrashing on the bed, as if he couldn't sit up or remove himself from the position.

"No...no! Please. No."

"Bucky!" Avery shook her head and very hesitantly tried to reach out to try and help. Could she be soothing or distracting right now? "Bucky, everything is okay."

He shot up in the bed, gasping for air. His eyes darted around the room, as if he was trying to get his bearings. When he met her eyes, Avery's stomach dropped. In the dull half lit bedroom, all she could see was dark pupils. He stared, scanning her face.

Avery slowly moved off the bed, not breaking her gaze with him and felt a fraction of relief when her feet landed on the floor. "Bucky, can you he-

His voice was hoarse. "You need to leave."

Avery felt her breathing stop as she took in his words. Somewhere, deep within her, she could understand the version of Bucky she was talking to was not _Bucky._ But the words stung nonetheless.

She watched as he took in another deep breath and closed his eyes, pushing his palms against his face. Another desperate cry left his throat, this time louder, as if his vocal chords were working beyond their normal capacity.

Bucky stood, rigid in his movements. Avery took a few steps away from the bed, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. She didn't look away from him as he continued to mutter senselessly, eyes darting around the room. His breaths came out in short huffs, taking a few steps at a time.

"Bucky," Avery took a deep breath and took a few steps towards him, facing his back. She reached out to touch his shoulder and suddenly he turned with a jerk, as all the plates in his left arm moved at once. His hand gripped onto the loose collar of her t-shirt, pulling her forward. Despite the lost look on his face, he wasn't making any physical contact with her and Avery was grateful. Her eyes grew wide as she gasped, her right hand clutching onto his metal wrist. She took a deep breath.

"Bucky, you're not going to hurt me."

"You need to leave."

She looked up at his dark eyes. He was fighting something. Beyond his own mind.

Bucky looked at her closely then her hand on his wrist. His eyes shut again, releasing her with a shove towards his door frame. "Go." He softened, for a fraction of a second. "Please, Avery."

In that moment, Avery could hear the desperation in his voice. She had to go. She didn't hesitate again as she headed towards his apartment door, hearing another scream leave his lips. From the hallway, she could hear the shattering of glass. Or..no, a mirror. She winced as the crashing continued. She could make out the heightened pace of his fists hitting the hard leather of his punching bag.

Avery caught her breath and dialed Steve on her phone, running downstairs to her apartment. She didn't even bother checking the time but she knew it was the middle of the night.

Steve answered right away. He could only assume a phone call coming this late wasn't a good sign. "Avery - what's going on?"

"Bucky just woke up, freaking out. I tried to talk to him but it's like he's not all there? I don't know what to do."

"Did he hurt you? Where are you?"

"No, no. He grabbed at my shirt and kept telling me to leave so I did that. I'm just getting to my apartment." She paused as she keyed in the lock sequence and went inside. "It sounded like he was taking out his anger or..whatever.. in his training room when I ran out."

"Okay, I'm heading down there now." Steve hung up without saying anything else. Regrettably. He wished he had left her with some comforting words but he needed to act quickly. Usually when Bucky had a nightmare, Steve can contain his escalation with his own strength, a series of words, anything. But Steve hadn't considered giving Avery guidance on how to handle it.

By the time he made it to Brooklyn, he was bounding up the stairs three at a time to get to Bucky's apartment. He didn't hear any screaming or shouting as he got to the seventh floor but he went inside cautiously. It was still very dark - there was a peak of light coming from Bucky's room down the hall and some leftover moonlight in the living room.

"Bucky?" Steve called his name out as he slowly walked through the space. "It's just me. It's Steve."

That's when Steve finally heard it. Sobbing.

He found Bucky collapsed in the middle of his second room, surrounded by shards of shattered mirror. He was on his knees, head down on the floor. His back moved up and down rapidly, hyperventilating.

Steve fell to his knees beside him, planting his hand in the middle of Bucky's back.

Bucky tensed.

"You're okay, Buck. You're safe." Steve's words, repeated again and again, helped ground Bucky enough to gain control of his breathing. Steve's hand moved up and down his back, in soothing, pressurized circles. "You're safe."

Bucky took in a long, deep breath and sat up onto his heels. His eyes looked over to Steve as he exhaled. "Avery? I was trying to.."

"She's in her apartment," Steve said quietly, shaking his head. "You didn't hurt her."

Bucky's body finally relaxed.

* * *

Avery was sitting on her couch, wrapped in a blanket. While the episode with Bucky seemed to happen so quickly, all of a sudden waiting to hear from Steve made time slow to a halt. Part of her was tempted to go and wait in the hallway outside of Bucky's apartment and see how Steve took care of the situation. But, she knew she was out of her element. Even if she could try and talk him down from whatever was happening in his mind, his strength was worrying. Steve was equal to him in might and had plenty of experience helping him through this already.

It just made Avery feel pretty damn useless. Really, she was a little shaken, too. The absent look in Bucky's eyes was a lot to swallow and she could certainly live without ever hearing him scream like that again.

Steve had only casually glossed over the _torture and pain_ part of Bucky's history that day in the archives. Despite the rehabilitation of his brain, Avery could understand the layers of repression that lived in his mind still. She had very real memories of her dad suffering through night terrors when she was a kid. PTSD could resurface at any time, from a trigger or out of thin air.

She knew that.

She just hoped she could handle it. She hoped she could _learn_ to handle it.

Eventually, there was a quiet knock on the door. Avery shuffled over and was grateful to see Steve standing with heavy, tired eyes. He was dressed in just a plain pair of jeans and a zip up hoodie. The sight of him made her feel better, at least.

She motioned for him to come in. "Is he okay?" Avery hugged the blanket around her body, biting on her lip.

Steve nodded, leaning against Avery's kitchen counter. His hands rested in the pockets of his jeans. "Yeah, he's okay. Just, well, exhausted. This sorta thing takes a lot out of him."

Avery nodded along.

"I should have been more careful today, or not left him alone. We got really deep into some old history while we were doing research today and I think it opened up some memories he hasn't touched in a while." Steve sighed. "Just comes and goes without warning."

"As most trauma does," Avery replied with a dry laugh. "Is there anything I could have done?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't think so. Usually he'll ground himself but this was a bit out of character. He doesn't always get physical after the nightmares."

Avery pursed her lips together.

"Bruce developed a super soldier sedative that Bucky keeps tucked in his medicine cabinet. Basically an incredibly strong dose of melatonin." Steve ran a hand through his hair. "It should help him sleep soundly."

"Oh, good." There was a breath of relief in Avery's voice. She took a few steps towards Steve and joined him leaning against the counter, still wrapped in her blanket.

"What about you? What's going on in your brain right now?" He tipped his head to look down at her.

"I'm just worried about him," she said softly.

"And he's worried about _you._ So am I." Steve replied, swallowing hard. "He'll be alright though. I mean, he's going to feel terrible tomorrow and want to throw in the towel, I'm sure."

"I don't want that," Avery said sharply, shaking her head.

"I know," Steve's response was quiet. "He just needs constant reminders."

Avery let out a breath slowly. She uncrossed her arms and let her left hand drift down, running it across Steve's forearm until she found his hand. "Are you..going back upstairs?"

Steve shook his head. "He'll be knocked out for at least six hours now." His hand squeezed hers, soft and delicate against his palm.

Avery flicked her eyes up to meet his, taking a step towards her bedroom and pulling Steve along. He seemed to hesitate, causing Avery to falter. "I mean, you don't have to stay. If you prefer your own bed or whatever."

Like Steve was going to protest such an innocent request. He tightened the hold of her hand and nudged his head towards her room. She let out a small breath, letting her shoulders relax.

Who would have thought _next time_ would happen so quickly?

Steve had been in Avery's room before though this time felt much more private. In the late hour, her quiet bedroom felt more like a sanctuary for them both. A rest place away from the new stress lingering in both of their minds. She moved quietly, turning on the lamp on her side of the bed. As she turned her back to him, rearranging her pillows and bedding, Steve slowly took off his jeans, nervously folding them and leaving them on a chair in the corner. Down to just his boxer briefs and t-shirt, he paused.

"I'm just realizing I can just go grab a pair of sweats or pajamas from Bucky's.."

Avery climbed onto her side of the bed. He caught her eye roll in the dim light. "Steve, that's very polite of you but, if I can be honest, I don't care what you sleep in."

A small smirk crossed his lips. "Okay." He flipped up the blankets and laid down beside her, flat on his back. He took a deep breath as she turned off the lamp.

"Are you okay?" He turned his head to the side, though the details of Avery's face were barely visible.

"Honestly?" Avery rotated to look towards Steve. "I'm not sure."

Her hand, which had been resting on top of the comforter, was suddenly tangled up with Steve's.

A quiet laugh left her lips, remembering the last moment they were in that position. A few weeks ago, in Steve's bed. "I'll try not to have a panic attack this time, though. I don't think we'd both fit in my shower."

Steve let out a low chuckle, brushing his thumb against the top of her hand. "I guarantee we could both fit in your shower, as long as you don't mind close quarters."

Avery swallowed hard. Was..was Steve flirting with her now?

He squeezed her hand again. "G'night, Avery."

* * *

There was a comfortable shift Friday morning.

Avery woke up with the sun, stretching out her legs and pushing her head further into the pillow. As she glanced towards the far window, she felt the arm wrapped around her tighten. A soft sigh escaped her, shuffling backwards into Steve's embrace behind her.

It was strange, at first. Remembering the night before and that it was _Steve_ spooning her. In her bed. In real life.

But he was warm and _safe._

As she pressed herself closer to his chest, she could hear him shift awake. He stiffened, at first. Avery clutched onto his arm as he tried to pull away, as if to tell him it was okay. Eventually, his tension disappeared. His hand splayed out, fingers gentle against her ribs.

It felt special, this quiet moment of communication. Like they were both saying the same thing without saying anything at all.

_It was a shift._

"G'morning," Steve's voice was soft in Avery's ear. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Mmhmm."

"I have to get up," Steve continued. "I wish I could stay."

Avery moved to lay flat on her back, adjusting her head to look at him directly. In the golden sunlight bouncing off her walls, Steve somehow looked like a dream. Avery felt a pang of guilt, enjoying this warm morning with him.

She knew she shouldn't feel guilty - Bucky's chipper attitude about her admission about Steve last week led her to believe this was just the beginning of something new for all of them. But was it fair she was reveling in Steve's comfort while Bucky was just passed out upstairs?

It was going to take some time to really figure this out.

"I wish you could stay too." Avery's agreement to his sentiment put Steve at ease. "Are you gonna go check on him?"

Steve nodded, giving her another squeeze then pressing a kiss on the top of her head. He really wanted to.. _kiss her._ Lips, shoulders, neck. Everything. But they weren't there yet. How could he work up the courage to actually kiss Bucky's girlfriend?

"You should go back to sleep." Steve pulled away and sat up, extending his arms above his head then across his chest to stretch. "He's either going to hide out up there all day or come and paw at your door."

Avery just watched as he got dressed, back muscles putting on a show in the sunbeam. "I'll be prepared for either one."

Steve gave her one last glance before heading towards the door, a soft smile etched on his face.

Not longer after he left, Avery's phone buzzed with a message from Steve that Bucky was still sleeping. That gave her peace of mind enough to try and fall back asleep but she felt like there was a huge missing space in her bed now that she was alone.

It made her laugh, reaching across the bed and feeling the space where a body was absent. Laugh at herself and her rotating thoughts.

Whether or not she wanted to say it out loud, Avery knew she was totally fucked when it came to these boys. _Her boys?_

She lost herself in a daydream about what her life was about to look like. Dinner for three, bodies overlapping on the couch, arguing over the front seat of the Jeep, soft kisses, warm hands, enveloping hugs, protective warnings. She wanted it all.

It was easy to indulge in the happy part of this potential relationship. She pushed away the chance of guilt and possessiveness, the inevitable feeling of being left out, the worry and panic about their lives and their history. The overarching worry that was echoing in her mind was quieted enough for the time being.

Eventually, she climbed out of bed. After a hot shower, she was quick to get dressed then she headed a few blocks up towards a small bakery to grab some fresh bagels for breakfast. When she returned to the building, she dropped off a few bagels with Beatrice - they were skipping The Price is Right that morning since the older woman had an appointment uptown.

Back in her apartment, Avery carefully prepared coffee in her French press then set up camp at her small round dining table.

While she wanted desperately to go upstairs and see Bucky, she figured it was up to him to set the pace for what happened next. She did send him a good morning message, encouraging him to come down for a bagel when he woke up.

Then, finally, Avery cracked open the file folders from Will. They weren't especially big but she was a bit nervous about getting her brain back into a _science_ mode. After a few gulps of coffee and retrieving an old textbook from her shelf, she got into a comfortable groove.

The documentation from Will outlined a proposal from Oscorp, using the run off from a new alloy compound to manufacture some sort of chemical. She grew frustrated quickly, realizing most of the information was redacted, including specific names and ingredients. But, even so, she managed to scrounge together enough understanding to make some notes for Will.

_[Compound XYZ] developed to utilize slag and run off from [REDACTED] element._

_[REDACTED] element, originated in Tasmania, has been duplicated synthetically through successful trials, highlighted specifically in TRIAL # 895.11.B2_

_Slag runoff, in preliminary tests, has produced questionable side effects with chemical reactions causing [REDACTED]._

_With successful ministrations and testing, lab tests prove that a successful adaptation to inhalant may be a logical replacement for [REDACTED]._

_Support from DR. KARL MALUS, in partnership with research project # 889 - there appears to be a possible opportunity to manufacture [REDACTED] slag into potential [REDACTED]._

_NOTE: trials have worked successfully in human trial, with minimal side effects thus far._

Avery's research sent her into a deep spiral and she hardly thought about coming up for air. She sent a quick message to Will regarding what she had pieced together and he confirmed she could share it with him Monday morning at the office. Overall, the research had been boring and empty with so much information removed. But it was an excellent distraction from her racing thoughts and when she finally stood up to get a refill on her coffee, she heard knocking at the door.

The wave of relief she felt when Bucky was standing outside her door was more than she expected. It was comforting to just see him _standing,_ alive, steady. He looked well slept but not rested, like his body had shut down but his brain continued to run at full speed. The stubble lining his jaw indicated his lack of personal care that morning. Avery had those days too - where getting out of bed was the only accomplishment she could manage.

She felt for him.

"Hi." Bucky's voice was quiet, reserved. His hands were tucked carefully into the pockets of his dark jeans. There was something distant about his stance - as if his guard was up.

"Hi," Avery replied, opening the door wide for him to come in. His feet didn't move.

Bucky swallowed then let out a long exhale. It took a few extra seconds for him to find his next thought. "You sure you wanna be alone with me after last night?"

"Bucky," Avery reached out and placed a hand on his forearm, tugging him forward. "I'm not scared of you."

That was a true statement. Really.

"I can't pretend to know what's going on in your mind all the time," Avery continued, letting out a huff as he remained planted in the hallway. She pulled again, with a bit more force this time, and he finally conceded, following her inside. "I mean, it was startling."

It was _scary_ but she was trying to choose her words carefully.

"But I could see you fighting off…" Avery's words fell away from her as she looked up at him. His eyes, strong and certain, were glossy. She took in a deep breath and pushed herself onto her tiptoes, hesitantly meeting his lips.

"Just hang out with me today. You can wallow all you want, judgement free zone. Or you can talk to me about it. Or not." She let the air out of her lungs, closing her eyes. "I just like having you here."

Bucky freed his hands from his pocket and slowly snakes them around her back, relaxing into the embrace. Avery could tell he was trying to be gentle, cautious, even as he hugged her.

"I don't want to talk about it yet." Truthfully, he had no idea how to discuss his night terrors with her. They came out of nowhere usually, without pattern or order. Sometimes he was in that chair again. Sometimes he just saw a fury of fists. Sometimes it was searing pain rushing through his body, mixed with terrorized screaming and the stench of blood. Sometimes it was all of that mixed together.

He didn't say anything else as they broke away. Avery gave his hand one last squeeze, nodding, then just returned to her spot at the table.

Bucky moved slowly into the kitchen area, taking a mug from the cupboard and pouring himself a cup of coffee. He watched Avery for a few moments - eyes focused on her laptop, occasionally scratching a few words down on the paper in front of her. She sat with one leg up on the chair, hugging it to her chest as she scrolled through whatever was on the screen.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting. The argument he had with himself before heading down - whether or not making contact was the right idea, if he should just hide out instead or go into the office - seemed so silly now. Preparing for the worst - scared eyes from Avery, yelling at him to leave - set him up for disappointment but seeing her smile, gently, and allowing him freely into her home without even a moment of doubt, reminded him that this girl, his Avery, was something special.

Special seemed like such an empty word. It just didn't seem like enough.

He dropped onto her couch, taking a bite into one of the bagels he grabbed from the counter.

"You know, I have a toaster," Avery glanced at him across the room. He matched her smirk and took another bite into the fresh dough. "You're offending New Yorkers everywhere, pal."

Avery reached her hand up and shook her hair out of the bun on top of her head, moving her laptop slightly to have a better look at him on the couch. "Steve stayed here last night." She watched him for any kind of reaction.

All he did was grow the smirk on his face, sliding his tongue across his dry lips. He nodded slightly and leaned back into the couch, legs extended fully, taking another bite of the bagel.

"Is that okay?" Avery raised an eyebrow at his amused reaction.

"I don't make the rules, doll," he replied slowly.

She let out a frustrated groan, turning back to her computer screen. No one was making any rules. No one was saying anything at all! Was this going to turn into some weird negotiation eventually?

"Did he kiss you?"

Avery kept her eyes on the screen, _staring at nothing,_ knowing Bucky would have his dumbass cocky smirk on and she didn't want to give him any satisfaction.

"No." She let out a breath. "Well, he kissed my head, I guess."

Bucky didn't say anything else but Avery knew he was still sitting over there grinning.

She composed herself for a moment then shuffled everything back into the file folders. Taking one last sip of her coffee, she took her mug to the sink then crawled on top of Bucky on the couch. Her worries about him, while still there - they might always be _there_ \- seemed to lessen as she laid against his body.

He was safe, solid, grounded.

"I'm glad Steve was here with you," Bucky's voice was quiet in her ear. His left arm wrapped around her back, while his right ran through her hair as she rested against his chest. "I can't always be. 'Specially when..well, when my mind gives in to the dark stuff like that."

"You were still there," Avery replied, drawing her fingers across the rough stubble on his neck. He closed his eyes as she touched him, as if he was a cat ready to purr. "You said my name. You tried to get me away from it."

A heavy sigh sounded from Bucky. "I never want to hurt you, Avery."

She nuzzled into his chest, feeling his grip tighten around her back. "I know."

* * *

Late Saturday afternoon, Bucky and Steve were walking out of another matinee at the Brooklyn Bijou. After what felt like a heavy few days, an escape to an old black and white movie felt fitting for them both.

Steve had strongly encouraged Bucky to go to a drop in support group meeting at the Veteran's Affairs office Friday night. Avery was on Steve's side when he suggested it, too. She wasn't going to push but knowing there were available resources to him wasn't something she would _discourage._

As they paused outside the theatre, Steve pushed his sunglasses on and glanced over at Bucky who was staring at his phone, eyes narrowed.

"What's going on?" Steve dropped his hand on Bucky's shoulder and looked at his screen. "Avery? How's she feeling?"

She had declined an invite to hang out with the boys the night before when they got back from the VA, saying she had a migraine and needed to sleep. Then, that morning when Bucky asked if she wanted to go to the movies after he went to yoga, she said no again.

Something just felt a bit off.

"Dunno, I'm getting one word answers," Bucky said, turning to look at Steve. "She closes up sometimes.."

"Oh, reminds me of someone I know," Steve replied with a quiet laugh. "Frustrating, isn't it."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, you get to deal with two of us now. Good luck, punk."

Steve threw his arm around Bucky and motioned his head up the street. "C'mon, I have an idea."

Sometimes, during a _sad brain day_ , Avery tried to think back to _Before Snap._ When she felt sure of herself and her feelings. She used to be so proud of how she could control her emotions. She would chalk it up to the military upbringing - her father with his stoic responses and her mother always repressing her feelings from her husband - that she never quite knew how to handle things. So she did a lot of internalizing. Emotions, especially the darker, sadder, deeper ones were private.

Now, things were different. She had a shorter fuse, she cried more than she wanted, her nerves were often uncontrollable. She tried, she really _tried,_ to get a hold of herself. She attempted journaling, at the suggestion of her therapist. Going for walks. Saying things out loud to herself. Sometimes it helped but more often, it didn't.

Bucky was the prying type. She was starting to realize she wasn't very good at hiding anything from him, especially her troubling feelings. Maybe that was a good thing but it scared the shit out of her. And it felt unbalanced at times. He studied and trained to be an expert at reading people. Yet, when it came to him, she had to do a lot of guessing and following her gut.

Maybe it would get easier in time.

After seeing Bucky off to go meet with Steve on Friday evening, Avery planted herself on the couch. She was looking forward to just..nothing at all. Binge watching Brooklyn Nine Nine from the beginning seemed like the perfect Friday night activity. It was no date night but she took comfort in the fact that Bucky and Steve were together. They deserved some time together, too.

Things started to crack when her dad called. It had seemed friendly and light at first, with Lou Sr. simply confirming who Avery was bringing along for the long weekend. He wanted to account for who was sleeping where, how much food to prepare, how much beer to bring.

Avery finally revealed to him she was bringing her _boyfriend._ Her dad seemed excited then apprehensive. That's when he told her his own truth: _his_ new girlfriend would be there, too.

She wished it hadn't but that idea alone sent Avery into a spiral. She had worked hard, consciously and unconsciously, to pack away memories of her mother because it was easier than dealing with it. But thinking of her dad _dating_ threw her off the deep end, opening up every door of repressed memories she had been avoiding. She ended their phone call as amicably as possible but her mind veered off course once she turned off her phone. Eventually, after lying to Bucky about having a migraine, she sobbed until she passed out on the couch.

Saturday morning, when Bucky messaged her about the movie, she had barely enough energy to reply. She did drag herself off the couch, pouring some leftover cold, bitter coffee into a mug. She tried to tend to her plants, wishing for some distraction or relief from her sad thoughts, but it hardly worked. Even Frank, who was somehow flourishing in the afternoon sun, couldn't pick up her mood.

She ended up laying on her living room floor, wrapped in a blanket burrito. Sleep found her there. Terrible, restless sleep.

She didn't see the follow up texts from Bucky that the movie was over. Or that he and Steve were going to drop by. It was their loud knocking that stirred her awake.

"Avery?" Bucky's voice was laced with concern as he opened her door.

Avery pushed herself halfway up from her spot on the floor, turning enough to see both Bucky and Steve entering her apartment. She couldn't handle meeting their concerned glances and closed her eyes, using her palms to press against her forehead, trying to wish away the carpet lines from her skin.

"Ave, hey, are you okay?" Bucky hurried over when he spotted her wrapped up on the floor. He sat on his knees beside her, reaching out to pull her hands away from her face. "What's going on?"

"Sad brain day," she replied quietly, shaking her head.

Bucky reached up his right hand and pushed a mess of her hair away from her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. "Why didn't you say something? We could have just stayed home today and.." He sighed, glancing back towards Steve who was doing something in Avery's kitchen.

"You and Steve deserve some time together," she replied, taking a long breath. She shook her head and brushed Bucky's hand away. "I'm okay."

"Avery." Bucky brought his hand back, very gently grasping her chin so she would look at him. "Your eyes are bloodshot, cheeks stained with tears, you're pale as a ghost. You're not okay."

"Bucky," she replied with a hard tone. "You've got enough on your mind. You don't have to worry about me." She brought her hand up to grab his wrist, tugging it away from her face again. She didn't care for his critical analysis.

Bucky could handle her stubborn facade. "You're right. I don't _have_ to. I'm choosing to worry about you instead. That's different." He pulled back and moved to stand, reaching his hand out to help her up. "C'mon. Have you eaten anything today?"

She reluctantly took a hold of his hand and let him navigate her to stand again. It was then she finally looked over to Steve. He was standing in front of her sink, presumably listening but not contributing as Bucky took the lead on the situation. He looked perfectly normal standing there, navy blue Yankee cap on his head, blue plaid shirt comfortably on his torso. He turned and smiled at her, revealing a large bouquet of flowers he had trimmed over the sink.

They were a bundle of beautiful snapdragons, in pink and white hues, blossoming over the edge of his hands.

Avery nearly melted. "You got me flowers?" Her eyes darted from Steve to Bucky.

"Stevie's idea," Bucky revealed, excited to see a smile on her face. "But I helped pick them out."

Avery dropped the blanket from around her shoulders and walked towards the kitchen. "There should be an empty vase under the sink.." She crouched down beside Steve and took out a clear, tall vase, filling it with some water. Steve carefully dropped the flowers into the glass container, leaving it on the island between them. Avery ran her fingers along the hanging rows of flower petals - smooth, silky, fresh.

"They're so beautiful," she whispered out. "Thank you."

Steve extended his left arm over her shoulders, pulling her in towards him. She closed her eyes, holding back tears as she relaxed into his embrace. Bucky took a few steps towards them, grabbing a hold of Avery's left hand as it gripped the island.

"You wanna tell us what's going on, doll?"

Avery swallowed hard, doing her best to shrug under the weight of Steve's arm. "It's so… it's just so menial in the grand scheme of things. Petty. Silly. If I say it all out loud, it's just going to seem so stupid."

"I doubt that," Steve replied to her, moving his hand up and down her arm.

Avery looked between them again, matching looks of concern on their face. She figured there was no escaping it. It was ridiculous to feel irritated; they both seemed interested in ensuring she felt better. She was being irrational, trying to bypass their concern.

"Okay."

Soon enough, Avery found herself sitting between them on the couch. She leaned back against Bucky, while Steve sat under her legs. It was warm, safe. Then, she just… let it out.

She explained her uncomfortable revealing phone call with her father and the spiral it sent her into. She touched on the locked away feelings about her mother's death, the empty lost residual pain that came back in sudden flashes. She dove into her irrational anger that surfaced when she didn't want it too, her leftover bitter feelings about the life she lost.

Bucky and Steve just listened, offering little advice at first but enough baiting questions to ensure she was being honest. They didn't interrupt or judge, but extended comforting touches and grazing fingertips.

Admittedly, at first Avery felt uncomfortable. She felt like this was a raw, emotional wound she wasn't sure she should share. But she thought back to the past few days with them both.

She thought about her dinner date with Steve where he answered all her prodding questions about his personal life, his Captain America life and even his love life. He was honest and certain about his moral stances and his relationships.

And Bucky, who has been quiet at first then honest with her as they laid on her couch Friday afternoon. Bucky, who fought back more tears as he revealed some details about his complicated past. He explained part of his nightmares, his leftover file folders of trauma in his mind.

They had both been so honest with her - why did she hesitate to think they wouldn't want her to be honest, too?

It was silly. So silly.

By the end of her monologue, wiping away a few stray tears from her face, they all wound up laughing over _something._ Some old memory Steve thought fit the situation that Bucky remembered differently. It was so real, so comfortable. Sandwiched between them both, putting themselves at risk of vulnerability, felt natural. As if this was a real thing.

It _was_ a real thing. It had to be real.

* * *

Thursday afternoon, Avery was pacing around her apartment. Beatrice was seated on her couch, hands piled in her lap, an amused smile on her face.

"Bea, I know this sounds silly," Avery said, pausing and turning to face the older woman laughing on the couch. "But these plants are my children. Frank-" Avery motioned to her large green beast in the corner. "..he's incredibly sensitive to water and light so please be careful with him."

"Sweetie, I can water a plant," Beatrice replied with a coy smirk. "Just enjoy your weekend and don't worry about all of this."

Avery let out a long exhale, a soft smile on her face. For some reason, she woke up feeling nervous for this weekend event. Excited, of course, but nervous.

She loved the lakehouse. The plot of land in Paxton county, on the east side of Lake Montgomery, had been in the Felix family for a long time. She had fond memories of long summers there - swimming with her siblings, learning to ride a bike, making friends with the other kids who were stuck out there for the summer. It was a special place and she was looking forward to returning with a level-head.

She had visited the previous summer, still accepting her new life and adjusting to all the changes in her family. Regrettably, she had spent most of the weekend in an emotional spiral, intoxicated or sleeping. It wasn't her favourite memory. But now, getting to share this place with Bucky and Steve - she was looking forward to it even more.

Bucky and Steve.

Bucky _and_ Steve.

Ever since her breakdown on Saturday, the dynamic between the three of them seemed to heighten. The energy between Avery and Steve especially, supported by an always smirking Bucky, was growing more and more as they spent time together. Avery had a feeling Bucky had said _something_ to Steve about her but she was too nervous to bring it up.

Steve went with them to the farmer's market on Sunday. Then, all three of them wound up walking around the pier, stopping to sit in the grass or enjoy the view of Manhattan. They were patient as Avery ducked into a few small shops, Bucky bought them all coffees, Steve carried the groceries from the market.

The rest of the week flew by, with all of them working late in anticipation for the long weekend. Avery only saw Bucky when one of them crawled into the other's bed, sharing heated moments and quiet mumblings as they drifted to sleep.

Soon, though, all three of them plus Sam would be heading up to Massachusetts for the long weekend. Avery hadn't seen Steve in a few days - and the idea of being at the lake, in the sun, swimming, laughing with him and Bucky was overwhelming her with a warm feeling. And, well, nerves.

As she handed off her meticulous pages of plant care notes to Beatrice, she hugged the woman and thanked her again for being so kind. Beatrice just waved off her nonsense, giving her hand a squeeze as she headed back across the hall, insisting she just relax.

Not long after, Bucky appeared at Avery's door. She let him in with an excited smile.

Her face quickly dropped as she looked at him. "Bucky, you know we're going to the lake, right?" She gazed upon his current outfit - dark jeans, black henley, hoodie, leather jacket. And on his feet, his combat boots. Compared to her - dressed in jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt, hair wrapped to the side in a braid - he looked overdressed and ready for a mission, not a relaxing weekend in the sun. She supposed maybe he wasn't the type to have a variety of summer clothing in his wardrobe but this was not going to work for the weekend ahead.

"What?" He followed her gaze then shrugged.

"Don't you have sandals or sneakers?" When he didn't respond, she just watched as he dropped his backpack to the ground and shrugged off his leather jacket.

"Better?" As if shedding one layer of his dark clothing would prepare him for a weekend of sunshine.

Avery just smiled again and rolled her eyes. "Sure." She left him in her kitchen, picking at a big container of grapes and watermelon she had cut up for the drive. She emerged from her bedroom with her own duffle bag, sliding her feet into a pair of sandals. "You packed a swimsuit at least, right?"

Bucky's eyes darted towards her and he offered a small frown. "I think you're overestimating my interest in swimming, doll."

"Bucky, we're going to be on the lake all weekend. It's going to be super hot."

"I'll survive without swimming."

Avery noticed his tone was especially quiet, reserved. He crossed his arms, hugging his left arm close to his body. It was then she clued in - his arm. When they first met, his insecurity and reservations about his prosthetic were front of mind and going into this weekend where he would be meeting plenty more presumably judgemental strangers, she could understand his apprehension.

Before she could open her mouth to protest and encourage him, Bucky's phone started to buzz. "Sam an' Steve are outside." He glanced towards Avery. "You ready to go?"

* * *

"So, are we going to talk about what happened to your face?" Avery pulled her left leg up under herself and tilted slightly to stare at Steve. She had sweet-talked Sam into relinquishing the front seat to her, mainly due to the fact that her carsick nausea stayed at bay in the front seat better than in the back.

That left Bucky and Sam in the backseat of the large black SUV, already bickering about something. Avery tuned them out and continued to stare at Steve, who was smirking to himself as he navigated the roads towards the highway up towards the state line. Her unrelenting stare was because Steve's face was different. It was… bare.

Baby faced.

Without beard.

"Well, you sent me eight texts in a row when I was trimming my beard this morning," Steve started, stealing a quick glance towards her. "I got distracted and well, one thing led to another and here we are." He took one of his hands off the wheel and rubbed along his smooth jaw. "You don't like it?"

Avery blushed as he explained himself. She didn't realize her annoying texts would prove so worthy of Steve's attention. "No, no. It's just different. I do like seeing your jawline though."

This time it was Steve blushing.

"I swear to God, dude." Sam's voice sounded loudly in the backseat. "You know you can buy pistachios without the shell, right?"

Avery turned her head to look towards Bucky, who was seated behind Steve. He had his hand inside a paper bag, slowly cracking open nuts to snack on. He slowly snapped another one open, intentionally looking at Sam as he did.

"C'mon, man." Sam's arm reached across the seat to swat at Bucky, who just turned away to dodge Sam's hands.

"This is going to be a long drive," Avery muttered to Steve. He smirked again, agreeing with a nod.

Their late afternoon drive was going smoothly enough. Leaving two days before the 4th of July meant they were avoiding most of the heavy traffic and would hopefully make it to the lake house just after dinner. It usually took about three and a half hours from the city but thanks to Steve's heavy foot and the smooth navigation of the SUV, they were making good time.

They boys did indulge in some shoptalk, which Avery promptly interrupted by asking her own curious Avengers questions. They revealed to her that Warmachine and someone named Carol (explained that she was otherwise known as Captain Marvel) were on-call for the weekend. But, they had decided to take a work SUV instead of Steve's Jeep in case something happened.

It made Avery pause, as she thought about the vehicle they were in. She imagined it must be armoured and full of hidden weapons she did not want to know about.

"So, cupcake, what do we need to know about your crazy family before we meet them?"

Avery laughed at Sam's question then glanced at him and Bucky, then towards Steve. They were all suddenly quiet - a rare moment - and waiting to hear her answer.

"Oh. You're serious?"

"Usually we get a briefing before a mission," Bucky commented, catching her eye in the rearview mirror.

Steve nodded in agreement, pulling off his sunglasses and tucking them away. He looked into the mirror and met Bucky's gaze next. Both of the boys had expressed an air of nervous feeling to each other about meeting Avery's family. Bucky was feeling way more anxious about it. He had never met his girl's father before, let alone her entire immediate family.

It was ironic, somehow. He could sweep into a room of dangerous criminals without blinking an eye but the idea of making small talk with Avery's dad was making his stomach turn.

"Okay, I will give you a short summary." Avery crossed her arms and let out a breath. "My dad is Louis Felix Sr. He's a retired Army General, so I'm sure you'll all find something to talk to him about. Let him tell you the story about how he lost his right calf, it's easier to get it out of the way. He's rigid but has a good sense of humour." She paused. "He has a girlfriend, apparently. All I know is her name is Suzanne. Moving on!"

Bucky watched her as she spoke, trying to keep track of her energy and anxiety as she talked. If she was anxious about something or someone, he wanted to know.

"I think my brother Nash and the boys come in tomorrow morning."

"I know that isn't the name of a 90s R&B band, but it sounds like it," Sam piped in.

Avery laughed, rolling her eyes. "Nash is a bit of a frat boy but he's a softie about these family functions. He can be self righteous and hot-headed but he means well. Luke is his closest friend from basic training, he's like an extension of the family. Wannabe surfer dude, very chill." She paused. "I don't need to remind you about his _other_ friend Charlie who will be there, too."

"Wait. That jackass is going to be there?" Bucky jumped in, shoulders stiffening. Avery avoided looking back at him or over at Steve, who was also darting his eyes towards her from the driver's seat.

She ignored his commentary and the looks from Steve and Sam, folding her hands in her lap and staring out towards the road ahead of them.

"My sister Lora can be a bit much but she just likes to do things her own way, which she thinks is the best way. But get a glass of wine in her and she relaxes immediately. Her fiancee Allie is the most down-to-Earth, intuitive person I've ever met. How she puts up with my sister I have no idea but you'll all get along with her no problem."

"Can we circle back to that _piece of shit_ Charlie and how he'll be hanging around all weekend?" Bucky continued, reaching his right hand up to grab Avery's arm. She pulled away and shook her head.

"My dad has a soft spot for my brother and his friends, it's not like I could argue about that. They're literally all coming off of two months of training."

Bucky didn't like her answer or how she shrugged him off. He fell back into the seat and crossed his arms.

"Hey, can we stop at Target at the next exit?" Avery turned to Steve. "I would love to stretch my legs." Really, she needed some air and five minutes alone with Bucky. The last thing she wanted was for him to go into this weekend - a weekend she wanted to be relaxing for him, Sam and Steve - with a sour, apprehensive attitude.

Steve agreed to her request and soon enough, they were pulling into the large Target parking lot. Avery climbed out of the front seat and stretched her arms up, securing her purse across her body.

"I would also like to vote for a 20 minute shopping break. Is that okay?"

Steve squeezed Avery's forearm quickly and nodded with a laugh. "Sure. I'll grab coffees." Sam walked ahead towards the store beside Steve while Avery waited for Bucky.

Bucky slinked out of the backseat, body still tense with new nerves. Avery tugged at his hand before he could dig it into his pocket to sulk, squeezing it as she locked their fingers together.

"C'mon," Avery started towards the store, pulling him along at her side. Her sandals flopped under her feet along the asphalt as Bucky shuffled behind her. "Are you just gonna be mad all weekend now?"

"Avery," Bucky stopped her once they were inside the large red automatic doors. He stopped to glance around the store. He had only been in a few big box retail stores since being reintroduced to his new century and easily found himself overwhelmed in the large spaces. This store though, _Target_ , was bright and welcoming, in a weird way. The big open spaces didn't lead him to feel confined, at least. He swept his eyes along the store signage, taking note of any directional exit lighting _just in case_.

"Come with me." Avery nudged him again, leading him further into the store. She loved Target just like any person, filled with cute, inexpensive fashion, unneeded housewares and plenty of snack options. But, she had her own mission this time.

Mission: Bucky Needs A Quick Summer Wardrobe.

Bucky trailed behind her as she rambled about Bucky's clothes. When they reached the men's clothing department, she paused to glance at him, up and down to take in his size.

"Do you wear a medium or a large? I would assume a large because well, I've seen your upper body and those arms would probably do damage to a medium tee."

"Avery," Bucky repeated her name, grabbing a hold of her hand to stop her from moving. "I'm not going to just pretend to be okay with that predator hanging around you all weekend."

"Bucky." Avery let out a long breath and moved closer to him, grabbing his hands with her own. "Please don't think I'm just _okay_ with all of this. I would obviously rather he not be there. But you've gotta understand it's not easy… to.." She pouted for a moment to find her words. "I just want to have a fun few days with you and Steve, okay?"

Bucky watched carefully as she talked to him. It was clear she was uncomfortable talking about it and he regretted his reaction now. Her face looked momentarily anguished as she searched for another response. That look really made Bucky's heart sink. He knew she was looking forward to this whole event and it wasn't fair for him to project these worries onto her.

"I know. I want that too, doll. I'm sorry. Let's not worry about.." He shook his head then smiled, squeezing her hands. "I'm sure a size large will work for me."

Avery relaxed her shoulders and matched his smile. That was a good enough compromise on the topic at hand for the time being.

Now, clothes.

She worked quickly but gently, asking Bucky for his opinions on colour. It was clear he preferred dark tones, greys and blacks especially. Avery picked out a few graphic t-shirts - Bucky said a hard no to a shirt that said _Lord, Beer Me Strength_ \- and tanks that were a bit more exciting on the colour spectrum, plus a pair of cargo shorts. Next, she insisted he needed a pair of sandals to swap his boots for. That was the most she could get him to compromise on but to Avery, it felt like a small win.

Before they made it to the front of the store, she pulled him towards the seasonal wear section. She grabbed a pair of swim trunks, holding them up on the hanger to propose the option to him. He shrugged.

"How about we get them.." Avery started. "So you have the option. Please?"

"Fine." Bucky conceded, looking around the aisle before _something_ caught his eye. "Actually. I'll get those..if I can also buy you that."

Avery followed his gaze, landing her eyes on a display of women's swimsuits. Bucky walked over and pulled a very patriotic _Captain America_ themed suit off the rack - the bottoms were a navy blue and high waisted, while the top was decorated with the pattern of his shield on one cup and an American flag on the other. Admittedly, it was poorly designed and particularly tacky.

"Stevie will lose his mind." A childish grin grew on Bucky's face, glancing from the swimsuit back to Avery, who was standing with a hand on her hip.

"Are you serious?"

"Please, doll. It'll be worth it." He held it up in front of her, as if to make sure he had grabbed the right size.

"Fine," Avery enjoyed seeing the excitement on his face. "You have to be honest with me for a second then."

"About what?"

"Does Steve have feelings for me, too? Because I think you're enjoying this whole dance we're doing a bit too much, Buck."

Bucky narrowed his eyes on her, a smirk on his face. "I promised I wouldn't say anything." He leaned in closely to her, his lips just apart from hers. "I do know he's not gonna make the first move, though."

Avery scrunched her face together, letting out an irritated sigh. She leaned in and kissed him, reaching her hand up to hold onto his face. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

Bucky raised his eyebrows up and down quickly, then grabbed her hand and led her towards the front of the store. "C'mon, I'm sure they're waiting for us."

* * *

The rest of the trip went by a lot more comfortably. Avery picked up some Gravol and ginger-ale before they left the store, strapping into the backseat with Bucky while Sam took over driving.

"Wilson, move your seat up."

"No can do, dude."

Steve navigated from the passenger seat, curating the playlist and sharing a few snacks with Sam as they went along.

Her car sickness was kept at bay for the most part and she shifted her attention to the backroads as they approached the lake. It was just before eight o'clock when they finally hit the driveway to the property. Avery's face lit up with excitement as the house came into view.

Ahead of them was a large rustic two-storey house, surrounded by a wrap around deck. From the backside in the soft light of the sunset, there were twinkling lights hanging around the porch area. The lawn sprawled to the right and sloped down towards the water. Further down to the right was another building, the original family cabin that had been replaced with the large homestead. Avery directed Sam to park to the side of the garage and as soon as the vehicle stopped, she was quick to throw her door open and jump out.

She hurried towards the back porch where the door opened and her dad stepped out, tea towel thrown over his shoulder, throwing his arms out to the side with excitement. Beside him, a large golden retriever bounded down, running past Avery's legs and over towards the three men standing near the garage.

Louis Felix Senior was a weathered man with a head of salt-and-pepper hair and laugh lines that surrounded his smile. Despite his prosthetic leg, he always moved with a firm purpose and bounding down the stairs to greet his daughter proved no different. "Hello sunshine!" His voice sounded out, loud and gravelly. As Avery met him on the bottom step, his arms surrounded her in a big hug. "It's so good to see you, Avery Ray."

"You too, dad," Avery replied as she pulled away from him. She couldn't help but give him a quick analysis. He looked pretty good - though she couldn't help but worry. There was colour in his face, complete with rosey cheeks and his smile felt so real. "There's some people I want you to meet, c'mon."

She tugged on her dad's hand, leading him a few steps towards the SUV. Steve was unpacking the bags from the SUV while Sam and Bucky were greeting the dog.

"I see you've all met Thor," Avery said with a cheeky smile, reaching down to scratch behind the ears of the excited pooch.

"You're kidding," Steve said as the three of them laughed. "I mean, it's fitting."

Bucky took a deep breath and centered himself, meeting Avery's eyes as she stood in front of them. Her eyes urged him forward and Bucky extended his right hand towards Avery's father.

Avery took a deep breath and looked between the two men. "Dad, this is my boyfriend Bucky."

Louis clamped his hand on Bucky's, eyes locked together. It was as if each of them were getting a feel for the other and to Avery, it felt like the moment was lasting way longer than it should.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," Bucky's tone was strong and level as he spoke, pulling his hand away.

Louis let out the breath he was holding and finally a smile cracked on his face. "You too, son. You know, I was going to make some smartass comment about the name Bucky but then I remembered we've been calling my own son Nash his whole life and I couldn't even tell you why."

Avery could feel her whole body relax as her dad spoke so casually. She wasn't going to admit it but she had been incredibly nervous for Bucky and her dad to meet.

"Well, you can call me James instead if that helps, sir. James Barnes." Bucky nodded, taking a step back to stand beside Avery. She snaked her hand behind him, drawing circles on his lower back.

"Sam Wilson, sir." Avery watched as Sam greeted her father with a handshake as well.

Then, after closing the back hatch of the SUV, Steve completed their small circle and extended his hand out. "Steve Rogers. Thank you for having us this weekend, sir. Avery has told us so much about this place, we're grateful you're sharing it with some strangers."

"First, let's all cut the _sir_ stuff." Louis waved his hand at the three of them which caused Avery to laugh. "You can call me Lou."

"You're looking at three military boys, dad," she said, garnering nods from Steve, Sam and Bucky.

Louis crossed his arms with a hard laugh. "And you said you'd never date a soldier, Avery Ray."

"Is that so?" Steve raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his face.

Bucky stifled a laugh, too, squeezing her shoulder. "Huh."

"Oh, save it," she chided them both, rolling her eyes.

Louis shifted his footing to look at the three guests again. "So you all served?"

"Yes, sir," Sam replied quickly, shaking his head as Louis gave him a stiff stare. "Air Force, pararescue."

"Sometime ago but yes. Armed forces," Bucky clamped his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"107th," Steve nodded in agreement. He hesitated, looking towards Avery with a sly smile. "World War Two."

Louis moved his arms from his chest, staring at Bucky and Steve. "What did you just say?"

Avery pursed her lips together, holding back a smile. "Dad, this is Steve Rogers. Like, _the_ Steve Rogers." She watched as her dad's eyes grew wide, looking back at his daughter.

"Avery, you didn't think to tell me you were bringing Captain America with you here this weekend?" Louis' voice was exclaiming in an excited uproar. "I mean..how.. What? Wow."

A childlike wonder seemed to appear on her dad's face as he reached his arms out to give Steve a hug. Avery burst out laughing then, giving Steve an apologetic stare as she met his eyes. He just shook his head, smiling, as if to tell her it was okay.

"Captain America," Louis repeated, shaking his head again. "It's an honour to meet you."

"You can just call me Steve, Lou," Steve replied, patting the man on the back.

Soon enough, Lou was leading them all back towards the house, quickly trapping Steve in a conversation. Sam and Bucky followed behind, laughing to each other.

The inside of the house was just as grand and _rustic_ as the outside. The main part of the house was composed of a great room, complete with vaulted ceilings and beautiful pine support beams in front of a large wall of windows overlooking the lake. Upstairs was a large loft with two bedrooms and a bathroom, while the main floor housed another bedroom, a washroom, the living room, and kitchen area. There was a staircase leading downstairs to a rec room that opened out to the lawn.

They all stood around the kitchen as Avery explained the house and the property. There were a few trays of snacks and sandwiches laid out on the counter, which Sam and Bucky started into while Steve stood to the side with Lou.

"We'll be bunking in the old cabin," she said, motioning her hand outside. "Dad calls it the barracks so you'll fit right in. There's a queen bed and a pull out and a few bunk beds."

"As long as I don't have to sleep outside," Sam said, nodding approvingly. "The only reason I agreed to this is the roof over my head and the indoor plumbing. And you promised me s'mores, Felix."

"Sam, live a little, buddy," Avery nudged his arm with a laugh. She turned to her dad next, about to inquire where her sister was when a quiet shriek sounded out from the loft above.

"Avery, finally!" Avery turned to see Lora hurrying down the wooden staircase at the side of the room, dark brown hair cropped to her shoulders, bright blue floral dress swirling as she descended. Her eyes went wide as she looked around towards the guests. "Did you bring half a football team with you?"

Of course the second sentence out of her sister's mouth had to be some smart comment but it felt like home nonetheless. Avery and her sister hadn't always gotten along but time and distance and an evaluation of what matters in life after being gone for five years seemed to have brought them closer together in the last year. Lora was the serious type - she set her sight on something and pursued it. She was the top of her class in nursing school and even now had a penchant for proving other people wrong. It was just part of her quippy nature and Avery loved her for it.

Avery let out a long breath, eyes wide for a brief moment as she turned away from Sam and Bucky, walking to meet her sister at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Lo." She pulled her into a tight hug.

"No, she did bring a couple of Avengers though," Lou answered, taking a break from his conversation with Steve.

"Lora, that's Steve," Avery pointed to each of the boys as she introduced them. "Sam and Bucky."

"Oh, the phone guy, right." Lora waved at them all, pointing at Bucky directly. She turned her head to her sister and lowered her voice. "Which one are you dating?"

Avery swallowed hard for a second, hissing at her sister. "Bucky." Her eyes darted towards him then to Steve. Keeping her voice just as low, "Uhm, where is the mysterious Suzanne?"

Lora smirked, hooking her arm with Avery's as they headed towards the kitchen where Sam and Bucky were chatting. "She'll be here tomorrow and you'll love her. So please try to keep an open mind, Ave."

Avery pouted at her sister. "C'mon, what do you think I'm going to do? Completely overreact and freak out?"

Lora was stone faced as she turned to her sister, grabbing onto her elbow. "Yes. That's exactly what I think you'll do. You're just always so wound up."

Bucky nearly choked on whatever he was eating when he heard Lora's comment. Avery sent him an irritated glare, blushing at his reaction. Sam slapped a hand on his back with a laugh.

"Did you have something to add to this conversation, Bucky?" Avery asked him, eyes wide with a playful energy. She leaned over the counter, tilting her head.

Bucky swallowed and shook his head, leaning in to meet her with a kiss. "Nope. Nothing at all, doll."

Lora's fiancee Allie joined them from upstairs next, greeting _everyone_ with a hug. She took a quick liking to Bucky, gently inquiring about his hand. She seemed to not mind his short answers and reserved attitude and Avery was so grateful to see him actually _smiling_ as they talked. Their whole group wound up sitting outside on the front deck, sprawled across the patio furniture that encircled an outdoor heater. Above them, the sky turned dark with sparkling stars and hanging lights above them glistened in the gentle breeze.

Avery sat between Steve and Bucky, filling in her father on how she met the boys. Her dad joked that her terrible cooking skills seemed to prove good for something, even if it was just to meet new people in her building. They spoke very briefly and delicately about Bucky's past - they steered clear of mentioning HYDRA at all - and what he and Sam do for work now. For the most part, all four of the men wrapped themselves up in swapping war stories from their time serving over the years.

Avery paused her father before he jumped into his long winded story about how he lost his leg, requesting assistance moving their bags down to the smaller cabin.

"Then it's time for the inaugural swim, right?" Lora stood up, grabbing Allie's hand as she did. "Girls only."

"I'll meet you at the dock," Avery told her sister, leading Sam, Steve and Bucky back to the driveway to retrieve all their bags.

The smaller side cabin was the original family home and it was much less appealing than the main house. Inside, there was a small kitchenette decorated with vintage linoleum floors, a small sitting area housing a VCR and dated television system, plus two bedrooms. One room was lined with three sets of bunk beds and the other had a queen sized bed and a pull out couch.

"Sometimes I miss a good bunk bed sleep," Sam commented with a laugh, tossing his bag into the first bedroom on one of the bottom beds. The other three proceeded further into the cabin, retreating into the other room.

"Steve, you can have the pull out or a bunk or tonight you can have the bed in the rec room in the house," Avery rambled on as she dropped her bag on the floor, smiling as Bucky laid down on the bed, hands behind his head. The walls were dark wood panels, accented by contrasting wood furniture that was much older than Avery. To her, this small little place was really it. She had so many memories of sleepovers and late night laughs and crying and growing up in this cabin. She wanted to have both Steve and Bucky there with her but at what point did she just admit that out loud. "I mean, Nash will get it tomorrow but -

"I'll sleep on the pull out," he answered quickly, pursing his lips together. He wanted to stay close by to both of them. He dropped down to sit on the couch, looking over at her as she started to unpack her bag.

"How come this _inaugural swim_ is girls only?" Bucky sat up, raising an eyebrow at Avery.

"No suits?" Steve chimed in, mirroring Bucky's look causing Avery to roll her eyes with a groan.

"You wish," Avery turned to smile at Steve. "Like I would skinny dip off the dock. That's what Hidden Point is for."

"Promise me you'll take us to whatever Hidden Point is," Bucky was quick to reply, biting his lip.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," she said quietly, avoiding their eyes as she continued searching her bag. "Now, you can both go back to the house while I change."

Bucky was going to protest but Steve stood up quickly, motioning his head to the door. "You heard the lady." He knocked on Bucky's boots. "Maybe swap these for sandals, too." Bucky muttered to himself and stood up the same, stealing a kiss away from Avery as they rejoined Sam in the other room. She heard them exit together and she flopped down onto the bed for a minute, catching her breath.

She changed into a plain black bikini and headed down towards the dock and beach at the bottom of the property. The warm breeze knocked lazy waves upon the shore and as she approached her sister and future sister-in-law at the dock, she could hear the sound of laughter sounding from the deck above them. She hummed happily to herself as she took in the noise - picturing her dad in the middle of his embellished story, with Sam peppering in curious questions and both Bucky and Steve providing commentary along the way. The fact that they were all getting along put her at ease. She dropped her towel and tore off her sweatshirt, slowly walking down the dock towards the other two.

"So, what's up with you and Steve?" Allie was quick to ask, reaching to tie up her long black hair into a ponytail above her head. Avery caught her almond eyes in the moonlight, peering at her with curiosity. Sometimes Allie's inquisitive attitude was overwhelming.

"What do you even mean? She's with that Bucky guy," Lora said as she smoothed out the sleek one piece covering her body.

"Okay but do you see the way Steve looks at her?"

"This conversation needs to end," Avery laughed, hoping to change topics quickly. "My love life is not your concern." Before the other two could add any other comments, Avery darted off the deck and leapt into the water with an excited yell.

The water was alarmingly cool, causing Avery to gasp for air as she broke the surface. Two additional splashes sounded out, hearing giggles coming from her sister as she dove towards her. Avery stood up, the water levelling out just below her shoulders. Suddenly, Lora was bounding towards her, wrapping her arms around her neck to pull her back in.

The girls spent a while out there, diving and floating in the moonlight. Afterwards, they sat at the edge of the dock, towels on their shoulders and feet dangling across the moving water below them. Lora leaned her head to the side, resting for a moment on her sister's shoulder.

"It's weird without mom here, Ave. But at least we have each other, you know?"

Avery smiled to herself. Maybe Lora's long time spent with her partner was causing her to be in tune with everyone's emotions, too. Avery was enjoying the happy feelings but in the darkness, in the quiet of the evening, those sad feelings seemed to find the time to surface, too. "I know. Thank you for saying it out loud, Lo."

"It's too early on in the weekend to cry, you guys," Allie sounded out from the other side of Lora, kicking her feet up to spray water.

"I'm calling it now - by the time Sunday rolls around, Dad is going to insist Captain America come to our wedding," Lora said, nudging her sister. "You realize he's going to pine over Steve all weekend, right?"

Avery just smiled, stifling a yawn. She was going to be pining over him, too.

They heard a set of feet approaching behind them, slapping quietly along the wooden dock. Avery turned her head to see Bucky standing a few feet away. "Me an' Steve are gonna turn in. Wanted to make sure you hadn't drowned out here."

"Not drowned, just a bit cold." She gave him a coy smile. "Gonna warm me up?"

"Uhm, gross, Avery," Lora said, giving her a gentle shove on the shoulder.

Avery didn't realize the time but she figured it must be pretty late now. Her eyes darted back up towards the deck, where she could still hear faint echoes of Sam's laughter.

"Sam's still swapping stories with your dad," Bucky filled in her thoughts, extending his hand to help her up. "He's on his fourth beer." He grabbed her discarded sweatshirt from the deck, tossing it over his shoulder.

Avery just smiled, taking his hand and returning to her feet, towel hugging her shoulders. Lora and Allie remained on dock, saying goodnight as they walked back towards the cabin.

Bucky gripped Avery's hand in his as they walked quietly through the grass.

"I hope you didn't feel like I completely abandoned you guys with my dad," Avery started as they walked into the cabin.

"Nah, we survived," Bucky replied to her. She scanned his face and was surprised to see him looking so genuinely at ease. She grabbed a hold of his hand once they were in the kitchen, pulling him close towards her. Leaning up onto her toes, she pressed her lips against him. "He was happy to listen to whatever silly story Steve had to tell."

Avery sighed, unable to stop the smile on her face. "I'm glad. I'm just going to rinse off then I'm serious about needing your body heat." She headed down the hall towards the small bathroom, finding Steve standing in front of the sink, rinsing after brushing his teeth.

"I hear you're my dad's new favourite," she said, leaning against the door frame and staring at him through the mirror. Steve met her eyes, cheeks blushing red. At first, she assumed it was because of her comment then she realized she was standing in just her bikini in front of him. She noticed his gaze drop for a moment, before he straightened up and coughed to clear his throat.

"He's a good guy, your dad," Steve stammered out as Avery slinked past him towards the shower. She turned to look at him over her shoulder and smiled as he left the room.

After a lukewarm rinse from the old shower, Avery wrapped herself back into her towel and padded quietly towards the bedroom. She could hear Bucky and Steve talking still. The room was mainly dark, save from the lamp on Bucky's side of the bed letting off a low illumination. Their conversation continued even as Avery got into the room. She half listened to their discussion, going on mainly about how fitting it was that their family dog was called Thor and the pictures they needed to send to the rest of the team.

"How was the lake?" Steve asked from his bed across the room.

"Refreshing," she replied with a laugh, pulling on a pair of athletic shorts before dropping her towel. She turned towards the wall to put on a shirt, then combed her fingers through her damp hair before climbing into the bed beside Bucky. "Bit cold, though."

He reached over to flick off the lamp then turned, pressing his body against Avery's. His arm wrapped around her stomach as they laid on their sides, facing towards Steve.

A strange silence fell between the three of them before Bucky spoke. "Stevie?"

"Hmmm?" Steve's voice was quiet across the room.

"We might need your body heat over here, too," Bucky called out, smirking to himself in the dark. He nuzzled into Avery's neck. "If neither of you are going to make the first move.."

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat, grabbing onto Bucky's hand as it rested on her stomach. "You're the worst."

"I'm the best, doll." Bucky propped himself up for a minute and peered across the room towards Steve, who didn't reply or move after the request. "Get your ass over here, punk."

They heard the old springs of the pull out shift and Steve's feet hit the soft carpeted floor. He took a few steps towards their bed then hesitated. "Are you su-

"C'mon." Avery reached her hand out to try and grab his, but when she couldn't find it she just patted down on the empty space in front of her. "I'm sure."

The bed shifted as Steve joined them, moving back the covers for a moment then shifting to his side, facing Avery. All three of them just laid there in silence for a few moments, the only sounds coming from outside the cabin or their shallow breathing.

Avery reached her hand out to find Steve's. She squeezed it gently, then placed it on her hip. He was stiff at first, then his hand splayed out across her. Bucky's left arm remained locked over her stomach, the front of his body pressing warmth into her back. She could hear him smiling to himself.

"Thank you both for being so kind to my family," she said quietly, trailing her hand slowly up Steve's chest. There wasn't much space between the three of them now. Avery was just under Steve's chin, her head balancing between both the pillows.

"Of course," Bucky mumbled out, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"We know they're important to you, Ave," Steve responded just as quietly, his hand gently squeezing her hip.

"You're important to me, too." She closed her eyes, moving her hand upwards. It trailed gently across Steve's chest, against the smooth skin of his neck then she stopped and cradled his jaw. She felt his breath hitch at her touch. "Both of you are important to me."

Bucky held on even tighter, anticipating what was about to happen.

"Avery." Steve's whisper was barely audible as he felt her lips brush against his. A gentle moan sounded from his throat as he gave in, pressing against her with a matched passion. His hand gripped onto her hip tightly, moving to be as close to her as possible.

A few moments later, Avery slowly pulled away, letting out a happy sigh.

Bucky chuckled behind her, moving his hand off of her for a moment to give Steve a playful shove. "Fucking finally."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BUCKY RIGHT NOW. FINALLY.
> 
> I didn't mean for this to be so long but I always have a final scene in mind and this was it! Honestly, ever since I dreamed up this little story and Avery started to develop in my mind, I have been waiting for this weekend at the lakehouse! This is just the beginning but hooooo, here we go.
> 
> Before I get carried away, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I appreciate having you here - seriously. Every subscription, view, alert and comment make me so happy.
> 
> Coming up next: Seems Louis Sr. was an easy buy in on these boys but.. We shall see how the rest of the weekend goes. I mean, it's one thing to win over her dad but will big brother Nash buy in, too? It's a weekend at the lake! It's going to be easy, right?
> 
> Will Bucky be able to contain his overwhelming smugness over his best friend and girlfriend figuring this out? Can Steve and Avery keep it in their pants? Bucky's past is..locked away in the archives, right? Will someone get punched out by a super soldier? Will Sam get to make a s'more?


	17. Jump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-chapter notes: there is a lot of 'original characters' coming into play here as we meet up with all of Avery's family and family friends, etc. Hopefully it's clear enough and not overwhelming how they all interact and move things along. As a quick 'face claim' note, here's what I have imagined for a few people here: Jesse Lee Soffer as Nash, David Castaneda as Luke, Stephen Amell as Charlie, Krysta Rodrigues as Kasey, and Gina Torres as Suzanne. This is just to help but not necessary to remember as you go along.
> 
> Second note: we met Luke, Sienna and Charlie at the barcade in Chapter 4. And last chapter I misnamed Luke as Sean. Editing error!

" _Avery." Steve's whisper was barely audible as he felt her lips brush against his. A gentle moan sounded from his throat as he gave in, pressing against her with a matched passion. His hand gripped onto her hip tightly, moving to be as close to her as possible._

_A few moments later, Avery slowly pulled away, letting out a happy sigh._

_Bucky chuckled behind her, moving his hand off of her for a moment to give Steve a playful shove. "Fucking finally."_

Steve rolled his eyes, reaching over Avery to shove Bucky the same way. "Less profanity, Buck."

Avery couldn't help but giggle between them, pulling Steve's arm back. "Can you two not?"

The cabin, that bed, was transformed into a bubble of possibility all of a sudden. With this barrier broken down, there was a certain sense of freedom for all three of them. The scratchy blankets were a protective cover, a reminder of security. Outside, gentle winds and far off sounds of the natural environment removed them from the rest of the world.

The moment the three of them were sharing was a new beginning - the first page of _something._

Avery pressed another kiss to Steve's lips, pushing past his smile with her tongue. Another quiet moan left him as she clutched onto the bottom hem of his shirt, as if he might disappear if she wasn't holding on. Behind her, Bucky sighed to himself, pushing even closer to her back.

Warm.

Safe.

"Hey," Steve pulled away, laughing lightly as Avery chewed on his lip. "You really said you'd never date a soldier?"

Avery held her breath for a moment, recalling her dad's comment from earlier.

"Cause you're dating _two_ soldiers now, doll," Bucky added in, laying a kiss on the side of her neck.

"Well," Avery quietly pieced together her reply. "I don't know how it was back when you guys enlisted, but considering I grew up surrounded by a ton of obnoxious, rude, self-serving military types, servicemen were never something I saw as potential life partners. Don't get me wrong, they were mostly very respectful _to me_ but the way they talked about women at times was not very nice." She shuffled, slightly, to lay on her back to gaze between Steve and Bucky. "I went on one date with a soldier and.." Avery trailed off, closing her eyes. "Let's just say it turned me off dating anyone in the military or any of my brothers' friends ever again."

It almost made Avery laugh when she felt both of them tense up as she finished talking. She didn't intend for _this_ topic to derail _this_ moment. If only she could go back in time by just a few minutes, she'd make a terrible joke about how dating a soldier is like dating a copy of her brother or dad or _something_ to ease the tension instead of creating more.

"Was that one date with Charlie fucking Porter?" Bucky propped himself up on one elbow to look down at Avery. The moonlight streaming in from the far window cast a strip of white light across her face.

She was anxious.

"Buck," Steve's reply had a warning tone.

"Can we just go back to the kissing and cuddling?" Avery asked quietly, trying to pull the blanket up over her head. Steve's hand stopped the blanket before she lost herself under it.

"Avery," Steve's voice was smooth, gentle.

"You both saw what Charlie tried to do in a parking lot, let's just say he was even more aggressive in the front seat of his truck years ago after our date." She shook her head.

"I'm gonna kill him," Bucky muttered out with a growl and Avery swatted his chest. "Okay, fine. But I have been meeting to test and make sure my arm is calibrated for close range punching…"

"Bucky, please," Avery couldn't help but laugh. "It was a long time ago and I'm okay now, aside from some residual anger. As long as he keeps his distance from me, this weekend will be enjoyable for everyone." She took in a deep breath. "Plus, I think if anyone is going to punch him, I should get first dibs."

It was Steve who laughed next. For some strange reason, his heart strings pulled at the idea of having to reign in both of the scrappy, impulsive people sharing the bed with him. "I suppose that's fair. But I think perhaps the goal should be no fist fights this weekend." He leaned in and kissed her forehead, taking a breath. "Now, what about other physical activities?"

Bucky, who had been stewing across the bed, let out a quiet sigh. He was still frustrated but figured it was easier to keep that to himself. There were more important things to concern himself with, particularly the two laying in bed with him. "That's a good question. Ave?"

Avery sighed. "Well, swimming. Sometimes we'll do touch football or soccer. There's some kayaks, dad has somehow collected a bunch of Sea-dos, we used to go tubing off the little boat but we've upgraded to a pontoon now…" She trailed off again when she felt Bucky's hand roaming down her body.

Oh. _Physical_ activities.

"I think.." Avery let out a gasp when she felt Bucky's lips on her neck. "..a conversation needs to happen before.."

Steve's mouth trailed down the other side of her neck.

Bold. These boys were _bold._

"Fuck," she muttered out, grasping onto the blanket. "Hey! As much as I hate to stop you both, we've gotta slow down and talk about all this. Before the real physical activity."

Steve pulled back first, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, you're right. I should have asked or -

"Steve, It's okay. I want all of this, you and Bucky. But I don't want to mess it up by diving into something we aren't ready for." She let out a happy groan and pushed Bucky away from her neck. "Read the room, Buck."

Bucky responded with a pout, quickly planting a kiss onto her lips. "Sorry, doll. You're just irresistible."

"He's right about that," Steve said quietly, leaning to kiss her just the same. "But you're right, too. At least one of us is level headed."

"Helps that I can think with my upstairs brain," Avery joked, glancing between them as she yawned. "Unlike you two right now."

Just mentioning their obvious arousal made Steve blush while Bucky smirked. "Guilty."

"Now, let's go back to _this_ moment," Avery said wistfully, shuffling onto her side again, pressing her back to Bucky's chest. She reached forward and pulled on Steve's shirt, tugging him closer like before. "This is..nice. I like this."

"Me too," Steve murmured, kissing the top of her head. He draped his arm across her, resting his hand on Bucky's hip.

Bucky nodded in agreement. _Fucking finally._

* * *

By morning, Avery could understand why Steve had a king sized bed. While the idea of sleeping with both Steve and Bucky had been romantic, overlapping limbs and the warm, stuffy morning air of the cabin killed the romance pretty quickly.

Avery was laying on her stomach when she stirred awake, halfway onto Steve's chest. Bucky's arm was hooked around her back as he lay flat beside her, head turned towards the outside wall of the bedroom. The heavy, scratchy comforter had been kicked off, leaving them draped in just a light bed sheet instead. Both boys were hugging the edge of the bed. She tilted her head upwards to see Steve sleeping peacefully and a quiet snore was coming from Bucky on her other side.

Avery pushed herself up, slowly as to not disturb either of them and arched her back to stretch. She let out a happy sigh then stifled a laugh as Bucky's left hand moved from the small of her back onto her ass, firmly grabbing on. He flipped his head quickly, looking up to meet her eyes, a coy half smile on her face.

"Morning," she said quietly.

Steve shifted beside them, eyes peeling open slowly. Clearly her attempt at being quiet was useless with these two.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she said at a lower register, shifting to sit up on her knees. "I was going to go for a swim. Wanna come?"

"Pretty early for that, ain't it?" Bucky mumbled out, moving his hand from her backside and trailing it down her upper thigh.

Avery glanced at a small clock on the adjacent wall. "Just about seven… I'm sure Lora is already starting on breakfast so the world is awake," she replied with a shrug. "Who's coming?"

She stood up and climbed over Steve on the side of the bed, pausing to give him a kiss. He looked almost surprised as she did, as if maybe everything that happened last night had been a dream. If she was being honest, she felt a bit out of body in that moment too. "I assume Bucky is opting out but will you join me?"

"Hey," Bucky called her attention as he sat up in bed. "Why don't I get a morning kiss?"

She smirked and walked over to give into his request, then playfully pushed him back towards the pillows. Before either of them could say anything else, she bounced down the hall to the other room and knocked on the door. "Sam! Polar bear swim? I know you're braver than Bucky."

Bucky's voice came out from down the hall. "I heard that!"

She pushed the door open and heard a laugh escape the bottom bunk across the room.

"Damn straight I am," Sam replied with a gravelly morning voice. He sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "I'm in."

Ten minutes later, Avery, Steve and Sam were in their preferred swimming gear heading down towards the lower property on the water.

Avery was back in her black bikini, still damp from the night before with her hair piled on top of her head in a bun. She wrapped a towel around her shoulders, smiling wide as they approached the dock and small beach lined shore.

"We're jumping in? Right off the dock?" Sam said cautiously, kicking off his sandals as they stopped walking. He glanced nervously towards Avery and Steve. "It's going to be cold."

"No better way to wake up though," Avery replied with a laugh, dropping her towel down.

"I could think of better ways to wake up," Sam grunted, letting out a long sigh. He closed his eyes for a brief moment then let out a quiet yell, running towards the end of the dock and launching himself in the water.

Steve laughed as he watched Sam's antics, then leaned over to Avery. "I also think there are a lot better ways to wake up," he whispered against her neck. Without looking over at him, she knew he was smiling. Or rather smirking.

Did Bucky teach him to smirk like that?

_God, she was in trouble._

She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, starting her feet at a similar pace to Sam's run. Steve gripped tightly and followed, leaping in with a guttural scream.

The water was just as cool and refreshing as the night before but in the warm morning light, which crept over the trees behind the house, Avery didn't feel a chill down to her bones. Instead, an electricity ran through her veins as Sam and Steve laughed and swam beside her. She looked up towards the house and saw her dad standing on the deck, mug of coffee in his hands, watching with a smile on his face.

She spotted Bucky next, emerging from the smaller cabin, haphazardly dressed in a hoodie and some shorts, padding barefoot across the lawn where Allie was sitting on a yoga mat. A wave of relief washed through her when she saw him out there, on his own, doing something. Not that he lacked independence, but she had been worried he might hide out all weekend if she wasn't nearby. Avery appreciated knowing Allie had taken to him and the thought of them discussing doing yoga together in the morning was comforting.

Avery looked to her right and saw Steve watching him too, a small smile crossing his lips. She took the opportunity to leap over and splash into him, reaching to pull herself up onto his back. "Awake now?"

"Oh, yes," he replied through a laugh, hanging onto her legs as they wrapped around him from the back. Sam followed as Steve climbed out of the water via the beach instead of the dock, Avery still locked onto him piggyback style. He paused to grab their towels then headed back towards the cabin.

* * *

Avery was standing shoulder to shoulder with Bucky after breakfast, passing dishes back and forth as they washed up at the sink. After the morning swim and yoga, everyone sat down in the big great room inside to eat together.

Lora had been up early making French toast for breakfast, complete with fresh fruit and whipped cream. They discussed lazy plans for the day, mainly waiting to see when the boys would be rolling in before kicking things off. They had all flown out late from Dallas the night before and were to drive in from Boston that morning. Their cousin Kasey was supposed to be in by the afternoon, too.

Avery always did the dishes on these weekends - it had been her lot in life since she was young. Her inability to manage to even boil noodles properly lead her to the clean up shift.

"Your lips looked a bit swollen before breakfast, doll," Bucky muttered to her as he rinsed off the plates, giving her a sideways smirk. "And was that a hickey disappearing on Steve's neck?"

Avery nearly dropped the plate she was washing, as her face flushed red. Bucky laughed at her reaction, gently nudging her left shoulder with his right.

"We may have...made out a bit after our swim," Avery said quietly, chewing on her lip. "What? I'm irresistible, apparently."

Bucky grinned happily. "Ave, you have no clue how many ideas I've got in my mind for us three."

She blushed even redder as he spoke. Something she didn't even think would be possible yet she felt like crumbling at the idea of his racy thoughts. "We've really gotta contain ourselves, Bucky."

"Just remember it's Stevie's birthday tomorrow," Bucky replied with a wink. Avery let out a slow sigh, shaking her head as she smiled.

She and Steve had locked lips the minute Sam disappeared from the cabin after his shower. It was a new exciting exploration and Avery could hardly resist. Especially after seeing Steve's chiseled body dripping with water after they swam.

His kisses had been soft and apprehensive, patient and curious. He practiced pausing, to ensure they were on the same page. Avery answered him without speaking, hands tussled in his hair indicating her _yes_. The drag of her fingers on his back screaming _more._ The thrust of her hips toward him saying _exactly what she needed._

Well, not exactly what she needed. She needed more. She wanted more. Not just yet but considering the growing tension between the three of them, she wasn't sure how long they would be able to wait.

Until then, they had to be slow.

_Slow._

Following their duty in the kitchen, Bucky and Avery joined everyone else outside on the deck. Well, every minus Sam and Steve who were running through the lower lawn playing with the eager golden retriever.

Lou seemed to have escaped out to his garage to work on something, too.

Bucky sat quietly beside Avery, arm draped over her shoulder as she sipped her coffee. She turned to Allie and Lora, who were lounging on the outdoor loveseat to their left, prodding about the upcoming wedding.

Lora raised one of her eyebrows, sitting forward on the couch to look at her sister. "Are you bringing Bucky to the wedding?"

Avery's eyes went wide, mouth scrunching into an irritated pout as her sister smirked. The thought had crossed her mind a few times, of course. She would love to have Bucky at her side at her sister's - dressed in a well cut suit, hands running across her back as they slowly danced, hiding away in a hotel room for the rest of the night after the speeches and cake.

But now, it felt unfair somehow. Her eyes flicked to Bucky then down the lawn, catching Steve in a moment of laughter, hand grasping at his chest as he chatted with Sam.

"She still hasn't confirmed her plus one, that's all," Lora continued, feigning innocence as Allie nudged her side.

Bucky squeezed Avery's shoulder, thumb grazing against the soft fabric of her t-shirt.

Avery turned her head to look at him, half a smile crossing his lips. "I have been meaning to ask you, of course. But leave it to my sister to put me on the spot."

"I'd love to be your arm candy, doll," Bucky replied with a nod. Avery let out a breath of relief, leaning into him to kiss his cheek.

"Well, that's settled," Lora said joyfully, clapping her hands together quickly. "You're officially on the seating chart."

Allie glanced at her, cheeky smile bright on her face. "You can go update it now, if you want, babe."

Lora looked embarrassed for a brief second then bounced up with a happy nod, tearing back into the house. Avery just smiled at her sister's excitement, as Allie sipped her mug of tea, explaining how detailed and passionate Lora had been about the wedding plans.

Everytime Avery was around her sister and her partner, she was reminded that sometimes relationships don't always make sense on the outside. Lora, who grew up as a babied youngest child, a tried and true 'daddy's girl' who lacked independence for a long time, blossomed and came into her own when she went away to university. She surprised the family by bringing home a _girlfriend_ over the holidays and, well, life just sort of slotted into place from there. Lora's straight forward determined attitude was balanced perfectly by Allie, who helped her dream sometimes, encouraging her to relax and applauding the quirks others may find irritating.

It warmed Avery's heart to see her sister find a partner she loved and had support from. She leaned back onto Bucky and they sat there quietly, listening to the laughter from Sam and Steve below them.

They wound up lost in conversation with Allie and eventually were joined again by Lora, then Steve and Sam and a tired out Thor sitting at their feet.

Slowly, the sun was warming them up and the day ahead was calling for time on the water.

From the back of the house, they could suddenly hear some vehicle doors closing and an array of voices sounding out.

"I hope you're ready for Nash and the boys," Avery said with a small smile, as the sound of overlapping conversations approached the side of the house toward the lawn.

"So, who can explain why there's a goddamn armoured Suburban sitting in the driveway?" Avery stood up off the couch and headed towards the staircase leading off the deck, catching her brother's eyes as he headed up towards her.

Ever since Jeremy and Nash enlisted years ago, Avery held onto a lot of anxiety whenever her brothers were off on a tour or even off training. Especially when they were unable to communicate regularly. While she would admit her relationship with her brother had gotten better since she had _unvanished_ \- they wouldn't often speak casually before - what they had now, after the last year of making time for each other, meant a lot to her.

Avery chalked it up to a few things. One, losing their brother Jeremy hit Nash in a way no one would understand. Avery had been closer to Jeremy and after his death, she had to find some way to stop putting distance between herself and Nash, too. They still had each other and Lora. Then, losing Avery in the middle of a worldwide crisis must have hit in an entirely different way.

The past was in the past and Nash didn't intend on wasting any more time not having a relationship with his sister. Even if sometimes he was heavy on the tough love or on a completely different spectrum, overbearing and delicate. At the end of the day, she would accept any love he had to give. It was all they had.

"Dad said you brought some surprise guests, Avery Ray." When he reached the top of the stairs, he held his arms out to wrap her in a hug. Before she could relax, Avery scanned her eyes over him for signs of wear and tear. He had been very closed off about his training in Texas but seeing him standing, smiling, and more tan that usual, she could ground herself into his embrace.

Bucky, Steve and Sam stood up and took a few steps across the deck to wait for their opportunity to greet Avery's brother. Lora jumped in next, getting a matching hug and a kiss on her head from Nash.

Bucky wasn't sure what he expected meeting him. The nerves he had meeting Lou seemed to have returned in full force again, eyeing up her brother from afar. He stood just over six feet, broad shoulders wrapped tightly in a plain black t-shirt, showing off a series of tattoos down his right arm. He planted his feet, solid and unyielding even in a pair of cargo shorts and sandals, listening to his sisters intently as they caught up with him quickly. Bucky noticed his eyes dart over towards himself, Steve and Sam as the girls talked. A tight smile crossed his face, glancing back towards Avery.

Lora slipped past her siblings and headed down the stairs, saying her hellos to the rest of the group that had arrived with Nash.

Avery reached a hand out to her brother's forearm before turning around. "Be nice, please."

Nash chuckled, extending his arm around her shoulders as they turned toward the three standing in the middle of the deck. "Which one of you punks is dating my sister?"

Steve shifted, pressing his hand to the small of Bucky's back as he moved ahead.

Avery watched as Bucky swallowed a comment, taking a step forward and extending his hand outwards. "That would be me." He paused as their hands gripped. "Bucky."

"Nash," he responded, sending his eyes up and down his opposition. As if to square him up. Then, his head nodded briefly, to indicate some sort of approval, Bucky guessed.

It wasn't hard to catch the apprehension in Nash as he moved on to shake hands with Steve and Sam, too. Bucky was understanding - he was protective of his sisters too, even when they were just kids.

Avery snaked her arms around him, resting at his side. Comfort.

"So, Captain America and the Falcon." Nash crossed his arms, relaxing a bit as he stood with the boys. "And what do you go by?" His gaze travelled to Bucky.

"Usually nothing," Bucky replied, letting out a breath. That was true. He tried to stay hidden away from the public, working alongside Sam as a silent and invisible partner was working well for the team. His shoulders sank for a quick moment. "The Winter Soldier, I guess."

Steve glanced over and met Bucky's eyes with a reassuring smile. They had many discussions over Bucky's moniker. Was it something they wanted to reclaim? Would using it unravel his past? Steve insisted it was up to him, but Steve thought using it now, supporting the good The Avengers fought for, would be empowering. It could eliminate the fear, help Bucky to heal. He could take back something he didn't want in the first place. He could change the narrative himself.

Nash just nodded, as if it was another level of approval. "Last year this one showed up alone for the July 4th weekend and spent most of it crying on this deck. But now she shows up with three Avengers instead." He pointed his thumb towards Avery, raising a playful eyebrow.

"Uhm, shut up, please," Avery replied, kicking a foot towards her brother which he dodged quickly. "I was in a downward spiral last summer, okay? I've recovered." Nash motioned his head down to the lawn where everyone else had gathered. Luke, his girlfriend Sienna, Charlie and Kasey were chatting away with Lora and Allie.

"We met up with Kasey at the gas station outside of Worcester," Nash said to Avery as they climbed down the stairs. "She let me jump in with her, thank god. Gave me a break from Sienna."

Before Avery could say hello to her cousin, Luke's girlfriend lunged towards her and wrapped her in a hug. Avery smiled politely, unaware their meeting at the bar months ago had left such an impact. She was friendly with the short blonde, asking just enough questions to satisfy her interest and friendship.

There was a flurry of conversations happening as introductions went around the circle.

As Avery lost herself in a discussion with Kasey - who excitedly revealed she landed the job in Manhattan - she caught herself watching Bucky and Steve as they introduced themselves, officially, to Charlie. They were both standing with their arms crossed and she could easily tell the stiff smiles on their face were not genuine. Soon enough, Sam pulled them away into a conversation with Luke instead and Avery felt relieved. Charlie fell back to chat with Nash, leaning to whisper something into his ear.

Even seeing Charlie was bringing an unwanted heat to Avery's chest. Everything about him, from his dirty blonde mess of hair to oversized t-shirt, rubbed her the wrong way. As Lou marched over to them, he greeted their dad with a smarmy smile and Avery wanted to scream. He caught her stare, briefly, raising his eyebrows playfully. She rolled her eyes into the back of her head and looked away.

Avery shook it off and grabbed Kasey's hand. "You need to meet Sam." She dropped her cousin's wrist as they stepped toward the group. As predicted, leading her beautiful, snarky cousin - cropped red hair, bright eyes, tight clothes - to Sam was a slam dunk. Well, at least for Sam. It was clear Kasey's interest was piqued but Avery knew she was the type who liked a chase.

Leaving those two, she turned her attention to Luke, Steve and Bucky. They were already laughing about _something_ and it made Avery smile. So far, so good. Not that she expected anything less from Luke. He was the most down to Earth of all Nash's friends, always wearing a bright smile on his light brown skin. He was telling Steve and Bucky some stories about their recent training camp, earning some interesting follow up questions and looks of respect from the superheros.

Lou, letting out a roaring laugh with Nash, turned to the group and clapped his hands. "So, who's ready for a boat ride?"

* * *

Bucky didn't love open waters. It wasn't fear that dissuaded him, though. It was _bad memories_ that seemed to resurface when he was submerged or there was potential for danger. There was a sense of uncertainty, even on a large, wide boat like the one Avery's dad was commandeering.

A _pontoon boat_ , Avery called it.

Bucky knew how to swim. He kind of remembered swimming in the creek behind his grandparents house when he was young. There had been a flash in his brain before… him and Steve at the pier, chasing after girls on the beach. And during his tenure with HYDRA, he had foggy memories of training drills involving water rescues and testing his lung capacity during deep dives.

The memories of water were both pleasant and haunting.

Watching Steve fall deep into the Potomac River, then dragging out his waterlogged body to the sandy riverbed.

Plummeting, free fall, trapped in the broken seat of a helicopter, only to be rescued by Steve.

Part of him wanted to stay on solid ground, join Sam who was opting to skip the afternoon boating adventure, claiming laying out in the sun was his preferred way to relax. Although Bucky had a feeling he just wanted to hang out with Avery's cousin who was staying to help Allie with some prep in the kitchen.

In the cabin, Bucky pulled on a white long sleeve training shirt, one of those moisture wicking types, watching Steve apply sunscreen to Avery's back as she rambled on about _something._

"The lake isn't huge but just on the west side, around a bend is an abandoned camp lodge with a sand beach. And, if dad can be convinced, we can anchor near this great cliff jumping spot -

"Cliff jumping?" Steve asked, hesitantly moving his hands across Avery's lower back. She smiled as his hands stilled, throwing a small smirk to Bucky.

"Wanna get the back of my legs too?"

Steve swallowed hard, letting out a hard exhale. "Sure, yeah.."

Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed, looking over as Steve crouched down behind her, hands slowly moving down the back of her legs with the white lotion instead. "Make sure you rub that in, Stevie."

Avery giggled at his touch. "There's a rock cut with two big cliffs. Ones about 25ish feet up, the other about 40."

"Sounds dangerous," Bucky said quietly. His aversion to being on the water was compounded by Avery's incessant excitement about it instead. She practically forced him into his new swimming trunks, despite his demands of staying dry on the boat. Although, he loved the idea of seeing Avery wet in the water. She was wearing a floral bikini this time, tied around her neck for support. Her jean shorts left little to his imagination, and even now, watching Steve running his hands over her body, was making Bucky feel things.

"You jump out of vehicles and fight bad guys but jumping off a cliff is scary?" Avery raised an eyebrow at Bucky, a small smirk on her lips.

"I'm staying in the boat either way, doll," Bucky rolled his eyes as he stood.

"Just want you to be safe," Steve added in, voicing Bucky's underlying concern.

"It's safe, don't worry," Avery replied, pulling a white tank top on over her suit. She reached up and released her hair from the bun on top of her head, pushing on a pair of sunglasses. "Plus, Steve's gonna jump with me, anyway."

Steve chuckled, resting a towel across his shoulder as they walked out to the kitchen area of the cabin. "Oh, am I?"

In the other bedroom, everyone else seemed to be settling in and gathering their things for the boat, too. Nash was sleeping in the house while all the other guests were taking up bunk beds in the cabin.

"If I remember correctly, the Steve Rogers I read about in that biography is bold and often too stubborn to back down from a challenge," Avery said with a coy, teasing smile. "But I understand if you're too chicken to jump."

Steve's mouth grew into a wide smile while Bucky released a deep laugh. "Hope you know what you're signing up for with this girl, Stevie."

Avery bit her lip, raising her eyebrows up and down quickly. She glanced around the room and confirming there weren't any curious eyes, she leaned in and pressed a kiss against Steve. He bit her lip as she pulled away, mumbling something to himself as he smiled and pushed open the door. She paused and kissed Bucky the same, snaking her hands around his waist and pulling herself close to him.

It wasn't a rule - _there weren't rules anyway, right?_ \- but Avery felt an underlying need to share the affection between both Bucky and Steve. It wasn't because she was concerned about jealousy or something juvenile like that, but to ensure they both knew they were worthy of her attention. This thing with Steve was _new_ and _exciting_ but Bucky was an old comfort already, a safe and secure place to bring her back down to Earth.

Avery accepted Bucky's arm over her shoulder as they headed down to the dock. Lou was already preparing the boat, complete with a large basket of food and an overflowing cooler of drinks. The pontoon was generous in size, with a set of couch seating near the front and another at the back, plus the navigational seats in the middle. It was designed for recreational cruising, not speed, which was helpful to Avery and her motion sensitive stomach.

Avery fell onto one of the seats near the front, pulling Bucky down beside her. They both smiled when Lou stopped Steve, chirping him for wearing a Yankee hat - _the Felix family was loyal to the Red Sox_ \- then excitedly explaining the mechanics of the boat. Avery was certain Steve didn't ask, but she was incredibly grateful he was humouring her father nonetheless.

Avery laughed and shoved Bucky gently, leaning into his shoulder. "Should you be concerned my dad is vying for the position of Steve's best friend?"

"I'll let it slide this weekend," Bucky replied to her slowly. He tilted his head to close in the space between them, breathing against her neck. "I don't mind sharing."

"Stop that," she replied breathlessly, pushing him away. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close by as she giggled against him, meeting her lips with a kiss.

"Can we instate a no PDA rule?" Avery looked up to see her brother dropping down onto the seats facing her and Bucky, a friendly smirk on his face. Nash was wearing a pair of black sunglasses, swim trunks and exactly nothing else.

Bucky stiffened at his comment but Avery just squeezed his knee, letting out an irritated groan. "I have very real memories of you sucking face with Stacey Bardwell all over the bunkhouse, with absolutely no shame."

Nash opened his mouth to protest then shook his head with a laugh. "Okay. That's fair."

"You gonna get that removed?" Avery pointed at her brother's right bicep - it displayed a tattoo with _her name_ in script, under a colourful sunrise.

A memorial tattoo.

"Of course not," Nash replied quickly. He flicked his eyes down towards his arm. "I'll just have to get one for Lora too, to even it out."

Bucky could tell her brother's guard was up, even behind his sunglasses it seemed like he was keeping a detailed eye on Bucky. This was his little sister after all - his sister he lost and thought he may very well never see again. It was his right to play the protective brother.

But it was annoying nonetheless.

Even more annoying, Charlie joined them at the front of the boat next, sitting down beside Nash and handing him a beer.

"Little early for that, don't you think?" Avery spat out playfully. She felt Bucky's hand on her shoulder tighten ever so slightly.

Charlie cracked open the tab of his can and crashed it against Nash's.

"This is a hard earned vacation for us, Avery," Charlie replied to her, taking a long swig from his can. "My goal is to have a steady buzz until Sunday afternoon."

"You sound like an alcoholic," she replied with an eye-roll.

"Actually, I sound like you this time last year, _honey_ ," Charlie nipped back, leaning into his seat and stretching out his free hand.

This time it was Avery's turn to tense up.

Last summer, she was a mess. _A mess._ But she was also reeling with catching up on five years of missing life - losing her mother, having no relationship, the world being temporarily on fire as people reappeared haphazardly around the globe. How could she not lose herself into a spiral when her dad kept looking at her and crying, grateful to just have her exist again?

She wasn't ignorant to what her life looked like a year ago.

A year ago she was helpless.

Things were different now - _so different_ \- and she didn't need Charlie Porter bothering her about it.

Bucky's left hand around her shoulder moved slow circles in an attempt to soothe her as she was reeling from Charlie's comments. Avery could hear him taking long deep breaths at her side, hiding his obvious glare behind his sunglasses.

Luckily, Steve came up and took a seat on her other side a few moments later. Lou started up the boat after Lora, Luke and Sienna joined them on the other end and they quickly left the shoreline and lake house behind.

* * *

Steve liked the water. It reminded him of a few rare, quiet childhood moments where he was well enough to do something, _anything._ It was his mother who encouraged him to be a Boy Scout.

He always thought she just probably appreciated the time alone, a reprieve from motherhood and working. Those Saturday mornings where she could try and be a person again, a woman who wasn't a widow with a sickly son. But really, Sarah Rogers wanted her son to learn how to live. How to tie a knot, take responsibility, learn how to survive in his life despite how his body seemed to fail him.

He got to go to one overnight camp, barely making it through the two nights without needing to visit the camp infirmary. But he got to build a fire and shoot an arrow and paddle on the water.

It had been a smooth escape, the quiet rocking of waves helping lead him from one point to another. It was a memory that barely existed now though if he thought hard enough, he could feel a sprinkle of water hitting his hands as he paddled through the waves.

Of course, a pontoon boat on a lake in the woods was not the same but the cool air was refreshing nonetheless.

After spending a few hours on an abandoned beach, tossing around a volleyball in the water with most of the group while Avery, Bucky and Lou sat on the shore, everyone was piled back into the boat and after some convincing, Lou agreed to anchor the boat beside the infamous jumping cliffs.

It was there, as everyone jumped off the boat to get to the cliff side, Avery finally shed her shorts and tank top.

"You ready?" She extended her hand to Steve, pulling him to stand.

Bucky's eyes darted to the cliff, watching as Nash was the first to arrive and start scaling the rocks. "You're going to climb up there, Ave?"

"I'm offended you're doubting my abilities, Buck," she replied with a pout, pulling on Steve's hand towards the side of the boat. "Get ready to be impressed!"

Bucky just smiled at her attitude and _her wink_ as she jumped off the boat, followed by Steve. And then, she quickly _and impressively_ managed to climb her way up the side of the rocks with ease. She was quick to find her footings, tightly grabbing familiar rock cuts and finally pulling herself onto the first cliff landing. From there, another short path could take them to a slightly higher ledge.

Steve climbed behind her, cautiously following her footsteps and unabashedly enjoying the view of her from behind. Her leg muscles tensed as she went, strong and purposefully helping her get to the landing. She even teasingly extended her hand to help Steve up past the last bit of rocks, giggling as he rolled his eyes.

As Steve stood, they took a few steps toward the side of the cliff. It was a straight drop, with just a few smaller rocks dropping out the side.

"You've gotta kinda run and launch yourself," Nash said from behind them, slapping a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Or Lou will freak out."

"Someone died here, years ago," Avery said with an agreeable nod. "But keep in mind dad says a prayer every time someone leaps off, just in case."

"Understood," Steve said with a knowing smile. It wasn't the highest place he had ever jumped from but the edge still gave him a bit of an overwhelming feeling. A deep hollering sounded out to their right, as they stepped back and watched Luke taking a jump off the ledge. He fell, for just a few moments, then cannon balled into the lake with a large splash. Cheers sounded out from the rest of the group and his initial action seemed to break the ice for everyone else.

"You ready, Cap?" Avery nudged him with her elbow, taking a few steps back to give herself some space to run.

Steve smirked at her, nodding his head and doing the same. She counted down, shifting into an exaggerated running stance at his side. Then, Steve reached and held onto her hand as they started to sprint, just like they had off the dock that morning.

It felt like magic, even if just for two seconds, free falling beside him. They landed with a splash, feet first plunging deep into the water. Steve's weight compared to hers brought her down further than expected, but soon enough she felt his arms around her back as they broke through the surface of the water.

Avery resisted the urge to kiss him then and there, sparkling blue eyes watching her playfully.

She glanced back at the boat, seeing Bucky with a beaming smile as he watched them swim back to the cliff side again. He turned back to his conversation with Lou, sitting side by side at the end of the boat.

The jumping continued on safely. Avery went off in tandem with her sister and Sienna. Steve got playful with the boys as they jumped and flipped around, earning plenty of praise. Eventually, Avery was somehow goaded by her brother to climb up to the top level where most of the boys had been leaping off of.

If there was one thing Avery hated, it was being talked down to by her brother. Especially in moments like this, where the higher level gave her heightened anxiety but she wanted to prove herself to him. Why, she had no idea.

So as Nash teased her about it, she hesitated.

"You don't have to Avery Ray," Nash said, arms crossed. "I know it's a bit much."

"It's like seven more feet than down there," Charlie added in. "But if you're too chicken.."

Despite Avery's confidence and how she used the exact phrase earlier on Steve, she was feeling more and more offended by their tone. Charlie, especially, was making her angry. Steve was standing at her side, scanning her face as she listened to them.

"You know you don't have to," he said quietly.

"I know, I know." Her tone was just as quiet, steely eyes staring at Charlie across from her. Nash just shrugged, taking a running leap and launching himself the edge once more without looking back.

From the water below, Lou was waving his hand to indicate he wanted to head back to the house. Sienna, Lora and Luke were down in the water and swimming back to the boat. Avery took a few steps to the ledge, considering her options.

It was just one more leap.

She could make one more leap, especially with Steve at her side.

Just as she was turning back towards Steve, Charlie started to run towards the edge. Avery couldn't hear what he was saying as he ran, perhaps it was something about _now or never_ but she did feel his arms enclose around her and she felt her feet leave the secure edge of the cliff side.

She felt panic wave through her as she fell towards the water, Charlie's arms gripping her close.

She could feel her lungs screaming, trying to push him away as they fell.

She could feel her body slapping the water, hard.

* * *

"Get ready to be impressed!"

Bucky smirked as Avery and Steve disappeared off the boat, heads bobbing as they swam towards the nearby cliffside. It had been an enjoyable afternoon. Avery opted to sit on the beach with Bucky, which she insisted was her own choice and not out of pity like he suggested. They laughed under the warm sun, halfway on top of one another, watching Steve quickly and carefully send the volleyball into the air and even directly at Charlie's head a few times.

Back in the boat, she excitedly tore down to her swimsuit and made her way to the cliff with Steve and the others, leaving Bucky on the boat with Lou.

"She always thought she had to prove herself with those boys." Lou's words caught Bucky's attention. The older man turned off the boat and made his way down towards Bucky, bending to sit beside him on the bench. "Not sure why but I think it made her tough, having two older brothers."

Bucky nodded along as Lou spoke about his daughter.

"She's smart as a whip, though," Lou continued, a smile growing on his face as he watched everyone start to jump excitedly. "You know she got into medical school?"

Bucky turned his head away from the action on the cliffs and gave his attention to Lou. "She hadn't told me that, no."

Lou let out a short huff, crossing his arms and stretching out his legs. His right, the prosthetic, clunked against the boat. "I'm trying to be patient with her about it now but.. she's gotta do more. She's meant for more than that stupid desk job. She's been pretty out of sorts since.. well, everything happened. But I never thought I would see her so diminished, lacking any drive to do more. She lost it along the way." He paused, watching with bright eyes as Avery and Steve landed in the water nearby. "You know why we called her Avery Ray?"

Bucky shook his head as he tore his gaze from the two idiots grinning up at him from the water.

"She smiled when she was just a baby. Two hours old and she was smiling. She was like sunshine to me and their mom, after raising those pain-in-the-neck boys." Bucky just laughed at his commentary but that familiar warm feeling washed through him. He resisted clutching his chest, as if it was going to burst out blindly and escape.

"I haven't seen her smile in a long time. Not like how she is around you and Steve," Lou continued, patting Bucky's knee. "It's something else."

Bucky swallowed hard, taking in a deep swell of air. "She's something else."

They fell into a comfortable silence, occasionally making comments about the leaps and jumps off the cliff side. But, Bucky didn't feel compelled to keep up the conversation. It seemed Lou could be a man of few words, too. And he was grateful for it.

Bucky shifted under the sun, pulling at his shirt. The laughter of everyone in the water echoed past the boat.

"I used to hide my leg," Lou nudged Bucky's metal arm. "Life is too short. However you lost it, who you were-

Bucky turned his head slowly to meet Lou's gaze.

"I know it's complicated. Maybe you're ashamed. I don't know the whole story, soldier. But you're alive now and..." Lou paused. "I lost a lot of comrades in my time. I lost my boy, my wife, my ray of sunshine. Then I got one of them back and it just reminded me this life is fucking short."

Lou waved his hand, muttering about wanting to get back to the house.

Bucky didn't respond. Instead, his eyes moved up to the top of the cliff. Avery and Steve were still up there with her brother and Charlie. A few moments later, Nash was jumping towards the water. By the time Bucky's gaze went back up, smiling to himself as Avery very clearly worked up her courage to jump, he saw Charlie _fucking_ Porter running to the edge.

And grabbing Avery to go down with him as he jumped.

Bucky was quick to stand and race towards the edge of the boat, watching as they fell, flipping over twice as they did. His shuddered when he heard their bodies slap the water, Avery made contact first with her back to the lake and Charlie sandwiched on top of her.

An urgency was felt down to his bones as Bucky tore off his long sleeve and dove off the boat, bypassing the startled calls of everyone else swimming and racing to recover Avery from the water. Another splash was heard close by as Steve dove in from above, hurrying over to where Avery was finally breaking through the water and gasping for air.

Bucky pushed Charlie out of the way as he broke the surface, taking in a few deep breaths.

"Oh, she's fine," Charlie spat out, swimming backwards away from them and back towards the boat with everyone else. Bucky didn't even dignify a response. If Avery hadn't been reaching for him, he would have sooner tried to drown Charlie instead of letting him swim away.

"Hey, I'm right here," Bucky wrapped his arm around Avery, treading his legs underneath his body. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Avery took a few more gasping breaths, spitting out a mouthful of lake water. "Shoulder.." She squeezed her eyes shut, leaning her head onto his shoulder, as Bucky started to kick his legs out and propel them back towards the boat. Steve hurried behind, large strokes of his arm letting him catch up quickly.

When they got to the boat, Steve quickly climbed up near the front and reached to help Avery out of Bucky's arms.

"Her shoulder," Bucky warned, watching as Steve shifted his weight and gripped her around the waist instead of her armpits. He helped her to sit on the back bench, instructing her to take slow breaths and stay calm.

On the other end of the boat, Lou was not holding back. "You brainless little shit." Charlie was wrapped in a towel, cowering in one of the solo seats, avoiding eye contact with the retired General. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Lou's hand reached out and smacked the back of Charlie's head, clutching onto his hair. "You weren't thinking, were you?"

"No, sir. Sorry, sir."

Lou swore, loudly, grumbling as he left everyone sitting silently at the boat's hull. Nash could be heard calling his friend _a fucking idiot._

Lora quickly darted through everyone to meet Steve and Bucky at the front of the boat, First Aid kit in hand. "Talk to me, Ave." She gently pushed Bucky out of the way, murmuring she was _a nurse_ and to let her look.

"Shoulder," Avery whimpered out quietly.

When their bodies landed, it felt more like a collision with the ground than it did a gentle jump in the water. The weight of Charlie's body on hers, along the angle of their impact, made it feel like Avery had smacked her arm out of place entirely. She clutched her towel as it sat on her lap, taking a few deep breaths as the adrenaline coursing through her seemed to run dry. An aching pain replaced it, radiating through her left shoulder.

"Dislocated?" Steve crouched down beside Lora as she ran her fingers along the joint.

Lora sighed, running an anxious hand through her dark hair. "I think so, yeah. Just partial. The small space here indicates it's not fully out of the joint but displaced." Lora let out a breath then looked from Steve to Bucky. "I wouldn't condone this in normal circumstances but I think we can pop it back in. Well, one of you probably should. Brute strength and all."

Steve pursed his lips as he stood, meeting Bucky's gaze.

"You'll be more gentle I'm sure," Bucky admitted, shifting to sit beside Avery on the bench.

"I don't need gentle, I need one very quick shove of force," Lora turned to Steve, nodding her head.

"Okay," Steve reached down and wrapped one of his hands on Avery's wrist and the other on her bicep. "You ready?"

"This should hurt, Ave," Lora said, with just a slight condescending tone. She crossed her arms and winced. Bucky grabbed Avery's other hand with his right, then braced her back with his left hand.

Avery just winced, biting her lip. "Just do it, Steve, please."

With a gentle _but forceful_ shove, Steve pushed Avery's arm back towards her and up slightly, at Lora's instruction. Avery let out an angry cry as he did, letting out a series of expletives after Steve released her. Thankfully, the pain was immediately a bit less intense when he was done.

"You okay?" Bucky shifted to look at her face.

Avery let out a long breath and leaned against him with a nod. "I need a beer."

* * *

Steve and Bucky were quickly protective of an injured Avery. She had to fight them off when Steve tried to carry her off the boat upon their return.

" _My legs are fine, Steve."_

Lora and Bucky had fashioned her a sling out of Bucky's discarded shirt, leaving him topless for the rest of the ride. Avery couldn't be certain but she had a feeling Bucky was making a point of using his left arm for the rest of the day, like a reminder to Charlie that he had a _cybernetic fucking arm_ and wasn't afraid to use it.

After Avery showered (" _I can wash my hair with one hand, Buck. Out!"_ ) and changed into a pair of leggings and a big t-shirt, she found Allie, Kasey, Sam, Bucky and Steve sitting on the front deck. She heard Sienna rambling on about needing a nap and assumed Luke was cuddled up beside her in one of the bunks. She had no idea where Nash or Charlie were nor did she care.

When she got to the deck, Lora jutted out of the house with an actual medical grade sling and insisted Avery wear it for the evening at least. Avery sighed but didn't argue, allowing her Very Serious nurse sister do her work. Then, Lora took her right hand and pulled her into the house.

Standing at the kitchen island was Lou, beer bottle in hand. Beside him was a woman Avery didn't recognize. She was a bit taller than their dad with sweeping black curls, warm mocha skin and a bright smile. They caught her in the middle of a laugh, reaching out and placing her hand against Lou's chest playfully. She had on a pair of old jeans and a big sweater, clearly ready for a weekend at camp.

"Play nice and I'll give you a T3," Lora joked, squeezing her sister's hand. Avery took a deep breath and approached her dad and his girlfriend.

"There she is," Lou rested his beer on the counter and turned towards his daughters, moving his hand behind the woman's back. "Avery Ray, this is Suzanne."

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Avery," Suzanne said.

Avery immediately felt comfortable with this woman, shaking her soft hand and listening to her kind tone. She wanted to be annoyed, frustrated, angry - this woman was not her mother and to see her standing, having an innocent but intimate moment with her father, was a lot. But, none of those negative feelings came to the surface.

"You too," Avery said quietly. "It's nice to have you here."

"Well, Lou has been talking about this weekend for months. I'm just honoured to have been invited."

Their small talk was just that - small and surface level. But to Avery, that was good enough. She had to take baby steps to ensure she didn't get overwhelmed.

Before leaving to the deck again, Avery assured her father she was fine and happily accepted the pain medication from her sister, though Lora said she shouldn't do anymore drinking for the night.

After dinner, which was a delicious variety of pasta dishes and a special jambalaya Sam whipped up, Avery and Kasey were sitting together at the edge of the dock. They had slipped away while most of the group started to play some lawn games, throwing around a football. It had really just turned into a contest of who could out throw the others - _Steve was winning._

It was nice to just sit and catch up with her cousin, discussing her plans for moving to the city and apartment hunting. Apparently Sam had been pleasantly helpful all day long and somewhat timid on the flirting, which Avery found incredibly funny. She was surprised to discover a loud personality and bright eyes could make Sam so weak in the knees.

"Not that I'm looking to date anyone," Kasey said with a laugh. "But Sam is a lot of fun."

"I just want someone to go on double dates with," Avery whined with a smile. "Not that Bucky or Sam would be okay with it."

"Speaking of," Kasey shifted to look at Avery directly, lips holding back a smile. "Allie is convinced something is also going on with you and Steve."

Avery feigned a surprised look on her face, turning her head to look up towards the lawn where Steve and Bucky were somehow both on the ground wrestling for the football in a fit of laughter. Her smile softened.

Her boys.

"Allie thinks you're all in some weird love triangle," Kasey continued, eyebrow raising as she followed her cousin's stare. "She's pretty certain. Claims her empathy senses have been going off all day with you three."

"Love is a big word," Avery finally replied. "Love triangle...sounds so high school."

"Yet you aren't denying it," Kasey said, matter-of-factly. "My roommate from college has a husband and a boyfriend, some weird open relationship. Things can get messy, you know."

Avery didn't say anything else, simply resorting to an innocent smile as she stood up off the dock. Kasey followed suit, gently extending a hand over her cousin's shoulders. Before they got to the end of the lawn, Charlie exited the lower cabin and headed towards Avery.

"Avery, can I talk to you?" Charlie crossed his arms as he planted in front of her, eyes darting to Kasey. "Alone?"

Kasey hesitated but Avery just waved her off. She could handle a remorseful Charlie on her own. Avery looked back towards the lawn for a second, catching both Bucky and Steve pausing whatever activity they were in the middle of to watch what was unfolding. She tilted her head slightly and gave them both a reassuring smile that she was _fine_ and they didn't need to worry.

Not that it would stop them from keeping a close watch as they conversed.

"Are you allowed to talk to me without your guard dogs?" Charlie started, looking over his shoulder to see both Steve and Bucky staring at him. Steve was gripping the football tight in his hand, Bucky had his arms crossed.

Avery didn't respond to him.

"Nash thought it was important for me to apologize for what happened," Charlie continued slowly. He pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head with a shrug.

"Do you know what an apology is supposed to sound like? Because this isn't it." Avery narrowed her eyes at him. "Also, I should hope you're human enough that you would apologize by your own accord and not because my brother scared you into it."

"Your dad, actually," Charlie muttered out, rolling his eyes.

"Charlie."

"I shouldn't have taken you off that cliff with me. It was just classic Avery - sometimes you're all talk then you just hesitate. It's mixed signals."

"God, you're a piece of work." She rolled her eyes. "What I do with my life and choices should not matter to you. We don't owe each other anything. I'll accept whatever you think this apology is so we never had to speak again. Okay? Great." She turned to move by him but he grabbed her hand.

"Wait."

She pulled away, eyebrows raised again.

Charlie took a step forward, glancing back at the lawn where Bucky had taken a few steps towards them. "You know what he did right? What he was? You might think it's all washed away now but people still know. Is that really what you want? You think you can trust _him?"_

Avery knew replying to him was giving in. She knew that. Yet, as he spat out his quiet accusations, the hot, angry feeling in her chest continued to rise. "You don't know shit, Charlie. He had no choice. They stole his autonomy, his life. That's not who he is."

"Sure," Charlie laughed, dry and empty. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey. Whatever story you're spinning now, doesn't undo what he _was._ "

Avery was certain if her arm hadn't still been in that sling, she would have started swinging as Charlie walked away. She hated everything about what had just happened - how he thought he had the upper hand, how he managed to get under her skin and condescend to her about her own goddamn life. She squeezed her eyes shut, her right hand balling into a fist.

"Avery?" Bucky's voice pulled her back. She opened her eyes, blinking back a few tears. She didn't want to assume Bucky had heard everything in their conversation but she knew his hearing was advanced enough that he probably listened in.

"I'm fine," she answered before he could ask, wiping away a tear from her eye. "Overwhelmed, I guess."

Bucky pulled her into his arms. "You know, between me, Stevie and Sam, we could.. remove Charlie from existence pretty easily."

He could feel her laughing against his chest.

"I appreciate the gesture but that's not required." Avery pulled away. "Not yet, at least."

"Say the word, doll," Bucky said quietly. "I can make it as painful as possible."

"Bucky," Avery swatted his chest. "Stop."

He pulled her back in and planted a kiss on top of her head.

Avery hummed happily against him. "When it's dark, me, you and Steve are going on an adventure, okay?"

* * *

The air was plenty warm that evening - made even warmer by the raging bonfire growing at the bottom of the lawn. Avery was draped in a big sweatshirt - whether it originated as Steve or Bucky's, she wasn't sure - that she had swiped out of Bucky's backpack, perched on the armrest of a big Adirondack chair. Her legs, clad in ripped denim shorts, were draped over Bucky's lap. He wrapped his hands around her calves, desperate to just be touching her.

Since watching her sputter after her plunge into the lake with Charlie, it was as if the protective side he was repressing came out in full force. Though he was trying to contain himself, mainly because he could sense her getting overwhelmed ( _annoyed_ ) with him.

The entire group was planted around the fire, save for Suzanne and Lou who were watching a movie inside. Avery would have preferred her dad out there with them, tending to the fire and telling silly stories but she wasn't going to argue when he insisted they all enjoy their time together without the old people.

Avery joked she spent plenty of time with old people - Steve and Bucky - and she didn't mind more.

Instead, it was Nash commandeering the fire, telling stories and jokes about when they were kids while marshmallows were roasted and beers were passed around. Above them, the stars sparkled in the clear sky. A warm breeze sent smoke through their small crowd. The lake gently rocked waves against the dock.

It was almost peaceful.

"Hey Ave, whatever happened to Scout?" Nash stood up from his seat across the circle from her, gently dropping another piece of wood onto the fire.

Avery let out a groan and shook her head dramatically. "Whyyyyy.."

"Who's Scout?" Steve turned his head with a smirk. Even in the reflection of the firelight, his eyes were bright with wonder.

"His name is Scott," Avery corrected with another groan. "He was just a boy I had a summer crush on."

"You were in love with the guy," Lora jumped in, pointing her marshmallow stick towards her sister.

"Ah, summer love," Sam said with a smirk, eyes not leaving the marshmallow he was roasting ever so delicately.

"Scout showed up one night and serenaded Avery at the end of the dock," Nash carried on, telling this story to Bucky and Steve directly.

"Serenaded?" Bucky inquired, squeezing Avery's leg playfully.

"He was learning how to play the guitar. Badly." Avery sighed. "Scott was very nice and kind and -

"Awkward," Lora finished. "Used to wear his Boy Scout sash on our hikes. Carried a cute little Swiss Army knife and everything."

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Is he the one who took your virginity?" Kasey asked, eyes wide.

Avery shot a narrow glance across the fire. "Kasey!"

"Hey, his little sister Marnie took mine," Lora added in, tipping the rest of a wine cooler into her mouth.

"I regret starting this conversation," Nash commented as he dropped back into his chair.

"I would love to know more about Scout," Bucky said smoothly as he turned to look at Avery. She looked over and caught Steve nodding along to Bucky's commentary. Avery pursed her lips together, holding back a smirk. The banter carried on for a while longer.

A cheer sounded out from Sam as he collapsed into his chair, proudly showing off the s'more he had crafted. Before he could take a bite, Bucky reached his hand over and grabbed the treat out of his grip. Within two bites it disappeared into Bucky's mouth, marshmallow tendrils left on his fingers.

"God, I hate you, man," Sam grumbled, reaching for another marshmallow to start again. "At least enjoy it next time."

Eventually, Avery signaled to both Steve and Bucky she wanted out of the circle and the three of them parted ways with the group. After grabbing a flashlight from the garage and her cellphone, she led them away from the property. She linked her right arm with Bucky's left, while he did the same with Steve on his right and they quietly headed down the driveway and turned onto the road.

"I think a lot of horror flicks start this way," Bucky joked as Avery motioned towards a pathway through the woods. "If this is the end, it was nice knowing ya, Stevie." The boys laughed as Avery shushed them, breaking her hold on Bucky and indicating for them to follow her.

The pathway was well worn until Avery pushed through some brush at the end, easily navigating through familiar branch patterns as the boys complained behind her. There was more laughter as Steve unintentionally hit Bucky in the face with a particularly bendy branch, though the joyous energy coming off of them both made Avery feel especially happy.

Despite the dramatics with Charlie, it had been a nice day. A mainly perfect day. Sunshine, water, good company.

A few minutes later, she pushed through another grown over section of tight trees and they emerged at a clearing. Ahead of them was a large spanse of smooth rock, warm after being hit with the July sun all day. It was a small space, with a large tree line enveloping them, as if to lead a wide path to the lapping water. Avery kicked off her sandals and slowly stepped into the water, turning back to look at Bucky and Steve who were standing a few feet away looking around.

Dopey smiles on both of their faces, illuminated by just the bright moon above them.

Bucky stood unassuming, casual. His hands rested in the pockets of his dark jeans, turning his head to mutter something to Steve, causing each of them to laugh. Avery thought he looked especially content, almost relaxed.

Steve stood taller, bolder. As if he couldn't shake his military stance, even in a quiet moment with two people he was comfortable around. He clutched as his chest, hand wide across his red Henley, as he laughed with Bucky. He kicked off his sandals like Avery had and took a few steps towards the water.

"Hidden Point," Avery announced, waving her hand around slowly. "We're just down the lake from the house, but thanks to a curve in the growth, completely hidden away. Even in this little inlet of water." She lifted her left arm, pulling on the sling and shaking it off slowly. She tossed it upwards onto the rocks.

"Didn't your sister say to leave that on all night?" Steve titled his head, catching her coy smile.

"It feels a lot better, I promise," she replied, stretching her shoulder out. She reached up next and shook her hair out of the bun on top of her head, letting it cascade down her shoulders. "Now, who wants to swim?"

"Here? Now?" Bucky walked down to meet them at the water line. "I feel like we're unprepared, doll."

"We aren't," Avery said quietly, reaching down to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt. "I told you. Hidden Point is for skinny dipping." She yanked off the sweatshirt in one smooth motion, tossing it back onto the rocks. She stood before them, hands on her hips. She was left in just her jean shorts and a plain red bra. "Now, I vote this is an all or nothing thing."

Steve stared down at her as a smile grew on his face. "Meaning?"

"Meaning, if I'm about to strip down, you both have to do the same. It's only fair."

Bucky didn't even pretend to hesitate as he reached for his belt buckle and kicked off his shoes. "It's only fair, Stevie."

"Huh," Steve added in. His hands moved down to tear off his shirt. "Fair is fair."

Avery was strategic, quickly unsnapping her bra and pulling off her shorts and underwear, throwing them up towards the rocks. Then, she turned quickly and dove into the water without a second glance back at them. Though this had been her idea and neither of them would _ever_ want her to feel uncomfortable, she was incredibly nervous all of a sudden.

She figured it was the realization she had never been naked in front of Steve before. Not that they were on display to each other, it was easy to hide in the cool water. But this was.. big. It was scary.

It was intimate in a way she wasn't prepared for. But it was happening now and she knew she could handle it.

It was just Bucky and Steve.

_Bucky and Steve._

Avery emerged from the water about fifteen feet away, breaking the surface with a big exhale. She barely touched the bottom of the lake, toes skimming the sand below. She looked up to see both Steve and Bucky swimming towards her, waists submerged by the water already.

"Cold?" Bucky's smirk was unmistakable even half hidden in the dark of the night. He swam up close to Avery, not bothering to wait for a response as he ran his arms across her underneath the water, pulling her up against him. His hands locked underneath her backside, as she wrapped her legs around his waist. His lips found hers next and he groaned against her as she tugged on his hair.

Bucky's kisses, compared to Steve's, were definitely rougher but he had a steady, consistent ability. He was skilled with his mouth and Avery would always be grateful for it. Before she broke away from him, she felt Steve moving behind her, pressing kisses against her wet shoulder. Her left shoulder, still delicate. He was soft, as if the pressure might hurt her all over again.

Steve's arms wrapped around her from behind, locking just below her chest.

"So, did you do this with the Boy Scout, too?" Bucky asked when she pulled away breathlessly.

"We may have visited this spot once or twice." Avery drew out her statement, leaning back against Steve behind her. "Never this naked. Just..almost naked."

Avery could feel Steve's hands moving gently across her midsection, as if hesitant to do anything else. That was fair. She was understanding and appreciative of his pace.

"I think," Avery paused when Bucky's mouth returned to her, this time against her jaw and towards her neck. "As far as physical activities go.." She trailed off, distracted by them both. "Let's say…"

Avery moved her hands from behind Bucky's next down under the water, holding onto Steve's. "Everything from the waist up is fair game." She used her hands to guide Steve's, letting him grip onto her breasts.

"Avery," Steve stuttered out her name as she let go of his hands. "You don-

"Please, Stevie," Avery replied as she leaned back onto his shoulder. "I want you to touch me."

Like he could argue with that sweet request. Why was it when she called him Stevie he suddenly felt like putty?

Bucky pulled back and chuckled as he watched Steve's face change, half hidden in a shadow behind Avery.

It was hard not to get swept away in the idea of possibility as they laughed and kissed and swam together. Avery joked, Steve blushed, Bucky smirked. It felt like the next page in something beautiful.

The water around them transformed into a safe space.

A romantic snapshot capturing them all in a peaceful moment.

It wouldn't be that way forever, it couldn't. Eventually, they would have to climb out of the water, redress and head back to the house. Avery would jump on Steve's back, directing Bucky on the right path as he takes the lead with the flashlight. They would laugh together, Avery shushing their inappropriate comments. They'd fall back onto the bed, hiding under the scratchy blankets, three souls finding sleep together.

But until then, until one of them made the effort to encourage leaving the water, they floated together, hands and lips grazing skin under the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awwwwwww ya'll what a DAY. listen, water safety when cliff jumping is very important and dislocated shoulders are very common diving injuries (though this is fiction and I can't guarantee a fall from 32 feet would let that happen or not). if you don't have a lifejacket, remember to take two super soldiers when you're in the lake in the dark :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
> 
> *thank you* sooo much to everyone who is here reading along. I know I am a broken record but your support and interest means so much to me! I never guessed this story would have escalated how it did (my original ten chapter plan is laughing at me now!) so I am grateful for your support. Thank you sooo much to all of you who commented on the last chapter. I have been feeling so overwhelmed in a good way. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Next: our current brainless antagonist thinks he's doing the right thing unraveling a thread about The Winter Soldier..but who's on his side? It's Lou's birthday and Steve's birthday and America's birthday! Time for BBQ and games and the truth? Is somebody going to punch somebody? Another day at the lake then it's back to reality for these folks. Where life is waiting in Manhattan and Avery reconsiders her job, her life and her future.


	18. Physical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: vague reference to past sexual assault, homophobia, fist fight, and sex.

Saturday morning was much slower, softer.

Avery woke up just the same, tangled between Bucky and Steve. She was curled up on Bucky's right side, head nestled into his shoulder and leg tucked up over his thighs. Behind her, Steve pressed closely, arm wrapped around her waist.

Bucky couldn't feel his arm when he woke up but he wasn't going to disturb the two slumbering beside him. Instead, he just tilted his head and smiled as he watched them both breathing. God, he could hardly believe this was happening still. The uncomfortable tension with Steve from weeks ago felt so fresh yet here they were. He wanted it to work out so badly.

And that scared the _shit_ out of him.

Steve was the most constant factor in his life, even after all this time. Ever patient and understanding. Defensive and argumentative at times, but equally playful and understanding. Even when he didn't realize it, he always had Steve. The one person who believed in him, who fought for him, who loved him.

And Avery.

Sweet, sweet Avery. Her scrappy attitude and overwhelming kindness set up camp in his heart and soul, as if discovering a new land to explore. It was uncharted territory, still. It wasn't always going to be easy. But, she was his girl.

 _Their_ girl.

Bucky daydreamed about date nights. Cooking dinner together. Piling up on the couch. Holding hands with them both at the Bijou. Letting them both in, letting them both help and heal.

As an added bonus, if last night in the lake was any indication, they were all going to support each other. Take care of everyone's needs, share, touch, feel. Together. Bucky thought he might feel selfish and envious, picturing someone else indulging in an intimate moment with Avery. But if it was Steve, he couldn't contain his excitement. He felt generous and giving instead of selfish. He wanted Steve to feel good, Avery to feel even better.

God, if he could ensure both the people lying in bed beside him were always happy and safe and satisfied, that's all he needed.

The bed shuffled slightly and he looked over to see Steve stirring awake. His eyes drew open slowly, adjusting to the morning light streaming in. He raised his head slightly to look over at Bucky, marching his smile.

"Happy birthday, Stevie," Bucky said quietly, reaching his left hand over to brush against Steve's cheek. "How you feelin?"

"Happy as a clam," Steve replied, matching his tone. He leaned in and laid a small kiss on Avery's shoulder between them. A quiet him escaped her lips, content. She locked her arm around Bucky's chest but stretched out back into Steve behind her.

"Very happy, apparently," Avery murmured into Bucky's shoulder with a delicate laugh. Steve's morning arousal was not easy to conceal. He tried to shift away from her but she was quick to lock her hand around his wrist, keeping him hooked onto her waist. "It's okay, Steve."

Bucky moved his head to look at Avery, noticing a spark in her eyes. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips, nipping as he pulled away. "I'm gonna go for a run with Sam. He needs it after those s'mores."

Steve tried to pull himself up as Bucky slipped off the bed. "I'll come too."

"You can take a day off, birthday boy," Bucky insisted, shoving him back down. "Avery isn't volunteering to join so you should keep her company."

"Running is the worst," Avery added in, stretching her arms out onto Bucky's absent space.

After Bucky changed and left, banging on the door down the hall to wake up Sam (and everyone else, probably) Steve shifted, propping himself up on his left hand to look down at Avery. "Running is good for you, you know. Cardio is important for your health."

Avery turned her head and stared up at him, a small smile growing on her lips as she slid to her back. "Do you consciously slip into your Captain America voice or does it happen unintentionally?"

A laugh overflowed from Steve as he took in her question. He pursed his lips together as he looked at her, a heat pulsing through him. He felt so lucky - here he was on his 106th birthday, rolling his eyes at the most beautiful girl. Beautiful in mind, spirit, body. She was saucy and kind, playful and impulsive. She was going to be trouble for him and Bucky - that was clear already. Her eyes were gentle as she looked up at him, her smile soft. He could spend the whole day looking at her.

"I don't do it on purpose," Steve finally answered with a shrug. "It's sort of just part of me."

"Honestly, I kind of like it. It's.." Avery paused, scrunching up her face as she contemplated what to say. "It's bold. Kind of sexy."

"Only kind of? Wow," he replied, an exaggerated hurt look on his face. "It's my birthday and I only get _kind of_ sexy?"

Avery let out a short laugh and quickly sat up on her knees, planting her hands on Steve's chest and pushing him flat down on the bed. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips, moaning ever so gently as Steve's hands found her waist, shifting her to straddle him. His thumbs brushed against her hips, against the soft texture of her t-shirt (actually, it was Bucky's shirt). She nibbled on his lip before pulling away, propping herself up on one elbow on his chest, chin resting on her hand.

"Stevie, I think you're incredibly sexy. You have this..commanding, unyielding presence but at the same time, your heart is so big. You care so much - about your team, about doing good, about Bucky. And that's just.. much more sexy than how your back muscles ripple. Although that's also very appealing."

"You. You're on that list, too. I care about you, Avery."

Her smile was warm but didn't quite reach her eyes. "I didn't want to assume that."

Steve released his right hand from her hip and brought it up to brush against her cheek instead. "Of course I care about you. It's funny - I don't even remember those before days, before I felt..this for you. It happened without even realizing it, even. It was actually that day we went to the zoo -

Avery laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. "When you made fun of me for spouting off facts about the penguins?"

Steve pursed his lips into a smile. "Yes. That very day. We were walking through one of the exhibits and you made an excited comment about that famous polar bear -

"Gus!"

Steve nodded. "And the coveted photo you got outside his little spot when you were a kid. It was that day I figured out why Bucky liked you and I knew I was screwed if I didn't get a hold of my own feelings."

Avery wasn't sure how to reply. She closed her eyes and leaned into Steve's hand, content to feel his skin against her own. She collapsed down and rested her head directly on his chest, his warmth radiating into her.

Steve was warm. This was..warm.

His arms locked around her back, holding her still as she relaxed on top of his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

Avery was feeling like she might fall asleep. "Can you tell me about one of your best birthdays?"

"I was 13, I think. Bucky had made these big Independence Day plans for us. Jump in someone's truck, go down to the river or something. My mom was at work but I was feeling just worse for wear. Heavy humid summers did a number on my lungs." Steve paused, moving his hands gently along her back. Avery hummed quietly.

Content.

"So Bucky came home early, basically dragged me out of bed, and we sort of snuck into a series of neighbourhood barbecues, sneaking food and soda and I'm sure Buck nabbed a beer. We eventually climbed a fire escape and sat up on a rooftop and watched the fireworks. He'd make up dumb stories about the constellations and we would dream about our summer adventures."

Avery wasn't sure what she liked more - the way Steve's chest rumbled as he talked or the genuine joy in his tone as he recalled his memories with Bucky. She felt honoured that he would tell her something personal and close to his heart.

His heart was thumping steady and loud.

Maybe it was the soothing touch of his hands or his radiant warmth, but all Avery could feel was sleep returning to her. She grumbled quietly.

"Should probably go help with breakfast," she said to him, turning her head to meet his eyes.

"Why? Do they need someone to burn the eggs this morning?" Steve squeezed her side.

"Okay, that was mean," Avery replied, pouting her lips.

"Is that your angry face? Because it's not working, sweetheart." Steve grabbed her waist and suddenly flipped them over, looming atop her as he supported himself with his arms caged around her head. She continued to pout and scrunch up her face, trying to turn away from him as he kissed along her jaw.

She brought her hands up to his forearms. "I think I have a very good angry face, thank you very much."

"Sure, yeah. Of course. Hope I never have to really see it." He leaned down closer and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "How's your shoulder feeling?"

Avery shrugged, wiggling her left shoulder around. "Less sore this morning."

"Well, if you want a back massage to help, say the word." He collapsed down beside her on the bed, pulling her close to his torso under his arm. "Or I guess we should get up and face the day."

"Just..five more minutes of this, okay?" She closed her eyes, nuzzling her head into his neck.

"Like I can argue with that."

* * *

Steve didn't like to make a big deal out of his birthday. Of course the hands of fate had let him burst into the world on July 4th - an ironic twist of his life. People always thought it was a gimmick, a marketing ploy that Captain America shared his birthday with the great nation he served and protected. It overshadowed Steve Rogers.

Even when they were kids, Bucky tried to ensure Steve still got to be Steve on his birthday. Even if there was a neighborhood cookout, Bucky would insist on a birthday song for Steve. He'd make sure there wasn't a god awful ugly patriotic themed birthday cake. To him, Steve deserved the attention and love that day. It wasn't about the independence of their country, it was about his best friend having a day to himself.

Waking up with Avery and Bucky was the perfect start to his day.

Now, they had another warm day ahead. No boat ride, but there was talk of a touch football game, water sports, whatever a Sea-do was.

Steve headed back up towards the house after Lou had given them plenty of instructions about how they could spend their afternoon. He went on and on about the big barbecue feast he was preparing for dinner later, too. The man clearly loved Independence Day and Steve couldn't fault him for that.

At the top of the deck, Steve paused and resisted greeting Avery with a kiss when she smiled at him from her seat beside her cousin. "I don't want to jinx it, but Bucky said he was changing into his swim trunks. Wants to zip around on one of those machines." He crossed his arms, unintentionally flexing his arms against his white t-shirt.

Avery's face lit up as she listened to him. "Really? Yesssss. Even if he keeps his shirt on in the water, I will accept that." She jumped up from her seat and headed to the staircase, stopping herself from brushing against Steve. "You're coming too?"

He nodded with a smile. "Just gonna grab some water."

Avery smiled back, motioning for Kasey to head down to the cabin with her. Steve watched them go, giggling together as Avery shushed her cousin about some comment she made at the bottom of the stairs.

Steve just sighed to himself. This might turn into his favourite birthday in recent years. He headed into the house, making his way towards the fridge to grab a bottle of water. He grabbed a few, actually, figuring Avery and Bucky could use some hydration while out in the sun.

He paused before closing the fridge, hearing a few voices climbing up the stairs from the lower level. The basement of the house had a laundry room and one additional bedroom Avery's brother had been sleeping in. That was one of the voices Steve heard.

He didn't mean to eavesdrop - _he blamed his sensitive hearing_ \- but when he realized the second voice belonged to Charlie, he stilled.

" _All I'm saying is, I wouldn't trust my sister with that guy."_

" _Charlie, you say that like I have a choice in who she dates."_

" _Nash, dude. He's an assassin. I know they tried to scrub his history off the Internet but it's still out there. He needs to be locked up. He's a weapon, a murderer."_

Steve's grip on the handle of the fridge tightened. He had to pull away when he felt the metal collapsing under his palm.

He didn't hear Nash reply for a few seconds.

" _What am I supposed to do about it?"_

" _First of all, get Lou's head out of Captain America's ass. Your dad has this flaw where he sees the best in people and if that murderer is best friends with Captain America, Lou is going to just see the gloss over it. There's no way he actually trusts him around her."_

" _Yeah, I see what you mean."_

Their voices were getting clearer as they reached the main level of the house. Steve slowly shut the fridge door, leaving the water bottles on the counter.

"And what the fuck is up with his arm? Aren't you worried he might snap and go crazy? He could murder your sister in less than ten seconds. He's a _monster._ "

As they turned the corner into the kitchen area, Steve let out a small cough. Charlie's eyes went wide for a second then narrowed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nash just sighed. "Hey Steve, sorry if you heard all that. It's just -

Steve took one step forward towards them, hands at his side. "You might think you know and understand some things because you've read some old news articles. But I'm not going to sit here and ignore the ignorant things you just spouted off." Steve took a deep breath, narrowing his eyes at Charlie. "Bucky was a prisoner of war. His past is in the past and it's not something that he can undo."

"Listen, I get that you're his best friend, _Cap._ " Charlie rolled his eyes. "Doesn't change the fact he killed a bunch of innocent people."

Steve cocked his head to the side. "I'm sure you have too, _soldier_. And most people, Bucky especially, are remorseful."

Nash took a step forward and raised his hand. "Steve, c'mon. Charlie is just mouthing off. You can back down. I trust my sister to know who she's dating and I'm not worried about it." Steve met his eyes. He didn't believe a word of what he said but Steve couldn't bear to push.

He was already riled up enough.

Steve took a step back, shaking his head. He grabbed the water bottles and let a smile grow across his face. "Let me just set one fact straight: Bucky _could_ easily kill someone in less than ten seconds. But he would never - _never_ \- cause Avery harm."

Charlie opened his mouth to spit back at Steve but Nash threw his arm over to hit him in the chest. "Leave it alone, dude." Nash shook his head and stood tall, facing Steve before he left the room. "I realize he's your friend Steve, but you can understand my reservations."

Steve let out a short laugh, raising an eyebrow. " _Your_ reservations?" His eyes darted between Nash and Charlie. "Maybe you should worry less about the people your sister spends time with and reflect on your own relationships, instead."

* * *

Avery sent the boys off to play around on the lake and decided on laying out in the sun instead. She wasn't certain she'd have the time to just _relax_ like that for a while after this weekend, between work, finishing up the plans for Lora's bachelorette party and then the wedding. So, she parked herself on a blanket near the small sandy beach area beside the dock and let the rays of the sun warm her skin.

Kasey had somehow convinced Sam to go out in the canoe with her, much to his dismay. He seemed a bit captivated by the redhead and it didn't take much of an arm twist to get him in the small boat. But boy, was he going to complain.

Luke joined Bucky and Steve on the lake on the convoy of Sea-dos and surprisingly, Sienna asked Avery if she could lay out with her. She was happy to have the company, though Avery had been hoping to read a book quietly instead of talking to the blonde.

But, Avery had been too quick to judge the girl. She found out Sienna was actually getting a political science degree with the intention of getting into family law in the future. She had found out about the surplus of misplaced families and children when the _blip_ happened and wanted to try and make a difference. Avery didn't mind the conversation - in fact, it was like they were becoming friends.

Their moment in the sun was interrupted soon enough by Nash and Charlie heading towards the dock, beers in hand.

Charlie paused beside the girls as Nash climbed onto the pontoon boat.

"Nice view, ladies," Charlie said as he scanned his eyes over both Avery and Sienna.

"Fuck off," Avery replied quickly, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest. She tilted her head to look past him. "Nash, driving a boat intoxicated is still considered illegal."

"First beer of the day," Nash called out, flipping off his sister with a playful smile as he started up the boat. "You guys wanna come for a float?"

"With him? Hard pass," Sienna muttered out, rolling her eyes at Charlie.

Charlie looked at Avery again. "Nice suit, Avery. Did you pick that out for your boyfriend's boyfriend?"

"Porter, let's fucking go. Leave them alone." Nash called out again. Charlie turned with a final smirk and jogged towards the boat. Avery let out a frustrated groan as they left.

"Your bikini is cute," Sienna jumped in, pulling up her sunglasses to smile at Avery.

Avery laughed quietly to herself. She tried to talk Bucky out of the whole thing but he was insistent she put on the patriotic swimsuit he purchased for her. Admittedly, if it wasn't teetering on _tacky_ , the cut of the suit was cute. The high waisted bottoms were flattering and reminiscent of a vintage look. And the top was a bit racy, with Captain America's shield and a pattern of stars a la the United States flag decorating the triangle cuts of fabric that covered her chest. She had been wearing a t-shirt still when Steve left on the water but she was eager for him to come back and see her.

"Thanks," Avery finally replied, laying back on the blanket again.

"Forgive my forwardness but you agree Charlie is awful, right?" Sienna continued. "Especially after what he did to you yesterday."

A hard laugh escaped Avery. "Yes. The worst human I've ever met, if we're being honest."

"He full on grabbed my ass under my skirt the first night we met. I couldn't even bear to tell Luke about it. He's such a sleaze."

Avery pursed her lips together, anger bubbling as she took in what Sienna said. Of course it didn't surprise her that Charlie was such a pig and harassed other women, too. But it made Avery feel so terrible for not standing up for herself or telling anyone what happened years ago. If she had been honest, would she have been able to stop Charlie from doing what he did to other people, like Sienna?

"Augh, I'm sorry Sienna. You don't deserve to be harassed like that," Avery said quietly.

Sienna shrugged. "Not the first time I've been touched without permission sadly but I hate pretending to like him for Luke's sake."

"I get that," Avery replied. They fell into a silence again, leaning back on the blankets. The warmth of the sun felt different now.

Thankfully, the far off sound of motors and laughter distracted Avery enough to shake her thoughts of Charlie fucking Porter. She quickly stood and looked towards the lake to see Steve, Bucky and Luke circling back. She adjusted her top and bounded down the dock, pushing her hair over to the side and waving at them to come in.

Bucky stopped in the water near the beach and Avery could already see he was doubled over laughing. Luke followed shortly after, doing the same.

"Oh god. What happened?" Avery placed a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at the two of them.

"Let's just say, I hope Sam didn't bring his phone during that canoe ride," Bucky replied to her with a smirk, running a hand through his wet hair.

Luke laughed along. "I trust Kasey knows how to get back in a capsized canoe."

Before Avery could reply, Bucky continued. "You look great, doll."

Steve rounded out their trio and he pulled up at the dock, cutting his engine and pulling off his sunglasses. When Avery turned to him with a coy smile, she watched as his head turned in slow motion. His eyes scanned over her, blinking a few times.

Steve brought a hand up to scrub against his jaw, which by now was covered in stubble from the last few days. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Avery took a few steps towards him, leaning her hand on the front handle of the water sport machine, eyebrow cocked. "What? Do I look that bad?" She chewed on her bottom lip for a few seconds. "It was Bucky's idea."

Steve's grip tightened on the handle and he shifted slightly on the seat. "Of course it was. No, I, uh. I love it." He leaned closer towards her. "If it was possible, I would throw you over my shoulder and take you inside and show you how much I love it." He swallowed hard. "Maybe two or three times."

"Steven Grant Rogers," Avery scolded him quietly, cheeks blushing red. "Don't get me all worked up now."

Steve took a deep breath and finally moved his hands down. "Wanna go for a ride?"

"Steve, there are people watching -

"I meant on this," Steve laughed, rolling his eyes and patting the empty space on the seat ahead of him.

Avery just smiled, grabbing a discarded life jacket off the dock and strapping it on. "I get to drive though."

Eventually, everyone seemed to make it back to the house. Sam and Kasey returned from their canoe adventure, mostly dried off and with smiles on their face. Although Sam _did_ go on and on about how the other boys set him up to fail in front of the pretty girl. Afterwards, Avery gathered everyone available for a soccer game before dinner, much to the dismay of her brother.

"I just don't think all the testosterone here can handle _touch_ football," Avery said to Nash as she tied her hair up in a ponytail. Her hands landed on her hips as he stared her down, trying to argue with her statement.

"Fine. We'll play soccer. But Steve and Bucky can't be on the same team.. Advanced speed and all."

Avery rolled her eyes but was happy her brother had conceded, at least. The lawn below the lower deck wasn't vast but it was enough space to set up a small game with their group. One 'net' was set up between an old chair and the firepit while a few stacks of discarded shoes made up the posts at the other end of the greenspace.

Lou was at the top of the deck, keeping an eye on the group from below while preparing his feast for the barbeque. Suzanne was up above them as well, glass of wine in hand as she took in the scene.

"Why don't we do teams of.. Vanished vs I don't know, not vanished?" Nash suggested, pausing to turn his baseball cap backwards, eyeing around the group.

Avery pursed her lips for a moment, somehow acting like the other team captain opposite her brother. "Okay. Let's see. That would be me, Sam, Bucky and.. Sienna. Which leaves you with Luke, Charlie, Steve, Kasey, Allie _and_ Lora. So we'd be uneven."

"Oh, I am not playing. You guys are ruthless. I'm just here to cheer on whatever side Allie plays for," Lora said quickly, leaning into her fiancee for a moment before taking a seat near the firepit to watch.

"I'm also out. I did not sign up for cardio this weekend," Kasey said with a nod, joining her cousin in the spectator's area.

"Still uneven," Avery said to herself, glancing around.

"I'll play," Suzanne called from the deck, heading down the stairs. "Team Vanished."

Avery shot her a small smile, before turning back to her brother. "It's on, Felix."

"Yeah, yeah. You're going down, Felix," Nash called back to her, rolling his eyes with a laugh.

Avery waved for her team to gather in a dramatic little huddle, as if she had some sort of strategy.

"So, are we shirts or skins?" Sam joked, earning a stiff stare from Suzanne. "Shirts it is, ma'am."

The entire game, even just for fun and to blow off some energy before they all sat down for dinner, was surprisingly fun. Avery managed to dart her way through all of the blockades on the opposing team and even scored twice on Steve, who she was certain only took up the role as goalkeeper because he had the _widest_ shoulders of the bunch.

"And you said you didn't care about running," Steve said to her with a laugh as he retrieved the soccer ball.

"I will do cardio if it is for a good cause," Avery replied to him, biting at her lip.

Steve just laughed back at her, muttering under his breath as they all continued the game.

There was a single moment where Avery's bottled up feelings - the unrelenting regret, the bitter anger, the euphoric rage - bubbled up over her warm heart. It took a single phrase uttered from Charlie, quiet enough that not everyone would hear him but just loud enough that _someone_ nearby him would, that tipped her over the edge.

After Steve failed to stop an attempted goal from Bucky, he smiled wide at Bucky's celebratory cheer. Steve took a few steps forward and captured Bucky under his arms, in a headlock kind of thing, laughing loudly. Bucky wrestled his way out, matching his grin and ran his hand along Steve's back for a few moments.

It was a kind, gentle, easy moment of affection.

Then, Avery heard Charlie. They were both standing down near the other end of the 'field' but he must have known she was within earshot.

" _What the fuck? Fags.."_

It was as if time slowed down in that moment. Avery turned her head to the right, to see Charlie rolling his eyes and shaking his head, continuing to mutter to himself as he headed towards the picnic table. Before he could reach out and grab his beer, Avery was sprinting towards him.

She had gotten used to suppressing her bad memories with Charlie. It was difficult but she conceded he was a _useless piece of shit_ and didn't deserve her wasting brainpower on him. It wasn't the right thing to do - letting him get away with harassing and assaulting women was the last thing Avery wanted, but at the time of each incident, she was at a loss. But she wouldn't tolerate his backwards attitude about the people she cared about. If Charlie was bold enough to utter out some underhanded homophobic comment about Steve and Bucky merely showing affection to each other, what other deep seated issues was he harbouring? Considering he was on the guest list for Lora and Allie's wedding, Avery couldn't bear the thought of him making archaic, inappropriate comments then either.

She didn't want to deal with Charlie Porter at all anymore.

Charlie _fucking_ Porter didn't deserve the kindness of her family and Avery wasn't going to pretend his presence was necessary.

As she sprinted towards him, she shook her head, angry memories bubbling to the top of her mind.  
  


> " _C'mon, Avery. I paid for dinner. The least you can do is blow me."_
> 
> " _Aw, don't cry now. You did fine, honey."_
> 
> " _I promise we can both get off this time."_
> 
> " _I'll scream." "Maybe that's what I want."_
> 
> " _I'm out of here. You've gotten fat since high school, by the way."_
> 
> " _It's mixed signals."_
> 
> " _Did you pick that out for your boyfriend's boyfriend?"_
> 
> " _He full on grabbed my ass under my skirt the first night we met. I couldn't even bear to tell Luke about it. He's such a sleaze."_
> 
> " _What the fuck? Fags.."_

Before Avery could really formulate a plan for her rage and attack, she was leaping on Charlie's back. "You piece of shit!"

Charlie took a few steps back when he realized what was happening, doing his best to propel his momentum to shake her off. "What the fu-

"Avery Ray, have a little grace!"

"Ave!"

"Avery!"

She wasn't sure who was yelling out her name but someone was rushing over. She frankly didn't care. Charlie collapsed to his knees and threw his weight to the side, trying to get her off of his back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Avery just let out a loud scream, feeling a jolt of pain in her shoulder as he tried to fling her off, and released her arms from around his neck, turning to shove him against the chest, pushing him down onto the ground. He tumbled backwards, putting up his hands in front of his face to block her. She was about to throw herself on top of him when she felt arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her up and away from Charlie. She was quick to try and break free of the embrace, hands latching to the arms carrying her - one metal, one flesh.

Bucky tried to put her feet on the ground but she kept trying to lunge towards Charlie. "Ave, you've gotta calm down. What happened?"

It was Nash who rushed over and helped Charlie up off the ground, as everyone else from the soccer game made their way over to the scene.

"Avery, what the fuck?" Nash put himself between Charlie and his sister, who was kicking her legs out as Bucky held onto her.

"Your sister is a psycho," Charlie spat out, shaking his head and rubbing a hand against the back of his neck.

"I can't take it anymore," Avery shook her head, letting out a long exhale as she tapped on Bucky's arms to put her down. He did just that, but kept his hands on her shoulders. "Your _best friend_ Charlie is a misogynistic, homophobic sexual predator and I can't look at his face any longer."

"What are you talking about?" Nash narrowed his eyes at Avery then turned to look at Charlie over his shoulder. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do shit. She's crazy, dude," Charlie replied, crossing his arms.

"I am _not_ crazy!" Avery replied, trying to pull away from Bucky's hands with no luck. She closed her eyes, face scrunched in discomfort.

Steve and Sam had taken a few steps closer to the group, filling in the space between Charlie and Nash in case something escalated again. Everyone else fell back, quietly watching as the rest of the events unfolded.

Lora hurried inside to find the first aid kit, just in case.

Steve turned and looked over at Bucky and Avery, reaching over and grabbing a hold of her hand.

"Avery Ray," Nash took a step towards his sister, bringing his hand up and gently taking a hold of her chin. "Talk to me."

"Nash, dude, she-

"Shut the fuck up, Porter," Nash growled out, not bothering to turn around and acknowledge him directly.

When Avery opened her eyes, locking her gaze with Nash, she could feel her tears spilling over. "He sexually assaulted me..twice. I just can't hide that away anymore. Not when he just continues to get away with being such a terrible person."

Nash stilled, face stoic. "What do you mean assaulted you?"

Avery shrugged hard to shake off Bucky's hands and pulled away from Steve's grip too. She layered her arms tightly across her body, looking down as her brother's hand fell away. "Exactly what it sounds like. Why do you think I didn't tell you about our date all those years ago? And did he ever explain how he got that goose egg on his head after that night at the bar?" Her voice was low.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nash's voice was growing louder as he took in what Avery was explaining to him.

She shrugged, just slightly, head shaking back and forth again and again. "He's your best friend, Nash. I just couldn't.." She trailed off, swallowing her sobs. "I wasn't sure you'd even believe me. Then, you were gone so often and so was _he_ so I tried not to think about it.."

Avery looked up at her brother again, apprehensive about his reaction. When she met his eyes, they were soft but despondent. "Hey, I'm always on your team, Avery." Nash was wrapping her in a hug next, hand cradling behind her head and arm tightly around the small of her back. "God, I wish you had told me before." She relaxed her head against his chest for a few seconds, grateful.

He pulled away a few moments later, leaving his hand on her shoulder. Before either sibling could say anything else, Charlie's hand was on Nash's shoulder, turning him back towards his friend.

"Nash, dude, please let me explain -

Avery winced as he spoke, breath picking up at a surprising rate. Just as Bucky's hands returned to her shoulders, bringing her backwards towards his chest, Nash turned on a dime and his fist flew to crack against Charlie's face.

Charlie stumbled backward, grabbing a hold of his jaw. "Are you fucking serious, Nash? You really believe this dumb shit she's saying."

Avery's eyes grew wide as he tried to defend himself and she pulled on Bucky's embrace again, but she barely shifted under his grip.

"Avery, stop." Bucky's tone was firm. "Your shoulder is already hurt enough." He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he would have been more than happy to see Avery continue unleashing her anger on Charlie. But, Charlie had a lot of brute strength on her and the thought of letting her get hurt even more was not something Bucky could deal with.

And concentrating on Avery was the only thing keeping him from _exploding._

When Charlie continued to defend himself, it was Steve who raced forward instead of Avery.

"You're a fucking tease, Avery! It's not like I ra-

Nash raised his hand again but Steve jumped in before him. Everyone watched in slow motion as Charlie's eyes grew wide with fear, the fist of Captain America flying through the air and colliding with the left side of his face. As time sped back up, Charlie was laid out on the ground, groaning in pain.

"Sorry, man. You pulled your first punch." Steve said from the side of his mouth, looking over towards Nash.

Nash opened his mouth to argue, then nodded slightly, agreeing. He shucked his foot forward and delivered a blow to the side of Charlie's ribs, then crouched down at his side. "I'm calling a you a cab and you are getting _the fuck_ away from my family, Charlie. I don't want to hear another fucking word out of your mouth, got it?"

From the deck above, Lou called down towards them. "Give him a kick for me, too, son."

* * *

Everything felt uncomfortable following the soccer game, until Nash threw his friend into the back of an Uber. Everyone else seemed to keep their distance as the events unfolded.

Bucky had taken Avery inside the house where she had an incredibly awkward conversation with her father about _everything_. Lou seemed overwhelmed by the whole thing and a little out of his element, finally pulling Avery into a hug when she started to apologize for making such a scene on his birthday weekend.

" _Avery Ray, stop that. Right now."_ He carried on to explain that he and Nash should be the ones apologizing - for subjecting her to such an uncomfortable situation, being around Charlie again and again for so long. It was clear that even Lou himself was dealing with a lot of guilt and as Bucky and Avery left the kitchen, she was certain her father was near tears himself.

Then, she and Bucky stowed away back to the cabin for a break, passing by Steve who had been looking for Lou.

A break. Something that could really just be categorized as Avery sobbing into his chest.

Bucky was sitting at the top of the bed against the wall, running a hand up and down Avery's back as she curled up against him. This entire time - from Avery's initial leap onto Charlie's back to this moment laying in bed, Bucky had been quiet and reserved. It had been taking everything in him to not seek out Charlie and get in on the action like everyone else had.

Bucky was mad - _so mad_ \- that someone had hurt Avery. Even if one of the incidents had happened years ago and there was really nothing he could do about it now. He kept thinking about that night in the parking lot - before he even really _knew_ Avery, how she had been so resilient and honest, always fighting back even when she was in a compromised position. But that night - what if he had just gotten there quicker, saved her from slamming her head into Charlie's and taken care of the situation himself?

And even today, when she _attacked_ him - would it have been the right thing for Bucky to do if he had proceeded to intervene? Would he feel better now if he had just pummeled the guy in the face instead?

No. No. He had to remember that wasn't what this was about.

This was about Avery and making sure she was safe. Plus, Steve got a punch in and that had been incredibly satisfying to see.

To Bucky, _safe_ didn't just mean free from physical harm. That was important, of course. But it also meant safe in her mind. Was not intervening as she jumped on Charlie's back keeping her safe overall? Maybe not. But allowing her to _get that out of her system_ and start to deal with the heavy feelings would help long term. Or so Bucky could only hope.

Even if this was a turning point, maybe a cathartic thing for her to unleash, he was fighting with himself if there was more he could do now.

Slowly but surely, Avery's sobs became less and less intense. She reached her hand up and gripped Bucky's shirt, nuzzling her head into the crook of his shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

Bucky leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing important, doll. How you feelin'?"

Avery sighed. "Tired. Embarrassed. Feels like I just ruined this whole weekend."

"You didn't," Bucky soothed.

"I'm sure my dad loved that I started a fist fight."

"I will admit that your method of attack was really questionable. Does your next self defense lesson need to be about how you shouldn't instigate the fight?"

Avery laughed, turning her head to look up at him. "I had plenty of backup. Like you or Steve or even Sam would have let him even try and fight me back." She paused. "Steve punching him was super hot, though."

Bucky smirked, slinking down the bed and pulling her up to lay on top, straddling his waist. "It was, wasn't it?" She continued to laugh and it was like music to his ears.

She was okay. Well, okay enough.

To him, her smile was enough to tell him she was going to at least survive the rest of the weekend without breaking down again.

"Steve is a protector by nature," Bucky continued, slowly trailing his hands up her thighs and holding onto her hips. "We're gonna keep you safe, Ave."

Avery pressed her hands against his chest and leaned forward to find Bucky's lips, answering him with a happy moan from her mouth. She wasn't sure why this sense of safety and protection was turning her on but knowing both Bucky and Steve had her best interests in mind, always, was super charging her emotions. She chewed at his lip, a groan escaping her throat as Bucky moved her hips against his.

"Nothin' happened with you and Stevie this morning?" Bucky asked quickly before moving his lips down towards her neck.

"N-no," she replied, breath hitching as he sucked on her skin.

Bucky pulled away. "Wow, you can lead a horse to water.."

"Stop it," Avery laughed, moving to sit up as his head fell back on the pillow. "Don't get me wrong..I wanted to, I think he did too but..we just cuddled and talked. I don't know. That was still nice though."

"That does sound nice."

Avery bit her lip. "Isn't this all sort of weird though? You really wouldn't mind if I had sex with Steve?"

"It's funny - if it was anyone else in the world but Stevie... It's not like you're cheatin' on me, you know?"

"I still think we all need to talk about this. The three of us _._ " Avery trailed her fingers along Bucky's chest.

"I know. But until then, I'd say you two have gotta do whatever makes you feel good."

There was a faint knock at the door. "Just me."

Steve.

"Speak of the devil," Bucky muttered out, squeezing Avery's hips. They both turned and looked at Steve as he walked in, matching smirks on their faces.

Steve shut the door behind him and took a step towards the bed. "Sorry for interrupting."

"I'm not sure how this works but I think you of all people are allowed to interrupt," Avery said to him with a reassuring smile.

A faint blush crossed Steve's cheeks. He shook his head then motioned to Bucky. "Uh, Nash was looking for you."

Bucky nodded, gripping onto Avery and shifting his weight so she'd lay back on the bed. "I'll go find him. You should tap in for me here, punk. Avery was just telling me how hot it was that you punched someone for her."

"Hey," Avery swatted at Bucky as he ducked down to kiss her. He winked as he stood back up, heading towards the door.

"I've seen you punch so many bad guys I've become a bit desensitized," Bucky paused and brought his hand up to Steve's face, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. "Still hot though."

"Get out of here," Steve laughed, rolling his eyes and pushing Bucky towards the door.

Avery sat up on the bed and reached for Steve's hand. "Is there any way the back massage offer from this morning is still on the table?"

"Of course," Steve replied softly, holding onto her hand and letting her pull him onto the bed. He pressed a kiss against her lips then encouraged her to lay on her stomach.

Steve kneeled beside her for a moment, slowly dragging his fingers across her body. From her shoulders, down her spine, towards the small of her back, to the top of her ass. He grabbed the bottom hem of her t-shirt and moved it upwards. She understood his request, leaning up on her arms for a moment to pull her t-shirt up and over her head. She laid down again, now in just her bikini top and denim shorts.

"Can I untie this?" Steve asked quietly, fingers toying with the knot of her swimsuit.

"Yes," Avery replied, flipping her head on the pillow to look over at him. "Did you like it?"

Steve's eyes scanned along her bare back now as she pulled away the top after he pulled the strings. She tossed it to the side and he ran his hand over her bare back. Her skin was cool, smooth.

"The swimsuit?" Steve asked, continuing trailing his hands over her. "I don't wanna give Bucky the satisfaction but yes, I did. You looked adorable."

"Adorable?"

Steve laughed to himself. "And..so sexy." His voice was low. He shuffled to straddle her, careful not to press all his weight onto her back right away. "Is this okay?"

Avery assured him it was fine. Before she could even get any full words out, Steve's hands were pressing into her back. His touch was gentle but especially firm, finding knots and spots of tension she didn't even realize she was holding.

"Avery," Steve's words came out slowly, as if he was pacing himself along with his hands. "I just want to say..sorry. What Charlie did to you and..how you just packed it away after all this time, that wasn't fair."

"You had nothing to do with it, Steve."

"I know but.. I think you need to hear it. It wasn't your fault. The lack of decency for a man to treat a woman like that.. you shouldn't feel guilty for whatever consequences come out of this for him."

He felt her body still for a moment. Her voice was barely audible. "Thank you. For saying that."

He was calm, telling her to just relax as he continued on. His knuckles flexed against her shoulder blades, though he was careful not to put too much pressure on her left. When he grabbed the back of her neck, rolling his thumb deep into the tissue, a moan escaped her.

"I like that," she said into the pillow, relaxing further into the mattress.

"I do this for Bucky quite often. Especially if he's feeling anxious. Something about the pressure and release and physical contact really helps.."

"I can see how," Avery replied, reaching her arms out to the side and clutching the blanket. "Feels really good, Steve." She felt him still for just a moment, adjusting his position slightly. She could certainly feel _him._

_Pressure.. release.. physical contact.._

"You know." Avery was feeling bold. After such a tumultuous afternoon, she wanted to feel something good. Considering most of the group was up at the house helping with dinner or just staying clear of the cabin to give Avery space, she thought this would be the perfect opportunity for her and Steve both to feel good. "This is nearly the exact position Bucky and I were in the first time we kissed. Well, we were on the floor of his training room and I was on top, but you get the idea."

There was a heavy pause before Steve moved his hands again. He let his body slide down on top of hers as his hands pressed along her spine. "Tell me what happened next." His lips grazed the back of her neck, kissing along her shoulder blades.

She let out a quiet whimper again as she felt his mouth against her skin. "Well, don't let him tell you otherwise but I made the first move.." Her body started to move as her breath picked up, revelling in his touch. "You know, hands, lips..all over. He eventually picked me up and took me to his bedroom.."

Steve's mouth continued to trail along her back, slowly moving down her spine as he shuffled his body, straddling the back of her legs instead of her lower back. He squeezed her hips then hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her shorts, starting to tug them down.

Avery lifted her hips, reaching beneath to undo the button on her waist. Steve shuffled back even further, entirely off the bed and pulled her shorts away. She was left in just a pair of black underwear and when she flipped over, propping herself up onto her elbows, eyes sparkling as she looked at him, Steve nearly collapsed.

Sure, it had been _a long time_ since Steve had done anything physical with a woman. His last attempt at dating Sharon came to mind, somewhere deep in the five year mess. Their sex life had been inconsistent - much like their relationship and Sharon's overall presence in his life at the time.

But the way he was feeling now, anticipating _this exact moment_ with Avery, was unlike anything he had dealt with before. This was..special, electric. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, hating even the half second he was shielded when he tore off his own shirt. He crawled up the bed, collapsing on top of her.

Avery's hands found his hair, running her fingers through his tresses and pulling gently as his lips wrestled with hers. Steve was soft, soft, soft. His body on top of hers was heavy, like a protective shield. Skin on skin, every touch between them felt so so _good._

As Steve's mouth disappeared from her lips, a loud gasp sounded from Avery while he licked along her chest. His hands explored, pulling, and twisting here, kissing and biting there.

"You've gotta be quiet, sweetheart," Steve mumbled out against her neck. "Can you do that for me?"

Avery nearly died at his tone. Demanding yet gentle.

She could do _anything for him._

"Mmhmm," she said, chewing her bottom lip, nodding as Steve's mouth continued whatever it was doing. She stretched out her arms, clutching onto the bed sheets as Steve's hand moved down towards her waistband.

"Yesterday you said everything from the waist up," he said with a smirk, slipping his finger under the elastic.

Avery propped herself up for a moment to meet his lips. "I would say waist down is fair game, now, too."

She was barely done her sentence when Steve's fingers dipped towards her center, running up and down the arousal she could not hide.

"Damn," he murmured out, slowly circling his index finger around her. "Is this because of me?"

Avery moaned out a yes between her closed lips.

She writhed under his touch, moving to shove down her underwear. Steve took over and pulled them down her legs, tossing them off the bed. "Need you, Stevie. Please."

"Not yet. Just...I need to," Steve fumbled through his words, looking up towards Avery on the bed. "Taste."

He paused, raising an eyebrow briefly. "Can I -

"Yes, please."

She sighed as his tongue lapped against her. Her quiet breathing escalated quickly into _moaning_ as he worked, and he reached to squeeze her hip as a reminder to be quiet. Without moving his head, Steve reached to shake off his own shorts, desperate for his own escape.

"Please," Avery whined out again. She wasn't entirely sure what she was asking for - maybe for him to keep going, to make her legs shake with his tongue and fingers, or for him to just.. fuck her.

That was.. definitely what she wanted.

She needed it.

She couldn't get another word out before Steve _picked up the pace_ \- he could feel her clenching around his fingers, breath becoming more and more erratic. She pleaded his name quietly, bucking her hips upwards. He encouraged her to just let go and his jaw dropped open in awe as the feeling rushed through her body, toes curled at his side, legs quivering.

"You okay?" Steve was half kidding when he asked but her closed eyes and panting breath was a bit concerning.

She nodded, reaching out for him. "Yes, very okay." He crawled up the bed and pressed his lips to hers. It occurred to her suddenly that she was tasting herself on him and while she thought she would feel embarrassed, she instead felt even more turned on somehow. "Need you.."

"I'm realizing now I don't have a condom. Unless Bucky thought to…" Steve said suddenly, propping himself up above her.

"That's okay. Bucky and I don't.. he's the only person I.." Avery trailed off. "I want you, Steve. And I trust you." He met her gaze. "I've been on birth control for years… but we can wait if you don't want -

That was enough permission for him. He pressed another kiss, hard, to her lips. With his hips aligned in between her legs, Steve was slow and steady, patient and willing to go at whatever speed needed for her to adjust.

"Holy shit." She gasped as he started to move and a content smile grew on her face.

Again, were these boys blessed because of the super serum? Because, oh, she was a touch uncomfortable until she got used to Steve's size.

"Good?" Steve smiled down at her, occasionally letting an equally quiet grunt leave his own mouth.

"So..so good," she replied, closing her eyes and pressing her head into the pillow. Steve's pace increased just a bit, hooking his left hand underneath her waist and reaching his right hand up to grab her left. He reached their hands up above her head, tangling his fingers with hers as he found her mouth.

Somehow, it felt quick and slow all at once. Everytime Avery felt like screaming out, Steve managed to quiet her with his lips, whispering his thoughts into her ear.

He didn't let go of her hand the whole time, as if they were tethered at the palm.

"Harder," she whispered, reaching her free hand up to cradle Steve's face.

"I don't know if you or the bed can take it, sweetheart," Steve replied with a chuckle, leaning in to nip at her lips.

"Try me," she replied, narrowing her eyebrows into a defensive look. "I'll tell you if it's too much."

Steve thought for a second then nodded, giving in to her request. Using his left hand, he pushed up her right leg, bending it slightly to change his angle and increase his leverage. His pace increased, just as she asked. He controlled himself as best as possible, but he thrusted with an incredible passion, with a steady, thorough rhythm. He gripped her leg tighter, fingers pressing deep into the soft skin of her thigh.

"Ohhh fuck," Avery cried out, biting down on her lip to try and contain her volume. "Yes, yes, oh my god Steve."

"Shhh," Steve bit his own lip as he watched her come undone, calling out her climax under her breath. She clamped tightly around him, sending Steve over the edge just the same. His lips locked with hers as they both came down, breath heavy. Steve fell over onto his back beside her.

Before either of them could formulate a sentence, there was a knock at the door. "You two about done?"

Bucky _fucking_ Barnes walked in with a smug smirk on his face, laughing to himself as Avery tried to hide under the sheets and Steve rolled his eyes.

Bucky had a warm washcloth in his hand and he tossed it towards Steve.

"Really Buck," Steve murmured out, catching the damp cloth in his hand. He turned to Avery. "You okay?"

She pulled down the sheet, sending a glare in Bucky's direction. God, she could just kill him.

"I'm great, Stevie," she replied, maintaining her eye contact with Bucky across the room. "Can you do me a quick favour and punch one more person in the face on my behalf?"

* * *

The ultimate wrap up to the 4th of July weekend was Lou Felix's barbecue feast. He always went above and beyond, working at the grill and ensuring each and every side dish was exactly right for the family's guests. Lora stepped in and did most of the prep work, Allie acting as sous chef, and by the time everyone sat down at the large table on the deck, there was quite the feast to be enjoyed.

Avery finally felt relaxed - really relaxed - as she sat and enjoyed her dinner. She didn't realize the boundary she had put up in her mind that seemed to have disappeared now. Whether it was relieving herself of the years of guilt and bad feelings surrounding Charlie or the _physical activity_ with Steve that finally mellowed her out, she wasn't sure. But as she picked away at her dinner, watching down the table as everyone talked and laughed, she had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.

Maybe it was just her imagination but everyone seemed more relaxed with one less person joining their meal. Nash, especially, seemed more comfortable.

Avery made a conscious effort to sit beside Suzanne and get to know her better. She was still apprehensive and admittedly a bit uncomfortable about the idea of her dad spending time with a woman who wasn't her mom, but seeing them get along and interact all weekend helped a bit. And the more she got to know Suzanne, or Suzie as Lou liked to use, the more she realized they had a lot in common.

Suzanne has vanished during the snap, returning seconds later to her husband having remarried and abandoned their home. She told Avery how she spiraled and lost hope, only regaining some semblance of normalcy when she developed a new routine and better attitude. That led her to taking a class at a community center in her new neighbourhood where she met a retired army general who was volunteering at a veterans event.

"You should ask your father about the ballroom dancing class we took," Suzanne said with a coy smile, taking a long sip of her red wine.

Avery laughed, gasping dramatically. "I have never in my life seen Lou even try to dance. He blames his lack of proper feet for misleading him always."

Across the table, Bucky had been watching Avery throughout dinner. She seemed to be glowing now, a carefree cadence to her laugh as she talked with her father's partner. It put him at ease, seeing her anxiety and stress free finally. Even though she had been enjoying her weekend, he could tell that something had shifted in her now. He could see it in her smile - _he loved her smile_ \- and how it always reached her eyes.

Earlier, after he left her with Steve and all their sexual tension, he had found her brother down near the fire pit.

" _Steve said you were looking for me?"_

_Nash was sitting and staring into the dry, leftover ashes in the circular fire pit. He nodded, just barely, motioning for Bucky to take a seat._

_They both sat there in silence for a few minutes._

" _Listen, Bucky. I don't know where to start. I understand what happened in your past was not something you agreed to. It still happened and maybe that's not always going to be front of mind for me." Nash paused, finally looking up towards him. "But today, I saw your restraint. I did. When everything happened with Porter, you held back."_

_Bucky pursed his lips together. "I wanted to crush his windpipe, trust me."_

" _But you didn't. Instead, your priority was my sister. That didn't go unnoticed. In fact, you've gained a ton of my respect because of it."_

" _I appreciate that." Bucky shuffled forward in his seat and shifted to look at Nash. "I did it for her sake. Not to prove myself respectable to you or your dad or anyone else. Avery is important to me."_

_Nash just nodded. More silence followed. Eventually, a small smile grew on his face. "Honestly, if you're willing to put up with Avery, especially after that episode today, you have my blessing. Even though I know you don't need it nor did you ask for it. I just.. get a bit nervous, I worry about.."_

_Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're worried you're gonna lose her again."_

_Nash glanced back to the empty fire pit. "Yeah."_

" _I get it." Bucky reached his hand out and clamped it on his shoulder. "Between me and Steve, she'll be safe. I promise you that."_

_Nash nodded again. "Not that she needs your protection or mine. God, she's always been a fighter. You know she was actually asked to leave a karate class when she was a kid?"_

Bucky knew he and Nash were likely never going to be _friends_ but at least there was an understanding. That was all he could ask for as their weekend came to a close.

Bucky caught Avery's gaze for a brief moment as she reached across the table to grab something, her smile soft, cheeks suntouched red. She just looked so.. Was beautiful the word he wanted to use?

Her sun kissed shoulders were covered in a sky of freckles now. She was dressed in a simple little floral sundress - after discovering a hand shaped bruise forming on the back of her right thigh from Steve, they all thought covering up her legs as much as possible was the right choice - and under the fading pink sky, she was just glowing with a warm, content feeling. When she smiled at him, Bucky felt that hit him deep in his heart.

He had to resist touching his own chest in case it was _actually_ glowing.

Allie came over as dinner ended, whispering in Avery's ear then leading her inside. They cleared some dishes then returned with two large pans of dessert, with flickering candles on top. A terribly offkey rendition of _Happy Birthday_ started, led by Sam. In front of Lou went a peach cobbler while Steve was presented with a chocolate cake, both desserts having been prepared by Kasey, Allie and Sam the day before.

There was an apple pie for America's birthday, too.

After dinner was cleaned up and the night sky was rolling in, littering the sky with stars, Lou gathered _everyone_ in the kitchen. Their whole group stood surrounding the kitchen island and all that sat in front of them was a bottle of whiskey and a stack of shot glasses. Avery stood in front of Bucky, who was leaning back against the kitchen counter. His left arm was tucked around her waist as she leaned into him. Steve stood at their side.

"For all you newcomers," Lou started, motioning his hand around the space. "This is Felix tradition." Nash stepped up beside him and lined up the shot glasses as Lou popped open the bottle of amber coloured liquor.

"We do this together to celebrate exactly that, being together. But, this is also for those who aren't with us here anymore." Lou filled the glasses with a steady hand, as if this was something he was used to doing over the years. "I'm not asking all of you to unpack your trauma and loss, but we like to toast to those we've lost over the years. Out loud, if you want. To yourself. That's okay."

Once everyone had the small glass - _following Steve's quickly shut down argument about how Lou shouldn't waste top shelf liquor on him and Bucky_ \- Lou raised his hand.

"This is for my Marie and our Jeremy."

Avery glanced towards her brother and sister across the circle.

" _To mom and Jer-bear."_

" _For Jeremy -_

" _For Leanna -_

" _To my abuela -_

" _For Riley -_

" _For Nat and Tony -_

" _To my mom and dad -_

" _For Auntie Marie -_

" _For the Commandos -_

" _To Chester -_

Lou raised his hand high as they all drank together, a series of reactions sounding out afterwards as the whiskey was felt on everyone's throats.

When they were finished, Nash clapped his hands together and raised an eyebrow. "Now, I don't think I will ever have this opportunity again but please tell me I get to play beer pong with Captain America now."

While Lou and Suzanne headed out to start a fire, somehow the great room of the lake house was transformed into some sort of frat party. Even though Steve reminded Nash and Luke _again and again_ that going head to head at beer pong with him and Bucky was not going to work in their favour, the boys continued on.

Bucky had never played _beer pong_ before, but the premise of getting a tiny white ball into the cup across the table was easy enough. Between him and Steve and their tactical aim, they didn't miss one shot. Avery watched them from across the room, where the girls and Sam were all sprawled out across the couches playing some card game they had turned into a drinking game.

Between the sun, sex, alcohol, and watching Steve and Bucky smile from across the room, Avery was feeling some sort of inebriated. It probably didn't help that her cousin was keeping Avery's plastic cup full all evening.

"Okay, okay, fine. Aside from the ones in the room, who is your favourite Avenger then?" Sam was on beer number four or five, and while his question was clearly being directed in a flirty way at Kasey as they snuggled against each other on one end of the couch, it seemed to prompt enough discussion to engage their whole group. The boys' game of beer pong had ceased and they were just standing around chatting.

Avery turned her head to look towards Steve and Bucky in the kitchen as Sienna started rambling on about Thor and Allie defended her arguments for the Hulk.

As if it was planned, Bucky and Steve both turned their heads and met her gaze at the same time, laughing at the dopey smile on her face. She couldn't believe they were _hers_. Not that this was a possessive relationship but .. those two centenarians, hot bodies balanced with kind hearts, were _hers._

She still couldn't believe it.

"What about Ant-Man?" Luke jumped in from across the room. "He's an Avenger, right?"

Sam laughed. "I mean, technically."

"What?" Avery's head turned around quickly, pausing to take a big gulp of her drink. "Ant-Man definitely isn't real."

"Yes, he is, doll." Bucky jumped in, laughing in awe at her commentary. "In fact, we have video footage of him kicking Sam's ass."

"I would love to see that," Kasey said with a smirk.

"I thought we agreed to scrub that security footage, Cap," Sam complained, leaning back into the couch. "Trust me Avery, he's real."

"No. No way. That's some sort of Stark technology illusion." Avery shook her head, arms crossed over her chest. "That video of him in that lake in California? As big as Godzilla? Fake."

"That was the ocean, Ave," Steve added in, tilting his head slightly. "Maybe we should cut you off."

"Hey," Avery turned back towards them, an angry pout on her face. "Just because I'm airing my honest opinions about the fake Avenger Ant-Man does not mean I'm drunk."

"No, I think it's the fourth shot that pushed you over the edge, actually," Lora jumped in, tossing the cards down on the coffee table before her. "Speaking of. I say we do one more before the fireworks?"

Lou reluctantly let the group of drunk adults get onto his pontoon boat. The family patriarch soon realized his grown up children made their own choices and if that meant getting drunk, they had their own actions to deal with. But despite that, he would still honour the tradition of watching the fireworks out on the lake.

Avery didn't realize how lightheaded she was until she stood up off the couch. Which is why she took her preferred mode of transportation down towards the boat - Steve's back.

Bucky trailed behind the whole group, alongside Allie. He had Avery's discarded sweater in his hands.

"The Felix family crest has a saying, you know," Allie started, nudging Bucky with her elbow as they trailed down the stairs onto the lawn. "Non tractamus spirituum."

"Really?" Bucky turned his head to look towards her, catching her amused smile.

"Yeah. It means 'cannot handle spirits' - I've never seen Lora without a hangover yet.." Allie trailed off, pointing out the loud laughter of her fiancee down on the dock. "She doesn't hold back."

"Drunk Avery threw up in front of me twice. Before we were even dating," Bucky replied to her, laughing at the recalled memories as they walked across the lawn. "Hungover Avery is funny, though."

Bucky paused to watch as Steve helped Avery off his back, putting his hand on her shoulder as they walked onto the boat. He smiled to himself.

That warm feeling in his chest resurfaced _again_.

"You know," Allie's voice was quiet and slow. "Love comes to us in really unexpected ways sometimes." She reached her hand out and grabbed Bucky's left hand for a moment. "Just remember that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. If you and Steve and Avery are happy together, that is what's important."

Bucky's mouth dropped open slowly, turning to look at Allie directly. Even in the dull moonlight, her coy smile was shining bright. "Huh."

"Oh, come on. My emotions are a blessing and a curse. All three of you are _oozing love_ this weekend, it's honestly a bit exhausting," Allie released his hand and gave him a soft push towards the boat. "Go, be with your lovers."

Before Lou started the motor, he paused to find Bucky, Sam and Steve on the boat. "Now, these fireworks happen off the far side of the lake. We won't get too close, but it can still be loud. I know you all said you were fine with it, but.. If you need earplugs, I've got em."

Avery couldn't stop smiling. Her cheeks were flushed and warm, leaning into Bucky on one of the couch seats at the front of the pontoon boat. Her face was flat against his left arm and she was particularly enjoying how the metal felt against her skin. One of her legs was draped up on the seat, hooked over Steve's legs beside her. His hand was on her knee, drawing small circles on her skin with his thumb.

It was subtle, how the three of them found a way to be touching, even in the darkness. But Avery felt it. Not only against her skin, but deep down in her chest.

She couldn't stop smiling.

Under the bright stars in the sky, in the middle of the lake, the boat motor was shut off and the anchor dropped. A few other boats from nearby houses joined them, at a distance. When the fireworks started, lighting up the sky across the way, the conversation stopped. For however long the show above them lasted, life seemed to exist on another level.

Just for those long, extended moments, Avery felt like she was in another life. A life where each and every step she had taken had led her to this very moment. Where she was destined for _this moment_ \- to be paused in time with two men she loved, enjoying their company and their gentle touch.

_Love._

Avery closed her eyes for a moment.

Bucky's right hand found her cheek next, fingers grazing her skin. "If you're going to throw up, maybe direct it off the boat."

She laughed, leaning into his hand. "I'm not going to throw up."

Steve squeezed her knee. "Are you okay?"

Avery just nodded, reaching out to grab Steve's hand. She tangled her fingers with his and held it close, up against her chest.

_Love, love, love._

After the fireworks, Nash wanted to carry things on at the fire and most of the group headed that way as they unloaded from the boat. Avery, caught between awake and asleep after the lights show, knew her bed was calling.

She walked towards the cabin under Bucky's arm, with Steve following closely behind. "Did you guys see Sam and Kasey _holding hands_ -

"Yes, you already whispered very loudly about that, doll," Bucky replied to her quietly, sending a side glance to Steve who was just shaking his head with a laugh. "You need to drink some water."

Avery did a small twirl when they got to the bedroom, dropping down onto the bed and grabbing Bucky's hand. "No. _You_ need to come over here and make out with me."

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. Steve came into the room a few moments later, bottle of water in his hand.

"No one is makin' out when you're drunk, Ave," Bucky replied, leaning back against the old dresser on the wall across from the bed.

Avery pouted and turned to look at Steve. "Bucky is being unreasonable. Will you make out with me?"

Steve took a step forward and leaned in towards her, stopping when their faces were side by side. His breath was hot against her. "No." He shot back up and handed her the bottle of water. "Nice try, though."

"Not fair," Avery grumbled, opening the water bottle and taking a few sips. "What's the point in having two boyfriends.. Haven't been kissed in hours…"

"You'll survive," Bucky said, rolling his eyes. "You sleepin' in that dress?"

Avery took a few more sips and closed the water bottle, falling flat onto her back. She brought her right forearm up and laid it across her eyes.

Steve took a seat on the bed beside her. "You okay?"

"Yes I'm fine but I just want to pause time. Can we do that? This weekend has been so nice mostly but I don't wanna go back to real life yet because what happens next.."

Bucky sighed and took a seat on the other side of her. He reached to pull her hand down from her eyes. "Avery."

"I'm scared, okay?"

"Scared of what, sweetheart?"

"This. You two and me. Us. What happens now?"

"Well, you're gonna have to get used to Steve's obsessive need for cleanliness. Forget about leaving a mug on my coffee table ever again.."

"Buck," Steve shot him an annoyed glance across the bed.

"What? Just tellin' the truth. Don't get me started on this one and her _plants_ , Stevie. Every single day it's like a news report on how Frank turned a new leaf or -

"Who's Frank?"

"My fiddlefig..fiddle leaf…" Avery sighed and pointed towards Steve. "My biggest, greenest son." She paused, eyes growing wide. "Oh my god. What if Bea gave him too much water this weekend? Oh my god Frank." She took a deep breath, choking back a sob.

"Avery baby, hey," Bucky shifted and leaned over her, running a hand across her forehead to brush her hair back. "I'm sure Frank is fine. Don't work yourself up over that now. You probably need to sleep."

She leaned into his hand, swallowing a yawn as her eyes closed. "Not tired."

"Right." Steve stood up and grabbed whatever clothes she had been sleeping in.

"C'mon, doll," Bucky was quiet and gentle as he encouraged her to stand up, peeling off her dress and helping her into her pajamas. Before she fell back onto the bed, Steve urged her to finish off the bottle of water.

"Are you going out to the fire? Please stay until I fall asleep, at least," Avery was barely audible as she mumbled. Bucky and Steve got into the bed beside her, flanked at either side. She curled up onto Bucky's shoulder, reaching behind to make sure Steve was cuddled up against her back, too.

Bucky just smiled and kissed the top of her head. Steve did the same, holding onto her waist. If every day could start and end like this some day, they'd all be grateful.

"We're not going anywhere, Avery."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Oh my goodness, what a weekend. I have so many thoughts and feelings and wow. See ya never, Charlie. And yes, there is still some awkwardness and uncertainty around this triad of a relationship. It can't all be easy but at least they got some nice moments together this weekend. Fun fact: in my original draft, Avery and Steve had 'first thing in the morning' sex followed by the implication that she got horizontal with Bucky too but..it was.. not right. There is a real delicate balance to how this plays out!
> 
> Thank youuuu thank you thank you immensely to all of you reading this tale. God, I never dreamed it would evolve how it did but I just ironed out the rest of the plot until the end. What an adventure and thank you for being along for the ride.
> 
> Also completely unrelated..I've somehow started plotting out a ten part enemies to lovers Bucky/Reader story because I can't help myself. Welp. Mainly as a challenge because I've never really written from that POV and I wanna keep it under 100k. Just a lil project you may see in the future..
> 
> Next: back to the city, back to real life. Things at work are about to get..complicated. And what is that creeping unsettling feeling? Doubt?


	19. Bubble

Every part of Avery's body felt _heavy_ when she stirred awake on Sunday morning. There had been worse mornings in her recent history but she still grumbled to herself with regret as she flipped over on the bed. It was empty on either side of her. She stretched her arms out and opened her eyes slowly, hissing quietly at the bright sun streaming in from the far window. A groan escaped her lips.

"Ah, sleeping beauty." Avery rolled her neck and looked towards the voice at the open door. There stood Sam, arms crossed, smirking at Steve who leaned against the door frame.

She groaned in response to Sam's comment. "It's weird to watch people sleep."

"Well, when you're the last one still in bed and we have a bet going on -

Steve swatted Sam's chest to cut him off.

"Fine. All I'm saying is Allie owes me five bucks." Sam laughed and nudged Steve's arm, heading away from the door. Steve headed into the room and sat down beside Avery on the bed.

"Happy to see you're alive," he said with a small smile, gently squeezing her hip. "How are you feeling?"

Avery opened one eye and looked up at him. "I've had worse mornings. Water last night helped I think." She sat up slowly and groaned as a wave of nausea rushed through her. "Or not. What time is it?"

"Half past nine." Steve stood and extended his hand to her. "Plenty of coffee and breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen."

"I didn't mean to sleep so late," Avery said quickly, shoulders slumping. "Sorry."

"Buck and I both thought you needed the rest," Steve replied softly, leaning in and kissing her forehead. "You probably need a shower, too. Maybe brush your teeth." He tussled her hair as he pulled away and she pouted.

"Wow. Okay, Rogers. Sweet to sassy in just one sentence, huh."

"That's the Avery formula, isn't it?" Steve wrapped her into a hug, pressing his lips against her forehead and face again and again and again. She giggled under him, closing her eyes and leaned against his chest.

"When you're done and packed up I can take your stuff to the car," Steve continued, releasing her from his arms and glancing towards her discarded pile of clothes spilling out of her duffle bag.

Avery's smile dropped slightly. Right. They were going back to the city that afternoon. After the anticipation of this weekend finally arriving, she was just as quickly reminded it was coming to an end. She gave Steve another kiss as he departed for the house, leaving her to pack and shower.

The cabin was safe. The lakehouse was a haven. If she could pause time and let them just live in a happy little bubble for the rest of time, everything would feel this content forever. But Avery knew life didn't work that way. She knew tomorrow brought back emails and laundry and groceries and missions and early morning alarm clocks.

But it also brought possibility.

Bucky woke up before Steve and Avery. He crawled out of bed alone, pausing to look back at them both sleeping peacefully. Overlapped with one another. Avery was dead weight - he had seen her sleep off a hangover before - but even with her hair in disarray and flushed face from the sun, God, she looked so lovely. And content. He reveled in the security for a few extra seconds, then quietly got dressed and headed out of the cabin.

The dewy grass was damp under his toes but the morning air felt refreshing deep in his lungs. Weeks ago, when Avery suggested this trip to the lakehouse, he had no idea what to expect. He had been nervous about a lot of it - meeting her family, especially her dad, topping the list of stressful activities. Everything worked out better than he expected and somehow, even with the temporary presence of a certain cretin, he was happy with how the weekend went. Happy. Was that the right word?

He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his zippered hoodie and made his way down towards the dock. The lake was peaceful first thing in the morning. A few birds echoed across the water, a family of ducks floated by. A strange feeling of serenity washed over him.

Peaceful.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, still, staring out across the lake. His head turned and looked back when he heard footsteps approaching from behind. There stood Lou, dressed in a wool cable knit sweater, shorts and ratty old sandals, carrying two mugs. He gave Bucky a small smile as he approached and stood at his side, offering him a mug of coffee.

Bucky happily accepted, murmuring a thank you.

Lou stared out, just as Bucky was. "This is always my favourite time of day. Even when the kids were little, even during any tour across the world. Break of dawn. It's a special silence."

Bucky took a long sip of his coffee, nodding along.

Lou let out a long breath. "I was in Bolivia in the late 80s. Our team was assisting in their War on Drugs. It was a shitshow, to be frank. Bad drug traffickers and evil, evil men complicit in some terrible things. I felt more like a mercenary than an army general."

Bucky nodded again.

Lou seemed to enjoy talking in stories and Bucky didn't mind.

"We were all dressed down one night. Visiting a safe space, this little Americanized pub near our base. It was late. We were ambushed out of nowhere. Me and this young kid on the team, a fresh faced private on his first tour, got swept up into this rickety old truck. Blindfolds, zip ties. We were locked up for two weeks in the darkness before someone rescued us. Two horrible, torturous weeks and I still think about them all the time. It comes back to me without warning, unexpected flashbacks."

Lou paused. "But _you._ You're standing here beside me. Hundred something years old. You've seen and done shit I can't even imagine, son. Yet you're here now. Years and years ago, I was at this event and one of your old comrades.. Jones, I met him and even after all those years, he spoke so valiantly about Sergeant Barnes and Captain America. That shit you did for the bad guys.. that you can't forget.. that's not your legacy. I want you to know that."

Bucky nearly collapsed to tears when Lou was done talking. It was overwhelming. Even on Bucky's best days, days where the sun shone bright and his past remained safely tucked away in his mind, it still lingered. All of it. Things he couldn't undo, even though he knew he had no control over his actions. But hearing the sentiment from Lou, a stoic military veteran, hit him differently. He wasn't sure he could articulate his gratitude.

Bucky's mouth opened eventually. "Thank you."

Lou's right arm extended out and clamped onto Bucky's left shoulder. "You're welcome, son. Now." He gripped Bucky's bicep. "Who can I talk to about getting a new piece of hardware like this?"

* * *

Avery eventually managed to get herself together. After a long shower, fighting off her nausea, she shoved all her clothes back into her bag and threw on a pair of denim shorts and an old tee, finishing her outfit off with one of Bucky's hoodies. Of course both he and Steve had carefully folded and packed their bags perfectly.

_You can take the man out of the army.._

As she made her way up towards the house, Sienna crossed her path. Avery was surprised when she was pulled into a hug with the girl.

"Hello to you too," Avery stuttered out, shocked by the tight embrace.

"I just wanted to.." Sienna pulled away and took a deep breath, pulling on the sleeves of her draped cardigan. "I told Luke about Charlie last night. Your, uh, attack inspired me to tell the truth."

Avery sighed, a relieved smile on her face. "I'm glad you told him. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. He was really good about it. Said he wished he would have punched him after all that, too." Sienna laughed, crossing her arms. "Men."

Avery's smile grew as she listened to Sienna. "I hate to admit it but I think I get it. I mean, leaping on him was pretty satisfying."

Sienna cut in. "But Captain America punching him in the face?"

Avery laughed in agreement. "Was even better."

"Luke said he's talking to his CO about Charlie tomorrow. I'm sure a broken jaw is going to be the least of his worries now." Sienna pulled her into another hug, then even kissed Avery on the cheek before heading back towards the cabin.

Yesterday, Steve had mentioned something about Avery not feeling guilty about the consequences that Charlie might have to deal with. And she knew she shouldn't feel even an ounce of remorse for him. But there was still a strange lingering feeling that _she_ was the one who had done something wrong.

She bit her lip and headed up towards the house, sweeping past Kasey and Sam who were looking _quite snugly_ on one of the small outdoor couches. Avery met her cousin's eyes for just a few seconds and wiggled her eyebrows. Kasey mouthed a friendly ' _shut up'_ before Avery made it inside.

"Before any of you ask, no, I did not throw up," Avery glanced around the room, specifically pointing across the room to where Bucky and Allie were sitting at the dining table. She caught Bucky's gaze and smirk, then headed towards the kitchen. Steve was already pouring her a cup of coffee. "Thank you."

She took her mug and dropped down onto the chair beside Bucky, dramatically groaning and leaning into his side. He sighed with a smile and extended his arm over her shoulder. Steve sat across from them, beside Allie.

"You gonna live?" Bucky asked, rubbing his thumb against her shoulder.

"I may just sleep the whole way home," she responded, closing her eyes.

"So no annoying commentary from you _or_ Sam on the drive? What a treat." Bucky squeezed her arm, getting a laugh from Steve and Allie.

"What? Is Sam not coming with us?"

"He's driving back with Kasey," Allie answered quickly, wiggling her shoulders excitedly. "She's trying to play it cool but she's totally smitten." Allie turned her head to look out the glass door to the deck, where Sam and Kasey were sitting and talking.

"I'm a matchmaker," Avery mumbled out triumphantly, nodding against Bucky. "Did I really make it out of bed before Lora and Nash?" She turned her head to look around the room. She could hear a shower running upstairs.

"Lora was up puking around four this morning so I let her stay in bed, but sounds like she's finally been reborn," Allie answered, sweeping her hair over her shoulder as she stood. "There's some bacon and potatoes warming in the oven still if you want to eat?" She headed back towards the kitchen area to replenish her coffee.

"Your brother is out in the garage with Luke and your dad," Steve continued, stretching out against the back of his chair. "Looked a bit worse for wear though."

"Dad doesn't let Nash enjoy his hangovers usually." Avery moved from beside Bucky and leaned forward onto her arms as they rested on the table. "I'm not drinking until the wedding now, I swear."

From above them, a pitter patter of steps sounded out. Avery tilted her head to look across the room where her sister was emerging and slowly moving down the wooden staircase. Lora looked pretty rough - her hair was thrown into a bun and she was hiding behind a pair of sweatpants and a plain tank top. Allie greeted her at the bottom of the stairs with a mug of coffee.

Lora groaned out a ' _thank you_ ' to her fiancée then paused at the dining table, surveying the group. From the pocket of her sweatpants, she pulled out two small envelopes, dropping them in front of Steve and Bucky.

"You two are both officially wedding guests," Lora said with a smile, taking over Allie's chair beside Steve. "Well, Bucky I already marked down with Avery. Now, I know you have world crises to solve and bad guys to wrangle but you're both on the seating chart so we'd love for you to come."

Avery's face lit up as she pushed up off the table. "Do you travel with extra wedding invitations?"

"She has a whole wedding kit," Allie answered. "It's basically the _third person_ in our relationship." Allie's eyes flicked over to Avery's with a coy smile. Avery returned a raised eyebrow to her.

"Wow, this is so kind of you both," Steve jumped in, grabbing a hold of the white envelope in front of him. He looked across the table to Avery and Bucky, who were looking at Bucky's invitation, too. "I'd love to attend."

Lora clapped her hands together excitedly, leaning back in her chair and glancing up towards Allie. "Great. So, do we start the debate now? Who looks better in a suit - Steve or Bucky?"

"Lo." Avery shot her sister an amused glance across the table. "Really?"

"What? I'm only human, Ave."

"Definitely Steve," Bucky said with a smirk, running his hand against Avery's back. "He's got a real Humphrey Bogart look to him in a suit."

Lora tilted her head. "Isn't Humphrey Bogart a Harry Potter character?"

Their conversation carried on as Avery remained resting on the table. She sipped her coffee and watched, feeling comforted by the fact that her family welcomed both Steve and Bucky in so easily. Not that it came as a surprise to her - they were both polite, respectful and friendly. Maybe Steve was a bit more social but Bucky had come out of his shell as the weekend progressed.

Truthfully, if she thought too hard about it, her blossoming relationship with Bucky and Steve scared her. A lot. As if it was too good to be true. Even having just Bucky as a boyfriend seemed like an unexpected blessing but to have them both? To now have the fear she could lose them, too?

What if they changed their mind? What if _she_ changed her mind? What if this weekend had been an anomaly - a romantic idea that won't work when they get back to the city?

What happens when her anxious brain goes from being an endearing issue they want to help her with to feeling more like an annoying burden?

She knew it was inevitable, right? This couldn't last forever.

God, it always killed her when that little door labeled 'Doubts' opened up in her mind and flooded everything else. But it made sense? The last time she thought she had everything figured out, when she figured her life was on track or _something,_ she disappeared and lost five years of her life. So suddenly, the good feelings she was relishing in seemed to grow smaller and smaller because it couldn't last forever, right?

Bucky's hand on her back brought her back from the haunting thoughts. He offered to go grab her something to eat but she shook her head, shifting to lean on him again. "You should eat something."

She shook her head again. "I'm okay right here."

They wanted to be on the road just after noon. The traffic would likely be heavier getting back into the city as everyone returned before the work week began again. Avery was really dragging her feet about leaving. Lora, Allie and Nash were staying another night with Lou and Suzanne and she was jealous of their extra time.

Steve had grabbed their bags from the cabin and after Avery went back to do one last look for anything she might have left behind, it was Nash waiting for her out on the lawn. She was dreading the conversation that was about to happen. Nash hadn't spoken to her directly since the Charlie incident the day before, instead distracting himself with the July 4th celebrations and plenty of beer. Admittedly, Avery didn't mind his aversion to the topic. Maybe it was easier to not mention it out loud ever again. Yet, there he stood. For the first time in a while, dressed in plain cargo shorts and an old band tee, Nash looked like her _brother,_ not an active military serviceman. He was guarded, shoulders slumped, arms crossed. He looked human.

Nash didn't say anything as he threw his arm across her shoulders, steering her towards the picnic table down the lawn. She sat on the top of the table, legs dangling as he stood in front of her.

"We don't have to do this, you know," Avery started, tangling her hands together in her lap. "You don't have to-

"Avery, can you just let me.." Nash paused, taking a deep breath. He shuffled his feet for a second. "You should have told me about Charlie."

Avery opened her mouth to argue but Nash raised his hand to stop her before she started. She gripped the edge of the picnic table behind her knees.

"But I know why you didn't." He swallowed hard. "I'm also fucking mad that after everything that happened yesterday, I wasn't even surprised. I know Charlie and I know how he talks about women yet.. I'm just.. I'm disappointed in myself, I guess. Which is stupid, considering you're the one who has been dealing with it after all this time.."

"Hey," Avery reached her hand out to grab his wrist. "Stop. I mean, maybe consider saying something when your friends are assholes to women but.. this isn't your fault, Nash. And I'm fine, really. I mean, I'm angry as hell but that comes and goes." She tugged on his wrist so he'd look at her. "If it gives you peace of mind, Bucky has been teaching me self defense moves so if I ever have a Charlie-like situation again, I can handle it."

Nash let out a huff but turned up a smile as he looked at her. "That _does_ make me feel a bit better, I guess." He stopped as if to consider what he was going to say next but stopped himself.

"What?" Avery narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't think now is the time to hold back whatever you're contemplating."

"He's a good guy.. Bucky." Nash started slow. "And I'm saying this because I love you and you're my sister: I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him around you. Not completely."

Avery pursed her lips and dropped her brother's hand. She took in a sharp breath. "That's..fine. It doesn't really matter to me if you trust him. You need to trust _me._ " Her head shook slightly.

"I don't want to see you get hurt, Avery Ray." Nash didn't have to clarify if he meant hurt emotionally or physically - Avery knew he would be concerned about both.

She didn't need to defend Bucky because it didn't matter. It really didn't. But she still felt a protective hardening of her chest. "Bucky is a good person who had no say in what happened when he was a prisoner. I can understand why you're feeling defensive or whatever, but it's not fair to hold that against him. He already lives with the guilt and the last thing he needs is other people reminding him of it, too." Avery cut herself off and took a deep breath. "I love you, Nash. And I'm grateful to have you looking out for me. But I'm okay and I know for a fact that Bucky would never let anything bad happen to me - at his hands or otherwise."

Both Bucky and Steve had made it very clear they were taking on the role of protectors in her life. She was appreciative but had a feeling it might get suffocating. Between those two and Nash, she felt even stronger desires to prove herself capable of independence and her own safety.

Nash pursed his lips. "Okay, okay. I get it. I'm on your team, Ave." He reached out and pulled her off the table, wrapping her in a hug. "Just be careful, okay?"

Avery nodded as she pulled away. "I will be careful. I promise." She stretched out her arms and bounced on her feet a few times. "Now, I'm still feeling a bit hungover but wanna try and attack me? I'll show you what I've learned."

From up above on the deck, Steve, Bucky, Suzanne and Lou were watching as Avery and Nash spoke on the lawn. Steve was actively trying not to listen as it wasn't his place but some phrases and words were easy to pick up. If he could hear it, Bucky likely could, too, though he was wrapped up in a conversation with Suzanne.

"Hey!" Lou leaned over the deck as he watched Nash pull Avery into a headlock. "Cut that out."

"She was bragging about her self defense lessons," Nash argued for himself, gently pulling Avery down to the ground. "You've got some work to do, Bucky."

Avery pushed on her brother's chest and tried to wiggle away. Her voice was muffled by his arms. "I have regrets."

"Good lord," Lou muttered out, turning and slapping his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "God bless you for dealing with her."

Bucky smirked and moved to the edge of the deck, watching as Avery gave up and laid on her back, conceding to her brother. "I guess we're starting up the lessons again, doll."

Soon enough, everyone seemed to be gathering to depart from the driveway. Luke and Sienna pulled away first, then Sam and Kasey.

Avery hugged her dad more than once, confirming he'd be in the city in a few weeks and that they'd arrange dinner. She surprised even herself by giving Suzanne a hug too, expressing her gratitude to her for looking after their dad.

She'd see everyone else soon enough, either for Lora's bachelorette party or in just over a month at the wedding. It still felt bittersweet - having looked forward to the weekend for so long, what was next? As she climbed into the backseat after Bucky and Steve said their own goodbyes, handshakes and hugs going around, she sunk into the seat. Next? Just the beginning of everything.

* * *

Avery did doze off in the backseat for a while as they started their drive back to Brooklyn. She bundled herself in a sweatshirt and curled up against the window, sleeping off her remaining nausea. She only woke when the car slowed down and Bucky's hand was reaching back to squeeze her knee.

"Doll," Bucky smirked at her as she stretched out her arms, glancing out the window. "You hungry?"

They were pulled off at a small rest stop and gas station beside a mountain lookout. The boys figured a late lunch was in order and the taco truck in the parking lot seemed like a good option. And Avery was finally feeling like she could stomach something to eat.

They ordered tacos and quesadillas and tostadas, taking over a picnic table with a green mountain view. It was quiet and calm. When they got back to the car, Avery stole the passenger seat while Steve drove.

"So." Avery took a deep breath, dropping her oversized cup of soda into the cup holder and turning towards Steve. She tilted her head to get Bucky's attention in the backseat. "I guess now is as good a time as any." She pulled one of her legs up, hugging her knee towards her chest.

Steve's eyes flicked to the rear view mirror and he smiled at Bucky. Avery could hear Bucky laughing in the backseat.

She took a deep breath. "I have no idea how this is going to work. Short of Googling 'how to date two people' this is completely new territory to me. I guess what I'm trying to find the words to say here is I want this to be.. all of us. Not like two or three separate pairings. Does that make sense? Not that I don't enjoy spending time with you separately. Or that you two can't spend time together without me. But when it's the three of us it just feels so right and I don't know. I've just never felt like this before and the idea of explaining this to anyone else but you two is so intimidating and -

"Ave?" Bucky tried to cut her off.

"Not to mention how this will work in the bedroom. I mean, I've had sex with you both now and those experiences were awesome in their own ways. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I don't think _awesome_ is an appropriate descriptor. But what about all three of us? Because I'm thinking if it can be that good with _two_ , maybe with three…" She shook her head and shrugged. "I've never had a threesome before and I would never encourage something you both didn't want to -

"Sweetheart." It was Steve trying to jump in this time.

"Do we tell people we're all dating? Oh my god, does Sam know? Allie definitely figured it out. And if she tells Lora and Lora tells my dad.. not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed of either of you or _this_ but I think it's hard to explain and people may not understand. Is that selfish? I like this happy little bubble we're in and I don't want to lose it." She finally stopped, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Sorry, I just.. have a lot of thoughts." She tangled her hands together and glanced at Bucky then to Steve again. They both had coy smiles on their face.

She sighed and leaned back into the passenger seat. "Oh my god, can one of you please contribute."

Steve nodded. "Ave, you brought up a lot of important things -

Bucky piped in. "A lot -

"But keep in mind Buck and I haven't done this before either. I haven't even dated since Sharon and well, he hasn't had a girlfriend this century until we met you."

Bucky nudged his foot into the seat. "Hey."

"Oh, stop." Steve laughed. He paused and adjusted his hands on the wheel. "Now, I'm not saying we should go shout it from the rooftops to everyone but .. one step at a time. I also think what you said was exactly what _I'm_ feeling: this is about all three of us."

She scrunched her face together for a moment. "I'm just worried there's going to be.. a strange imbalance."

Bucky's eyes flicked to the mirror again and met Steve's. "What do you mean, doll?"

"That! That's what I mean. Sometimes you two talk without saying anything and it mainly doesn't bother me but it also makes me feel like I'm on the outside. Like, of course, you're allowed to have things just between the two of you. I don't want to be selfish here. But what happens when.. okay. Bucky, say you're on a mission and Steve takes me out on a date. Would that bother you?"

"Course not." Bucky leaned forward on the backseat and looked between them. "I'd feel better knowing you have each other while I'm gone. I mean, I'd be jealous I don't get to be there, too."

Avery smiled softly. "Okay. Now what if you weren't away on a mission? What if we're all in the city and Steve wanted to take me to dinner or you two just want to.." She paused, face falling. Her breath picked up as she turned away from them both.

"Avery," Bucky reached his hand between the seats and held onto her shoulder. "The last thing we want is you to get worked up over the logistics of this. I don't want it to be this complicated."

She sucked in a sharp breath, looking straight ahead at the road. "You two have known each other for a lifetime. You've only known me for a few months. I guess I just want to be clear that if you ever want to spend time alone, _without me,_ that it's okay. I don't want this to ever be two on one."

Steve let out a long exhale and glanced over at her for a moment. "I think if we all go into this the same way.. as a team, we'll be able to figure all of this out. And listen, even if I've known Bucky since the 30s, it doesn't mean the relationship we have with you has less value. It's not about longevity or seniority."

"So maybe sometimes you won't wanna join me and Stevie at the Bijou. Or he'll take you out for dinner without me. Or you an' me will watch some dumb TV show Stevie doesn't like. I dunno. I'm not an expert but I don't think that makes _this_ -" Bucky motioned between the three of them. "It doesn't make it any less important." He smiled to himself. "Or special. This is special."

Half a smirk appeared on Steve's face as he looked in the mirror at Bucky again. "And you think I'm the sap.." Bucky reached up and nudged his shoulder. "We're a team."

Avery let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding and nodded. She smiled and nudged his arm. "Okay, Cap."

There was a short moment of silence before Bucky spoke up again. "Now, can we talk about the - _how did you describe it, doll?_ \- awesome sex Avery has been having?"

Avery rolled her eyes and shifted to turn and look at him. "Bucky."

"Isn't this the next important discussion?"

She narrowed her eyes and he raised an eyebrow. A playful challenge.

"Fine. I'm only having this conversation if you two are completely honest with me right now."

"Honest about what?" Steve asked.

She crossed her arms and broke her eye contact with Bucky, sitting forward again. "I want to know if you were both.. _blessed_ by God or if the serum helped you out. Below the waist."

Steve let out an uncomfortable cough and he knew he was blushing.

Bucky smirked. "Blessed by the good Lord, doll."

Steve laughed. "Oh, bullshit."

Avery's head snapped to the left and she looked at Steve. He wasn't one for curse words very often.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "What was that, punk?"

Steve shook his head and looked to Avery for a brief moment. "You saw the photos of me before the serum. _All of me_ got about 40% bigger after the fact. That's the truth." Steve paused and looked in the rear view mirror again. "Buck and I were pretty close growing up so I will argue that some of _him_ was a bonus.."

"Couldn't just let me have this, huh, Stevie?"

Avery just laughed at their banter, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Well, have either of you had a threesome before? Because that is uncharted territory for me but may be worth exploring?"

Steve laughed and shook his head. "This is really not the road trip conversation I anticipated." He paused. "I have not."

She turned and looked at Bucky over her shoulder.

"Not in a long time," he answered with a shrug. "Stevie, help me out here. I remember the cute blonde from the diner on Avenue J.." He paused. "I think she was blonde. She had a red headed friend. They were _very_ friendly." He smiled to himself again.

"Wow, did not ask who the threesome was with." Avery replied with a skeptical glance.

"What can I say, doll? Bucky in his dress uniform was quite the ladies man."

Avery rolled her eyes. "Too bad Bucky from this century lost his touch."

Steve choked on a laugh again. "He won _you_ over somehow."

"I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing," Avery vaulted back at Steve, with a dramatic shrug. "Guess I'm stuck here now."

"He grows on you. Like a lost puppy."

"I don't think I like the two of you ganging up on me like this," Bucky leaned into the backseat again, arms crossed. "I thought we were a team."

* * *

Steve felt more content than he had in months. While he would admit he found Avery's anxiety about their new triple relationship to be a bit irrational, he was sharing a lot of the same fears. It was funny - she was worried about feeling like _she_ was on the outside with him and Bucky but Steve was mirroring those concerns himself.

It was Bucky and Avery who hit it off first. Steve was the outsider when it came to the entire _romantic relationship_ and how could he compare? Even if he had been alongside for most of their relationship anyway, the intimacy was different.

When they finally made it to Brooklyn, Steve followed Avery to her apartment while Bucky headed up to check in his own and grab a shower. Avery was rambling on about dinner, complaining that she needed groceries but would debate on the merits of ordering in pizza instead. Steve deposited her bags inside her bedroom doorway while she immediately started reviewing her plants to see how they survived the weekend.

"Frank, you're flourishing!" Steve smiled as she reviewed the small tree in the corner.

Avery paused before Steve fell onto her couch, perching upwards onto her toes to kiss him. "I forgot your birthday card here! It's on the table." She pulled away with a small smile. "I'm just gonna go see if Bea is home." She pointed towards the envelope sitting beside her laptop then skirted towards the door.

Steve smiled as he watched her leave. She was certainly bouncing back from her hangover well enough. He changed his path from the couch to her kitchen table, picking up the blue envelope. Upon opening it, he found a card that was likely designed for children with a leaping photograph of Captain America on the front. The top of the card read _Happy 10th Birthday_ but Avery had squished in a six after the zero.

"Of course," he said to himself quietly, grinning. Inside there was a cute scrawled message from Avery, decorated with hearts and hand drawn smiles. Three pieces of paper fell out next - a set of tickets to an upcoming summer baseball game at Yankee Stadium, against the Red Sox. The sticky note on top of them read 'Date Night?'

His cheeks went a rosy pink. She must have written that before their weekend away but predicted a date night between the three of them anyway. He tucked the tickets back into the card and left the envelope on the table. Before he turned to go sit on the couch, he noticed the stack of file folders sitting on the other side of her laptop.

Steve wasn't sure what pulled him to look closer at them but some part of his mind encouraged his gaze to narrow onto the sticky note on top of the folder. He walked around the table and turned the folder to read it more clearly. There was a small list:

> _who is Karl Malus?_
> 
> _CDC or FDA approved?_
> 
> _Synthetic vs natural? Tasmania?_

That all seemed unusually familiar. Tasmania.. That was where their mystery _non-metal_ metal sleytium originated. Did he know the name Karl Malus? He started to open the folder when he heard Avery at the door again. She came inside with a smile, holding a plate of _something._

"Bea made banana bread," Avery explained, placing the plate down on her island. "No chocolate chips though so is it even worth it?" She shrugged and broke off a piece of the baking and met Steve's eyes. She looked to where he was standing beside the table.

Steve ignored the folders and reached for the card again, meeting her at the island. "Thank you for this." He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I wanted to go to a game this summer. Now I'll even get to watch the Red Sox lose, it's a perfect gift."

Avery just smirked. "You wish, punk." She chewed on another piece of banana bread then let out a breath. "Bea said some maintenance guy was trying to get into my apartment this weekend. That's weird right? I mean, I've been reporting issues with my shower for months but for them to follow up on a holiday weekend is strange.." Avery trailed off, crossing her arms and glancing around her apartment.

Steve's shoulders went stiff as he listened to her. "She didn't let him in though?"

"No, she was on her way out and found it odd. He didn't leave a name but she said he was wearing a maintenance jumpsuit so it must have been legitimate." Avery tipped her head back and sighed. "It would be nice to have normal water pressure in the shower again."

Steve just nodded along with her, eyes scanning the room. While he had a handful of questions about the folders on her table, now his brain was buzzing with even more concern. It _was_ possible someone had just come by to try and fix her shower but Steve knew well enough that crew members usually didn't show up without warning or permission from the apartment dweller.

Avery closed in the space between them and rested against Steve's chest. "So what do you think? Should I go get groceries or order us pizza? You know the answer I want to hear."

Steve wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his hands up and down her back. If she was just going to brush this off, he needed to dismiss his feelings for a moment too. He didn't want her to worry. "Pizza sounds great, sweetheart."

* * *

Bucky dropped down onto the chair across from Steve's desk, giving a nod to Clint who was occupying the other chair. The archer was visiting the compound to help with some training scenarios for a batch of new agents. Bucky crossed his legs and leaned back, smoothing his hands across his tac pants.

Steve had spent most of his Monday morning playing catch up after the long weekend but was feeling out of sorts.

Last night, Steve, Bucky and Avery had pizza and watched a movie upstairs at Bucky's. It felt like the perfect end to their weekend together, a helpful transition for their safe bubble as they returned to their life in the city. Avery laid against Bucky as he leaned into Steve. Their safe haven moved from the cabin to Bucky's living room and they all felt at ease.

But Steve's mind kept circling back to those folders and notes on Avery's table. He tried to keep it at bay, but the moment the credits of the movie were playing, he was quick to stand and head towards the door. It's not like he could just stay and crash, anyway. He had his own apartment and life was still waiting for him there. But crossing over the threshold of Bucky's door, after another kiss goodbye from Avery, Steve was feeling a bit lost and confused. He tried to hide it, at least from Avery.

He just needed time to think and try to sort through if any of this was connected.

"So, how was your birthday weekend, grandpa?" Clint smirked at Steve, stretching his arms out past the chair. He was already wearing his old tactical gear. "I heard you two and Sammy went upstate."

Steve returned a small smirk, shifting to roll up the sleeves of his button up. "It was relaxing." His eyes darted over to Bucky. "Are you two ready for today?"

The Avengers initiative was still doing recruitment to build their ground team and the latest batch of new team members were going to be training for the week before any real mission work may start. The ground team would be responsible for small tactical jobs or research and projects based out of the Manhattan office. Both Bucky and Clint were taking the lead on running drills and tests in the training facility throughout the week.

Clint took the lead and explained their schedule to Steve, adjusting as he suggested. Bucky remained quiet, watching Steve carefully.

Bucky leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked across the desk. As their conversation trailed off, he couldn't stop himself from speaking up. "So, what happened to you last night?"

"Buck." Steve let out a long breath, scrubbing a hand over his jaw.

"What? You left so quickly. I know something is wrong so don't make me go get my boxing gloves again." Bucky sighed. "Dunno. Avery thought she did something wrong but I think I managed to talk her down."

Clint watched as the two of them talked. "Wait. Who's Avery?"

Bucky held his breath for a second, as if to ask Steve how they should handle this. Bucky had gotten ahead of himself approaching Steve about the topic in front of Clint. Maybe it should have stayed between them.

Steve's eyes were honest as he looked at Bucky. What was it that he had said about not shouting from the rooftops about their relationship? He couldn't fault Bucky for speaking so freely, especially with the concern in his voice. Steve knew well enough Bucky's filter tended to disappear when his emotions were involved. Clint was part of their inner circle, anyway. In enough time, the entire team would likely know about their relationship with Avery.

"Uh. Avery is my.. _our_ girlfriend." Bucky nodded confidently as he spoke. His stress seemed to pause for a brief moment at the use of the phrase _our girlfriend_.

She was _theirs._ The thought made his heart thump faster.

Clint let out a quiet laugh, leaning forward in his chair to look between them both. " _Our?_ " He met Steve's hard gaze. "Wow. Okay. I mean, kudos to finding someone willing to put up with you both." A smirk grew on his face. "I can meet you downstairs if you two need to talk about _your_ girlfriend privately."

Steve held up his hand to stop him from standing. "No, actually.. maybe an outside opinion could help."

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Steve. "What?"

Steve sighed. "I saw something in Avery's apartment and.." Steve paused then started at the beginning, giving Clint a summarized version of Avery's possible connection to their Osborn research. Her place of employment, the break in at her apartment, S.H.O.T, her close work with Will Simon, the bullet points on the sticky note he saw the day before. At the end of it all, there just seemed to be a lot of gaps in information and they were lacking the answers they needed.

"Last week, she had been going through some stuff on her laptop. She said it was just research for work. My brain wasn't really in the best place so I didn't ask her any questions about it.." Bucky stretched out his hands on the arms of the chair, anxious.

Clint nodded along, bringing his hand up to massage his neck. "Listen, I'm going to be unbiased here for a second."

Steve leaned back in his chair. "Okay."

"Now, keep that metal arm where I can see it," Clint shifted to look between them both, giving Bucky a warning glance. "How long have you known this girl?"

"A few months," Bucky replied quietly with a nod.

"You're doing research about this weird compound that keeps popping up, connected to illegal weapons - she's potentially got notes about it, too. She's also got a close working relationship with the guy who does business with the _evil_ guys." Clint paused. " _Assumed_ evil guys. You see one dumb acronym and you can only come to one conclusion, anyway.."

Bucky clenched his jaw. "What are you trying to say, Barton?"

"All I'm saying is until you figure out how she's really involved.. maybe the blind trust you've developed is based on this new relationship but there's more going on beyond it."

Steve looked taken aback. "You think she's involved? In all of this?"

Clint shrugged. "Maybe not by choice but we've all been blindsided by mistrust before."

Bucky gripped the arms of the chair tensely. "No, fuck that. I don't think so." He pushed himself up and walked away from the desk. "Bullshit."

"Bucky," Steve was steady in his response. "He's not saying -

"I'm just giving you another perspective. I don't know the chick." Clint raised his hands up innocently. "Just consider all the options. I'm gonna go get ready downstairs." Clint paused as he stood, watching between the two soldiers then he sighed as he left.

Bucky was grumbling to himself on the other side of the room. Clint was an idiot. His opinion was idiotic. The more and more Bucky went over the situation, the more frustrated he grew.

"Stevie, there is no way -

"Buck, I know."

"We just spent the entire weekend with her family. It's Avery. We know her." He shook his head. "Whatever is going on here, she's innocent in it. Hell, she likely has no clue about anything we're doing overlapping with something she might be connected to."

"I agree. I just think we need to -

Bucky let out a loud groan. His mind was racing faster than he could control but Avery's sweet smile kept flashing in front of his eyes. "Augh. Stevie. I did something stupid." Bucky shook his head again and came back towards the desk. He pulled out his phone and tapped a few icons on the screen.

"What are you showing me?" Steve's eyes narrowed on the screen. "Wait is that a -

Bucky scrunched up his face. "I put a tracker on Avery's phone."

Steve groaned quietly. "Buck."

"You remember that day I was telling you she came home from a work thing all agitated? She said it was nothing but.. I don't know, it didn't sit well with me. So I figured, as a precaution.." Bucky sighed and looked down at the beacon on the screen. "Just in case something happened. I just grabbed her phone one night when she was asleep and.."

Steve pursed his lips together again and fell back into his chair. The last ten minutes had been a lot to take in. "She's going to be pissed when she finds out about that."

Bucky sat again, too. "It's not much different from those little programs phones have to see where your friends are or whatever."

"Except you opt into those knowingly. If you weren't dating her and you had a tracker on her phone, you'd be a stalker, Buck. Even if it's a safety precaution - she deserves to know."

Bucky mumbled to himself. "I guess you're right." He sighed. "This whole thing just feels messy, Steve. If something happens to her -

"You're getting ahead of yourself. She's not in any sort of danger just working for this construction company. She said her job is mainly just data entry but those folders make me think she's doing more than that. Until we can get more information, we can't worry her about any of it. Okay?"

Bucky nodded. "Okay."

Steve reached his hand across the desk to grab Bucky's. "Now, go and take all that pent up anxiety out on the new agents. I'm going to do some digging about whoever the hell Karl Malus is."

Bucky paused as he headed to the door. "Maybe text our girlfriend something nice, huh?"

* * *

It was only Monday, one day back at work after her long weekend, and Avery was exhausted. She had slept poorly - brain running wild about Steve suddenly leaving after their movie. Bucky tried to calm her down and it _helped_ but all her silly doubts had rushed in as she tried to sleep.

She had been looking forward to a slow desk day to play catch up, but barely an hour into her morning, Will came and collected her for a new task. He spouted off about getting her preliminary project management training and suddenly she was handed off to one of their head contractors to learn about supervising concrete pours at job sites.

She didn't even have the chance to protest. Admittedly, her day had gone by quickly but the more her job grew, the less interested she felt. She didn't give a damn about proper vibrations and environmental standards for concrete. Yet there she stood all afternoon, taking notes on the proper procedures and reporting for materials testing after the wet stone mixture was setting.

Avery supposed she should be _grateful_ for the learning experience and opportunity to grow in her job but she didn't ask for it. She preferred having a say. When she finally got back to the office, she demanded some time from Will to cover all the info about his mysterious file folders. He didn't have much to say as he listened to her, but was profusely thanking her for the details.

"Can you do this for me one more time?" Will sighed and reached into his desk drawer. He handed her a small drive with an Oscorp logo on it. "I think these files are less restricted but I just need a reference for all the science-y terms. Like, consider me an idiot here, Avery. I just called them _science-y terms._ "

She was uncertain about his ask.

"Will," Avery pursed her lips together as she looked at the thumb drive in his hand. "I don't know."

"It's just lab data. Please, Avery. Me and my dad have invested a lot more money than we thought in this.. project. And I need to understand it if I want a seat at the table. You're doing me a huge favour. All this stuff so far has been such a help.."

"You know, a lot of clinical trials are unclassified or not approved by the CDC or FDA. That's not uncommon. But some of that stuff seemed a bit.. ethically vague." She folded her hands in her lap.

Will leaned forward in his chair, brows furrowed. "How so?"

"Well, animal testing is horrible so I suppose if the humans they're testing on are consenting, it's understandable. But if they're early on in their trials, no one knows the real long term side effects of what they're producing. I would just tread carefully. Chemical experiments are delicate."

And dangerous.

"See, this is why I need your brain." Will extended his hand again, practically shoving the drive in her face. "Please."

Avery reached out and let him drop it into her palm.

"I'm out of town the rest of the week so let's talk early next, okay?" Will's eyes flicked back to his computer for a moment then to Avery again. He smiled, big. "Oh. And.." He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a small envelope. "Between you and me."

When Avery let him hand over the envelope of cash, she felt her stomach twist.

As she walked back to her desk, specks of concrete falling off her boots, she tried to ease her mind.

It was just reading some files. Will was paying her in kind. This was just like.. _freelance science research._ It wasn't all that strange, right?

She forgot all about the money and thumb drive when her cousin called on her subway ride home. Kasey was still in the city apartment hunting and her AirBnB had cancelled. Avery teased her for just a few minutes about sleeping at Sam's then confirmed that, yes, Kasey could crash on her couch.

It was a nice distraction after her last 24 hours at least. Steve had texted her earlier too, apologizing for his quick exit the night before, followed by a series of sugary sweet messages and the promise of a date night later in the week. It made her feel a lot better and pushed her doubts aside. They were all just adjusting to real life again.

It wasn't long before she was sitting on her living room floor, shorts on, hair in a bun, one leg pulled up towards her as she brushed nail polish on her toes. Kasey was sitting cross legged on the couch across from her, dressed just as casually, going on and on about the different apartment units she had checked out and her plan to move in August. In between them was a tray of snack food and the screen across from them was playing some movie they weren't paying attention to. It was nice to just catch up after their weekend.

"So, you and Sam?" Avery paused and rested her chin on her propped up knee, eyes wide as she stared at her cousin.

"I'm only talking about Sam if you're gonna talk about _your_ boyfriend," Kasey countered, pushing her red locks back and leaning forward. "Sorry.. _boyfriends._ "

Avery's jaw dropped open at her cousin's bold response. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kasey laughed and leaned back again. "Oh, come on, Ave. I'm not blind. I mean, Sam does not agree with my theory but after this weekend.. you're all dating now, aren't you? I'm not judging. I would just love the juicy details."

Avery pursed her lips together and she knew her cheeks with red.

"Oh my god. I sort of thought you might have had sex in the cabin.." Kasey bounced on the couch, sitting on her knees. "Did you and Steve have sex in the cabin?!"

"Kasey!" Avery just laughed hard. "I am.. not confirming or denying that."

"After the Charlie thing you were gone for a little bit so.." Kasey nodded to herself, like she had solved a mystery. "Wow. Good for you, Ave."

"Thank you?"

"So how does this work with all three of you?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I guess we're just figuring it out as we go along." Avery shook her head. "Now, your turn. Why aren't you staying with Sam tonight?"

Kasey sighed dramatically. "He offered but it's too much too soon. I like the chase, you know?" She paused, tracing an anxious circle over her knees. "Sam is really nice. And smooth. And hot? I'm not used to it. If I don't go slow, I'm bound to talk myself out of it."

"I get it," Avery replied. "If it helps at all, he's in and out of town a lot so.. you're bound to have time apart if you start to date."

"Then we just find a third to cover the gap while he's gone? Is that how it works?" Kasey laughed as she dodged the pillow Avery was sending her way.

Avery was so grateful to just laugh with a girlfriend. She was over the moon excited that Kasey was moving to the city just to have girl time again. Heidi was great but sometimes working together meant all they did outside of work was bitch about, well, work. Avery had missed the opportunities to just gossip. She hadn't done such a thing since she was dating Seth and used Crystal as a sounding board.

She missed her old friend but at times like this, it was nice to have someone else to fill that void.

They carried on, laughing and discussing Kasey's housing options. Avery didn't even realize she had a series of missed messages from Bucky that he was heading home with dinner and wanted to talk about something. She was pleasantly surprised when she heard her door unlocking and he entered carrying a bag of takeout containers.

"Hey Buck!" Avery pulled herself up off the couch, tearing her eyes away from Kasey's laptop that was sitting across from them and looked at her phone screen. "Kasey's crashing here tonight."

Bucky returned a wave to Kasey on the couch. Avery met him near her kitchen island and leaned up to greet him with a kiss. "Sorry I missed all your texts."

"S'okay doll," Bucky replied with a smile. "Just wanted to make sure you had dinner since you clearly skipped grocery shopping again."

"If by dinner you mean a variety of stale snacks we found in her cupboards, then yes," Kasey jumped in.

"There's plenty of food here," Bucky said, unpacking the boxes in front of him. He waved for Kasey to come over.

Avery pulled him aside and kissed him again. "Thank you for thinking of me." Bucky wrapped her into his arms and kissed her head. "What did you want to talk about?"

Bucky shook his head. Clearly now wasn't the time to unload a ton of heavy questions about her job and boss and the curious circumstances of their Oscorp research. He was feeling more level-headed about it, especially after exhausting himself with the training group all day.

It probably wasn't the time to admit he had secretly installed tracking software on her phone, either. That was an argument he was trying to prepare for.

Part of him just wanted to get home and see Avery, hold her in his arms even if just for a moment. He couldn't stop running all the _worst case scenarios_ of his mind. But now, looking down at her and her cheeky smile, he felt better. Everything else could wait.

"Doesn't really matter now," Bucky replied softly, squeezing her close once more.

"What's Steve doing tonight?"

Kasey coughed as she dropped down to sit at the table. "Yeah, where is the other boyfriend?"

Bucky narrowed his eyes for a moment, looking from Avery to Kasey.

"Yeah, she knows," Avery said sheepishly.

Bucky just nodded with a smirk, pressing his hand on Avery's lower back as he directed her back towards the food. "Well, he's still out at the compound. Probably going for a drink with Barton after."

Avery just nodded. It almost felt weird to just be spending time with Bucky. Not that she didn't enjoy his company but after so much time with both of them, Steve's absence was evident. Bucky squeezed her hip gently, as if agreeing with her racing thoughts.

"So, how was work?" Bucky asked as they joined Kasey at the table.

"Auuugh," Avery groaned and pointed his fork at him. "You're looking at a Project Manager in training or something. I don't know. I spent all day learning about concrete for some reason." Avery rambled on about her day and Bucky nodded along, listening intently.

His biggest takeaway as she talked was the lack of passion in her voice. Maybe it had just been a long day but her lack of interest in all of it was telling. Regardless of how this situation was turning out with S.H.O.T, he had to remind himself there as a conversation to be had here on what Avery could do next. His mind kept flipping back to what Lou had mentioned to him about how Avery got into medical school. What had changed for her that she wasn't fighting for anything beyond her desk job? Time and time again she would make comments about feeling lost and angry after she unvanished but when was the right time to start that discussion?

Definitely not when her cousin was there, too. Bucky figured maybe he needed to have Steve on board and ready to support her, too.

Bucky eventually started to head upstairs and Avery walked him to his door.

"We've come full circle if I'm walking you home now, huh," she said playfully, hands clutching onto Bucky's waist as they stood in his doorway.

He brought both his hands up and he cradled her face for a moment, then leaned in to press a heavy kiss against her lips. She gave in immediately, moaning quietly as he caught her lower lip between his teeth. She pulled herself closer, meeting his hips with hers.

Bucky kept his hands on her cheeks, looking downwards at her as he pulled away.

Avery met his eyes - there was something off. She wasn't sure what exactly, some hint of sadness seemed to be fighting through the steely blue fog. "Bucky, is everything okay?" She chewed on her lip. "Did I do something wrong here?"

He shook his head, lips turning up into a small smile to try and dismiss her concerns. "No, no. Just.. lots on my mind with the training this week. Don't worry, doll."

Avery let out a sharp exhale. She didn't believe him. But, if he didn't want to tell her, she didn't think she should press.

"I can stay here tonight," Avery continued. "Kasey definitely wouldn't mind."

"No, that's okay. I know you're enjoying your _girl_ time." Bucky brushed his thumb against her cheek and pulled his hands down. "Tomorrow night though: me an' you an' Stevie. I'll cook."

Avery released her hands from his waist and wrapped at them around his back.

Bucky held her tight, as if she might disappear right in front of him. The weekend at the lake had really been a dream for their new trio - it was safe, free of any unknown variables. They didn't need to worry about questionable places of employment or _evil_ corporations. Now, one day back and all Bucky could think about was the steps he could be taking to ensure he could protect the people he loved: Steve and Avery.

It was love, he was sure of it. The warm bursts of energy that kept trying to escape from his chest, from his _heart_. Why was that such a frightening concept?

"Okay. You cook, Stevie will clean, I'll provide commentary." She tilted her head up. "We never really finished that threesome conversation anyway, did we?"

Bucky just laughed and rocked her into the hug, pressing kisses against the top of her head. "G'night, doll." He stopped himself before his tongue slipped out exactly what he wanted to say next: _I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hello readers! Sorry for the delay between these last chapters - real life hit me hard (between work and mental health and a friend's wedding, I've been wiped) but I'm happy to be back into a bit of a writing groove. We're moving towards some exciting things for our new trio - it's going to be a whirlwind so buckle up.
> 
> Thank you to each and every one of you out there reading along. This story has become my precious little child and your feedback and support has been so so so appreciated. I know you see this in notes all the time, but writers are always so grateful to the audience.
> 
> Next up: there will be a date night. And there will be some unexpected danger leading to.. unexpected tensions. But hey, when your boyfriends mean well...


	20. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: references to sex (but no full smut), references to gun violence, anxiety attacks.
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by Chris Evans' DUMB, CHARISMATIC, CUTE-ASS SMILE.

Avery couldn't believe her nerves. She was laying flat on her bed, her right leg shaking helplessly.

It was just dinner with Bucky and Steve. She had eaten dinner with them before. What was so intimidating about all this now? Her stomach had been flip flopping all day. Even Beatrice picked up on it when they had their weekly _Price is Right_ watch that morning. Her advice had been to just 'let go and let loose' which made Avery double over with laughter and put her at ease just a bit.

She intended to spend her afternoon doing that research for Will - she had put it off all week due to an uneasiness in her stomach - but had conceded that she just wouldn't do it at all. Monday morning she would go to his office and return the cash and storage drive. She couldn't bear to do any of it anymore. In fact, she was hoping this could be the first step in ending her job altogether. This just couldn't be it for her. She didn't want to learn about construction and concrete and project management.

She wasn't sure _what_ she wanted.

She sat up in her bed, finally, sighing and pushing everything back in her mind.

Steve was taking the lead on their evening ahead, only telling her to dress nice. It was hardly implied that meant more than just a sweater and leggings. She knew they were going for dinner but he said the rest of the details didn't matter. She disagreed.

Avery: _Steve do I wear a ball gown or a little summer dress  
_Avery: _are we walking  
_Avery: _should I wear heels  
_Steve: _do you even own a ball gown?  
_Steve: _wear whatever feels comfortable :)  
_Bucky: _if my opinion counts, i like that little floral strapless frock  
_Bucky: _or you could even send us photos of a few options  
_Steve: _oh that is a good idea.  
_Bucky: _photos of what you're wearing underneath too maybe?  
_Steve: _oh that is a great idea.  
_Avery: _are you two sitting beside each other  
_Bucky: _no  
_Bucky: _I'm on the other side of the room  
_Avery: _this group chat was a bad idea_

Avery pushed open the windows in her living room and bedroom, welcoming in the warm summer air. Traffic noises and voices from the streets streamed through her space, enveloping her in the beautiful promise of the season - somehow warm and inviting. After a shower, the type where she was more than thorough ensuring she exfoliated and moisturized and primped, she allowed herself a moment to relax.

A bouncy playlist flowed out of her speaker and she trawled through her closet, contemplating what constituted as 'dressing nice.' She decided on a simple long sleeved black wrap dress that fell just above her knees. She tied the bow delicately on her left hip, crossing over the layers of fabric, revealing just enough of her chest in the open v-neck space left. It was light and airy enough for summer and paired with some strappy heels, she'd feel dressy enough to impress her boys.

_Her boys._

Avery smiled to herself in the mirror as she finished dealing with her hair, using her fingers to comb out the hard curls left behind. The idea of dating them both, going on a date with Bucky and Steve, was exciting but they hadn't even showed up yet and her mind was racing.

Who did she sit beside at the restaurant? What if she ran into someone she knew? Did she introduce them as her boyfriends? Was that.. appropriate? Who paid for dinner?

As if on cue, her phone buzzed.

Bucky: _see you soon doll :)  
_Bucky: _Steve says to stop stressin_

Her lips curled into a soft smile.

Just after six, as Avery was pacing small circles in her kitchen, she finally heard voices in the hallway. She could hear Steve laughing, mostly, then a few quieter exchanges between him and Bucky. She waited patiently for a few moments then finally swung the door open.

Steve was dressed in a pair of pressed jeans and a light blue button up with a navy suit jacket. A smile lined his face as he met Avery's eyes. His beard was coming back in slowly but surely and she had a sudden urge to reach out and scratch along his jaw.

"Avery, doll," Bucky was slow to speak, turning her attention to him as he stood beside Steve. He had on black slacks and a charcoal button up, still fidgeting with the top button as he took her in. "Wow." His hand moved to brush through his hair. Avery noticed he had gotten a haircut - his fluffy locks had been trimmed down to a more manageable length though she was happy to see he had also left his facial hair untouched.

She knew she was blushing as they looked her up and down.

Steve smirked as she nervously looked away. "Now, why do you always hide under those big sweaters?" His eyes travelled down her bare legs.

"Comfort over style, Rogers," she joked. She noticed then Bucky was carrying a bundle of flowers. "For me?"

Bucky smirked and extended the wrapped package to her. "For you."

Avery's face lit up as they followed her in, laying out the bouquet on the island. She carefully tore at the wrapping and gasped quietly as she looked over the florals. Peonies. Beautiful, blooming white and pink peonies.

"Oh my god," she leaned down to take in a quick inhale of the fresh flowers and looked up to them both with a wide smile. "Did you pick these up at that place a few blocks away? Because I stopped by there yesterday and they said their shipment was delayed." She couldn't contain her appreciation enough, nearly squealing with excitement as she removed the flowers and prepared them for a vase.

"I may have called ahead -

Bucky cut Steve off, nudging him in the arm. "He called _four_ days ago to make sure they'd secure him these peonies."

Avery's face softened as she looked at Steve, who was blushing as Bucky teased him.

Steve nudged Bucky right back and shrugged. "Well, you only get one first date. Thought I'd do it right."

"Well, thank you," Avery replied, casting one last glance at the overflowing arrangement as she walked towards Steve. She snuck her arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss him. "Your attention to detail is appreciated."

Before Bucky could even protest, Avery pulled away from Steve and repeated her actions, running a hand through Bucky's hair as she pulled away from their kiss. "You both look especially sharp tonight. I'm very lucky."

"Trust me doll, we're the lucky ones," Bucky responded, moving his hands to her waist to pull her in for another kiss.

"Okay, okay," Steve laughed and motioned towards the door. "We have a reservation to get to."

Avery pushed away from Bucky, whose hands had meandered down to her lower back, laughing along with Steve. "Plenty of time to smother me with your affection later. Now," she paused and looked towards Steve. "Sandals or heels?"

Her footwear didn't make much of a difference, considering when they got down to the parking lot, Steve was leading them to some fancy looking sleek black car instead of his Jeep.

Between their dressy clothes, personal grooming choices and watching Steve drive a stick-shift, Avery had to stop herself from salivating. Tuesday night, earlier that week, Bucky had cooked them dinner and their night together at his place had been so comfortable and real. Aside from greeting each of them with a kiss and lounging on the couch, nothing else physical had happened between all three of them. And no one seemed ready to bring up the topic.

Avery was starting to feel a bit.. pent up, though.

She repressed her feelings as much as she could as they approached the restaurant. As Steve left the car with the valet (Avery hadn't been to a restaurant worthy of a valet in a long time, since well before the snap) and relished the feeling of Bucky's hand at the small of her back as he led her towards the door.

She appreciated those small touches more than she could express. It reminded her this was real, this was happening. It was comfort and protection, an ever present touch to ground her in their presence. They were at a small restaurant in Soho, although as the hostess lead them towards the patio in the back, Avery was starting to doubt she was even in New York anymore.

The patio felt more like a whimsical garden - with music coming from _somewhere,_ adding to the gentle ambiance of the twinkling lights and lanterns above them. They tucked into a small table in the corner, nearly hidden away thanks to the overgrown vines crawling up the back trellis. It was warm and romantic. Avery slid into the small bench side, leaning on the padded back rest as Bucky slid in beside her. Steve sat across from them and she quickly realized that no matter where they sat, this was the best of both worlds.

Bucky's warm thigh beside her, Steve's warm gaze ahead.

"This place is lovely, Steve," Avery said with a smile, resting her purse on the bench beside her.

"Well, Pepper recommended it. Actually, I think she might technically own this place. She wasn't certain but she lamented it wasn't unusual for Tony to acquire restaurants over the years." Steve smirked at the thought of his old friend.

"You know what I've noticed," Avery tore her eyes away from Steve and grabbed Bucky's arm. "Steve does this thing when he smiles. Like, he tries to -

"Like he tries to swallow it?" Bucky finished her thought, looking from her over to Steve.

"Yeah, that's exactly it. It's adorable." Avery tilted her head and looked back to Steve again.

"Can't argue with that. He hates it though. Gets all embarrassed which just -

"Makes him smile even more," Avery laughed, reaching across the table to squeeze Steve's hand. "May as well just stop trying to fight it."

Steve finally rolled his eyes, running his thumb across the back of Avery's hand. "What am I getting myself into here?"

Dinner was perfectly pleasant. The boys let Avery pick a bottle of wine and humoured her enough to each enjoy a glass of it. They ordered a few pasta dishes for the table - Bucky promptly requested a second order of the gnocchi, having some sort of flashback to his childhood because of the taste - and decided the best way to choose dessert was to order a slide of each cheesecake on the menu.

More important than the food, they laughed and laughed and laughed. Avery felt so light when she was with them both and it made her early worries seem so trivial.

As they finished off their desserts, Avery tipped the last of the wine into her glass. Her cheeks with flush, from the company and the alcohol surely. Bucky leaned back on the bench, extending his left arm out to stretch while his right hand found a place to rest on Avery's knee. A waitress brought a cup of tea for Steve.

"Ave," Bucky squeezed her knee, pulling her attention away from her remaining cake. "Your dad told me something last weekend I wanted to ask about."

"If it's about my teenage rebellion stage when I dyed my hair red and black, I have nothing to say," she said with a laugh. She turned her head to look at Bucky directly. His eyes were bright and curious. "What?"

He raised an eyebrow. "How come you're working at some construction company if you got into medical school?"

A stiff smile appeared on Avery's face. "Lou is such a gossip."

Steve tilted his head. "So it's not true?"

Avery sighed, pausing to lick the remaining caramel sauce off her fork. "I did, in fact, get accepted into Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons." The way she spoke sounded like she was reciting some monotonous church poem. "My grades were, and I quote my advisor, _barely good enough_ to be waitlisted then it was just a few weeks before the snap that I got the letter of offer." She laughed at the memory. "It was a nice dream but do you know how expensive med school is? Especially without a scholarship. Either way, it doesn't matter now."

"Couldn't you reapply?" Steve knew a lot of institutions were trying to help people get back on their feet again.

"Sure. But that implies I want to spend four years in school again then another handful in residency." Avery paused, running a finger along her wine glass. "Truthfully, I'm not sure I ever wanted to actually be a doctor. It was a nice dream." She echoed her previous thoughts.

"Okay. Then what did little Avery Ray want to be when she grew up?" Bucky shifted and gave her a playful smile.

She matched his smirk and shrugged. "I don't know. A forest nymph? I always liked to run through the trees and pretend I controlled all the plants and creatures." She raised her eyebrows at them. "What about little James Barnes and little Steven Rogers?"

Bucky smirked. "Maybe a fireman? Seems so long ago. Didn't do much dreaming when I saw how hard my pops worked to feed his family."

Avery softened at his response. There were times when she forgot about how Bucky and Steve grew up. Lower class, blue collar families in the depression between two wars.

She turned to Steve.

"I suppose I always wanted to be a soldier, like my father. Or an artist. Teach art at school."

Avery smiled. "So a fireman and an artist."

"And a strange woman who lives in the forest?" Bucky finished off her thought. "What a group we'd make."

After they finally finished up their wine and tea and sweets, Bucky, Steve and Avery stood out front as they waited for their car. Steve was texting quickly on his phone, sending a message to Pepper to thank her for the recommendation and preemptively paying for their dinner.

Steve had spoken with her on the phone earlier that week, looking to get some information about the maintenance company connected to the _Square One_ housing complexes. Really, he was trying to narrow down exactly who might have been trying to get into Avery's apartment the weekend they were away.

Even if it was just a normal maintenance call, he wanted to clear up what the actual protocols and procedures were. He would use his growling Captain America voice if required - but he needed to know who and why someone was at her apartment door.

Avery was checking a voicemail from a missed call as the car pulled up and as she pulled her phone down, she swore under her breath. Bucky opened the front door for her, quizzical look on his face. "What's going on?"

She just sighed, typing something out on her phone. "Lora's bachelorette is next Saturday and the venue we booked for drinks just cancelled. I can't be that mad since a _pipe burst_ above their bar but damnit." She grumbled something else to herself as she tapped on her phone. She sent out an SOS to the wedding party chat and sighed as they started to pull away. "It was this cool little rooftop bar with a private area." She let out a dramatic whine.

"Do you think you can find somewhere else?" Bucky asked from the backseat with a shrug. "Lots of bars in the city."

"I'm going to have to try," Avery replied with a pout. "Or we'll be pre-drinking in 509 I guess."

Steve gripped the wheel as he navigated away from the restaurant through the evening traffic. "Does the location matter?"

Avery shrugged. "Maybe not. We were just gonna hang out, play some games before going out to a piano bar."

"Then I think I know just the place."

Avery's concerns and fast growing anxiety over the venue situation were squashed when Steve pushed open the door to the rooftop terrace of his building. He lived on the top floor and explained how anyone had access to renting out the space but it was often left unoccupied. Avery was speechless as they walked further onto the roof - there was a large set of outdoor couches, a small bar top and outdoor fire pit, plus string lights that illuminate the entire space.

"Oh my god, this would be perfect," Avery said, clapping her hands in excitement. "Are you sure it's okay? You'd have to let half a dozen drunk bridesmaids use your bathroom."

"It's okay. I'm sure Lora's friends aren't that rambunctious," Steve said with a reassuring nod. Bucky moved a few feet away to take a phone call.

Avery smiled at Steve again, grabbing his hand to give it a simple squeeze before moving toward the side of the building. From one side, there was a spectacular view of Manhattan. From the other, you could see across the Hudson into New Jersey. It would be a beautiful place to have their girls night and even better, wouldn't cost anything but some labour and the cost of refreshments.

She turned back to thank Steve again and saw him and Bucky having a quiet conversation and looking down at Bucky's phone. By the time she reached them near the stairs again, another voice appeared from the edge of the roof.

"That was fast," Bucky said with a stilted laugh, turning to greet their new guest.

"Well, I guess you couldn't tell I was mid-swing when I called."

Avery shuffled around and raised her eyebrows as Spider-man himself approached them. She was even more surprised when he tore off his mask. She had seen him at the compound when she visited with Steve a while ago but seeing him up close he looked so _young._

"Oh shoot," he said, eyes going wide as he saw Avery. He started to tug his mask on again and Steve held up a hand to stop him.

"Too little too late, Pete," Steve laughed. "It's okay. Avery can keep a secret."

The younger boy smiled, though he looked a touch uncomfortable. "I'm Peter." He stuck out his red gloved hand outwards to her.

Avery smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Avery."

Once their pleasantries were over, Bucky stepped forward. "So what did you see?"

Peter seemed to hesitate, shuffling as he stood. He glanced between Bucky and Steve, eyes darting to Avery.

"Oh. Should I go wait downstairs or.."

Avery glanced up at Steve who shook his head, extending his arm over her shoulder then motioned for Peter to just go ahead and talk.

Peter nodded aggressively for a moment and extended his wrist out. Suddenly, a hologram appeared above his hand, displaying a steam of video footage.

"So, I, uh, followed that delivery truck all throughout Queens and it stopped at this warehouse near the docks in Flushing." The video came from Peter's point of view directly and Bucky's eyes were glued to it.

Another one of their tagged crates had shown up in the city and they had left it with Peter to watch. It was curious to them it had taken so long to appear somewhere finally and Bucky had a lot of theories stirring.

"I couldn't get a great look in," Peter continued to narrate as the view shifted. He flicked his fingers for the video to zoom in. "But watch." His footage showed a steady view of a few men, wearing dark jumpsuits, breaking open the wooden crate. Inside, they revealed a few lawyers of concrete cylinders. Two of them worked to move one out of the crate, simply dropping it onto the warehouse floor. "They just started smashing all of them. Then they crowded around and I lost my angle. But there was something concealed _inside_ those concrete tubes. I can't be sure but" Peter tapped to pause the video, pointing to one man holding something up. "That looks like a gun to me."

Bucky huffed. He turned to Steve. "That's a new one. Moving weapons inside concrete. But if that metal is coming up undetectable on security scans, it's a sure fire way to hide 'em. Heavy, though. Especially for the big ones."

Avery wasn't trying to listen intently but actually had something to contribute. "You know, I was at a job site for a concrete pour last week and this contractor was explaining to me there's been huge scientific developments in concrete. It was really boring but he said a few places are working with this lightweight prototype. He said it's like.. sixty percent lighter in mass when it cures? Not that I'm an expert or anything.." She trailed off and realized the other three were just staring at her, eyes wide. "Sorry. You didn't ask. Not my place -

"No, that's actually very helpful, doll," Bucky said with a nod, stifling his proud smile. "Do you know the company that was doing the concrete work on that site?"

"Oh, yes. Simonarc exclusively works with Haskell Concrete & Materials."

Bucky tensed as he met Steve's eyes. Haskell. The H in the elusive S.H.O.T mess. This was all adding up to _something_ and neither of them felt good about it.

"Fuck," Bucky muttered out. "I don't wanna do this right now but I want to go check this out for myself." Bucky turned to Steve and Avery. "Sorry to end date night so quickly. Do you have tac gear in your closet?"

Steve nodded, reaching into his pocket to hand Bucky his car keys. "Please don't scratch this. Happy was hesitant to loan it out."

Bucky leaned in and gave Avery a quick kiss and headed to the stairwell. Peter just nodded at them and turned to follow. "So are you and Captain Rogers both dating that girl? Like that old show _Three's Company_?"

Avery smiled as they disappeared, turning towards Steve who looked deep in thought. "Everything okay?" She closed in the space between them, sliding her hands over his hips to rest on his lower back. He pulled her in close, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"Just trying to solve this strange puzzle," he mumbled out. Try as he might to leave work at work, it seemed to follow them - even when they were trying to have a date night.

"Do you.. need a distraction?" Avery said quietly, tracing her fingers against his back. She felt his chest rumble with laughter.

"That's exactly what I need," he said with a nod. He moved his hand to cradle her cheek, meeting her lips with his own. Avery didn't hesitate to give in and give _more._ Soon enough, they were making out on the rooftop. Steve only broke away to take a breath and grab her hand, leading back to the door and hurrying down the staircase to his apartment.

Bucky had clearly come and gone quickly, leaning his discarded dress shirt and shoes in the doorway. Steve did pause to move his boots and pick up his shirt, then hurried to follow Avery into his bedroom.

Avery had flopped down onto his bed, heels kicked off to the floor. Steve started to unbutton his shirt as he walked in, after leaving his suit jacket on the couch.

"You know, I had a dream about you and this bed," Steve met her at the edge. She was on her knees, reaching up to help with the rest of his buttons.

"Oh yeah? Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine," she replied, pushing his shirt away, letting her lips find his neck. Steve couldn't bring any words to his mouth as hers explored. Her hands found his belt next, quickly pulling the leather strip away and dropping it to the floor. "Mine involved Bucky, too."

Steve practically growled as he listened to her, gently pushing her back onto the bed. He crawled up over her, lips crashing, words forgotten in the dark. His hands moved against the fabric of the dress, untying the side knot as it fell away. "No bra, huh?"

"Wouldn't work with this neckline," Avery returned with a laugh. "You complaining?"

"No, not at all." It was easier access for his mouth, apparently. He paused as his tongue lapped against her, peering outwards to see the bliss on her face. "You wish Bucky was here too, doll?"

Avery nearly melted at his raspy voice. She whimpered out a yes.

"You want him to watch? Or participate?" His hands moved across her skin, mouth returning to nibble on her chest as she answered.

"Both." She nearly jumped when she felt Steve's hands at the waistband of her underwear. "Want you both. Together." Her head fell to the pillows as his hand explored between her legs. "Oh, fuck." Time seemed to speed up and slow down as Steve and Avery made a mess of his bedsheets, this time without worrying about noise or interruptions or _anything_. It was just hands and lips and warmth, panting and moaning, until they each collapsed in pleasure. More than once.

Bucky came back a few hours later, dirtier than before and looking tired. He found Steve and Avery already cuddling in bed, unsurprisingly without clothes on. Well, Avery had one of his shirts on.

"Had all the fun without me, huh?" Bucky said with a smirk, tearing off his layers of clothes.

"Avery started it," Steve laughed, pushing himself up to lean against the headboard.

"Not my fault," Avery defended herself. "Steve's got a dirty mouth. I couldn't help myself." She took in a sharp breath as Bucky took off his tank top, exposing his chest to the lowlights of Steve's bedside lamps. "But I was hoping you'd maybe wanna have a shower, Buck." Avery turned her head to Steve. "You're welcome to join, too."

Steve tilted his head as if considering his options. "If you two want a moment alone.."

Bucky laughed as he reached for his belt. "You don't have to take part, punk. But I bet Ave wouldn't mind an audience."

Avery let out a dramatic gasp as she climbed out of bed. "I tell you one little secret, Bucky. That's not fair."

An hour later, they were all cuddling in Steve's bed together.

While what transpired in the shower may not have been described as a threesome, Avery had never been more turned on in her life. Bucky had her pressed against the shower wall, attached at the hips, whispering illicit things as the water drowned them from above. He was aggressive and thorough and grabby, holding onto Avery firmly as he thrusted into her. Meanwhile, Steve leaned against the other side of the steam shower and watched, his hand busy working between his thighs. Then, they all smiled, warm hands everywhere ensuring the grimey warehouse was washed off of Bucky.

It was damn satisfying.

Now, she was sandwiched between them in bed. Well, she was laying on her stomach and staring at her bridal party group chat as Steve and Bucky vaguely talked over her about work related things.

Avery closed her eyes, leaning into her pillow as she shut off her phone. "Can you rub my back?"

She closed her eyes and smiled to herself when two hands landed on her shoulders.

"Wait. Who were you asking?"

"It was a test," Avery opened her eyes and looked up at Steve. "Just wanted to see what would happen."

"Funny," Bucky said as he rolled his eyes, continuing to run his hands over her naked back.

She pouted. "In my defense, I worked hard tonight."

"Oh, were you the one who went and scoped out a warehouse with the spiderling for hours?" Bucky shook his head. "That kid never shuts up."

"No, but she did have sex with two super soldiers," Steve added in, nodding proudly to himself. He shuffled and nudged Bucky's hands away, taking over the task.

"Oh, what a hardship," Bucky fell down flat on the bed, leaning over to kiss Avery. "I do appreciate that though."

"Excuse me. I'm probably going to have trouble walking tomorrow."

"You said _harder_ ," Steve replied with a laugh, pressing his thumbs along her shoulders. "You knew what you were asking for, sweetheart."

Avery just smiled as they bickered over her again. Eventually, Steve's hands were lulling her to sleep. She felt two kisses on the top of her head, one following the other as she drifted off.

* * *

"So, what were you doing out in Elmhurst today?" Bucky lifted his gaze to look at Avery as she sat across from him and Steve at her kitchen table.

It was just a regular Tuesday night. Avery requested her boys over for dinner and was so happy to just _be_ in their presence. She was feeling strange and sad and anxious and worried. Usually just being around Bucky or Steve put her at ease but it wasn't working as quickly as she wanted.

She just had a feeling of impending.. something.

Work had been frustrating, leading her to feeling more and more uncertain about so many things Will had been telling her. She had spent most of her afternoon writing her letter of resignation - which had been satisfying, even if she wasn't ready to quit yet.

The previous morning she tried to return the money and memory drive to him but he had pleaded with her for the help. She said yes, again, but didn't do anything. She figured next time he asked, she would just explain the storage drive was corrupt so she didn't get a chance to look at it. They had visited a site that Tuesday afternoon but he had been too preoccupied to ask her about it again.

Avery came home and prepared dinner - well, she made a salad to accompany the pasta she had picked up on the way home. It was enough. The windows across her living room were open, streaming in the last of the evening sun and allowed a gentle breeze into the apartment, letting her greenery breathe in the fresh air.

Bucky had been stewing about the Osborn research all day. He was tired of the _what ifs_ and unanswered questions and despite Steve's hesitance, Bucky wanted to ask more questions of Avery. Especially after what they saw in that warehouse Friday night.

There had to be some information she could provide to fill in whatever was missing.

"I just help Will on site visits. Mostly like note taking and holding schematics as he compares. They're in the preliminary build stage for a new apartment complex on Grand." She sighed, poking at the pasta on her plate. "He says I'm a Project Support Administrator now but really I'm like his glorified secretary when we're out of the office. He's also trying to train me on a bunch of things, talking about me taking some project management courses and - " Avery put down her fork and tilted her head. "Wait. How do you know I was in Queens?"

"You mentioned it earlier?" Bucky felt a lump in his throat. She hadn't. That was a stupid, stupid lie. He knew because he was watching the tracker in her phone earlier.

The tracker he had not disabled or told her about. Even though he had assured Steve he would at least make her aware of it.

"I don't think I did," Avery replied quietly, pursing her lips. She was certain she didn't. Mainly because the job site had been a touch questionable. She tugged on the sleeves of her light cardigan, covering up the bottom of her wrists.

Steve sighed, raising a hand to pinch between his nose. "Buck." He pushed up the sleeves of his button up, casting a sideways glance at Bucky.

"You stalking me or something?" Avery smirked then looked between them both. Neither of her boyfriends shared her amused glance. "That was a joke. What aren't you telling me?" She nudged her plate away, moving a hand to anxiously run through her hair.

Bucky brought a hand up to rub his neck as he took a deep breath. Before he could say anything, a loud thumping noise sounded out above them. It had been a while since Avery's upstairs neighbours - who were also Bucky's _downstairs_ neighbours - had been much of an issue. Every now and then some yelling occurred between the guy who lived there and his girlfriend. A dog yelped out following the thud and all three of them stilled.

Avery looked up to her ceiling for a second then across to Bucky and Steve, who were exchanging a stiff glance. Music started to play upstairs, too.

They all cautiously kept talking.

She shifted in her chair, folding her arms over her chest. "Well?" Her words were tensely directed at Bucky, who appeared to be navigating through his thoughts to come up with a response to her.

"Okay, Ave, hear me out," Bucky slowly put down his fork against his plate, rubbing his hand across his jaw as he met her gaze. She looked… worried. "I knew you were out in Queens today because.. I, uh, a few weeks ago installed a minor tracking algorithm on your phone."

"What?!" Avery shook her head, eyes wide. A minor tracking algorithm? That was a cute way to say he had basically microchipped her phone. "Why would you do that? And why the fuck wouldn't you talk to me about it or, I don't know -" She let out a sharp exhale, "Maybe ask for my permission? You just took my phone one night and did this?"

"Avery," Steve joined them in ridding himself of his cutlery, tensing his jaw as he looked towards her.

"Did you know about this?" she asked through her teeth, shifting to look at Steve.

Steve held his hands up. He really didn't want to get involved. "It happened before.. _this_ relationship started."

"But you knew?" She blinked at him a few times, cheeks growing red with anger.

"I did but he said he was going to tell you.."

"Steve really had nothing to do with it," Bucky said slowly, shaking his head.

"What's that quote about being neutral in situations of injustice?" Avery pushed her chair back and stood up, racing towards her bedroom to retrieve her phone. She came back out, phone in hand, waving her arm towards Bucky. "Uninstall it. Now."

"It was just a safety precaution, doll," Bucky replied, hesitantly reaching out to take her phone. He paused, lips pulling into a barely visible smirk. "I'd say it's hardly an injustice."

Avery dropped back into her chair. "I am trying really hard to contain myself here, Bucky." She pursed her lips together, running a hand through her hair as it swept over her shoulder.

Rational thoughts. She needed rational thoughts. Rational thoughts would keep the anxiety at bay.

 _Rational_.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Have I given you any reason not to trust me?" Was this where she wanted to start? Her hands, which had been resting at the edge of the table, curled into fists. "I don't talk about my ex-boyfriend a lot because, well.. It doesn't matter, really. But he used to always ask where I was, where I was going, who I was with. It was an insane lack of trust because he was.. I never knew for sure but.. Fuck. I can't get into it. But he severed my trust and -

Bucky knew she was getting anxious - he had caught her tells by now. Her body language closed in, she was guarded. Her voice teetered between angry and timid. Her blinks were tighter, she bit on her lip, her face flushed. "Avery, doll. It's not about trust. Of course I trust you. I just… I worry about you." Bucky tapped a few times on her phone screen then typed in a code. He handed it back to her, taking a deep breath and glancing over to Steve for a brief second. "I don't think you're always honest with us about how you're feeling or about things that might be affecting you or -

"So you trust me but you think I'm a liar?" Avery's eyebrows shot up and she stood again, walking towards her door. "You can leave."

"No. That's not what I said." Bucky stood the same, crossing over to stand in the living room. "That's not how this works, Ave. If you're mad at me, we should talk about it. You can't just send me away."

"I'm sending you both away, actually." Her words were sharp. "If I want space to think about all of this, you should give it to me."

"Listen, Stevie had nothing to do -

Avery threw her hands up. "Steve didn't tell me about it nor did he -

Avery's argument was cut short when there was another commotion coming from the apartment above hers. There was a screeching female voice overlapping a series of shouting from the male occupant. All three of them looked up, as if they could hear through the ceiling. (Well, Steve and Bucky probably _could_ hear through the ceiling.) The woman's voice turned frantic suddenly, as if she was pleading. It wasn't easy to make out her dialogue over the music and barking dog, but what was loud enough was the _gunshot_ that sounded out next.

Avery gasped, bringing her hand up over her mouth as her eyes grew wide with fear.

Without even a second of hesitation both Steve and Bucky moved towards the door. Bucky paused and reached up on Avery's bookshelf beside her TV unit. His hand brushed around near the backside and suddenly he produced a narrow, collapsed knife.

"Steve, there's a handgun underneath the sink," Bucky said quickly, tucking the knife in the back pocket of his jeans and hurrying towards the door.

"I don't know if that's necessary, Buck." Steve was standing still, trying to focus on listening to what was happening above him. His right hand moved to his pocket to grab his phone.

"Just in case."

Steve conceded a nod and followed Bucky's instructions. He reached inside the cupboard under Avery's sink, feeling around and pulling down a small black pistol. His phone was already tucked between his ear and shoulder, talking with an emergency dispatch.

Avery didn't even have time to react to the fact that there were _weapons_ hidden around her home when Bucky reached her at the door. His hands held onto her shoulders as he scanned over her face. He hated that her anxiety was loudly on display, quivering lips, narrowed eyebrows, tears hesitating to fall down her cheeks. He wanted to stay and get through this _stupid fight_ but there was no way he or Steve could let the actions continue to unfold upstairs. One gunshot indicated they probably should have tried to intervene sooner, even.

"I need you to wait in your bedroom and lock the door. Only open it when me or Steve come back."

"What are you -

"Avery, please." His eyes flicked towards the bedroom. "Now."

When another gunshot sounded off upstairs, she knew it wasn't time to argue. He kissed her forehead and she turned away from him, catching a small, concerned glance from Steve as he exited through the door with Bucky. She could hear their voices, low, going over a plan as they approached the stairway and made their way to the unit above.

Avery did as Bucky said, locking her bedroom door before sitting on her bed. She sat there, very still, trying to listen to whatever else was going to happen upstairs. She thought about what they might be walking into - at least one deranged man with a gun was too much for her to even wrap her mind around. Sure, Bucky was in dangerous situations all the time and well, Steve was Captain America and had seen his fair share of violence over the years. She could only hope they were both trained on how to de-escalate tense scenes or could handle what was going on until the NYPD showed up.

But they were going on with nothing to protect themselves - no kevlar or layers of tactical gear. Yes, sure, they healed rapidly but she knew well enough that a gunshot wound would still affect them. She tangled her hands together as she waited, trying to combat all the _worst case scenarios_ going through her mind. But the anxiety started to seeped out, pushing underneath the carefully locked door of worries in her mind.

Despite the distance between her apartment and the one above, she could hear Steve's voice. It was level and calm. She could only assume he was taking charge, trying to get the weapon away from the agitated party.

Weapon.

Avery finally let herself think for a goddamn moment about how Bucky was so quick to reveal he had hidden weapons around her apartment. She was tempted to scream and start pulling things out of her dresser drawers and closets, in case he had hid something in her bedroom, too. It was almost comical that this had all unfolded in one night - of course her _inconsiderate_ boyfriends, one a retired Avenger and the other a former _trained assassin_ had the ability to track her phone without her realizing and conceal weapons in her home. She supposed she could be grateful instead of angry but without transparency, she was struggling to make sense of it.

Why was Bucky so adamant about these safety precautions? Was it paranoia or were he and Steve actually concerned about threats to her wellbeing? Was that really something she should be upset about - that they cared so deeply about her?

A frustrated groan escaped from her throat as she fell back onto the bed, kicking her legs out rapidly. She was allowed to be mad, she was. She shouldn't have to remind herself of that.

* * *

The situation playing out in the apartment on the sixth floor was not a particularly easy one. The door had been left open and as Steve and Bucky approached, light footed and cautious, they silently made a plan. It was a blessing they could communicate so easily. Steve took the lead, knocking as he pushed the door open. Inside, he was relieved to find no one bleeding or injured from the gunshots.

It was clear soon enough this was some sort of domestic argument that grew out of control. The man had taken control in a rage, the woman hiding from him in fear. He tried to dismiss Bucky and Steve, demanding their privacy.

The rest of the situation unfolded quickly. Steve tried to talk down the aggressive male while Bucky slowly put himself between the man and the woman cowering on the couch. When Steve eventually lunged at the man, the gun went off _again_ and Bucky deflected it with his left arm. The police showed up not long after everything calmed down. The man was escorted out in handcuffs, the woman left crying on the couch while she recounted the circumstances to the police officers and Steve.

Bucky, meanwhile, lingered in the kitchen area, kneeled on the ground making friends with the small scared pup. Steve came over and offered him a soft smile.

"Do you want to go check on Avery? We're almost done here," Steve crossed his arms, eyes going back towards the police officers talking to the woman.

Bucky stood up, swallowing hard. "I'll wait for you."

What he was really saying was along the lines of _I'm not sure I want to face her alone._

The police officers moved towards the door with the woman, who paused to collect her pug from his place at Bucky's feet. They thanked both Steve and Bucky for their help then they all moved downstairs.

As Steve and Bucky approached Avery's door again, unharmed aside from the small hole in Bucky's shirt, Steve paused to grab Bucky's wrist. "Please don't tell me you have any other weapons hidden in there."

Bucky sighed. "No. I mean, she has a bat in her bedroom but that didn't come from me."

Steve smirked for a second then his face fell. "You know this might not go smoothly, right?" He ran a hand through his hair, flexing his jaw.

"I think I'm doing pretty poorly as a boyfriend today," Bucky murmured out, reaching his hand out to Avery's door handle. He pressed in the code and pushed the door open. Steve patted his back in support as they went back into her apartment. He left the handgun on the kitchen island and Bucky dropped his knife down there, too.

Steve took the lead again and headed to Avery's door. He listened carefully at first then knocked. The door flew open and Avery was quick to throw herself onto whomever was on the other side.

"Are you okay? Both of you? I heard another gunshot.." She closed her eyes tight and let Steve's arms wrap around her.

"We're fine," Steve said as he pulled away, kissing her forehead. "No one was hurt. A bullet grazed Bucky's metal arm but it didn't even leave a scratch."

Avery broke away from Steve, pausing to look him over quickly before rushing over to hug Bucky just the same. She ran her hands down his arms as she pulled away, tracing her thumb over the hole in his henley on his left arm. He shifted and grabbed her hand to move it away, giving it a gentle squeeze as if to confirm he was _okay._

"What happened to the dog?" Avery asked next, taking a small step away from him then glancing back to Steve. He was still standing outside her bedroom door, slowly moving back towards the kitchen.

"The dog left with the woman and the police," Steve answered, nodding his head. "He was unscathed."

Avery nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Okay. Everyone was okay. They were okay. She inhaled deeply, trying to center herself again and come back to what was happening before. Then her eyes spotted the knife and gun resting on her kitchen island.

That definitely brought her back. She shifted on her feet, pivoting to look from the weapons and back towards Bucky. She pursed her lips. "So."

Bucky took a step back and leaned against her kitchen counter. "Ave, let me explain."

"Yes, please explain. I would love to know why you thought to hide a loaded _glock_ underneath my kitchen sink!" She threw her hands up, dropping one to run through her hair as she paced between them both.

"It's not a Glock, technically. That's a specific manufacturer and -

Avery groaned, scrunching up her face. "Bucky!" Her gaze went to Steve next, as if to see if he was going to contribute to their argument.

Steve had been hesitant about getting involved. This really seemed like something between Bucky and Avery. He didn't want to take sides - especially when he could very easily sway to either one. Sure, Bucky should not have done anything to Avery's apartment or phone without talking to her about it first. That was easy enough. But, he knew well enough that there were dark, bad people in their life and Avery being entwined with both of them now brought up an extra security risk they needed to be cautious of.

"Avery, I know it seems extreme and I'm not condoning how Bucky did this but you've got to understand that there are certain thought processes and fears we have when it comes to your wellbeing. You know we care about you."

She exhaled sharply, turning to Steve, pointing at his chest. "I'm not _angry_ that you care about me. I'm angry you've given me no say in how you want to 'protect' me." She used an over exaggerated air quotes motion as she drew out the word _protect._ "No one asked me about my phone or the dangerous goods hiding around my home."

"You didn't even know about the gun or knife, babe," Bucky pushed off of the counter and stepped towards her. "I should have told you but I really didn't think it was an issue."

It was a dumb argument and Bucky knew that the moment the words left his mouth. He knew he fucked up - judging by Avery's reaction this was not going to be immediately resolved either. He resisted balling his hands into fists, an unnecessary aggression but all he could do was channel his frustration into blame and hazard to himself. In his mind, whether or not he could admit it out loud, keeping Avery safe was the most important thing in his life. It was the only mission that mattered above anything else, save from the equally important well being of Steve.

His execution of how to keep her safe was flawed. That was clear enough.

This is why he was grateful to have Steve along the way now. To filter his dumbass, reactive ideas.

Avery was practically stomping with irritation. He remembered how her irritated face used to make him laugh - because she was somehow effortlessly adorable when she pouted. But this version of her was different, elevated, _hurt._

"It's not a fucking issue until I'm under the sink looking for a vase and I discover a loaded handgun instead. Just because I was so blissfully unaware doesn't make it okay." She was practically hissing now. "Any other surprises I should know about?" She could feel her breath picking up as her mind raced. She pivoted back to Steve then to Bucky again. "And who are you so desperate to protect me from that you're not only tracking my whereabouts but planning just in case we're attacked in my apartment?"

"Hey, hey." Steve took a few steps forward and hesitantly reached his hand out to grab her shoulder. She let him, though she tensed at the touch.

There was no hiding the fact that Avery was overwhelmed by all of this. The nervous feeling that was coursing through her continued to build - every part of her felt tight with anxiety. The surface of her skin was somehow hot and cold, itchy and drenched in sweat. Every noise in her apartment grew louder and louder, the buzzing of her fridge and the squeaky pipes of the building sounded like an unpracticed symphony. It was a sensory overload and she just wanted to collapse to her knees.

Deep in that back hallway of her mind, a faceless monster of anxiety dragged its feet forward.

Steve slowly moved his hand from her shoulder, rubbing gentle circles on her back instead. She remained stiff, eyes closed focusing on her breathing.

His hand, typically used to hold a shield or become a fist of protection, kept the monster at bay.

"I have worked really hard to have a home, a safe escape from my stupid old life and my job and everything _outside_ ," Avery's voice was barely above a whisper. Her lungs felt overworked, like they couldn't get enough air. "I understand you are concerned, especially after the break in, but neither of you get to decide on safety precautions for me _without talking to me_."

Her voice was raspy and tired. She couldn't even bear to continue her thoughts.

Bucky closed in more of the space between them. He met Steve's gaze, as if to confirm what he should say next. He knew where she was coming from, really. He understood. But the bright red flashing light in his mind was taking over.

"I don't agree with that, doll," Bucky's words came out slowly, as if he was approaching a startled animal. "There very well might be a time, maybe even many times, where we make decisions about your safety without consulting you. That's not up for debate. Steve and I are trained to -

"What are you so worried about protecting me from!?" Avery's body language changed dramatically, pulling away from them both. She crossed her arms and paced in small circles near the doorway.

Her head pounded with the heavy stomps of regret. Why now? Out of all the times she needed to have a handle on herself, her anxiety had to surface at full force? She tried to keep herself from hyperventilating.

The _monster_ in her head had other plans.

 _Please._ She tried to plead with her own subconscious. _Not now._

"Sweetheart," Steve reached his hand out towards her.

Bucky shook his head again, throwing up his arms in defeat. "It doesn't matter, Avery! This entire situation got out of hand, okay? I should have told you about the tracker in your phone. And the gun. And the knife. I'm in the wrong. I just.. if something were to happen to you I could have prevented.. Avery, I _love_ you and I can't-

"Excuse me?" Avery whipped around to look at him, one hand on her hip while the other pointed at him. "What did you just say?"

Steve took a step forward, as if trying to place himself between them both. He knew what Bucky said, loud and clear. Steve was surprised it left his lips so casually but he wasn't surprised to _hear it_.

It was soon, sure.

Bucky knew what he felt.

Steve felt it, too.

Bucky gulped. "If something were to -

"No, after that." She groaned, shaking her head. "This isn't fair, Buck! You don't get to say that - _that you love me_ \- in the middle of this!" She motioned her hands around and the tears finally released. "It's not fair. It's.. it's emotional bartering. I'm done with this. You both need to leave."

"It's not.. that's not it at all, Avery. Please. I mean it. I love you and we need to talk about all this."

"Sweetheart, I.. we don't want to leave you alone," Steve moved forward and reached for her hand. She let him take it for a few seconds before she yanked it away. The monster pushed him away.

"Well, I want to be alone."

She didn't. She really didn't. She wanted to scream that she loved Bucky, too. Hell, she had been wrestling with the word love for weeks now.

She was sure she loved Steve, too.

It wasn't her own self in control anymore. It was.. a shell, who left her body and sent away her rational thoughts. It was a monster of anxiety and sadness and fear, shouting into the echo of her mind that _alone was better._

"Please, just give me some time to work through all of this."

_Work through this? Laughable. What do you know about love, Avery? Send them away. Away. Away from you._

She closed her eyes. The monster wouldn't let her listen to any of their follow up replies. They disappeared into the air, not even coming close to her ears.

Her eyes were blurry but she was certain Steve's lips said _I'm sorry._

The monster kept her arms locked at her side, her eyes avoiding their eyes.

Everything moved in a suffocating slow motion.

Bucky paused in front of her, bringing his hand up to her face. He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. His mouth moved but she couldn't hear a thing. " _Avery, baby, I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

The monster in her mind laughed.

Soon her apartment was as empty as her heart.

She collapsed behind the door once they were outside. She didn't hear their footsteps walk away. In fact, if she had been concentrating even a little bit, she would have heard Steve lean against her door frame. She would have felt the ground thump as Bucky planted himself on the carpet in front of her door, too.

Each breath she took felt more and more shallow.

_Please, don't go._

_I love you both. I love you too. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY listen I am sorry. It's not all sunshine and rainbows but this was a strange balance of hope and fluff then.. Some hardship. It's just hard to fight your anxiety, especially when you think you're just overreacting and the rest of the world is judging you for it. If this chapter was the calm before the storm, just know that the next chapter brings this all to a head. Things have been building up in our sweet sweet Avery's mind and on the other side there is hope.
> 
> I just want to take a second and say thank you *once again* for the support. As a writer, getting comments and kudos and reviews and all that jazz makes it all the more worthwhile. And even if you don't have anything to say, I appreciate you being here anyway :)
> 
> Next up: who knew a single hardhat could push you right over the edge of your emotional breakdown.


	21. Exhausted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: mentions of gun violence, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, some smut (three... people... one... bed...), brief mentions of choking.

Bucky was exhausted. Mentally, not physically. Although, Sam was giving him a run for his money as they ran drills at the compound.

Bucky was laying flat on a padded mat, Sam across from him eyes wide.

"You're in the middle of a fight with her and you think that's when you should use the L word for the first time?"

Bucky nodded, reaching his arm out to lay it across his eyes.

"The weapons thing I get - considering shit I've had to deal with over the years, I can rationalize what you did. But saying 'I love you' like that?" Sam huffed out another laugh. "That's a new one."

Bucky was starting to regret asking Sam for advice.

* * *

Steve was exhausted. Even though he could easily run on just a few hours of sleep - thanks super serum - after the events of the previous night, it was difficult to get his mind in order.

He and Bucky both sat outside Avery's door for over an hour, hoping she'd open up and talk to them. They heard her moving around inside. Her feet shuffled around the apartment in a nervous pace before she took a long shower (clocking in at 14 minutes) then they heard her falling onto her bed.

Bucky and Steve had a quiet argument about staying outside her door all night or one of them just going in and waiting on the couch but eventually conceded that pouncing on her was not the best course of action.

Now, he was trying to drown his worries in his work.

A knock sounded out at his door and his gaze lifted to see Sharon, leaning against the doorframe.

"You ready, Cap?" She had a soft smile on her face, which quickly fell as she looked over him.

"Hmm?" Steve had already gone back to the paperwork in front of him.

"We have that check in meeting with Nick, Maria and Ross?"

"Oh. Yes. Right. I got a reminder." Steve trailed off, shaking his head. "Boardroom?"

Sharon nodded, waiting at the door for him so they could walk together. "What's going on, Steve?" She grabbed his elbow for a second as they paused in the hallway. "Before you dismiss me entirely, remember that I know your tells."

* * *

Sam dodged Bucky's right hook, holding up the practice mitts for a moment of reprieve. "Wait. Really? Steve too? You're just some.. throuple now?" His jaw dropped open. "Damn. Kasey was right."

Bucky laughed, though it felt a bit empty. "It just makes sense, man."

Sam tilted his head as if considering his words then nodded, dropping his arms. "I wasn't sure Avery had a lot of common sense dating you. But Steve, too? Now I know she definitely doesn't."

Bucky's fist hit him against the jaw.

"C'mon, man!"

* * *

Sharon was nodding along as Steve lamented to her after their meeting.

"I can't say I'm surprised, really. You and Bucky share everything else so the fact that you've both fallen for the same person is almost poetic."

Steve's cheeks tinted pink as Sharon spoke.

"That being said, I'm on Team Avery here." Sharon shifted and crossed her arms on the table, giving Steve a hard look.

He was a bit taken aback. "What?" He let out a long breath. "The whole thing should have been handled better, I don't disagree."

"Steve." Sharon tucked her hair back over her shoulders. "New relationships are fun and warm and exciting. But also so scary. Pair that with dating two overprotective, worrisome _Avengers_ and that's got to be overwhelming. I think you two need a softer approach."

"Avery is not the type to be babied."

"Oh god, of course not. That's not what I mean." Sharon rolled her eyes. "You want to take care of her. I'll bet a part of her wants to be taken care of, too. But there must be a balance between it all or she'll feel suffocated."

* * *

"I remember the first time you had a panic attack on a mission."

Sam smirked as Bucky looked up at him from the weight bench. He grumbled and racked his weight, motioning for Sam to take a few steps back as he sat up.

"Feelin' nostalgic?" Bucky asked, stretching out his arms as he swung around to sit and look at Sam.

"Nah. I just want to remind you how resistant you were to my help. All I wanted to do was teach you some breathing exercises and you just sunk into yourself, figured it out on your own. Which.. was fine. Like I was going to press when you were still new to all this shit."

Bucky knew exactly the mission Sam was referencing. It was only a month or so after the world returned to 'normal' and The Avengers were regrouping to their new life and roles in the aftermath of the final snap. Everything was _a mess._ They had been running around Brazil, helping the UN navigate recovery procedures. But their focus shifted to pro-Titan militia groups, Thanos worshippers, who had been taking on the task of continuing his legacy - planned mass murders, organized manipulative suicide pacts.

They burnt themselves out. Steve tried to pull them back but there was work to be done and one final rebel group they needed to find and deal with.

Bucky couldn't remember exactly why it happened but as they rescued a family from a rough neighborhood, a small crying child clung to his legs. And Bucky froze. He managed to help Sam carry out the safety plan then he bolted, panic sweeping through his mind. When Sam caught up with him, he was somewhere between hysteria and madness, pounding into a broken concrete wall and crying.

When his brain finally came back to him, it took everything in him to drive the jet home and ignore Sam's peering eyes and questions.

"You wouldn't ask for help." Sam said as if revealing a secret. "Until you finally really needed it. You had a breaking point."

Bucky let out a long exhale.

"I'm not saying it was healthy or the right way to handle it. A breaking point is hard to come back from. Avery will come around to you two. You just need to be _right there_ until she does."

* * *

"My best advice: _show_ your remorse. Even if it was Bucky's fault. You two need a strong front." Sharon stood up and pointed at Steve. "A nice gesture goes a long way."

Steve smirked. "Thanks, Sharon. Really."

"I'm glad you three went for it. I know you've been worrying about Bucky's happiness for a while. You deserve that happiness, too."

* * *

"In all seriousness, man," Sam clamped his hand down on Bucky's shoulder as they headed towards the locker room. "Kasey was telling me how isolated Avery has been for the last year. How she didn't have any friends or family in the city really."

Bucky knew Avery was struggling to really let him and Steve in. He could understand why.

"I'm glad you three have each other now," Sam finished, a smirk on his face. "But maybe stop hiding shit from her, especially shiny dangerous weapons in her home. You're a damn magpie."

* * *

Avery was exhausted.

Even though her anxiety attack kicked her ass and she passed out after her shower, her sleep had been rough. She knew Bucky and Steve had been waiting outside her door but after everything that had happened, she welcomed the terrible sleep over facing their stilted apologies.

Maybe it had all been an overreaction. Her brain hadn't cooperated and if she could go back in time, she would have tried to reason with her own thoughts.

_They're trying to keep you safe._

_Safe._

But, what had happened couldn't be undone and when she woke up to a huge chain of apologetic messages from them both, she stayed silent.

Well, aside from one simple message.

Avery: _please just give me more time today to figure myself out. I'm not ignoring you. I'm ignoring everyone and everything._

That wasn't entirely true since she still had to work.

She dragged herself through the day. She did try and put herself together before work - dark jeans, nice blouse, cropped leather blazer - in an attempt to play the part of 'Girl Who Is _Not_ Sad About Fighting With Her Boyfriends' but her mood got the best of her. By that afternoon, when she was leaving the office with Will to check in at the Elmhurst site again, Heidi was likely happy to have her bad energy gone.

Will seemed to pick up on it, too.

After reviewing the final notes and plans for the first stages of the construction and verifying the appropriate signage was up proudly displaying the Simonarc Construction logo, they returned to the work SUV. Before starting up the engine, Will shifted in his seat to look at her.

"What's up with you today?"

Avery shook her head and turned to him. "Hmm?"

"I nearly ate shit getting around that concrete barrier and you didn't make a snarky comment," Will said with a smirk, pausing before pushing his sunglasses on.

Avery simply shrugged, moving her gaze to look out the front window.

Will laughed to himself and started up the vehicle. "Trouble in paradise?" When Avery shot him a confused glance, he paused. "You have a boyfriend, don't you?"

"Oh." Avery nodded. She had mentioned Bucky to Will before, not by name and not revealing any real details about their relationship. "Yeah. Just got into a weird fight last night but I don't want to talk about it." She shook her head, glancing at the tablet in her hands as she tapped to upload her photos and notes.

Will nodded too, deciding not to ask anymore boyfriend questions. Subject changed. "I was going to ask - what's the status on that research for me?"

Avery gulped. Right. The research she intentionally chose not to do. "I meant to tell you - I plugged in that memory drive and it said the files were corrupt. So I can't help." She was lying through her teeth and hoped he wouldn't pick up on it.

"Oh. Damn." Will gripped the steering wheel then let out a long exhale. "Okay, well, I guess I'll just give that drive back to Osborn then. Drop it in my office tomorrow."

Avery wanted to ask what he would do regarding the research without her help but she figured if she was going to _stop helping_ she needed to stop talking about it altogether. They drove quietly for a few blocks before Avery noticed their route changed.

"Aren't we going back to the office now?" She leaned to look out the window. They were heading further into Queens, not back to Manhattan.

Will sighed. "Sorry. I got an SOS that I need to verify some electrical work and glass installation at the warehouse site."

Avery groaned very loudly. It was a reflex she probably should have resisted but considering how vulnerable she was already feeling, she seemed to lack a filter. "Can you just drop me off at the office first?"

"You think I'm going to head to Manhattan in late afternoon traffic then circle back? No." Will's tone was no longer friendly. "Harry is on his way there now so I need to be in and out quickly."

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, pulling down the sleeves of her blazer and burying her fists. An electronic gate motored open as they arrived and Will barrelled through the empty parking lot towards the large warehouse. Avery's breath hitched when she pieced together the warehouse Bucky had staked out with Spider-man the other day was the same one they were approaching.

_Something did not feel right._

She considered, for a brief moment, messaging Bucky and Steve. As she swiped her fingers across her phone screen, Will stopped the vehicle and insisted she come inside with him.

"No." Avery shook her head and stared out the front window, clutching her phone.

"We'll be in and out faster if you help me, anyway." Will's hand rested on his door handle as he watched her. He sighed and spoke very slowly. "You know what I found out the other day, Avery? The _Square One_ housing program allotment can be revoked due to employment status change."

Avery's mouth dropped open as she took in his threat. Was he really trying to blackmail her? Her mind started to race as she met his hard gaze. Could he even do that? Didn't she have more information on him than he did her, anyway? But she was alongside the entire time. She had visited with him before. She did work for him for _cash._ Would he really fire her over this? She felt his veiled threat was about more than coming into the warehouse with him.

She could feel her heart rate picking up and her lungs felt shallow. On any other day she might have been bold enough to call Will out on his bullshit. In that very moment, she didn't have the energy or faith in herself to keep from crying if she got emotional. She bit her lip and reached for her own door handle, following him inside the building. The moment they stepped into the back office of the warehouse, a sinking feeling washed over her. Will gave her a few instructions to take measurements and photos of the new wall of tinted glass windows while he handled the electrical panel across the room.

Avery nodded along, haphazardly doing what he asked but spent a few minutes on her phone, trying to send a message to the boys.

"Put your phone away. Osborn installed a signal jammer," Will called out to her. "No frequency in or out until you're on the other side of the fence."

"That's fucking dumb," Avery muttered, tucking her phone away and finishing up her task.

While she looked over the window panes, she noticed there was movement outside. Another SUV had pulled up. Then a white truck. Then a concrete truck. Will walked over to where she was standing as he heard the vehicles come in and Avery wasn't sure but she thought she heard Will cursing under his breath.

What happened next was quick. Harry Osborn stepped out of the truck with two other suits. The concrete truck driver stepped out of his vehicle too. Then, out of the white truck, it looked like a security guard. He was wearing a neon vest and a bright red hardhat. They were standing about 75 feet away from the building and there seemed to be some disagreement. Avery wasn't certain of anything until one of the suits pulled out a gun. She gasped and before she could see how it played out, Will grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her away from the window.

She heard the gunshot and a thud.

Will looked outside as he pushed Avery back, demanding she stay silent as his eyes grew wide. He anxiously loosened his tie and glanced out the window again.

"Avery, I need you to get in that closet back there."

"Will, what the fuck just happened? I am not.. We need to get out of here. You need to call the cops."

"Avery, I am not joking. I'm not supposed to bring anyone to the site. You shouldn't be here.." His eyes grew wide as he heard one of the far warehouse doors open. "Avery." Will's hands quickly found her shoulders and he was pushing her back towards a far supply closet. He opened the door quickly and pushed her in.

Avery fumbled to the ground and did her best to contain her breathing.

_What. The. Fuck._

She tried to focus and listen to the voices in the room. It was.. Will talking to Harry, she was almost certain. What they discussed wasn't exactly clear but it felt like it went on for ages. Avery watched her phone, desperately trying to force it to work and find some signal but nothing happened.

She breathed in and out, slowly, trying to contain her nerves.

* * *

Bucky had a sinking feeling when he got to Brooklyn. He could understand why Avery had been giving both him and Steve radio silence for most of the day but as time ticked on, his need to just _see_ her and make sure she was _okay_ was growing and growing. It was well passed when she usually got home from work and when he reached for the door to the stairwell, he almost broke through the metal when someone stopped him.

"James?"

He paused and turned quickly, eyes darting around the small foyer of the apartment building. Beatrice was just closing up her mailbox, her small grocery cart dragging behind her.

He forced a smile onto his face and took a few steps towards her, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. "Beatrice, hello. How are you?"

The older woman waved her hand, as if she knew he was just humouring her. "I saw Avery in the hall earlier and something was wrong. I care for that girl but I've never heard her snap like she did." Beatrice paused, pushing her shoulder back slightly and raising a hand to point at Bucky's chest. "If you're being unkind to her -

Bucky's eyes grew wide at the gentle threat but he didn't take the interaction lightly.

"I promise you that's not the case. We did get into a stupid fight but I take all responsibility, ma'am."

He was relieved to know Avery was home but he had never known her to be short or guarded with Beatrice.

"My advice? Apologize and apologize and apologize. Cook the girl dinner, buy her a necklace. Be _nice._ "

"That's great advice. I'll go up and talk to her now."

Bea gave him a curt nod then a small smile crossed her lips, bidding him a farewell as she turned towards the door.

Bucky sighed and continued his way upstairs. He paused outside her door, letting Steve know he was checking on Avery. Steve confirmed he was leaving the Manhattan office and would head to their building.

Bucky leaned in to listen for her before knocking but couldn't hear anything. It was surprisingly silent. He knocked hard a few times - it wouldn't be out of character for her to be asleep, especially after the mental exhaustion from the last few days.

"Avery?"

He didn't hear any response. He repeated his actions then stopped to contemplate his next steps. Would just _walking in_ upset her when she had demanded her space? He conceded that yes, it might make her more frustrated but at least he'd be able to check on her before she asked him to leave again.

Walking into her apartment, Bucky was shocked to see the space - there was a spill of paperwork on her kitchen counter, her jacket, shoes and purse were ditched on the floor and her curtains were drawn across the room. The entire space felt still, stiff and stagnant.

"Avery?" He called out her name as he moved through slowly. He ducked his head into her bedroom and saw more of the same - curtains drawn, a dishevelled mess on her bed. It was only then he heard something - a quiet whimper, a nearly silent cry, coming from the bathroom?

The bathroom was just as dark as the rest of the apartment. The door was barely open and he pushed in slowly, the small cries growing just a bit louder as he did. Bucky cautiously turned on the lights and when he turned to see Avery sitting in the empty bathtub, fully clothed, arms wrapped around her knees as she pulled into herself, his heart nearly broke.

He rushed over to crouch beside the bathtub, extending a hand out to rest on her back. "Avery, baby. What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?"

Avery's head was tucked towards her chest, chin resting on her knees. She had _finally_ stopped crying but she knew the moment she met Bucky's eyes, she'd lose it again.

"Please say something. Are you hurt?" Bucky repeated himself, doing his best to survey the situation. The whole apartment was dark, she was making herself small in a secure place. The bat from her bedroom was leaning against the far end of the bathtub. There was a bottle of some liquor sitting at her feet. "What are you.. what are you hiding from, doll?"

She closed her eyes and tightened the grip on her knees.

"Avery, please." He was trying not to grow impatient but something was very wrong and he needed to know what. He didn't want to ask. "Are you.. Hiding from me and Steve?"

"What?" Avery finally turned to look at him, released her legs and threw her hands to reach for him. "No, God no. Never." She choked up as she met his eyes, hands cradling his jaw. "Bucky." The tears started to fall again. "I think I need help.."

"Ave." His voice was quiet and level. "Please talk to me. I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on." He leaned forward and met her lips with his. She kissed him back with a desperate hunger.

"Okay. Okay." She took a deep breath as she pulled away. "I just don't know.. how or.. hmm. I don't know where to start."

Bucky's thumb brushed against her cheeks, pushing away the leftover tears. "Why don't we start by.. leaving the bathtub?"

She leaned into his hand and, for a brief second, her lips tweaked into a distant smile. "Okay."

Bucky got her a glass of water and met her on the couch. She resumed her closed off position - legs pulled up to her chest in the corner of the couch, fingers tracing aimless circles onto her knees. She murmured a thank you to him.

"Steve said he's bringing you one of those stupid, overpriced coffee drinks you like." Bucky was trying to keep the mood light but aside from seeing that Avery was physically okay - there was no signs she was injured - nothing else was certain and his worry continued to grow.

Avery half smiled again then her face fell. She took a deep breath. "Buck, I'm sorry about last night. I got so overwhelmed and -

"Hey," Bucky shifted closer, raising a hand to stop her. "Believe me when I say you've got nothing to apologize for. I should have talked to you about all those things - the phone, the gun, the knife." He took a deep breath. "I don't really know how to do this, Avery. In the last year and a half, aside from worrying about my own damn mind, I've only ever thought about Steve's wellbeing. I don't worry much about how to protect him. He's been defending himself with his fists since grade school. But with you.." Bucky trailed off.

Avery swallowed hard as she listened to him. "I have been taking care of myself ever since I.. unvanished. I'm not used to.." It was her turn to trail off. She tried to be so confident, so bold. But after her afternoon with Will, she knew she couldn't handle this alone. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes tight. "Today, I was visiting this.. no wait. A while ago, I started visiting sites with Will and-

Avery gasped when she heard knocking on the door, pushing herself further into the couch and burying herself into her sweatshirt.

"Hey, it's just Steve, doll," Bucky reached a hand out to squeeze hers then stood, moving towards the door.

Even though she trusted Bucky - _who else would it be but Steve_ \- she was still apprehensive as he opened the door. Avery sat calmly, holding her breath until Steve actually stepped in. As if Bucky could read her mind, he used the deadbolt and chain to lock the door once Steve was inside.

Placing down the tray of hot beverages, Steve met Bucky's eyes after scanning around the room. Bucky assumed his brain started racing the same way - why was it so dark, why was it such a mess. Their eyes met and Bucky shrugged, just slightly. He didn't have any answers yet.

Steve grabbed one of the drinks and made his way towards Avery as she sat on the couch. Her tears and distress were obvious and it pained him as her eyes met his. He sat down on his knees in front of where she sat on the couch, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead. "Hey sweetheart."

Her breath hitched when she listened to his soft greeting. "Hi."

"Extra whip cream, extra cinnamon." Steve handed the cup to her and she took it reluctantly. The warmth radiated through her palm.

Bucky met them at the couch, carrying the other two drinks for him and Steve. Avery took a sip of her latte then closed her eyes again.

"Avery," Bucky was slow to speak as he shifted to look at her. "Please tell us what's going on."

Steve remained sitting in front of her. He reached a hand out, running his fingers along her right calf.

Avery reached to rest her drink on the side table and took a deep breath. "Okay. Uh, okay." She shifted to sit cross legged, glancing from Bucky to Steve.

_Bucky and Steve._

"I'm just.. I need.." She exhaled slowly. Between her exhaustion and paranoia, she could feel the anxiety in the back of her mind coming forward again.

_No._

She could do this.

"Take your time, doll."

"We're right here."

_She could do this._

"A little while ago, Will asked for my help outside of work. Just.. doing the same thing I usually do on the clock but on my day off and under the table. I know it's dumb but he offered me cash and it seemed harmless." She shook her head. "That first day, we went to this warehouse out in Queens. I didn't know who he was at the time but Harry Osborn was there and a bunch of other project partners Will is working with. I don't know. But Will rushed us away, all freaked out."

Bucky let out a sharp exhale. Must have been that day she met him for dinner, all out of sorts.

"That was supposed to be the end of it but he asked me to help with some research. Well, he wanted help understanding some files. I did that, too. But I kind of liked it - it was raw lab data and it was sort of interesting, more than my usual work load at least."

"What was the research?" Steve asked.

"That was the strange part. Most of it was redacted but whatever this project is seems a bit questionable. Some mystery compound they're developing into an inhalant, I think. I don't know. I don't really get how Will is involved, either. Maybe they're covering the cost of fixing up that building or something."

Steve just nodded as she continued.

"Then today.." She closed her eyes tightly again. "I wasn't in a great mood, as you might guess." She could sense them both agreeing with her. "And I was out in Elmhurst with Will again then he got a call to check out some work at this warehouse. It's the same one you and Peter went to, I'm certain of it. But I refused to go in with him and he made some backhand comment about how my eligibility for housing is reliant on my employment status and.."

"Jesus Christ," Bucky sounded out a few more expletives as Steve swatted him across the couch. "Avery, that's not -

"Wait. It gets worse." She gulped, breath picking up. Bucky watched as her chest heaved up and down. Her face looked anguished.

"We were inside the back office, going over some electrical work. I was making some notes about the recent window installation and noticed there was a group of people outside. Harry Osborn again and some other investors I think. There was a concrete truck coming to finish a pour for this loading ramp. Then this.. a security guard showed up out of nowhere. I don't know how it happened but he started to argue with them about something and -

Avery started to shake her head rapidly. She felt Bucky's hand on her back, pressing soothing circles across it.

"It happened so fast but someone had a gun then I heard a gunshot and Will pulled me away from the window and.." She was sobbing again. "Harry came inside and Will forced me to hide in a closet and.. When we left, the security guard, his hardhat was the only thing there. The concrete truck was gone, everyone else had left." Her eyes flew open wide, looking straight at Steve then back to Bucky. "His hardhat was just sitting beside the newly poured concrete. I think.. I think they.." She took in a sharp breath. "Covered up his body? I don't know, it sounds so insane. Should we tell the police or -

Avery's face was turning red with panic - shallow breaths battling with her rapidly beating heart.

"He was just an innocent person! Will kept saying the security guard was not supposed to be there, that he shouldn't have brought me there either. He drove me right home and said I should take tomorrow as a sick day and.."

Bucky pulled her into his arms as she broke down. "Avery, hey. You're okay. You're safe. It's okay."

She sobbed against his chest. "He didn't do anything wrong and they just.. killed him. What if.." She didn't have to finish her thought.

They were having the exact same panic, too. It all clicked into place - the papers tossed about as she searched for her housing agreement, closing herself and her apartment off from the rest of the world as she hid away in fear. Fear of losing her home, fear of losing her life.

Steve shifted to sit beside them on the couch and Avery took the opportunity to press herself against them both, accepting their strong arms as protection, their repeated words as a mantra for her safety. As she clutched onto them, Steve met Bucky's eyes. They were hard and mad - as if his brain was running in overdrive trying to manage his red hot feelings.

"I promise you're not in danger, Avery," Steve said reassuringly - to himself, to Bucky and to her. "Nothing is going to happen to you."

* * *

Bucky was standing in Avery's kitchen, room temperature coffee in hand. His eyes were narrowed on the bathroom door down the hall, which was halfway open. The warm steam from her hot, hot shower was pouring out.

He was glad she insisted on leaving the door ajar. Not that he was grateful to her anxiety but it gave him peace of mind, knowing they could hear her if she was in distress again.

While Bucky stood there, still and lost in his thoughts, Steve was working quietly to tidy her apartment. He drew the curtains open just enough to let in some end of day sunlight, and cracked open a window for fresh air. While Bucky's worry shut his mind down into one track of thoughts, Steve's seemed to force him into doing _something, anything._

Steve paused when he heard Bucky crushing his empty coffee cup, grumbling to himself.

He was just so _mad_. He couldn't even let himself be a tiny bit excited to have so much new information about Harry Osborn. It had come at the cost of Avery's wellbeing and mental health and her sense of security and that was not fucking fair.

"Buck," Steve finished organizing the pile of leftover paperwork on Avery's table and met Bucky in the kitchen. "I'm not saying this to dismiss the gravity of what's going on but you know what happened here wasn't your fault."

Bucky pursed his lips together but kept his head forward, still staring at the door. "Well, I'm not blaming Avery."

Bucky wasn't sure what he could have done differently, considering how little he had known about what Avery was doing. Yet, a strange guilty feeling still lingered.

"Neither am I," Steve defended quietly. "The fact that she's working with Will Simon and we're in the middle of this weapons mystery involving Harry Osborn is a bad coincidence." He planted himself beside Bucky, leaning against the counter and staring ahead. He reached his right hand down the hold onto Bucky's left. The metal was cool in his hand. "Her selflessness is noble. I think that's one of the things I like about her the most."

"She's been naïve, Stevie."

"Whether or not he intended to, Will took advantage of her kindness. I don't like it either."

Bucky shook his head. "I apologized for last night. Before you showed up. Sad to say I would have preferred just dealin' with the aftermath of that instead of all this."

"Sorry I missed it," Steve replied with a smirk. "Any more emotional bartering?"

A bitter laugh left Bucky's lips. "Yeah, that didn't come up. Might be too much today."

Steve moved his hand, instead extending his arm over Bucky's shoulder. "Yeah." Bucky leaned into Steve, closing his eyes at the touch.

"She deserves to hear it though." _From the both of us_ didn't need to be said out loud.

Steve sighed. It made his heart swell to think about the love he felt for Bucky and Avery both. But this was so new. There was a lot going on. It wasn't fair to throw that word around in the uncertainty.

They both paused as they heard the shower stop. There were a few heavy moments before the shower curtain shuffled and Avery's feet made contact with the tile floor. Her movements seemed slow but when she emerged, wrapped in just her towel, she sent a small smile at the two staring from across her apartment.

Avery, while relieved to unload all of that information and worries from her shoulders, felt overwhelmed. She quietly tucked into her bedroom, barely closing the door, and fell onto the bed. The last 24 hours had really kicked her ass and she had no idea what to do next. Her brain kept going over what had happened at the warehouse that afternoon and Will's voice echoed through her mind.

She wanted to clear her brain. She didn't want to think anymore. She lost herself in the fog, staring blankly up at the ceiling as the leftover water on her head soaked into the comforter.

She didn't want to think anymore.

Avery wasn't sure how long she laid there, in the silence of her haunting thoughts. But it must have been a fair amount of time, because eventually she heard a pair of hurried footsteps come check on her. The door creaked open and there stood her boyfriends, narrowed eyes watching her from the doorway.

"You okay, doll?" Bucky took the lead and walked in first, staring down at her from the end of the bed. Steve followed, sitting near her headboard, reaching his hand out to brush a few stray hairs from her forehead.

"Not really," she responded quietly, eyes closed. "But I feel a lot better already having you both here." She pushed herself to sit up, shuffling back to lean onto Steve at the top of the bed. He extended his arm over her shoulder. "So what happens now?"

Bucky opened his mouth to reply then stopped, dropping his arms to the side. "Well, you're going to quit your job and -

"Bucky," Avery cut him off. "I can't do that."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, like he didn't understand what she was saying. "Yes. You can. And you -" He stopped himself and took a deep breath. "I'm sure Steve would agree with me that until we can figure out everything going on, you shouldn't be working with anything related to Simonarc anymore."

Avery pursed her lips together, moving her eyes from Bucky and turning to look at Steve.

"There's a lot going on beyond what happened today, sweetheart," Steve said to her with a sympathetic smile. "I'm with Bucky on this one."

"Why? Listen, I know I haven't painted Will in the best light. Because he keeps proving himself spineless.. but he's definitely not the mastermind behind whatever might be going on. Deep down, he's a scaredy-cat." She took a deep breath. "What happened today was really unsettling but if I just go back to solely office work, I can keep my head down and still earn a paycheck."

"That's great but it doesn't matter. I don't want you working there anymore."

Avery scrunched up her face. "If I don't have a job, I don't have an apartment or any income or -

Bucky shook his head. "Doll, you realize it was the CEO of the Stark Foundation who covered our date night last week, right? You won't lose your apartment, I promise."

Avery didn't have the energy to argue with Bucky. She knew it would be useless and she had to let him do _this_ \- plan and protect. He did make a valid point, of course. The Avengers connection to Stark Industries and The Stark Foundation ran deep. She just hated the idea of them calling in favours for her.

She sighed as Steve's hand moved up and down her arm. "I did want to quit anyway. I have a resignation letter ready to go."

"Listen, Ave," Bucky's words were quiet but Avery listened intently. "I know you don't like to ask for help and you like doin' things on your own. I love that about you. But I need you to let us handle the big things like this. These people.. I wish you didn't have to see it first hand today.. they're dangerous." He closed his eyes. "Please let us help. Okay?"

She heard it. Barely there, slipped so casually into Bucky's quiet, passionate rant. But she heard it.

" _I love that about you."_

Steve's hand squeezed her arm tight and he kissed the top of her head.

" _I love that about you."_

Avery took in a sharp breath, staring into Bucky's eyes as they reopened. "Okay."

The tension Bucky was holding onto fell away as she agreed with him.

"You just too tired to argue?" Steve laughed and moved to kiss her neck, eliciting a giggle from her.

"No," Avery replied, enjoying the touch of his lips while looking over at Bucky. "Combatting the irrational thoughts with.. trust. I know you two just want to make sure I'm safe." She took a deep breath. "And _I love that about you_."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow at her last sentence. A playful smile crossed her face.

Steve, like he didn't have a care in the world, continued to kiss against her neck and shoulders.

Bucky moved closer to the bed, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat. "Ave, I meant… what I said. I did. I didn't say it because you were upset or angry. I really do lo-

"Shhh, you don't have to.. let's just.." She shut her eyes as she moved her head to the side, letting Steve explore even further. "C'mere." She motioned for Bucky to join them on the bed. He did, slowly, crawling up towards where she and Steve were sitting.

Avery let out a small whimper as Steve stopped for air. He nudged her forward gently, adjusting his position so he sat back against her headboard with his legs out, Avery sitting between them.

Bucky kneeled between Avery's legs, letting his left arm drop down to caress her bare calf. Slowly his fingers snaked up her leg.

"Avery, baby, I do love you."

Steve moved his hands towards her chest, where her towel was still tucked together and keeping her covered. "I.." Steve stammered, and Avery moved her hands on top of his, encouraging him to move the fabric away. "We love you."

She closed her eyes and leaned back into Steve, taking a deep breath as his hands grabbed onto her breasts. "Show me." Her arms extended forward to grab for Bucky's shirt. "Show me, don't tell me."

It didn't take any more requesting for Bucky to tear off his Henley before he bent forward to meet Avery's lips. All the while, Steve's mouth found her shoulders. His tongue moved across her skin, which was still sprinkled with drops leftover from her shower. His teeth dug in occasionally, causing Avery to whimper into Bucky's mouth as he kissed her feverishly.

Avery didn't realize how desperate her lungs were for oxygen until Bucky finally broke from her lips, a cheeky smirk remaining on his face.

He was certain of his answer but paused before continuing. "Is this okay, doll?"

Though Steve's hands had been busy tugging and twisting and pinching at her chest, he stilled to wait for her answer.

Avery just nodded, extending one hand back to find Steve's hair and the other went to Bucky's cheek. "Yes, this is more than okay."

Bucky let out a happy growl as she scratched at his jaw, then leaned towards her. His lips hovered above hers for a second, as if he was about to kiss her again then he quickly moved to his right, finding Steve and surprising him with a kiss instead. "Let's make our girl sing, Stevie."

Steve let out an agreeable moan, moving one of his hands to tug at Bucky's hair before he retreated. The other pulled on Avery's towel and stripped it away, tossing it across her room. It landed precariously, bounding off her window ledge and slinking to the floor.

"Hey, careful of the foliage, Steven," Avery commented with a giggle.

"I'll take full responsibility if one of your plants is harmed during sex," Steve responded quickly, moving his hands back to her chest and his mouth to her neck. He bit against her ear, then moved down toward her shoulders where he sucked and bit even more. Avery whimpered as the pain grew in a good way.

"Captain America likes to bite, huh," Avery said breathlessly.

While they continued, Bucky rid himself of most of his remaining clothes, leaning himself in just his boxers. He drew his tongue along Avery's midsection, continuing down towards her waist. He left wet kisses along the way, grabbing at her hips to bring her just a bit closer. He didn't waste anymore time, running his hands up and down her legs before landing between them. He was slow at first, a playful tease around her center. She tensed and whined in protest, straightening her legs out beside him.

Before Bucky could make a playful comment about her neediness, Steve sounded out. As he pinched her nipples, just hard enough to cause that _good pain_ , he moved his head beside hers. "Do you want Bucky to touch you, sweetheart?" Avery arched her back off the bed as Steve's fingers twisted. "Tell him."

Avery wasn't sure what came over her as Steve's voice echoed in her ear and Bucky's hands teased her. But she whimpered and clutched onto Steve's thighs, whining out her plea. "Touch me, Bucky. Please, please will you touch me?"

Bucky smirked, feeling himself grow harder as she nearly begged him. He answered with his hands, using his metal digits to slowly play with her as his right hand softly scratched along her thighs.

Steve looked across her towards Bucky and motioned down to her, allowing Bucky to move and grab her hip to bring her down the bed. This gave Steve room to shuffle off the bed.

"Don't go," Avery said in a panic, turning her head to watch Steve.

"Just felt overdressed, doll," Steve said with a sparkle in his eyes, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and shucking off his pants. Steve paused before returning to the bed, taking a moment to watch as Bucky worked his magic. Between his hands and mouth, it didn't take long for the intensity to grow in Avery. It was evident as her breathing picked up and her arms clutched at the sheets and Bucky's head. She moaned out his name, peppering in some unsavoury swear words as she became overwhelmed.

It was a beautiful sight. Steve palmed at himself through his boxer briefs, grinning as he took in this shared moment.

Bucky slowed down for a minute and pulled away to gaze up towards her. He smirked again then looked at Steve. "Do me a favour.." Bucky nudged his head towards Avery, who was close to her climax in the middle of the bed. "If you apply a bit of pressure to her neck, she'll lose it."

Steve narrowed his eyes in concern. "You want me to choke her?"

"Just.. gentle. But trust me." Bucky went right back at it, tongue, moving his tongue like a man starved.

Steve kneeled on the bed and leaned down to press a kiss against Avery, resting his left hand on the base of her neck. Before he could ask if it was okay, Avery brought her right hand up and landed on top of his, guiding him to her neck. Just as Bucky predicted, the quick moment of dominance and restricted airflow paired with his actions between her thighs caused her to shake and convulse as her orgasm engulfed her like a wave.

When Avery opened her eyes, catching her breath, she saw both Steve and Bucky grinning at her.

 _Idiots_.

Her idiots.

The idiots she loved.

"Thank you both for that," she mumbled out, cheeks flushing red.

"Anything for you, doll," Bucky said with a proud smile. "I have an idea." He squeezed her knee. "You ready for more?"

She opened one eye. "Yes, please."

Bucky looked over to Steve, who was kneeling beside Avery. They each smirked, then nodded.

No one said anything out loud but letting Bucky call the shots seemed to happen so easily, like they were both putty in his hand. Bucky moved off the bed and shed his boxers, encouraging Steve to do the same.

"Doll, c'mere. Hands and knees." Bucky sat at the top of the bed, where Steve had been then he directed Steve to the space behind her. "You're up, Stevie."

Avery shifted and crawled up towards Bucky as the bed sunk near her feet. Before she could say anything else, Steve was lining himself up behind her.

"You ready, sweetheart?" He pressed himself against her slick center, up and down.

Avery shifted her hips back to him, looking back and nodding as she chewed on her lip. "Please, Steve.. want to feel you." Her eyes clamped shut as he moved into her slowly, elbows shaking as she planted her hands on either side of Bucky's waist.

"Wow, what a view," Bucky commented as he watched them together, focusing especially on how Avery's face changed as she adjusted to Steve. The discomfort quickly evolved to pleasure. Bucky brought his hand up towards her mouth, running his right thumb across her lips. "Avery, baby, you like that, huh. Stevie makes you feel good?"

She uttered out a breathless agreement, gasping as Steve held onto her hips tightly and changed his pace.

Bucky pushed his thumb into Avery's mouth and she immediately began to suck on it, hard. The moment he pulled away, she leaned down and started doing the exact same thing with Bucky's length instead. His left hand reached to the side to grab onto the headboard while his right rested on the back of her head.

"No, this is a view," Steve echoed Bucky's previous statement with complete honesty. Steve wasn't the type for adult magazines or the readily accessible videos on the internet now but the fantasy playing out in front of him, a fantasy he didn't know he had, almost sent him over the edge. "Fuck." He let go of Avery's hip and brought his right hand up to his mouth, biting hard on his knuckle to stop himself from coming right then and there.

Bucky laughed as he watched him, breath picking up as Avery worked on him with her mouth and hands. This was all better than he dreamed.

When Bucky saw Steve bite his knuckle again, he took the lead.

"Avery, baby, c'mere." Bucky encouraged her to release him with a pop and Steve pulled out, sitting to rest on his knees.

Bucky guided her to straddle him as he flattened out on his back and Avery nearly came again just at the idea of switching so quickly between both of them. He moaned out, deep and growly, as she sunk onto him.

When she was crying in the shower earlier, this is not how Avery thought her night would go.

But the care and affection they were both giving her was everything she needed so shut down her doubts and worries. Everything else could wait because all that time they spent together on her bed made her forget.

She forgot about the doubts and insecurity, the fear and anxiety. All that mattered were mouths and hands and _soft_ and _hard_.

Avery collapsed herself on top of Bucky, pressing kisses against his mouth and jaw and down to his shoulder. She took her time especially at his left shoulder, where the metal sprawled into skin. She kissed his scars as he held onto her back, canting himself into her with intensity, letting praise after praise escape his mouth.

"All mine and Stevie's, babydoll."

"You're makin' us both feel so good."

"You like that he's watchin' us, huh. Make sure he can hear you, baby."

"You're incredible, Avery. You feel incredible."

She pushed herself up and took over eventually, raking her hands against Bucky's chest as she moved her hips against his. It was then she felt Steve's hands reaching for her from behind again and she looked down to see Bucky grinning like an idiot. Steve moved his hands down towards the sensitive spot between her legs and paced his fingers there.

"Come for us, sweetheart." Steve's breath was hot in her ear and she did just that, shaking and tightening on top of Bucky and Steve kissed her neck again, his hand moving rapidly between her thighs.

Bucky's release followed right after and he pulled her down, pressed against his chest as he groaned out her name. As soon as he slipped out, Steve reached for Avery's hips, pulling her back just enough, and entered her once more, moving in and out of her as she laid on top of Bucky. Steve's release came quickly, hands squeezing hard into her flesh as he finished.

Steve wrapped his arm around her waist as he shifted to lay beside Bucky on the bed, pulling her off his chest and nestled between them both instead. They all seemed to be taking a moment to catch their breath and let what had just happened sink in.

"That was.." Avery started, quietly. "Wow."

Bucky laughed, closing his eyes. "Yeah."

Steve pressed a kiss to Avery's back. "Agreed."

* * *

They wound up in Bucky's apartment. Bucky cooked dinner while Steve went to and from the basement laundry room with Avery.

Avery very quickly passed out on the couch when she was done eating and Bucky tucked her into his bed.

He found Steve sitting at his kitchen island, scrolling through some files on Bucky's laptop. Bucky leaned against his counter, watching as Steve went through the project notes.

"You know, they started to do a study last year with people who unvanished," Steve started slowly, closing the laptop and folding his arms on his chest. "Studies about post traumatic stress, the co-morbidity of mental health issues stemming from shock, how people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms while trying to figure their life out again."

Bucky nodded along as Steve spoke.

"We did the same thing when everyone.. vanished. The problem always narrows down to one thing - lack of resources for assistance. Someone like Avery, one of millions reappearing in this city alone, can fall through the cracks." Steve sighed, scrubbing a hand across his jaw. "What good is her seeing a counselor every two months? That won't help her if she's struggling with an anxiety disorder."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You think she.."

Steve gave him a soft smile. "I mean, I'm not a doctor. But.." He paused. "Look. When I came out of the ice, it was a huge shock to my system. This life is different than I remembered before and it took me a long time to figure things out. I would lash out or close myself off, throw everything into my work-

"Jump out of planes without a chute?"

"I was reckless, yes."

"I mean, that wasn't new."

"No, but I didn't give a damn. In the back of my mind, I was lost and empty and felt alone. Hell, even when I was searching for you - I'd go nights without sleeping because the research.. it gave me a purpose. Thank God I had Sam to talk some sense into me."

Bucky nodded again. That was a statement true for himself, too. He had plenty of time to adjust in Wakanda, sure. But all the starts and stops escalated and even when he started working with Sam, his own brain had been a challenge to get a hold of.

Sam's experience with the VA had proved helpful over and over, much to Bucky's annoyance. Even in the beginning as they worked on building trust as partners, Sam was patient with him yet delivered tons of tough love.

"They have all these terms and ways to diagnose people now. It's different compared to when we were kids. No one used the term anxiety - it was just chalked up to being nervous or worrying too much."

Bucky swallowed. He knew Avery was even more on edge than usual lately, but what had happened that afternoon was not doing her any favours either. "What do we do?"

Steve shrugged, turning his head for a moment to look back towards the bedroom. "Help her help herself."

For the sake of his own mind, Bucky asked to shelve the conversation for later and instead circle back to what else they knew about the Osborn situation.

"So, we know that the location in Flushing she visited with Will today is the same one me and Parker scoped out. They're treating that warehouse like a classified site." Bucky paced around quietly as Steve remained on the stool, taking notes. "They used it for delivering those weapons but when we got back there on Friday night, all of that evidence had disappeared. The inside was empty again. Why have all that secrecy if the building isn't doing any of the production?"

"It's right near the port. Maybe they are really just moving things in and out of there."

"They're also investing money in the renovations but only inside."

Steve narrowed his eyes as he thought. "It's intentionally left to look decrepit and abandoned then."

Bucky stopped and turned his head slightly, looking towards his bedroom. "They're definitely hiding something. Maybe she can tell us more about that research tomorrow." He didn't like the idea of involving Avery any further. He wanted her ties to Will Simon completely severed. He wanted to hide her away in a safe place, preferably protected by him and Steve.

But she might still have more information that could help.

Before Steve could express his agreement, they could hear a panicked Avery screaming from Bucky's bedroom.

* * *

When Avery woke up Thursday morning, curled up in Bucky's bed alone, it took some time to get her bearings.

She didn't remember falling asleep on the couch. Or Bucky carrying her to his bed.

But she did have some flash memories of screaming and hyperventilating and sobbing and shaking. The memories of a panic attack hit her like a punch in the stomach. She remembered seeing Steve's concerned face, feeling his arms wrapping around her as she shook. She remembered Bucky's calming words, instructing her to breathe in a certain way. She had a vague recall of them coaxing her to take a sleeping pill after she calmed down, a small dose of one of Bucky's special melatonin tabs, so she could finally rest.

She hesitated to open her eyes and look around Bucky's bedroom. The curtains were pulled closed but a stream of morning sunlight snuck through the middle seam. The duvet wrapped around her was a safe comfort but she longed for a real calming force. She sat up in the bed, raising a hand to run through her hair and she paused to listen.

She could hear both Bucky and Steve in the living room. After stretching her arms she swung her legs off the bed, darting her eyes around to find one of Bucky's sweatshirts to pull on. Quietly, she exited his room and headed towards the sound of their voices.

"You're awake." Bucky was quick to stand up from his seat on the couch and rush over to her, enveloping her into a hug. Avery sighed into his chest as he cradled her head. "How are you feeling?"

_Embarrassed. Exhausted. Broken. Scared._

_Safe._

"Like I'm running on empty," she replied quietly, smiling softly as Bucky kissed her forehead. He released her from his hold and she shuffled to plunk down on the couch beside Steve. He moved the computer from his lap and extended his arm out so she could shuffle in beside him. "I'm sorry for last night."

Bucky let out a long breath and shook his head. "Doll, if you apologize one more time for-

"Buck." Steve ran his hand up and down Avery's arm, giving Bucky a warning look.

Avery sighed. "Wait. What time is it? Shouldn't you both be at work?"

"It's just after 11. Our schedule is flexible," Steve answered. "We're going to the compound this afternoon."

"Wow. You really knocked me out last night, huh." Avery frowned. She knew it was just past midnight when she woke up and the panic attack found her.

"You needed the sleep, Ave," Bucky joined them on the couch, handing her a mug of coffee.

She had to agree with that. Admittedly, while she felt pretty out of it, she was at least _well rested._

They sat for a few moments in silence as Avery sipped her coffee. As the quiet minutes ticked by, her brain started to race. Her thoughts were all over the place, but as she continued to think about her panic the night before, she kept narrowing into one, repetitive idea: what if she somehow knew too much? What if all that stuff she did for Will - the research and note taking - put her in more danger than she realized?

"Wow." She let out a dry laugh, sitting forward on the couch to rest her mug on the table. "You two must think I'm a real idiot."

It was all coming back to her now.

"Avery." Steve's hand found her back. "We don't."

"How did I ever think taking cash under the table was a good idea? What if he uses that against me now?" She couldn't believe she was laughing again, but the sound that came out of her mouth was so foreign. It reverberated down to her stomach and she felt sick. "Nash used to always tell me I was naive. Jeremy said it was optimism." She closed her eyes. "It turns out, I'm just a big, dumb idiot."

There was another moment of silence when she finished her miniature rant. Eventually, all Avery could do was laugh. Then, Bucky was laughing too. And Steve.

"You're our big, dumb idiot, though." Bucky reached his arm over her, capturing her in a hold on his side and squeezing her playfully.

"Maybe let's switch that phrase to something nicer?" Steve shifted on the couch to look at them. "Beautiful, caring idiot?" Steve lunged over to get in on the unsolicited tickle fight that would soon lead into a wrestling match.

Avery's laugh sounded out through the living room and although neither of them said it out loud, it put both Bucky and Steve at ease. It was a tiny sign that maybe she was finally feeling a bit better.

"Okay, before you two get carried away," Steve said as he pulled away, watching Bucky nipping at Avery's neck. "You need to eat something." Steve grabbed for her hand to help her up off the couch. "Then after you get changed, we can head out."

"Out?" Avery's eyes narrowed as she took in a sharp breath. "Why?"

"Like I said, we're going to the compound. All of us." Bucky stood up too, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat. She hadn't thought about the outside world and life going on. In fact, she had turned her phone off yesterday afternoon and knew she likely had a ton of missed messages from the bridal party about the weekend events. And probably some from Will, too.

She couldn't even bear to think about going outside anywhere. More than anything, after last night, she was starting to worry something might trigger her anxiety and another panic attack.

Bucky drew his hand down her shoulder to grab her hand. "We don't want to leave you alone, doll."

Avery sighed. "So you're making this ' _Take Your Girlfriend To Work Day_ '?"

Steve leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Yes. And before you think to argue, no, it is not an inconvenience and no, you won't be in the way."

"I'm equally irritated and impressed you've figured out how to read my mind like that," Avery muttered out. She let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine. I need to go see Bea before we go, I owe her an apology. I was pretty snappy when I got home yesterday. And I want permission to nap in your office later."

"Permission granted."

* * *

The boardroom table was full of _everything_ they had relating to the Osborn family and Oscorp. Between the documents and file folders were coffee mugs, scraps of notes, and nervous hands skimming through everything. Steve, Bucky, Sam and Sharon were all crowded around the table. A small video feed of Clint was on the corner of one screen while photo montages and videos played through.

Bucky was trying to stay level headed and focused but his eyes kept drawing back to the glass wall dividing the boardroom and Steve's office. He could see the back of Avery's head as she rested on Steve's couch, with either a book or tablet in her lap. She was right there and she was safe, yet Bucky was watching her carefully.

"Still feels like this warehouse is a distraction," Clint's voice sounded out.

"I don't disagree," Sam added, taking a sip from his mug and glancing towards Steve and Bucky. "Didn't you say Avery has been there twice now? Maybe she saw something?"

"I'd rather keep Avery unattached to this," Steve said as he leaned back into his chair, eyes watching the screen.

"What's the problem with using her as a resource?" Clint asked.

Bucky ignored his question and turned to Sharon. "Did you have any luck with that contact in the Oscorp lab?"

Sharon sighed, folding her hands on the table. "Hardly. She was very tight lipped about her job duties and upcoming projects. But she did tell me they're having their big summer Gallery show in a few weeks."

"Gallery?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"It's part science fair, part fundraiser, part expo. They turn Oscorp into a grand open house, to try and be transparent with the public." Sharon paused. "I have heard, though, that it's typically a big distraction from the real stuff. Their money making projects."

"The things not for public eyes," Steve filled in the blanks. "Okay. Well, that's a good next step."

"Sounds like a big event," Bucky muttered out. "I'll bet they invite all their close friends. We need to have people there."

"Listen," Clint spoke up again. "If your girlfriend works for this Simon guy and was doing research for him, why haven't you asked her more questions? What's the harm?"

Bucky pursed his lips together as his mind flashed back to Avery cowering in her bathtub. "I don't want her involved."

"Bucky," Steve reached his hand to clamp on his shoulder. He was conceding. "Clint may have a good point. Maybe she can tell us more about those research docs." Steve stood up without waiting for Bucky's response and headed towards his office.

Steve opened the glass door and smiled at Avery as she turned her head towards him. "Hey Ave, could you join us in here?"

Avery swung her legs off the couch and stood, stretching out her arms. "Uh, sure."

She followed him in and took a vacant seat between Bucky and Sharon, eyes gazing all over the documents in front of her. They asked her a few questions to start, more so to hear from her perspective what she knew about Will Simon. She felt Bucky's hand find her knee as she talked.

She couldn't remember all the details about her research from before. Then, it dawned on her. She jumped up from her chair without warning and darted back towards her purse. She came back in and carefully placed the Oscorp memory drive on the table. She swallowed hard and glanced from Bucky to Steve as she sat down again.

"I told Will the drive was corrupt so I didn't have to look into this for him. So you all may as well see if there is anything valuable on it." She shrugged and pushed it towards Bucky.

He picked it up and looked closely at the white etched Oscorp logo.

"How do we know this isn't some trap?" Clint asked.

Avery's eyes shot over to the screen. "Trap?"

Clint raised an eyebrow. "I take it you trust this girl?"

Bucky's hand reached out to grab Avery's forearm to stop her before she spoke. "Yes, Barton. Avery's involvement has been coincidental."

Sharon nodded. "Okay. What was the research you did before?"

Avery shrugged again. "It was just raw lab data from clinical trials for what I think is some inhalant they're developing out of slag from a metal. Most of it was redacted but if this is coming directly from Oscorp, maybe it'll be untouched this time."

Steve let out a long breath and reached for the drive from Bucky. He tapped a few times on a small panel on the table, causing a space to open up for him to plug in the drive. "Well, let's see what we're working with here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaaaay, seems like everything is all on the table now. Finally. This chapter had a lot of everything (Stefon voice): romcom like banter, almost bad guys, emotional breakdowns, honest truths, sam using the word throuple, our new throuple getting it on, a call for help, steps to move forward against the almost bad guys. whew. i think that covers it. what a ride, folks. sorry for packing it all in. also.. the name of the story straight outta Avery's mouth.
> 
> thank you - THANK YOUUU - to everyone who is here reading along, favouriting, subscribing, commenting, everything! it means so much to me.
> 
> next up: uhm, oh right. Don't forget you're planning a bachelorette party for your sister, Avery. And quitting your job? in this economy?


	22. Truth

Bucky often thought back to his time in Wakanda fondly.

But there were times there, in the midst of trying to heal his mind, his soul and his heart, that he experienced confusing, gut wrenching emotions. Shuri reminded him he was learning to be a human again. It had been a long, long time since he understood what happiness was. Or joy. Or sadness. Or shame.

He remembered how they came in waves - consuming him sometimes one at a time and in other instances, all at once. He would laugh until he cried, then he would sob and pull his hair in sorrow. He would grow angry and overwhelmed, throwing punches in the forest and letting his voice echo through the valley. Happiness would wash over him when he got a message from Steve, only to send him into a deep depression of pain when he remembered everything about his past.

He worked hard every day to let his emotions run their course. They were allowed to exist. He was a human being and he was allowed to have emotions.

Steve reminded him of that.

Avery stood at his side, not entirely understanding of it all but _there_. Two constants keeping him grounded.

Sitting in the boardroom with the team, consolidating all the information they had and matching it with details from the research provided by Avery, Bucky was taken back to those recovery days. A series of emotions were hitting him all at once and he was on edge.

 _Relief._ They had answers to questions that were going to help them complete this task: take down whoever is manufacturing and moving illegal weapons.

 _Fear._ Was he going to be able to keep Avery out of this moving forward? Could Bucky and Steve really assure her safety?

 _Worry._ There were too many variables out of their control still. Questions still went without answers.

His metal fingers tapped on the table anxiously as everyone scanned through the data. As everyone's voices started to overlap, he felt Avery's hand on his knee. He glanced over and met her eyes. On her face was a soft, understanding smile.

 _Contentment._ Avery was okay. She was right beside him. She was helping.

Steve returned to the room, pausing to hand Avery a bottle of water and give her shoulder a squeeze. He wanted to kiss her forehead, to say thank you for her patience and help and being there, but figured it wasn't the most professional thing in front of the team.

"So. Let's break this down." Sam sighed and leaned forward, pressing his finger onto the table. "They're manufacturing weapons out of this synthetic, reproduced metal compound. Then shipping them concealed in some fancy ass concrete."

Steve returned to his chair and nodded. "Yes."

"Then they're using the run off, the remains from the melted sleytium-

Avery looked to Sam. "Slag."

"Sure. They're using the slag to aid in production of a chemical inhalant."

Bucky huffed. "An inhalant that seems to -" He paused to refer to the notes on the screen. "Increase agility, dexterity, strength and speed - temporarily."

Avery scanned her eyes over the research files. That summary was better than she could have done. And it was all true. All the research documents indicated successful trials of this strange inhalant, nicknamed _300x._ But what concerned her most is there were no notes about side effects. She couldn't imagine inhaling an adapted metal run off, combined with other steroids and chemicals, were _good_ for the body.

Sharon sighed. "Well, Oscorp really is sticking to their mandate of being environmentally conscious by utilizing the slag instead is sending it into our water system." She leaned back in her chair and glanced around the room. "This is good. We know exactly _what_ they're producing at least."

"But if they're not doing it at the Oscorp labs, where are they making it?"

Bucky blinked hard and narrowed his eyes towards the table. He grabbed a few photos that were stacked in the middle. They were from the night he and Peter watched the warehouse.

Avery leaned over and pointed at the photo on top. "That warehouse has an elevator."

"What?" Bucky dropped the photo and reached through the papers for a blueprint. "It doesn't."

Avery sighed. "I swear it does. The first time I was there with Will, it was very clearly on display." She pointed to a wall on the end of the building. "It's right there."

Steve reached over and grabbed the blueprints. "Huh. Structurally it could support a service elevator. It has the support beams in place." He squinted at the photo in Bucky's hands then back to Avery. "You're sure?"

She sighed, trying not to feel irritated by their doubting tones. "Yes. Big industrial door with a shiny light up button and keypad to the side for access." She shrugged and pointed to the photo once more. "They must have hidden it somehow. I don't know. You're the experts."

Clint's laugh echoed from the speakers. "Secret underground lab. Of course."

"It makes sense if Oscorp doesn't want to be the sole manufacturer involved. Plus, this is teetering on the edge of unethical if they're planning on selling this inhalant to the highest bidder." Steve pursed his lips for a moment. "Everything I found about Karl Malus aligns, too. His previous connections include IGH - which specialized in 'reconstructive surgery' otherwise known as ethically questionable human experiments. Records show him as MIA for a while but maybe Osborn has been keeping him under the radar."

Avery just nodded along as they talked. This was an overwhelming amount of information that she probably should not have been privy to. Truthfully, as the details were revealed she was feeling even more _stupid_ about the activities she had done with Will. She chewed on her lip anxiously as she sat there, wishing she could just leave and go hide out under Steve's desk. She pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her messages. She had quite a few she needed to reply to, regarding Lora's party, but it was the handful from Will she was more concerned about.

Will: _hope you're feeling better, Avery.  
_ Will: _I realize hearing that car backfire yesterday must have been jarring but keep in mind everything that happens on that job site is to be kept strictly confidential. We can discuss Monday. Please return that storage drive._

Avery closed her eyes and grumbled to herself, quietly placing her phone down on the table and nudging Bucky with her elbow. He turned his head and followed her eyes to her phone screen. As his eyes scanned the message, he swore under his breath.

"Oh, come on." Steve huffed out as Bucky showed him the phone.

"I swear it was a gunshot, not a backfiring vehicle." Avery was quickly on the defense as she looked from Bucky to Steve. "And there was a security guard and his hardhat and.."

She trailed off, closing her eyes tight.

"Hey," Bucky turned his chair to face her. "We believe you, Ave." He reached for her hand to steady her racing nerves. "But this is exactly why you aren't working there anymore. You're right that Will is spineless and I don't think he can be trusted."

"Wait. She quit her job?" Clint asked. "Listen, I get where you're coming from but don't you think it'll be helpful to have someone on the inside. Clearly Will Simon is fond of her."

"I don't give a shit about Will Simon," Bucky turned to look at Clint on the screen, his voice coming out as a growl. "Avery is not to be involved any further in this."

"Woah, woah," Clint brought his hands up, as if to admit his innocence. "Dial it back, soldier. I'm just trying to look at this from all the angles."

Bucky's eyes moved from the screen to Sam and Sharon, who were also exchanging a glance. "What?"

Sharon took in a deep breath and met Bucky's gaze. "I think Clint has a point."

"No," Bucky let go of Avery's hand. "No way."

Avery looked around the room as an argument unfolded about _her._ She felt incredibly uncomfortable and though she tried to jump in, the voices continued to overlap. Eventually, she sighed and stood up. "Hello? Do I get a say in this?"

They all turned to her.

Steve nodded and his " _yes"_ came out at the same time Bucky said " _no."_

"I realize you don't trust Will and you think my safety is at risk, but if my working there can help you end all of this.." Avery motioned her hand at the table and screens. "Maybe I should keep -

Bucky cut her off. "Absolutely not."

As Avery huffed, Sharon stood up and placed her hand on Sam's shoulder. "Let's go grab a coffee." Clint found his own reason to disconnect as Sharon and Sam left the boardroom, leaving Steve, Bucky and Avery alone to chat.

Avery fell back into the chair and sighed, arms crossed. Steve stood up and moved to sit on her right while Bucky remained in the chair on her left.

"Before you two start, can I present my case?" Avery offered them both a small smile as she tangled her hands in her lap. She was determined not to cry.

"Go ahead," Steve said with a wave of his hand, matching her smile. Bucky remained quiet, arms crossed over his chest. His silence was approval enough for her to continue.

"I get that you're both worried about me, especially because of how you found me in such an emotional state yesterday, beyond mental breakdown. Just one night after the anxiety attack."

Bucky tilted his head. "And then the panic attack."

"Yes and then I also had a panic attack. All fair concerns." Avery sighed once more. She didn't love her distress being monitored and tracked. "This is a lot. All of this." Her eyes moved to the table and the large screen across from them. "I know I'm not a trained assassin or.. superhero, but I think I could help now that I know what I know. And given my relationship with Will, where I've clearly already just accepted the terrible things about him, I have showed him some strange loyalty so-

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Avery, he tried to blackmail you."

"Whatever!" She let out a long breath. "If I just keep my head down and stay working there, maybe it'll be helpful? Until you have a plan or solution. I know for a fact that I can get on the guest list for the Oscorp Gallery event considering how often Simonarc works with them. I've been in and out of Will's office too, he's likely dumb enough to leave documents in there that might help." She looked from Bucky to Steve and back again.

The boys shared a glance for a few seconds, clearly doing that thing where they talk without actually speaking.

Avery chewed on her lip as they _didn't talk_ \- waiting patiently for the blow up. Then, Steve spoke.

"I don't love the idea of you continuing work alongside Will but you made a lot of good points." He paused, closing his eyes for a moment. "I want it to be clear that this situation is not something we are taking lightly so whether or not you stay there to work and help us has to be a group decision. Between all three of us." Steve opened his eyes and looked towards Bucky.

"I feel like I'm backed up in a corner here," Bucky replied with a sigh, standing up from his chair. He started to pace around the room.

Admittedly, it likely would help to have Avery on the _inside._ But after preaching about her wellbeing for so long, he was incredibly nervous he was going to put her at risk. He muttered to himself under his breath, crossing his arms as he weighed the options.

"Bucky," Avery stood the same and followed him across the room. She grabbed his right arm and forced him to turn and look at her. "It's a unanimous decision, not a majority vote. I don't wanna fight about this. I just want you both to _hear me_ when I say I am willing to keep this job and help you." She snaked her hands around his waist and he begrudgingly unfolded his arms to hug her back.

"Fine. I'm okay with you keeping your job. For right now." Bucky moved his hands up and down her back. "Stevie?"

Steve shifted in his seat and smiled at them. "I'm also okay with it. Under a few conditions."

Avery turned, pressing her back to Bucky's chest as they faced Steve. Bucky locked her shoulders under his arms. "That's fair."

"You only work in the office. No more visits with Will. I have a feeling he'll agree to that given everything that has already happened." Steve stood up and headed towards them. "And if something suspect happens and there is a concern, you're quitting. No questions asked."

A strong urge to roll her eyes washed over Avery but she just nodded after he finished.

Bucky rested his head on Avery's, squeezing her tight. "And I'm reinstalling that tracker on your phone. Just in case." He paused. "If you're okay with that, I mean. Uh. I'm asking you if.. not telling."

Avery laughed and tilted her head to look back at him as he fumbled with his words. "Okay. That's fine. I agree with all of this. I truthfully don't want to work there anymore so when this is all over, I want to find a new job anyway."

Steve walked over and stopped in front of them, grabbing Avery's hands in his and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Really proud of you both for not raising your voice during this whole discussion."

"Wow, have a little faith in us, maybe," Avery said with a laugh, leaning back into Bucky.

"I'm saving my energy for later," Bucky replied with a smirk, moving his hands and running them slowly up Avery's arms.

"What's later?" Steve raised an eyebrow, matching his smirk.

"Sleepover in your bed. I figure we make Avery's sex dream a reality?"

Avery giggled. "I would like that." She met Steve's gaze with a playful smile. "Although I think we all know Bucky just likes any opportunity to be in charge."

Bucky let out an exaggerated groan. "Oh, are you complaining? Is that a complaint?" He grabbed her waist and squeezed, pulling her closer against him. "Hey Stevie. Didja know this one also dreams about being tied up?"

Steve raised his eyebrows again, cheeks turning pink at the idea. "I think this is a conversation for the bedroom, not the boardroom."

Avery raised an eyebrow. "But what if I also dream about things.. happening in a boardroom?"

"Lots of glass walls, doll," Bucky rasped in her ear.

Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "I think you two need a time out. Or a cold shower."

* * *

Bucky dropped Steve and Avery off in Brooklyn early Friday morning before he headed out to the compound to meet up with Sam.

They had crashed at Steve's the previous night and while Avery enjoyed any morning she got to wake up with both her boys, she had no close or personal items at Steve's apartment. So, despite her insistence that she could just take the subway home to shower and change and do what she needed to at home, Steve came with her.

They had a perfectly nice morning, though. They tested out whether or not two people could fit in her shower - it was tight but neither of them seemed to mind. Avery finished off some planning and crafting she needed to do before the bachelorette party then she dragged Steve across the hall to spend time with Bea, too.

Then, It turned out that Friday was also ' _Take Your Girlfriend To Work Day.'_ They took the subway up to the Manhattan office in the afternoon. Though Avery really wanted to stay home, Steve had been pretty insistent he needed her help with something.

Avery could see right through him.

It was very clear to her that neither Steve nor Bucky felt comfortable leaving her alone. Which she appreciated because truthfully, after the rollercoaster of emotions she had been dealing with all week, _alone_ probably wouldn't do her any good. But, she was having a hard time not feeling like a burden to them both.

They had rearranged parts of their last few days to cater to her and while she didn't ask them to, she still felt a weird sense of guilt in the back of her mind. Like she was inconveniencing them or something.

"I've got a conference call in about ten minutes," Steve started as they headed down the elevator to the underground floors at Stark Plaza. "But, there's something I need your help with. Do you remember how I told you I had that file about Bucky's family?"

Avery glanced towards Steve from her place under his arm as the elevator doors opened. He grabbed her hand in his and they started through the hallways towards his office.

"I do, yeah." She smiled at him. "Need my sleuthing skills?"

Steve smirked as he let go of her hand inside his office. "Something like that." Steve left Avery sitting at his desk, a large file folder of documents and photos spilling out across it.

When Steve first came out of the ice, he spent a lot of time researching about the past. It felt like a bit of a trap and he often found himself stuck in a cycle of remorse and regrets. Even though he couldn't control his circumstances, he longed for something to connect himself to his old life. His own family history had been a stark dead end but he slowly tried to seek out information about his _other family_ \- Bucky's family.

As an only child to a single mother, Steve spent many days of his life at the Barnes household. Even though they had enough mouths to feed without him, there was always a spot at their table. Bucky's younger sisters and brother were like siblings to Steve, too. He was always welcome and he had always been so grateful for that love and support.

One of the first things Steve did after Bucky fell from the train was send a telegram to Mr. and Mrs. Barnes - explaining in great detail Bucky's heroism and the deep sadness Steve felt without his best friend. He always regretted he wasn't able to see his extended family again and looking into the history of their lives was a good way to bring peace to the complicated situation.

Avery was impressed in Steve's thorough research so far. He had traced out an elaborate family tree that accounted for each of Bucky's siblings and their families, save for a few empty spots. He had collected any piece of news or photos that mentioned any name and a few social media profiles. That's where Avery took over - since she knew for a fact that _Grandpa Steve_ didn't care for apps or social media or anything like that, she figured she could pick up where he left off and see who she could find.

When Steve returned to his office following his call then another meeting, he found Avery in the exact same spot at his desk. She had one leg pulled up on the chair, hugging it to her chest as she leaned forward and scrolled on the laptop in front of her. She was aimlessly running a hand through her hair as she thought, pausing to type a few things every now and then. He watched her from the doorway for a few seconds, smiling to himself.

Avery looked up when she sensed someone at the door and shot Steve a smile. "Hey." She pulled her arms up to stretch as he walked towards her. "I have so much to tell you!"

He raised an eyebrow as he walked over, pausing beside her and looking at the computer screen. "Wow, I feel like you had more success today than I have in years."

"Just gotta know where to look, Cap," Avery replied with a smirk. She pointed at the screen. "I found this."

Steve leaned forward slightly to read what she was showing him then he nodded. "Next weekend, huh?"

"Way up in Jersey though. We could make a little road trip out of it?" Avery turned in the chair to look at Steve more directly. "If you think Bucky would go for it."

Steve seemed to hesitate. "Well, I'm certain he would be on board with a road trip. But the question is whether or not we should surprise him with the destination."

* * *

After spending the remainder of her afternoon getting lost in discussions with Bruce, Steve tore Avery away from the lab to head out and meet up for dinner with Bucky. They walked hand in hand to Steve's favourite nearby diner and just as they approached, Avery got a phone call from her sister.

"I'll meet you inside, okay?"

Steve gave her a quick kiss on the forehead then headed inside, leaving her just outside the door as she answered the phone. He found Bucky seated in a booth near the front window, cup of coffee in hand.

"She's just on the phone with Lora," Steve answered Bucky's raised eyebrows as he slid into the booth, motioning outside the window.

Despite the clear evidence that Avery was feeling a lot better following the events of the last few days, Bucky still had an underlying sense of worry. He turned his head to the right and saw her pacing outside on the sidewalk and felt a bit better.

"She's been perfectly fine today," Steve continued, catching Bucky's concerned gaze. "I practically had to drag her out of the lab. I'm sure Bruce would have been perfectly content having her helping him for the afternoon."

Bucky smiled, thinking of Avery tinkering away in the lab with Bruce, droning on about some experiment or peppering rapidfire questions as they worked through sometime. That was a version of Avery that seemed so effortlessly real and he longed for the days ahead where she could find that Avery again.

Bucky and Steve started to catch up on their days while they waited, each of them carefully keeping their eye on Avery as she finished up outside. She walked in and found them shortly after, a disgruntled look on her face. Bucky stood and let her slide in beside him, leaning to press a kiss against her cheek as she grabbed her menu.

Avery muttered under her breath as she looked at the options on the menu, then tore her eyes upwards to see both Steve and Bucky staring at her.

Clearly she was doing a shit job containing her emotions following her call with her sister.

Bucky grabbed her hand as it rested on the table. "What's going on, doll?"

Avery sighed, dramatically. "I'm trying really hard to be level headed because it is _Lora's bachelorette party_.." She took a deep breath. "My god, this is so petty."

Avery wanted to try this thing where she just explained how she was feeling and _why._ Bucky's words about how she wasn't always honest with him and Steve echoed through her mind and she owed it to herself to just explain herself. She didn't have to bottle it up when they were both willing to listen.

It was hard to find a justification for her feelings when the two people sitting with her had much bigger things to deal with - now and in the past.

How could she explain her dumb, irrational thoughts about her sister's bachelorette party when she had spent the afternoon digging into research about her boyfriend's lost family. In the grand scheme, some things just didn't have the same weight and it was hard to pull out her words.

"My life problems really pale in comparison to you two, you know that, right? You've fought in wars and defeated aliens and track down bad guys for a living. You've lost years of your life. I have a hard time believing you want to hear about all this silly stuff in my life."

"Sweetheart," Steve sighed and shot her a soft smile.

Every time Steve smiled _like that_ Avery felt her knees get weak.

"Consider that Buck and I have lost a lot of time to these big, other worldly issues. Yes, we _lost a lot of time_ but we also missed out on the little things."

Bucky nodded. "Ave, we never got to worry about the mundane, silly stuff before. We finally have time to - so trust us when we say we want to hear about it and help you out, if we can." He reached his right arm over to pull her towards him. "I had to discuss tactical plans with Sam all day. It was exhausting and so boring - _sorry, Stevie_ \- so whatever you need to complain about, it'll be like a palate cleanser."

Avery closed her eyes and indulged Bucky's embrace for a few long moments. "Okay, _fine._ If you're willing to let me whine -

Bucky squeezed her close. "Don't we always?"

Luckily a waitress stopped by to take their order before Avery could quip back at him. After they ordered - a burger and fries for Bucky, a Reuben for Steve and a waffle with strawberries for Avery - she let out a long exhale and propped her head up on the table with one elbow.

"Lo was calling to tell me she and Allie got to the city safely and were off to their hotel. Then, just before we hung up she decided to sneak in the fact that she invited Crystal to the party tomorrow." Avery closed her eyes. "And I can't argue with her since it's _her_ party but she didn't even consider how this might be for anyone else."

Avery was being selfish - but she didn't want to lead with that. Crystal was her former best friend, after all. She didn't want to see her or talk to her or anything related to her yet her sister just put her in that exact uncomfortable position.

Bucky looked over towards Steve, trading glances as they were both trying to figure out if they should know who Crystal was. They were both supposed to be supportive boyfriends who listened and maybe they hadn't remembered this person.

Steve swallowed a gulp of his coffee and titled his head. "Who's Crystal?"

Avery sat up straight, glancing from Steve to Bucky. He looked just as lost. "Oh. I guess I haven't.." She trailed off. "Never mind." She waved her hand as if to dismiss it all and sunk into the booth, carefully adjusting her cutlery as if it was the most important thing in the world.

"Nope. No _never mind_ this time." Bucky shifted to look at her, reaching his hand to gently tilt her head up again. "Start at the beginning, doll."

Avery sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. She glanced between them again, as if to ask _are you sure?_ And they both just nodded, eyes wide and attentive.

"Okay. I'll indulge you," Avery said, trying to deflect from her uncomfortable feeling with a humorous tone. "Remember when you came and fixed my smoke detector?" She paused, letting a smile grow across her lips at the memory. That was the day everything seemed to change. "I told you when I _unvanished_ I appeared back in the apartment I shared with my boyfriend at the time, Seth, and his new wife and their baby. That new wife was Crystal." She closed her eyes again, letting all the traces of a smile disappear completely. "Crystal was my oldest friend. We met when she moved to town in sixth grade and despite some ups and downs, our friendship seemed everlasting. Until.. well, that."

Avery let out a long breath. "I know it seems so stupid to be mad at her but.. I don't even know how to explain it. I just can't help but feel so deeply hurt and frustrated when I think about that day. Before I understood what was happening and before they realized why I was suddenly standing in _their_ kitchen.. all I can remember in my mind is the two of them smiling at _their_ daughter, not a care in the world as they share this happy life together." She paused, looking down at her water glass as she slowly dragged her fingers along the condensation. "Then things unraveled rather disastrously so I will cut off the story there."

Avery remembered collapsing to the floor that day, anger and confusion and sadness hitting her like a semi truck. She remembered Seth rushing over to her, helping her off the ground, _cradling her face_ as if she wasn't real. Their baby started to cry as chaos unfolded outside, loud traffic and crashing sounding out as half the population suddenly reappeared.

It took a long time to understand and accept what had happened. But Avery made a conscious decision to keep her distance from Crystal and Seth, because she didn't want to deal with her anger or pain and it was easier to just file it away, back in the recesses of her mind.

"Why would your sister invite her to the party tomorrow?" Steve asked cautiously, trying to tread carefully.

Avery opened her eyes wide and sighed. "Because Lora and Crystal bonded over the five year gap. So I guess they're friends? I don't know."

Avery knew that was part of the reason why she was so angry still - Crystal found comfort in Avery's boyfriend and Avery's sister. If she dug deep enough, she would have to question why she was so jealous about that...

Bucky was uncertain about what to say. Hearing Avery explain herself was helpful to understand why she'd been harboring such anger for so long. Though she tried to hide it, it escaped her in short bursts at times. He remembered that day at the market when Seth had spotted himself and Avery - though she didn't introduce him or explain her relationship, Bucky had figured it out.

_She was hurt._

Though Bucky could only assume her ex-boyfriend and old friend hadn't meant to cause her any pain, it would be hard to let herself find a resolution if she was ignoring all her feelings about it.

"That's tough, doll," Bucky finally said, letting his hand find her knee under the table.

"I just don't think I'm ready to see her."

"That's understandable," Steve added in. "Your entire life changed before your eyes. They had five years to adjust and you had to face it all at once."

Of course Steve knew that first hand - it wasn't his place to mention it, especially when he knew his girlfriend was upset, but he understood where her ex-boyfriend and old friend were coming from. Steve himself tried for so long to hold on hope that he could have his loved ones back and when he faltered, he leaned on the people close to him.

They were all hanging onto shreds of hope and he knew that was one of the only things that helped him survive.

"What are your options here, Ave?" Bucky drew his thumb in circles across her knee.

"As much as I think I even have options, it's not fair to Lora if I act any of them. She invited Crystal. It's her party. So I'm going to have to just suck it up and play nice, I guess. It's one night. Then I can return to pretending Crystal and Seth and their perfect little life don't exist."

Steve sighed. "Do you want to do that? Maybe this is an opportunity to move forward."

Avery resisted rolling her eyes. She knew Steve had her best interests at heart. But to her, he didn't understand. He couldn't, really.

"Stevie has a point, doll." Bucky brought his left hand up to scrub against his jaw. "Sounds like you had a lot of history with her. I'm sure she misses you."

Bucky could only assume Avery missed her old friend, too.

"It still feels fresh, in a way." Avery was quiet as she continued. "Isn't that weird?" She turned her gaze to Steve. "You were in the ice for 70 years but it felt like -

"No time at all." Steve finished her sentence. He felt that all too well. He looked over to Bucky who was blinking away his own memories of gaps in time.

"And when you snapped back Buck.. and life was completely different.. Didn't it feel unfair?"

Was _unfair_ the word she wanted to use?

Bucky just nodded his head slightly - a lot of things in his life could be categorized as unfair. Finally seeing Steve again in Wakanda then snapping out of existence.. Coming back to life only to _fight_ another fight..

"I just wish there was an easy answer," Avery continued quietly. "Like I know the right thing to do is just.. forgive and forget or whatever. But I just can't even think about starting that conversation with her." She tangled her hands together in her lap. "But, I will at least be civil towards her tomorrow. Maybe even.. stand beside her in a group photo. Baby steps, right?"

"You've gotta start somewhere, sweetheart," Bucky said with a nod. "Try not to start a fist fight, though."

Avery laughed, nudging him with her elbow. "Crystal and I have only ever fought with our words and passive aggressive platitudes. You know, normal girl stuff."

"Meanwhile this guy just tries to settle things with me in his boxing gloves these days," Steve laughed with her, pointing his finger at Bucky.

Bucky rolled his eyes, swatting away Steve's hand. "You ran away to Iceland to avoid your feelings, Stevie."

"Hey. At least we're all working on our communication skills, right?" Avery leaned into Bucky again and reached out for Steve's hand across the table. "I would like to never leave you two grovelling outside my door ever again. It broke my heart."

"Was tough bein' on the other side of that door, too," Bucky replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Their food arrived just a few moments later and luckily just being together seemed to ease all of the tension away. For the rest of the night, all Avery needed to think about was either stealing fries or onion rings off of their plates and whose hand to hold as they walked back to the Jeep.

* * *

Saturday seemed to fly by and before Avery could even stop to take a breath, she was at Steve's apartment decorating the rooftop for the bachelorette party. It was looking like a clear evening ahead - warm air breezed gently as Steve helped Avery adjust the string lights on the patio area, listening patiently as she and Kasey double checked their lists and generally talked about nothing as they worked.

Sam and Bucky joined them on the roof too, carrying a large basin filled with ice, canned seltzer drinks and a few bottles of champagne.

"So we went with Bucky to his yoga class today," Avery paused to adjust her dress, turning to her cousin.

Bucky groaned and shook his head, standing a few feet away with Sam. "Avery, _let it go_."

Steve laughed, dropping down onto one of the couches as he looked between Bucky and Avery.

"I just want an outside opinion!" Avery narrowed her eyes as she smirked at Bucky. "Since Sam and Kasey are here, they can weigh in."

Sam raised his hands up. "I feel like this won't end well."

"Bucky's yoga teacher was hitting on him and -

"No, she wasn't." Bucky shook his head again. "Josie is just nice." He shrugged. "She's a friend."

Avery couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, buddy."

"Let me be unbiased here," Kasey jumped in. "I've flirted with my fair share of men and women before. I'm a flirting expert." She slowly brought up her hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, turning her head and winking towards Sam. "He can vouch for me."

"I'm staying out of this," Sam said quickly, trying to hide his smile as he sat beside Steve.

"We talked for two minutes," Bucky continued to defend himself. "She asked me about my plans for the weekend and -

Avery let out a dramatic groan. "She touched your arm!"

"Ehhhh, not flirting," Kasey nodded along. "Affectionate, yes. But you've known her for a while?"

"I've been in her class for a while," Bucky replied.

Kasey nodded, conclusively. "Not flirting."

"She also giggled, adjusted the top of her shirt -

"Why does that matter?"

"If I'm hitting on someone, I'm going to touch _myself_ where I want them to touch me," Avery said, walking towards Bucky. "You know.." She slowly traced her fingers across the top of her chest that was exposed in her black dress. Then she moved her hand across her skin up towards her neck. "And if I do it, I want you to watch."

Kasey laughed as Bucky bit his lip. "That's flirting."

Bucky tilted his head down to look at Avery. She was baiting him on purpose, not that he minded. With a sharp inhale he licked his lips, lowering his voice. "I think you were just jealous, doll."

Avery scoffed, cheeks flushing pink at his accusation.

Of course she was jealous of the cute, flexible, outgoing woman in yoga pants who was hitting on her boyfriend. It was one of the first instances she had ever felt such a flair of irritation and possessiveness for her relationship with Bucky.

She stood in a stare down with him for a moment then shuffled to look at Steve. "You were there, too. She was hitting on him, right?"

"I'm not taking sides here," Steve said quickly. "But you've always told me Josie is a flirt, Buck."

"Ha!" Avery clapped her hands in defeat. "Thank you."

"Not taking sides my ass, punk," Bucky muttered out, sending a playful glance towards Steve. Before Avery could say anything else, Bucky had wrapped his arms around her. He kissed along her jaw and nipped at her ear before pulling away. "The jealous thing works for me, Ave."

"Stop," she giggled, pushing off his chest. She leaned in and kissed his lips quickly then turned to grab Kasey's hand as they headed towards the rooftop door.

"I'm not really sure I understand the concept of a bachelorette party," Steve stretched his arm out over the back of the couch as Bucky took a seat at his side.

"This seems tame," Sam said, waving a hand to the décor Avery had laid out across the roof. There was a table set up with some snacks and the drinks, a few props and buttons ready for wearing and some card games ready to be played.

Avery, with Kasey's help, had planned a perfectly reasonable evening for Lora and the rest of the invited guests. The theme was just Little Black Dress and after wine and games and laughs, their plan was just to head out to a piano bar and maybe somewhere to dance. If Lora wanted to, of course. Avery was going to let her sister do most of the dictating for how the night would go but just wanted everyone to have a good time.

"I have a cousin who was married years ago and her bachelorette was a mess," Sam continued with a laugh. "Lets just say there were plenty of strippers and questionable activities."

"Back in our day, dames just had dinner for their hen night," Bucky added in, shifting in his seat. "Though I guess back then we didn't really have a woman marryin' a woman either."

"It is nice that you can just love whoever you want now," Steve said with a small smile, letting his hand rub against Bucky's neck.

Much to Avery's excitement, all three of the boys had actually been invited to go hang out with Allie and her friends for _her_ bachelorette event. While Lora had insisted on a small scale girls night, Allie just wanted to do a pub crawl around some spots on the Lower East Side. Admittedly, it didn't sound like a half bad evening. Steve insisted on hanging out for a while and driving Avery and all the girls to their bar before meeting up with Allie's group.

Bucky and Sam headed out the second Avery and Kasey said they didn't need anymore help. Bucky did pull Avery into Steve's room for an inappropriate, handsy make out session before they disappeared.

Before heading back to the roof, Avery stood in front of Steve in his kitchen. Kasey headed down to the lobby to wait for everyone else.

"You know, we could just take a few Ubers tonight. You don't have to stay and chauffeur."

"I don't mind, sweetheart," Steve said with a smile, pulling her into his arms and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He and Bucky were both still on edge, even though a girls night was harmless and Avery would be with a group of people in well populated areas. It would put him at ease knowing where she was going and making sure she got there safely.

Avery hummed happily as she rested her head on his chest for a few extra moments.

"You alright?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just.. mentally preparing myself for the evening ahead."

"I'll be hiding out down here if you need a break." Steve's tone was so understanding and easy.

Avery was grateful.

"Thank you. Wish me luck!" She tipped onto her toes and kissed Steve, whimpering slightly as he bit at her lip. She sighed as she pulled away, not before Steve grabbed onto her ass for an extra moment.

Avery smirked as she walked away from him and exited through his door, heading to the stairs leading to the roof.

She could handle the evening ahead. It was just seven hours of entertainment. Plus, it was her little sister and their friends. It would be easy and maybe Avery would even have _fun_. She scrubbed her hand over her jaw, adjusting the sleeves on her dress and running her fingers through her wavy curls.

Just seven hours. Or 14 thirty minute blocks. 420 minutes.

It was going to be easy. Avery repeated the mantra to herself as she set up the wireless speakers on the roof, adjusting the drink glasses and taking a bite of some of the food laid out.

Easy.

She smiled excitedly as the group of girls walked onto the rooftop behind Kasey. It wasn't until she heard the familiar laughter that Avery's heart caught in her throat and suddenly the seven hours ahead seemed like climbing a mountain. Standing at the back of the group in conversation with Lora stood a beautiful blonde, dressed in a strapless black crop top and matching skirt. It was risque but she pulled it off so effortlessly.

"Avery!" The blonde pushed ahead of the other girls and was pulling Avery into a hug.

"Oh, oh, we're hugging. Okay. Hey Crystal," Avery muttered into the girl's shoulder, awkwardly pushing away from her old friend. "It's nice to see you."

"No, it's _wonderful_ to see you, Ave," Crystal smiled wide, hands resting on Avery's shoulders to keep her at a safe distance. She looked Avery up and down, letting out a long exhale. "I was so worried this was going to be awkward but it already feels like old times, don't you think?"

Avery took in a sharp breath and forced a smile. "I think... I need a drink."

"Wait. So who owns this place?" Asha did a slow turn as she took in the views across the roof.

"Avery's boyfriend," Kasey said with a smirk.

"Her boyfriend's _friend_ ," Lora corrected her cousin, giving her a confused glance.

"Right. Yes. Steve." Avery said quickly, waving her hand at Kasey. "If you need to use the washroom, just knock on his door downstairs."

It wasn't that Avery was ashamed or embarrassed about her relationship. She was over the moon happy to be dating Steve and Bucky but every time she started to think of how to explain the situation to the people in her life, she grew incredibly overwhelmed. Kasey has been understanding. Sam didn't seem surprised. But Avery had no way to gauge how her sister would react - Lora was open minded of course, but definitely more of a traditionalist. Either way, it was not the right evening to start _that_ conversation.

She didn't need the world to understand or know that she was in a relationship with Steve and Bucky. But she did crave the approval of her family.

The idea of explaining it to her brother made Avery's stomach twist.

The night carried on smoothly as all the girls got drinks and started catching up, discussing the upcoming wedding and old memories and new friends and relationships and more. Avery was happy to see everyone had followed the simple dress code of black dresses - aside from her sister, of course, who was wearing a long sleeved white lace mini dress.

Asha and Jess, two of Lora's friends from high school, were quick to bond with Crystal and all three women lounged on the couches, snacking on cupcakes and chilled Prosecco.

Lora looked the most relaxed Avery had seen her in a long time.

"You look incredible, Lo," Avery started, throwing an arm over her sister's shoulder as they stood near the side of the roof.

"Uhm, this view is incredible, Avery," Lora said, leaning forward to take in the cityscape. The sun was setting over the river, leaving a beautiful pink and orange haze in the sky. "I hope Steve knows how grateful we are to have this backup location."

"Oh, he knows. I've told him time and time again how he saved my ass with this secret space," Avery replied with a coy smile. She had thanked Steve plenty and if the night didn't tire her out, he'd be getting even more gratitude from her later. And Bucky too, probably.

"I'm sorry for springing Crystal on you," Lora continued, adjusting her obnoxious pink ' _Bride To Be'_ sash as she turned away from the edge towards the rest of the group.

"You are not," Avery replied, trying to keep her tone as light as possible.

"Okay, you're right," Lora countered with a laugh. "She's just been really lost lately and I don't know, she misses you. If you're not going to make the effort, I have no problem forcing it."

Avery brought her drink up to her lips and took a long sip, avoiding responding to her sister. "It's going to be a fun night, Lo."

Despite her guard being up and the tension in her shoulders, Avery did try to relax. She mainly kept by Kasey's side, avoiding any real conversations with Crystal as the evening carried on. They were well into yet another bottle of bubbly and more discarded cans of seltzer when Asha suggested a game of Never Have I Ever.

"Oh, pre-apology to my sister who may learn things about me she does not want to know." Lora pointed at Avery with wide eyes and a playful smile. "Life happened in the five year gap, you know."

Avery's lips turned into a tense smile. "Do we need to mention that what happens on this rooftop stays on this rooftop?"

Asha took the lead. She sat up straight from her perch on the side arm of the couch, long black hair flowing in the gentle breeze. " _Never have I ever vanished out of existence."_

Avery swallowed hard and reached across the group to clink her glass with Jess as both women sipped their beverages.

Of course, the topics quickly veered off towards racy and inappropriate.

" _Never have I ever had sex in a public place."_

" _Never have I ever faked an orgasm."_

" _Never have I ever had sex in my childhood bedroom."_

" _Never have I ever called an ex for a booty call."_

Avery felt pretty reserved compared to some of her sister's friends and even Kasey. But she didn't mind. It was easier to keep things private and to herself. The more Avery drank, the more she watched Crystal. Her old friend occasionally peppered in stories about herself and Seth and it was taking a lot of Avery's energy to keep her comments to herself.

_Let it go, Avery._

She let out a long breath as Asha continued the game.

" _Never have I ever had a threesome."_

In retrospect, Avery could have kept her secret to herself. But, she took a long drink and noticed her sister doing the same.

"Avery Ray!"

"Lora Marie!"

"Oh, come on. I did a lot of experimenting in university, okay? This cannot be a surprise." Lora rolled her eyes but shuffled to sit and face her sister. "But you? I'm honestly shocked."

"If it happened in the last few weeks, I'm not," Kasey added in, earning a hard glare from Avery.

"What!?" Lora's eyes grew wide. "Avery. What are you not telling me? You and Bucky? And someone else?"

Avery coughed hard and took another drink, realizing her can was empty. "The game does not dictate I have to reveal who the threesome was with." She paused and narrowed her eyes. "And do you really want to know the details of my sex life?"

Lora opened her mouth to reply then paused. "Okay. I guess that's fair. Good deflecting." She turned to her friends again. "Jess! You totally should have taken a drink. I remember the grad party.."

As the group turned into a fit of laughter remembering old stories, Avery took the opportunity to slip away and head downstairs for a much needed break. Even though everything had been going smoothly, she figured it was appropriate to clear her head and, okay, _maybe_ she just wanted to go say hi to Steve. She excused herself to use the bathroom and hurried down the stairwell.

"Hey you," Steve looked up from his seat on the couch as the door opened. He flashed Avery a warm smile as he stood, pausing in front of her as she leaned against his kitchen counter. "How are things going?"

"Relatively pain free so far," Avery replied, closing her eyes for a moment.

"I like this dress, by the way," Steve said quietly, letting his eyes draw up and down her body.

"You realize this is the same one I wore on our date last week, right?"

"I liked it then. I like it now." Steve shifted and closed in the space between them, moving his hands up and down her arms then resting them on her hips. "I liked it piled up on my floor, too."

Avery giggled and hooked her fingers onto his belt loops, bringing him even closer. "Well, I'm sure it'll find a home on your floor again tonight. Just might have to peel it off my drunk body."

"That is.." Steve laughed, tipping his head back slightly. "A very unsexy visual."

Avery laughed along with him and moved her hands up to his neck, running her fingers through his hair. "Can't help it. I'm just so unsexy, Rogers."

"Huh. You know, I get strangely turned on when you address me by my last name." Steve chuckled to himself as his mind raced. His tongue escaped his mouth, slowly moving along his lips.

Avery gulped as she watched. "Some weird authority kink, maybe? Would you prefer I call you _Captain Rogers?"_ Avery raised herself onto her toes and kissed him, gently tugging on his hair as Steve's hands caressed her backside.

They didn't have time to really get carried away when the door opened and Crystal's voice echoed into the apartment. Avery's eyes grew wide and she quickly pulled away from Steve, running a hand over her mouth and smoothing her dress as Crystal appeared beside the kitchen.

"Hey Crystal," Avery said, stumbling over her words. "This is Steve."

Steve extended his hand to Crystal with a warm smile. Avery was desperately hoping they didn't look like two kids who just got caught in the cookie jar.

Crystal didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary and thanked Steve as he pointed out his bathroom.

"I'm sorry," Avery muttered out as the bathroom door closed. "I didn't mean to.. I'm not trying to hide this.." She motioned between herself and Steve. "It's just sort of.."

"Hard to explain?" Steve found the end of her thought and nodded. He understood, of course. Admittedly he was still feeling a bit on the outside of the relationship - though the small moments where he held Avery's hand or kissed her in public helped. But the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable and nervous about defining and publicizing it.

"I don't want you to feel less than," Avery continued, running her fingers through her hair. "Because it's not like that."

"I know, doll." Steve captured her in a quick kiss and squeezed her hand. "The opinions of the people who are close to us make a big impact."

Avery appreciated his understanding but couldn't figure out if he was hurt by the hesitance. She wished it was easier.

The features of his face were relaxed, soft. There was no outstanding tension or uncertainty but Avery struggled enough trying to read both Steve and Bucky. They seemed to be experts at saving face.

"I'm okay, Avery. Don't worry." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head then took a step away as the bathroom door opened again. "Just enjoy the rest of the night. And let me know when you ladies want to head out."

She thanked Steve once more and headed back into the hall with Crystal.

"He's nice," Crystal started as they climbed the stairs.

"Steve's really great," Avery agreed, nodding and staring ahead as they approached the roof.

"I recognize him from somewhere," Crystal continued, pausing at the rooftop door.

Avery gulped. "Yeah, uh." She pulled the door open and they headed back to the group. "Full name Steve Rogers." She glanced to read Crystal's face. "Yes, _that_ Steve Rogers."

"What!?" Crystal turned to grab Avery by the arm. "You're telling me I just used Captain America's bathroom? I just looked through the medicine cabinet of a national icon?"

Avery stifled her laughter and tried to encourage Crystal to keep her voice down. "Yes."

"And you're dating his _friend_ and not him?" There was a very real curiosity in Crystal's tone and for a moment, Avery felt like she was just catching up with her old girlfriend. It was light and fun and familiar.

Like the old days when they would talk about boys and frustrations and the future.

Avery was also still curious if Crystal had any suspicions about her and Steve in the kitchen.

"I am dating his friend, yes." Avery concluded that was not a lie.

Why couldn't she just say it?

Was it that unusual to say she was dating both of them? That they were all dating each other?

Luckily her spiralling thoughts were cut off by Kasey calling them back over to the couches to play some drinking game. Avery cracked open another can of seltzer, raising an eyebrow to her cousin as she started to line up some plastic shot glasses.

She prayed the rest of the night would go by smoothly.

* * *

The piano bar had been _fine_. Avery did catch her sister's displeasure as their requests were backlogged and the only table they could snag was in the back corner. After another drink, the whole group exited and trekked a few blocks further into a basement bar that had dancing.

When they got to their second location, Avery figured out why her sister had been so insistent on hurrying there. That's where Allie and her group of friends had ended up after their pubcrawl.

"Couldn't hack it for one night without her, huh," Avery whispered to her sister as she scanned the bar for her fiancée.

"Allie has been texting me all night," Lora admitted as her cheeks blushed pink. "We're terribly codependent but don't tell her I said that." Her face lit up when she saw Allie standing near a tall table in the back with a few of her girlfriends, plus Sam, Bucky and Steve. Their own group of girls split up - Jess, Asha and Crystal headed towards the crowded dance floor.

Kasey quickly pulled Sam away to get a drink at the bar.

Avery, meanwhile, couldn't help but grin like an idiot as she stopped in front of her boyfriends. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her veins but goddamn if they didn't look so incredible. Bucky in his dark pants, hoodie and leather jacket. Steve was dressed in just a pair of jeans and a plaid button-up. Their basic, standard outfits. But.. incredible. Incredible? Was that the right descriptive word?

_Hot. Super hot. Tight. Built. Firm. Remarkable._

"What's remarkable, doll?" Bucky caught her gaze and her eyes went wide. Apparently she hadn't kept that last thought to herself.

Avery planted herself in front of Bucky, bracing herself on his thighs as he sat in a tall chair. Steve smirked from his position beside him. She chewed on her lip.

"Having a good night?"

"It has been above average, I s'pose," Avery replied to Bucky, closing her eyes for a second. "Who's coming to dance with me?"

"I think this dancing is a bit different than I'm used to," Steve tilted his head to look across the room.

"That means you're up, sweetcheeks," Avery grabbed Bucky's left hand - which was concealed in a glove for the evening - and urged him to stand. "Pleeeeease."

"Who is this girl and where did our Avery go, Stevie?" Bucky's lips grew into a smirk as he pretended to contemplate his options.

"Still your Avery," she pouted. "Buck, please."

"Twist my arm, doll." Bucky stood up from the chair as Steve clapped him on the back, smiling as they headed towards the dance floor.

Bucky also didn't have much of a clue how to _dance_ like folks did in this century. But if his girlfriend and her cute pout and her short dress requested him to dance, he would figure it out.

He didn't love the large group of people or the loud music. It was overwhelming for him. But he did love how Avery guided his hands to her waist as she pressed her body so close against his. Suddenly, the music and lights and other people didn't even exist. Avery closed her eyes and relaxed into Bucky, letting _everything else_ just melt away.

She only subjected Bucky to a few repetitive songs and dances before they were interrupted.

"C'mon, let's do a shot!" Crystal grabbed for Avery's hand and pulled her towards the bar. Bucky followed behind, keeping his eyes alert as they pushed through the crowd.

The tequila warmed Avery up from the inside. She shook her head rapidly as she sucked on a lime, pausing to introduce Bucky to Crystal.

"He's so hot!" Crystal was not concealing the tone of her voice and although she agreed - _Bucky was very attractive_ \- her commentary bothered Avery. Maybe it was because she had once said the same thing about her ex-boyfriend and now they were married.

Avery dismissed her thoughts and ordered another two shots instead of continuing the conversation. Bucky's hand found her waist and she saw a concerned look on his face when ordered _one more._

"Let's get some air." Bucky tilted his head towards the door and Avery grasped his hand as they crossed the crowded room. Crystal followed along and they found Lora, Allie, and Steve, too.

"Jess and Asha just took some edibles and called it a night," Lora said with a laugh as she rushed over to Avery, throwing her arms around her sister's neck for a hug. "You know, CBD might help _you_ calm down a bit, dear sister."

"Okay, Doctor Lora," Avery squeezed onto her sister tight, the cold air and tequila hitting her like a wall. As the two parted, Avery closed her eyes and reached out a hand to steady herself.

"That third shot may have been a bad'dea," she said quietly.

"Thought you weren't drinking until the wedding, doll." Bucky smirked and grabbed her hand, ensuring she was solid on her two feet and not going to fall over.

"I'll go grab the car," Steve added in with a laugh, concluding that maybe their evening was coming to an end.

"Chauffer Steve is so nice," Crystal announced with a smile. "How is he single?"

Allie choked on a laugh as she caught a shared look between Bucky and Avery, smiling as Lora leaned on her shoulder. "He's not."

"Really?" Lora perked up. "I thought maybe he and Jess would get along."

Avery's stomach twisted as they spoke about Steve. Bucky extended his arm over her shoulder. "They wouldn't." She said quickly, chewing on her bottom lip. "Steve is-

Lora tipped her head to the side and looked at Bucky. "I actually thought you and Steve were -

Crystal continued on. "Maybe not Jess but what about Rache-

Avery swallowed hard and looked at her sister then Crystal. "No, no. Nope. Steve does not need'ta be set up, okay?"

"Just let it go, doll," Bucky said quietly. "This isn't the time to -

"Why so defensive, Ave?" Lora took a step forward with a playful smile on her face. "You're already inna relationship an-

"Babe, let it go," Allie reached for her fiancee's hand. "Do you wanna get pizza on the way home?"

There was a weird energy growing between the two sisters. Avery took a deep breath, thinking back to her moment with Steve in his kitchen earlier. He had dismissed it all, of course, but the more Avery thought about the slight line of disappointment on his face, she broke down a little bit more inside.

"Ave, sometimes you're too nice for your own good but you can't have your cake and eat it, too. Don't you think Steve deserves someone?" Lora was so matter-of-fact in her commentary and that was the final straw for Avery.

She loved her sister, but Lora's underlying need to be _right_ was so fucking annoying.

_What do I have to lose?_

"Steve has a girlfriend, Lo. It's me."

Lora raised an eyebrow. "Are you that drunk? You're dating Bucky!"

"I'm dating them both, okay?"

"What?!"

"I knew there was a weird vibe in his apartment earlier," Crystal jumped in, crossing her arms. "Very thick sexual tension."

Avery ignored her old friend and looked at her sister, who's face seemed to be frozen in confusion. It was when it shifted to something more aligned with _disgust_ that Avery started to shrink into herself.

"You can't just date two people, Avery. That's not a thing." Lora's eyes shifted to Bucky. "I don't understand."

"Babe, it's their relationship to understand, not yours," Allie took a few steps forward and pulled Lora back.

"How are you not reacting to this?" Lora's voice was shrill and loud. "Did you know?"

"Not officially," Allie was calm and collected. It probably wasn't the first time she had to talk down her partner from a drunken spiral.

Bucky was starting to see a lot of resemblance between Avery and her sister.

"I just don't get it! How does this work?" Lora closed her eyes with a dry laugh. "I can't imagine dating one guy let'alone two.."

The large black SUV pulled up next to them and Steve climbed out, eyes narrowed at the loud voices exchanging back and forth.

Lora glanced at Steve as he rejoined their group, then to Bucky. Then back to her sister. "So, what? You're just fucking both of them?"

Avery gasped as her cheeks burned red. "Lora Marie." She started to lunge forward but Bucky caught her in his arms.

"That's who the threesome was with," Crystal added in with a knowing nod, thinking back to the game they played earlier in the night.

"Uh. What did I miss?" Steve asked slowly, catching an equally confused look from Bucky.

"Avery just told everyone you're her boyfriend," Bucky tried to contain his smirk. "And that I am also her boyfriend. We're still in the shocked stage, I think."

Steve opened his mouth to say something then closed it just as quickly.

Lora didn't seem able to get beyond the _shocked stage._ "No, I don't.. This is stupid, Avery. How long do you really think this is going to last?" She laughed to herself again, waving away Allie as she tried to stop her from continuing. "You can't just date two people forever. That can't work."

Avery huffed and pulled away from Bucky's arms. "Oh, come on, _Lora_. I love Bucky. I love Steve. _And they both love me_. Why can't it work?"

This wasn't an ideal way for their evening to end. Most of their group would agree with that. But as Bucky and Steve listened to Avery defend them and their relationship - using that big _love_ word and everything - they both felt a strange sense of peace and comfort.

"Wait, wait, wait." Lora's face shifted from disgust to something so much softer. She swallowed hard, closing in the space between herself and her sister. "Love? Like.. this is real?"

Avery couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, Lo. I mean, I'm fairly drunk and probably chose the wrong time to tell them I love them for the first time.. But I do. It's real."

Lora grasped her sister's hands in her own then looked over Avery's shoulder to Steve and Bucky. "And you love her?"

Bucky's lips tweaked into a soft smile. "Yeah."

Steve's face scrunched up into a smile too, tiny creases appearing near his eyes. "We do."

"Avery Ray," Lora pulled her sister into another hug as a few tears fell down her cheeks. "This is so weird and I do not understand it but I'm happy if you're happy."

Avery felt her shoulders relax and breathed her sister in, letting out a long breath. "I am, Lo. Really. Sorry I didn't tell'you the truth before but it's new and I figured you would overreact and -

"Hey," Lora laughed as she pulled back. "Unfair."

"But true, love," Allie added in quietly, grabbing her hand. As Lora turned to her fiancee, Avery walked back towards her boys.

_Her boys._

"You love us, huh." Bucky squeezed Avery's shoulder as she fell onto Steve's chest, welcoming his arm around her back.

Avery's cheeks turned bright red at Bucky's comment. "I know it's just a word and you two already said it but -

Steve shifted and brought his hand to her chin, tipping her head up towards him. He met her lips with his then broke away with a smile. "You don't have to explain, sweetheart. Bucky's just trying to rile you up."

"Hey." Bucky's face turned to a fake pout. "That's not true."

They just continued to laugh as they headed to pile into the SUV. Before sliding into the passenger seat, Avery paused when she saw Crystal waiting on the sidewalk after saying goodnight to Lora.

"We can drop you off if you want?" Avery walked towards Crystal who was waiting to hail a cab. She met her old friend's eyes and Avery saw a slight sadness across her face. Despite the distance, she still _knew_ Crystal. Her light and airy mood seemed to have disappeared and she wanted to ask why.

"It's okay," Crystal replied with a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm going up to the West Side, it's out of the way." She hesitated then pulled Avery into a hug. "God, it was so nice to see you, Ave. You look really happy with them." Crystal's eyes darted back towards the SUV, where Bucky was waiting to climb in. "I know you don't want to see me but I would really love for you to meet Claire. I just.." She let out a long breath and squeezed Avery's hand before letting go. "I miss you."

Avery just stood there, a bit dumbfounded. She tried to force herself to say something - _anything_ \- but her brain and mouth couldn't find a way to work together. Instead, she gave Crystal a wave as she climbed into a taxi then watched as the vehicle headed into the sea of cars.

Bucky offered Avery a hand as she climbed into the passenger seat. He didn't ask if she was okay but his eyes glossed over her with concern. She just smiled as she buckled her seatbelt and leaned back into the seat.

"Okay, I am not gonna make a speech but if either of you hurt my sister, I'll be soooo upset," Lora leaned over the backseat to look at Bucky.

Bucky and Steve both just laughed. Allie encouraged her to keep her voice down.

Avery smiled, pleased the night was coming to an end and that it had been quick and free of any everlasting dramatics. Things with Crystal had gone okay although Avery was left wondering why her mood had dropped just as the night ended.

As Steve started to drive, she closed her eyes and just tried to focus on the fact that soon enough, she'd be crawling into Steve's bed, sandwiched between him and Bucky.

"Oh! Allie promised me a stop for pizza -

"I did not promise anything, babe."

"Please, Steve? Please. Can we stop for pizza."

Avery opened her eyes and shifted to look at Steve, who was laughing again. She giggled. "Yes, Stevie? Can we pleeeeease get pizza."

"Sure, doll." Steve reached over and grabbed Avery's hand, pressing a kiss against it.

"You guys are so in love, it's so gross."

"Oh, shut up Lo. You're the one who just had to end up at the same bar as Allie and her friends."

Bucky just tilted his head, catching Avery's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Bet you five bucks Avery throws up before bed."

"Hey." Avery turned her head and pouted. "Mean."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Steve can hold your hair back this time. It's only fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey folks! Sorry it's been a bit longer than usual between updates. Life, ya know? Just.. life. I luckily had a week off work and had some time to unplug and just take a break recently and it was nice to recharge. All that to say, I still have a bit of story to tell here and we're ramping up to some action. I am hoping to resume my goal of updating weekly again so bear with me :) also are these chapters too long? I always prefer a nice long chapter myself but I'm willing to split them up if people find it too much at once!
> 
> As usual, thank you to everyone who is here reading and enjoying the story with me! I never dreamed it would get to this stage but I'm happy with how these relationships and characters have developed and I am so happy to have you here, too!!
> 
> I published a Steve/Reader one shot a few weeks ago - to get an idea out of my system, mostly. But if that's your cup of tea, feel free to check it out - it's called 'Just You And Me' :)
> 
> Story notes: I'll keep this short but clearly we're learning as we develop this three person relationship and Avery still has some wounds to try and heal from her old life. And working alongside her boys to try and help them out might seem like a great plan but it may not be without difficulty. 
> 
> Next up: there's an opportunity for Bucky to reconnect with his old family - but will he be on board? And a plan to stop S.H.O.T starts to unfold.


	23. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: a touch of smut in a short sex scene. Oh, and feelings.

Morning in the summer was Avery's favourite time of day. To enjoy the warm air before it transitioned into sticky and humid was refreshing and something she took for granted. Monday morning as she headed up the stairs from her subway station and towards the Simonarc offices, she tried to appreciate the energetic hopefulness in the air and she tried just as hard to ignore the heavy anxious feeling in her stomach.

She hadn't spoken to Will since he dropped her off following the incident Wednesday. She left his texts unanswered but knew soon enough they would cross paths. And as she was walking into the lobby of the building, that happened a lot sooner than she anticipated.

"Avery," Will greeted her just as she pulled the door open, as if he had been lingering near the front foyer waiting for her. "I brought you a coffee. Do you have a few minutes?"

Avery swallowed hard and nodded once, removing her death grip from the strap of her purse and reaching for one of the coffee cups in Will's hand. He offered her a calm smile and she tried to mirror it, trailing behind him as they headed towards his office. She was impressed by his casual candor - he greeted his administrative assistant warmly and promptly shut the door after he and Avery were inside. She hesitantly sat in one of the chairs and by the time Will was seated across from her, his facade had dissolved.

"How are you feeling?" Will started. He took a sip of his coffee then leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk.

"Fine," she answered quickly. "Will, I think given what happened last week, with the, uh, backfiring car, I'd like to transition back to just working in the office. No extra training, no site visits.. just back to boring data entry and forgetting about everything else."

Will didn't respond.

"And here is the storage drive." Avery reached into her purse and placed it on the desk with an envelope. "And the money."

"No, no. Keep that. It's fine."

"Will, I don't want you to -

"Avery." He cut her off, eyes narrowing. "Keep it."

She swallowed hard again, scanning his face quickly. He didn't need to say it but it was clear he was leaning into his favourite word: _discretion._

"And you can resume your desk work. That's fine. If I need extra support with reports after visits, you'll continue doing that, too." He closed his eyes and for a second Avery thought maybe his lip quivered. "I know all this stuff escalated in an unexpected way, Avery. I am grateful you were so willing to help and I would like to apologize for what I said last week about your job and housing connections."

Avery nodded. She _wanted_ to snap at him about that but she bit her tongue. If she was going to stay amicable with Will for the sake of the ongoing investigations, she needed to be as personable as possible. "I understand you're under a lot of pressure, Will. No need for any additional apologies."

Will smiled then shifted to sit up straight in his chair, adjusting his tie. "Great. So we're good?"

"Yes. All good."

* * *

Avery, Steve and Bucky had a thorough conversation about whether or not some basic hand-to-hand combat techniques should be incorporated into Avery's self defence lessons.

Avery was under the impression she didn't need anymore lessons.

" _You don't need to flirt with me to get my attention anymore, Buck."_

Bucky didn't _want_ to have to teach her anything else. He believed Avery would never be put in an unsafe situation without himself or Steve there to help her so why would she need to know which pressure points to hit to take someone down.

Steve - who was quickly learning what was going to be his role in the relationship - was being the voice of reason. His investigation into the curious maintenance worker who visited Avery's apartment the weekend they were away turned up nothing positive. Video footage showed the man coming and going from an unmarked van and service records indicate no maintenance plans for Avery's apartment that weekend.

It unnerved Steve immensely. He didn't follow up with Avery about it nor did he go into details with Bucky. The last thing they needed was Bucky trying to vouch for more security or forcing Avery to move or _something_ just as haphazardly planned.

But knowing Avery might have some extra skills to help herself if an unsavoury situation unfolded helped a bit.

Which is why they were spending Tuesday night in Bucky's training room, reviewing everything Bucky had already taught her and educating her on some defensive tactics, too.

"Stevie, I am so sorry!" Avery dropped to her knees beside Steve as he collapsed, hands grabbing between his thighs. "You both said if I have a clear shot of a guy's -

"Can you stop laughing, please," Steve opened his eyes and snapped at Bucky, who was using the wall to help him stand as he laughed.

"What? I just.. didn't realize a knee to the junk could take Captain America down so easily," Bucky replied with a shrug.

"Steve, I'm sorry. You said I should not hold back and hit you like I normally would but I didn't think.." Avery winced as he sat up. "Would ice or anything help?"

Steve leaned over and found her lips. "I'm okay, Ave. You did well."

Avery felt bad about the strange twist of satisfaction and pride that swelled in her as the praise left Steve's mouth.

"But we're swapping out, jerk," Steve continued, taking Bucky's hand as he helped him up. Avery bounced back to her feet too, an apprehensive look on her face.

"Let's do that whole sequence again, okay?" Bucky let Avery's eyes as she confirmed with a nod. "But maybe try to go for my knees instead of -

"Bucky Junior?"

Bucky's eyes grew wide at her suggestive nickname for his manhood. Steve laughed and took a few steps away to observe.

Bucky stepped in and kissed Avery. "Please never use that phrase again, doll."

* * *

Friday evening found Avery, Steve and Bucky hanging out in Avery's apartment. Her central air was running strong as they lounged in the living room - Avery was leaning against Bucky on the couch as they watched an episode of a cooking show. Steve was sitting on the floor, sketchbook resting in his hands as he worked on some line drawings of Avery's plant collection.

There was a settling feeling of contentment in the air.

"This guy is an idiot if he thinks he has time to make risotto right now," Avery commented as she shifted against Bucky. He adjusted his arm accordingly, tracing his hand along her shoulder.

"Well, whatshisname is about to serve raw chicken, so he's got nothing to lose apparently," Bucky added with a chuckle. "Hey - what's this?" His fingers brushed against her neck, finding the end of a necklace that was around her neck.

Bucky considered himself pretty observant - Avery didn't wear much jewelry.

"Oh." Avery shifted to sit up straight, reaching for the chain around her neck. "These are my brother's dog tags — She pulled the chain out and grabbed the end — if I'm feeling anxious or worried or.. I just like to wear them." She glanced from Bucky to Steve, who had slowly put down his pencil. "Sorry if that's like..disrespectful or something. It's just a private thing and -

Bucky sat forward on the couch and turned to her, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. "Don't stress, Ave. We're not judging you." He moved his hand towards hers as she clutched the tags over her heart. She opened her palm and Bucky touched the metal plates. "It's nice you've got this piece of him."

Avery smiled softly, letting out a long exhale.

"You've got both sets?" Steve asked curiously, watching as Bucky read the metal tags.

Avery nodded. "I know that's unusual but well, there wasn't any _body_ left to recover after the plane crash. So they sent my parents the pair. Dad wanted to bury them, mom didn't. Truthfully, I should let Nash have them but it's hard to let go."

"Could you tell us about what happened?" Steve followed up, moving over to sit with them on the couch. "It doesn't have to be today but one day?"

Avery smiled again. "Yes." She let the tags fall against her t-shirt, laying down and resting her head on Steve's lap while her legs fell onto Bucky's. "You two would probably like Jeremy more than Nash, actually. He was much less hot-headed, more soft spoken. Though loyal to a fault."

She didn't go into much detail but explained about the circumstances of her brother's death overseas. Even though many of the active troops had been sent back to the states by 2015, Jeremy's unit had remained. He had gone off course due to a dry storm and his plane had been shot down unexpectedly.

"He had only just turned 25. He was actually supposed to be heading home for the holidays a few days after it happened." Avery sighed. "That was not a fun Christmas."

"It sounds like your brother was very brave, sweetheart," Steve said quietly, brushing his hand against her forehead.

"He loved what he did - it was this fundamental part of who he was. While Nash is a lot of talk, I could see him retiring out and doing something else. But Jer was going to climb the ranks without a doubt. It was, like, weaved into his being."

"Sounds like Stevie," Bucky added in with a smirk.

Steve chuckled along in agreement.

"Speaking of brothers." Avery took a deep breath and looked up to Steve. "Do you think we should.."

Steve shrugged a shoulder, stealing a glance towards Bucky. "I guess now is as good a time as ever."

"Good time for what?" Bucky narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend and girlfriend as they chatted. This wasn't the first time he had caught them talking _vaguely_ throughout the week.

"We could do your plan instead," Avery continued, pulling herself up and standing.

"Well, no. Not when you're so clearly pushing your plan in front of him anyway," Steve replied, raising an eyebrow. He waved his hand. "Do you want to start? Or should I?"

"Can one of you just tell me what's going on." While Bucky enjoyed their back and forth, his curiosity was getting the better of him.

"You start," Avery said to Steve, turning to smile at Bucky. "Can you just..listen for a few minutes and try to keep an open mind."

"As long as you include me in whatever this is," Bucky motioned between them. "I'm all ears."

"Okay." Steve took a second to collect his thoughts then turned to face Bucky on the couch. "Last time I brought this up, I know you didn't want to even start the conversation but I couldn't just give up on it." Steve stood up and walked towards Avery's small table, digging through his bag and pulling out a file folder. He held it in both hands as he paused in front of Bucky.

"Steve." Bucky leaned forward on the couch, extending his hand out. As Steve relinquished the documents, he held his breath. Avery paused beside him.

Bucky scanned his eyes over the plain front of the folder then opened it, slowly taking in the documents.

In his hands he held the Barnes family history, dating back to his grandparents and moving as far forward as a great-great-grandniece whose birth had recently been announced in a small newspaper in Millville, New Jersey.

Avery took a step towards the couch, pushing another piece of paper into Bucky's line of sight. He felt his chest tighten as he took it from her, reading the large heading of the document.

"Come celebrate as George Barnes turns 100.." Bucky trailed off as he read it out loud. On the small poster was a photo of an elderly man, smiling wide from his wheelchair. Beside it, though, was a picture that stung Bucky in the heart. His baby brother George Jr., in a cracked old sepia image, sitting on the front steps of their family house.

Bucky licked his lips for a second then caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared. His left knee started to bounce up and down, blinking rapidly as his eyes moved from the paper to the large file folder.

"Me and Steve thought we could make the drive up tomorrow! That town is only a few hours away and the party is an open house, drop-in sort of thing. Can you imagine how surprised and excited your family will be to-

Bucky took in a deep breath and dropped the folder down on the coffee table. "No." His voice was quiet.

"Buck, c'mon. Don't you owe it to -

"Avery, no." His head shot up, catching Avery's hopeful gaze as it started to fracture into a frown. "I said no. This is my choice. Let's drop it."

Avery tried not to let him break her resolve. She and Steve had talked about this earlier in the week - it was pretty likely Bucky was not going to react positively and Steve had forewarned her of it. That didn't make it any less painful to see Bucky look so lost and disappointed.

Avery stood tall, shaking off Steve's warning hand from her shoulder as she took another step forward. "You're being unreasonable, you know. You have the opportunity to -

"Avery, stop!" Bucky shouted as he stood up, his head moved around the room quickly and he moved away from the couch. Suddenly, the apartment felt very small. "It is not your place to call me unreasonable. Everything doesn't have to be a fucking argument."

Avery swallowed hard and took a few steps away from the couch, doing her very best to hide her discomfort at his loud tone and aggressive words.

Steve put himself between Avery and Bucky.

"Buck, calm down." Steve followed Bucky as he headed for the door. "I thought maybe -

"You didn't think at all, Steve," Bucky growled. "My life isn't some pet project and you had no right to keep digging about them when I told you I wasn't interested." He grabbed the door handle.

"Hey," Steve grabbed Bucky's arm to stop him. "They were my family, too."

Bucky took in a deep breath, pulling away from Steve. When Steve's grip tightened, Bucky growled then pivoted, using his left arm to shove Steve away from him. Steve let go, stumbling a step backward as he locked eyes with Bucky.

Avery let out a silent gasp at their altercation. She had seen Bucky and Steve playfight before, which could be intense considering their strength. But this didn't feel playful.

Steve held his hands up in defeat as Bucky pulled away. He looked from Steve to Avery once more, opening his mouth for a moment then closing it tight. He pulled open her door and slammed it shut, stomping up the hall and into the stairwell.

All that was heard in Avery's apartment was the humming of the central air. Five minutes ago everything was so light and content. Now, the air hung heavy between her and Steve.

"Well, that was a bust," Avery finally muttered out, heading towards her couch. She closed her eyes as she leaned back, letting out a long exhale.

Steve remained quiet as he stood in place. Truthfully, he was hoping Bucky would have a more positive reaction. Steve hasn't brought up Bucky's family in a long time and maybe that was where he went wrong - it should have been more gradual instead of all at once. It didn't help that Avery was so excitable about it, not that Steve could blame her for it. But the combination may have just scared Bucky off from the idea entirely.

"I'm sorry," Avery shifted to sit up on her knees at the end of the couch, looking towards Steve.

"It's not your fault," Steve replied, slowly turning and walking towards her.

"You don't have to do that," Avery sighed.

"Do what?"

"Sugarcoat it. Like you think you're going to upset me." She let out a dry laugh. "I come in at 100% a lot and shoving that event flyer into his face and continuing to push him was all on me."

Steve sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was argue with Avery too.

"We're both to blame here," Steve agreed. "I shouldn't have given up on the topic after the first time he and I fought about it." Steve joined her on the couch, arms crossed.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat there quietly for a while - each of them likely playing the scenario again and again in their mind. After the next episode of the cooking show started to roll the credits, Avery moved to stand.

"I'm going to go talk to him," she announced with a nod. "Do you think that's a bad idea?"

Steve's lips were drawn into a straight line. "No. He probably won't yell at you like he might me." He stood, too. "Just approach with caution, okay?" He followed her to the door, grabbing his ball cap. "I'm going to go for a walk - call me if things go south."

Avery nodded again and grabbed for his shoulders, pulling herself up to kiss him. He gave in and pulled back with a smile, hopeful.

When she gained no response after knocking, Avery made the decision to just walk into Bucky's apartment. She moved slowly, pushing the door open cautiously and gazing around. She called his name but didn't hear him respond. His kitchen was empty. Before she moved to check his training room, she spotted the door to his balcony slid open.

A while ago, Bucky recalled Avery's offhand comment about having a table out on his balcony. He had placed one of his kitchen chairs out there when he first moved in but one requisition to Pepper made a small bistro table magically appear one day. Splitting time between his place and Steve's and now Avery's didn't leave him a lot of free time in his own home anymore. But, after letting the waves of frustration and sadness weigh him down, he decided the warm air and sunshine might help his mood.

Sitting in the sun was preferable to breaking his punching bag _again._

Bucky heard Avery at the door but didn't move to greet her. He wasn't mad _at her._ He was just.. mad.

Mostly at himself.

Mad at how he reacted - physical against Steve, unnecessarily verbal towards Avery.

Mad that he was pushing himself away from possibility.

Mad that HYDRA took his autonomy away for so long - that he was too damn scared to consider maybe his family would want to get to know him.

Mad that he was trapped in his own mind for so long.

Mad that he fell off that goddamn train in the first place.

He heard Avery search his space for a few moments then pause and head towards his balcony door. He wondered if she offered to come up herself or if she and Steve had played Rock, Paper, Scissors.

He remained looking forward, lost in the sea of pink clouds as the sun set, when she stepped out. She didn't greet him but instead leaned on the edge of the railing, looking down briefly then ahead just the same as he was.

Bucky drew his eyes over to her. Despite his leftover frustrations, the sight of her caused his heart to warm. Barefoot, jean shorts - there was always some strange bruise or mark on her legs - and an oversized white t-shirt. Her hair flowed down past her shoulders though she soon reached to pull it into a mess on the top of her head instead. The warmth outside was a stark contrast to her cool apartment.

"You know," she started quietly, turning to lean her hip against the balcony as she faced Bucky. "Sometimes my anxious little brain helps me anticipate scenarios that never happen. Almost always bad scenarios, unfortunately. When that it's paired with my underlying need to prove myself and it just.. comes out in hostile, argumentative bursts." She paused.

"I can easily see a situation going poorly and even though my brain is like _this didn't go as planned_ there are all these neurons firing that just encourage me to keep going or argue harder to make my point or _jump on that idiot's back_.." Avery trailed off with a smirk and heard Bucky chuckle.

"All that to say, I'm sorry." She took a step towards him, trying to read his body language. He was stiff, arms crossed. "The approach was very wrong. In my brain, you would hesitate, have some reservations then give in to our wonderful plan."

"It's not that easy, Avery."

"I suppose I knew that all along but I just thought.. Steve and I both thought.. actually, that doesn't matter. It's your feelings that matter most here."

Bucky shook his head. "That's not entirely true. It's not just about me and I've been a bit ignorant to that fact. I know Steve hit a dead end with his own family but he was always an honorary Barnes, too."

Avery took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Buck, I know it's not even close to the same thing but.. If I had the opportunity to see Jeremy again, even after years and years, I would be _so_ happy. Family is family is family." There was a heavy pause. "You can't go back and undo what happened. Your past is still your past. I can't pretend to understand how it haunts you or just lingers there in your mind but.. you know me and Stevie are here for you either way, right? And we love you. So much."

Avery opened her eyes again, swallowing hard as she met Bucky's gaze. His eyes were welling with tears. Avery didn't bother waiting for him to let her in - she rushed over and climbed onto the chair with him, straddling her legs around his hips and cradling his head in her hand. He didn't sob but her shoulder absorbed his quiet cries as he breathed her in.

Bucky only had so much control in his life and that was hard, still. Even though Steve had helped clear out the history of The Asset and what The Winter Soldier did for decades, the truth was still out there. And that was why he was so resistant to connecting with any of his family - he had no idea what they knew or how they might perceive him now. Bucky had a hard time accepting and forgiving himself for his past - he couldn't expect his family to do that, too.

To him, it had always been easier to not have any answer to that question. Keep it at bay. It might cause him so much more pain.

Though, as he sat there with Avery whispering in his ear and rubbing his neck, his mind wandered towards the warmth she radiated.

The love she pressed upon him.

Knowing his family could open him up to love and happiness. There could be positive memories to gain, he could learn about the life his sisters and parents led. And his baby brother - who was still alive and well enough to celebrate his 100th birthday - he could have a relationship with him.

There was a possibility.

Didn't he owe himself that?

He realized that he would always have Steve by his side. Through good and bad. And now, hopefully, Avery would be in their life for the long haul, too. So if he went to meet his family, with the support of two people he loved, did it matter if it went poorly? And wouldn't it be even more special to share with them if it went spectacularly?

"I never shoulda shouted at you," Bucky's voice was quiet as he held onto Avery. "Or pushed Stevie."

Avery just rubbed his back, as if to say it was okay.

"Where is he?" Bucky leaned back and put a few inches of space between himself and Avery, nuzzling against her for a few moments before he found the back of the chair.

Avery remained on his lap, hands joined behind his neck and gently scratching at his hair. "He said he was going for a walk."

As if on command, Bucky's door opened up and footsteps were heard in a similar pattern to Avery's earlier. Eventually, Steve found them on the balcony. He had a soft smile on his face and a drink tray in hand.

Avery moved to stand up and as she got to her feet, Bucky pulled her back to sit on his lap again. She just giggled and swung her legs to the side and hooked her arm over his shoulders. Steve sat in the second bistro chair and placed the drinks on the table.

"Peace offering?" Bucky asked with a smirk.

"Milkshakes." Steve grabbed one of the cups and nudged the tray towards them. "No fighting over the -

"I call strawberry!" Avery announced, reaching for the cup labeled with an S while Bucky grabbed the last one.

"Buck, I'm sorry about all the research. I should have left it alone."

Bucky sucked on his straw for a second then shook his head. "No. You did the exact Steve thing and didn't give up. Because a part of you always knew there would be a day I wanted it."

Steve might have been blushing but it was hard to tell in the fading sunlight. "Maybe. But the approach was wrong. Plan A should have always been working with you and not keeping it hidden away."

Bucky shrugged but his demeanour was soft. "I love you, Stevie." He put down his cup and reached a hand out for Steve to grab. "Sorry I'm such a stubborn jackass."

Avery sighed and leaned onto Bucky's chest. "But you're _our_ stubborn jackass, babe." They all laughed at the callback to her lamenting from the week before.

They just continued to sit in the warm air as the night sky grew in front of them. No one brought up the file folder or Bucky's family for the rest of the night.

* * *

Whenever they shared a bed that wasn't king size, it was very obvious to all of them. Avery didn't really mind but she knew it was crowded. She didn't always get the middle spot - sometimes she fell asleep first and hugged the far side and the boys piled in behind her. But Saturday morning, she woke up with her back pressed against Steve's chest and her arm draped over Bucky.

It was cozy.

As she slowly stirred in the morning light — she and Steve had convinced Bucky to open his blinds _sometimes_ — she felt Steve waking up behind her, too.

In fact, she could feel _all_ of Steve. He had started to feel so much more comfortable with her and could read her cues without hesitation now. Not that pressing her ass into him wasn't an obvious enough indication that she was feeling needy.

Bucky remained asleep as Steve found Avery's neck with his mouth, sucking and biting along as she reached behind to stroke him through his boxers. Soon enough, Steve's hand was snaking under her t-shirt - warm and gentle as he kneaded her breasts. It was then, as Avery let out a happy whimper that Bucky started to stir.

Bucky tilted his head to the right, watching Avery chew on her lip while Steve sucked her neck and traced his hand down towards her thighs. He smiled at the sight.

"Don't hold back on my account, doll," Bucky said with a smirk, shifting to prop himself up on his right hand to watch. He pushed away the bed sheet that was hardly covering them anymore.

"Didn't mean to wake you up, Buck," Steve said apologetically.

"Sure, sure," Bucky replied, leaning in and finding Avery's lip to bite on. "Let me help." He pulled back and watched her happy reactions as Steve started to move down his boxer briefs. Avery's hand moved to the elastic of her underwear but Bucky was quicker as his left hand tugged them down for her.

Before she could even comprehend what was happening, Steve had grabbed her right leg and hooked it up over his own, lining himself up with her. Bucky on the other hand, still smirking like an idiot, traced his fingers along her, focusing on her sweet spot then —

"Oooooh, fuck," Avery gasped as Steve entered her while Bucky let his hand vibrate against her.

"Shit," Steve grunted out, pausing. "I can feel that, too.."

Bucky raised an eyebrow with pride, taking smug satisfaction in knowing he could make both of them feel good as they made each other feel good, too. He continued his actions as Steve worked his hips with more fervor. He kissed along Avery's back as Bucky found her mouth.

It wasn't long until Avery felt that familiar tingling feeling growing inside her. She whimpered again and again, letting Steve and Bucky take care of her. She was blissed out with feeling as they took turns eliciting noises from her but it was Bucky's smart mouth that pushed her over the edge.

"Come for us, doll. Let Stevie feel you."

Never in a million years would Avery ever believe her Saturday mornings might one day start with _this_. With warm, aggressive sex. With Captain America biting her shoulder as he came. With her shaking body being moved as one boyfriend finished and the other wanted his turn.

Bucky made sure she had caught her breath before he started, laying kisses across her body as she shifted to lay flat on the bed. Now it was Steve's turn to watch, propping himself up on his elbow like Bucky had before. Before Bucky could double check that she was okay with this, Avery was taking a hold of his hips and trying to bring him as close as possible.

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you know," she rasped out, pulling away from a kiss with Bucky and turning her head to look at Steve. He had a goofy grin on his face.

Bucky was always a bit more intense than Steve.

Sometimes it could feel like Bucky really needed the release. Not that he was ever pushy or negligent of Avery's needs but she could tell when it was something more for him. He locked his eyes with hers as he pushed in, bringing himself as close to her as possible, forehead to forehead. His right hand gripped her left thigh and she brought her hands up to run through his hair as his hips started to move.

He pulled himself up as Avery's breath grew more rapid. He kept his hands on her hips and motioned his head for Steve to help out, too.

"You got another one in you, sweetheart?" Steve's words were like a sweet honey. He nibbled on her ear and cautiously moved his right hand to her neck. "I love how you shook around me and I bet Buck wants to feel that, too."

Avery arched her back as he drawled into her ear, trying to drive herself even closer to Bucky. Steve's hand left her throat and found the spot between her legs.

"My hand doesn't vibrate but.."

Bucky just laughed as Steve tweaked his fingers, watching as Avery's chest heaved as he brought her to the edge. He didn't slow down as it hit her, instead Steve doubled down and attached his mouth to Avery's as she whined with pleasure then writhed under Bucky.

Bucky could hardly contain himself as they interacted. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes. Avery, baby, that's.. Incredible. You feel.." He picked up his own pace, fingers driving into Avery's soft thighs as he hit his own finish.

They all laid back flat for a few moments.

Avery let out a happy sigh and turned her head quickly to look between them. "If we could start every morning like that, I'll never need a cup of coffee again."

After a long (and distracting) shower, Avery was sitting crossed legged on Bucky's bed as the boys got dressed. She had pulled on a combination of clothes she had left in his apartment recently. Steve and Bucky shared clothes often and some of his own pieces found a home in one of Bucky's drawers, too. He settled on some khaki shorts and a plain white t-shirt, pulling on a short sleeve red plaid overtop, left open.

Avery started spouting off ideas of what they could do with their day when Bucky cut her off.

"I want to go to Jersey. For.. for Georgie's birthday," he said with a heavy exhale, looking from her to Steve. "But if we get there and I change my mind, I don't want an argument."

Avery's eyes grew wide with excitement and she nodded. She pulled herself up to sit on her knees. "Of course."

"We'll follow your lead, Buck," Steve added in, doing his best to contain his wide smile. He finished pulling on his shirt then wrapped his arms around Bucky.

Avery stood up on the bed and perched on the edge, wrapping her arms around both of them. Well, she tried to at least.

"Okay, okay. That's enough," Bucky tried to pull away but Steve held on, kissing Bucky's forehead.

Avery moved to hop off the bed, clapping her hands together. "Can we just grab breakfast sandwiches on the way then? Coffee, too. I do actually need to be caffeinated. Oh. And I have a perfect road trip playlist." She hurried out of the room and looked around, trying to collect her own things before heading down to her apartment. "I call shotgun!"

After consulting the GPS mapping system in the Jeep, Steve decided since it was such a nice day they would take a longer route along the coast to get down into New Jersey. Avery worked diligently as the unofficial DJ. She couldn't help but feel so happy to be doing this very normal activity with her boys. Not that their day to day lives weren't normal but going on an impromptu road trip just seemed like an effortless, easy last minute decision. The version of herself from a few months ago would have never had such an opportunity.

"Buck?" Avery twisted to look at Bucky as he sprawled across the backseat. She smiled and pushed her sunglasses onto her head when he met her eyes. She still wasn't a pro at reading him - she honestly wanted to start keeping a journal when his mood shifted - but could only expect his feelings to be a bit pulled in considering what they were driving to.

She had no freakin' clue what he might be feeling. But she wanted to try and put him at ease.

Bucky's hands were tucked into the pockets of his hoodie but Avery was relieved to see he was in shorts at least, considering the heat of late July.

"Yeah, doll?" A smile pulled up on his lips to match hers, though she noticed his eyes didn't match the look on his face.

"Would you tell me about George and your sisters?" She cut herself off before backpedaling and giving him an out. Of course he didn't have to tell her but she figured maybe opening up the conversation might be helpful.

Bucky took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sure. My memory is still pretty foggy but.." He took a few more moments to think. He knew this was part of being in a relationship - sharing about each other's lives. He knew everything about Steve and Avery was opening up more and more about herself so it was only fair for him to try and share, too.

"I was the first born," he started slowly. "I think Ma always wanted a big family, I'm surprised she didn't end up with ten kids. But four was a handful."

" _You_ were a handful," Steve added in, looking in the mirror.

Bucky smirked and continued. "Bec - Rebecca came after me. I think I was three or four when she was born. She was real smart, loved to climb and explore. A real pain in our neck as we grew up, though. She had a crush on Stevie for a long time."

"Really?"

Avery turned to look at Steve as he dropped his mouth open in surprise.

"Geez, you were that insecure huh, punk," Bucky laughed, nodding to Steve.

"Doesn't really matter - she wasn't the Barnes I wanted anyway." Steve was trying to hide his pink cheeks as Avery squeezed his shoulder.

Bucky's smile seemed to keep growing. "Then there was Harriet. She was a real princess, hated making a mess and loved helping in the kitchen. I'm sure she made a good mother herself when she grew up. And Georgie, well, he was the baby. Liked to cause trouble, too. He woulda just been finishing high school when I shipped out.."

He trailed off but Avery continued, gently, asking questions and letting him answer at his own pace. Steve joined in, too. He had plenty of stories to share about holiday dinners with the Barnes family and those instances where he and Bucky were responsible for babysitting. Avery wasn't sure what caused the shift in Bucky's tone but she was so happy to see him speak in such an excited way.

Steve pulled off at a public beach about halfway through their drive. None of them had prepared to get in the water but Avery did take the opportunity to discard her shoes and stick her feet in. Steve followed, kicking water at her as he swept her into his arms. She cried out playfully as he pretended to drop her in the water.

Bucky had followed slowly and was watching from the edge of the sand.

Avery's laugh mixing in with Steve's was the most enchanting sound to him. It drowned out the uncertainties and worries that sat heavy on his heart. It also scared the shit out of him. For so many years of his life - he was nothing, he had nothing. HYDRA took so much of him and when he found himself again, he often feared he'd have nothing to live for.

But seeing Avery and Steve just _living_ out loud in front of him was reminder enough.

He would always have plenty in his life now, especially if it included those two.

"Bucky!" Avery waved him over and he begrudgingly added his sandals to theirs and stepped into the water. "You know, aside from my collection of sneaky photos of your grumpy morning faces -

"Your what?" Bucky raised an eyebrow and grabbed for Avery's waist.

"Wait! I just want a picture. We have zero pictures together. Please? Humour me." She stood between them and thought. "I think you have the longest arms." She handed her phone to Steve then squeezed between them as he raised his arm to take a selfie. "Take a few, just in case!"

"In case Bucky is scowling in all of them," Steve said as he took a few more.

Avery gasped as she felt them both turn and kiss her cheeks in the last photo, too. "Sneaky."

"You love us," Bucky said quietly as he kissed her again.

She couldn't disagree with that.

* * *

The final leg of their drive took less than an hour. Millville was a small town in southern New Jersey with quaint houses, a quiet Main Street and community centres plenty.

They pulled into the parking lot of the West End Community Centre just before three. There were still plenty of cars crowding the building but Steve found a spot near the back. He rolled down the windows then shut off the car, shuffling to look back towards Bucky. Avery did the same.

Bucky had his eyes closed, bottom lip caught between his teeth and his right leg was bouncing up and down.

"I guess it's a good sign there's so many cars here.." Bucky mumbled. "Must be a lot of people who wanna celebrate with him."

Avery nodded. "The party ends at four so we can wait until people start to leave."

Bucky swallowed, extending his tongue across his lips. He let out a long exhale, like he was trying to empty his lungs. "I just need a few minutes." He slid to the side and pushed open the door, climbing out of the Jeep.

Steve and Avery did the same, though they waited near the vehicle while Bucky started to walk away towards a bench nearby.

"Well, what are the chances he fights through those voices in his head and we go inside?" Avery leaned against the back of the Jeep. Steve did the same.

"Pretty high, I think." Steve nudged her hip with his. "It just might take awhile for him to wind down."

She nodded and they stood there quietly, both trying not to watch Bucky directly. Nearly ten minutes later, he stood and walked towards them.

"Okay if we don't go in right now, I never will. So." He motioned his hand to the building. "What do I have to lose?"

Avery took a hold of Bucky's left hand - he was wearing a glove - and Steve gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze as they headed in the door. The foyer of the building was quiet but there was loud laughter and the shouts of happy children coming from a room down the hall.

Avery released Bucky's hand and took the lead ahead. They turned down the hall towards the main meeting space and set of double doors that were propped open. The meeting space doubled as a large gymnasium, it seemed. She realized the footsteps behind her had stopped and she turned to see Steve and Bucky standing close. Steve's hand cupped the back of Bucky's neck, forehead to forehead as they exchanged some quiet words. She turned away to give them their moment and paused at the small table just inside the doors. A younger boy sat there, leaning back in his chair as he glanced down at a game system in his hands.

While Avery waited to get the young boy's attention, she looked further into the open space. Large windows above streamed in bright sunlight throughout the echoing room. At one end, some children were running around in the middle of playing with a few basketballs. On the other end there was a sea of round tables - some unoccupied, some littered with leftover dishes. But they were all decorated in light green tablecloths with gold accents.

Since the event was wrapping up soon, there wasn't a huge crowd of people left. Avery was assuming everyone remaining was likely close family to the birthday boy and responsible for clean up afterwards, too.

"Oh my god, Brayden. You are supposed to be greeting people as they come in and encouraging them to sign the guest book. Look alert, punk." Avery pulled her eyes over towards the new voice as a woman about her age was rushing towards the table. She was dressed in a pair of black jean shorts and a plaid button-up, perfectly contrasting her dark blue hair. She had a familiar grin on her face as she met Avery's eyes. "Go help Aunt Win in the kitchen." The woman gave the young boy a gentle punch on the shoulder as he stood up and grumbled out an apology.

"You'll have to excuse my cousin," she continued, dropping into the chair that was previously occupied. "Sorry if you've been waiting long."

"It's okay," Avery said quickly, offering a smile to the girl.

"Please, if you don't mind signing the guestbook," she offered Avery a pen and tapped on the flat lined book in front of her.

Avery took the pen but didn't hurry to write. "Are you related to the birthday boy?"

"Yes. Oh god, right. Mom said to introduce myself to people outside the family." The woman stood up, extending her hand. "Jamie Barnes, great-granddaughter."

Avery took in a sharp breath, glancing down the hall to see Bucky and Steve heading towards her now.

Before she could shake Jamie's hand, there was a loud cry sounding out from the end of the gym where the children were gathered. "Oh. Sorry. I need to go intervene." She darted towards the crying toddler, arms wide. "Eva, babe. What happened?"

Avery let out a long breath and turned to Steve and Bucky. "Buck, I think I just met your niece. Your.. great-grandniece? I don't know."

Bucky's eyes went wide for a moment as he looked around the large room. Luckily, no one was looking at them. He knew there was still a chance they could turn around and forget this entire plan. As his heart started to race, he felt Avery's warm hand grab his own. He gave her a grateful smile.

"You ready?" She chewed on her lip, glancing from him to Steve.

Bucky shrugged. "As I can be.."

In his mind, Bucky was playing out every goddamn scenario he could think of. These people, though they were his family, might just send him away. They might laugh and ignore him. They might gasp and scream. He had no idea what they knew about him. If they knew about his past, what he had done. Nothing. When he had first been on the run, he did his best to keep a low profile and avoid finding out how his name was being thrown around in the media.

Then, after Steve worked so hard to clear his name and history from the mainstream, he hadn't worried very much. But now, it was sitting heavy on his chest.

"I know this is going to sound so silly but I believe in you, Buck," Avery pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. He gave her a quick smile in return and nodded. It was a silly thing but even sillier was that hearing her say it helped put him a bit more at ease.

Bucky headed into the room further. He had asked Steve to stay back with Avery so he could do what he needed to on his own. He counted his footsteps as he walked towards the table in the middle where an older man was sitting in a wheelchair. There were a few gold and silver balloons floating behind him and it was all Bucky could bear to focus on as he moved.

It felt like an out of body experience. He had no idea if anyone was watching him but he felt like the room had gone quiet. When he finally got to the table, his hands found a chair and he gripped the back of it as he swallowed hard.

He had no idea what to say but suddenly everyone seated at the table had turned to him.

"Mr. Barnes, I.. uhm. I.."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're the ghost of my big brother, son."

Bucky's legs felt like jello as the words hit his chest. Somehow, even after all this time and all these years, this 100 year old man sitting in front of him still sounded familiar.

He sounded like home.

Bucky took in a deep breath. "Georgie.. It is me. It's -

"James?"

Bucky watched as his brother raised his shaking hand up to his mouth which had opened wide in surprise.

"It's really you?"

George Barnes Jr., who had battled colon cancer and a stroke, who had disappeared for five years and come back, was gobsmacked. His hand shook as he moved to push himself back from the table slightly, his eyes not leaving Bucky.

The entire room _had_ gone silent but Bucky paid no attention. It felt like time had stopped entirely. He moved quickly over towards his brother, crouching down in front of him and reaching out for his hand.

"This is going to be hard to explain but -

_"It's really you._ There had been some rumors.. we thought it wasn't possible.." The tears welling in Bucky's eyes finally fell as George reached out to grab Bucky's face. "I can't believe it's you. "

Bucky took in a breath as a smirk grew on his face. "I can't believe you live in Jersey."

They remained just looking at each other, quiet tears on their cheeks, for a few more moments. They were only interrupted when -

"Oh my god! Steve Rogers signed the guest book!" It was Jamie, from the door. She was rushing over towards the table and came to a halt when she took in what was happening. "Gramps, do you know Captain America?"

Bucky laughed with a shake of his head then pointed to where Steve and Avery were standing on the far wall. "Oh. I brought Stevie, too. You remember him?"

And that was all it took. George called for his son and daughter to come to the table then word travelled quickly throughout all the family who was still there.

The heavy, crushing weight that had been suffocating Bucky disappeared in an instant as he met members of George's family. No, they were members of Bucky's family, too.

_His family._

He wound up in a conversation with his sister Rebecca's daughter, Winnifred. She filled Bucky in on her mother's life and all she had accomplished working as a secretary turned journalist for a newspaper in Albany. Bucky learned she had died from breast cancer in the 80s but was assured she had a warm, full life.

" _She always talked about you, always._ _She named my big brother after you and Captain America, her favourite war heros."_

He talked to Harriet's son, Franklin, who described his mother as someone who hung the moon. He glossed over their escape from her abusive husband but assured Bucky she had led a fulfilling life as a mother and grandmother.

" _She used to tell me her big brother James had the brightest blue eyes and always made her laugh. She missed you her whole life, I think._ "

But mostly, Bucky talked with George and his son and daughter. And their children and grandchildren. Steve sat with them too, happily soaking in the warm stories from the lives of their lost loved ones.

"Listen, Georgie, I don't know what you know about my story and what happened to me." Bucky needed to be honest, he needed to speak from his heart.

"All I know is that my brother James Buchanan Barnes was a sergeant who gave his life for our country," George was steady as he spoke. "I don't give a damn about the other stuff."

That didn't settle all of Bucky's worries but it was enough.

"That your girl?" George raised his hand slowly and pointed towards where Avery and Steve were standing across the room. The family had put a large collage of family photos together that were displayed on poster boards and Jamie was standing to narrate them. Bucky watched as Avery laughed and pointed to a photo then brought up her phone to steal a picture.

"Yes, that's our girl," Bucky confirmed quietly, watching Steve laugh along with her. Bucky supposed he didn't need to get into the specific details about their relationship with his elderly brother.

"Do you remember the Montgomery family? From down the street?" George clasped onto Bucky's hand.

"I think so," Bucky turned back with a smile. "One of those girls was in your class? With the red hair?"

"My sweetheart - Amelia." George spoke softly and thoroughly about his late wife and the full life they had shared together. "She made me feel whole. I miss her every day."

Bucky often didn't think about how lucky he had been to grow up with his parents as examples of a good relationship. He saw it especially now, reflected in George as he talked about his late wife. His mother loved hard - fully and entirely. And, well, George Barnes Sr. loved her just the same. Even though they didn't have the most everything, his family had been wealthy with love. And as he was welcomed into George's family - _his family_ \- Bucky was grateful for that shining example that led his life.

No one realized how much time had flown by until the party was slowly being taken down. Bucky excused himself from his brother and went to join Avery, Steve and Jamie across the room.

Avery cautiously wrapped her arms around his waist, as if to ask how he was doing.

"I'm okay, doll," he whispered, pulling her close to his side under his arm. "We've been invited to a barbecue. At.. someone's house. Your parents?" Bucky motioned to Jamie.

Jamie smiled. "Richard and Lydia? Yes, those two belong to me. Richard would be your great nephew. Grand nephew? I'm not sure the correct term.

"And who did that baby belong to you were holding earlier?" Bucky turned his gaze to Steve who sort of shrugged.

"I'm not entirely sure," Steve turned to Jamie. "I think it was -

"Sarah-Beth's son. An extended nephew." Jamie cut Bucky off before he asked. "I'll get you a full copy of the family tree, dear uncle. We had a family reunion about ten years ago and had a big genealogy chart done up."

Bucky laughed. "Thank you, Jamie."

"She's named after you, if you didn't catch on," Avery said as she looked up towards Bucky.

"Actually, there is a surprising repetition of both James and Steven throughout the family," Jamie shifted to look at Steve. "My dad and I talked about reaching out to you when you came out of the ice years ago. I'm sorry we didn't, though. Life just got in the way."

"No need to apologize," Steve answered her sincerely. "Today was enough."

Bucky couldn't agree more.

Many hands made light work as everyone pitched in to clean up and take down the party. It helped that Steve and Bucky could carry all the tables as if they were featherweight.

Most of the family transitioned to the backyard belonging to Richard and Lydia Barnes, which was just on the outskirts of town. They had a sprawling yard complete with an outdoor kitchen area, fire pit and string lights. They enjoyed dinner together. Steve and Avery played with the kids and a family dog in the backyard.

Someone brought out a photo album - a very old photo album - that had family photos and newspaper clippings. Then, a box was placed in front of him. He shifted in his chair to look over at Richard - _his great nephew? -_ who motioned to the box.

"This is a bunch of grandpa's old stuff," Richard paused and grabbed his beer, then tore off the lid.

George lived in a nursing home in town and Bucky had given him a long hug before saying goodbye. He cried, again and tried to argue Avery out of getting a picture. She stood her ground and demanded it, earning whole hearted approval and a kiss on the cheek from George himself before getting into the car with his son.

Richard still had a lot of boxes from his grandparents old house and told Bucky this one may interest him.

Inside it, under layers of old newspapers, were things Bucky actually remembered from his childhood. An old golden photo frame with a picture from his parents wedding day. A tattered Bible that belonged to his father. There was a small hairpin box that housed his old war medals with a newspaper clipping announcing his death.

But, all of that seemed to disappear when Bucky laid his hands on a small, brown leather journal. He picked it up as if it was going to break in his hands.

It had belonged to his mother. An old notebook she used to write in.

"Don't quote me on this but my guess is some of that stuff came from your old locker," Richard spoke quietly, looking into the box like Bucky did. "You should take the box. Dad isn't sure what to do with it all anyway."

"Thank you," Bucky responded just as quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn't open it past the first page, not yet. Just the sight of his mother's handwriting made his chest tighten.

The night eventually grew dark and a realization hit Bucky. He turned to Avery who was planted beside him, stuck in a conversation with another of Bucky's cousins.

"It's late," he said quickly, scanning the space for Steve. He was standing with Richard near the fire bit, laughing through a story.

"Steve booked a hotel room for us hours ago." Avery knew he was worried about having to drive back to the city. "Basically the moment you said hello to your brother we had made that decision. Tonight was not to be rushed." She leaned into Bucky's side, happy to feel him relax. "Admittedly I had packed a bag and Steve threw a duffle in the Jeep last night, too."

Bucky really couldn't believe how well the day had gone. He couldn't have done it without Steve and Avery at his side, either. He was so grateful for the balance they had developed, though it was still a work in progress.

They headed to their hotel just after ten, arms full of boxes and they all lost count of the hugs that had been encouraged.

"Should have warned you the Barnes family was so hug positive," Steve commented with a laugh as they walked into the hotel room. It wasn't much but they had at least lucked out on a king size bed.

Avery was droning on about finding a vending machine while Steve did a spot check of the room and area outside their window.

Bucky fell onto his back, creasing the crisp blankets on the bed. He yanked the glove off his left hand and rested his arm on his chest.

Avery matched his position on his left and Steve did the same on his other side.

"Avery and I can go for a walk if you need some time to decompress," Steve spoke quietly, turning his head to look at Bucky.

"That gas station will probably have better snacks than the vending machine anyway," Avery added in, propping herself up to look at Steve.

"Sweetheart, you had three cupcakes and a slice of pie after dinner. How are you still hungry?" Steve propped himself up the same to smirk at her over Bucky.

"Wow. Captain America and his attention to detail strike again." She stuck out her tongue. "They were red velvet cupcakes and they were delicious, okay?"

"Didn't see you touch the fruit salad though," Steve muttered out, raising an eyebrow.

"Steven!" Avery moved to lunge at him, holding back her laughter as Bucky stopped her.

"Can you two stop for a second," Bucky hooked Avery under his arm and pulled Steve to his side the same. "I don't need'ta decompress. Just want you two. Right here. If you can behave."

Avery mumbled something under her breath and Bucky held her tighter.

"You know, I did a PSA for elementary school kids about eating proper servings of fruits and vegetables."

"Steve." Bucky rolled his eyes.

Avery wiggled out from Bucky's grasp and climbed over him to tackle Steve. Their laughter bounced off the walls of the room and Bucky couldn't help but laugh, suddenly well aware there was no way to stop this from unfolding. This wasn't the first time their bed had transformed into a playground and it wouldn't be the last, either.

After Avery was thoroughly tickled and exhausted from fighting off Steve, all three of them collapsed into the bed again. They likely needed to shower and change but once they were intertwined, it was hard to think about moving.

"Did you have a good day, Bucky? All things considered?" Avery nuzzled up into his shoulder, pressing small kisses along his jaw.

Bucky smirked, pulling her close against his shoulder as Steve's head rested on his chest. Bucky ran his fingers through his blonde hair, eliciting a happy hum. "I had a great day, doll."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I took a lot of liberty with the Barnes family history here like we know he's the oldest of four and most people write him as having three sisters and I changed that - because hey! this is fanfiction, of course - but this whole chapter was really tough for me emotionally. I guess I was putting myself in Bucky's shoes here and while I painted a portrait of a happy Barnes family, this could have gone a lot of ways. I'm playing fast and loose with who knows what about Bucky's personal history but I hopefully created a believable scenario here. I just love the idea of Bucky bonding with his elderly brother so much. And some of this.. slice of life, coupley stuff is just too irresistible for me to write, SUE ME.
> 
> I know this didn't move a lot of the story forward but I assure you the action is coming. 
> 
> Thank you, as usual, to all of you for being here and following along. It means the world to me that you're invested in this story and have taken to Avery's character. I nearly cried when I saw we hit 10k views :') it's been such a nice escape for me to write this and I'm just.. thank you all.
> 
> Coming up: a plan to get more details about Harry Osborn is weaved together and Avery signs up a surprising plus one for the Gallery event. ~~don't be suspicious~~


	24. Protect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: there is a sex scene and if you squint there's even some nice light dominant Stevie, too.

"Are you okay?"

Avery blinked at her computer screen a few times before she realized that question was directed at her. Who else would it be directed at, anyway? She and Heidi were the only two sequestered away in their area of the office and it was rare anyone else came over to speak with them. She swallowed hard and shifted in her chair, spinning slightly to look at Heidi over their half cubicle divider.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," Avery replied finally, leaning down to prop her chin up on her hand.

The work day was nearly over and that was the only reason Avery felt _fine_. Fine. That was a laughable justification of her feelings.

She had just done something really stupid and was patiently waiting for a text from Steve that he was outside waiting for her.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

"Okay," Heidi replied cautiously. "You've just been really twitchy since you came up from that meeting with Will."

"I'm just a bit over caffeinated today," Avery said with a laugh. A laugh she hoped sounded natural and real and not forced. .

_I'm an idiot!_

Avery took a deep breath and nodded along as Heidi continued to talk about _something._ She wasn't really paying attention to her coworker and while Avery felt guilty for being a bad friend, she just couldn't stop her brain from racing.

Her phone buzzed with a short confirmation text from her dad about their dinner plans. She sent him a quick reply then resumed tapping her fingers and waiting for Steve.

Bucky was out of the country with Sam, Wanda and a few new agents. Avery pretended not to know they were in Wakanda but Steve had told her their destination just to put her at ease. She didn't know all the details of what was happening but she knew it had been last minute and there hadn't been a confirmed timeline of return. Which is why when Lou had called Avery to confirm plans for dinner with her, she had told him Steve would be joining them, not Bucky.

In any normal circumstances, Lou would have found it unusual for his daughter to bring a male friend to dinner and not her boyfriend. But Lou was the biggest Captain America fanboy so he didn't think twice about it.

Finally, her phone buzzed again and it was Steve telling her he was parked just across the street. Avery jumped up from her seat, narrowly avoiding knocking over a stack of file folders teetering on the edge of her desk. She mumbled out a quick goodbye to Heidi, wishing her a great weekend or something then she was flying towards the staircase.

She hurried through the foyer once she was on the main level and as she flew out the front doors, Avery ran straight into another person. She swore, loudly, as she took a few steps back. She raised her eyes up to see Harry Osborn himself running his hands across the front of his suit as if to collect himself.

"Oh, s-sorry, Mr. Osborn," Avery stuttered out, eyes wide. Her chest tightened as he gave her a small smile in return.

"It's Avery, right?" Harry tilted his head, waving off her apology.

"Yes." She nodded, faking a matching smile. She knew _he knew_ her name. His hesitance was obviously fake but she wasn't going to call him on it. They had met multiple times. Before he spoke again, Avery continued. "Sorry for the impact here, I'm just in a hurry. I've got to.. Dinner, boyfriend.." She craned her neck to see Steve waiting across the street in the Jeep, window down, sunglasses on.

"Sure, sure." Harry nodded, eyebrows raised. "I guess you'll be coming to the big Gallery event next week, huh. I just got a guest list update from Will. It's nice to see patrons interested in Oscorp. So I'll be seeing you, then?"

Avery nodded once more then hurried to the crosswalk up the street, stealing one glance back towards Harry as she did. He was watching her walk away, then he finally broke his gaze. Avery thought maybe his eyes briefly looked across the street to where Steve was but she couldn't be certain.

Harry Osborn just rubbed her the wrong way. From his slicked back hair to his smarmy smile. She started to wonder how and why he knew she was suddenly on the guest list for the event at Oscorp. It struck her as unusual that someone as important as Harry Osborn was paying attention to minute details like guests from Simonarc. She tried to shake it off as she joined a sea of pedestrians crossing the street.

"Hi doll," Steve turned and smiled at her as she climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her purse at her feet. He leaned over and met her lips. His eyes scanned across her as he pulled away. "What's going on?" He was referring to her earlier texts _and_ her current agitated state.

"I literally ran into Harry Osborn," Avery replied to him, leaning back into the seat and closing her eyes. "I just.. Hate that guy's vibe."

Steve sighed. "Yeah, I noticed he was talking to you."

"He already seems to know Will put me on the guest list for the Oscorp event next week," Avery carried on, tangling her hands in her lap. She sighed and turned to Steve. "Also, about that.."

"What happened? Is that what your text was about?"

She nodded. "It's not really bad news but I kind of messed up."

_Avery had been putting off speaking to Will all day._

_Steve had asked her if she could confirm a spot on the Gallery guest list next week, with a plus one. They hadn't figured out their logistics yet but if Avery was going, Steve and Bucky were not going to let her go alone. One of them would go with her, likely with some sort of disguise to conceal their identities just in case. It was something they were going to iron out when the team came back from Wakanda._

_Avery was confident about the entire thing until she actually went to speak with Will. She gripped a handful of files she was returning to him and smiled at his receptionist, who waved her in to knock on his door herself._

_Will hardly looked up from his computer screen as she entered. She walked towards his desk and dropped down the files, explaining she had saved the final reports on his server._

" _Thank you, Avery," he said quickly, eyes flashing up towards her again. "Is there anything else?"_

_Avery shifted on her feet, tugging on the sleeves of her sweater. "Yeah. I was just wondering.. Do staff still have the opportunity to get an invite for the Gallery event at Oscorp HQ next week?"_

_Will slowed down his typing and raised his head to look up at her. "We do, yes. Simonarc is one of the supplemental sponsors so we can add whomever we want to the guest list. You're interested in going?"_

_Avery nodded. "Mmhmm."_

_Will narrowed his eyes for a brief moment then smiled. "I'll add you to the list then. Do you need a plus one?"_

" _That would be great." Phew. Easy enough._

" _Your boyfriend?" Will pressed, typing onto his keyboard._

" _Uhm. Yes."_

" _His name?"_

_Avery opened her mouth to reply then stopped. "Uhmm."_

" _You don't know your boyfriend's name?" Will shot her a playful smile, raising an eyebrow._

" _Of course I do," Avery replied quickly. "He's just a private person and -_

" _I need a name for the list." Will leaned back in his chair. His face was stoic. "So?"_

" _Uhhh.." Avery chewed on her lip for a moment. "It's uh.. Grant. Grant Smith." She sighed but continued. "You probably don't remember but he's the same guy I said .. uh ghosted on me after a few dates. He was at that gala a little while ago.. Harry had asked about him.." She trailed off. "But uh, yeah. That's my boyfriend."_

_Will looked like he didn't believe her. But if that was the case, he didn't mention it. "Perfect. You'll both be on the list. Tell your boyfriend he'll need a piece of ID to get in."_

Avery squeezed her eyes shut as she finished telling Steve about the whole situation and how it had played out. She truly felt like an idiot for lying on the spot like that.

Steve just laughed at her, running one of his hands across the back of his neck as he considered what she told him. "Okay. Well, I guess Sam is the one going to the event with you, then."

"I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't know what to say - I just sort of blanked and didn't want to give your name or Bucky's. I hope this doesn't mess up your entire plan for that night or -

"Avery," Steve shifted to look at her, reaching a hand out to cradle her cheek. "It's fine. We haven't ironed out the details yet anyway. It's okay." That was the truth, of course. But Steve had been hoping to go with Avery and send Sam and Bucky to the warehouse site to gather intel. Now, well, things were going to change.

"The weirdest part of this whole scenario is that Harry already knew I was on the guest list. That guy just gives off the most uncomfortable energy." Avery leaned into Steve's hand, trying to ignore everything else. His touch was comforting - like a tether that helped her feel grounded.

Steve didn't want to admit he was having the same feelings and reservations - it was _weird_ that Harry had any interest in Avery and it wasn't something he was going to take lightly. But, for the time being, he knew if they continued talking about it her anxiety would just escalate.

Not that he wanted to just brush it all off. But for the time being, that's what they both needed.

"Let's not worry about any of that, okay?" Steve brushed his thumb against her cheek then pulled his hand away, looking down the street at the traffic. "Are you sure you want me to come to dinner?"

A long exhale escaped Avery. "Yes, more than anything. I want to.. I don't know. Considering how things went with Lora, I just want to be honest and straightforward with my dad as soon as possible about our relationship. This is the perfect opportunity to tell him in person so I can't chicken out." She sighed. "Steve, I honestly don't know how he's going to take it. I think he's going to be the toughest person to get on board about our trio."

"Well, we're in this together, Ave," Steve said, though his confidence was faltering. He loved Avery and Bucky and their evolving relationship. He had no doubts about it but there were still so many new challenges that came with it. Like revealing the state of their relationship to Avery's father - a man Steve had already developed a comfortable, respectable rapport with.

He was concerned about Avery, more than anything. Although she seemed to be handling her nerves and anxiety better now, or at least she started to be more honest with Steve and Bucky about how she was feeling, she still seemed on edge.

"My dad really loves this place out in Brighton beach," Avery carried on as they started the drive down through Brooklyn. "I know it's out of the way but I like to humour him."

Steve just smiled and assured her he didn't mind making the drive. Their small talk continued, as Avery carefully asked about how Bucky was doing and Steve carefully answered that things were going to plan. That was all he could care to admit to her. It's not like telling her the truth about why the team was in Wakanda - _rebels had crossed their border and put up a terrible fight for weeks and T'Challa finally needed some sort of intervention_ \- would help anything. He trusted that things were going well and the last check in he had from Sam and Bucky implied things were wrapping up soon.

Steve snagged a parking space in a public lot just down the beach from the restaurant. Avery tore off her blazer, leaving her in just the floral summer dress she had worn to work. She ditched her heels in the back of the Jeep and pulled out a pair of flat sandals from her bag. With one last look into the side mirror, she flattened out her hair before Steve grabbed her hand.

"You look great," he said with a smile, pulling her down towards the pathway on the beach. Her cheeks flushed pink and she squeezed his hand, pushing her sunglasses onto her head.

As they approached the restaurant, Avery spotted her dad sitting outside on the patio facing the water. Then, she saw he wasn't alone. Sitting beside him was her brother Nash.

She swallowed hard. Normally, she would be excited to see him but she didn't anticipate having to have this conversation with him, too.

"Hey," Steve squeezed her hand again then let go of it as she tensed. "Remember we're in this together, sweetheart."

"Yes, right. Thank you." Avery's words were quiet but she glanced over to give Steve a reassuring smile. "I'm so happy to have you by my side, Rogers."

Steve laughed, staying by her side as they bypassed the hostess and waved to both Lou and Nash sitting under an umbrella covered table. Avery settled into a seat across from her dad while Steve sat at her left, across from her brother. She spent a few moments scanning over both the men across from her for any extra wear and tear, just in case. It was a habit she couldn't break when it came to thinking of their well being. Nash was dressed in regular civilian clothes and Lou had on a relaxed button up and slacks.

They both looked happy.

Steve wasn't really sure how this was going to go. He wanted to reach out and put his arm behind Avery's chair, resting a hand on her shoulder and tracing soothing circles into the freckled skin. But, when he heard her order immediately order a margarita, he decided it was up to her to take the lead. Clearly she was medicating her own worries with alcohol and he didn't want to add to her nerves by making a public display of affection. Instead, he rested his hand on her knee under the table.

Avery was grateful for his touch. Again, it helped anchor her to reality and remind her he was _right there_.

They all caught up quickly after ordering some food. Steve asked Nash about how things were going at the base. Lou spoke about his meetings earlier that day - because for a retired army general he was still very involved in various committees and subgroups. Avery spoke about the bachelorette party, vaguely. It was all comfortable and easy.

"Avery, there was a reason I hijacked your dinner date with dad," Nash shifted forward in his chair, pausing for a moment to glance at his father then to Steve and Avery once more.

"What? That's a bad news face," Avery replied to him quickly, narrowing her eyes. She studied her brother's face intently. She had never noticed the wrinkles on his forehead before or the faint scars on his cheeks. Suddenly, he looked so much older than she remembered. He looked weathered. He looked like his time as a soldier had left a very real mark on his soul.

"It's not bad news, really," Nash sighed, taking a sip of his beer. "I'm going overseas soon."

Avery felt like her throat was going to close up. Her eyes grew wide as she took in his words. "What? Where? Why? For how long? When are you going? Please don't tell me you're going to miss the wedding. That's not fair to Lora and -

Nash held up his hand to cut her off. "Woah, one thing at a time, Avery Ray."

Avery felt Steve squeeze her knee again. She fiddled anxiously with the utensils on the table, clutching the fork as she took a deep breath. "When do you leave?"

"A few days after the wedding," Nash answered her with a smile. "My CO wasn't happy about it but -

"But that man owes me plenty of favours so there was no issue," Lou jumped in, crossing his arms across his chest. Avery gave her dad a soft smile.

"How long is the tour?" Steve wanted to give Avery a moment of pause so he jumped in, too. "Are you going to an active zone?"

Nash sighed, shifting his jaw back and forth. "I mean, I can't say exactly where, of course. But, yes, it's an active military zone."

Steve could see Avery tensing up again. He moved his hand from her knee to above the table, clutching onto hers as she gripped her cutlery. Nash had given Steve a pretty thorough history of his time in the military back on the July 4th weekend. From what he recalled, Nash hadn't been overseas in a long time. He had done a lot of recovery duty in North America after the first snap and again after the unvanished returned. The US Army had been a huge player in relief across the country. Though after hearing about Nash and his friends having been picked for specialized training a few months ago, Steve could understand why he was going to be shipped out.

"It's his job, Avery Ray," Lou said slowly. He was closely watching her across the table and was particularly curious to see how Steve was helping her go through her emotions.

"I know that," Avery said quickly, doing her best to not get worked up. She wanted to say more, she wanted to _snap_ at her father and his tone but she couldn't. "That doesn't help this alarming feeling in my brain."

Lou frowned, leaning forward in his chair. "You've got to stop thinking like that, Avery. Your brother has chosen to serve this country and your worries about him don't make this easier for any of us. You're always so nervous when you don't have to be. Our boys are trained well and they go over there knowing exactly what might be in store."

"I know, I know," Avery repeated, shaking her head. "I just.. It's a lot." She chewed on her lip. She didn't want to be nervous and worry all the time. If she could turn it off, she could. Her father tried to be more understanding, usually. She took a deep breath and looked towards her brother. "I'm proud of you, Nash." She knew that's what she needed to say. It was what her dad needed and wanted to hear.

"It's only natural to feel worried, of course," Steve said, mainly to defend Avery's feelings. "As prepared as you might be, war is still war." He continued to hold Avery's hand, rubbing his thumb across her smooth skin. Maybe it was too much, maybe it was too personal. But he didn't really care. "How long are you gone for?" He was hopeful a shift to discussing Nash would keep Avery out of the conversation for a few moments.

"We're scheduled for four months," Nash started, turning his attention to Steve. Luckily, Steve's prying questions worked. He knew exactly what to ask to engage both Nash and Lou into military talk, instead of anything regarding how Avery might feel about the situation. And boy, was she grateful for it.

They all knew why the red flashing alarm was going off in her mind. The last time someone in their family went overseas, he didn't come home. Avery knew they were all thinking about Jeremy, but no one wanted to say express that out loud.

She couldn't lose Nash, too.

Their food arrived soon enough and in the chaos of plates going down on the table and beer bottles being replenished, Avery stood and excused herself to the washroom. Before she did, as if it was an instinct, she leaned in and pressed a kiss against Steve's cheek. She held her breath and hurried away, praying to God that her dad hadn't seen that as he requested some steak sauce for his meal. Avery talked herself out of a spiral as she washed her hands, knowing that even if her dad or brother caught the kiss on Steve's cheek, it would be a transition point to the conversation she was avoiding.

When she got back to the table, all three of the men were talking like normal. She caught Steve talking about Bucky, actually.

"He's been gone for most of this week with the team," Steve confirmed, cutting into his own steak that sat on his plate.

Nash nodded along, asking a few questions about what they travelled in which somehow lead to the start of a discussion about military avionics.

Avery picked at her pasta dish and rested her hand on Steve's knee under the table. Steve stole a glance her way and smiled.

"So, is this what you do while your boyfriend is away, Avery Ray? Flirt with another man?" Lou let out an awkward laugh, putting down his cutlery and crossing his hands over his plate. He looked from his daughter to Steve.

"Dad!" Avery's eyes grew wide as he spoke. "That's not.. Do you think that little of me?"

"I love you, Avery Ray, but I know your brain is a mess right now so maybe you're trying to fill some void or chase some thrill. But it's inappropriate and disappointing."

"Dad," Avery repeated sternly. "That's not what this -

"Your mother and I raised you better than that," Lou continued, shaking his head again. He let out a low series of swear words. "It's one thing to cheat on your partner but to parade it in front of your brother and I -

"Lou." This time it was Steve cutting him off. He wasn't going to let this get any further, especially when Avery was closing up. With shoulders square, eyes narrowed ahead, he continued. "I'm dating Avery."

"Son, please," Lou held up his hand. "It takes two to tango but -

"Dad," Avery spoke louder this time. "Steve's right. We're dating. I'm with both him _and_ Bucky, okay? Now please, stop."

That did shut Lou up, finally. Nash, who had been quietly watching everything unfold, dropped his knife.

"What? Is this a joke? How are you dating both of them?" Nash raised an eyebrow and stared at Steve, though his question had been directed at his sister.

"I don't need to explain the logistics of our relationship to you," Avery continued, taking in a deep breath. "I just want to be honest with you both and hope you can keep an open mind."

"You go to the movies or cook dinner together or go on dates? With three people?" Nash wasn't even listening to his sister anymore, pausing to take a bite of his dinner. Using his fork, he motioned between Avery and Steve. "I don't like this."

"Well, frankly, we don't need your approval," Steve replied, steady and calm.

Lou just laughed, angrily cutting into his steak. "Okay. Fine. If this is.. If this is what you think you want, Avery."

Avery tilted her head and met her dad's eyes. "What does that mean?"

"I think both Bucky and Steve are perfectly respectable gentlemen. But now I can see this must just be some strange phase and you're still working through a lot of stuff in that head of yours. We'll look back on this whole thing in a few years and laugh but may as well let it play out." Lou nodded to himself, taking a long gulp of his beer. "This won't last very long."

Avery kept her eyes locked on her dad then slowly turned to Steve. "Can you give us a few minutes?" Her eyes darted to Nash, too. "Both of you."

Nash grumbled and stood up. Steve gave her an apprehensive glance then did the same when she nodded to assure him she was okay.

Lou didn't watch as they left, nor did he look at Avery. Instead, he looked out towards the beach and the water nearby.

Avery cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Daddy," she started quietly. "Can you just listen to me for a few minutes."

Lou's demeanor shifted as she spoke so softly. He was having a difficult time processing. This was his little Avery Ray, the sunshine of his life, eyes pleading for understanding. He sighed.

Avery reached across the table for his hand. "I know this is really confusing and maybe doesn't make a lot of sense to you. I can't make you understand this but.. I just want you to know, with sincere honesty, that this is what I want and this makes sense _to me_. And that is all that matters."

"Avery," Lou sighed. "I'm sorry but this is a recipe for disaster. Two boyfriends?"

"Daddy," she repeated the old sentiment, keeping his attention. "Please. Haven't you always wanted me and Lora to find partners who are loving and kind and protective and supportive? You said I need a man who makes me laugh and will take me seriously when I cry and.. I know it's weird and sort of crazy but I really lucked out because I found _two_ people to care for me in that way."

Finally, Lou's face seemed to soften as he looked at his daughter across the table. He squeezed her hand. "If you are happy, I will be happy for you, Avery Ray. But don't expect me to immediately be on board with all of this."

"All I want is for you to think of this from my perspective," Avery sighed and pulled her hand away.

"If those two are forcing you into this or making you feel -

"Dad," Avery cut him off forcefully. "Please, listen to me. We are three consenting adults who are choosing to do this. I love Bucky and Steve and- " She rolled her eyes as Lou scoffed. "Just try to be understanding. For me, please."

This was a delicate balance. Avery let her dad stay quiet for a few moments. She sipped on her margarita, desperately wishing it had just been four straight ounces of tequila instead. Eventually, Lou seemed to concede. His shoulders slumped forward with another heavy sigh.

"I know well enough there is no changing your mind, Avery Ray. So fine. I will try to keep an open mind." He took a deep breath. "I guess I can get on board with the idea of Captain America dating my daughter. I suppose if you're going to date any soldier, picking two national war heroes is the right way to go." Lou's attempt at humour was comforting and Avery offered him a small, reluctant smile.

It was the least he could do and Avery supposed this whole thing could have gone way worse.

She didn't love how things were left lingering. There were many inconsiderate phrases that had escaped her dad's mouth but she was too tired to argue.

At least no one had yelled at each other or cried.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Avery muttered out quietly as they walked into her apartment after dinner. Their car ride back to Brooklyn had been pretty silent.

Steve removed his shoes and turned to Avery as she leaned against her kitchen counter. "I'm not sure what you're apologizing for."

"Steve." She sighed. "You're so humble and you're putting on a great facade here but you and I both know you're dealing with the hardest part of this relationship and it isn't fair."

Steve didn't respond but simply reached for her hand and dragged her towards the couch. He sat at the far end, legs stretched out, and tugged her down to lay against him.

He couldn't disagree with what she had said. Avery's family had already accepted _Avery and her boyfriend Bucky._ For her to now try and explain that she was _also_ dating Steve was not something everyone was going to understand or accept. Despite his already comfortable rapport with Avery's brother and father, their judgemental commentary and stoic glares had left him feeling a different way.

"It's not fair," Avery repeated quietly as she hugged his chest.

"Avery," Steve started slowly. "You can't control how people outside of our relationship perceive it. You said yourself that Lou would likely be the hardest person to get on board about the three of us. Frankly, I can understand where he's coming from."

"It's just.. you don't deserve that kind of judgement."

"You realize you don't either, right?" Steve moved his hand to tip Avery's chin up to look at her. "Your dad said a lot of alarming things about your mental health and that wasn't fair or acceptable either. I know you're worried about how I'm feeling but I could take or leave your family. Especially if they're going to make _you_ feel less than because of our relationship."

Steve's forward honesty wasn't surprising but was a bit jarring to stomach. He was right, too. Avery was incredibly worried about how Steve was feeling and was doing a top notch job ignoring her own emotions. She didn't deserve the commentary or judgement either.

"The last thing I want is for me and Buck to be the reason you don't speak to your dad, sweetheart," Steve continued, cradling her face and sweeping his thumb across her flushed cheeks.

"I don't think that'll happen," she replied with a flash of a smirk. It faded just as quickly as it appeared. "I think he's just going to need some time to adjust. I know he likes you and Bucky - a lot - but the idea of three people dating is a new concept to him."

"Your brother, on the other hand, said some pretty choice words to me when we left you and Lou at the table. We talked it out but -

"I'll kill him," Avery muttered out, pushing herself off of Steve. "Where is my phone?"

Steve was quick to grab her hand and pull her back down. "Hey, stop that. Have you always immediately resorted to violence or are you spending too much time with Bucky?" He hugged her close against him, tickling her hips. She pushed up again and met his eyes, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"There has always been a fire within me," Avery admitted. "I wouldn't say I _always_ resorted to violence. With my brother though, sometimes it was the easiest way to get through to his thick skull."

Steve kissed along her jaw as she spoke. "How's that fire in you now?"

"I'm burning up, baby," she said with a laugh, yelping as Steve shifted, grabbing her hips so she was straddling him as he sat back on the couch.

She sat back on his knees, drawing her fingers up his chest. "Will you stay over tonight?"

"Of course," Steve replied quickly. He had no intention of leaving her alone after such a strange evening. Though, he mainly never wanted to leave her alone, anyway. He often dreamed of a future where they all shared one apartment. One home. One bed.

Avery shifting forward against his hips pulled his mind back. Her little floral dress was bunching up at the waist and Steve's hands found a place to rest on her exposed thighs. His fingers moved slowly across her skin.

She reached her hands out and carted her fingers through Steve's hair then down to scratch against his beard. He hummed happily - her touch was warm and comforting. His eyes were so bold and blue and she scanned them as he bore into her, tweaking his lips into a smile.

"Your eyes are beautiful," she said softly, moving her thumb up to run near the gentle lines that formed as he smiled. "Bucky's eyes are like the night sky but yours.. are like getting lost in the ocean."

Steve's eyes seemed to dull as he listened to her. "Do you miss him?"

Avery sighed. She rolled her hips forward against him to get closer, resting her forehead on his. "Of course. I've gotten very used to having you _both_ around me. But my missing Bucky doesn't mean I don't enjoy spending time with you too. You know that, right?"

Steve chewed on his lip for a second then nodded.

Avery was getting better at reading him. After the strange dinner conversation with her dad, she could only guess how Steve was feeling but she imagined some doubts and insecurity were surfacing.

"I know," Steve tried to dismiss her.

She whispered out his name. "Tell me what's going on."

He laughed awkwardly. "I didn't mean to.." He lost his thoughts as she pulled away, leaving her hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

"It's your turn to be honest, Stevie."

"You and Bucky were together first, Ave. I lift right out of the whole equation and I can't help but think there's a time limit on all of this." Maybe the words Lou Felix had spoken were weighing on him.

" _You_ and Bucky were together first!" Avery took a deep breath and leaned into his lips. She took her time, savouring the taste as he chewed on her lip. "No one lifts out. The way I see it, we're all fucked here and none of us have really clued in yet. I'm falling more and more in love with both of you and you'll never be able to get rid of me. Do you know how goddamn scared I was that night in the cabin? When Bucky called you over to the bed with us? It was like waiting for my dreams to come true _and_ waiting for them to crash at the same time. How lucky am I to get both of you." She sighed happily. "Not only that, I had one boyfriend I was so happy and comfortable with and with you, there was no awkward getting to know you period for us. You just.. It all just made sense." She took another breath. "I'm not going anywhere, Stevie baby. And neither are you. We're all in this together. Bucky is stuck with us."

Avery just stared at him, losing her confidence as his eyes stared into her own. "I'm sorry for rambling when we were talking about your feelings. I just don't want you to -

Steve cut her off this time, crashing his lips onto hers as he gripped her waist. He pulled her closer against him, slowly helping her to grind her hips. A guttural moan rumbled through Steve's chest. With Avery's skirt hiked up, there were only a few layers of fabric separating them and as his hands moved to pull away the top of her dress, he was growing hard against her. Their lips were like magnets, as if they couldn't breathe each other in deeply enough.

Avery tasted like leftover tequila and her strawberry lip balm and the future.

Steve's hands, rough and large, splayed against Avery's back as he held her close. His mouth moved down, nibbling on her bottom lip then sucking on her collarbone.

"Oh, oh," Avery sang out as he explored, biting against her skin. His hands roamed, one tugging at her hair and the other shoved away her bra, tweaking a nipple between his calloused fingers. Avery rocked against him, desperate to alleviate the ache that was growing within her.

"Steve," she whined out his name again and again, peppering in plenty of swear words as he bit and marked her skin.

Before he could even understand what was happening, Avery shifted her weight further back on his thighs and started to unbuckle his belt. Steve helped to push down his pants and boxers, freeing himself. Avery grabbed his length and moved her hand against him, smiling as another moan rumbled out of his chest.

"I need you," he whispered out, bunching up her skirt. Avery just nodded in agreement, pushing herself up slightly. Steve gripped her hip with one hand and used the other to pull her underwear to the side, guiding her onto him.

"O-ohh my god, Stevie," Avery moaned and closed her eyes as she sunk down, leaning against his chest. "Fuck."

He laughed at her reaction, holding her tight against him and nipping at her neck. She rolled her hips and pushed off his chest, groaning as she adjusted to him.

"No, no. Just stay here for a second." Steve's tone was warm but a touch domineering. Avery chewed on her lip and locked eyes with him as he steadied her waist.

_Oh._ Oh, she _liked_ Steve being in charge.

Steve leaned back and closed his eyes tight, bucking his own hips upwards. Avery whimpered but stayed, then sighed happily as Steve helped guide her hips up and down, slowly.

"Fuuuck," Steve called out loudly, moving one of his hands up to paw at her chest. "Avery." He groaned. "You're so fucking tight."

Avery giggled and leaned forward again, allowing Steve to control his pace and thrust into her. He was hitting her just where she needed it and as she was growing close to a climax, Steve's phone started to ring.

"Oh my god, old man. Who leaves their ringer on," Avery chided him as she caught her breath, yelping when he squeezed her waist.

Steve slowed her down but held her still again as he reached for his pants pocket. He grabbed his phone then kicked off his pants, all the while Avery remained seated on his length. Her dress was pulled up at the waist, revealing just her bra that was not covering anything after Steve had torn at it.

"I'm the safety check in for the team this week so that's why my volume is on," Steve glanced at the screen to see Bucky's name. He brought the phone to his ear and pinched at Avery's breast to stop her from teasing.

"Hey Buck," Steve answered breathlessly. "Everything okay?" It was the middle of the night in Wakanda.

"Yeah, we finished dealing with the rebels earlier today actually. T'Challa had us up celebrating so I'm finally crawling into bed. Ave didn't answer my texts so I hoped you were together at least."

Hah. Together.

"We are," Steve replied with a smirk. "Hold on. Let's switch to video."

"Steve!" Avery gasped and tried to climb off of him but Steve pulled her back down. She whimpered again, rocking against him.

Steve extended his hand out to the side and tipped the camera down slightly, revealing the top of their bodies to Bucky. He could see Avery's dress was very dishevelled and her bra wasn't doing much of its job, either.

"Jesus Christ, are you really.."

Avery looked towards the phone with a shy smile as she moved on top of Steve. The look on Bucky's face was one of awe, surprise and desire.

"And here I thought I was the inappropriate one of the group," Bucky continued. "I guess that's up for debate now."

Avery continued to move on Steve, suddenly enthralled by the idea that Bucky was sort of there with them.

"We miss you, Buck." Steve handed his phone to Avery so he could focus - one hand guiding her hips, the other dipping in between them to bring her closer to the edge.

A groan came through the speakers of Steve's phone.

"I want a repeat of this tomorrow," Bucky's voice was raspy and muffled. Avery watched as his camera moved and he laid down on his bed. "Stevie? Grab her ass for me."

Avery gasped as Steve did as requested, reaching around her to firmly grab her ass. She was sure those handprints might last for the rest of the night, at least. He picked up his pace.

"S'only fair, Buck. Touch yourself?" Avery was breathless but looked at the camera directly with a coy smile.

Like he could argue with her sweet request.

"Already way ahead of you, doll."

* * *

Following the mission debrief back at the compound, Bucky was desperate to get back to the city. Somehow, this mission away felt different than before. During the flight back, as he sat opposite Sam in the cockpit of the jet, he realized why.

He had been so caught up in his relationship with Steve and Avery that leaving them felt cruel. It was the first time he'd be away from them both like this. He was comforted in knowing they had each other yet he also felt envious they still kept on with their normal routine without him.

Bucky knew they missed him. Of course they did. But he still felt like he was missing out. Was it so bad he just wanted to spend all his time with the two of them?

He was planted in one of the arm chairs across from Steve's desk, listening as Steve told him all about the dinner the night before.

"Well, I already know I wasn't in Nash's good books," Bucky laughed, giving Steve a sympathetic gaze. "I don't know if it would have been easier if I was there, too."

Steve shrugged. "Might have been worse, really."

"But Avery's okay?"

"Yeah, she handled it all really well. She's more worried about me, I think," Steve concluded, leaning back in his chair.

"I am too, Stevie. I know this hasn't been easy," Bucky said slowly, standing up and walking to the other side of the desk. He was still in his tactical gear - heavy black pants and boots, but he had stripped down to just his white tank on top. He leaned against the desk and turned Steve in his chair. "You okay after all that?" Bucky ran his hands through Steve's hair and rested it against his cheek.

"You know, I was worried when it would all be on the table with Avery's family but it feels like a relief. Honestly." Steve looked at him with an honest smile. "I'm doing fine."

Bucky narrowed his eyes and scanned Steve's face, looking for a fracture of untruth. But, Steve just grinned. Bucky leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Steve sent Bucky on his way after they spoke a bit more about Wakanda. He was staying at the compound to discuss some strategy plans with Sam and Sharon, but encouraged Bucky to take the bike home to see Avery. So after a quick shower and changing into some civilian clothes (jeans, a plain t-shirt and his leather jacket), Bucky hightailed it to Brooklyn.

He knocked quickly on 509 and opened the door to find Avery standing in front of her kitchen island. In front of her was at least half a dozen new, large plants.

"Bucky, hi," Avery said excitedly. She carefully placed down the small shears in her hand and rushed over to greet him at the door, happily being consumed by his arms. "I didn't even know you were headed home."

"I told Steve to keep it to himself," he replied with a laugh. He ran his hands through her hair then cradled her face, meeting her lips with his. She hummed happily into him. "Missed you, doll."

Her face scrunched into a smile as she pulled away slightly, staring up at him. "I missed you, too, Buck." She nuzzled into his chest again then grabbed his hand and pulled him further in, back towards her kitchen area. "How did everything go?"

She was mainly asking to make sure he was okay, mentally and physically. She paused to scan over him and everything looked normal enough.

He grinned then squeezed her hand. "It went safely." That was all he would let himself say, at least.

"Good." She tilted her head. "Is your arm.. More shiny than usual?" She pulled up his left arm and rotated it in the sunlight.

"Shuri did a full diagnostic review and switched out some plates," he replied with a laugh. He flexed his arm and wiggled his fingers as the mechanism gently whirred. "I guess she gave it the equivalent of a carwash, too." He swept his eyes over the swath of new greenery on her island. "What's all this? Did you rob a flower shop?"

Avery couldn't help but blush in embarrassment. "No. I just… got carried away today." She sighed and ran her fingers along some of the green leaves. "Bea and I went to the market earlier and this little shop had a great sale and I was looking for a nice distraction anyway so.. Suddenly I was taking home a large tray of new plants. This is a pilea and a pothos and.." Slowly she trailed off, looking up to see Bucky smirking. "Since you are here and clearly so amused, you can help me do some re-arranging." Avery motioned for him to pick up one of the potted plants and follow her to the living room.

"What did you need a distraction from, doll?" Bucky watched as she talked out loud about which plant should go where, and which needed the most direct sunlight.

Avery sighed and glanced back at him. "Oh, just… overthinking about dinner last night with my dad. And the wedding. And this work stuff. And I applied to a bunch of grad programs this morning and I've suddenly convinced myself there is no way anyone will accept me and -

Bucky took in what she was saying then shook his head, eyes wide. "Grad programs? I didn't know you were looking at going back to school, Ave. That's great."

She sighed and turned to him with a smile. He looked so cute standing there with the small green plant in the white speckled planter. He held it carefully, as if it might break in his hands. "Well, we know I can't work at Simonarc for much longer. Even if I happen to get into a program, I have no idea how I'll be able to pay for it or pay to live here anymore and.. I don't know. It's all a big question mark but it's been sending my mind on a hundred different tracks."

Bucky appreciated her honesty. She was wearing a hopeful smile but he could sense her apprehension and hesitance. He asked more questions about her week and dinner and the schools she applied to. She was in good spirits, mostly, and he was happy to see that.

Once she was pleased with her latest rotation of plants, Bucky grabbed a small bag from his jacket pocket, leaving the jacket hanging off a kitchen chair.

Avery was gazing at her phone screen but looked up with a smile as Bucky sat beside her on the couch, pulling open the small drawstring of the bag. She slowly put her phone down on the coffee table and her eyes followed his hands as they pulled something out of the bag.

"I got you something in Wakanda," Bucky started. His chest heaved with warmth as Avery looked at him with an excited smile.

"Weren't you there to fight bad guys?" She tilted her head as a chain dropped from his hand, bouncing once before swaying momentarily in the sunlight. The necklace was a dark metal, something she wasn't familiar with and at the bottom there was a round pendant. It appeared to be made of the same metal.

Bucky grabbed the pendant with his right hand, running his thumb across it as it sat in his palm. "I had some free time and someone much smarter than me designed this for you."

Well, Shuri's exact words were ' _Yes, of course, I can make your girlfriend a necklace, white man. What idiot thing did you do to upset her, anyway?'_

Avery shifted closer to look at the object in his hand. The pendant was the same color as Bucky's arm and there was a delicate design etched on in gold.

"There is this plant in Wakanda.. I'm going to pronounce this incorrectly but I think they call it ama.." He paused, looking up in thought. "Amagqabi-thathu. It basically just means three leaves." He traced his index finger across it, outlining the details of the three-leafed plant. "I know it's kind of silly.. But you an' me an' Stevie.. The three of us, you know?'

"It's beautiful," Avery said quietly, tracing her fingers across it the same way. "You didn't have to.." She was really lost without an end to that sentence. She wasn't sure if he had spent money on the gift but she was blown away by how thoughtful it was.

"It's one of a kind," Bucky continued with a small smile. "Here." He motioned for her to spin around and she complied, pulling her hair to the side so Bucky could clasp it as he rested it against her chest. She quickly turned back to show it off to him and she was beaming. "It's special, though. Let me show you.."

Bucky grabbed the pendant and flipped it over. "I know you wear your brother's tags when you're feeling anxious. And I don't want this to replace that, of course. But.. if you press your thumb against the back.."

Avery did as he instructed, pressing her thumb to the back of the round metallic piece and after a moment, she felt it vibrate briefly. She dropped it against her chest and gave Bucky a confused glance. He was smiling.

Then, like something magical, the pendant began to hum and a wash of warm blue light emitted from it like a growing blanket. Then, just as quickly the light faded but a gentle vibration continued. At first Avery was thrown by the feeling then it was a soothing comfort, like a weight applied to her chest.

"They use this technology to help sooth sick babies or anyone feeling emotional trauma," Bucky said quietly. "But it feels like a shield or something, a protective layer to calm your nerves. If you don't like it, you don't have to -

"Bucky, I love it," Avery replied just as quietly, placing her thumb on the back again. She slid forward and threw herself against him, sending him back against the couch. He laughed as her mouth met his. She bit her lip as she pulled away, tilting her head with another smile. "I love that you thought of me and… I don't think anyone has ever bought me jewelry before."

"I know it's really not much," Bucky stuttered out, moving his eyes down from her face to the necklace.

"Stop that, it's.. Everything. It's you and Steve and me and.. It's us." She met his mouth once more, suddenly incredibly desperate to just drink him in.

Bucky didn't hesitate to respond to her lips, moving one of his hands to the back of her head and letting the other travel down to her hip, grabbing tightly and shifting so she was straddling his lap. Avery fell deeply into his kiss, letting her hands travel to his neck and hair, tugging gently. She held onto him like he was going to disappear under her hands.

"Really missed you, doll," Bucky rasped out as Avery's mouth moved to his neck. "You and Stevie showing off on this couch? Killed me."

"That was all Steve," Avery said with a laugh as she thought back to the video call the night before, leaving a wet kiss against Bucky's neck. "He was the boss last night."

"Oh yeah?" Bucky growled in her ear. "Can I be the boss now then?"

"Yes, please."

* * *

Steve tried really hard to let himself have weekends. He had a notorious history of overworking and once he and Bucky had settled into a routine, he was insistent they do normal things like spend weekends together.

Saturday ended up being an exception to the rule.

Somehow, Steve wound up in the Manhattan office with both Bucky and Sam. He told them to take the day off, considering their week in Wakanda had been so trying, but they both shushed him and jumped right in.

"Okay." Steve rubbed his hands together as he leaned forward on the table, looking over the blueprints for the warehouse. "Sam and Avery will be at Oscorp HQ for seven. The goal is to gather intel and more importantly, keep an eye on Harry Osborn and Will."

Sam nodded, arms crossed over his chest. "Agent Ramirez is getting a footprint online for our mysterious Grant Smith as we speak."

"Perfect," Steve replied with a nod. "Buck, you, me and Scott will go to the warehouse. The goal is to go on sight unseen and try to get down that elevator."

Bucky exhaled deeply and turned on his chair to look at Steve. "And the kid is certain there has only been one guard at night?"

"Pete's been watching for the last two weeks. One guard with a rotation at 23:00."

Bucky nodded his understanding. "Hopefully this should work."

Sam huffed. "It better. It feels like we are this close." He pinched his fingers together.

"All we need to get is some evidence of what is going on down there then we can plan for an extraction and take down. My biggest fear is toppling this over now and having them move locations." Steve paused to take a sip of his coffee. "Hey, what did Shuri say about the sleytium?"

Bucky and Sam both exchanged a look then laughed.

"She called it a cheap vibranium knockoff and nearly chewed my head off for even bringing that sample to her lab," Bucky said with a smirk. "She said the hardest part of working with a new alloy like that is having no substantial history. They've been working with vibranium for centuries so they know exactly how it reacts to what and what the body can handle. Meanwhile, these idiots are rushing to test it on humans and even though there's been some success, who knows what it'll do to a person." Bucky tapped his finger on the table. "Is there going to be an opportunity to punch Will or Harry in the face, do you think?"

Steve threw Bucky a _look_ then sighed. "I'm just looking forward to this whole thing being over. I don't like that they're producing some chemical weapon that mimics physical enhancements. Imagine the kind of people they're trying to sell this stuff to."

They all paused for a moment, likely thinking of the exact same worse case scenario that Steve was implying. Organized crime gangs, HYDRA wannabees, twisted military personnel from any kind of country. It was one thing to sell illegal weapons but it introduced an entirely different set of problems if this enhancement found its way across the world.

"Ya'll are thinking zombies, too, right?" Sam joked, raising an eyebrow.

Bucky rolled his eyes and shifted in his chair, reaching for his phone. It had started to buzz steadily while they had been talking and he could only assume it was Avery.

Avery: _hey how do we feel about doing a games night with Sam and Kasey  
_ Avery: _if you're not sick of being around him, Buck  
_ Avery: _at Bucky's, btw. Biggest apartment available.  
_ Avery: _I know you're both busy with work things but I am going to accept your lack of response as being okay with this idea  
_ Avery: _kasey will text Sam! She's gotta make the next move so don't mention it to him please!  
_ Avery: _is three bottles of wine excessive?  
_ Avery: _there was a sale.._

Bucky pulled his eyes up and glanced over at Sam who was looking at his own phone.

"I just got invited to a games night at… your place?" Sam titled his head.

Steve raised his eyebrow as he caught up on the messages on his phone in their chat. "Well, I guess that is happening, yes."

Bucky: _fine. Games night approved.  
_ Bucky: _maybe we'll order Chinese, too  
_ Bucky: _from that place Stevie likes. We'll pick it up on our way._

Even though she had been looking forward to spending the day with her boys, Avery gave up her Saturday to help her cousin get her new apartment set up. Kasey had found a beautiful place in Hell's Kitchen, just a few subway stops away from her new teaching job.

Kasey's furniture had been delivered a few days prior but the cousins had made a large trip to Target to get all the necessary and unnecessary homegoods required to really make the new place feel like home.

"So are you and Sam going to break in this mattress tonight or what?" Avery gently elbowed her cousin as they laid on her freshly made bed, having given up on the rest of their decorating tasks.

"Oh my god," Kasey groaned in response, rolling her eyes. There was a long pause. "I hope so."

"Ahhhh," Avery laughed, kicking her legs in excitement.

"I did pull out my nicest matching lace bra set," Kasey continued, sitting up and staring at the boxes around her new bedroom. "Well, I think I know where it is."

"You and Sam won't even discuss dating officially but you'll wear your nice lingerie for him?" Avery sat up too, giving her cousin a curious stare.

Kasey stood up, running a hand through her red hair and raising an eyebrow. "I will wear the nice stuff for anyone who appreciates it, okay?" She started to dig through some boxes that were stacked up on her dresser. "Don't you do the same for your boys?"

Avery's cheeks flushed pink as she thought about the question. She had never worn lingerie for anyone before. Sure, she had some nicer bras and underwear that matched but it wasn't anything… really exciting. "I have never really considered doing that, to be honest."

Kasey dropped her mouth open in surprise then smirked. "Well, think about it. I bet you will blow their hundred year old minds in a skimpy little thing. Maybe something black. Or something with leather? Bucky seems like he'd appreciate leather."

"Okay, enough." Avery rolled her eyes. "I'm calling us an Uber."

They managed to beat the boys to Brooklyn and avoid the sticky heat of the subway. They hung around Avery's apartment for a bit then headed up to Bucky's. Kasey carried a pile of board games she dug out of Avery's closet.

"So," Kasey kicked off her shoes and looked around the apartment. "When are you moving in here?" Her eyes narrowed in on a few pairs of Avery's shoes that lived near the door and swung at her discarded purse that hung on the coat rack.

"Funny," Avery replied, laying back on the couch as she turned on the air conditioning. "I think that's too soon. I mean, Bucky and Steve don't even live together."

"I don't see why not," Kasey continued, padding her way through the apartment. She moved her hands along the shelves of books beside the TV. "The three of you already spend so much time together. May as well just share one bed permanently."

"Okay, I have to be honest. Sharing a bed with them can be a bit of a nightmare. They both run so hot and -

"So you're telling me you all just sleep naked then?"

"Stop it," Avery laughed. "I think we're in a good place and conversations about beds and living situations will just mess that up."

Kasey just gave her one last skeptical glance then changed the subject. As usual, they spent a lot of time complaining about the upcoming wedding and the irritating list of email tasks that kept coming in from Lora.

Eventually, the boys showed up, with arms of brown paper bags that were filled with dinner for their whole group. Soon enough they were filling plates with food and flowing back into Bucky's living room. Avery parked herself in front of the coffee table while Kasey sat beside Steve on the couch, discussing their day setting up the apartment. Steve gave Kasey some recommendations of restaurants and coffee shops in the area.

Bucky watched from the kitchen, a soft smile on his face. Sam was at his side, stacking rice and veggies on his plate.

"Sam," Bucky finally broke his gaze, tearing his eyes away from a laughing Avery across the room, in the middle of telling Steve some childhood story about Kasey. She looked so carefree and safe. She looked happy. It made his heart thump and swell and flourish.

"Yeah?"

"About that event next week, there's one more thing. Maybe it goes without saying but.." Bucky trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Don't let Avery out of your sight, okay? I just.. I have a bad feeling about this entire thing already."

Sam nodded, narrowing his eyes at his partner. "The place will be crawling with security, man. I don't think they'd be planning anything big."

Bucky exhaled sharply. "I don't care. Maybe I sound crazy -

"You definitely do."

"I don't care," Bucky repeated. He glanced across the room again, catching a smile from Avery as she waved him over. He nodded, smiling back but turned to Sam once more, dropping to a concerned frown. "Protect Avery at all costs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h'ooookay. listen, I love Lou but boy oh boy, I don't think he handled this all that well. and Steve is right, she doesn't deserve that reaction from her own father but.. there will be some resolution, in time. oh and there is some action coming, people!
> 
> as usual, thank you immensely for following along and reading this story. every hit, subscription, bookmark and comment mean the world to me! I know the world is just.. a messssss right now and I'm happy to have this escape to write and I hope it serves as a nice distraction sometimes, too.
> 
> also for all my fellow writers out there, happy NaNoWriMo! I've decided to write a new Bucky/OC in my little free time outside of writing this story so if I can accomplish my goal this month, that'll be coming up when this story wraps. 
> 
> Although.... I do have an idea for part two of the Avery/Bucky/Steve story.... but we shall see.
> 
> coming up: we're going to Oscorp HQ. we're going to the warehouse. we are getting some answers and it's going to be exciting, folks. keep your eyes open for some special guest stars, soon too!


	25. Warehouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hi! No content warning buuuutttt I wanted to use this place to plug my good friend EirlysLavellan's Bucky/OC story called 'As The Sky May Fall' - she just started to cross post it here on AO3. If you are interested in a slow burn romance with a ton of action and a strong, badass original female character, this story is for you. I love Alice and how she's been intertwined with the MCU and I can't recommend it enough!

Looking back on her life since she _unvanished,_ Avery found it hard to believe how things had played out for her. The last few months, especially. If she could go back and tell her past self that things would be better, that things would be _okay_ , that she would eventually feel more purpose and less anger, she would.

Though she knew that her past self would not believe her, anyway.

More than anything, it felt as if certain pieces of Avery's life were falling into place or barrelling towards a positive place. Or so she hoped.

It was finally the day of the annual _Oscorp Gallery_. A plan was being set into action and while Avery was excited, there was a surge of anxiety pulsing within her. She sat patiently on a work table in the lower garage underneath Stark Plaza. Ahead of her, Steve, Bucky and Sam were going through their last minute plans for the evening.

Avery had never seen her boys like this: strategically dressed in tactical gear, concealed with weapons and technology, eyes furrowed in anticipation.

Steve hadn't been mission prepared like this in a long time. Not that this was complicated or grandiose but he wanted to be as cautious as possible. He was dressed in dark tactical gear, most reminiscent of his time on the run. There was no homage to the star on his chest, anymore. Just sleek black and charcoal grey.

Avery nearly started to drool when she saw him run a hand through his hair. There was something about his grown out hair, scruffy beard and mission ready outfit that was sending her mind reeling. And Bucky?

He was in what she assumed was his normal _work gear -_ black pants with pockets and latches for concealed weapons, heavy boots, a crossbody leather jacket and his left arm on display.

She wondered if she could convince them to bring those outfits home. Which of her boyfriends would be more interested in role play and -

"Ave?"

A call from Bucky broke her from her thoughts. He was waving her over. She smiled and hopped down from the table, smoothing out the hem of her floral dress as she did. Her heels clicked and echoed throughout the vast space, coming to a halt in front of them.

Bucky gave her a soft smile, looking her up and down quickly. "I like this dress."

"Does it read business casual enough? Everyone at Simonarc got a strongly worded email about how we are representatives of the company at this event tonight." She rolled her eyes then turned to see Sam walking towards them.

No, not walking. Sam was _strutting._

"I like any mission where I get to play dress up," Sam started, pausing to do a complete spin. "What do we think of Grant Smith?" Sam was dressed in a navy blue suit jacket and matching slacks, with a patterned dress shirt underneath. Steve rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"Grant Smith looks like a frat guy who peaked in college," Avery said with a smirk. "Or a failed investment banker."

"Ouch," Sam replied to her, pulling on the sleeves of his jacket.

"And he has poor eyesight, too." Steve handed Sam a pair of lightly rimmed glasses.

Avery squinted to notice there was a flurry of activity on the lenses as Sam put them on. Clearly they were not just a regular pair of spectacles.

Bucky grabbed Avery's hand and spun her slightly towards him. Before letting go, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "We've got something for you." From the table beside him, Bucky grabbed a small black case. When he opened it, there was a pair of beautiful diamond earrings.

She let out a quiet gasp. "You didn't have to -

Steve took a step forward, blushing. "Full disclosure, sweetheart. These aren't real. It's just a comms device we want you to wear."

Avery chewed on her lip for a second, nodding. "Right. That makes more sense."

Bucky's eyes grew wide with fear as he looked at her. "Not that you don't deserve beautiful jewelry, doll. It's just that we want you to be able to keep in touch in case something happens."

A few feet away, Sam was awkwardly laughing. "Y'all are smooth."

"Please ignore Sam." Avery looked between Steve and Bucky, smiling. She tucked her wavy hair behind her shoulders and reached for the earrings, carefully attaching them to her ears.

Bucky looked at her and swallowed hard. Steve leaned over and whispered in his ear and Avery could have sworn Bucky's cheeks tinted pink.

"One is a mic, one is a listening device," Steve said carefully, extending his hand out to adjust one of the circular studs. "Fake or not, they look beautiful, Ave."

"Yeah, yeah," she replied with an eye roll, ignoring the warm sensation growing in her chest.

Steve glanced down at his phone then back up towards the group. "Okay. Scott is on his way to the warehouse, Peter is in place on watch. I think we're good to go."

"Avery." Bucky took her hand again and stood in front of her. "Whatever happens tonight, please listen to Sam, okay?"

Avery chewed on her lip. "Of course." She paused, eyes flicking back towards Steve. "You're both going to be safe, right? I mean, I know Stevie is out of practice so.."

"I've got his back, don't worry about us," Bucky replied with a laugh, ignoring Steve's scoff in the background. Bucky leaned in and met her lips, bringing his hand up to cradle her cheek.

Bucky was unsettled by the whole thing. He had been fighting off a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew in his mind that realistically there was nothing inherently unsafe about the evening.

Avery and Sam were just going to a well populated, very public facing event. Sam even reassured him that there would be security on hand and likely even police presence because the outside block was being shut down to traffic.

But Bucky still felt a twist in his core.

"Don't stress, okay?" Steve stepped in and pulled Avery into his arms, pressing kisses on the top of her head. Before letting her go, he found her lips and mimicked Bucky's actions, cradling her cheek. His thumb grazed her soft skin. "We'll be in touch."

With a final nod, Sam led Avery towards one of the sleek looking sports cars, unhappily being loaned out from Happy. Avery climbed in the passenger side and waved to Bucky and Steve, who were heading towards one of the black armoured SUVs.

Avery tangled her hands in her lap as Sam started the car. Unsurprisingly, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

"Did Avery look disappointed about the earrings?" Steve drummed his hand on the steering wheel as they waited on a dark street near the warehouse.

"Steve." Bucky sighed. "That's not important right now."

Steve hummed a quiet agreement. "You're right. I just.." He trailed off, looking ahead to the small security booth on the edge of the warehouse property. Right. Now was not the time to worry about what kind of jewelry they should buy their girlfriend, if any.

They had a task at hand, a mission. Successfully get into this warehouse, find the elevator, travel down it and back out without leaving a trace.

" _Okay, the guard house is empty. I'm juuuust pulling out a few wires - oh, that zapped.. okay, bad wire - then we should be clear to.."_ Scott Lang's voice sounded out over the comms, signaling to both Bucky and Steve they could start their approach.

" _The guard is in line at the Sbarro a few blocks away. I'll follow behind and keep him distracted."_

"Thanks, kid." Bucky nodded to Steve and reached for the door handle. "You ready, punk?"

Steve rolled his eyes, pushing his door open. "Give it a rest."

Quietly they walked towards the guard house, waiting for the sound of -

" _Bingo!"_

The large metal gate started to whirr open and the two super soldiers slid past it, before it closed again.

" _If I managed to do that properly, it'll be like it never happened."_

"Well, we have someone watching out for us on the backend tonight in case you screw up."

" _Thanks for the support, Cap."_

Steve smirked and watched as a small flying ant soared by his eyeline, going ahead towards the back door of the warehouse. By the time he and Bucky made it there, long quiet strides helping them cover ground quickly, their next door was open, too.

"All the cameras are on a loop, right?" Bucky asked, motioning his head upwards to the strategically hidden security cameras along the wall.

"I've confirmed they're not active right now. An old stream is running and bypassing the system." Steve added with a nod, pulling the door open. "Shall we?"

The warehouse was large and incredibly empty. Save for some discarded pallets and hanging light fixtures, it came across abandoned and under utilized. Their feet kicked along the fresh concrete floor, eyes darting around the building for any unfamiliar noise or sudden crack to their plan. By the time they reached the far end of the building, Scott appeared in his normal human size, hands on his hip.

"I've made a lot of fun new friends since prison," Scott started slowly, pressing his mask and revealing a smile on his face. Stubble lined his jaw and his eyes narrowed as he studied the wall panel. "Well, inside and outside of prison. We actually have a crockpot group for recipe sharing, a pleasant surprise. But one big takeaway from a few pals was the act of _hiding._ "

Bucky raised an eyebrow, grunting for him to continue.

"This seam is a dead giveaway," Scott continued, pointing at a crack in the wall. He pushed forward, grasping at the open seam. "Okay, someone stronger needs to jump in here."

Steve swept in front of him, gripping the panel and pushing it. With a bit of give, a track above them started and the entire panel of the wall began to slide and the hidden elevator appeared. Just as Avery had described - large and shiny, a new addition to the building. To the right, a small screen lit up.

All three of the men stood and stared at the door for a moment. They knew their next step was heading down.

Bucky glanced to Steve, who nodded at Scott.

"I guess we're going to find out what's down the rabbit hole, huh?" Scott held his hand up, flicking his head to put his helmet on once more. "See you on the other side, boys."

* * *

"Alright cupcake, if you were just coming to this event as a normal citizen without an ulterior motive, what would you do first?"

Avery raised an eyebrow at Sam. "Uhm, the first thing I would do is not RSVP or come at all. Because supporting the Osborn family is against my religion."

Sam sputtered out a laugh. "Okay, okay. Fair enough."

A voice sounded through Avery's head. " _Sam, how are things going?"_

Bucky.

Avery's eyes shot wide but remained standing still, waiting in the security line with Sam. They hadn't gone through the efforts of testing out the comms but it turned out, hers was working.

Sam tilted his head, pressing a finger to his ear. "We're not even in the building yet, man. Can we just stick to the check in protocol?"

Bucky grumbled out some sort of agreement then his voice disappeared again.

"Next."

Avery took a few steps forward, peering upwards into the grand lobby of the Oscorp Industries tower. It was bold, with large walls of sparkling windows and stylistic clear staircases. There was a sea of people shuffling around, with oversized screens scrolling through welcome messaging and videos of Norman Osborn. Some people were dressed to the nines while others were much more casual, eagerly perusing the booths and displays.

Oscorp loved to focus on their outreach and scientific discoveries, humbly bragging about their advances in medicine and technology.

Avery felt like it was all a sham. A front for whatever illegal and unethical things they do behind the scenes.

Sam's hand pressed against the small of her back and they walked through the security alarms, smiling politely at the bulky security guards and continuing on to one of the polite women with the clipboards welcoming guests in.

"Welcome to Oscorp," the young woman ahead of them started, a placated smile on her face. She tilted her head then glanced down at her tablet. "Are you on our guest list?"

Avery politely told the woman who she and her guest were, and then both she and Sam produced a piece of identification. The woman's smile never faltered, quickly checking them in then moving aside to welcome them into the event.

"No fancy name badge?" Avery paused to ask the woman.

"Our building would have scanned you in and recorded your face and biometrics. We only secure that information for the duration of the event, in case of emergency. Enjoy your evening ahead!"

Sam grabbed Avery's hand and pulled her ahead and off to the side, scanning around the room.

"Isn't it unethical to take biometric scans?" She asked quietly.

Sam shrugged. "A lot of companies do it these days but there are strict rules about data mining and timelines for storage. It's actually Stark Industries that created the first patent."

Avery pursed her lips together and nodded. She supposed that made sense.

"So, circling back. What's the first thing you'd check out at an event like this?"

Avery smirked. "The bar."

"After that, you lush."

"Probably some of the interactive exhibits?" Avery turned her head to look towards one of the big hallways. "And I would probably have to go say hello to Will." She motioned her head to a lounge area up a set of stairs, in the above open floor area. There were a few large couches sitting underneath a large Simonarc Construction logo.

Sam nodded. "Okay. Let's do a lap then head up there."

* * *

Scott easily managed to override the elevator control panel from his microscopic exploration of the wiring and soon enough, they were travelling downwards. When the silver doors opened at the basement level, Bucky raised his arms up in a cautionary hold. Steve walked out slowly first, cautiously glancing around for any signs of movement or other people.

Their preliminary scans indicated no heat signatures in the building so they were fairly certain it was empty. But, it was only right to have their guard up.

As they headed further from the elevator, the lights above them came on, triggered by their motion. Ahead of them, an entire state-of-the-art laboratory lit up. One side housed a large glass viewing room, with some sort of chair on the other side of the window. A center console of computer screens sat in the middle of the room and to the left, there was a system of what appeared to look like a production assembly line.

Boxes of strange glass vials sat in a stack on the far end, piled onto a wooden pallet. Behind the assembly area stood long shelves and cupboards, some with clear windows indicating chemicals and resources within them. Some were locked with large padlocks or keypads.

On the south wall, there was another large door with secure windows. Scott reappeared at full size again and walked that way to survey what was hiding on the other side.

Bucky took in the scene. It was uncomfortably clinical. Everything was clean, clean, clean. He treaded towards the windows of the viewing room. The lights flicked on as he grew closer and a single angled chair illuminated. It was white with soft curves but the closer he looked, the more his breath sped up.

There were straps on the arms of the chair and near where someone's legs would rest. Hard, metal cuffs displayed prominently. Restraints.

He swallowed hard as his mind flashed back to hardened memories. Though his were dark and grey and grimey, a stark contrast to the bright, white, cleanliness of the chair ahead of him, the same emotions waved through him.

Lack of control.

Lack of consent.

 _Restraint_.

"Bucky." Steve's voice let Bucky come back to the present again and he tore his eyes away from the chair and glass barrier, turning to see Steve waving him over.

" _All clear outside still, sirs. This guard should be tied up for a bit."_

Steve pressed a hand to his ear. "Thanks Peter." He turned towards Bucky, who appeared beside him at the center console of computer screens and monitors. "Look."

Steve pressed a finger to one of the transparent screens, where a thumbnail from a video was paused. Bucky crossed his arms, eyes narrowed at the screen as it began to play.

The video was date stamped from just a few days ago. The camera had been pointed towards the chair of the viewing room, at a wide angle. There was a man sitting in the chair, in just a pair of shorts. His chest was dotted with tapes and wires, tracking his body functions as he sat there. His hands and feet were restrained but it didn't look like he was there by force.

The man nodded along as someone in a white lab coat talked to him. Then, the man walked towards the glass and spoke towards the camera.

"Dr. Karl Malus, running test #93.1. Our subject is a healthy male, 235lbs, 6ft tall. This is his second administration of _300x_ \- though this dosage increases the sleytium incorporation by 24%, the highest threshold for adjustment so far. The patient is showing signs of minor expected side effects, including targeted nerve damage resulting in involuntary tremors. We imagine this will fix itself with the proper dosage."

Karl Malus looked almost like a mad scientist, with long unkempt hair and thick rimmed glasses that magnified his eyes. His face looked tired, matching the dull tone of his voice.

After a three second countdown, the doctor left the room and from above the man in the chair, a light purple air streamed onto him. His chest heaved, taking long deep breaths of the chemical inhalant. The video cut off when a guttural noise left his mouth and his arms and legs pulled away from the restraints.

Bucky gulped, eyes narrowed as he looked at Steve. "If they're having success with this, we might be running out of time."

Steve nodded in agreement, flipping through more videos.

Another thumbnail showed the same patient, but in the middle of an empty storage room. He cracked a small vial in front of his face, inhaling the same purple vapour. Then, he took off like a flash, running through the warehouse and easily smashing through a series of obstacles laid out for him. He leaped over blockages, smashed through concrete barriers with his bare hands, quickly used hand-to-hand combat to take down an opponent. The clip ended with him running out of steam and collapsing a few minutes later, desperate to fill his lungs with air.

Sam's voice sounded out in their ears. " _Hey. Things are going smoothly so far - Will just invited me into a meeting upstairs."_

Steve's eyes met Bucky's. He pressed a finger to his ear. "Is Avery going with you?"

" _Yes. You two think I'm an idiot? I'll let you know what happens."_

"I don't have time for that debate," Bucky grumbled out, closing his eyes. He wanted to ask Avery if she was okay, if she felt comfortable with what was happening but he stopped himself. She had wholeheartedly agreed to help. Any whispers of doubt or concern from her boyfriends wouldn't make the situation any easier for her.

"Cap? Sarge?" Scott's voice called out from the far side of the room, as one of the large doors started to move. "I think I found the pot of gold."

* * *

As Avery and Sam circled around the event, with Sam's hand firmly gripping her own or secure on her waist, she started to forget they were attending under dishonest pretenses. Admittedly, she found the science and technology really fascinating.

Oscorp was showing off all of their newest toys and advances - from barely visible security cameras to motion sensor trip wires to invisible force fields that would expand to cover a building and scale down to secure someone like handcuffs.

She let one beautiful lab coat wearing woman even test out an everlasting nailpolish on a few of her nails, guaranteeing it wouldn't chip or dull for up to six weeks. That and it was hard like metal once it cured, giving the average woman an extra defense tactic.

Sam listened to her ramble on, but mainly kept his eyes alert to who else was in the room and where they were spending their time. Before he and Avery headed up the large glass staircase to the above landing, they paused at the bar and he let Avery indulge in a glass of champagne.

"Don't tell your guard dogs," Sam chuckled.

"One glass won't distract me," Avery countered, sipping on the flute. "But it will keep my anxiety at bay while we go talk to Will." Her next sip turned into tipping the entire contents of the bubbly liquid into her mouth, leaving the glass on the top of the bar. "Shall we?"

Sam gave her one raised eyebrow then smirked, extending left arm out for her to hold onto as he led her upstairs. The second level of the foyer had been set up with a lounge area, alongside plenty of Oscorp staff directing guests to more exhibits upstairs, including a large amphitheater showing a reel of recent educational resources. The whole premise made Avery want to vomit - for a company that was so complicit in illegal activities behind the scenes, they were trying really hard to sell themselves as a wholesome, contributing member of the community.

"Avery, hello." Will greeted her warmly, depositing an empty rocks glass with a nearby waiter. He took a step towards her and Sam, moving further into the area. After an exchange of greetings, they all sat. Avery hugged the side of a leather couch with Sam pressing against her hip, while Will placed himself in the armchair diagonal from them.

They talked casually about the event for a few minutes, with Will sputtering on about the great partnership of work Simonarc does with Oscorp. Sam listened attentively, acting especially interested, as Will rambled on about new projects and warehouses they were assisting in renovating and rehabilitating. Avery tried to tune out.

"So, Grant. What do you do?" Will spoke curiously. Avery really wasn't sure if his questions held anything beyond an innocent inquiry. She had gotten better at reading Will over the past few months and she thought his question was genuine.

Sam had filled Avery in on the fictional backstory for Grant Smith and they had planned out a few details about their own relationship history, too. They decided 'Grant' would be fairly secretive, especially to Avery, like he couldn't trust her. Their goal was to try and get Will to build a simple rapport with him, instead.

Sam pursed his lips for a moment, eyes darting towards Avery for a moment then back to Will. "I'm a consultant."

"And what do you consult?" Will pressed on, raising an eyebrow.

Sam tensed, letting out a quiet huff. "I don't like to talk business in front of princess here." He motioned his head towards Avery, who rolled her eyes.

"Hey. You don't have to talk down to me in front of my boss," Avery turned to Sam. "I'm getting another drink, you ass." She pushed herself up, turning away from Will and delivering a quick wink to Sam as she walked away. She paused near a tall table across the lounge, motioning for a nearby waitress.

"Truthfully, man," Sam slid over and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I've gotten in pretty deep with a, uh.." Sam paused, rubbing his hand across his jaw. He made a point of looking around the room dramatically, then he lowered his voice. "I'm stuck in a questionable contract right now. One consultation gig with a… let's call him an multi-country metals dealer." Sam raised his hands up to mime out holding a gun.

Will raised his eyebrow again, nodding. "Oh. Sure. Metals." He smirked. "I get it."

Sam laughed. "I'm just.. This guy I'm working with is a piece of work. Doesn't trust a thing I do. Keeps me in the dark with half the plan all the time. I'm hoping to find a lead here tonight for my next venture." He titled his head. "Now, I don't want to get anyone in trouble here, my girl especially. But princess over there-" Sam paused to glance at Avery then added in an eyeroll. "Mentioned you might.. Well. You know what, never mind. Maybe this isn't the place."

Sam was trying to lay it on _thick_. Avery consistently talked about how Will had a great insecurity about his involvement in the project, how he felt he didn't get his fair seat at the table. Sam wanted to make him feel like he was knowledgeable, like Will had the control, the upper hand.

Will stopped Sam when he started to stand up. "No, no. Mr. Smith, I think I may have something your next partner might be interested in. Trust me, I've been in your shoes before. I'm waiting on one last thing to get me out - this could be your out, too." He took a deep breath. "Avery helped me out a lot these past few months and, well, this is the least I can do to pay her back."

Will motioned for a waiter who stood nearby, holding up two fingers and ordering drinks for himself and Sam. "There's a special exhibit upstairs in a few minutes. Invite only. You can come as my guest." He stood up, handing one of the drinks to Sam and motioning his head towards the hallway to the elevators. "You'll have to hang out at the back, since it had a pre-approved guest list."

Sam nodded, as if he understood the gravity and privilege being shared with him. "Sure. Just let me deal with her." Sam held up a finger to indicate Will should wait for them, then walked towards Avery.

"Hey," Sam pressed his hand on her back. "That actually worked. I told him I'm trying to get rid of you so I need you to fake an argument with me."

Avery nodded, pausing and crinkling her face as she listened. "What are we fighting about, dear?"

Sam's lips curled into a faint smile then nodded his head. "Oh, I'm just trying to ditch you at yet another event and you won't stand for it."

Avery pursed her lips, pushing her hair over her shoulder as she squared her shoulders. "You're the one who begged me to come with you tonight, baby." Her voice grew as she argued, dramatically pulling an arm away when Sam reached for her hand. "Fine, just leave me here. I'm taking the car home then."

"Avery, calm down," Sam egged her on slowly, turning to look at Will over his shoulder, who gave him a sympathetic smile. "You always do this."

" _You always do this_ ," she repeated in a mocking tone, tipping her flute of champagne into her mouth like before. "Whatever. I'm just going to call..uh.. Wallace, then. He'll actually want to spend his night with me.." She took a moment to pause dramatically. "Unlike _you_ , Grant. You can be such an as-

"Hey, hey." Will had rushed over, shushing Avery as she grew louder and louder. "Remember you're here as a company guest, Avery. What's gotten into you? Take it easy. Listen, just bring her along, man. Keep your voice down. Jesus Christ."

Will rolled his eyes, laughing as Sam dramatically muttered out something about how ridiculous women could be. Avery trailed behind, reaching out for Sam's hand. Will strode ahead to the elevators while Sam muttered into his earpiece, updating Steve and Bucky on what was happening.

* * *

On the other side of the lab, with only two industrial doors dividing the space, there was a large storage holding area. Scott had quickly explored the space and came to one conclusion - all of the crates were full of concrete cylinders. But, on the far side of the room there was a stack of machinery and dozens of well used molds - including plates and sizes for various weaponry.

"They have a direct line of concrete coming down from that tunneling system," Scott pointed to the corner, where an elaborate pipe and vent system was mounted to the wall. "I assume there's a pouring mechanism coming in from the outside. I've gotta admit - this is an impressive set up."

Bucky sneered. "Yeah. What a shame it's getting shut down and they'll have to stop producing and selling illegal weapons."

"I'm just saying," Scott said with a shrug. "This would have been years in the making. Hiding it under a dilapidated warehouse is smart."

"Scott," Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "What can you do to stop that machine from working?" His eyes scanned over the large machinery, trying to take in exactly which part of the process would be easiest to derail the entire operation."

"Honestly? We should reroute that concrete line into the main oven." Scott's eyes narrowed, brain racing as he moved toward the pouring system. "It is a dick move, though."

Bucky shrugged, securing a few of his knives along his belt and walking beside Scott. "How can I help?"

Scott moved ahead and discussed with Bucky, finally landing on a basic plan of just rotating the concrete output 45 degrees, so it would start to pour into the kiln next time it started up. It was subtle and would ruin their production if no one caught it.

" _Hey Cap?"_ Peter's voice came out breathlessly, as if he was moving quickly. " _There's a few vehicles speeding into the lot. I'll do what I can to distract them but -_

Steve's eyes grew wide. "Shit. Thanks Peter." He turned his head, eyes looking back towards the main lab area near the elevator. "I'm not sure how quickly they can get down here but that would certainly be their point of entry."

While they were hoping to get in and out unnoticed, they _had_ accounted for scenarios like this. Their main goal was to disappear as quickly as possible.

Scott turned on his heel a few times and pointed to the opposite corner of the room. "They have an emergency staircase. It's probably small but should get you outside. I'll go delay the elevator."

Bucky nodded. "You sure?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, Tin Man. My straight and narrow streak has been ongoing for too long." He saluted them both and began to run back towards the lab, shrinking down as he did.

"Here I hoped we could get in and out without any violence," Steve said wistfully, hurrying over to the emergency stairwell with Bucky.

"Where's the fun in that, Stevie?" Bucky smirked, pressing the door open as Steve followed behind. "Hey - remember last time we were trapped in a stairwell together?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me."

" _Hey Cap, Barnes."_ It was Sam this time. " _Good news is this secret investor meeting told us exactly what we needed to know."_

"Sam," Bucky growled. "Don't tell me there's bad news."

" _Well, we're making a -_

"Sam?" Steve paused halfway up the stairs, eyes narrowed. "What's happening?"

"Wilson! Where's Avery?" Bucky's left hand curled into a fist as he gripped the railing.

" _I'mwithSam. Fuck!"_ The sound of her voice put Bucky at ease for only a microsecond. " _We just kind of got separated in a crowd and - Sam, you're smothering me!"_

"Buck, c'mon. We've gotta get out of here." Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him to move upwards. "What's happening outside, Pete?"

" _There's an SUV waiting outside that emergency exit - at least four guys."_

Bucky shook his head, trying to remind himself that Avery was safe with Sam and him worrying while trying to escape this warehouse in Queens was not going to do any good. He shifted his thoughts, running through the easiest tactical plans for four operatives.

"Four? Huh. Child's play. Let's get on with it." Steve threw his arms down, extending the wrist shields that had been worked into his sleeves. "You ready Buck?"

Bucky let out a low growl, head down and left arm forward. He kicked out the door at the top of the staircase, nodding at Steve.

* * *

The room Will took them to upstairs reminded Avery of a lecture hall from her college days, with rounded rows of seats leading downward to a podium and screen system. The lights were already dimmed as they walked in, greeted only by a gruff looking security guard who eyed both Avery and Sam suspiciously as Will explained who they were.

Avery gave the man a polite smile. He stood tall and wide, arms cross over his broad chest. She noticed his fingers were covered in a series of flashy rings. She felt his eyes on them even as they stood along the back wall.

She watched as Sam scanned the room, noticing tiny changes to the lenses of his glasses as he narrowed in on individuals. There were about a dozen people scattered around and although the room wasn't very bright, he seemed to be searching databases to match names to bodies.

"Oh shit," Sam mumbled out. He grabbed a hold of Avery's right hand and took a few steps over to distance between themselves and Will.

Avery turned her head, frowning. "What?"

"There's an Army General down there I know. Well, that Sam Wilson knows. A General who should certainly not be humouring this type of project, mind you." He pursed his lips then nodded. "We just have to get out of here fast when this wraps up, okay?"

Avery confirmed with a nod then leaned against the wall, turning her attention to the podium area where Norman Osborn had just appeared. He started in a dramatic fashion, welcoming his distinguished guests and promising a taste of what they concerned a revolutionary defensive advancement.

He thanked his business partners, the Simon and Haskell families and their companies, for their commitment and support then turned the presentation over to Harry instead.

Just the sight of him made Avery's eyes roll into the back of her head. The way he commanded the room and kept that slimy smirk on his face made her want to scream. But she remained calm, listening intently as they went over their sales pitch.

She couldn't believe it. Clearly this was a closed door meeting with selected invitees. They didn't mention the weapon production but did showcase their strange inhalant.

Some scientists stepped in with more stats, explaining how their test subjects displayed increased strength and agility for a controlled amount of time.

Harry beamed at the display on the screen. "Imagine a firefighter who needs an extra boost to lift a crumbling building off a civilian. Or the next great attack on the peace of our country, be it from another country or planet - we could arm our soldiers with an in-case-of-emergency product, giving them the time and power they need to get their second win and _keep fighting._ "

It sounded like he was a snake oil salesman and people seemed to be buying it.

Eventually, he started to talk about money. The numbers being thrown around seemed astronomical to Avery but this was all beyond her normal understanding anyway. As the lights finally came up again, Avery watched Harry Osborn move up the steps quickly. He made a beeline for Will, phone in hand.

"I'm sending a security team to the warehouse." Harry was not speaking quietly. "There's an alarm-

His eyes moved rapidly and he met Avery's gaze. He looked from her to Sam, the back to Will. His eyes grew wide.

"How did you two get in here?"

Will stepped in. "This is -

"You invited _them_ into this closed door meeting, you fucking imbecile?" Harry started to shout, pointing towards the guard from the door. "Maxwell!"

Sam grasped onto Avery's hand and pulled her away, rushing towards the exit door on the far side of the room. "Hope you can run in those heels, cupcake."

Avery hoped so, too. Everything happened at a whirlwind pace. Sam was explaining his decisions to her.

They had to get down to the second floor.

They could get lost in the big crowd coming out of the latest showing in the amphitheater.

They needed to get across the street.

How did she feel about heights and flying?

Avery was struggling to focus, but they got to a stairwell and hurried down. She kept her sight on Sam and only Sam, ignoring the shouts coming from behind them.

Loud footsteps seemed to be following behind, too.

When they got to the second floor, Sam took a breath and hit his comms.

"Hey Cap, Barnes. Good news is this secret investor meeting told us exactly what we needed to know."

Avery paused and waited to hear one of the boys reply.

" _Sam."_ Bucky's growling tone sounded out. " _Don't tell me there's bad news."_

Avery smiled, just for a second, when she heard his voice.

Sam continued on as they pressed into a large crowd exiting the theatre. "Well, we're making a -

Avery yelped as someone behind her grabbed her other hand, holding her back from continuing on. She looked over her shoulder and was suddenly face to face with that large wall of a bodyguard from upstairs. She was surprised he had followed them downstairs so swiftly. His grip on her wrist was like a vice, like he was able to crack the bones but he was resisting.

" _Sam! What's happening?"_

Avery took a deep breath then leaned in to throw an elbow into his face. She pulled her arm out from the man's grip as he reached for his injured nose, then turned and dodged into the crowd. A group of young teenagers had stopped in the middle of the hallway and blocked the path of Maxwell.

" _Wilson! Where's Avery?"_

"Hey!" Sam's hand found her again, eyes wide with panic, pulling her along to wait beside the wall as the crowd continued to flow out.

Apparently filling up a theatre with nearly 500 people was beneficial.

"I'mwithSam. Fuck!" She gasped as Sam pressed her beside the wall, pulling her head to his chest. "We just kind of got separated in a crowd and - _Sam, you're smothering me_!" She pushed him away gently, gasping and taking a long breath. She knew he was just trying to shield her and block out the big crowd, and hopefully hide from the big angry guy, but she felt like she was suffocating.

"Sorry, sorry. I thought that guy had you." Sam reached a hand out, steadying her. "We've gotta keep going." He peered over his shoulder. It looked like Maxwell had hurried down the big glass staircase to continue looking for them.

Sam grabbed Avery's hand once more and headed in the opposite direction. They found a set of stairs on the east wall and headed down, pushing out to the street level.

Sam shook off his blazer and handed it to Avery, letting her pull it on as he navigated through the crowds on the sidewalk.

Avery was impressed with Sam's actions - he managed to hold her hand, put her at ease and do something with a mechanism on his wrist at the same time. They darted down a back alley a block away, where Sam pulled a backpack out from behind a dumpster.

"Do you often just hide your wings in the middle of Manhattan?" Avery joked.

"Only when I think we need a plan B," Sam replied with a smirk. "C'mon, we need to take off from the roof." With a short running leap Sam grabbed onto the closest fire escape, pulling himself up then assisting Avery. She tried to climb as quickly as possible, though heels and metal grates didn't work very effectively.

The adrenaline kept her nerves dulled, at least.

When they got to the rooftop, Sam tugged on the collar of his blazer. Avery jumped as the fabric started to constrict, hugging her tightly. "It's to help with wind resistance. You ready?" He tossed her a pair of collapsed goggles next and she secured them on. "We've just gotta get to Steve's building so it's a short trip."

It didn't surprise Avery that flying with Sam, even though it was quick and exciting, stirred the familiar motion sickness in her stomach. By the time he was slowly landing them onto the roof, she knew she was going to throw up.

"Pretty fun, right?" Sam started as he let Avery go. She gave him a fast thumbs up then rushed to the side of the roof, disposing of the contents of her stomach.

Sam chuckled and brought his hand to his ear. "We made it back to the meeting point. What's your status?"

" _Did someone just puke on the comms?"_ Peter's voice was lively.

" _We're on our way there, Sam. Get Avery some ginger ale from the fridge."_ Steve sounded distressed but Sam didn't mention it.

Steve and Bucky took a huge detour on their way back to Steve's apartment, concerned they were being tailed, despite leaving all the opposing security in a pile on the ground. Peter had followed for a few blocks and insisted they were alone but the precaution was taken just in case.

When they finally made it to Steve's, they found Sam in the kitchen on his phone and Avery on the couch - wrapped in a blanket and nursing a can of ginger ale.

When she heard their heavy boots moving in the hallway, she perked her head up. Bucky and Steve came in quickly, bolting the door shut.

Now, Avery had seen Bucky come back from missions before. Usually he could be a little worse from wear, but considering they had just been exploring the warehouse location she didn't expect to see them come back roughed up. Yet, as they walked in and looked like they had been _fighting_ \- really fighting - she felt her chest tighten up. She moved to the end of the couch and sat up on her knees, resisting the urge to dramatically run towards them both and tackle them into hugs.

They were fine.

The hugs could wait.

"Hey doll," Steve got to Avery first, extending his hand out and grabbing her cheek. He leaned in and kissed her lips, sighing at the touch.

Bucky came over and kissed her the same, running a hand through her hair before he moved to drop down beside her on the couch.

"What happened to you two?" Sam plunked down at one of the two chairs at Steve's small kitchen table, eyebrow raised. "Did they have that much manpower or are you really out of shape?"

Bucky scrubbed his hands across his face as he unlatched his jacket, leaning back on the couch. Steve moved to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water for himself and Bucky.

"They just kept going.." Bucky shook his head. "They rotated through cracking open those chemical vials, inhaling that shit and.. Never losing steam." His eyes were wide as he went over the fight in his mind. "I can take down _anyone._ If that is my task, I will do it. But God, those guys just kept going."

"We wore them down eventually, Scott joined us, too. But if that's what they're selling, people are going to line up to buy it. At least we got to see that lab and take photos" Steve shook his head just like Bucky had, squeezing onto the space on Avery's other side. "How did your night go?"

A smile briefly flashed on her face. "Oh, it was a very normal night. Two glasses of champagne, fighting with my fake boyfriend, running out of the building in a frenzy."

"Your girlfriend elbowed a guy in the nose," Sam added in, half a smirk on display.

"Really?" Steve shifted to look at her, eyes narrowed.

"Atta girl," Bucky spoke at the same time, reaching his hand out to rest on her knee. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied with a small smile. "Really. The whole night went by so quickly, it's kind of a blur."

Before Bucky or Steve could respond, Scott appeared in the apartment kitchen, full size. Avery screamed - _loudly_ \- when he did, eyes wide in surprise while Sam, Bucky and Steve did not react at all.

"What the fuck?"

"Hey, sorry. I tried your buzzer and knocked at the door then just.. Well, you know. Door frames. Tiny frame. Whatever. Here I am." Scott turned and opened the door of Steve's fridge, reaching in to find something to drink. "Is this still good?" He scanned over the carton of milk.

Avery's head shook quickly. "Who is that? And how did they get in here?"

"Scott, this is Avery," Steve started, motioning his head.

"Oh. Right. The one who vomited on the comms." Scott gave her a wide grin. "Nice to meet you."

"That right there is your favourite non-Avenger, doll," Bucky said with a laugh. "Ant-Man."

"What? I'm an Avenger. I was there for the big fight." Scott leaned on the counter, head tilted in confusion. "I think that gives me permanent Avenger status."

Suddenly, their tumultuous evening and sharing of the events of the night seemed to pause as Avery glanced around the room. "Wow. I.. really? I can't believe he's real."

"Is this some weird prank? Because if Hope put you up to this, you have to tell me."

* * *

Sunday mornings were for sleeping. Especially after adventurous Saturday nights.

Avery stirred awake slowly, laying flat on her back on the far side of Steve's bed. She felt very warm and very cozy. Bucky was wrapped around her on her left side, like a koala bear. His breathing was steady and despite her desire to stretch out her back, she didn't want to disturb him. She lifted her head slightly to look beyond Bucky.

Steve was sitting up against the headboard, laptop propped up on the pillow resting on his thighs. She scanned her eyes over his bare chest, where a few bruises from the night before were nearly gone. By the time her eyes pulled up to his face, she had been caught.

Steve put on one of those classic Steve smiles - soft and sweet and playful. A quiet good morning greeting left his lips then he motioned his head to the doorway.

' _Coffee?'_ He mouthed and she nodded, giving him an appreciative smile. Steve shifted to move off the bed.

The minute Steve's feet hit the floor, Bucky spoke up. "Me too, please." His morning voice was low and grumbly. He tightened his arm around Avery's waist and shifted even closer, kissing up her neck.

Avery giggled and tried to push him away, but he wouldn't relent. His lazy kisses turned to roaming hands and ticklish fingers along her hips. Eventually he stilled, choosing to just revel in the warm morning. After the night before, waking up slowly together seemed like just what all three of them needed.

As Steve returned, Avery wiggled out of Bucky's strong hold and leaned up against the headboard. Bucky climbed off the bed, giving Steve a thank you kiss before heading to the bathroom.

Steve placed Bucky's coffee on the side table and Avery took hers with a smile. She tilted her head upwards to accept a kiss from Steve then sipped on her warm mug.

Leaving her coffee beside Bucky's, she crawled across the bed and leaned against Steve's chest once he returned to his spot, stopping him from opening his laptop again.

"No work for at least ten minutes," Avery whined playfully. She trailed her fingers up Steve's chest and scratched against his thick stubble.

"Fine, fine," he agreed quickly, lips turning up into a small smile. "Hey." Gently, he grabbed her right wrist. It was dotted with small, purple bruises. "Is this from last night?"

Avery frowned, pulling her wrist away from his hand to look at it more closely. "I guess. That big brute who works for Harry had a pretty tight hold on me."

She glanced up to see Steve letting out a sharp breath, as if trying to contain himself.

"It doesn't hurt," she continued, trying to reassure him. "I just bruise easily, I guess."

Steve let out an inquisitive hum and took her hand back in his. He hated the idea of Avery being injured in any way because of them - directly or indirectly. Despite her attempt at brushing it off, he ran his fingers along the tender bruises and watched as she bit her lip in pain.

"Okay, it hurts. But only a little bit, really."

"Buck!" Steve called out, listening for Bucky rustling around in the kitchen. "Bring me a compress from the freezer."

"I really don't think that's necessary," Avery countered, pulling back from his chest and leaning against the headboard again. She rotated her wrist a few times, feeling a faint aching wash through her joints. She avoided glancing back up at Steve, who certainly had a satisfied ' _I was right'_ look on his face.

Bucky's face was turned into a frown when he returned to the bedroom. He dropped down on the other side of Avery, shushing her as she tried to protest when he grabbed her wrist in his left hand. Even the metal was a comforting touch.

"What did the guy look like?" Bucky asked as he started to press the ice onto her wrist joint. "He worked for Osborn?"

"Big, wide, sullen," Avery joked, resting her hand down on Bucky's thigh. "Dark hair, ugly chin strap. He took instructions from Harry directly so maybe he works for him directly? Personal security?"

Steve and Bucky dove into a discussion about Osborn and next steps. Avery sat and listened, though mainly just scrolled through her phone with her free hand and shoved her cold feet under Steve's legs beneath the blanket. Eventually, Bucky freed her wrist for a break and let her have her coffee again.

"So, Stevie and I were talking last night."

Avery raised an eyebrow and glanced between the two men sandwiching her. "Did you have time to talk while exploring secret labs and taking down bad guys?"

Steve laughed. "Yes." A shrug followed. "Actually, most of this particular conversation happened after you fell asleep."

Avery nodded. "That makes more sense." After Sam and Scott left, Bucky, Steve and Avery had dove into a big discussion about what happened next.

Steve had sent all their new information to Everett Ross and his team right away, including photos and thorough details about what they had discovered. They also took the time to help Avery craft a message to her HR department about quitting her job. They figured everything that had happened Saturday was crossing lines enough and she was better off without any further ties to Simonarc. It was good timing, anyway, since Lora and Allie's wedding was the next weekend and Avery had a busy week ahead.

After all of that, Avery passed out pretty quickly.

"We know you're concerned about losing your apartment once you quit your job," Bucky started slowly. He sounded nervous, which reminded Avery of months ago when they first started talking. They had come so far since then but she wondered what this was leading up to.

"Although that would never happen," Steve added in.

"The three of us already spend so much time together that we think it might make more sense if maybe you.." Bucky paused. "Just seems so silly for us to have three apartments between us.." He sighed, bringing his right hand up to rub his neck.

"I mean, eventually, I want to start shopping for a house in Brooklyn anyway." Steve somehow sounded just as nervous as Bucky did. While Avery was feeling a strange anxiety and wave of anticipation as they spoke, part of her was finding their struggle entertaining.

She remained quiet, a smirk growing on her face as they talked.

"I have a balcony and a lot of natural light so the plants would do really well -

Steve nodded along. "In fact, I was reading that fiddle leaf plants thrive in fresh air and sunlight anyway."

"And I wanted to deconstruct the training room, too. So you can have your own bedroom if that would be easier or if you think this is too soon or..."

When they both trailed off, she realized they were staring at her.

Avery sighed. "Neither of you _asked_ me anything in the awkward rambling. You do realize that, right?"

"Oh." Bucky's face scrunched up in thought. "Didn't I? Okay. Well, would you consider moving into my apartment? Maybe not right away but in the next few months?"

Avery smiled. It made the most sense. Part of her was surprised all three of them hadn't thought to discuss this already but then again, their relationship was still new.

Definitely new.

She had only lived with one serious partner before - Seth. And that step wasn't taken until a year into their relationship. She knew it wasn't fair to compare the two relationships - they were wildly different.

Seth was somehow suffocating and distant. He was reactive and apologetic. Secretive and quick to lay blame.

But Bucky and Steve were a breath of fresh air. A support system. Caring and appreciative.

_What do I have to lose?_

"I like this idea," she said quietly, turning her lips into a smile. "On the condition that we upgrade you to a king size bed, Bucky. Since we'll still be splitting time between there and Stevie's place and your bed won't cut it anymore."

And that was it. Truly a breath of fresh air for all of them.

"But wait.." Avery's face dropped and she shifted to look at Steve. "You don't mind? The last thing I want is for you to feel left out of this thing and-

Steve cut her off with a kiss, turning his body towards her and snaking his left hand onto her hip. "Yes. You two deserve some time together sometimes, too. I get all your attention when Bucky is away on a mission. Frankly, I've never liked the idea of you living alone either way."

His words were honest and genuine and she appreciated that.

The rest of their day went by slowly. Bucky cooked breakfast while Avery cuddled up on the couch with Steve. They talked about the week ahead and their travel plans. Avery and Kasey were driving up to Boston late Thursday afternoon while the boys were going to travel on Friday.

The rest of their Sunday though? A pile of limbs on the couch, warm and cuddling. A trip to the grocery store. Fresh flowers for the apartment. Making dinner at Bucky's.

A breath of fresh air.

* * *

Monday morning came quicker than anyone wanted. Steve's phone started ringing nonstop before the sun was up, stirring all three of them from their slumber.

Avery let out a quiet whine as Steve slipped out of the bed, carefully peeling Avery away from his torso. A barely audible laugh came from Bucky as he rolled over and pulled her into his arms instead, allowing her to press against his chest.

" _Krasotka,"_ Bucky whispered into her ear. "Too early for whining." He pressed kisses against her jaw and neck, soft and sweet. Bucky was warm. It was a warm summer morning. She didn't need the body heat of both her boyfriends but she wanted it.

Selfish, maybe. But she didn't care.

Steve took the phone call far enough away from Bucky's bedroom that Avery couldn't even be bothered to try and listen. Bucky, on the other hand, clearly was listening on purpose. Avery felt his body tense up, even.

"I'll be right back," Bucky muttered against the top of her head, gently rolling her away as he moved to stand up. He tucked the blanket up over her and kissed her before exiting the bedroom and closing the door.

Avery sighed. She figured since they had gotten beyond the warehouse adventure, the sinking feeling in her stomach would go away. But now, as she laid there in bed alone, she felt it more than ever.

It was laughable to think she had no idea how to read Bucky or Steve. It was clear enough to her now they were still worried about this mess. She wanted it to be over. That was selfish, too.

Avery tried to stay alert but the longer they took talking about whatever had instigated that first phone call, the heavier her eyes felt. Though it had been a long time since she had fallen asleep alone, she rolled onto her side and curled up in the comforter, leaving space on either side for her boys to return to.

She was stirred awake once more when the bed shifted beside her. She opened her eyes to see Steve returned to the blanket escape, reaching over and pulling her in closely.

"We've gotta go to Albany for the day," Steve spoke softly. "We decided to trade off extra time in bed while we get ready."

"Booo," Avery expressed her mood quietly. "What's happening in Albany?" She moved closer - _if that was even possible_ \- and buried herself into his chest.

"Our federal contact has an appointment with a judge to push out an expedited injunction against Oscorp. But they need us there to give statements. In person."

Avery frowned. "Is that normal?"

"We hoped to do it here in the city but that could take a few days. This judge is doing us a favour." Steve's hands started to roam up and down her back. "You can stay in bed as long as you like though."

Just as Avery was falling asleep against Steve, Bucky was coming through the door again, fresh from his shower. He got half dressed, quickly, and replaced Steve on the bed.

Though they shared a body wash usually, Avery noted long ago that Steve and Bucky each _smelled_ differently. She supposed it had to do with pheromones or their shampoo or something. But wrapped in Bucky's arms now, her nose was overwhelmed with spearmint and sandalwood and cedar. It was comforting.

By the time Steve came back to the room, the sun was rising and peaking through the blinds. With a dramatic moan, Avery sat up in the bed and watched as they both finally got dressed and ready to leave.

When Steve turned to look at her, he asked about her day ahead.

"Well, I'm ready to send off that letter to HR. Then I think Kasey and I are going for lunch and I need to go pick up my dress for the wedding. Big day." She smirked. "When will you be back?"

"As quickly as we can," Steve answered, glancing down to the watch on his wrist. "There are a few other things Ross needs to discuss. As long as we leave Albany before rush hour, we should be home before dinner."

"Sam's on his way," Bucky said, turning to Steve. He tucked his phone into his pocket and let out a long exhale. "Let's hope this all goes smoothly."

The boys walked Avery down to her apartment before they left, sandwiching her in an unnecessary super soldier hug.

"Say hi to Kasey for us," Bucky said as he pulled away. "Keep us updated on what you're doing, okay? Until I see Harry Osborn in handcuffs, I just…" He trailed off. "Be careful."

Avery wanted to argue away his irrational thoughts but she was still feeling a bit unsettled. She'd feel better knowing Harry was dealt with, too.

"Don't let Buck drive up your anxiety, sweetheart," Steve added in. "But call us if you need anything."

"I'm just being cautious," Bucky said, defending himself. He rolled his eyes as Steve smirked.

"I know, Buck. C'mon, the sooner we leave the sooner we can come back."

After one or two or three more kisses, the two men finally left. Going into her apartment alone, Avery was suddenly feeling _something._

A sense of dread.

It wasn't new, per se. The feeling was something that quite often went hand in hand with her anxiety, anyway. She was trying to feel excited or flush with positive anticipation, but the concerning cloud over her head lingered.

It was still there after her shower. She pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a grey Stark Industries t-shirt that must have come from Steve. She twisted it up in the front and cuffed the sleeves so it was a touch more flattering for her frame. She carefully draped her new necklace from Bucky across her chest. Wearing pieces of her boys was comforting. Though it didn't solve the looming dread.

The feeling remained after she sent off the email to HR, too.

Even though she was peppering her text messages to Kasey with emojis and exclamation points, her stomach was churning. She knew she probably needed to eat breakfast and maybe get some fresh air - that always helped her mind.

But instead of doing that, she was pacing in her apartment.

Her phone buzzed a few times.

Will: _Avery. I was disappointed to see your resignation this morning.  
_ Will: _but there are some things we need to discuss.  
_ Will: _do you have time to talk this morning?_

Avery swallowed hard as she read over the messages. All she could think to do was message Steve and Bucky.

Avery: _uh. Will wants to talk to me. Apparently there is something we need to discuss  
_ Bucky: _tell him to fuck off  
_ Steve: _don't say anything. you don't have to reply or talk to him.  
_ Bucky: _or tell him to fuck off_

Avery sighed, leaving her phone on the kitchen island while she tended to her plants instead. That would be enough of a distraction for her until she headed to pick up her dress at the boutique.

Her apartment was a comforting safe place in times of increased panic and anxiety. There was something about tending to her plants that was cathartic - knowing the greenery thrived and grew and flourished with the right amount of care wasn't just scientific.

If she wasn't so distracting with the anxious thoughts, Avery may clue into the obvious analogy unfolding in her hands.

Just like every single plant she painstakingly paid attention to - keeping them alive and green and growing - she herself could finally take the time to grow.

When she finally let herself care for her own well being - being honest with her feelings, caring for her mental health, remembering to enjoy her life, letting love in - she was starting to evolve and grow and flourish, too.

Just before noon, Avery was refilling her small watering jug when a loud knocking sounded out at her door. With heavy footsteps, she approached cautiously.

Maybe it was Bea. Although, her knock was airy and light.

As the knocking continued, heavy and forceful and _endless,_ the pit of anxiety in Avery's stomach swirled.

"Avery?"

She swallowed hard. "Will?"

"Please, we need to talk." He continued knocking.

She took a deep breath. "If I no longer work for your company, I don't owe you anything, Will." She paused behind the door, listening as his knocking stopped.

"Avery, please."

Avery knew she shouldn't open the door. It was a bad idea. But the minute she heard Will's voice crack, she gave in. Once her door was just barely opened, Will was pushing his way inside.

She scanned over his face. It was swollen around his jaw and left eye, though being poorly masked by some foundation. His lip was split, too.

"Will, what's going on?"

Before he started to reply, someone else appeared in the doorway. Or, better yet, someone blocked her _entire doorway._ His grunt of a greeting pulled Avery's gaze away from Will and towards the shadowy figure.

Her eyes moved up the man - black boots, black pants, black shirt. But it was his hands - covered in a series of rings, that made Avery's stomach drop.

"Well, if it ain't the little thing that smashed my nose this weekend.." Maxwell's voice was deep and grisly, which unsurprisingly matched his outward appearance. He had _bad guy goon_ written all over him.

Though her voice was trembling and quiet, Avery repeated her question. "Will. What's going on?"

Will swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I'm sorry but.. you've gotta come with us."

Avery's heart started to race as Will spoke. What was she supposed to do? Aside from jumping out her window, she had nowhere to escape. "What? No. Why? I'm not going anywhere with you. You can't just.. I can't." She tried to slowly take a step back, extending her hand out towards her kitchen island to find her phone.

Suddenly Maxwell's big hand was wrapped around her right wrist. He yanked her back towards the door. "You either walk out of here with us, honey. Or I carry you out."

A red flashing alarm started going off in her mind. Her eyes looked towards the hallway. Was Bea home? Maybe she could call the police? If she screamed loud enough and -

Maxwell's hand adjusted slightly, twisting Avery's wrist and pulling her arm backwards. "If you scream, I promise I have no issue dealing with your little grandma across the hall, too. So think wisely."

This was so dumb. In all her self-defense lessons and serious discussions about safety, Steve and Bucky had never covered _kidnapping_. Was this kidnapping? She wasn't a kid but was there another term for stealing a person without their consent?

And how did this blockhead of a man know about Bea? That was more worrisome than anything else to Avery. The last thing she would ever want is to cause harm to Beatrice.

She sucked in a hard breath. She wanted to think this guy wouldn't harm an innocent old lady but it seemed he had little to no qualms about inflicting any pain on another person. The marks on Will's cheeks seemed to match the rings on Maxwell's hand.

What could Avery do?

How could she get out of this? What was she supposed to do when someone grabbed her arm? Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to think back to all the time spent in Bucky's training room.

Now wasn't the time but Avery's brain would not shut up.

_What are you going to do what are you going to do what are you going to do Avery don't go with them you can't you need to get away from them you can't you can't you can't you-_

"Avery, just.. it's easier if you listen and do as you're told, okay? I'm sorry about all this. Really." While Will's words may have been genuine, his tone was far from. He sounded annoyed, tired. "Can we just get this over with."

"Is this because of that research I helped you with? I swear I didn't -

"Avery." Will growled her name. He closed his eyes, head shaking slowly.

Avery knew if she didn't do something she was just going to burst into tears. "Okay. Okay. I'll come with you. Please just.. leave Bea out of this."

Though he released her wrist so she could pull on a pair of shoes, Maxwell's hand gripped the back of her neck as they walked down the hall and away from her apartment.

Avery wanted to ask what this was all about, where they were going, why this was happening but it was as if her brain lost functionality. Her mouth was dry.

Her heart was beating out of her chest.

How would Steve and Bucky know where to find her? Where are they going to find her? Could they track her down? This was her own fault.

Her heart beat even faster.

She couldn't even remember if she had told Bucky and Steve she loved them before they left that morning. What if she didn't see them again?

"If you try to run, you'll make this a lot harder," Maxwell grunted out as they passed through the lobby, moving his hand from her neck for a few moments.

Outside the doors, a black SUV was parked and waiting. Each step Avery took towards it, being pushed along by Maxwell's sweaty hands, she felt worse and worse and worse.

Will pulled the back door open as she approached and before she could do it herself, she was being pushed inside. When the door slammed behind her, she realized she wasn't alone in the backseat.

Everything became very real the minute she saw Harry Osborn's slimey smile. His eyes narrowed when he looked over her.

"Well, sweetheart. We're taking bets on which of your superhero boyfriends shows up to save you first: America's favourite big, dumb blonde or the angry murderer with the metal arm? What do you think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: ahhhh ahhh ahhh! I know, I know. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings but I don't want to spoil anything ahead of the next chapter. A lot of things are coming to a head. After this one, there is five chapters left. Buckle up, folks.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you to everyone reading and following along with this story. It means so much to me. I know you probably see the same rambly thank you notes from authors all the time but this year especially, it's been a huge comfort having this community.
> 
> Coming up next: Albany is approximately 3 hours away from the city. And Avery is certainly not having a good day.


	26. Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: non-graphic violence, references to/implied disassociation.
> 
> Author's note: I do not really know how injunctions and the state laws really work. or energy signatures or fancy satellites or hacking. bear with me for the sake of ~fanfiction~

While Steve was used to coming across as someone who knew what he was doing - he was the man with the plan, after all - he would admit he learned how to play the part a long time ago. Yes, of course, he was good at what he did and planning and strategizing and fighting always came second nature. But there were still a lot of things he didn't know about.

He did know his own morals and ethics and trusted his gut feeling above anything else. Which is why, even though he trusted Everett Ross, Steve was still full of doubt.

"So, here's the thing," Everett was slow to start as he closed the door to the glass boardroom. Sam, Steve and Bucky had made it to Albany in record time and didn't want _slow._ They wanted quick action and to return to the city.

"We've run into a small snag. We can proceed with the injunction on any Oscorp owned building but that warehouse you flagged is under a business license in New Jersey and holding company in South America."

"But it's in New York State," Sam replied, leaning back in his chair with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm aware, Mr. Wilson." Everett sighed, scanning his eyes down across the folder in front of him. "We need a signature from a judge out of state for any building owned under this… Simon Haskell Osborn Technology corporation."

"And when will we get that?" Steve prodded, eyes narrowed.

"Hopefully tomorrow, Captain Rogers - but I'm trying to work as quickly as I can."

Bucky stayed quiet on the other side of the table, rolling his hands into fists. Despite his cleared record and pardon from the U.S. Government, he did his best to stay tight lipped and friendly when they visited with any federal staff or official.

Even if he really wanted to throw his fists into the boardroom table.

"Once we get in front of the judge, we'll fax it to the Manhattan office and we'll be off to the races."

Steve pursed his lips. "Okay. If that's all we can do right now, I guess we'll just have to wait otherwise."

Bucky let out a quiet huff. "What happens if this search today just leads them to shut down their warehouse operations or move locations?"

"Listen, Barnes." Everett sighed. "Given the photos you showed us about their operation, I don't think they could deconstruct it in 48 hours. The evidence speaks for itself."

It wasn't lost on Bucky that he was being addressed by just his last name.

"Now," Everett's eyes flicked down towards his watch. "Judge Fletcher takes his first break in ten minutes. Let's go."

* * *

_"Well, sweetheart. We're taking bets on which of your superhero boyfriends shows up to save you first: America's favourite big, dumb blonde or the angry murderer with the metal arm? What do you think?"_

Avery felt like her stomach was full of rocks. She blinked a few times, eyes boring into Harry Osborn's chest. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye.

"And keep in mind I'm not even going to start about your _fake_ boyfriend. Who - _surprise!_ \- popped up as two different people in our biometric scan last week."

Avery swallowed, hard.

"What? Nothing to say? I'm shocked."

Harry reached over and gripped her chin, tilting her head upwards to look at him.

"Hey," Will interrupted from the passenger seat. He shifted and reached back to pull Harry's hand away. "You said you wouldn't hurt her."

"And _you_ said you could be trusted with confidential information, _William_." Harry let go of Avery's face, shoving her back towards the seat. "I've spent years of time and money investing in this project and I'm not about to throw it away. And you." He paused to point at Avery. "You were a problem I didn't anticipate. But I think it'll work out in my favour."

"What?" Avery finally sputtered out a reply to him. Admittedly, Harry's bad guy speech was embarrassing. She supposed he was filling in some blanks and if he kept talking, hopefully he wouldn't touch her again. "What did I do?"

"It's not your fault, really. Will started it. But after you _lied_ to us about the awards gala, I needed to keep tabs on you. Your connection to the Avengers - I thought it was a detriment. But now it's my ticket to success."

Avery pursed her lips and grumbled. "All I did was look at research files and -

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Harry was jumping between a calm facade and a seething anger. "That _corrupt_ data drive you returned to Will - I know all the files were copied while connected to an IP address just outside the city."

Avery swallowed hard. "What you're doing is unethical. They have every right to try and stop you."

Harry just laughed, folding his hands in his lap. "Ethical doesn't make money, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that."

Harry tilted his head. "That's what the boyfriends call you, huh. How does that even work, anyway? I'm honestly impressed that someone as irritating as you managed that."

Maxwell made a gruff sound from the front seat. Avery supposed it was his version of laughter.

"I think we know how it works by now," he said with a smirk, looking in the rear view mirror at Harry.

Harry returned a smirk. Something about their interaction made Avery feel even more uncomfortable, if that was even possible. She still didn't understand how they knew about their relationship. She kept her social media locked down and hadn't even posted a photo of her and Bucky and Steve. Outside of her family and a few friends, no one was close enough to their relationship to know about it.

Avery sighed. "What do you want from me? I don't understand why you're doing this."

"Leverage. There's a reason I'm not at Oscorp right now - because federal agents are raiding the property. Based on evidence the little Avengers team rounded up. And I need the next step of this process to be over before it starts. That's where you come in." Harry leaned back against the seat, adjusting his tie. "I always get what I want and today will not be any different."

Avery swallowed the lump in her throat, inhaling deeply in an attempt to stay level-headed. She knew they should have all just stayed in bed that morning.

* * *

Bucky, Steve and Sam were back on the road by the middle of the afternoon.

The injunction was signed and pushed out at Everett's request. Following that, he made arrangements with a federal judge in New Jersey, calling in a few favours to allow a search of the S.H.O.T owned facilities as well. By the time they were climbing back into the SUV, the New Jersey officials had promised a 24 turnaround time.

To Bucky, that wasn't good enough. But Steve talked him out of expressing his displeasure and annoyance, assuring Bucky that there was nothing else they could do but at least the ball was rolling.

Bucky remained quiet as they sat through a business lunch with Everett, too.

Once they were on the interstate back to the city, Bucky kept mostly to himself. After stirring with his thoughts, after a quick stop at a gas station halfway through the drive, he finally opened his mouth again. "I don't see why you humour Ross and his ideas, Steve." Bucky was sprawled out across the backseat as Sam drove.

Steve shifted in the passenger seat, twisting to look back at Bucky. "Maybe now isn't the time to start this discussion. Until he presents us a real proposal and contract, it doesn't matter anyway."

Sam tapped his hands on the steering wheel, nodding along with Steve. "Honestly, I don't hate the idea. Partnering with the federal government opens a lot of gates -

"And closes a lot, too." Bucky grumbled.

"We would just sign on as a partner operation, Buck. We're not signing our autonomy away." Steve sighed. For months now, Everett had been trying to convince Steve to let the federal government adopt the current Avengers team and resources as a preferred team partnered with the CIA. It wouldn't change much about their day to day operations - it would more so to give them training opportunities, more manpower and the rights to consultation on foreign matters.

To Bucky, it felt like a leash.

Sam's phone ringing through the vehicle's navigation system ended the conversation. He accepted the phone call with a switch on the steering wheel and started to speak.

"Hey, it's just me." Kasey's voice sounded through the car. "Are you with my cousin's boyfriends?"

Sam chuckled. "Yes. You're on speaker."

"We have names, you know." Bucky added in, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How was lunch?" Steve asked curiously. Neither he or Bucky had heard from Avery since earlier that morning and Steve was starting to feel a bit worried about it. It wasn't completely out of character for her to ignore her phone, especially if she was busy. But the uncertainty remained.

"Good question." Kasey sighed. "Avery totally bailed on me. Well, not even. She just didn't show up at the restaurant and now she's ignoring all my phone calls and texts. I _would be_ annoyed but it's not like her. So I was just wondering if you or Bucky had heard from her. I know sometimes she gets in those funks and sort of shuts down so.."

Steve rolled his bottom lip through his teeth, turning to look at Bucky again. They both had the same face on - blank, trying to hide their concerned feelings. "We haven't talked to her in a few hours but she seemed okay this morning. We'll try her now and let you know what we hear. Thanks, Kasey."

Bucky grabbed his phone and started to call Avery but her phone simply rang then went to voicemail. While Sam and Steve exchanged cautious glances, Bucky resorted to checking the tracking app installed on her phone.

"Says she's in the apartment building," Bucky said as he turned the screen towards Steve.

"Doesn't that really just mean _her phone_ is in the apartment?" Sam asked, meeting Bucky's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Sam." Steve's voice was terse.

"What I mean is maybe she forgot her phone at home!" Sam explained quickly. "But it's telling if your mind immediately went somewhere else. You don't think.."

Bucky pursed his lips.

No, no.

He couldn't let his mind go to a worst case scenario.

Maybe Avery's day just took a turn and she went back to bed.

_Bad brain day. Sad brain day._

"How far from the city are we?" Steve had to remind himself to breathe.

"Hour and 20?" Sam guessed, glancing towards the traffic and his dashboard.

"Think you can shave off that 20?" Bucky asked. His knee started rapidly moving up and down, doing his best to center himself.

Steve pulled out his phone and brought it to his ear. "Hey Sharon. I need a favour." He paused to listen for a moment. "I need Happy to contact his team at _Square One_ and get them to pull the surveillance video from Bucky and Avery's apartment complex. Hallways, outdoor, parking lot, front lobby, stairwells. Everything. I just need to know if Avery left the building."

When he hung up, he reached back and grabbed Bucky's knee. "I'm sure she's fine, Buck."

Bucky tried to accept that. Right. She's fine. She's just bundled in a blanket at home and soon enough he and Steve would be there to comfort her. Then she'd remind them they're so irrational for looking at surveillance cameras to confirm where she was. And they'd all laugh.

That was it. Things were fine.

Steve took long deep breaths as Sam sped along the interstate, mumbling about how likely he would get a speeding ticket and he was out of favours with the state police service.

Steve's phone buzzed. He glanced at it then turned to look at Bucky. "Sharon said Happy is working on the video footage. But she could go to the building in the meantime, if we want."

Bucky swallowed hard. "No, I don't think that's necessary. She's fine, right?"

Steve nodded in agreement.

The rest of their drive went by silently. Sam didn't even bother putting any music on, as if the noise would be a distraction as he concentrated on weaving through traffic.

Eventually, Steve's phone started to ring.

Sharon.

Video call.

"Sharon. What did you find?" As Steve talked, he tipped his phone to the side, letting the video project outwards.

"I don't know how to.." she trailed off. "Just watch."

Sharon disappeared from the miniature projection and was replaced with video footage.

The first clip was a static shot from outside the front of the apartment building. A large black SUV pulled up and two people got out from the drivers side and passenger side. They were quick to recognize one as Will. The other? Based on his appearance, some hired thug.

Bucky moved forward in the seat, narrowing his eyes towards the projected video.

Sharon switched the footage. "And then.."

They watched as Will and the other guy climbed the stairs then stopped at the fifth floor. Another camera switch showed a wide angle of the hallway from the far end.

"Please don't open that door, doll," Bucky whispered. His chest was heaving with anticipation. He swore when Will pushed the door open.

"Time stamped a few minutes later.." Sharon trailed off again, speeding up the playback.

Will, head hung low, walked out of the apartment first. Followed by Avery, practically being pushed down the hallway by the other guy. The final clip Sharon showed them getting into the SUV once more. When that brute of a man shoved Avery into the backseat, Bucky let out an angry cry, throwing a punch with his left hand into the back of Sam's seat.

"Woah, fuck," Sam hissed out as his seat rumbled. "I know you're mad but we're twenty minutes out and I do not need you fucking up this vehicle in the meantime."

Steve was trying to stay levelheaded. "Sharon, did we get a read on the plates?"

"The angle wasn't great but I'm trying to link into some security cameras in the area to track where it headed. I'm downtown at HQ and ready to help, okay? We'll find her."

Steve nodded and thanked Sharon as she disappeared.

"Pull over," Bucky growled out.

"I'm doing over 70 right now, you idiot. I can't -

"Sam, pull -

Steve shifted in his chair once more, turning to look at Bucky. "Buck! You can't run there any faster than Sam can drive."

Bucky's breaths were shallow and rapid, shaking his head and staring out the window. "Steve, they took our girl!"

"I know! I know." Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "We're going to find her and -

"We said we'd keep her safe."

"We're going to find her."

* * *

Avery wasn't sure where they were taking her. She wasn't consciously aware of it but she started to block out all the noise around her. She didn't listen to Harry's smart quips or Will's grovelling. Instead, she stared out the window as her mind wandered elsewhere.

Had Steve and Bucky reached out to her? She recognized some of the landmarks as somewhere in Queens. If they're in Albany all day, how will they figure out what happened to her or where she was?

Eventually the vehicle stopped in a parking garage. Avery's door was pulled open and a grunt from Maxwell indicated she should get out.

"Where are we?" Avery asked, trailing along as they headed towards an elevator across the room. She tried to think like Bucky or Steve, paying attention to her surroundings. The parking garage wasn't empty. The elevator they got into was nice and had over 20 floors.

It had to be a hotel or a nice apartment building.

"Apparently the press is swarming my condo, too," Harry said with a sigh, glancing at his phone. "What a fucking mess. This is my, uh, back up apartment."

 _Great._ They were going to Harry's bachelor pad.

The apartment was on the top floor and looked incredibly empty. Clearly it wasn't a place he spent a lot of time or care. The windows on the far side were large, streaming in bright daylight onto the black leather couches ahead of it. There was a desk with a few large monitors on the far side of the living room.

A small kitchen was tucked into the side and beside it was a hallway that presumably led down towards a bedroom and bathroom.

Avery sat on the couch, staring out the window. She tucked her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. This was not how her day was supposed to go.

Avery tried to escape into her mind as she sat there quietly. She desperately tried to hear the voices of both Steve and Bucky, telling her she's okay and she's safe and to take deep breaths.

Her right hand found the chain around her neck, pulling at the necklace and holding the cool metal pendant in her dropped it down against her chest and breathed deeply.

She was going to be okay.

Bucky and Steve were going to find her.

Nothing bad was going to happen.

The mantras running through her mind put her at ease enough to feel centered. She opened her eyes and stared out the window once more. She supposed there were worse places she could be held captive than a high rise apartment.

A figure approached and blocked her view. Will.

"Here." Will extended a ceramic mug to her. Coffee. Avery guessed it was meant as a peace offering. She contemplated ignoring him but instead found herself reaching to grab the drink.

A quiet thank you left her lips as she held it steady, staring into the steaming mug.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry -

"Stop saying you're sorry, Will. You're not sorry. You're an idiot." Avery hissed, shaking her head. She balanced the coffee on her knee. "I didn't ask for any of this."

Will scoffed, crossing his arms. "I'm trying to be polite, Avery. You didn't turn down those envelopes of money, you know. You brought a fake date to that event - you're just as wrapped into this as I am."

Avery's eyes grew wide and she grabbed her mug, quickly standing. Without even a second to consider what she was doing, she flicked her wrist forward and splashed the hot coffee against him.

Will screamed in surprise, took a few steps back and patted the hot liquid against his suit. "Fuck. This is Armani."

"I don't give a shit." She returned to her seat on the couch. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't let those assholes take me as a hostage. You wouldn't have helped them kidnap me."

"You're not a hostage," Harry called out from the kitchen. "That's so dramatic."

"Okay, well. Can I leave then?" Avery moved to stand again, heading towards the door. Maxwell took a few steps over and blocked her path. "Then I'm a fucking hostage."

"A hostage implies I want something in return for you. There's no ransom."

Avery took a step towards him. "Then what is this?"

Harry stepped towards her the same, a smirk growing on his face. "If it's anything, I suppose it's blackmail. I'm going to use you to get what I want. You're simply a disposable pawn."

"You're bartering with my life?"

"Oh my god. Sooo dramatic." Harry moved even closer, reaching his hand out to caress her cheek. Avery pushed it away. "I'm not going to kill you. If everyone cooperates, you go home tonight unscathed." He paused and tilted his head slightly, lightly tapping the top of Avery's head. "So, play nice."

Avery lunged forward at him but was quickly pulled back by Maxwell, whose large hands dug into her shoulders. He dragged her towards the couch and dropped her down.

"You're not going to get your way," Avery said over her shoulder, looking back at Harry. "They're going to find you and rescue me and you'll be out of luck."

"Yeah. Whatever, sweetheart." Harry rolled his eyes and glanced over to Will. "We're leaving. Hope you have a change of clothes at the office because you look like shit." Harry patted Will on the shoulder then moved towards the door. "Max, I'll call you when things are ready. If you need something to do, maybe show her the video feed. I'm sure that'll be fun."

* * *

Despite seeing the video footage of Avery leaving the apartment - _no, Avery being forced into that SUV without any say_ \- there was a tiny part of Steve that hoped she would just be sitting on her couch when they bounded through her door.

But no, instead they just found an empty apartment. Her phone sat alone on her kitchen island.

When both he and Bucky stood there in silence once they were inside, a strange new feeling surged through Steve. It was more than anger. It was a combination of rage and disappointment and worry. And he knew Bucky was feeling these exact same things.

This was _new._ This intensity, this level of worry and concern for Avery. They were both hurting and Steve wanted to comfort Bucky. Something, anything. But he was hurting the same. And really, they didn't have time to sit and pout when Avery's well being was at stake.

Steve was pulled from his thoughts when he felt Bucky's arms wrap around him. "We should have all stayed in bed this morning, Stevie."

Steve fell into the hug, dropping his resolve for just a brief moment as he breathed Bucky in.

"You good?" Bucky pulled away, bringing a hand up to Steve's cheek. After his boyfriend nodded, Bucky did the same. "Now, let's figure this out."

Steve was impressed Bucky was so collected and calm.

"I assume Osborn is behind all this," Steve started, eyes darting around the apartment in case any clues had been left behind. "But where would they take her? And why?"

As they continued to speculate, Sam walked in. He confirmed the building was otherwise secure and reported that he spoke to some people downstairs if they had seen anything.

It was then Steve's phone buzzed. Bucky's did too. Then they buzzed again. And again. And again.

Steve sighed and pulled his phone from his pocket, assuming it was an update from Sharon. But instead, he saw multiple picture messages from an unknown number.

"What the fuck?" Bucky dropped his phone to the ground, his head rapidly scanning Avery's kitchen. He pushed past Steve and grabbed one of the chairs, shoving it towards her countertop. He stood and ran his hands over top of her highest cabinets.

Steve's eyes were glued to his phone. They were photos of Avery's apartment. A wide angle, as if taken from the location where Bucky was now searching. How was there a camera in her apartment? How did they not find it before?

The photos were unsettling. There was one of just Avery walking around in a towel. There was one of all three of them lounging on the couch. The next was the night of their big fight, with Avery collapsed on the ground.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Bucky grumbled out, hopping down from the chair. He tossed a tiny surveillance camera down onto the island. "I am going to kill him."

Steve picked it up, letting it sit in the palm of his hands. It was smaller than a thimble, with a microscopic lens and a clear casing. "Has this been here since the break in? I did a scan of this entire apartment."

"I did, too." Bucky's heart rate was growing. The more and more this entire thing escalated, the worse he felt.

They had failed Avery.

 _He_ had failed Avery.

He grabbed the camera from Steve, peering into the lens for a moment as he pinched it between his thumb and fingers on his left hand. Then he crushed it like it was a bug, letting the pieces fall to the ground.

"What the fuck are we going to do?" Bucky shook his head. "This isn't fair. She should not have been involved in this entire mess. I didn't want this to happen - I knew.. I always knew this was a huge risk and that's not fair to her."

"Bucky, listen to me. Please." Steve took a step towards him, on the opposite side of the island. "We can't sit here and talk about what shouldn't have happened. We need to focus on finding her and dealing with this."

As Bucky's phone buzzed once more, he felt a lump in his throat.

Unknown: _if you're wondering, yes. we have footage of what happened on that couch last week.  
_Unknown: _and as long as she behaves and you listen to my requests, not a hair on her head will be touched. All the footage disappears. We shake hands like nothing happened.  
_Unknown: _so, let's talk._

A loud, guttural scream left from Bucky's throat. The anger pulsed through his entire body, pushing outwards into his fists. He raised his hands and slammed them onto the kitchen island, smashing through the slab of wood on top. The splintering of the wood echoed through the apartment.

* * *

Avery didn't love being left alone with just Maxwell.

Despite her concentrated rage towards Will, she _knew him._ And even though Harry was a scumbag, Avery felt she could handle him.

But Maxwell, he was a scary mystery. He sat across the room from Avery, on a plain kitchen chair. He spent his time either laughing at videos on his phone or trying to talk to her. She mainly just ignored him.

Without her phone or a watch, she had no idea how much time had gone by. Sitting on the couch, she just tried to think she was anywhere else. Mainly, her thoughts let her escape to the lake house.

Instead of being locked in an apartment with a strange man, she was sitting on the dock with Steve and Bucky.

She wasn't sitting with regret about skipping breakfast. She was waiting for Steve to fire up the barbeque.

The view ahead of her wasn't the far off Manhattan skyline or the tops of other buildings in Queens. It was a setting sun over a sparkling lake.

It was safe.

It was home.

Maxwell's meaty hand on her shoulder woke her from the daydream. "Wanna see something fun?"

She didn't appreciate how his hand lingered. She turned her head and watched as he dropped in front of the computer screens, keying a few things into the keyboard. Suddenly, one of the large screens was displaying a video feed. From across the room, it looked vaguely familiar.

"Is that.." Avery trailed off, standing up off the couch and taking a few steps toward him. "That's my apartment. What the.."

Avery felt like her lungs were shrinking. Her breathing became shallow as she thought back to the last few months and the time she spent in her apartment. But how did they have a camera in there?

Maxwell laughed as he watched her brain work. "Harry wanted to keep an eye on you a few months ago. He knew you were connected to those leftover Avengers somehow."

Avery gulped. "It was.. Harry broke into my apartment?"

"That was me, honey." Maxwell grinned. "I tried to go back and remove it weeks ago, too. But I couldn't get in. Though it served us well. Lots of fun footage. Especially last week."

As she took in his words and his sneer and his chuckling, a wave of nausea hit Avery. The same violated feelings she had when the initial break in occurred sat on her shoulders like dead weight. Who had access to these? Did this perv Maxwell really..

She was going to throw up. She rushed down the small hallway to the bathroom and locked herself in.

"You're missing the reveal! This is going to be the best part." Maxwell hollered down the hall to her, as his raucous laughing sounded out afterwards.

Avery didn't care.

* * *

Sam went directly to the Simonarc office to try and track down Will.

Bucky and Steve met up with Sharon and Bruce at their Manhattan office space, drawing out potential locations where Avery might be. They had reached out to Peter to stand by for assistance and Wanda was heading in from the compound, too. They weren't sure what was going to happen but they knew an all-hands-on-deck approach was required.

"Don't you think you should tell Ross about what's going on?" Bruce pointed one of his large green fingers towards the photos of Avery's apartment that were up on the screen. "This suddenly got personal and maybe more intervention is required."

Bucky shook his head. "I don't think it would help. If we get the big guns involved, I'm worried it'll spook Osborn into doing something really stupid." His tongue glazed over his lips, taking a long deep inhale. "If we can figure out where they are, I'll go alone if I have to. We just need to separate Avery from this situation."

Steve and Sharon were pouring over a list of properties owned by both Oscorp, Harry Osborn and S.H.O.T.

"The question is - is Osborn smart enough to take her somewhere not on this list?" Steve leaned forward on the table and ran his eyes across the addresses. "I assume he wants to make finding her hard but not impossible."

Sharon hummed, unsure of the correct response. "What's plan B here? Are you going to humour him and have a conversation?"

"If I see him in person I'll snap his neck," Bucky quickly replied. "So no, I'm not willing to negotiate." He watched as Sharon stared back at him, eyes wide though she nodded in understanding. She returned to the address list with Steve, absentmindedly pulling at the small silver chain around her neck.

As Bucky watched her, his heart jumped.

"Can we look at that footage of Avery leaving the apartment again? Near the end of the hallway?"

Sharon nodded and did as he requested, moving her fingers across the screen on the table and pulling up the surveillance video Happy had procured. She paused the footage just before they exited the hallway.

"Can you.." Bucky motioned his hand and Sharon zoomed in as best as she could. He slapped his hand down on the table as a small moment of relief sparked in him. "She's wearing the necklace."

Steve turned to Bucky, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe that could work."

Bucky nodded quickly and looked towards Bruce. "Is it possible to narrow in on the frequency or energy signature from a metal?"

Bruce adjusted his thick frames as his eyes moved from Bucky to Steve, taking a moment to think. "I can but there's a lot of metals out in the world. If her necklace is made of silver or steel or -

"It's vibranium." Bucky moved his left arm. "Shuri made it out of a plate she replaced on my arm."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay. We can do that." Bruce stood up, motioning his head down the hall. "We can definitely do that."

While Bucky put himself into a chair directly beside Bruce in the lab, Steve couldn't sit still. He paced slowly at the back of the room, trying to listen and focus as Bruce keyed in an algorithm using Bucky's arm as a data source.

The nervous knot in Steve's stomach was just getting tighter and tighter. He had kissed Avery goodbye that morning, right? God, he just hoped she was okay. Had she eaten breakfast? She had a tendency to skip it and he could only guess these brainless idiots holding her captive weren't going to ensure she had something to eat.

His phone buzzed.

Unknown: _if you call off the feds, I'll let you know where she is  
_Unknown: _it's that easy, gentlemen.  
_Unknown: _but the longer you ignore me, the less agreeable I'll be._

Steve let out a frustrated sigh, turning his eyes towards the map of New York City appearing on the screen ahead. There was a slow loading progress bar in the middle, indicating the satellites were adjusting their scans according to Bruce.

"We should get a concentration here," Bruce pointed to their own location in Manhattan. "Based on your arm. And we'll get one whatever the shield is living." Bruce glanced at Steve curiously.

"It's in the archive at the compound currently," Steve replied to him, crossing his arms over his chest as the screen loaded. "Those are big items though. Are we sure this will find that necklace?"

Bruce shrugged. "There's no guarantee but even a faint reading would give you a place to start."

Bucky clicked his fingers on the desk anxiously as they watched the scan finish. Much to their disappointment, the satellites didn't find any other traces of vibranium.

"Damn," Bruce said quietly, shaking his head. "I can run it again, it might work with a more narrow algorithm.."

Bucky smashed his fist on the table and stood up. He was really hoping that was going to work. He moved to stand beside Steve who just exhaled deeply.

"Maybe we need to try some of these addresses," Steve said. His shoulders stretched into a shrug. "Or we talk to-

"No." Bucky shook his head. "I am not giving Osborn the upperhand."

"Buck, we need to think about Avery."

"She is _all_ I'm thinking about, Steve!" Bucky turned to face Steve, chewing on his lip. "But that doesn't mean _he_ gets his way."

Steve let out a frustrated groan and threw his hands down to his sides. "Fine. I really don't think he's going to do anything drastic - this isn't about Avery or us.. I know it's his only hand right now but if we can just figure out where they are.." Steve paused, tipping his head back and forth as he thought. "Let's narrow down which of these places he wouldn't be hiding her.."

"Hey, look," Bruce called towards them, pointing at another screen that was playing a news channel. "He's organizing a press conference." The news anchors were going on about Oscorp and the raid and what was happening next. "If Harry is at the Oscorp tower, he's not with Avery, right?"

Bucky nodded, almost hopeful. "Okay. We need to work quickly. I think getting some outside help could be beneficial.. What do you think?" Bucky raised an eyebrow towards Steve. "I think we could call in a favour."

Steve's lips turned into a smile briefly. "I mean it's worth a shot." He grabbed his phone and had it tucked between his ear and shoulder in seconds, pacing along the back of the room. "Hey Alice - it's Steve Rogers."

* * *

Avery locked herself in the bathroom. She couldn't stand the idea of even being in the same room as Maxwell if what he was telling her was the truth.

How could it not be? Clearly they had planted a camera in Avery's apartment to learn more about her connection to Steve and Bucky. But if they had been watching for months now.. Was it a live video feed? Did they see everything? Was there audio too?

It made her throw up more than once - the thought of Harry Osborn or Maxwell seeing footage of her half dressed in her apartment. Or completely naked. Or worse… doing what she did on the couch last week with Steve and then Bucky.

How on Earth could she even look at any of them now?

She sat on the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the bathtub with her legs curled up to her chest. Assuming this safe position was the only thing giving her a sense of comfort. She closed in on herself and narrowed her thoughts towards anything but her current situation.

In less than a week, she'd be slow dancing with Steve and Bucky at her sister's wedding. She could be enjoying champagne and fancy cupcakes and laughing. She would feel free. Maybe she'd have a final letter of offer to some nearby schools. She'd have a plan. She'd have.. Something other than this life.

She'd have her boys, too.

She stared off blankly - letting her mind escape to anywhere else once more. _Happy places, happy memories. She was wrapped up in blankets in Steve's bed._

The cupboard beneath the bathroom vanity disappeared.

_She was sitting in the backseat of the Jeep while Steve and Bucky argued over directions, silly smiles fixated to their faces._

The white subway tile lining the shower transformed into a blur.

_She was laughing with her brothers and sister around the dinner table at their house back in Boston._

Avery pulled her legs even closer towards her chest and cradled her head, breathing deeply and slowly.

_She was holding her mother's hand as they walked along Myrtle Beach._

The memories released a few ounces of serotonin - enough to keep Avery's will from faltering entirely. She was going to make it through this. She was going to be okay. They were going to find her, save her.

* * *

_"You're not alone in this, Ave."_

_"We're not going anywhere, Avery."_

" _You're okay. You're safe. It's okay."_

_"I promise you're not in danger, Avery,"_

_"Nothing is going to happen to you."_

* * *

"You know, contrary to popular belief, I know how a phone works, Steve. Actually, wasn't I the one who taught _you_ how to send a text message when you first came out of the ice?"

Steve managed to laugh at the response he got over the phone. Admittedly, it was a nice change of pace over the stress of the current situation. But he sobered up quickly, nodding his head. "Alice, I need your help."

"Somehow I knew this wasn't a social call." He could hear the pause of her footsteps and a small grunt as something large and heavy hit the ground. "What do you need? What can I do?" If there was one thing Steve appreciated about his old friend, it was her willingness to assist and trust him - with sincerity, no questions asked.

"I need access to security cameras and any infrared sensors in two dozen buildings in the city. I'll send along the address list."

"That's a lofty ask. What's the timeline here?"

"As soon as possible. We've got a.." Steve let out a long sigh. "Someone.. someone we love is being held somewhere and we think it might be one of these locations. Please, Al. You're our best shot if we want this done quickly."

There was a beat of silence before hurried footsteps sounded out again. "Say no more, Steve. It's okay - I'll do what I can. I can get to the city if you need me, too."

"I don't think we're there yet but I'll keep you updated, Al. We owe you - big."

"Give Bucky a kiss on the cheek for me, will ya?"

Steve ended the call and forwarded along the required information, nodding as he met Bucky's gaze. "She's working on it." He rubbed his hands together and let out a long breath. "I don't like the idea of just waiting here but… I don't know what else we should do right now."

Bucky was pacing around Bruce's lab, pretending not to watch as he continued running the scan for a vibranium signature. "I keep thinking about how we should have talked to her about something like this. I wanted to pretend it wasn't a possibility - that we wouldn't let this happen. But.. how long do we wait to tell her family? What if something bad happens?"

Steve sat down at a chair and leaned forward on the table, huffing out a laugh. "I would have told her to listen, do as they say and be patient. You would have told her to try and fight."

Bucky smiled momentarily. "You're not wrong."

Bruce raised an eyebrow, looking away from his keyboard and glancing between the two super soldiers. "And who would she listen to? Is she waiting patiently or fighting, do you think?"

Bucky met Steve's eyes. They both nodded. "Fighting."

* * *

Avery wasn't sure how long she stayed in the bathroom alone. It could have been ten minutes or three hours. She drowned out her growling stomach and spoke quietly to herself, doing her best to stay grounded. She clutched the pendant around her neck, drawing her thumb across the back and letting the vibrations help soothe her.

It wasn't until a loud banging at the door sounded that she broke out of her bubble.

"We're leaving." Maxwell's voice was demanding and tired. "Open the door."

Avery pulled herself up off the floor, crossing her arms. "Where are we going?"

The door shook as he tried the door handle. "Open the door. Now."

Avery pursed her lips - contemplating. She supposed locking herself in and staying away from him was only going to work for so long and angering him was not going to help her situation. But maybe this was an opportunity to learn more.

"I'm not playing around." The door shook again. "You think I'm the only one on payroll for Osborn? I can send a guy to your apartment building in an instant. What was grandma's name?"

Avery gulped, bringing a hand up to grasp her necklace again. No. Not Bea. That wasn't fair.

"Okay, okay. Fine." The door flew open and Maxwell reached for her, grabbing onto her right arm and pulling her towards the front of the apartment.

She yanked her arm away and grumbled she'd go with him willingly, taking her time as they approached the elevator. Maxwell stood with his arms crossed as the doors closed, staring at Avery as she waited in the corner of the space.

"Why do you do this? Does it pay well?" Avery was certain that egging on the bad man with the upper hand would be on the list of things Steve would advise against, but she was tired of this guy.

"You know, this would be a lot easier for both of us if you just shut up." With a smirk on his face, he hit the stop button on the elevator. It shook and quickly halted. He took another step towards her, bringing a hand up towards her. It landed on the front of her chest, slowly crawling upwards to her neck.

"Let go of me," Avery tried to be demanding but her voice shook. "Please."

"All I have to do is get you to the next location _alive_. No one said you had to be _awake._ " His other hand reached for her waist and pushed her flush against the back of the elevator. She yelped at the touch, sending one of her knees upwards between his legs. He stumbled back, cursing in pain.

"Stop touching me and I'll go with you, okay?"

"You little fuckin' bitch," he mumbled out, starting the elevator once more. Their descent was slow and steady. The elevator doors opening at the parking garage level interrupted Maxwell's threatening pose. He walked out first, motioning for Avery to follow.

She hesitated. Looking out into the parking garage, she had the same thought running through her mind suddenly: _run run run run run run run run run_

Maxwell was heading towards a black sports car to the left of the garage and there was an emergency staircase on the back right, beyond a series of empty parking spaces. Just beside that, the exit ramp to go upwards and out of the garage. It only had a large lever gate so she could easily get under it. But - was she fast enough to outrun Maxwell?

He wasn't heavyset, really. Large, wide. Dense. But combative didn't mean agile.

"Let's go." Maxwell turned to look back at her. "Don't even think-"

Across the garage, quick, light footsteps echoed. "Avery?" Without even a further moment of hesitation, Avery started to run towards the voice once she saw who it was. Spider-Man himself had bounded down the exit ramp and was heading towards her.

"I don't think so." Maxwell growled out and moved just the same, reaching into one of the pockets on his black cargo pants and producing what looked like a small gun. He didn't wait to fire it at Avery.

She collapsed to the ground with a groan as a surge of electricity hit her in the back. Her knees rubbed against the rough asphalt as pain reverberated through her boys. While she was grateful it wasn't a real bullet, whatever special taser Maxwell had was _strong._

Peter kept running towards her, shooting a heavy web towards Maxwell to slow him down.

It wrapped around Maxwell's feet but his hands were still free to pocket his gun and yell loudly, unlatching a small leather section of his belt. He produced a clear vial and cracked it open in front of his face, inhaling the vapour deeply.

"Hey, hey. Are you okay? Can you walk? We've gotta get out of here," Peter crouched in front of Avery, who was still collapsed on the ground.

"I'm okay, I can.." Avery took a deep breath, trying to concentrate all her energy on standing up. She needed to follow Peter, she needed to get away. He stood and extended his hand down to help her up but before she was even onto her knees, Maxwell approached quicker than ever before and reached for Peter, launching him down the garage.

"Holy shit.." Peter took a deep breath after barrel rolling to a stop, eyes wide across his mask as he watched the man lift up Avery and throw him over his shoulder.

"Please, just let me go!" Avery was throwing her fists and kicking her legs as Maxwell hurried back towards his car. When he dropped her down, throwing open the back seat, she tried to run once more.

Maxwell was faster than her this time, reflexively extending his hand out and grabbing a fistful of her hair, yanking her towards him again. Peter ran and intervened, trying to grab Avery around the waist to help her become free from his grip but the tug of war was won by Maxwell.

Maxwell then narrowed his sights on Peter alone, tossing Avery against the car and lurching forward, throwing his fists up and _fighting._ Even from her view slumped against the car, Maxwell was keeping up with Peter in an impressive way. He dodged, kicked and tossed Peter like he weighed nothing.

Eventually, Peter put a hand up to his ear and stilled. He held his hands up in defeat and retreated a few steps away from the rage-filled Maxwell, conceding.

Avery's mouth fell open in surprise as Peter just turned and headed out. Why was he giving up? Max retreated back and pulled Avery to her feet, shoving her into the backseat of the car with the same carelessness as before.

Her knees ached. Her back was still tingling. Her head was starting to pound. Her eyes flicked momentarily to the front seat as Maxwell took deep breaths, muttering to himself as he came down from whatever high that vapour had given him.

Quietly, she asked where he was taking her.

He laughed, speeding out of the parking lot and up the ramp towards the street level.

"Play stupid games - you win stupid prizes, sweetheart."

* * *

"We got something!" Bruce's excited shouting caused Bucky and Steve to rise from their seats, heading towards the scientist to look at the map. "It's faint but it just picked up. Here." His green index finger was pointed towards the top of Queens.

"How the fuck do we get out there?" Bucky was scrambling. Sam was still out looking for Will Simon and driving there would be a nightmare.

"Call the kid," Steve replied, standing and grabbing his phone. He directed Alice to narrow in on whatever building was listed in College Point. A few short minutes later, they had feeds to surveillance cameras throughout the building.

It was a high end apartment complex and thanks to that vibranium necklace, they had managed to find her. Finally. Steve and Bucky both stood in front of the screen, eyes scanning throughout the videos until they saw Avery appear in an elevator.

There was a brief moment of relief for the men as they saw that Avery was _okay_. She was standing and although they couldn't hear what she was saying, clearly her spirits were high enough that she hadn't entirely shut down. Then they both watched as that hired thug, who they could only assume was Osborn's guy Maxwell, had his hand around her neck after he stopped the elevator.

Bucky took in a sharp breath, heart rate growing. When Maxwell pushed her further into the corner, both hands on her body, he felt his chest tighten.

When Avery threw her knee up in between his legs, causing the guy to let go and walk away, he felt an unusual surge of pride. At least their self defense lessons had paid off.

"Peter, go straight down to the parking garage once you get there," Steve spoke quickly into his earpiece, eyes never leaving the screens ahead of him. "We need to stop them from leaving."

" _I'm a block away now. Okay."_ Peter's breathing was quick, indicating he was in motion then landing on the ground, running.

It was unsettling to watch it all unfold in real time, knowing they were halfway across the city and unable to help. They heard Peter calling out for Avery once he got to the garage. The video cameras in the area were far away but the angle was enough to see Avery get hit with some sort of taser.

Steve's knees buckled when he saw her collapse to the ground. But when she stood up again and tried her best to fight against Maxwell, his worry mixed in with a weird sense of pride, too. It was clear that thug had taken that stupid performance enhancing inhalant and despite Peter's attempt at intervening, it was proving effective.

Steve flicked his eyes over to Bucky and they both nodded, just slightly.

Steve instructed Peter to pull back. If they kept fighting, Avery might end up getting in more trouble. As long as they could track her now, they could go after her. They desperately wished this wasn't the way it had gone, but if moving her to a second location would keep her safer, they had to let it happen.

"I'll.. track where they go.." Bruce said quietly, turning his eyes to his map again.

Bucky balled his hands into fists at his side, letting out a long series of expletives. Watching Avery fight and collapse, her body slumping down against the car, being pushed into the backseat once more.. His mind was reeling.

All his brain would focus on was next steps.

Getting his hands on that man and tearing him apart.

Steve closed in the space between himself and Bucky, reaching for his hands. Before the empty platitudes could leave his tongue, feet were heard running through the hallway. Sharon appeared at the door, motioning down the hallway. "Sam found Will Simon. He's holding him in the boardroom."

* * *

"Bucky! Buck. Stop, you've gotta.."

Steve had tried to stop Bucky from bounding down towards the boardroom but Bucky proved faster. By the time Steve made it there, Bucky already had Will pressed up against the wall with a hand at this throat.

At least it was his right hand. Sam was watching from a seat on the other side of the table, a small grin on his face.

"Buck." Steve walked over and put a hand on Bucky's shoulder, encouraging him to let go. "Not the time."

As Bucky released his hand, Will slumped down against the wall, gasping for air. He looked absolutely terrible - suit disheveled and stained with coffee, tired eyes and an anxious shake.

"I'm so sorr-

"No. We don't have time for that bullshit either." Steve cut him off, pointing to one of the chairs so he would sit down. "Where are they taking her?"

Will shook his head. "Harry has kept me out of the loop ever since the event last week. He just told me to go with Max to get her and that's it. My guess is the warehouse." He sighed. "He told me he had no plans to hurt Avery, I swear. She's just a.. bargaining piece."

"Well, she's already been hurt so you better hope nothing else happens to her." Bucky leaned down on the table and pointed directly at Will. "This is your fault. You put her in danger more than once and for what - what do you get out of this? Money?"

"Freedom." Will shook his head again. "Osborn deals in secrets. He has some information about me that is supposed to go away once this is over. Well, once he makes his big sale. And.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Avery was not supposed to.."

Sam stood up from his chair. "Tell them what you told me."

Will looked up and his eyes darted around the room, bouncing from Sam back to Steve. He wouldn't look at Bucky. "The warehouse.. When we built it, Harry and his dad wanted a contingency plan. If he's backed up his data and started moving the cargo, I'm sure he'll follow through with it before he lets anyone inside."

"Contingency plan?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"He had us install an explosive wiring line through the underground. He'll blow the entire place up before he lets anyone get to that research. We'd all get a cut of the insurance money and rebuild at another site. He's been planning for it this entire time, in case he was found out."

Steve sighed, clenching his jaw tightly. "That's.."

"Illegal, unethical and immoral? Idiotic?" Will answered for him. "I know. He wasn't always like this - I grew up with the guy - but something in him shifted after the snap. He can be a bit unhinged, especially if he doesn't get his way. The minute you fail to give into him, he's going to go off the rails."

Bucky let out a quiet groan and threw his hands up. "I'm not waiting here any longer. Steve, we need a plan and we need to move. Tell Osborn we're coming to him."

* * *

Avery would have been happy to never return to that stupid warehouse. It just sent shockwaves of stress through her to think about that day she was there with Will and that security guard disappeared. When they pulled up to the building, after securing her hands with some sort of magnetic cuff, Maxwell quickly shuffled her inside.

Harry was waiting there, phone to his ear and a chipper smile on his face.

Avery had a sudden urge to throw up again.

She tuned out his pleasantries and small talk, begrudgingly following them into the elevator and disappearing underground.

"You're suddenly so quiet," Harry said to her with a smirk, slipping his phone into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "It's nice."

Avery couldn't be bothered to reply. She was hungry and exhausted and just so _tired of everything._ She didn't want to fight or argue. She wanted to go home.

She wanted a hot shower. She wanted to crawl into bed with her boys and overheat. She longed to feel content and comfortable.

Harry made some offhand comment to Maxwell about how it was almost over. Avery hoped that meant Steve and Bucky were on their way.

When they got to the lower level, she was directed out of the elevator. Their feet echoed through the space, which looked to be in the middle of production and organizing shipments to leave, with large cases open across the tables. They were lined with fabric padding and glass vials, like the one Maxwell had used in the parking garage.

When Harry started moving towards the viewing room, Avery stopped. A large window looked through to a white chair lined with straps and restraints.

For the first time that day, a different type of fear coursed through Avery.

"C'mon." Harry pulled her hands, though Avery was doing her best to resist.

"No, please. Don't. I don't want t-

"Stop, stop." Harry laughed, hitting a button on a nearby control panel. A door at the side of the observation room slid open. "I'm not going to do anything. This is performance art. I just need to scare your big dumb boyfriends."

"No." Avery tried to pull anyway once more, but she felt Harry move to grip her neck. He wasn't gentle.

"Max?" Harry pushed Avery forward towards the door. "Just help me get this done, please. You know I don't like to use force."

Maxwell grunted out a laugh and stretched his arms over his head, making his way to where Avery was struggling with Will. "Luckily, I do like to use force."

* * *

Harry requested a meeting with just Steve and Bucky. He made a point to explain he actually only wanted to speak to Steve - but he understood circumstantially they were a package deal.

His demands were easy: no weapons, no fighting, just a discussion and a resolution in Harry's favour, then Avery was free to go.

Steve did end up calling Ross and letting him know what was going on. Their conversation was heated and in the end, Ross agreed to let them go ahead and meet. He was confident they had enough evidence to pursue a trial but was adamant they needed at least a sample of the chemical and any possible data files available.

It was early evening when Steve and Bucky finally made it to the warehouse. They had Sam, Wanda and Peter nearby as backup. While they would comply with Harry's request to come alone, they knew he wasn't going in unprepared, either.

As Steve and Bucky walked towards the elevator, which was open and waiting for them, they could see half a dozen people waiting in the nearby office space.

Once they were in the elevator, Sam had instructions to knock out the surveillance lines and secure the building.

Bucky had argued the no weapons thing but Steve knew this wasn't about fighting. That wasn't the game Harry Osborn was playing. He just wanted to _win_ and get his way.

They were silent as the elevator moved descended. Steve reached down and squeezed Bucky's hand.

There was nothing to say. They really both had the same thought running through their mind: is Avery okay?

Please, let her be okay.

When the elevator doors opened into the lab, the first thing they heard was music. They stepped out slowly and cautiously, eyes rapidly moving around the room to see what they were walking into. Everything mostly looked the same as it did when they had been down there a few days ago - save for a huge pile of shipping containers. It was clear Harry was intending on leaving this place behind.

Near the center console area of the lab sat Harry and Maxwell, playing with a deck of cards like they had all the time in the world. Harry paused to stand as they headed towards him.

"You made it! Unarmed, I hope. Well, aside from.. the arm."

Maxwell glanced at one of the screens on the console. "No weapons detected in the elevator scan, boss."

Bucky felt Steve's hand grip his shoulder, a mumble of his name hanging in the air.

"Look.." Steve pointed towards the glass viewing window.

Avery.

She was strapped to the chair behind the glass, t-shirt torn open. A series of wires and sensors were stuck across her chest and torso. But she was slumped over, hardly moving.

Bucky shouted her name and rushed over to the glass, banging aggressively. He watched as her body tensed and shifted in the chair.

"What did you do to her?" Steve had gone the opposite direction, beelining a path to Harry. Maxwell stood and put himself between Steve and his boss, stance wide, arms crossed.

"Oh, nothing. Honestly." Harry stepped out to the side of Maxwell, smirking. "She's fine. Just cried and hyperventilated for a while then tired herself out. Her vitals are perfectly normal, considering." He held his hands up as if to claim innocence.

Steve knew very well he could easily take down Maxwell and compromise Harry, too. But this wasn't about a fight.

"Open this door," Bucky demanded, eyes glued to Avery. He couldn't take seeing her sitting there so helpless. She didn't ask for any of this.

He was supposed to keep her safe.

_Lack of control._

_Lack of consent._

_Restraint._

This was their fault.

This was _his_ fault.

"No, no, not yet." Harry clicked his tongue, leaving a grin on his face. "She's the best bargaining chip I have. Let's talk business first then she's all yours. Step away from the glass, pal."

Throughout the day, one of the only things keeping Bucky afloat was seeing Avery again. The other thing that told him to _keep going_ was the image of him choking Harry Osborn.

Choking his stupid, leathery neck until he sputtered one last breath...

Bucky took in one last long breath and looked away from Avery, walking back towards Steve.

Harry waved Maxwell away, leaving him alone with just Steve and Bucky. "Shall we sit?"

Bucky crossed his arms. Steve remained still.

"Okay, no sitting." Harry raised his eyebrows with a shrug. "Listen. There's no need to beat around the bush here. You, the good guys, found out about what I was doing. I'll admit I thought I was doing a fairly good job keeping this on the down low but that idiot Will Simon really fucked it up for me."

Steve wasn't going to reply.

Harry carried on. "I just.. I want to keep doing what I'm doing and I think you're going to let me."

"We are not." Steve adjusted his stance, shoulders broad. "But we're here to give you the opportunity to turn yourself over to the Federal Government before this gets worse for you."

Harry laughed, shaking his head. "No. That's definitely not the outcome I want. Let's meet in the middle? Call off the injunction."

"No."

"That was a long shot." Harry clapped his hands, as if having a revelation. "Let's try again. Call off the injunction, destroy my case files, turn a blind eye."

"If you think we're going to let you get away with illegal weapon manufacturing and selling chemical enhancements to the highest bidder, you're very mistaken." Steve took a step towards Harry. "So I would suggest you just listen to us."

"Okay, okay. Let me speak more clearly." Harry stepped away from them and hit a switch on the console. A piece of machinery powered on and across the room, the chair Avery was sitting in adjusted. "The fate of whatsername rests on these critical decisions that need to be made."

Steve and Bucky both inhaled sharply, looking towards the window. The movement stirred Avery awake and she started to writhe in the chair. Her head rolled from side to side, trying to pull herself from the straps wrapped tightly around her wrists. She stilled, eventually, and finally her eyes looked out the glass window. Bucky rushed over towards her again, ignoring the calls from Harry and he placed his hand up on the glass.

He watched as Avery shouted for him, for help. He could hear the shrill timbre of her voice, even through the heavy glass.

"Open that door. Now." Bucky motioned his arm towards the door, eyes glaring back towards Harry momentarily.

"We've actually never tested _300x_ on any female subjects.. female, about five and a half feet tall, 145 pounds? Curious." Harry turned quickly and started to type onto a keyboard on the console.

"Open the door!" Bucky was yelling towards Harry, moving to try and pull at the handle. Even his metal arm seemed to struggle to pull at the lock mechanism.

"Buck!"

Everything seemed to come to a head all at once.

Thanks to Steve's warning call, Bucky turned to see Maxwell barreling toward him. Bucky let out a short laugh, standing wide with his left arm up as his right hand reached behind his back to pull a gun out from his waistline.

A shitty, poorly made gun that he had pulled out of their own evidence locker. They had kept a few samples of the sleytium weapons they had confiscated months ago and ironically Bucky knew it might come in handy to hide on his person undetected. He quickly fired off two shots, hitting Maxwell in the right shoulder and the left thigh. He collapsed to the ground.

At the same time, Steve lunged at Harry and pulled him away from the console. He held him up by the collar, applying just enough pressure to his throat. "You need to stop this, now. Open that door."

"I ca-can't.." Harry sputtered out, eyes wide. "Once the sequence starts, there's a failsafe that the lock won't move until it's done. Ooops. Poor planning, I guess."

Steve threw Harry to the ground, dropping to sit at the console and attempting to try and stop the program from running. "Buck, you've gotta get in there somehow." Before Steve was even done speaking, Bucky was slamming his left fist into the viewing window.

On the other side of the glass, Avery was still pulling at the straps on her arms and legs. It was no use, of course. She was stuck and she could hear something happening above her. She looked up, screaming as the mechanism of the air vents sounded out and a white vapour started pouring out.

The air became thick. With her eyes shut, Avery held her breath as best as possible.

Faintly, she could hear Bucky on the other side of the window. The sound of his metal fist connecting with the glass again and again echoed through the room.

Avery's head grew lighter and lighter as she tried to stop from inhaling but eventually her body's basic instinct took over and her lungs begged for reprieve. From the instant her mouth opened, she gasped and coughed.

A strange new sensation coursed through her. At first, it was exhilarating. It was short lived, though, being replaced with sharp pain throughout her body.

She bit down and screamed, willing herself to dull the pain.

Her mouth tasted coppery.

Her body was quick to try and reject the unfamiliar chemicals but the impact was still felt. Her skin began to itch and her heart rate picked up even more. The thumping in her chest was felt throughout her body, easily drowning out all the noise happening around her. Her limbs worked as if they lost the connection to her brain, with her right arm pulling against the restraint even harder.

Then, her body just gave up. The shattering of the glass window was the last noise she heard.

* * *

"Sam! Osborn set his self-destruct sequence and fled. Do not let him leave the property."

* * *

"Please exit the building. 240 seconds remain. Please exit the building."

* * *

"Alice, I hope that's enough time to back up this data."

"It's at 80%. I'm doing everything I can, I promise."

* * *

"Avery, baby, I need you to hold on, okay? Don't let go of Stevie."

* * *

"100 seconds remain."

* * *

"The stairwell is clear."

"Sam, get everyone as far away as possible."

* * *

"You're gonna be okay, sweetheart. I promise. We're almost there."

* * *

"30 seconds remain. 29. 28. 27."

* * *

"Wanda! Go!"

* * *

Steve could hear his heart in his ears when Bucky kicked through the exit door. He had never been so relieved to feel rough gravel under his feet.

He ran with Avery cradled in his arms. In the soft pink light of the sunset, all he could focus on was the blood lingering on her lips. He could feel her chest moving up and down, though the breaths were shallow.

She was alive.

She was safe.

In a few more seconds, with Bucky at his side, they were hundreds of feet from the building.

Steve fell to his knees, cradling Avery to his chest. Wanda stopped ahead, waving her hands and creating a controlled shield surrounding herself and them as the building continued to destruct.

Steve was no stranger to loud noises but the series of explosions sending the warehouse down behind them sounded like his days in a bunker, deafening and daunting.

He wasn't sure what was going to happen next. He had no idea if Sam had tracked down Harry Osborn.

With Bucky's arm over his shoulders and Avery sobbing into his chest, there was only one thing Steve knew: they definitely should have stayed in bed that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WELL, this was a brand! new! challenge! for me. I enjoy a good hurt/comfort/kidnapping/saving someone trope and I always wanted to incorporate it into this story. I hope it all made sense and came to a head in a logical way. my poor lil Avery.
> 
> thank you thank you thank you to everyone reading and commenting and subscribing and bookmarking!! I appreciate each and every one of you. <3
> 
> and fun fact: hi Alice! for those of you who are curious, Alice is an original character who belongs to my dear friend EirlysLavellan. Alice is one of my favourite characters I've ever read in a fanfiction and I wanted to incorporate her into my section of the multiverse somehow ;) I needed an expert tech wizard and just had to slot her in. we'll see her again before the story wraps up! In the meantime, here is my usual pitch to check out As The Sky May Fall and get to know Alice yourself!
> 
> next up: uhmmm, recovery. for a frightened, worrisome Avery and her protective, guilt-ridden boyfriends. oh. and better get it together before the wedding, folks.
> 
> oh and stay tuned for a special holiday~~~ bonus one-shot with these big dumb idiots :)


	27. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: anxiety, panic attacks, general recovery and traumatic response. And some good old fashioned comfort after the hurt.

The first thing Avery felt as she slowly woke up was the soft, warm blankets surrounding her. It felt like a strange dream, though, as her consciousness caught up to her.

She wasn't in her own bed. Or Bucky's bed. Or Steve's. The light streaming in from the far window was bright and she could see the tops of buildings throughout Manhattan.

She was in Manhattan.

She was in a hospital room.

Her wide eyes amplified the space: it was white and clinical, with soft pink accents of colours and beeping machines. She could hear a few voices in the hall. One belonged to Bucky.

But where was Steve? Ah..

To her right, she found him slumped over in a chair, eyes closed. He was wearing his tactical gear still - blonde hair disheveled and unclean, his layer of clothes covered in dirt and grime.

How did she get there? What time was it? What day was it? The aches of her body waved through her like a pulse. Flicking her gaze down, she saw an IV drip line attached to the top of her left hand, and an oxygen monitor clipped to her index finger. On the other side, her right wrist was cradled in a white plastic splint.

She was dressed in a plain grey hospital gown and as she gently raised her left hand, she confirmed her suspicion. The itchy feeling on her chest was thanks to a series of clips and sticky monitors, with wires flowing down towards a machine that sat to her left.

In an instant, everything came back to her.

_Maxwell, Will, the apartment, the surveillance camera, the parking garage, the warehouse, the chair in the observation room, their rush to escape, a building going up in flames.._

Avery did her best to control the invasive anxious thoughts that started to flood her mind but her deep breaths proved useless. The machine monitoring her vitals started to beep rapidly, indicating her increased heart rate and attempts at oxygen consumption. Why weren't her lungs working properly?

The noise was enough to stir Steve from his sleep. With wide eyes, he sat up and looked over at Avery's face - it was painted with fear and concern. She whispered out his name and reached for him, eyes tightly shut.

"Avery, you're okay. You're okay." Steve was on his feet and at the side of her bed immediately, yelling for a nurse. Hurried footsteps brought in an older black woman dressed in navy blue scrubs, followed by Bucky.

The nurse quickly waved Steve away from the bed and she grabbed Avery's left hand, glancing from the beeping machine to Avery. Her eyes were still clamped shut and she was gasping for air.

"She can't breathe!" Bucky started, attempting to conceal the panic in his voice.

The nurse scoffed, turning her attention directly to Avery. "Honey, I need you to try and take a deep breath, okay? My name is Nancy, I want to ask you a few questions. Can we try that?"

Avery grasped the woman's hand, then slowly opened her eyes. She was met with a warm gaze and a wide, comforting smile from Nancy. The woman was clearly a seasoned nurse - she was quick to dismiss both Bucky and Steve, encouraging them to keep their distance while she assisted Avery.

"What's your name, honey?"

Avery took what she considered a deep breath and exhaled, slowly. "Avery. Avery Ray Felix."

"Okay, perfect. What a name!" Nancy nodded, smile never faltering. "And your birthday, honey."

Avery gripped Nancy's hand again. "Uh. January. January 15th. 1995."

"Ah. Your two boyfriends over there weren't sure." Nancy laughed lightly, ending with a roll of her eyes. "Men."

Avery's lips twitched into a smile as Nancy talked her through a few breathing exercises, asking a few more questions. Slowly but surely, the alarming beeping sounds stopped and Avery's heart rate leveled out.

Nancy gently returned Avery's hand to rest on the bed and she made a few adjustments to the machine, then checked on the IV. "How are you feeling, Avery?"

"Uhm," Avery started slowly, eyes moving towards her two boyfriends who were watching her from the corner of the room. "Okay, I guess. Sore. Tired. My brain is a bit foggy. Uhm, my lungs feel.." She paused. It felt like trying to find the words was more difficult than usual. "Like.. they aren't working at full capacity? Does that make sense?"

Nancy hummed in understanding, nodding her head. "Mm hmm. You probably need another dose of steroids but I'll leave that up to Dr. Cho. He should be back from his other rounds shortly." She made a few notes in the tablet that was resting on a side table, then turned back to Avery once more with a smile. "Are you feeling hungry?"

Avery thought about that question and once she did, her answer was immediate. It felt like she hadn't eaten in a week. "Starving."

Nancy laughed and nodded again. "I'll work on that." Another soft smile reassured Avery but it disappeared as Nancy turned to Bucky and Steve, who looked like they were going to fall over as they impatiently waited to rush to Avery's bedside. "You two need to be gentle with her. I mean that."

"Yes, of course, ma'am," Steve replied quickly, nodding his head in understanding. With one last warning glance, Nancy exited the room. The minute she crossed that threshold, Bucky and Steve rushed to Avery's side.

Their voices overlapped with apologies and worries, heavy with guilt and anger. Avery so desperately wished she wasn't tethered to the bed in so many ways - just so she could let their bodies consume her.

Steve pulled his chair as close as he could to her while Bucky _gently_ sat on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on her knee. "Avery, we're so sorry."

Avery simply closed her eyes again and shook her head. "Please don't do that. This isn't your fault."

Bucky huffed. "It is. And I will apologize about it for the rest of my life."

"Buck.." Avery couldn't fight his guilt, not now. She didn't have the energy. "Have you two been here the whole time?" She wasn't certain how long she had been in that bed. In fact, she wasn't sure what day it was at all.

Steve seemed to catch her curious thoughts. "We weren't going to leave your side, Ave. It's just after noon. Tuesday." He sighed. "You were a bit.." His eyes shut tightly for a moment. "When we got here last night, your vitals were pretty concerning. Between that and the uncertainty about what you inhaled in that room, they gave you a pretty heavy sedative. You've been asleep for about 12 hours."

"Where is here?" Avery glanced from Steve to Bucky. "Am I okay?"

"We're at Stark Industries - they have a few operational medical floors for research and development purposes, like an extended wing of Mount Sinai. It was a better choice for privacy and urgency, given the data we have about what Osborn was concocting." Steve sighed. "And, yes, you're okay. It's just -

"Steve." Bucky was quick to cut him off, sending a hard look towards his boyfriend. "I don't think we should -

"Yes, she has every right to -

"Maybe we should go over -

"Can one of you just tell me what's going on?" Avery didn't intend to raise her voice or exert so much energy. She collapsed back into her pillows, taking a long breath. Bucky and Steve quieted their approaching argument quickly and watched as she controlled her breathing once more.

Before either of them started up again, a gentle knocking alerted them of someone entering the room. Avery looked up to see a young Korean man dressed in a white lab coat, with thick framed glasses resting on his face. He offered a soft smile as he introduced himself.

"Hi Avery, I'm Dr. Cho, though you can call me Mickey." He glanced from his tablet towards her, scanning over the data on the side machine. "I'm happy to see you're awake."

It was Bruce who connected Steve with Mickey Cho when they were rushing Avery away from the warehouse. Mickey was Helen's younger brother, taking up his post as research doctor with the Stark team just after the blip. Helen still consulted as well but had moved her operations back to Korea years ago.

Mickey, though a younger doctor, had started as a pharmacist and then focused his specialization in medical technology. His partnership with Stark Industries paralleled their research goals. Not only that, he was an activist for equal opportunity healthcare and worked closely with the Stark Foundation on how to create affordable healthcare solutions.

For Avery, he was the best source of assistance due to his pharmaceutical background. She also immediately found him to be incredibly good looking.

Bucky stood, giving Avery's knee a gentle squeeze as he did, allowing Mickey a bit more space to check on her.

"Well, we're just waiting for the results of your third blood test," Mickey reported, putting down his tablet and removing the stethoscope from over his shoulders.

"Third?" Avery asked quietly as he listened to her chest, first from the front then from the back.

"Yes. Did these two fill you in at all?" Mickey offered her a small smirk. "They've been circling like hawks all night."

Avery smiled. "I think they were about to sugarcoat it, honestly. I'd just like to know everything, please."

Bucky grumbled something about her use of the term _sugarcoat_ but he otherwise kept his mouth shut as Mickey began to speak.

"On the outside, you've got a minor stress fracture in your right wrist, some bruising along your back and ribs, and some badly skinned knees. There's some redness on your wrists but that irritation should go away quickly."

Avery glanced to her wrists. The wrists that had been restrained in that god awful chair.

The chair that Maxwell had forced her into..

She shook her head as Mickey continued. "Those are all things we know will heal with time. Now, we otherwise have a lot of question marks. That inhalant was fairly unstable and not properly tested. Without knowing the exact amount of it you took in, we just need to keep an eye out for any side effects. Your first blood draw showed a concerning amount of that mystery metal and I'm worried that's what is clouding your lungs, too. The first dose of steroids made a huge difference to your breathing capacity so I think a second dose will clear that up. But, I can't be certain."

"But.. what does that all mean?"

Mickey tilted his head, returning his stethoscope to his shoulders. "Honestly, we're not sure yet. The long term effects could be minimal, if not non-existent. But this is brand new."

Avery pursed her lips. "Okay. I guess.." She paused to collect her thoughts. "I have a wedding this weekend and -

"Avery, you might ha-

She shot a glare towards Bucky, quickly cutting him off. "I'm not missing my sister's wedding because of Harry Osborn." She took in a long breath and turned back towards Mickey. "How long do I have to stay here?"

"Your vitals are level enough that I don't think we need to monitor you here. As soon as I get those lab results, I'll report back and you'll be free to go. And I don't see why you can't go to that wedding. I just need you to take it easy - no overexertion, no physical exercise. Your lungs need some time to feel better. As much rest as possible between now and this weekend."

"So, you're saying she has to let us take care of her?" Steve raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Like you're the doctor and those are your orders?"

Mickey laughed, but nodded. "If that's what you need me to say, then yes. I'm going to give you a few doses of an oral steroid for the next few days, as well. If your lungs feel worse or any other symptoms come up, let me know as soon as possible. I've got my team digging into the trial records you found to see if we can get ahead of any potential side effects."

Avery just nodded and thanked him as he left, then fell back onto the pillows with a sigh. Her mind was running faster than she could understand as she went over all the details again and again.

"Avery, talk to us."

She wasn't sure who had said that.. Steve, she assumed. But it felt like she was floating away into her worries.

So yes, she could go to the wedding but she was covered in bruises? She hadn't even looked in the mirror. The steroids were probably going to make her face swell up and she knew she looked exhausted. And a splint on her wrist?

There is no way Lora would approve of having _that_ in the wedding photos. Not to mention, it would not go with her dress. Her dress which she failed to pick up. Yesterday felt so far away. Did Kasey think she just ghosted her? Avery hated the idea of letting her down.

And oh. Oh god. Beatrice. What happened to Bea? What if they had gone back for her? What if -

A hand on hers caused Avery's eyes to shoot open, gasping. "Bea. They said.. yesterday.. if I didn't.. Maxwell.. he said he would hurt Bea. We need to go check on her, please! Oh my god. What if.." Avery's rambling thoughts took off _out loud._

"Avery! Look at me, hey." Her eyes met Bucky's, who had moved back to sit at the edge of her bed. Gently, he took her left hand in his and brushed his thumb against it. "Sam went back to your place last night to do another security sweep, just in case. He said he ran into Bea in the hall and she's fine. She's safe. Nothing happened to her, okay?"

"I was supposed to meet Kasey yesterday, too. Does she know what happened?"

Steve shook his head. "We told her you came down with a 24 hour flu. I'm not sure she believed us, to be honest. But she picked up your dress so you don't have to worry about that."

Avery let out a long exhale.

Okay. Things were okay. Bea was okay.

Avery was okay.

Sure, she was laying in a hospital bed and her body was attempting to recover from some unknown substance wreaking havoc in her lungs and blood system, but she was alive. That had to count for something.

"What happened to Will? And Maxwell? And Harry?" She took a deep breath, eyes wide with worry once again. "There's a camera in my apartment! They have footage of me and us and.."

The boys exchanged a glance. Steve sighed. "We took care of the camera. As for Osborn and his friends.. we don't have to talk about that right now."

Avery did not like that answer. She didn't like their shared look or the tense energy that followed her question. She wanted to argue, she really did. She needed to know they were all in custody or locked away or maybe even laid up in a hospital somewhere, too. But her brain wouldn't connect the right words and her lack of energy won over.

Nancy returned with a tray of food. The boys kept relatively quiet as she picked at it, occasionally commenting or starting up a conversation that was completely irrelevant to the last 24 hours.

Dr. Cho came back in afterwards, reporting the concerning toxins flagged in her blood draw were reduced on the last round of testing. He said it was a great sign. He requested her back again next week for another draw but otherwise, monitoring her symptoms and checking in with him for the rest of the week would suffice.

He was certain Avery was going to make a full recovery physically.

Physically? Sure, maybe that was true. Mentally though? Avery wasn't so certain.

* * *

Avery went home in a new Stark Industries t-shirt and sweatpants that Steve had procured from somewhere, plus his jacket. She fell asleep in the back of the Jeep and only woke up again when Bucky was climbing the stairs of the apartment, with her cradled in his arms.

They headed directly to Bucky's while Steve went to pick up some things. Avery insisted she could walk once she was awake enough but Bucky ignored her.

"Walking up stairs isn't going to tire me out," she whined quietly, leaning her head into the crook of Bucky's neck. He let out a low laugh, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head.

"Bed or couch?"

Avery countered with a request to shower.

Bucky couldn't protest as she pouted up at him. Usually, he would think her pout was unreasonably dramatic and something she was doing to try and get her way. But her face looked genuinely sad and it broke his heart.

They had all been ignoring the big question. Sure, Avery was physically fine. But _was she okay?_

Considering how upset and torn up both Bucky and Steve were feeling about what had transpired, they knew her well enough that there was something going on in the depths of her mind. Fear, worry, confusion. Of course she needed some time to process but she had to know she didn't have to go it alone.

Bucky kicked off his shoes and carried Avery directly into his bathroom. He slipped her out of his arms and onto the counter, where he carefully removed Steve's jacket. It dropped to the floor, heavy.

Next, with both hands, he reached for her right wrist. Slowly, he undid the mechanism on the custom splint and freed her hand, brushing the cool fingers of his left hand against her skin. He leaned forward and met her hand halfway, letting his lips graze any tender spot with a kiss.

Avery took in a sharp breath as Bucky continued on, encouraging her to lift her arms so he could pull off her shirt. He paused to pull off his own and Avery was suddenly so very desperate to feel his skin against her own.

Yesterday. Yesterday had been so disjointed - Avery had been touched and manhandled and shoved and treated in a way she didn't deserve. Her sense of boundaries had been more than destroyed, with hands touching and fighting and breaking her down.

But now? It felt like Bucky was trying to undo all that. Every touch felt important and purposeful, like a desperate reminder that she was meant to be touched by him.

Bucky found her lips. Soft and worn, trembling. He quieted her with his touch, hands landing on her waist. He was delicate every step of the way, as if pushing even a bit too hard would cause her to break in his arms. A whine escaped her lips as he pulled away, because his sudden absence was chilling.

His lips turned into a barely visible smile, gently encouraging her out of her sweatpants. She whined again, the chill growing. Once he was undressed the same, Bucky lifted her into his arms once again and she clung to him, legs locked around his waist as her head rested on his shoulder.

His shower was full of hot, hot water and steam soon enough. He walked them in, leaning against the wall at the far end away from the water.

Bucky felt safe with Avery in his arms. Just feeling her steady breathing against his chest grounded him, anchored him. He was in control. She was safe in his arms, there was no doubt in his mind.

Slowly, Avery released her legs and let her feet find the wet tile floor. She didn't let go, though, not really. She carefully interlocked her hands behind him, at the small of his back.

He tried to encourage just a bit of space as they moved towards the water. They both needed to actually wash their hair, clean up. But as he reached for the lavender body wash, he could hear her sobbing into him.

Lost in the sounds of the shower head, he nearly missed it. But as he pushed her head away just enough to look down, her eyes were clamped shut and her chest was heaving.

"Avery, baby," Bucky cooed and pulled her back against his chest. "I've got you. You're okay."

Her head shook. _No, no, no. Not okay. Far from okay._

Their shower was long. Probably longer than it should have been. But Bucky couldn't rush her. Helping her wash her hair, her body, he felt a glow in his chest. But seeing the smattering of bruises on her skin, the large welt on her back, the shallow breaths, the weak movements of her wrist - he felt something more. Guilt, blame, remorse.

He thought back to the first version of Avery he could remember. The strong willed occupant of apartment 509, battling an incompetence in the kitchen and an overactive fire alarm. He remembered the shattered glass dish, the faded scar on her cheek.

He never wanted to let her hurt, to let her suffer in any way. But he was determined to do anything possible to help her heal.

When Steve walked into the apartment, he found them on the couch. Avery was wrapped up in a blanket, hair damp, leaning against Bucky. She was laughing about something happening in the movie playing ahead of them and that managed to put a fraction of relief in Steve's heart.

Just hearing Avery laugh managed to make him feel better.

"I was thinking maybe breakfast for dinner? Pancakes? Bacon? Hashbrowns?" Steve raised the bag of groceries as an offering to them both. Bucky agreed with the idea and Avery nodded, too.

"Do you need help?" She asked quietly, propping herself up for a moment to meet Steve's gaze.

"Nope. And you're on strict rules to rest, anyway. All we need you to do is.. that." Steve's tone was a touch demanding and on any normal day, it would irritate Avery. But given the circumstances, giving in was the best option.

"Fine." She returned to her position against Bucky and his arm tightened just slightly over her shoulders. Avery had a feeling both he and Steve were not going to let her out of their sight for the next few days. She was torn between an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the sense of security and an equally weighted guilt that she was taking up so much of their time.

She hated that her brain still let her wrestle with that feeling when she knew they loved her and would do anything for her. She wondered when the day would come when it would finally feel easier.

Steve whistled and sang as he worked on fixing dinner and while it was distracting from the movie Avery had picked, she enjoyed it immensely. Every moment of domesticity they shared made her feel more and more certain about their relationship. The apartment filled with the scent of sweet syrups and sizzling bacon, causing Avery's stomach to quietly lurch. Apparently her few bites of applesauce from her hospital tray at lunch hadn't sustained her very well.

When chef Steve announced their dinner feast was ready, Avery slowly got to her feet and shuffled over towards the round dining table. Before she sat, she waited for Steve to leave the large plate of pancakes on the table then she snaked her arms around her torso. He hugged her tightly - though with less force than he usually might. His hand cradled the back of her head and they remained there for what felt like an eternity.

To Steve, it was a touch unexpected. Even more unexpected were the tears that welled up in his eyes as he held her. In all the chaos of the day before, he was adamant he be the level headed one.

He had to keep Bucky from spiralling. He had to make a successful plan. He needed to conclude the mission. Waiting by Avery's bedside table all night had kept him still with worry. But now, as she pressed her warmth against him, he felt like his resolve was breaking.

Bucky must have noticed because he coughed quietly from his seat at the table, muttering about the food getting cold. Steve kissed the top of Avery's head and moved to pull out a chair for her, sucking in a sharp breath and keeping his tears at bay.

Avery noticed how they watched her eat and how Steve kept her water glass full (' _Nancy said those steroids will dehydrate you.'_ )

She was slow, though - quickly giving up on using her right wrist as it shook even in the splint. She single handedly used just one fork, ignoring Bucky's prying eyes from across the table. Just as she popped the last bite of her bacon strip into her mouth, she narrowed her eyes towards them. "So. When are you going to tell me?"

Bucky, who had just shoved half a pancake into his mouth, raised an eyebrow. "Tellyou'at?"

"Whatever it is you're keeping from me. About Will and Harry." She glanced between them both, leaning back in her chair. "I assume things didn't go how you intended or you would have been honest with me from the start."

Steve sighed. He pushed his jaw to the side briefly as he considered how to deliver the information. "Okay. That goon Maxwell is in police custody at the hospital, recovering from his gunshot wounds. He barely made it out of the building before it blew."

Avery was surprised by the thoughts that crowded her mind as she took in what Steve was saying. Part of her didn't care whether or not Max lived or died. His complicity in the events that shook her wasn't something she was going to ignore. But another part of her, a soft, quiet voice, knew the man shouldn't lose his life. She felt a confusing pang of guilt. "And Will?"

Bucky huffed. "He gave up immediately. Started to spill his guts and list out client names and business partners without even discussing a deal with the feds. I sorta feel bad for the guy, honestly."

"What's going to happen to him?" Avery felt bad for Will, too. She understood he got in over his head. Although, he did assist in her _"kidnapping"_ \- so maybe Will had some lessons to learn.

"It's hard to say," Steve answered with a frown. "At the most, a few years in a blue collar prison."

Avery didn't respond. Instead, she waited for the final shoe to drop. Osborn. Anxiously, she moved her fingers along the wooden edge of the table. She heard a heavy sigh from Bucky.

Steve sat up straight in his chair. "After a night in custody, three very expensive lawyers helped Harry Osborn get released on what is the equivalent of bail." When he met Avery's eyes, he found disappointment and anger. "It's kind of complicated, especially with state and federal laws. The one silver lining here is there are certain charges he can't fight at all."

"But he is fighting some of them?" Avery asked quietly. She knew it was complicated - considering Steve and the team had been tracking his operations for a long time. The weapons selling, the chemical weapon production - they were clearly illegal but the charges were more severe and layered.

Bucky nodded and Avery could have sworn her heard an angry growl escape, too. "Yes. He's feigning innocence. His legal entity isn't actually directly connected to the umbrella company and we've come to find out a judge we thought we would trust is married into the Osborn family."

Steve sighed once more. "It's just complicated. But the kidnapping, reckless endangerment, assault, arson - those charges he'd be stupid to fight. There will probably be a trial in the fall and you'll have to give a testimony and -

"What? No, no way." Avery sat stiff in the chair, though her head shook a few times. "I would like to never see him again."

"Sweetheart," Steve said softly, reaching a hand out to hold hers as he gripped the edge of the table. "We'll be there every step of the way."

Avery pulled her hand away and stood, continuing to shake her head. "Nope. There's got to be a way for him to rot in prison without my further involvement."

"Ave. That's not how this works." Steve pursed his lips together. "I know you're overwhelmed, but we need you to cooperate with us here."

Avery's face twisted into an angry frown. She turned swiftly and walked towards the door to the balcony, slipping outside and dropping onto one of the metal chairs.

Bucky sighed, turning his head to watch her through the glass door. "Maybe that wasn't the best time to.."

Steve scoffed, pushing his chair back and collecting dishes. "You think? We had to tell her at some point anyway." After unloading the plates into the sink, Steve's fist landed on the counter in frustration.

"Hey." Before Steve could even let his anger grow, Bucky was at his side. His hands gripped Steve's shoulders, keeping him at an arm's length. "Stop. Our anger isn't going to help her. The fact that Osborn has so many loopholes isn't something we could have anticipated, Stevie. You know that." Steve couldn't even grumble out his agreement before Bucky pulled him into a hug.

Meanwhile, outside on the balcony, Avery sat still as she looked out towards the pink night sky. The warm wind of August breezed through her, and she hugged one of her knees close to her chest. She was draped in just a t-shirt and a pair of shorts she would normally sleep in - light and spacious and soft. Leaning her head onto her kneecap, she grazed her fingers along the bandages on her knees and closed her eyes.

24 hours earlier she was strapped to that nightmare dental chair, staring through a window as Harry Osborn and Maxwell watched her hyperventilate and cry. It wasn't until that moment did she finally feel helpless. And now, even though she knew she was safe and protected from them - the helplessness surged through her.

Her body was weak. It was allowed to be, of course. She was recovering after all. But she didn't want _this._ Anxiety and nervousness and paranoia. She tried so hard to climb out of the hole left behind by _unvanishing_ but the feelings came back like an old friend. She kept trying to fight it, yet it sat heavy in her heart.

The moment she left the hospital, it felt like a brick wall was slowly building in front of her. She didn't want to burden Bucky and Steve with what she was wrestling with - considering how far they had come in their relationship so far, what if this was too much?

She supposed she could try and get an appointment with her therapist. That could help.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice spoke loud and clear. _Just tell them how you're feeling. Don't build the wall._

Avery opened one eye and peeked over as she heard someone else step onto the balcony. She was relieved they hadn't opted to come in as a team this time. Steve didn't say anything as he dropped into the chair opposite her, stretching out his legs and gazing towards the skyline ahead.

Avery just watched him, taking her time to soak in the details of his face in the honey coloured light from the disappearing sun. How tired he looked wasn't lost on her and while she had a plethora of images tucked away in her mind of Steve over the ages - from history books and news articles and even his biography - the man sitting beside her was showing his age. Tiny creases had formed by the peaks of his eyes and his skin wasn't quite as smooth and perfect as it once may have been. His beard wasn't as thick as it was months ago but was growing back in with peppered white hairs within the strawberry blonde.

For some reason, it was a stark reminder that Steve was human. Super serum or not, he was a normal person with worries and fears and feelings and anger. And more than anything, he loved fiercely and despite not carrying the physical shield anymore, he still protected the people who needed it.

And Avery needed it. Whether she wanted to come to terms with that or not.

"Never in a million years would we have wanted this to happen to you, Avery." Steve kept his gaze forward as he started.

"I know." She didn't speak very loud but she knew he could hear her. It took her a few beats to find the words. "Even before I started dating Bucky, I had already gotten involved with the entire thing. Without even realizing it. The fact that you were investigating the Osborns already.. I don't know. I'm collateral damage, I guess. I just wanted to help." She sucked in a hard breath and released it slowly.

"You did help. But the problem and blame lies with me and Buck - you should not have been involved at all. He was hesitant and, well, we should have trusted our gut instinct instead. Then you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"Stevie," Avery squeaked out his name, planting her feet on the ground and turning to look at him. "Unless you want to bubble wrap me and keep me sequestered away, I'm going to get hurt."

"Bucky already suggested that, actually. A helmet, too," Steve replied with a half smirk, turning to face her the same.

"You two are ridiculous," Avery sighed.

For a fraction of a second, she thought about how Bucky and Steve would be as fathers. Fiercely protective, gentle, loving. It made her heart beat even faster, spiralling into deeper thoughts of domesticity. She shook the thoughts and reached her left hand out towards Steve.

"I still want to help. I realize I sort of freaked out but.. I'll help. If that means.. having to testify against Harry and Max and even Will, I can do that. I don't want to but.."

"I don't want you to either, sweetheart. There is a good chance you won't have to do that but we don't know just yet." Steve clutched onto her hand, brushing his thumb across the soft skin. "And I'm sorry we didn't tell you about this all earlier. Your well being is much more important than putting those three in prison."

She took a deep breath. "I know why you didn't. It's okay. I'm just.."

_I'm having a hard time._

_I'm struggling._

_I'm not sure why my brain is such a mess._

_I really miss my mom. I can't remember the sound of her voice._

_Don't build the wall._

_I'm just scared._

Avery closed her eyes. "I'm just scared. There. I said it." It somehow felt like losing a battle with herself but she knew if she didn't say it, the brick wall would keep assembling. Her voice shook. "I don't know what else to say right now. I'm scared and I don't like it."

"Hey, c'mere." Steve reached for her as she stood and he pulled her onto his lap, enveloping her into his arms.

"I'm not going to break," she whispered out, an honest commentary on Steve's gentle hold. He chuckled, quiet and deep in his chest, letting her adjust to straddle him and his arms tightened.

Avery's whole body relaxed against him, arms draped over his shoulders and head resting against his chest. He soothed her with comforting mantras, thanking her for her honesty. His hands moved circles on her back, careful to avoid excess pressure.

Steve wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. Long enough for Avery's breathing to steady and her heart rate to settle. He knew this was still just the beginning - that facing those residual fears haunting her mind would come with time. But for now, he was happy to just hold her.

"Okay out here?" Bucky's voice and footsteps brought Steve and Avery back to reality. Avery turned her head towards him, though she kept it pressed against Steve's chest.

"We're okay," she replied confidently. Steve kissed her forehead.

"How do we feel about popcorn and a movie? What's that one you keep mentioning, doll? Clue?"

Avery's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly. Steve laughed and held her securely on his lap so she wouldn't fall backwards. "Yes. Please. You either love or hate Clue. But for my sake, you two better love it."

* * *

With the air conditioning humming, all three of them piled onto Bucky's couch, overlapping limbs and blankets. They both laughed hard and loud at the movie, with Steve commenting it reminded him of the old comedies from the 40s.

Steve was reaching for his coat afterward when Avery stopped him. "Stay. Please. I know it's tight in Bucky's bed but.. stay. I want you both close."

It felt like a selfish request. But both Bucky and Steve seemed perfectly content with the idea, though knew there may be regrets come morning. By the time they were all in bed, limbs overlapping again, Avery felt secure. Though, sleep seemed far away.

Despite her heavy eyelids, her brain seemed to be on high alert. The room was dark. Avery was lying flat on her back. To her right, Bucky was on his stomach, arm extended over her waist. Steve was on her other side, rolled onto his side to face her. He rested his hand on Bucky's arm.

Avery listened as sleep washed over them. She laid still, tense. The air conditioner hummed.

Though she closed her eyes and did her best to escape to sleep. It found her eventually, but so did a few haunting dreams.

* * *

Bucky and Steve both woke up before Avery. Which didn't surprise either of them, considering she woke up at least four times throughout the night. She swapped out who she snuggled against, ensuring them both she was fine. But they were no strangers to PTSD.

"Wish she'd just tell us about what happened," Bucky murmured as he leaned against one of the kitchen counters. He was fully dressed, waiting for a message from Sam who was coming to pick him up. They were going uptown out to the compound to meet with some of Sharon's CIA contacts about tracking the remaining sleytium weapons.

Steve was going to spend the morning with Avery. They had arranged for Kasey to come by and spend the afternoon with her cousin while Steve met with Everett Ross about next steps. Neither of them wanted to leave her alone but they were on a tight timeline, especially if they still planned on taking the weekend off for the wedding in Boston.

"I'm sure she will eventually," Steve responded, stretching out his arms before crossing them on his chest. "I'll see if I can coax anything out of her this morning."

Bucky pressed a kiss against Steve then headed downstairs to meet Sam.

Steve poured a fresh mug of coffee and returned to the bedroom, sliding back into the bed and leaning against the headboard. Avery stirred and adjusted her position, curling up against him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"G'morning," she mumbled out, resting her head against his chest. "Where's Buck?"

"He and Sam have some work to take care of," Steve said, placing his coffee down on the side table. "We'll be home in shifts today."

"I can rest alone if you need to go to the office." Avery tipped her head up to catch Steve smiling, shaking his head.

"Trust me, I'd rather be right here than at the office."

They stayed there for a little while longer, Avery dozing on and off against him. Steve finally encouraged her to leave the bed, pouring her a cup of coffee before they headed down to her apartment. The change of scenery was welcome to Avery and it felt like she had been neglecting her plant children long enough.

When they walked in, Avery paused as she took in the space. The first thing that stood out to her was the huge fracture in the wooden top of her kitchen island. A dry laugh escaped her. "I guess I'm not getting any security deposit back."

Steve gave her a reluctant smile, shaking away the recent memories of their return to her apartment. "We can get that replaced. Bucky, uh.." He shook his head. "An unsurprising reaction when we didn't know where you were."

Avery swallowed hard, reaching to squeeze his head. She understood. Try as she might to work through her own emotional reactions to that day, she hadn't even paused to think about what Steve and Bucky had gone through. It was too much to process still.

Steve's eyebrows narrowed as he scanned her face. "We can talk about it, if you want."

Avery let go of his hand and just moved further into the apartment, avoiding looking back at him. She hoped that would be enough to keep him from prodding. She didn't even know what to say yet. She still hadn't figured out how to let it surface.

Steve accepted her silence, assuming this wasn't the right time to push. He watched her disappear into her bedroom then he started to tidy the space, putting away some leftover dishes in the rack and organizing what had been left behind on her destroyed island.

Avery emerged from her room in a pair of light black cotton joggers and a white tank top she had knotted at the side. In her hands were two small plants. She was muttering about moisture levels and soil quality, moving towards her sink to tend to them.

They spent most of the morning quietly. Steve helped her continue to clean and freshen up the place, opening windows and wiping down dusty spots on her shelves and tables. Avery rotated her plants, taking notes in her lined book as she went along. Eventually she paused, to survey her space.

"I guess I have to start thinking about how all my life is going to fit upstairs in Bucky's apartment," she said, shuffling her foot along the rug in her living room. "Stevie. If I'm being honest, I'm a bit sad you won't be living with us, too."

Steve looked over at her from his spot on the couch. He had been doodling some scratchy pen drawings in her plant notebook in between her note taking. "We'll still see a lot of each other, sweetheart." There was a soft distant sound to his voice. "I want to start looking for houses in the spring, though. So this time next year, maybe we'll be arguing over furniture in the townhouse instead."

Avery couldn't deny how intimidating this image of their life one year into the future looked like. Hell, she still wasn't even fully understanding of why Bucky would want to live with her. Moving in together was a bigger step and even though it seemed like a lot, she couldn't deny how much it made sense. And how it felt like the timing was okay and that everything would probably just fall into place and settle and her mind would calm down about all the doubts and question marks.

"What neighbourhood were you thinking?" That was the only question Avery could bear to ask. It would give her an idea of price range and - fuck, she hadn't even thought about finances. Now that she wasn't working at Simonarc anymore, she wasn't sure how she would cover her part of the rent at Bucky's. And if Steve wanted to buy a townhouse, he likely needed to get a mortgage and if they lived there, was she supposed to contribute to that too?

Of course, that's how these things worked. Suddenly, this shiny new idea of living with the two people she loved evolved and grew into a frightening mountain of what ifs and uncertainties and -

"Maybe Carroll Gardens or Williamsburg," Steve replied with a shrug, studying her face for a reaction.

Avery's eyes went wide for just a moment before she dropped down onto the couch beside him, tucking her knees underneath. "I mean this in the least offensive way possible, but you know houses in Brooklyn are a lot more expensive now than they were 80 years ago?"

Steve rolled his eyes, letting out a breathy laugh. "I'm aware." He paused. "My life changed a lot over the years. My wants, desires, needs all shifted. But I want a home in Brooklyn. A permanent home with someone to come home to. Well, two someones."

"Tell me more about this home, Stevie," Avery responded, raising an eyebrow. "Paint me a picture."

It was clear this was something Steve thought about a lot. He had a laundry list of wants in his Patriotic Dream House and it settled a lot of Avery's apprehensive feelings. He was describing a lot of things she wanted, too. They vaulted their crazy ideas back and forward, from preferred number of bedrooms and pets to bay windows and clawfoot tubs.

It was a nice beautiful distraction. Frankly, getting lost in the discussion made Avery forget about why she was even home with Steve. It kept her fears and recent memories far away from her lips. Around noon, Kasey showed up at her door with a large paper bag filled with pressed sandwiches and pasta salad and desserts from a deli uptown. It didn't take long for Avery to clue in that Kasey was her next babysitter.

Avery caught the exchange of glances between Kasey and Steve right before he left, too. A cautionary look, as if to say he was available if needed. He cradled Avery's head for a moment as they stood at the door, then pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He'd be back after dinner sometime, if not sooner.

"So, 24 hour flu, huh." Kasey took Steve's spot on the couch, tearing into a slice of cheesecake instead of starting with a sandwich or the salad. She raised an eyebrow towards Avery, who grabbed a sandwich to nibble on. Avery sat cross legged on the rug, using her coffee table to hold her lunch.

"Kasey," Avery was slow to respond. She let out a long exhale. "What did Sam tell you?"

"He said something about Steve and Bucky and a long night at the hospital," Kasey replied, gripping her fork. "Listen, Ave. You don't have to tell me what happened. I know there is some top secret shit that happens behind the scenes. But are you okay?" Her face softened. "Like, are _you okay?"_

Avery hesitated, taking another bite of sandwich to fill her mouth with something instead of a rambling of honesty. "I will be." That was the truth. Or Avery hoped it was, at least. "I just.. I can't deal with it all right now. Not with the wedding coming up and.."

Kasey nodded. "You know you can't just rely on _future Avery_ to handle all your issues. That's going to suffocate you if you're not careful. I just think you're finally getting back to a good place after last year and.. I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself." She tapped on the side of her head. "Including that messy brain of yours."

"I'm trying," Avery replied with certainty. "Just not this week." Thankfully Kasey let it go. Avery divulged the news about moving into Bucky's apartment and that kept Kasey thoroughly distracted from asking anymore questions. When they had finished their lunch, they decided to go back up to Bucky's to scope out how Avery could blend her things in.

Avery decided it was as good a time as ever to maybe move some of her plants upstairs, too. She instructed Kasey to grab some from her bedroom window sill while Avery went for the big boy: Frank. He was a beast on his own, with a large ceramic planter and plenty of added weight in his height. She hesitated before grabbing him, realizing that maybe this was something Steve or Bucky could move instead, considering she usually only pushed Frank around the bright sunlight in her living room. And with her weak right wrist, it was a recipe for disaster.

But something compelled her to try. For some reason, with enough courage, she squatted and grabbed him, preemptively wincing because of her wrist. She lifted the plant with a surprising amount of ease, though. If Kasey hadn't been going on and on about Brooklyn townhouses, Avery might have had some curious thoughts about her surprise bout of strength.

Instead, Frank climbed up the flights of stairs in her arms and found his new home on Bucky's balcony.

* * *

Bucky and Sam showed up at the apartment around dinner time. With dinner, thankfully. Though Avery still felt a bit off, her appetite seemed to have returned and she was happy to indulge in some of her favourite Indian dishes with Bucky, Sam and Kasey.

Sam had even shown up with a beautiful orchid for Avery, a 'Feel Better Soon' gift. She was elated and hugged him more than once, whispering a very sincere thank you in his ear. Not only for the plant, but for helping rescue her, too. He just returned a cheeky, charming Sam grin in dismissal of her words.

After confirming their end of the week travel plans for the wedding, Kasey left with Sam then Bucky wrapped himself around Avery. He checked in, taking a long scan of her as he made sure she was feeling okay. More than once, he asked if she wanted to talk.

She didn't know how to talk. She didn't know what to say. But as Bucky displayed his concern and protectiveness over her, she suddenly craved intimacy with him. Cuddling, hugging, anything. She wanted his touch. As if he was reading her mind, he offered a back massage.

She happily accepted, slowly lowering herself onto his bed and tearing off her shirt and bra. Bucky kneeled at her side, retrieving a floral scented oil from his side table and moving his hands over her. It certainly satisfied her craving. Or, it was at least a taste of the satisfaction.

There was a loud, echo in her brain that wanted more. She needed more. Something was telling her if she couldn't talk about her real feelings, she needed to feel something else instead.

_She wanted to feel._

"Buck," Avery whined quietly as his hands rolled over her shoulders. "I want you."

Bucky took in a sharp breath, fighting with the rising heat in his chest and the beginning of a tight feeling in his pants. "The doctor said no physical activity, doll." He swallowed hard, leaning back on his heels and removing his hands from her.

"But.. I just. My brain is a mess and I want to let go. Please. We already checked my oxygen levels today and they're basically back to normal."

Bucky hesitated. He was wrestling with the opportunity ahead of him. On the one hand, no. Sex was off the table until her body was closer to being healed. But on the other hand, he had a hard time denying the chase of those good feelings. Especially if it was going to make _Avery_ feel better.

She wriggled awkwardly beside him, managing to flip over. "Please, Bucky. I just want to let go." She repeated her statement and met his longing gaze. If she was letting go, he was taking control. At least that's what she wanted.

Bucky could read her signals pretty well. He wanted to help her feel better. She had proved to both him and Steve that she was _feeling better_ already. There was more energy in her step and she wasn't struggling through a brain fog anymore. Aside from the physical issues, like her wrist and the bruises decorating her body, she looked okay. Her breathing was much better.

And Bucky did love making her feel good and watching her really come undone.

There was a finality to his thoughts and he reached down to her waist, squeezing for her attention. "Okay. But if I see you hesitate or hurt beyond anything normal, I'm calling it. And if it gets to be too much, you have to tell me. Okay?"

Avery nodded as the smile grew on her face. "Yes, sir." The added _sir_ was a joke but she watched Bucky still then slowly smirk. He didn't have to go hard. He could practice his restraint. In fact, this was a great opportunity for that.

Bucky swiped his tongue across his lips and patted her hips, asking her to get on her knees. She did as he said, without a comment or snark, then waited patiently in front of him. He mirrored her pose, knees sinking into the bed as he leaned in and cradled her cheek with his right hand.

To Avery, his touch was a sudden spark. She wished suddenly that Steve was with them too and she could be indulging in them both. But she figured she needed to pace herself and she was already pushing her luck with Bucky. His thumb brushed her jaw line and grew to a grip, bringing his lips to her own. She whimpered, melting into the feelings he was igniting in her.

As his mouth wandered, his right hand moved towards her neck then to the back of her head, tugging gently as he grabbed her hair. Avery tried to just indulge in the feeling but she could tell he was restraining himself. His lips brushed against her jaw and her earlobe and her neck, nipping along the way and taking pause to suck along her shoulder, too.

"My dress.." Avery's breath hitched as Bucky's left hand found one of her breasts. "..exposes a lot of my shoulders and chest so.." She gasped as his teeth met her skin again. "No new bruises."

Bucky growled an agreement, pulling away for a moment before returning to her lips. Avery moved her hands across his chest, bunching up his t-shirt and reaching for the waistline of his jeans. He moved a hand to stop her. "No. If I'm in charge, we go at my pace, doll."

She huffed in annoyance, closing her eyes as she pulled away. She heard Bucky chuckle and his hands were on her waist, pushing her onto her back underneath him.

"No pouting," Bucky whispered, leaning down to hover just above her, sending his tongue out across her lips and then colliding once more.

Avery was doing just fine. Great. Fantastic, even. Although, it didn't last long. She was somewhere between floating and falling, and when Bucky reached for her wrists, pinning them above her with one of his large palms, she was pushed over the edge.

Bucky didn't catch her increased, shallow breaths or the grimace on her face as he moved his lips down her body. When his right hand moved to her chest, flat on her sternum and moving up to hold onto the base of her neck, she panicked.

She really panicked.

Everything Bucky was doing sent her mind spiraling. She shouldn't have pushed this - it was suddenly too much, too soon and she couldn't stop the panic attack that swept over her. His grip on her neck, while delicate and something that happened often when they had sex, set off a red flashing alarm.

" _No, no. Please. Just.. I'll be quiet." Avery fought hard against Maxwell as he dragged her towards the observation room. "Harry! Harry, please."_

_Though she tried to plead, Harry didn't even turn back towards them, turning his attention to something on his phone instead._

" _You're only making this harder on yourself," Maxwell grunted, throwing her into the room as the door sealed shut behind them. "Sit."_

_Avery hesitated, glancing from what looked like a modified dental chair back towards Maxwell once more. She shook her head._

" _No."_

_He lunged towards her, pushing her up against the back wall and pressing his hand to her neck. "When this all comes to a head, you know it doesn't matter to Osborn whether you live or die."_

_The pressure on Avery's throat grew as he pressed his palm further against her skin. She knew she was choking and losing oxygen. "Please."_

_She fell to the ground once he let go and he grunted towards the chair again. With shaking knees she complied, eyes glued to the ground._

_The chair was annoyingly comfortable. Not that Avery would trust herself to relax. Maxwell pulled straps over her ankles and wrapped them around her wrists as well. She was just waiting for him to finally leave her alone. Once her wrists were secure, a voice came over the speakers._

" _Max, may as well get some sensors on her too. Just in case."_

_Maxwell turned and gave a thumbs up to Harry. When he looked at Avery again, he sneered. "Shoulda taken your shirt off already. Hmm."_

_Avery writhed on the chair and tried to stop his hands from crawling over her but it was no use. Again, his hand landed on her neck to still her movements. He tore open her shirt and when she saw him lick his lips, Avery started to sob and plead again._

_In an instant, her hopeful facade started to disappear. As Maxwell finally walked away, after spending a little too much time sticking sensors across her chest, she lost it. She wasn't sure if it was her anxiety or nerves or fear or a combination of everything. But it washed over her in the form of a panic attack._

_It felt like she was going to spend the rest of her life catching her breath._

Her body started to shake underneath Bucky. She needed to stop. This needed to stop.

"Bucky."

Was she loud enough? Was she even speaking? Avery's head shook back and forth on her pillow. She tried to pull her hands out of his grip above her head.

He clued into her discomfort quickly, flicking his eyes up towards her. His stomach dropped when he saw the fear in her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks. He released her hands and moved his hand away from her neck, hovering just above. "Avery, are you okay? Did I -

Her hands came up and pushed him away, as hard as she could. It took Bucky by surprise and if Avery had been in a more rational state of mind, she may have absorbed what had happened. But her singular push sent Bucky far away from her, nearly sending him off the edge of the bed.

Just as she started to move off the bed, eyes wide and trying to plan her exit, Bucky moved to stand and reached for her, eyes wide with concern. "Avery, baby. I think this is a panic attack and -

"Don't touch me, please." She was crying now, holding her hands up in a defensive position "I need.. please." Her chest was moving up and down, breathing growing more and more shallow. "I'm going to.."

_You're not going to die. You're not going to die._

_You might._

_You might die._

Her head shook back and forth. She could feel her knees buckling, too. Bucky took a step to the side, leaving a clear path towards the bedroom door. She rushed out, glanced around, then headed straight towards the bedroom. Bucky followed, trying to coax something out of her. Anything.

"Avery, listen to me. You're going to be okay. I need you to breathe." He stopped her from closing the bathroom door, shoving his foot in the way. He pressed it open again, finding her clutching the bathroom counter and staring at the sink. Her entire body was shaking as she sobbed.

Though he desperately wanted to hold her, he kept his distance. Reaching into his pocket, he sent out a quick SOS message to Steve. Then he turned his attention back to Avery. He watched as she fumbled over the splint on her wrist, releasing the mechanism as it fell to the floor.

Avery ran her hands over her arms, cold and hot and itchy and numb at the same time. She stretched her fingers out, returning to grip the sink to steady her body. She could hear Bucky talking to her from the doorway. It sounded so far away but she closed her eyes to try and focus on his voice.

"Avery baby, you've got to take some deep breaths, okay? We'll do it together." Bucky counted out a series of inhales and exhales, praising each step she completed. They did that for a few minutes and he noticed she stood slightly taller in front of the sink.

Baby steps.

"Okay. Tell me three things you can feel right now. What are you touching?"

"The counter.. uhm, sweatpants. The bathmat."

Bucky smiled slightly as her feet brushed against the small carpet on the floor. "And what can you hear?"

She swallowed hard. Eyes closed. "Uhm, the fridge. I think. Whatever that humming is. I can hear your voice. The plates in your arm."

Bucky released the metal fist he didn't realize he was holding. He took a few steps into the room and stood behind her, still far enough away to not be touching her. Avery looked into the mirror and met his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She shook her head and looked away once more.

"Avery," Bucky hesitantly reached his right hand out to touch her back. She flinched when he did and he pulled away. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I just don't know what to say.." She drew in a sharp breath. "Fuck. It was only one day. It was just one stupid day but it's still right _there."_ She turned slowly and sunk down to the floor, leaning her head back against the bathroom vanity. She pulled her legs towards her chest, chin resting on her knees.

"Doll," Bucky started slowly, matching her position on the opposite wall. He was distant enough to not crowd her but his legs brushed against her. "What happened to you.. it's not something you just _get over._ Especially after two days. No one is expecting you to just carry on like it didn't happen."

She scoffed. "It's just.. compared to what happened to you for decades, what happened _to me_ is laughable."

"Avery." Bucky's voice was stern. Soft, still. But purposeful. "We don't compare trauma. That's not how this works." He took a deep breath. "The first time I was captured - during the war - I didn't just bounce back from it." That was the long and short of it. Luckily, in the future scrambling of his mind, Bucky didn't remember all of those torturous months. But he did remember the after shock of it all. "Back then, we didn't talk much about how to take care of our minds or mental health or anything like that. I had nightmares, sleepless nights, panic attacks. It takes time, Avery. And it's different for everyone. It doesn't matter if you're recovering from one day or four months or seventy years."

Bucky's raw honesty was difficult for Avery to absorb. On the most extreme irrational train of thought her brain was sending in circles, it was just a joke. She was a joke. Some stupid guy roughed her up, strapped her to a chair and now she can't even be touched by her boyfriends? What a fucking mess. She was a mess.

_We don't compare trauma._

She stopped herself from laughing at that one. How could Bucky even be taking her seriously right now? The reel of memories kept winding through her mind. It was just one day. She was a joke.

"Avery baby." Bucky cut through the noise. "That voice in your head is wrong. I know you don't think that right now but trust me, please. It took me a long time to understand that. _A long time_. What you're experiencing right now - this is a traumatic response and it is going to say confusing, illogical things to you." His tone was surprisingly clinical and level. "Listen to me, Avery. Please. It's okay to feel kind of broken. You are allowed to feel this way and you are allowed to heal from it, too."

She wondered if these phrases were things Steve said to Bucky when he needed to hear it, too.

Avery knew Bucky was still in recovery - he would never _fully heal_ from the damage in his brain or the leftover trauma. But she saw how hard he worked to try and move forward. She supposed that's what she needed to do, too. At whatever pace would work for her.

Silence filled the bathroom.

Avery sighed. "I'd like to just.. sit in here. Is that okay?"

Bucky nodded, though she wasn't looking at him. "Sure. Can I stay with you?" She appreciated his calm words and _how he offered_ and let her make the decisions, instead of forcing his presence.

"Yes. Please." She tipped her head over slightly and met his eyes. "Thank you."

"One second." Bucky slowly got to his feet and left the room, returning a few moments later with one of his sweatshirts and a blanket. He offered them to her and she happily accepted, tugging on the oversized sweatshirt and wrapping her arms around her knees once more. He adjusted the blanket around her feet. She requested the lights off, too and Bucky complied.

Less sensory overload seemed to calm Avery down. In the darkness and relative silence, covered in a protective layer of comfortable fabrics, her breathing seemed to steady.

Bucky took a moment to text and update Steve, who was on his way over. Otherwise, he stayed in his position across from her. Eventually, he reached his right hand out and found her leg. He was slow to approach but placed his hand against her skin, drawing small circles against her calf with his thumb.

She didn't flinch, at least.

Neither Bucky or Avery moved when they heard the apartment door open and Steve's voice calling for them. His footsteps grew closer and closer, until he was standing in the hallway outside the bathroom door. He met Bucky's gaze in the half darkness. Steve just nodded and joined them on the floor, though he stayed just outside the threshold of the door.

Steve was okay with comfortable silence. He had to be, considering he had chosen Bucky as one of his life partners. But, as time crawled on, he tried to ease the heaviness in the air.

"Did Ave tell you about the plans for our future townhouse?" Steve kept his voice at a fairly low volume, glancing towards Avery to see if she would react. She kept her head tucked in and her legs held close.

Bucky shook his head, hand remaining on Avery's leg. "She didn't. I can only guess you both had some outlandish ideas."

"Full three story with a basement apartment. Fireplace. Three bedrooms. Small backyard for Roscoe." Steve paused, looking at Avery again. "Roscoe is our hypothetical future dog, by the way. Gas range. Claw foot tub. Baby grand piano, if we're lucky."

Bucky started to ask questions when they finally heard Avery speak up.

"Four bedrooms." Her voice was quiet. "If you count the loft."

"If the attic loft will fit a California king bed, right," Steve finished with a smirk.

"And the basement apartment is for Bea," Avery continued on, finally lifting her head up enough to gaze out at Steve in the hall. The daylight coming in from the rest of the apartment let his smile shine through.

Bucky was smiling, too. "Okay. Well, if Roscoe is the name of our hypothetical future dog - what about our cat?"

"I really thought we were more of a dog family," Steve replied.

"If Buck wants a cat, we'll get a cat, too. The one rule is that we only take in rescues or strays." Avery reached down and grabbed onto Bucky's hand. "Because even the broken ones need love."

Bucky squeezed her hand and hummed in agreement.

* * *

Much later that night, Avery, Bucky and Steve were in Manhattan. Avery had a large cup of ice cream in her lap, sandwiched between her boyfriends as they sat on the rooftop terrace of Steve's building.

Bucky rested his milkshake cup on his knee, cursing about the light pollution as they gazed up towards the sky.

Avery twirled her the long spoon inside her half empty cup of rocky road. She tried to defend her property as Steve reached over and stole a particularly rich looking bite, having long ago finished his own cone. A quiet giggle escaped her.

"I liked how the stars were at the lakehouse," Steve said softly, tilting his head upwards after swallowing his stolen bite. He closed his eyes, as if he could picture it above him now.

Avery's lips turned up into a small smile. "I went there.. in my head. To the lakehouse. When I was waiting for you two to save me." She closed her eyes as well, tensing her shoulders. "There was never a doubt in my mind, not even for a second, that you wouldn't rescue me. But while I waited, I thought about that weekend in July and how light and warm everything felt. It helped me."

Bucky's arm found its way across the back of her shoulders. Steve's hand landed on her knee. It felt like a gesture of appreciation - gratitude that she shared something so honest with them. For a brief second, Avery considered just explaining _everything._ Every moment of fear. Every violating touch. Every unrelenting thought and vision leftover in her mind.

She couldn't though, not yet. Although they didn't say it out loud this time, Avery knew that when she was ready, they would be right there to listen to her. For the time being, as her mind settled, that was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter didn't go exactly as I had planned but here we are! My lil Avery bean just needs some time to heal - and with these two overbearing boyfriends, she'll get there eventually. Now, the long term effects of that mysterious inhalant - we shall see what happens ;)
> 
> Thank youuuuuuuuuu so much for every view and subscription and bookmark and comment. Thanks for being here, folks! Just a few more chapters until we wrap up this story and I can't explain enough how much your support and feedback means to me. 
> 
> I may get another chapter in before the new year but I can't be certain. So I'd like to wish you all a wonderful holiday - whatever you celebrate, may it be warm and bright and full of great good and good company. If you're in the holiday mood, I posted a little companion piece to this story called 'Evergreen' - which is a series of standalone scenes about Avery, Bucky and Steve celebrating their first Christmas together. :)
> 
> Coming up next, finally: the wedding in Boston - where everyone comes together once again, including Avery's old best friend and her exboyfriend. But don't worry, weddings are romantic as hell and there will be dancing and warmth and some peace of mind.


	28. Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: feelings.
> 
> Note: for a frame of reference, the faceclaim I consider for Seth is Chace Crawford.

"Hello! This is Avery's phone!"

A series of giggles sounded out in the hotel room as Kasey accepted a video call from Bucky and Steve.

Avery was sprawled out on one of the beds, flat on her back and staring at the ceiling. She was already donning a pair of plaid pajama shorts and a big tshirt, hair damp on the blankets.

After a relaxing Thursday morning, she and Kasey had driven up to Boston that evening. They had a full spa day booked for Friday morning and decided heading up Thursday evening was still the best choice.

As members of the wedding party, Friday afternoon they were obligated to help with some set up in the ballroom (aka they were to take orders from Lora all day) then there was the ceremony rehearsal followed by dinner. Steve, Bucky and Sam would be joining them by then and Avery was already looking forward to it. She immediately felt anxious leaving Bucky and Steve after they had spent so much of their time together that week. She was feeling a lot better, both physically and mentally, but she missed them. After her panic attack and episode on Wednesday night, she had made more of an effort to vocalize her feelings. Even if it felt juvenile and embarrassing, she felt it was better to just leave everything on the table instead of bottling it up.

It was helping, though.

Clearly Steve and Bucky missed her, too. And were likely feeling equally as nervous sending her off after such a rollercoaster of a week. Despite texting throughout the day, the video call didn't come as a surprise.

It was just before midnight and all the girls had done that evening after checking in to the Hotel Commonwealth was share a pitcher of sangria and appetizers at a patio down the street. Now, back at the hotel, Kasey had convinced Avery that the best way to squash her anxiety was with something _natural and medicinal._ Kasey had given her a relatively small dose of the THC laden gummies but it hit Avery pretty hard.

" _Hey Kasey. How's your night going?"_

Avery sat up on the bed as she heard Steve's voice through the phone. "Don't tell them I'm high!"

Kasey laughed, eyes wide as she glanced away from the phone back towards her cousin. "They can hear you, dummy."

Avery narrowed her eyes and sighed. "Oh. Right."

Kasey spun slightly and sat beside Avery, handing the phone over. As they adjusted, so did Steve and Bucky - the latter took over the frame.

" _Ave. C'mon. After this week, you should not be smoking. That's really -_

" _Buck, take it easy."_

"We didn't smoke!" Kasey defended, rolling her eyes. "It's the 21st century, grandpas. I haven't bought _weed_ since college."

"Kasey gave me one lemon flavoured gummy bear." Avery fell back onto the bed again, taking her phone with her.

"In Avery's defense, I usually only take CBD but I bought the wrong ones. She'll sleep well, at least!" Kasey shrugged and stood, taking a few steps towards the balcony door. "I'll leave you to chat. But no phone sex while I'm in the next room!"

" _Doll, you sure you're okay?"_

Avery was holding her phone far above her head, staring up towards the screen. Seeing both Bucky and Steve squished together made her grin. "I'm fine! Really. Just sort of feels like I'm floating on a cloud, _Bucky baby._ "

She could hear Steve laughing.

"I miss you both. Isn't that silly?" Avery closed her eyes. "I saw you.. like twelve hours ago but I miss you."

" _Bucky just said the same thing. He also said it'll be nice to sleep without you stealing the blankets."_

" _Hey!"_

Avery giggled as she watched the two start to play fight on Steve's couch. She did her best to focus and ask them about how their day had gone. When she left, they had been heading out to some meetings at the Manhattan office. She knew they were choosing to keep some details out of their day, especially when it came to Harry Osborn, but they seemed to be in a more promising mood about everything.

" _You okay?"_

Avery had suddenly gone rather quiet as she stared into her phone, a dopey smile drawing across her face. "I just.. I love you both. I just don't know what else to say. I love a pair of hundred year old men. I wish I could go back and tell Avery from one year ago that she was going to be okay. God, she was a mess." She choked out a laugh, closing her eyes tightly. "Thank God you didn't meet her then. You would not have given her a second look."

" _I doubt that, doll. If our paths had crossed in the apartment sooner, I have no doubt you would have been just as frustrating as the first day I met you."_

Avery pouted, rolling over on the bed and propping her phone up against the pillows ahead of her. "That's mean. True, sure. But mean."

" _I think when Bucky says frustrating he means captivating, Ave."_

" _No, I meant frustrating. And stubborn. If I didn't intervene, her fire alarm would still be going off probably."_

"Wow. I can't believe I only have one boyfriend now." Avery shook her head. "Steve, if you forget Bucky at a gas station tomorrow, we'll survive."

" _Who's the mean one now, doll."_

* * *

"So, are you just not going to talk to me for the whole weekend or what?"

Steve raised an eyebrow at Bucky's smart comment but kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. Sam stifled a laugh from the passenger seat, adjusting his sunglasses and tapping his fingers against the door. They were only about half an hour into the drive to Boston.

"I'm allowed to be mad. What you did was incredibly stupid, Buck." Steve sighed, shoulders shifting from tense to relaxed as he shook his head. "I know _why_ you did it - I am just as angry as you are about what he did to Avery. But breaking Harry Osborn's nose during a round of questioning is grounds for throwing us off this case entirely."

Bucky huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned into the backseat of the Jeep. "He deserves to be in pain."

"Buck."

"I could have easily killed the guy and I didn't. I showed restraint, Stevie."

That got Sam laughing.

"And you," Steve continued and turned his head to look at Sam briefly. "You let it happen."

"Hey." Sam raised his hands to declare his innocence. "I know better than to argue with the metal armed maniac." He let out a long breath. "Honestly, it was very satisfying to watch Osborn cry."

Steve sighed once more, drumming his hands over the steering wheel. He was trying very hard to retain his stance as the _leader_ \- even if he was sort of proud that Bucky had slammed Osborn's head into the table after their questioning that morning. They were surprised to wake up to a phone call from Ross explaining that Harry Osborn had showed up with his lawyers to talk. Since Sam and Bucky had been the leads on the entire investigation, they got to have some time to question Osborn alone.

Steve was just grateful the security cameras had been turned off. Funny how things worked out.

Osborn was trying to arrange a deal with the Federal Government. Part of Steve wanted to be there all day to work with Everett Ross about what that really meant but they were already cutting it close with their timeline for getting to Boston by dinner. So, he shook hands with Ross and prayed for the best outcome.

At the end of the day, when their investigation was all wrapped up, the production and movements of illegal weapons had ceased and the chemical inhalants had been destroyed. That had been their mission, afterall. But Steve, Bucky and Sam would all feel a lot better if Harry Osborn was locked up in prison for a long time, too.

"I'm not sorry for what I did, Steve," Bucky continued, meeting Steve's gaze in the rear view mirror. "But I will apologize for not talkin' to you about it or considerin' the consequences. Really, I'm sorry." He reached his hand forward and squeezed Steve's shoulder.

After a few more moments, Steve finally cracked a small smile. "It felt good?"

"So good." Bucky laughed, eyebrows moving up and down. "I do feel bad for whatever agent had to clean up that mess afterwards though."

It was the least Bucky could do - to get some of his residual anger out of his system. After seeing Avery on the brink of falling apart for most of the week, he knew that getting even a minute alone with Harry Osborn was all he needed. The moment Osborn had even dared to ask how she was, dripping with insincerity, Bucky had snapped. Sam just stayed in his seat and let it happen, too.

Not that he was going to admit it out loud, but Bucky was very grateful for Sam.

About halfway through their drive, they had stopped at a gas station to fuel up. Back on the road, Bucky took over as driver while Steve rode shotgun. Sam was pouring over the remaining Osborn case files in the backseat. Seems they all couldn't let the investigation go.

"It says here Osborn tested this chemical mixture on 16 subjects - all male, ranging from 220-260 pounds. Some had no side effects aside from mental and physical fatigue." Sam paused, flipping through some of the paperwork. "Some had nerve damage. A few even had the effects last longer than the projected time. One had a cardiac episode and died." He flipped the file closed and looked back towards the front seat. "So, how is Avery doing?"

"Well, she's still alive," Steve responded dryly, rolling his eyes. "But thanks for that."

Sam shook his head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to.." He clicked his tongue and shrugged. "I'm glad she's okay. Just makes you wonder about the long term effects of this shit, you know?"

Steve glanced over to Bucky, who was gripping the wheel very tightly. "Mickey Cho said it's hard to track because there's no baseline - without knowing a starting point for Avery, there's nothing to compare to. But so far, she seems to be recovering."

Bucky let out a slow exhale. "The other day.. Before she had that bad panic attack." He took a second to collect his thoughts. "Her adrenaline was definitely spiked but she managed to push me off of her pretty easily. I didn't really think twice about it until now."

"Huh." Steve turned to look towards Bucky. "It's not uncommon for people in distress to display certain bouts of strength."

Bucky just hummed in agreement. That was probably it.

Steve tried to shelf the work conversation, instead prodding Sam about his relationship with Kasey. It was rare for them to see Sam lose his confidence so quickly but as he rambled on about his unofficial girlfriend, their mood lightened.

* * *

By the time the ballroom was set up and the wedding rehearsal was completed Friday evening, Avery was in desperate need of a drink. She loved her sister more than anything in the world but they had gotten into nearly half a dozen arguments that day already.

The first was about Avery's wrist splint. Lora had switched from concerned about how she had injured herself to gently asking if she was going to be wearing it all day Saturday, too. Avery bit her lip.

Then, Lora was upset about the (wrong?) flowers that had been delivered. And the set up of the draped ceiling in the ballroom. And the sashes on the chairs. Luckily, Allie had shown up midafternoon with a coffee for her fiancee and some of her own bridal party members to assist and most of Lora's annoyances fell away. During the rehearsal of the ceremony, Lora only squawked about a few things and by the time it was over, she seemed to have mostly calmed down.

Everyone was heading to a partitioned off area of the hotel restaurant and patio, where a casual buffet dinner was set up and, thank God, an open bar. During the rehearsal, Lou was proudly proclaiming how important it was for the family to be together for the evening and as much as Avery loved her dad, he was already making her feel exhausted. He had greeted her with a big bear hug, making a joke about how her super boyfriends couldn't stop her from hurting herself and motioning to her injured wrist.

Avery smiled along, biting her tongue and instead asking her dad about Suzanne and how things were going. He didn't mention Steve or Bucky directly, or even ask how they were, and Avery did her best to chalk that up to the chaotic energy of the entire wedding weekend. He did make a point to ask her about her school applications and she simply dismissed his inquiry, reporting that she was still waiting to hear back.

Which wasn't entirely untrue. She had an inbox full of emails she was ignoring. It was like Pandora's Box - if she opened them, it became very real and a monster of a life change would be unleashed. She didn't want to think about that yet.

Avery was just looking forward to finding Bucky and Steve, who said they were waiting at the bar, and was heading up one of the large staircases when she heard footsteps catch up to her.

It was her brother. He arrived just before the rehearsal. "So, how are things going with your _boyfriends,_ Avery Ray?"

Avery let out a dramatic sigh, throwing her hands up to shrug. "Are we really doing this?"

Nash quirked an eyebrow, motioning his head to direct them out of the busy hallway area. He was dressed in full civilian garb - including sandals, cargo shorts and a plain black t-shirt. Avery scanned him for any signs of injury or duress - a habit she couldn't break - then frowned.

"We aren't _doing_ anything, Ave. That was a genuine question." Nash crossed his arms and looked at her the same way she had just him, ensuring she was free of any wear and tear. She seemed put together enough, wearing a basic floral dress and a jean jacket. Her hair was half pulled up into some messy design on her head but the irritated look remained on her face.

"This weekend is about Lora, Nash." Avery exhaled and glanced around to see if anyone was nearby. "I know you don't like Bucky and Steve but -

"That's not true. It's not that I don't like them - in fact, Steve is a stand up guy and Bucky has done nothing to make me dislike him per se. It's the two boyfriends concept that I'm still working on."

"Well, please work harder. For my sake." She relaxed her shoulders and conceded, closing in the distance between them to hug her brother. Despite her annoyance with him, she didn't want any mess between them considering he was leaving to go overseas soon. "When do you leave?"

Nash sighed, hugging her tight against his chest. "Wednesday morning. Sorry I haven't had much time to see you this summer. There's been a lot of… preparation this time around."

Avery nodded as she pulled away. "I know. You won't be completely off the grid though, right?"

Nash slung his arm over her shoulder as they headed towards the restaurant. "No, I'll have some internet access at least. If you don't mind an email penpal." Avery acted like she was contemplating such a thing but simply squeezed at her brother's hip as she wrapped her arm around his lower back.

They walked into the restaurant, quickly finding the large group of people connected to the wedding. There was a huge extension of Allie's family mingling with Lora's side and this was only a small group compared to the entire guest list. Avery's eyes lit up when she spotted her boys near the bar. Steve was planted on a stool beside Sam while Bucky and Kasey were standing beside them.

"Hey, did you know Seth was gonna be here? And Crystal?" Nash didn't bother waiting for a response from his sister. He simply hurried across the room to greet her old friend and ex-boyfriend. Avery sighed and watched as he left. Yes, of course she knew those members of her past were coming to the wedding - she just wasn't aware they were joining them for dinner that night, too.

Lora had reminded her more than once that Avery should try to be polite to both Seth and Crystal. Her sister had even tried to give her the ' _she misses you!'_ speech again.

Avery _really_ needed that drink.

Tearing her eyes away from her brother and Seth reuniting then Nash greeting Crystal with a _hug_ , Avery headed towards the bar and immediately felt better when she saw Bucky smile and greet her.

"There you are," he said warmly, taking a few steps to meet her and pull her into a hug. "You survived the day."

"Hardly," she laughed in return, giving him an extra squeeze as they broke away. She shuffled over and planted herself in front of Steve, slotting herself between his legs as she ordered a glass of wine. His hands found her hips then locked around her torso, pulling her back so he could kiss her forehead.

The stirring quell of anxiety that was brewing within Avery seemed to just disappear. Once she had her wine in hand and a perfectly normal flow of conversation with her favourite people, she was even more at ease.

A smirk grew on Kasey's face as she and Avery recapped their day for the boys. "Everything was going smoothly at the spa this morning until this one managed to pull a door off its hinges."

"Kase." Avery raised her eyebrows, eyes wide. She smiled and spoke through her teeth. "I politely asked you to keep that incident between us."

"Wait. What happened?" Steve's hand tightened on Avery's hip, though his eyes moved to look at Bucky then Sam.

Avery sighed. "Nothing serious. They had these little rooms for undressing before treatments and I was going back in to change out of my robe and.." She trailed off, pausing to take a large sip of wine. "Personally I think the hinges of the door needed to be replaced anyway. When I pulled the door open - using my left hand since this one is out of commission - it sort of ricocheted and the screws pulled out and.."

"It didn't hurt you?" Bucky asked slowly, picturing the scene in his head.

"No, I'm fine." Avery shrugged this time, glancing over towards Bucky with a reassuring smile. "Seriously. And they apologized and even threw in a free fancy moisturizer for my troubles."

Thankfully, their conversation was cut short as Lou headed into the room with Lora, Allie and Allie's parents. They called for everyone to come and sit down for dinner. The restaurant had set up a few large, round tables for their group. Dinner was easy and painfree - though it did conclude with Lou deciding it was time for him to make his first 'father of the bride' speech of the weekend, carefully avoiding tearing up.

The entire upcoming event became very real to Avery as the evening slowed down. Her baby sister was getting married. She was going to be standing at her side as Lora made a vow to her new wife and for a long time, Avery had conflicting feelings about it. Not about Lora's choice of partner - she loved Allie and couldn't even dream up a better person to be joining their family.

Avery was the elder sister and she always sort of imagined she'd be the one married first. She thought she had been on track for that, even. Before Snap. Wasn't that the plan with Seth? She shook her head of all the doubtful thoughts swirling through her mind. She didn't have time to wrestle with all those feelings now.

Once their plates had cleared and Avery had finished off her next glass of wine, she excused herself to freshen up. She was met with a pair of inquisitive stares from both Bucky and Steve as she got up, but a small smile plastered on her face stopped them before they could ask if she was okay.

Truthfully, she was mostly okay. Considering how her week had started, this weekend was going to be a breeze. There was just an unrelenting hopeful mantra Avery was repeating in her head again and again - _not now, deal with it later._

 _It_ being the uncertainties about her past and the potential for the future.

A splash of cold water from the washroom sink grounded her enough. She just needed to survive the next couple hours before bed. Then, she'd crash in her sister's suite with Kasey and the other bridesmaids, doing last minute preparation before the big day. And maybe talk Lora down from her tower of nerves, too.

As Avery headed back into the restaurant, she noticed that Steve and Bucky had moved outside to the patio area. They were leaning up on a tall table with Kasey, Sam and Suzanne - basking in the warm air and the setting sun. She smiled at the sight, grabbed a fresh glass of wine and headed through the patio doors, only to run straight into Crystal.

"Oh. Hey Crystal," Avery said quickly, doing her best to plaster a smile on her face. She waited for the hug but there was no movement from her old friend. Instead, they stood across from each other awkwardly. After a few seconds, Avery was just going to politely excuse herself to join the group at the table but then Crystal spoke up.

"Hard to believe Lora is getting married, huh." Crystal offered Avery a polite smile, tucking a strand of her wavy blonde hair behind her ear.

Instead of replying, Avery nodded and took a sip of her wine. Crystal adjusted her stance, taking the time to smooth out her dress.

"Seth's parents have Claire for the weekend," Crystal pushed on, trying to force a conversation. "Though I think she wanted to come! She's been twirling around the apartment all week babbling about pretty dresses and weddings. She was actually a flower girl in Alicia's wedding last summer."

Avery took another long drink from her wine glass. She really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to think about how beautiful Crystal's sister must have been at her wedding. How she had grown up side by side to her and how it must have been such a warm, happy occasion for their family. How did Crystal find the energy to continue to try to refresh their friendship still? Maybe Avery had to be more obvious. Maybe she had to -

"I guess Seth was wrong." Crystal's suddenly cold words brought Avery back to the present. Avery met her gaze just as she was rolling her eyes.

"What does that mean?" Avery asked, eyebrows narrowed.

"It's nothing. He said I should just try again, that you needed time to come around and maybe this weekend would help us try and be friends again."

Avery couldn't help but laugh. "Crystal, come on. By now you've got to understand that's not going to happen."

Even though it had been a long time since they had been close, Avery knew Crystal's tells. She knew how her jaw trembled when she got upset, how she closed her eyes tightly to stop herself from crying, how she dug her nails into her fists to feel something. Avery knew - and she could see her old friend unravelling.

"This isn't fair, Avery. I'm at least trying! You're treating me like I'm.. Like I'm some villain. Like I did something wrong and unforgivable and -

"You did, Crystal! How do you not understand that?" Avery scoffed, shaking her head and reaching over to put down her wine glass. "We can't just go back to normal. That's not how this works. I can't just… forget everything that happened. Do you even understand how this made me feel? You and Seth? In the blink of an eye, my life was pulled out from underneath me and suddenly all I knew was that my best friend and my boyfriend were living _my life_ together."

Avery shook her head and continued when Crystal tried to defend herself. "Not only did I lose five years of my life but I lost my mom. And when I got to see the stupid goddamn program from her funeral and.." Avery was trembling, too. Her eyes darted around and she knew that people could hear them. They were watching. Steve had even taken a few steps away from the table but Avery held up a hand to stop him.

"Avery." Crystal choked out her name. "Are you mad because I spoke at your mom's funeral? Your dad _asked me to._ What else was I supposed to do?"

"I disappeared and you.. you slotted yourself into my life, Crystal."

Crystal took a deep breath, looking up towards the sky as she let her tears fall. "Avery. You were gone. We thought you were dead. I spoke at your memorial, too. Did you even know that?" Crystal's hands were clenched at her side. "I know for a lot of people who vanished they think they had it worse but we lost so many.. Avery, I lost so many people. So did Seth. My mom watched my dad disappear in front of her eyes. My brother and sister.. Seth's nieces.. Do you even know what we went through, too? Your family _took me in_ , Ave. I lost so many people - I lost you and they.. Invited me and mom over for every holiday. Lora called me to make sure I was okay. Your mom.." Crystal was sobbing when she trailed off. "She and I talked about you all the time. I sat with her when she was sick… she missed you so much. So did I." She tried to sober up and contain herself. "But now you're back and you will hardly even look at me."

Avery tried to reach for her hand but Crystal pulled away. "It hurts, Crys. It still hurts."

"Yeah. I know it does." Crystal shook her head, chewing on her bottom lip. "I can understand why you're upset, really. This isn't easy to figure out and there is no normal to go back to. I am not sorry for accepting the support of your family. And I'm not going to apologize for finding comfort in Seth, Avery. I won't. We didn't expect for this to happen and.. I'm not sorry. We had Claire and we're making it work."

It was telling to Avery - she could sense that Crystal _making it work_ with Seth didn't necessarily mean it was what they had intended. She didn't know what else to say.

Avery had spent so much time being angry about her life - about what happened beyond her control. The life she left behind was so far away but it had been hers. She still remembered that haunting, gut wrenching feeling. If she closed her eyes, she was back in that old apartment sobbing on the floor in front of her old life. But the more she sat with the anger, the less she understood. Had she been that selfish this whole time?

"I.. I didn't know any of that, Crystal. I.." How could she not just simply choke out the words _I'm sorry?_

"Because you didn't ask, Avery. Don't you see how lucky we are? To have a chance again. I'm grateful I got so many people back but.. if you don't want to be friends, I guess that's it." Crystal seemed to have easily put herself into a rational state of mind, excusing herself away from her old friend and ducking back into the restaurant.

Avery stood by herself, stiff with the honesty that had hit her. Of course she knew that life had gone on during the five year gap - she couldn't really fathom the repair people had to do emotionally when they accepted that their loved ones were gone forever. But what did she owe Crystal now? Understanding? Forgiveness?

Instead of forcing her feet to move, she took a moment to pull herself together - tipping the full glass of wine back much quicker than she should have. She looked over to see both Steve and Bucky walking towards her, concerned faces on display. Avery quickly looked around the rest of the patio and luckily no one else seemed to be focused on her - she was really hoping her argument with Crystal had gone mainly unnoticed.

The last thing she wanted was for anyone, Lora especially, to think Avery was making this weekend about herself. She waved away Steve and Bucky's questions before they could even ask. "I think I need a break from this." She motioned to all the people outside and still in the restaurant.

Steve nodded, tipping his head upwards. "I think they have a rooftop bar."

Avery nodded and let Steve lead them towards the elevators. She remained quiet as they moved locations, taking in a series of long slow breaths. When they got upstairs, Bucky grabbed her hand and walked with her to the far side of the bar while Steve grabbed them a few drinks.

The sunset view over the Boston skyline was beautiful - Avery gripped the railing with both hands and leaned slightly forward, letting out a long exhale as she stared out into the distance. She turned after a few seconds, leaning her back against the railing and looking at Bucky.

He was staring at her, honest eyes narrowed with curiosity. She took the time to drink him in. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans, paired with a simple dark grey button up. He had a weeks worth of scruff lining his jaw and his hair somehow seemed both fluffy and perfectly styled, a feat Avery never understood. But looking at his eyes - that's where she felt her heart beat faster.

"What were you and Crystal talking about, doll?" His question was quiet and careful. He had tried his best not to listen in, even though the two women had been talking at a level loud enough that even people with normal hearing could have clued in.

"Buck. Can you be honest with me? Do you think I'm selfish?"

He looked very taken back by her question. "Ave, you're the definition of selfless. I'm not sure you have a selfish bone in your body." He took a second to pretend to contemplate further. "I mean, if we're really stretching, I would argue there are times when you have been a touch selfish in bed but -

"Hey!" Avery swatted at him, an embarrassed blush warming her cheeks. "Not fair. You and Steve are just very generous." As quickly as she smiled, her face fell into a frown again. She closed her eyes and took another sip.

Bucky stepped forward and gently grabbed her elbow. "Do _you_ think you're selfish?"

Avery sighed. "That's not the word I'd use. But I am realizing there might have been moments - big moments - where I have focused on only my own feelings and not consider how other people might have been affected, too."

"But your feelings are important, doll."

"I know. I just.. the past year has just felt like trying to find myself again, find the right balance and.. maybe I ignored some of the more difficult emotions along the way."

Before he could reply, Steve was making his way towards them. In contrast to Bucky, he was donning a black suit jacket over his button up. His eyes were staring her down just the same. He handed a beer to Bucky and a short cocktail glass to Avery.

"Sorry, I had to run back to the room to grab something," Steve said slowly, moving his gaze to look at Bucky. They shared a knowing smirk.

"Thank you," Avery replied, nodding to her drink after she took a sip. "Buck is just.. Talking me down from some nonsense thoughts."

"Oh?" Steve raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure who put the idea in her head but Ave thinks she's a selfish person." Bucky quickly tried to catch Steve up.

Steve looked towards Avery, tilting his head in confusion. "The girl who is the first to give up her seat on the subway for someone who might need it more than her?"

"The same one who might put her wellbeing at risk for her elderly neighbour across the hall, even," Bucky added in, taking a sip of his beer.

"Stop it," Avery answered them both, whining out their names. "I'm just… I'm going to put all these feelings into a box and open them after the wedding instead, okay? Please, I'm okay. I just don't want to talk about it anymore." Her eyes bounced back and forth as she looked between her boyfriends and they both seemed to concede and not push the topic.

"Speaking of opening a box.." Steve put down his beer on a nearby high top table.

"That's a terrible transition," Bucky said with a laugh, reaching his arm over to Avery to come closer to him. She happily obliged, tucking herself underneath his left arm. She looked over at Steve as he fished something out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

Avery let out a quiet gasp as Steve turned with a small velvet box in hand, quickly opening the hinge and presenting it to her. Nestled inside was a set of earrings - a round pale pink sapphire stone set in rose gold. With wide eyes, she quickly glanced from Bucky to Steve.

"Are those for me?"

Steve couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Well, they aren't Bucky's style so.."

"I think I'd like something in silver, personally. Or maybe gun metal." Bucky squeezed her shoulder. "Of course they're for you, doll."

She carefully reached over and took the jewelry box from Steve, analysing the delicate earrings. "Are they real? Like… there's no microphone built in? Or they aren't actually some other weird weapon?"

Steve sighed, though the smile remained on his face. "We picked them out from an actual jewelry store in Brooklyn, I swear."

"You picked these out for me?" Avery wasn't sure if this was the return of her brain fog but she was genuinely taken back by their kindness.

Bucky pulled her a bit closer so he could kiss the top of her head. "I thought they'd look nice with your dress tomorrow."

"These will be perfect. I'm wearing a necklace from my mom's old jewelry collection but I was just going to go without earrings.. I just.. You guys didn't have to do this." She snapped the box closed, taking in a sharp breath. "Thank you. This really means so much to me."

Steve shuffled in closer, reaching out to run his hand down her arm. She wiggled out from under Bucky's arm and fell onto Steve's chest instead, letting out a long breath. Bucky leaned over and met her lips with his.

"A pair of fancy earrings is the least we could do. Especially after this week. We just feel so lucky to have you, doll."

Avery hated to admit it, but in _these moments_ she did feel a touch selfish. Though she didn't really mind.

* * *

When Avery finally heard her sister - her baby sister, her little Lora Marie - deliver her wedding vows Saturday afternoon, everything was suddenly very worth it. The frustrating, detailed plans from her Bridezilla sister, the uncomfortable high heels, the tight up-do that had managed not to fall out of place all day. It was the least she could suffer through if it meant her sister had a joyous, happy wedding.

The ceremony was mesmerizing. Outside in the courtyard of the hotel, a transformation happened. There were beautiful lanterns hanging between the trees, lively wildflowers lining every row of chairs, flower petals that perfectly decorated the aisle. Their guest list had been thorough but it still felt intimate as a violinist walked both Allie and Lora down the aisle with their fathers, side by side, hands tangled together.

From her position beside her sister, Avery watched the crowd soften throughout the ceremony. Tissues were shared throughout, as Lora choked out her sincere vows to her new wife. They traded honest promises to each other, talking about hard work and compromise and the most important thing of all - love.

Avery had been determined to avoid crying during the ceremony but had failed rather quickly. It was during the signing of the wedding certificate, as she waited with Allie's brother for their turn to act as witness, that Avery finally had the opportunity to scan the crowd fully.

She spotted them right away - _her boys_. They had chosen to sit near the back with Sam, probably out of sincere kindness since together their frames could mimic a brick wall, but they weren't hard to find. Avery couldn't wait to really drink them in - but even from a distance, their handsome features were on full display.

Steve was in a classic navy suit with a skinny tie, hair perfectly coiffed and beard trimmed. He managed to look over at her, eyes sparkling from what felt like a mile away. Without breaking his eye contact, he nudged Bucky and muttered something to rouse his attention.

Avery's eyes flicked to Bucky, who was sending a classic Barnes smirk her way. He had cleaned up his scruff and combed his hair too, replying something quietly to Steve, causing them both to laugh. He was dressed in something less standard, a charcoal grey button up and black tie under his black suit jacket. She resisted licking her lips as they stared.

Avery could not wait to objectify them even further.

After the ceremony, the entire wedding party was pulled away for photos at a nearby conservatory. They didn't get back to the hotel until right before the new married couple was announced during the end of the cocktail hour. As they were both temporarily relieved of their bridesmaid obligations, both Avery and Kasey hurried to the bar while they had a spare moment.

"I don't want to alarm you," Kasey started slowly, taking a big gulp of her cocktail as Avery turned around slowly. "But I think your boyfriends are currently chatting with Nash and your ex-boyfriend."

Avery turned quickly, gripping her wine glass tight in her left hand as she peered across the room. She wasn't sure why she felt so awkward all of a sudden - they were all just talking and laughing about _something_. But the longer she watched, the more an anxious feeling seemed to grow in the pit of her stomach. Before she could even realize what was happening, the sound of shattering glass sounded out as the wine glass she was holding was suddenly broken into pieces in her hand.

Avery gasped and let the glass pieces fall, raising her hand up in surprise and innocence as the bartender rushed around to see what had happened. Luckily, her hand was only wet with wine, not blood. Kasey was laughing awkwardly at her side, muttering some comment about how she was turning into some off brand version of the Hulk.

Avery apologized to the bartender, refusing a new glass of wine and hurrying away from her chuckling cousin. She didn't make it across the room to Bucky and Steve before someone from Allie's side of the wedding party grabbed her hand, pulling her back to prepare for the official bridal party entrances before dinner.

Avery did her best to stay calm and level-headed. There was nothing inherently wrong about Bucky and Steve having a casual conversation with Seth. And Nash. In fact, Avery wanted her brother to make more of an effort with her boys anyway so she figured she could just try to be grateful. But her mind was racing off in a million directions and she really just wanted a minute of time to pause, take a deep breath and say hello to her boyfriends instead of pining across the room and sending short texts to each other.

It wasn't until after dinner - _well after dinner_ \- that she finally had a free moment. As the rest of the bridesmaids skipped off to find the desserts or make another trip to the bar, Avery beelined it to the round table where she saw Steve, Bucky and Sam sitting.

She draped her arms around the shoulders of Steve and Bucky, saying hi before dropping into the open chair beside Steve.

"Avery, you look great, cupcake. Did you see where my girlfriend went off to?" Sam was grinning like an idiot.

"Wait. What?" Avery's eyes grew wide as she pointed at Sam.

"Sam finally grew a pair and defined the relationship," Bucky filled in with a smirk, getting a laugh from Steve and Avery.

"Wow, Kasey didn't even tell me," Avery said with a surprise. "She probably went to the bar." Sam stood and headed in that direction while Avery dramatically rested her head on Steve's shoulder.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all day. It sucks that I can't even show off my plus ones.." Avery lamented as Steve extended his hand over her shoulder.

Bucky just smirked, reaching for his coffee cup off the table. "I don't know what you're talking about, Ave. Steve is my wedding date and I'm his. Looks like you're on your own."

"Ha ha." Avery stuck her tongue out at Bucky. "You two each have to save me at least one dance, okay?"

"Ready for your big speech?" Steve asked as she sat back up, smoothing out her hair.

"Not even close to being mentally prepared but it's going to happen either way. It doesn't help that I stayed up until like two in the morning rewriting it, only for Lora to wake up at four - freaking out about the colour she chose for her nails." Avery sighed. That was all true, of course. When she got to Lora's suite the night before, she had been more than ready to crash. But one stray thought set her off and before she realized it, she had rewritten her entire Maid of Honour speech. After her discussion with Steve and Bucky the night before, something had shifted in her and the words seemed to spill out.

"Well, Stevie. You're a big speech guy. Give our girl some advice?" Bucky was smirking as he slapped his hand against Steve's back.

"Honestly, they never really got easier for me," Steve replied with a shrug. "Just know that whatever you say won't end up in a 24 hour news cycle, at least."

"That was not helpful. Thank you." Avery laughed and moved to stand, leaning over to kiss Steve and then Bucky. "I'm serious about those dances. We also need at least half a dozen photos to commemorate how fancy we are all dressed today."

Bucky hadn't been to a wedding in a long time. He couldn't really remember the last wedding he went to, even. One of his cousins got married before he left for the war. He recalled spending a lot of the event snickering with his sister Rebecca as a helpless distant cousin from the groom's side had seemed smitten with her.

Weddings in the new century were very different, though. He liked it. He liked the big spacious ballroom with draped ceilings and sparkling lights. He wasn't sure about the large floral displays on the tables but he knew Avery must have helped pick them out so he decided he liked them, too.

The fashion has evolved especially and even during the ceremony, despite the clearly beautiful unique gowns on the new couple, he couldn't stop staring at Avery. He remembered seeing her in the dress months ago in that boutique uptown but seeing her now took his breath away. The pink fabric flowed perfectly against her body and with her hair tucked away, he could take in every inch of her - from the hint of leg sticking out of the gown up to the exposed skin on her shoulders.

Although Bucky still didn't feel entirely settled about the lack of conclusion to their investigation, especially not knowing how things had played out with Osborn, he felt a comforting sense of calm being at the wedding. Maybe it was the overarching theme of love that was doing him in or the fact that their week ahead was bound to be better than the one they left behind, he wasn't sure. But things felt light and much happier than they had in awhile.

Steve nudged his shoulder, pulling his attention back to the front of the room as someone spoke at the front podium. Allie's Maid of Honour, one of her cousins, started to deliver her speech. She kept things light and funny, telling stories about her childhood with Allie and a particularly eventful night out with Allie and Lora when they first started dating.

As the crowd clapped and clinked their glasses into a toast, Bucky watched as Avery moved from her seat at the head table towards the podium. Her nerves were pretty obvious but he could see she was trying to prep herself for her time at the microphone.

"She's favouring her left side," Steve said as he leaned over, pointing towards where Avery was standing.

Bucky sighed, but agreed. He had noticed that earlier, too. She had gone the entire day without her splint and it was clear her right wrist was causing her some issues. Even standing up there and reaching for the microphone, it seemed to be shaking.

"For those of you who don't know me, I'm Avery - Lora's Maid of Honour and older sister. I represent the Felix family and I was very ready to tell you some very embarrassing stories about Lo - including what really happened the morning she met Allie for the first time." Avery paused and turned to give her sister a coy smile.

"But, I had a strike of inspiration last night and rewrote this entire thing." She picked up the pile of paper ahead of her. "So bear with me here."

Avery took a deep breath and closed her eyes, tuning out the tinkling of glasses and shuffling of chairs.

"Often when people like Allie and Lora find either other, outside observers are quick to talk about luck. Whenever a relationship seems so unbelievably in sync, where someone can finish the other's thoughts or predict their actions, we praise how in tune they are. But I just wanted to talk about that one poignant word: luck. A successful relationship isn't about luck. Sure, maybe - _maybe -_ the universe or God or whatever can take credit for the meet cute or the happenchance situation. We can all assume some force compelled Allie to sit down in one particular chair in that first year Anatomy class. And that same force inspired my sister to complain that Allie was in _her_ seat. But that's where the luck disappeared.

"Love isn't about luck. Love is hard work and compromise and frustration. Love is putting the dishes away when your other half failed to and only complaining about it for a few minutes. Love means letting some things go and fighting for the big stuff.

"It's not luck. It is a full time job - ensuring your own needs are met when you spend so much time creating a safe and happy space for your partner.

"Love is a warm bed you don't want to leave. But eventually you do because someone forgot to program the coffee maker and the cat needs to be fed and the front steps need to be shovelled. Love is anticipating needs and saying thank you and appreciating the hardship.

"I'd be hard pressed not to incorporate a good Bible quote here. I will paraphrase but this one is for you, dad." Avery paused to point at her dad at a nearby table, getting both an eye roll and a chuckle.

"Love is patient and kind. It doesn't envy or brag or barter. It doesn't keep score or get angry for no reason. Love doesn't revel in the bad parts but cheers and applauds the good. It always protects, always hopes, always trusts and most importantly, it always perseveres.

"My sister and brothers and I were very lucky to have an example of hard working love growing up. Any relationship isn't without faults but our parents did everything they could to make things work. And considering how frustrating Lora can be, I know Allie has her work cut out for her in her new wife. And I mean that with appreciation and love, Lo." That earned Avery a very hard look from her sister and a laugh from Allie.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is.. we aren't all here today because of luck. We're here because these two decided to commit to each other for the rest of their lives, in sickness and in health, in laughter and tears, because their love is strong enough to make it. And all of us here to see it - well, I lied, I guess. We're the lucky ones to witness the start of their next chapter. Now, before we toast, I want you all to know my first draft of this speech is available if you just come and ask. It includes a very embarrassing story about The Cheesecake Factory -

"Avery!" Lora's eyes shot open wide, groaning and hiding her face against her new wife.

Avery just smirked, lifting up her champagne flute. "To Allie and Lora!"

* * *

Avery felt torn just thinking about who she was going to have her first dance with - but when she glanced towards the table where her boyfriends had been sitting and she only saw Bucky, she supposed the decision was made for her.

As couples flooded the dance floor following Lora and Allie's first dance, Bucky was quick to stand and meet her. He adjusted the buttons on his jacket and once again his face was displaying the sultry charming smirk. It managed to make Avery's stomach flutter. As the music rolled into another slower paced piece, his right arm found the small of her back and he took her right hand in his left.

"Did you lose Steve?" Avery asked.

Bucky just chuckled. "He disappeared outside with some of your dad's army friends. I think he's avoiding the dance floor, honestly. He has a bit of a hang up."

Avery just hummed, not entirely sure what that really meant. But she didn't want to press. Instead, she leaned in and rested her head against Bucky's shoulder. He took the lead as they swayed.

Avery's grip on his hand was tight. She lifted her head and looked to where their hands were tangled. She had gotten so used to Bucky's metal appendage that seeing it in a glove was foreign.

"Just feels a bit safer with the glove on. Less questions to be asked." Bucky answered her silent thoughts. "Although I did take it off for a few minutes earlier when your brother introduced us to Seth."

Avery rolled her eyes but let herself laugh at the image of Seth being intimidated by Steve and Bucky. "What did you think?"

"Of Seth? Eh." Bucky shrugged, taking the opportunity to spin them, rousing a giggle from Avery. "Stiff, boring."

"What did you think of my speech?" Avery repeated, elaborating on the question.

"I liked it," Bucky answered slowly. "Sort of felt like you were talking to me and Stevie. Or about me and Stevie."

Avery sighed, happily. "I was a bit. I don't know. These past few months really opened my eyes to what a future could look like for us. I'm worried we're going to lose this honeymoon phase and.. well, even if we do.. I feel like we can make it work. Does that make sense?"

Bucky answered by leaning it and pressing a kiss against her lips. It was the _only_ thing that made sense.

As the tempo of the music picked up, Bucky politely bowed out of further dancing though Avery stayed. She joined in the celebrations with her sister and sister-in-law and friends and cousins. She finally felt like she could relax - now that the speeches were over, her obligations had been completed. The dance floor was fun - a lot of laughter and silly movements and controlled chaos took over as the music continued. It reminded Avery of her college days and the minute that thought crossed her mind, like fate, she met eyes with Crystal.

Avery took a deep breath and grabbed for her old friend's hand. "Can we talk?" Her voice was muffled over the music. Avery could see the hesitance in Crystal's eyes but she felt relief when the blonde nodded. The courtyard was just off the side of the ballroom and was luckily fairly unoccupied and very quiet once they made it through the double doors. The two women walked through the space slowly, with Crystal eventually finding a seat on a wooden bench. She stared up towards the string lights illuminating them.

"I like your dress," Avery started slowly, awkwardly standing a few feet away and pointing at the sequined champagne coloured dress Crystal was wearing.

"Thanks." Crystal's reply was quiet. There was a long pause. "Your speech was perfect."

Avery let out an uncomfortable laugh. "I'm sure my dad was happy I managed not to curse."

Crystal took a deep breath. "Your mom would have loved it, Ave."

If there was one thing Avery appreciated about Crystal, it was how relentless she could be. It wasn't a trait she particularly missed but it did remind Avery she was true to herself, still.

"Crystal, I need to apologize. I know it might not count for anything but I've been trying to work on myself a lot since… coming back. It hasn't been easy. I know it hasn't been easy for anyone but just surviving until now was a struggle. I think it was easier to just think about myself instead of sitting with the reality everyone else had to face, too. I've been selfish and -

"Avery," Crystal stopped her, motioning for Avery to sit beside her on the bench. "I don't think you're selfish. And I'm sorry if you think I think that. It's been hard all over and I guess I thought we'd get to pick up where we left off but.."

"We can't." Avery dropped down, folding her hands in her lap. "I've been angry for so long that I didn't even realize what I was really upset about. I didn't take the time to actually sit with my stupid emotions. I just blamed everything else possible for my shitty outcome." She sighed, leaning her head back. "You aren't the bad guy. I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at the circumstance and took it out on you. Seeing you and Seth in our apartment.. it just set the scene for everything else. It's been this imprint on my brain."

Crystal sighed, too. "He doesn't love me, Ave. Not really. Not in the way that.." Another heavy pause. "I left Lora's bachelorette party very alone and very sad. Seeing how your partners.. boyfriends.. how they looked at you? It was so beautiful. It was exactly like your speech - there was love and understanding. I see Seth look at Claire like that but not at me. And maybe that's okay. But all of a sudden you were right there, so close and so far away and I was alone. I went home to Seth and my baby and still.. I was alone."

Avery slid over slightly and reached for Crystal's hand. She wasn't sure what else to say.

"I know we can't go back to normal but if you could be in my life again.. in some way, I'll take it." Crystal squeezed Avery's hand then stood up. "Just call me sometime. Whenever. No pressure." She plastered a smile on her face then nudged her head. "I'll leave you to it."

Avery opened her mouth to reply but Crystal turned and left quickly. That's when Avery noticed Steve standing near the doorway.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he started, whipping his head around as Crystal flew past him.

"We were about done anyway," Avery assured him, taking his hand to stand up. "You okay?" She scanned him as thoroughly as she could in the lowlights of the court yard. He had one hand in his pants pocket and the other brushed through his hair.

"Yes," Steve replied with a tight smile. "It's just been a long week."

"Don't I know it," Avery hummed in agreement. She took in a breath and snaked one of her arms around Steve's back, pressing herself against him. She was getting better at reading him and found the courage to continue. "What's going on, Stevie?"

A quiet laugh rumbled out of his chest and his arms were wrapping around her. "Every time you call me _Stevie_ I just fall to pieces. Did you know that?"

Avery giggled. Of course she knew that. She stayed wrapped up in his arms, enjoying hearing the sound of his beating heart.

"You know, me and Buck.. we can't give you this."

Avery wasn't sure what he meant. She stayed quiet as he collected his thoughts.

"I don't think three people can get married. I'm not sure how a wedding would look or how your family would react or.." His voice got lower and lower as he trailed off. "Maybe this relationship -

"Steven Grant Rogers. If you try to quit this relationship again I swear I'm going to cry. Seriously!" Avery tried to pull away but Steve was just laughing, keeping her locked in his embrace. "I'll cry. Do you want me to cry?"

"Avery, sweetheart." He loosened his hold and she pushed away, an angry pout on her face. "I'm not quitting. I just want to make sure you're not sacrificing what you want for us."

Avery huffed but her smile broke through. "I'm not. Really. I'm not sure I was ever the type to dream of a big fancy wedding like this. And that doesn't matter - a wedding is just one day! It's one very expensive day. I don't need a wedding. Wait. Have you thought about this? Like with me and Buck? You know we've only been dating for a few months." Avery's resolve was quickly fading. "Stevie. You really are the romantic."

"Oh stop, c'mon." He reached for her again and pulled her in. Before Avery even realized it, he was moving her hands to the back of his neck. Then he was grabbing her waist.

Dancing. They were dancing.

Though the music was faint and a bit more uptempo than your traditional slow dance, they swayed. Steve quickly adjusted and grabbed her hand, mirroring the same pose she held with Bucky earlier.

Steve's hand enveloping her was so warm and the smile on his face made the rest of her glow. All of the questions and worries and anxieties that had been brewing seemed to crumble away. With her eyes closed, Avery revelled in the intimacy of the moment.

She felt lucky.

No, that wasn't it. That couldn't be it.

All she knew was every single thing she had done in her life had brought her to this exact moment in time. She wanted to etch it into her heart forever - the subtle harmonies coming from far away, the warm summer breeze rustling the flora in the courtyard, the lingering scent of Steve's aftershave. She felt consumed in a way she had never experienced before.

Instead of filling the time with a snarky quip or commentary, she sat with it. She felt it. She wanted to always remember the comfort and protective feeling of Steve's palm splayed against her back. The texture of his suit jacket as she rested her head on his chest.

The steady beating of his heart and soul.

It was so much more than luck.

* * *

In the midst of ordering a drink at the bar, Avery felt someone saddle up beside her and say hello. She flicked her eyes to the right and there was Seth, offering a polite smile.

Avery turned to the bartender. "I'll actually have a shot of whiskey instead of the wine. Thanks." She took in a long breath and turned to her ex-boyfriend. "Hey."

He raised an eyebrow at her, letting out a short laugh as she grabbed the shot glass. "I just wanted to see how you were, Avery. No ulterior motive, you know."

Avery sighed as she returned the empty glass.

Seth extended his hand and motioned towards the dance floor. "Wanna dance?" She supposed it was harmless, letting him guide her along to where some people had collected in the middle of the room. A slow jazz cover of something was playing.

"Crystal told me you guys kind of came to an understanding." Seth held her at bay, hands stiff on her hips the way a young awkward preteen would at a school dance.

Avery roped her hands behind his neck and politely nodded. "That is the most diplomatic way of saying it. It's not like we can go back to how things were before."

Seth nodded, as if he was taking her in words. "I know. But she.. I think she needs someone like you in her life."

Avery wasn't sure what that meant but she nodded along. "So, how are you? Are you still at Walter & Kemp?" All Seth used to talk about was being a partner there one day. But that always meant long, long days at the office and no time for his relationship. Avery hoped maybe he was better with his time management now, if not for Crystal but for his daughter.

"No. I'm with a smaller firm. Not sure I'll ever make partner but it gives me a better work life balance. I never thought I'd be the type who races home to see his kid after work and yet - here I am."

Avery just nodded, letting her eyes wander around the room. She spotted Bucky in the midst of twirling Allie in a dance. Steve was sitting down at a table in the middle of a conversation with Suzanne. They both seemed at ease.

"So," Seth continued on, despite Avery's fleeting interest. "Nash introduced me to your boyfriends. Plural. That was interesting."

Avery sighed. "Say whatever it is you're dying to unleash, Seth."

"I just think it's interesting!" His repeated phrase didn't put her anymore at ease. "How did that even happen?"

"I don't think you are on the list of people who get private details about my relationship. I'm happy. They're both incredibly kind and caring and passionate and -

"I'm happy for you, Avery! Really. No need to come in so hot." Seth pursed his lips into a flat smile. "I'm just curious if this was all brand new or if we could have done the threesome thing when we were together or -

Avery's eyes blew open. "You're a piece of work, Seth. You know, Crystal deserves better than -

"Hey - can I cut in?"

"Of course, Mr. Felix."

Avery immediately dropped her hands from Seth and happily turned her attention over to her father instead. "Yes. Please. Thank you."

Seth mumbled something as he turned to leave but Avery didn't even bother acknowledging him further.

"Figured I should get in another father/daughter dance tonight. God knows when you're gonna get married," Lou said with a bright smile, planting a hand on Avery's waist and leading them with the other.

Avery rolled her eyes. "Dad."

"Apparently some triads still get married. Or well, they have what's called a commitment ceremony. I was reading that -

"Wait a second." Avery met her dad's eyes, a small coy smile on her face. "Did you just say triad? Have you been doing research?"

Lou looked a bit embarrassed. "Maybe. Suzanne got me some books from the library and -

Avery dropped her hands and moved to pull her dad into a hug. She could feel him laughing in surprise, then his arms were wrapping around her the same. She wasn't even sure what to say.

"I don't get it, Avery Ray. But I'm trying. Suzie was telling me she grew up with neighbours who were a quad? Four people in a relationship? Maybe it's not for me to understand. But if Bucky and Steve are taking care of you -

"They help me take care of myself, dad." That was an important distinction and something Avery was still learning.

"All the same to me," Lou replied with a shrug. "I don't want to do anything to lose this - lose you - ever again. So, maybe it ain't what I pictured for you, sunshine. But I'm not here to judge."

Avery released her hold on her father and they resumed their dance position. She stayed and danced with him for a few songs, talking about her plans for the fall and letting her father blush about his own relationship.

The night carried on from there. Sam and Kasey reappeared after hiding away _somewhere._ Avery danced with her sister and sister-in-law but soon enough those remaining took up space on the dance floor and they laughed and drank and celebrated into the night. Steve and Bucky even helped get a very drunk Nash to his hotel room.

The hotel staff practically had to kick Avery and her sister out of the ballroom after midnight. The staff were doing their best to tear down for the evening.

Avery was barefoot, her hair was falling out of it's position and she was holding Lora in her arms as they swayed to the last song.

"I couldn't have done this without you, Avery Ray," Lora said quietly, head resting on her older sister's shoulder. "I'm not sure I would have even found the energy to plan a wedding if you were still gone."

"Oh, come on. You didn't need me."

"I'll always need you."

Allie was intervening before they both broke down in tears. "I am way too tired to humour this right now. You two can cry tomorrow, okay? C'mon, babe. Let's get to bed." She gently grabbed her wife's shoulders and pulled them apart. After one last hug, Lora agreed then headed out of the room holding hands with her wife.

Avery spun around and before she could even say anything, Steve and Bucky were both standing near the door waiting for her. Bucky had her shoes hanging from his hand. She hurried over towards them, trying to hug them at the same time.

She had a big, dopey grin on her face. "Can you believe I've only had two glasses of champagne tonight?"

Steve quirked an eyebrow. "And how many glasses of wine?"

"Didn't I see you doing shots at the bar, doll."

Despite the restrictions of her dress, Avery managed to jump on Steve's back anyway and they all headed towards the elevator. When they finally made it upstairs to their room, Steve dropped her down on the bed.

"Did you move all my stuff up here?" She leaned up on her elbows, noticing her bags sitting on the desk.

"We did," Bucky answered, working at taking off his tie. "Didn't want to risk heading to Kasey's room at the end of the night." He and Steve shared a laugh and continued to discard their formal clothes.

"You sleepin' in that dress?" Bucky turned to ask Avery. She had moved to sit up against the headboard, legs stretched out ahead of her.

"Did I mention how great you both looked tonight? You should wear suits more often." Avery chewed on her lip. "I don't wanna sleep in this dress. But maybe you can help me out if it?"

_Was she being transparent enough?_

Steve choked out a laugh, pulling off his tie. He shot Bucky a _look._

God, she hated how they could talk without saying anything.

"What? My wrist is basically useless and I can't reach the zipper," Avery continued, doing her best to be very clear in her intentions. She shuffled along the bed and stood, innocently turning her back to them. "Please?"

Avery moved her hair out of the way and waited.

"Ave, when we started something like this on Wednesday, it didn't end well."

"I promise I'm in a much better headspace today. Please, Buck. I'll tap out if I get overwhelmed. I just wanna feel..." She turned and looked over her shoulder at them. She was going to get her way. She could tell. "Stevie? Please."

The boys shared another glance then Steve leaned towards Bucky, whispering something with a turned head. Bucky raised an eyebrow curiously. Steve smirked.

With a quiet sigh, she turned back to look away from them. She heard someone step towards her, one hand secure on her waist while the other slowly pulled down the zipper. She let the fabric fall to the floor, shivering slightly. A warmth started to grow when she felt lips pressing against her shoulders.

Before she could even realize what was happening, Steve had spun her around and pushed her back onto the bed. "You sober enough to make good decisions, kitten?"

Avery's eyes went wide for a brief second. _Kitten._ That was new. But considering how she was suddenly feeling between her legs, she liked it.

 _Oh, she liked it a lot._ She stuttered out a breathy _yes_ in response.

Steve crawled onto the bed beside her, hands trailing up her body. He laid kisses against every inch of her skin, effortlessly reaching to release her bra and throwing it across the room. When he pulled away to tear off his shirt, Avery propped herself up again and saw that Bucky had taken a seat in an armchair near the window. He had a sly grin on his face.

"You're not joining us?" Avery asked, gasping as Steve pushed her back down again. His hands hooked around her underwear, pulling them down her legs.

Bucky chuckled, reaching for his belt buckle. "Not yet." His smile grew as Steve dipped between her legs. "Didn't you have a dream just like this, doll?"

Avery's hands flew to grip the bed sheets, eyes closed tight. She murmured some reply. She wasn't even sure if it had been a coherent string of words because Steve's mouth was ravishing her. What was it she said earlier about luck and hard work? God, she appreciated this kind of pay off.

Bucky laughed, though it sounded closer to a growl. "I wanna watch."

* * *

Sunday morning, Avery was grateful for king size beds, large steam showers, and the hotel's late checkout policy. Steve was grateful for morning cuddles, beard scratches, and seemingly indestructible headboards. Bucky was grateful for the unbeatable stamina his two partners seemed to have.

* * *

Lou was hosting a 'day after party' at the family house just outside of Boston. The sun was shining and his backyard was full of family members, folding tables and laughter. He couldn't have asked for anything more.

Avery, Steve and Bucky showed up later than they had hoped. Once they had finally gotten out of bed and showered (and back into bed _and_ back into the shower once more), they had collected all their things and went to find the Jeep.

Steve had been very adamant that Avery wasn't to carry her bags or put anything in the back of his vehicle. She didn't think much about it, instead basking in the warm sunlight as she walked into the parking lot under Bucky's arm. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and a plain floral tank and sandals, finally given her feet a break after a day of heels.

She wasn't sure if her sister was anticipating a more business casual dress code for this afternoon at their dad's, but Avery didn't really care. Now that the wedding was behind them, she was trying to enjoy the last week of summer.

"So, do we get to see your childhood bedroom today?" Bucky asked as he strapped into the backseat. Avery just laughed as she secured her seatbelt.

"Unfortunately, no. My parents did a huge cleanse after the vanishing and thought it was best to transform my room into a home gym or something. It's mainly a mess of storage boxes and an old desk now." Avery shrugged. "If you're wondering who was plastered all over my walls as a teen, it was unfortunately Justin Timberlake and the dudes from Green Day."

Steve made a mental note to do a Google search for whoever those people were.

When they got to the house, Steve and Bucky headed into the backyard while Avery stole away to search for her brother. She didn't know how long he was staying and she wanted to find him before he left to get back to the city. Surprisingly, she found him sitting at the kitchen table with Lora. They appeared to be mid-argument.

"What's going on?" Avery asked as she approached. Nash looked very hungover, which was not a surprise. But Avery didn't often see Lora that heated with him.

"Did you know Nash spent most of last night outside _smoking?_ " Lora threw her hands up, looking to Avery for support. "It's 2024. How does someone take up smoking in this day and age?"

Nash sighed, leaning back on his chair. Avery took a seat beside him.

"Lora, listen kid. I love you. But I'm a grown man and if I want to smoke cigarettes, I have every right."

"It's a pretty dumb thing to do," Avery added in. She didn't like to take sides during these sorts of squabbles. "But Lo, c'mon. You have got to realize this isn't his first time with a smoking habit."

"Like that makes it okay?" Lora screeched out. She shook her head and turned, mumbling about spending time with the guests outside.

"You know she's just projecting. About you leaving." Avery shifted to look at Nash. "Which is usually my role."

He laughed and leaned his arms on the table, like his shoulders were heavy. "I know. I don't blame her. It's tough for me too."

Avery just nodded. She reached to her neck and pulled at the chain that was resting there, removing it over her head. She dropped it down on the table in front of her brother. Dog tags. "You should have these. I've been a bit selfish holding onto them. I know you can't wear them but.. it's like you'll have him with you in a way."

Nash let out a soft laugh but he turned and smiled. "Thanks, Ave." He brushed his fingers over the metal plates of the tag, whispering out their late brother's name. "Sometimes it still feels like he's not really gone. Like he'll call me up next week or something."

"Yeah. I get that." She tipped slightly and rested her head on his shoulder. "Be safe over there. I need you in tact for my big 25th slash 30th birthday party in the New Year."

Nash shifted and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You be safe, Avery Ray. I was talking to Sam about that building explosion in Queens and I want you to be careful. I know Bucky and Steve are going to protect you but things happen."

Avery didn't reply. She wasn't sure what her brother knew, probably nothing. But his sense of concern was a stark reminder of how dangerous the situation had been last week. "I love you, Nash. Come home in one piece, okay?"

"I love you too, Avery Ray." Nash squeezed her shoulders. "Do you think you can hunt me down an Advil?"

Avery loved her childhood home. Though it had a lot of memories tied to her mother and brother, every creaky floorboard and missing spot of paint brought a smile to her face. Just beyond the blue and white kitchen, a sliding door led to a large deck and sprawling lawn. The place looked wonderfully quaint and Avery had a feeling it was probably thanks to Suzanne.

After snacking on some food and dishing with Kasey about her new relationship status, Avery realized she had spent most of the afternoon without Steve and Bucky. She glanced across the crowds looking to see where they were, finally spotting them talking with Lou near the garage. They appeared to be in a pretty thorough discussion. Her dad was handing off a binder or notebook or something to Bucky and Steve was typing things into his phone. At the end of it, Lou was giving them each a hug.

Avery had a lot of questions about whatever that was.

It was Steve who prompted them to finally think about leaving and heading out. Avery made her rounds - getting many hugs from her sister and Allie both and giving just as many to an irritated Nash. Bucky and Steve wished her brother well overseas, making classic Army comments about the terrible food and serving their country.

Avery claimed the backseat of the Jeep for the drive back to Brooklyn, stretching out her legs and almost immediately falling asleep. The long, over-stimulating weekend was finally catching up with her. Steve drove and Bucky rode shotgun, both happily letting her crash for the ride home.

They stirred her awake about an hour later, as they were pulling up to a grocery store in a little township outside of Worcester.

Avery blinked a few times as she climbed out of the vehicle, raising her eyebrows at their location. "This seems like a weird place to stop. Shouldn't we be at the gas station across the street instead?"

"Oh, we don't need gas. We need groceries, doll," Bucky answered plainly, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

"What? Why don't we just go to the market tomorrow instead?" The more and more she thought about it, the stranger their pit stop seemed. "Also, this feels kind of out of the way from the Turnpike.." She thought about the most ideal route back to New York and she couldn't quite put her finger on why things were so off.

She glanced up at Bucky then over to Steve. They were sharing a smirk.

"What's going on?"

"Like I said, we need groceries," Bucky repeated. "For.. how many nights did we decide Stevie? Four?"

Steve tipped his head back and forth as if he was contemplating. He pointed at Bucky. "Yes, four nights at the lakehouse. Lou said he left some food there, but just basics. So we've gotta cover breakfasts and a picnic lunch at least. Maybe we'll grill some salmon and -

"We should do s'mores, I think."

"Definitely s'mores. Ave can pick out some of those seltzers she likes and -

"Wait! What?" Avery felt like her head was a pinball, glancing back and forth between the two men. "Are you serious?"

Bucky squeezed her shoulder and pulled her in for a close hug. "We thought it might be a nice little break for us. Given it's the end of summer and the weather should be great for the next few days.."

"Your dad gave us all the info and a key so.." Steve moved in closer, throwing his arm over Bucky's shoulders and looking down at Avery. "We brought you some clothes and Bea said she'd water your plants so don't worry."

"Oh my god!" Avery let out an excited yelp, eyes wide. "We're really doing this? You guys are okay to disappear for a few days with me?"

Steve nodded. "Of course, doll."

Avery pushed away and clapped her hands, practically jumping up and down. She didn't even know what to say. After the mess last week - the warehouse, the hospital, the panic attacks - and the stress of the wedding, this was the most unexpected and welcome opportunity to relax: a week at the lake with her two favourite people. She couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WHEW BOY, that was a lot but I think we are on our way to figuring things out and healing some relationships. Fun fact - when I first started plotting out and writing this story last spring, the original story arc ended with them going to the lake with Avery's family. But, things changed and that happened in the middle of the plot instead. But I wanted to give them some time there again so I decided to fit this little end of summer vacation at the lake for these three. And not to alarm you all, but there's somehow only two chapters left.
> 
> (Although spoiler alert: if anyone is interested, there will be a sequel. Because I can't let go and lockdown continues on so why not!)
> 
> Thank youuuu to everyone who has commented, subscribed, bookmarked and kudos'd along the way - I so appreciate your support and your love for little Avery Ray. 
> 
> also hey hi!! my friend EirlysLavellan has a wonderful Bucky/OC story called As The Sky May Fall and I can't recommend it enough :)
> 
> Next up: time at the lake! sleeping under the stars! thunderstorms! figuring out the future! very real daunting conversations! possibly some adult naked time! and eventually, back to the city and real life and next steps.


	29. Lakehouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: just some mild sexy times peppered into this one.

Somehow, even though they had just been at the lakehouse two months ago, pulling into the back driveway felt like coming home. The giddy smile on Avery's face hadn't disappeared since the stop at the grocery store and the surprise. She blabbed her way through their grocery shop, going on about all the plans she was creating for their week ahead. Bucky was tired just thinking about how her brain was racing but seeing her flooded with excitement was more than worth it.

Once they got to the house, Steve made sure to reference Lou's detailed guide down to the word, making certain the water tank was running properly and all the breakers were switched on. Though it was considered a secondary home for the family, it had plenty of amenities like any city home. The large windows on the far wall, framed by the pine paneling and matching beams, let in the end of day sunlight. It flooded through the great room, casting a warm air to the space.

Avery already felt a sense of peace just being inside the house. She and Bucky got to work putting away the groceries and she did her best to try and help him as he made a few flatbreads and a salad for their dinner. Her assistance was short lived though when Steve finally made his way to the kitchen area with a large book in his hands.

"I found this in the bedroom upstairs," Steve started, the corners of his lips growing into a coy smile as Avery looked down at what he deposited on the kitchen island.

Avery rolled her eyes, narrowing in on the family photo album Steve was treating like treasure. "Well, may as well crack it open since you lugged it all the way down here." With a reassuring glance from Bucky, she made her way around the island and pulled up a stool to sit beside Steve. Before he opened the album, she put her hand on the cover. "Full disclosure: I went through a very unfortunate rebellious stage as a teenager so no laughing."

Steve smirked and pressed the book open, crinkling photo pages laying flat ahead of them. Avery knew this album - it was one they collected summer pictures in. They went through slowly, with Avery describing stories behind particular photos and answering any questions the boys threw her way when they needed more context or details.

Bucky laid the food and dishes out when it was ready then he sat on Avery's other side, resting his chin on her shoulder as she pointed out some pictures. She was talking about one of her and her brother, standing on the dock flexing their arms like strongmen. She must have been about twelve.

"This is when.. Jeremy. No wait, that's Nash -

Bucky narrowed his eyes then leaned back. "That must be Jeremy."

Avery laughed. "I think I can tell my own brothers apart."

"Well, this guy has a nasty scar above his eyebrow and I've never noticed that on Nash before. And his stance is more narrow."

"Oh." Avery sighed. Why did she bother arguing with a former assassin who was an expert in reading body language? "Yeah, you're right. Jeremy pierced his eyebrow.. Must have been early this summer, actually." She looked at the timestamp. "My mom was not happy. It didn't last very long." She paused. "Anyway. This was after some summer Olympic games event our neighbours had organized. We somehow came in third place as a team. Because I am very strong, in case you didn't know."

Avery was just making a joke, of course. But the stagnant responses from her boyfriends were pretty clear. Bucky cleared his throat. "Let's eat."

Avery insisted they eat on the deck, arguing the need to capitalize on the warm weather and fresh air. It was so refreshing to just sit and eat and laugh. By the time the evening grew dark, they were still sitting outside.

Avery suggested going swimming. "It's my own personal tradition. Well, Lo is in on it, too. But we always get in the lake on the first night we're here. So what do you say? Please tell me you packed something to swim in, Buck."

"I mean, if we're the only ones here, do we have to wear anything if we're swimming?" Bucky raised an eyebrow, standing and grabbing the dishes from the table. Avery groaned, following him inside with Steve. They moved upstairs and into the first bedroom, which Avery decided was theirs for the week, mainly due to the fact that the other upstairs bedroom in the loft was where her parents always slept.

And she vowed to never have sex in _that_ bed.

Both rooms were plainly decorated with a queen bed, a pine dresser and a large window over the headboard. It wasn't much but really, it was just a place for them to sleep.

Avery crouched down and started to search through the duffel bag they had packed for her. There were a few shirts, some shorts, a sports bra, a floral dress she wore a lot, leggings, sweatpants. A laugh escaped her when she pulled out a swimsuit. "Seriously?" She turned to look over her shoulder, catching both Bucky and Steve half dressed. "You picked this one?"

The star-spangled bikini she wore on the July 4th weekend was hanging from her hand.

"Steve grabbed it," Bucky said with a smirk, earning an elbow in the side from Steve who was muttering some defensive answer.

"I just think you looked so great in it," Steve finally admitted, though his cheeks seemed a bit pink. Bucky nodded in agreement, eliciting a friendly eye roll from Avery.

Soon enough, they were down at the lake. The warm night air breezed against exposed skin and messy hair while the moon shone brightly overhead. The minute her feet hit the dock, Avery was sprinting. Suddenly, the past week did not matter. Her bruises and foggy memories and tired eyes disappeared as the pads of her feet slapped against the wood. With her eyes closed tightly, she leapt into the water.

When she broke through the surface, she let her lungs fill with air and for a moment, she thought tears were going to fall from her eyes. She was overwhelmed - but in a way that she couldn't really describe out loud.

While Steve jumped in after her, Bucky sat at the end of the dock, dipping his feet into the water. That was enough for him really - the water sent a comfortable chill through him and he would be content to just watch Steve and Avery. Her laughter echoed across the lake as Steve dove at her, strong arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her in close to his chest. She leaned in to press a kiss against him but he was quick to shift his arms, tossing her into the water with a splash.

Now Steve and Bucky's laughter seemed to fill the air. Avery wanted to be annoyed with Steve's shenanigans, but when she swam back towards him, she let out a happy sigh. She used to think being in love was like drowning but now she realized it was really just like coming up for air.

* * *

There was something beautiful about falling asleep at the lakehouse. Surrounded by the sounds of nature - owls in the distance, gently crackling branches in the nearby forest - and the warm gentle breeze of August, it was like a natural lullaby. Steve rolled out of bed early the next morning, hungry for a run before the heat of the day caught up to them. With a curious smirk, he asked if anyone wanted to join him.

Bucky replied with a definitive grunt that meant _no_.

Avery lifted her head off the pillow and gave Steve a friendly glare. "Steve, if I ever agree to a morning run, there is something seriously wrong with me."

Following Steve's disappearance from the bed, Avery turned and cuddled up with Bucky. She rested her chest against his back, arm draped over his chest. A happy hum escaped him, tangling her hand in his. Between the heat of his body and the steady pace of his breath, Avery was lulled back to sleep. She wasn't sure how long she slept but when she woke again there was a strange tingling feeling in her right wrist. She pulled away from him and sat up holding her arm out in front of her.

Bucky stirred as she did, pushing himself up on his elbows. He blinked a few times, bringing Avery into focus. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she replied quietly, staring down as her wrist began to shake. "Maybe I pinched a nerve or something."

"Hmmm." Bucky reached out, stilling her wrist as he grabbed it gently. "Does it hurt?"

Avery shook her head. "Strange." She stretched out her fingers a few times and the shaking seemed to stop. She pouted for a brief moment then with a giggle, pushed forward to lay her body across Bucky's.

He chuckled and hugged her close as his head fell back onto the pillows. "Should we get up and take care of breakfast?"

Avery hummed, pausing to contemplate. Slowly, she trailed her hand down Bucky's chest towards the waistband of his boxers. "We could take care of something else first?"

Steve supposed he didn't _need_ to go for a run while they were on vacation. This was supposed to be a break for all of them, not just Avery. He always had a hard time letting himself relax. It was Bucky who had the strenuous job now. It was Avery who had gone through a very stressful couple of weeks.

Truthfully, though he had a hard time admitting it, he had a nagging worry in the pit of his stomach. An early morning run kept it mostly at bay but the concerning thoughts continued creeping in.

Something had changed in Avery physically. Maybe it wouldn't last forever but if this unknown substance could cause this in someone after a minor experiment, his thoughts continued to fall back onto his own experiment. And what happened to Bucky, too. If this chemical warfare was being developed again and could be harnessed and synthesized by the wrong people, there could be frightening consequences. There was some peace of mind knowing most of Osborn's research was hopefully destroyed in the fire but that didn't guarantee the data wouldn't get into the wrong hands.

Pushing his doubts far back into his mind, Steve pressed on. The watch on his wrist beeped, indicating his distance goal was met. Ten easy breezy miles clocked before breakfast. Admittedly, as he circled back to the driveway of the house, his mind did feel a bit more clear.

Pulling open the screen door at the back of the house, Steve wasn't surprised to see the kitchen empty. He figured the other two would still be lazing in bed. After grabbing some water, he paused to listen and heard something even less surprising. The familiar sound of Avery's voice calling out breathlessly for Bucky filled Steve's ears as he headed up the stairs. A coy smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. By the time he reached the bedroom door, Steve had peeled off his shirt and decided to lean against the door frame to watch.

Avery was on her back naked, arms stretched above her head gripping into the wooden slats of the headboard. Bucky pulled away from suctioning to her chest, hands gripping her hips tightly as he moved his own hips against her. He looked over his shoulder towards the door, shooting a grin at Steve.

"My preferred morning cardio," Bucky said, slowing down and turning to look back towards their girlfriend.

"Yeah, yeah." Steve rolled his eyes, taking a few steps into the room for a better view. His tongue skated across his lips, leaning one knee onto the bed. His hand brushed through Avery's hair, ending up cradling her cheek. She leaned in and glanced up with a smile.

"S'close," Avery whispered, arching her back upwards to chase her climax. "Buck.. please."

Bucky responded with a growly laugh. "Don't let go." He pulled her hips up just enough for a better angle, nodding approvingly as she gripped the headboard. Between his increased pace and Steve's hands and lips, she reached her peak quickly.

The orgasm pulsed through every inch of her and before she could even realize what was happening, a loud cracking noise sounded out above her. Bucky's climax followed hers without control and by the time he caught his breath, he saw that Steve's jaw was dropped open in shock. Avery's eyes were blown wide, craning her neck to look up at the headboard.

She had cracked the wood slats in her fists, splintered pieces of wood on display dropping from her hands onto the pillow. "What the…"

Bucky huffed out a laugh, a smug grin smiling on his face. Why did he feel a strange sense of pride? "Well, that's never happened before."

* * *

Avery popped a strawberry into her mouth, tilting her head and glancing between Bucky and Steve. "So you think I have super strength?"

Steve sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against the kitchen counter. "Something like that." His eyes flicked to Bucky, who was occupying the stool beside Avery and finishing his bowl of cereal. Bucky made a noise that indicated he agreed with Steve, mouth full of Fruity Pebbles.

Avery tapped her fingers against the top of the island, letting out a long exhale. "Doesn't that seem fantastical? Like it can't be a real theory."

"Avery, you just broke that headboard without even realizing it. That was solid oak."

Bucky swallowed his last bite of cereal and shifted on the stool. "As much as I'd like to take credit for you havin' some out of body experience while we had sex.. this isn't the first strange bout of strength over the last week, is it?"

Avery pursed her lips. She did rip a door off its hinges at the spa. And smash that wine glass in her fist. "No, I guess not. But.. what does this mean?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm not sure. The notes from Osborn said that inhalant increased strength, agility, stamina, speed. I'm not sure if all those things changed or maybe it has just affected your muscle structure."

Avery picked at her bowl of fruit and yogurt, smirking. "Well, I'm not sure my stamina has gotten any better. Though, I could have kept going this morning. Steve didn't even get to.."

"That's fine," Steve jumped in, pushing off the counter and leaning over to grab one of the berries from her bowl.

"I like things to be fair and equal," Avery said honestly, smiling at Steve.

"You just like getting yours twice, doll." Bucky pinched at her waist, though he was quickly swatted away.

"Wait. Is this why you asked me to go for a run this morning?" Avery raised an eyebrow at Steve. "To see if I could keep up? You tried to use _running_ as a test? That's so cruel."

Steve laughed and motioned toward the door. "C'mon, let's go experiment outside."

Avery trusted Steve and Bucky more than anything in the world. That didn't stop her from feeling suddenly very nervous by the time they got down to the lawn. She paced in circles, relishing in the damp grass under her toes.

Maybe she could go change. She wasn't sure if ripped denim shorts and a tank top were appropriate training clothes. If that's what this was. No, it wasn't training. It was testing or something. Trial and error. A guessing game to see if she really was increasing in strength or if maybe these were all weird flukes.

She stilled and watched Bucky and Steve as they stood a few feet away, trying to make some sort of plan. Steve was donning a plain white t-shirt with his khaki shorts, paired with a Yankees cap on his head. Bucky, meanwhile, tried to lean into his summer wardrobe once more. He swapped his tactical pants for shorts and had pulled on a plaid button up, though he left it open with nothing underneath.

Avery bit her lip as she watched them think, taking a serious mental photograph of the moment. They looked so casual and relaxed, even if they were plotting some ridiculous thing to put Avery to the test.

When they finally turned to her, she bounced on her feet a few times, stretching out her hands and arms like a boxer waiting to fight. "Okay, what's first?"

Bucky reached into his shirt pocket and slid on a pair of sunglasses. "I dunno. Think you can lift Steve?"

Avery tilted her head with a curious smile, glancing at Steve. "How much do you weigh?"

"About 240?" Bucky answered, crossing his arms.

"No," Steve scoffed. "I'm a lean 220."

Bucky shook his head with a laugh. "Maybe Captain America used to be _a lean 220_ but I've seen that bag of MnM's in your desk drawer. Super soldier serum or not, your metabolism has slowed down."

"You know what, Buck.." Steve sent him a playful glare then turned to Avery, pausing to turn his hat around. "It's a good place to start, Ave."

Now probably _wasn't_ the time to tell Steve how hot he looked in a backwards baseball hat so Avery bit her tongue. "Okay."

It still seemed like an absolutely crazy idea to her but she took in a deep breath and closed in the space between herself and Steve, wrapping her arms around his waist and, then, well, she just tried to lift him.

And she did. Sure, maybe it was just like half an inch off the ground but without even a second thought, Steve wrapped his arm over her shoulders once he was off the ground, swinging his legs up to have Avery catch him in a bridal carry.

When Avery finally clued into what was happening - she was _carrying Steve in her arms_ \- she let out a startled yell and dropped him. "Holy shit. Oh my god, I'm so sorry for dropping you."

Steve landed with a soft thunk and laid out on the ground, laughing. "Okay, I think we're getting somewhere."

They spent the morning putting Avery through the paces. Steve's first goal was to narrow down if this was just an increase in strength or if any of those other skills had started to develop in her too.

Steve made her run half a mile against Bucky. She lost.. by a lot. Although Avery was relieved to find out her lungs seemed to be working properly again. They ran through some of the basic hand-to-hand combat she had previously learned and soon realized that no, she really didn't gain any increase in stamina or agility. Though Bucky did conclude that the impact she was making on him with each punch, strike, and kick, seemed to be impactful. He could feel it all - she was definitely a lot stronger than she used to be.

Avery asked if she could try and lift the Jeep.

Bucky just laughed. "Ave, I don't think you have Hulk like abilities. Steve and I don't really just go around bench pressing cars every day."

"So, what now?" Avery was feeling pretty exhausted by the time the afternoon rolled around. She dragged the boys down to the dock, where she sprawled out on her back with her arm resting over her eyes. "You're not going to try and recruit me, are you?"

Steve and Bucky replied at the same time. "No." They sat down with her, Bucky hanging his feet in the water again while Steve sat with his legs stretched out, leaning back on his hands.

"We don't know if this is just a temporary thing or what it might actually be doing to your muscle composition," Steve said slowly, shrugging his shoulders. "Until we can figure that out, I think your day to day life shouldn't change. Though you might need to work on actually controlling your strength before you break any more furniture."

Avery reached out and swatted at him. "Ha ha."

Bucky kicked up some water with his feet and sighed. "How about we go out on the boat for the afternoon? Pack a lunch and find somewhere to swim?"

Avery sat up to look at him. "Did Lou give us permission to use the boat?"

Steve laughed. "Yes, actually. He trusts us apparently."

"I think your dad is smart enough to know we'd figure out how to start the boat with or without his keys." Bucky shot a glance towards Steve and they smirked.

"Lots of experience hotwiring cars, Cap?" Avery teased, standing up and stretching out her arms.

"Sometimes things need to be borrowed."

Bucky stood up, extending a hand to help Steve stand, too. "C'mon. A picnic on the lake sounds nice, doesn't it?"

Bucky packed a big spread of lunch in a cooler, with fruit and sandwiches and snacks. Avery grabbed the towels, water bottles, and sunscreen while Steve took care of going over Lou's instructions for the pontoon.

The sun was bright above them and the water seemed to sparkle beneath the boat, as they slowly travelled around the lake. They cut the engine in the middle somewhere and it felt like they were the only people left in the world. This moment, in the middle of the lake without a real care or worry, was a balm on Avery's healing soul.

She laid out on one of the benches at the front of the boat, basking in the warm heat of the sun's rays. To her side, Steve and Bucky weren't doing much - carrying on a lazy discussion and tossing grapes at one another, mostly. They spent the afternoon laughing and snacking and swimming.

It was likely a combination of the excess sun paired with her extraneous morning of activities that sucked all the energy out of Avery. When they returned to the house, hiding inside from the leftover heat of the afternoon made the most sense and she promptly fell asleep on one of the couches in the open living room.

Stirring awake a little while later, Avery smiled and brushed her hand across the knit blanket that had been laid upon her. The room was half illuminated by the setting sun but still cast a warm glow through the windows. She glanced across the room and found Steve and Bucky having likely also accidentally fallen asleep. Steve was halfway sitting on one corner of the couch while Bucky leaned up against him, head on his chest.

Avery felt a wonderful warmth rush over her as she looked at them. Carefully, she extended her hand towards the coffee table to grab her phone, desperately wanting to capture their moment. After snapping a picture, she noticed one of Steve's eyes open up. Caught.

She raised her eyebrows at him with a smile and he motioned his head slightly. She stood up and hurried over, not so gently finding a place to rest beside Bucky.

He laughed and adjusted his arms, pulling her against his chest. "S'pose naptime is over."

Steve reached over and brushed his hand through Avery's sundried hair. "Hungry?"

Bucky grumbled out a yes, though he made no effort to move. Instead, he nuzzled further against Avery.

"I'm starving," she responded. "Though I did just get to this cuddle party so I don't think it's over yet."

A quiet laugh came from Steve. "Okay. Dinner can wait then."

They ate dinner at the dining table inside, still a bit tuckered out from the heat outside and reveling in the cool air flowing through the house. Avery was picking at her salmon, glancing between Bucky and Steve.

Bucky had his arm extended over Steve's chair, leaning to glance over his shoulder. Steve had his elbows resting on the table, holding Avery's phone in his hand, using his thumb to scroll down her screen.

"Sweetheart, you have nearly a dozen acceptance letters sitting here."

"You don't know that! It used to be easier - an acceptance offer was a full package in the mail. A _rejection_ letter was one single white standard envelope. An email could be anything!" She dropped her fork and sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm sure they are all polite rejection emails, laughing at me for even applying."

Bucky scoffed. "Wish you wouldn't doubt yourself, Ave."

"Would it help if we just read through them and delivered the news instead?" Steve flicked his gaze up towards her. "There will be no laughing, I promise."

Avery took in a deep breath, filling her cheeks then slowly deflating. "Okay. This is probably the best way to soften the blow. Go ahead."

It had been nearly a month since Avery had applied to a range of graduate and Masters programs. It had been a long time since she had been a student - well, it felt like only about two years but really her graduation day from Columbia had been a long time ago, all things considered. A Bachelor's degree in Biochemistry had always been the first part of the plan. But now? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to get her hopes up.

After wasting so much time behind that desk at Simonarc, she knew she could do more, _be more._ She used to have dreams and ideas and she had done her best to try and apply that passion into her applications. A lot of programs had special opportunities for people who had vanished - helping make up for lost time. And maybe Avery deserved that second chance - because she was smart and had to _do more._ She had to.

Steve and Bucky remained focused on her phone, slowly clicking through emails and murmuring to each other. Avery tried to stay calm as they read through all the information.

"Okay, let's see. You didn't get into Rensselaer.. Nuclear Engineering? Really?" Bucky shifted to look over at her, smirking.

"That was a throwaway," Avery responded with a shrug.

"But every other email here.. NYU, New York Institute of Technology, Brooklyn College - these are emails with offers of admission, Ave. All of them." Steve was beaming when he looked up at her, laughing at the shock on her face.

"Are you serious?" She wasn't sure her eyes could grow any wider. There was no way Steve would be pulling her leg about such a thing but she was suddenly overwhelmed with joy, though it was soon followed by a rush of uncertainty.

Steve just handed her back the phone and she started going through the emails. Bucky nudged his arm and they both just watched her with matching proud smiles on their faces.

"I can't believe it!" Avery eventually looked up and caught their stares as her cheeks flushed pink. "I'm just.. really excited."

"We can see that," Bucky said with a coy smirk, standing and grabbing some of the dishes. He paused to kiss her head. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, doll. We're proud of you."

Avery nearly melted. She took a deep breath and composed herself, reaching to the far end of the table to grab a pen and notepad. Steve stood the same and moved to sit on the other side of the table with her, looking over her shoulder as she started writing notes.

"It's all well and good that I got into the program I really wanted at NYU," Avery started quietly, answering the questions before he asked.

_Masters of Environmental Technology and Sustainability._ Avery had stumbled across the program by accident, even. But it was what inspired her to actually apply. The challenges being faced by climate change, water resource struggles, and creating sustainable technology weren't new things. In fact, science had come a long way but there was still plenty of work to be done. It felt like something that could actually make a difference, too. That was why she went into Biochemistry in the first place, though the last year and a half of her life had really extinguished her motivation to try and contribute to a world she was getting used to once more.

Maybe Avery could find a purpose again.

"I have no idea how I'll be able to afford it. I think I missed the deadline to apply for scholarships and even though my student loans disappeared when I vanished, I have no idea if I could qualify this late." She continued to write her rough budget, her excited celebrations soon forgotten. She turned her head. "Hey Buck - how much will my part of the rent be in your apartment?"

Bucky paused from washing the dishes and looked over his shoulder. "What's half of zero dollars?"

"Seriously?" Avery quirked an eyebrow.

Bucky simply shrugged. "Perks of having a close relationship with Stark Industries and the foundation, doll. Free rent."

Steve put his hand on Avery's to stop her from frantically writing. "We'll help you figure it out, Ave. Don't stress over it right now - you should still be celebrating. Why don't we go chop some wood and get ready for a campfire while Bucky cleans up?"

* * *

They sat out by the fire for hours. Avery expertly roasted marshmallows, enjoying the crackling sounds of the fire and the ambient noises of the surrounding forest. This place had truly become a sanctuary for them, a safe escape, and she was already dreading their later return to reality.

As the wood burned down and the fire pit filled with glowing embers, she wrapped herself up in the scratchy blanket encasing her and tipped her head up to look towards the sky. It was scattered with stars - bright and soft, designing the universe above them.

Bucky and Steve were exchanging some old stories about the war - something about long cold nights and eating over a slow burning fire and sleeping close to keep warm. Avery pulled her legs up and let her mind wander towards the sky.

"Are we boring you with stories, doll?" Bucky grabbed her attention, earning a small smile in response.

"Oh, no. I learned to filter out uninteresting army related stories a long time ago anyway. You two don't bore me. Just thinking." She glanced between him and Steve, who had a faint smile on his face. Even in the glow of the fire, Avery could see the crinkles around his eyes.

"Thinking about…?" Steve asked.

Avery chewed on her lip for a moment then looked up again. "Thinking about where I would be right now if I hadn't been snapped out of existence for five years. If no one had disappeared at all."

She heard them both shift slightly in their seats but neither responded. It wasn't a particularly _light_ thing to ruminate over.

"I think I would be a divorced med school drop-out. I'd have probably moved back home to live with my dad when my mom died. I just.. I never would have met either of you. I know it's kind of a waste of energy to think this way but for a long time, I was so angry and all I could think about were these _what ifs and_ the road less travelled and.." Avery's words disappeared into the sky like the twirling tail of smoke coming from the fire.

Her intention hadn't been to cause such a significant change in the mood.

After a few more beats, Steve stopped poking at the fire and let out a long exhale. "If we had won that day.." He shook his head. "I'd like to think I would have retired. Full stop. But considering I was technically still a wanted criminal, I'm sure I would have just grabbed Bucky and continued to run. Maybe we would have worked out a deal and found our way back to Brooklyn eventually."

Bucky scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "I'd probably be locked up at The Raft for the rest of my life."

"No, you wouldn't." Steve countered, eyes narrowed at Bucky across the fire. "I would have done the exact same thing and fought the government for a pardon. Or you'd be hiding out in Wakanda until I figured it out." His voice was steady.

Avery watched as Bucky tensed for a moment, like he was going to argue, then his body relaxed. She couldn't help but grin. "Bucky, Steve loves you so much. It's kind of gross."

Steve rolled his eyes and Avery couldn't be certain, but if she had to guess, he was blushing. "Maybe in this other version of our lives, where things might have gone differently during that battle.. Maybe we would have still found each other, Ave."

Her eyes found the stars once more. "Maybe you're right."

"I can picture it perfectly," Bucky started. Avery didn't have to look to know he was smirking. "We'd be on the subway headin' uptown and this awkward, sassy college student would be yelling at someone for being a pickpocket or somethin' then Stevie would try to intervene and Ave would insist she doesn't need his help and then she'd finally look over at me and she'd fall head over heels."

"There's millions of people in the city and you think we'd just fall into place like that?" Avery leaned forward in her chair, tilting her head as she looked at Bucky.

He grinned. "I know we would." With a small tip of his jaw, he reached out for her hand and tugged her from the seat. She gave in and immediately moved to sit sideways on his lap, pulling the blanket over top of them both.

"There's this old philosophy about how some souls are tied together with an invisible string," Steve said as he quietly pushed at the red coals. "I think us three are tangled together now. In any universe or lifetime."

Avery just smiled, joining hands with Bucky as he cradled her back. "You two are very certain about this."

Bucky pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "You still upset? About the _what ifs_ and disappearing and this life you have now?"

Steve smiled. "The road you did have to travel?"

Avery shook her head, letting out a happy hum as she leaned into Bucky. "No. I'm not angry anymore." And she knew, deep down in the trenches of her heart, that was true.

* * *

Tuesday morning was slow. Avery woke up flat on her back, head resting in the crook of Bucky's shoulder with Steve hugging her torso. His head was like a comforting weight of pressure on her chest. With a subtle adjustment, she pulled the blankets a little tighter and started running her fingers through Steve's hair.

There was something especially powerful about making _Captain America_ hum out in contentment just with the stroke of her hand.

Steve really was the biggest puppy. Easy to tame with some affectionate scratches and body heat. He liked just being present and making physical contact. Bucky, on the other hand, reminded Avery more of a big cat. Maybe a mountain lion - quiet, pensive and loyal. But deep down, soft hearted and protective and playful. Happy to just be nearby, happily coexisting.

Steve shifted slightly, looking up towards Avery. His eyes stretched open slowly. "Hi."

"Morning," Avery replied quietly, tipping down to kiss his forehead. "I hope I've been an adequate pillow for you."

"Sorry, I can move if-

Avery just giggled, holding onto him a bit tighter. "No, I like this exact spot."

Bucky murmured quietly on her other side, trying to stretch out. "I don't. I can't feel my arm."

Avery laughed again. Soon, she was sitting up against the (still broken) headboard with Bucky, while Steve remained horizontal with his head on Avery's lap.

"Overcast today," Avery commented quietly, looking through the open bedroom door towards the large windows in the great room. The sky was washed with muted grey clouds. "It's probably going to rain later."

"Sounds like we should stay in bed then," Steve said, tightening his hold on Avery's waist.

"Or we could go for a hike," she suggested, running her hands across the bare skin of Steve's back.

"I like the sound of that," Bucky added in.

Just a few minutes down the road from the driveway, Avery directed them towards a small trailhead that led into the forest. Though she was certain she knew the trail off by heart, Steve still scavenged Lou's garage area for a first aid kit, a compass and an emergency flare - just in case. Turns out it is impossible to separate Steve from being a soldier and counting on his preparedness.

Despite the grey sky, it was still sticky and warm. The large trees provided plenty of fresh air and shade as they climbed along, trading stories and sometimes moving in silence. It was peaceful.

They followed the trail, which was mostly flat terrain with an occasional rock cut to scale, at a gradual pace. As they moved in elevation, Avery paused near a swath of trees to guide them towards a much more grown in path.

She noticed the boys' shared hesitant faces and assured them she knew where she was going. Bucky made a quiet comment thanking Steve for grabbing the compass. As they climbed through some overgrown trees and scaled a rather daunting rock formation - which Avery definitely used to struggle to climb - they came upon a small clearing. As they moved farther in, Avery led them to the right and stopped before the edge, slowly waving her arms outwards.

Ahead and below them was a large valley of trees, stretching out and disappearing into the far fog and clouds. It was an all encompassing, breathtaking view, filled with the sounds of chirping birds and the echo of breaking tree branches. The edge sloped slowly, eventually coming to a hard angle and dropping towards more rock cuts below. From a distance, it was plenty safe and plenty beautiful.

"Rumour has it this is where my dad proposed." Avery twirled on the spot.

"Rumour?" Steve asked, shrugging out of the backpack.

"My mom always claimed it wasn't a real proposal. Lou basically just said 'we should get married' and called it a day. I guess she wanted more pomp." Avery reached down and grabbed for a particularly smooth stone, tossing it into the vast cavern of trees below.

"You don't talk about her much, your mom.." It was more commentary than anything else but from his seated position on the rocks, Bucky titled his head up towards Avery with a comforting smile.

She sighed and sat down beside him, pulling her legs up and resting her chin on her knees as she looked out. Steve joined her on the other side, offering a bottle of water. "Hurts still. More than I care to admit or face, if I'm being completely honest. Sometimes it's easier to sort of pretend like it never happened. I just hate that I didn't get to say goodbye to her and I hate thinking that she didn't get to say it to me, either."

Bucky huffed quietly. "If it's any comfort at all, consider I feel the same way about my ma."

It all unfolded so organically between the three of them - a honest, raw conversation about loss. Stories spilled from Steve's mouth about _his_ mother, Sarah, and how she lost her life so quickly - doing what she was so passionate about: working as a nurse and helping others. Bucky spoke candidly and beautifully about his mother, Winnifred, and the love that poured out of her. Avery talked about her mom, Marie, and her _take-no-shit_ attitude that paired poorly with her inability to keep a straight face when she was angry. They took turns asking questions and making silent prayers for the women they would never get to see again.

There was something really cathartic about letting the words go and quietly crying together in the silence of the forest.

Steve spoke up eventually. "For the record, my ma would have loved you, Ave. And Mrs. Barnes would really appreciate you putting up with Buck." He leaned over and knocked her shoulder with his, getting a laugh out of her. Bucky agreed.

Avery relaxed, stretching out her arms to try and extend them over both Steve and Bucky. "Marie would have welcomed you both in, with kisses on your cheeks. Though she would question my sanity committing to two _soldiers_ of all people."

"I think everyone in this relationship is equally sane."

A gravelly laugh escaped Bucky's mouth. "That's not saying very much, Stevie."

They sat there a little while longer, enjoying the serenity. The sky started to rumble above them soon after and they exchanged concerned glances. Avery frowned.

"I hoped the rain wouldn't start until later this afternoon," she said, accepting Bucky's extended hand so she could get back on her feet. "There's a shortcut I remember if we go around the crest of this rock cut. It's a bit tight at the end but saves some time." She pointed ahead, a bit past where they had climbed up.

Steve and Bucky followed her lead, silently agreeing that a shorter route would probably be for the best to avoid the heavy clouds rolling in. The rain didn't hold off but luckily it had started off very slowly. Avery was glad she had opted for a pair of running shoes instead of sandals but as they climbed along the path, she realized any footwear didn't pair well with new slippery patches of rock.

Steve was following closely behind her. He didn't think twice about the terrain of the trail on their hike up but now, as they made their way through such a narrow path - not very far away from a series of steep shale covered slopes and fallen trees - he was starting to doubt the safety of their path. He trusted Avery's instinct and familiarity with the space but he _didn't_ trust the weather or the stability of the brush under foot.

"I think we're almost back at the main trail," Avery said with a smile, looking over her shoulder towards the two soldiers matching her pace.

"Good. It won't be long until a downpour," Bucky called from the back.

When Avery turned back towards the trail, it was Steve who first noticed her incorrect footing. It felt like his heart fell out of his chest when he saw her slip. And when her balance disappeared completely, arms suddenly stretched out to grab at anything to keep her from falling, it felt like he couldn't breathe.

It was as if her feet had failed her and gravity suddenly won. She was propelled closer to the cliff side, screaming out as another crack of thunder sounded out overhead.

Steve was quick enough, of course, shouting out her name and successfully catching her by the left wrist before she tumbled down the side of the slope. The entire thing happened in seconds. He could feel his heart pounding out of his chest. Bucky's hand clamped onto Steve's shoulder, a hopeful attempt at keeping him grounded as Steve helped Avery back onto the path.

"Holy shit," she gasped, clutching a hand over her chest. "I think you just saved my life, Steve."

That simple thread of words sat heavy on Steve's chest.

They slowly and carefully made their way around the rest of the narrow path and found themselves back on their original trail, but a lot closer towards the road than they had been before. The rain fell hard once they found the road, which cut their small talk to a minimum as they hurried back to the house.

Bucky and Avery ran towards the house once it was in sight, hurrying to the covered porch and finally a break from the downpour. Steve, meanwhile, made a quick escape to the garage instead.

Bucky grabbed Avery's hand once they were safe from the rain, glancing from her then back towards the garage. "Avery baby, I need you to do something."

Avery's head jolted to meet his gaze, taken aback by the weary tone of his voice. "What?"

"Steve.." Bucky chewed on his lip and took a deep breath. "We almost.. He nearly had to.. When you slipped on that path, I'm willing to bet his mind went somewhere else and despite his preferred method of talkin' about our feelings, he's choosing to face whatever this feels like on his own."

It took Avery a few seconds to figure out what Bucky was saying. Then it hit her like a punch to the gut. While she saw that brief moment as Steve keeping her from a tumble down the side of that cliff slope, Steve might have instead been taken back to when he first lost Bucky.

The circumstances had been very different but the similarities were enough.

She nodded. "Maybe we should both talk to him?"

Bucky let out a long sigh. "I think he might just need you for this one, doll. A reminder that you're okay, you know?" He pulled her into his arms, her wet torso hitting his quickly. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, moving a hand to cradle her cheek.

Avery dashed down the stairs, through the continuous sheets of rain and approached the side door to the garage. She pushed her way in, stepping onto the concrete floor with a slap of her feet. The rain reverberated softly on the roof.

Steve had dropped the damp backpack on one of the work benches near the back of the space. He stood behind the table, hands flat on the surface as he leaned forward with his head turned down. He hadn't switched the lights on, leaving the space feeling especially grey and dim.

She moved in deliberate soft steps, weaving between some old bikes and a cloth covered quad. She planted her hand on one of his when she got to the table. "Hi."

Steve's hand shifted and quickly tangled his fingers with hers.

"Steve, I'm okay. I'm right here and perfectly safe. I'm okay."

"I know." His words were hardly audible. "It's so… silly. My mind it just.. It was just a quick flash and all I could picture was you in a free fall, just like.." He swallowed the rest of his sentence. Avery tugged on his hand, pulling him away from the workbench enough to slot herself in front of him. Steve showing vulnerability was still new to her. "You were laid up in a hospital bed a week ago and that was hard enough."

"It's going to take a lot more than one slippery rock on a mountain or some stupid villainous rich boy to take me down."

A quiet laugh rumbled through Steve's chest and Avery relaxed into him, happily accepting his arms around her shoulders. "I was alone for a long time, Ave. I had friends, people to spend time with.. Sure. But I didn't have anyone, not really. I just got Bucky back and then he vanished, I never wanted to feel that way again. Now, since you've managed to tangle yourself into my life - _into our life_ \- it's twice the fear. Twice the worry. Twice the risk of losing someone I love. And that's.."

"Scary. It's terrifying, really." Avery finished his thought. "You know, we aren't assigned roles in this relationship. You don't have to be the strong one all the time. You don't have to hide away when you're feeling like this. I mean, you deserve your privacy and time to think, of course. But you don't have to do that stoic, guarded, tough guy thing. Not all the time."

Steve laughed once more and Avery was relieved to feel his body relax against her. "I know."

"But you like to protect us. Take care of us. Save us, even." Avery pulled back to look up at him. "You've gotta let _me_ take care of you sometimes, too."

"I guess that's fair," Steve conceded with a smirk, taking another long breath in and out. "I will try to be agreeable to that."

Avery laughed, stretching upwards to grab his face. "Thank you." She kissed him hard, letting her hands move from his cheeks to running through his hair, tugging gently as a quiet moan left his mouth. "I love you, Stevie."

"And I love you, sweetheart," Steve replied, his voice raspy and low. His hands gripped her hips, lifting her up to sit on the table in front of him. His mouth returned to hers immediately, lips devouring her like it was a life or death mission. She tasted like rain and the forest and abundance.

She whined when Steve's mouth parted from her own, hands reaching for the hem of her shirt while she pushed away his wet shirt. "We've gotta get out of these wet clothes.."

Never in a million years would Avery consider the _garage_ an appropriate place to have sex but there was something unusually romantic about the rain beating down above them, the water dripping from their bodies and the darkened thrill of a mystery location. She just needed so badly to be near him, to feel him. And he seemed to have the same unrelenting desire.

When she had wiggled out of her shorts and underwear, Steve picked her up. He kissed her again and again and again, finding a wall to lean up against near the back door of the garage. He pressed her against it, hooking her legs secure around his waist while he pushed down his shorts and boxers.

"Please, Stevie.." Avery whimpered as he entered her, hands braced on his shoulders.

Steve leaned in as close as he possibly could, his head resting on the crook of her neck and shoulder. He moved in and out of her with a steady force, as if he was desperate to claim her. To remind her they were parts of each other, now and always, in a way he couldn't really describe. There was little exchanging of words - just a shared intimacy that seemed to be exactly what they each needed. Avery reveled in having his skin against hers - wet from the rain, and his body heat acting as a familiar protective warmth. It was an all encompassing feeling she wished she could bottle up and savour for the rest of her life.

Steve's breath was hot against her neck as he chased a release, repeating her name and praises of love like a mantra. She felt safe in his strong arms, calling out as his pace pushed her over the edge. She collapsed into him as he pressed her against the wall during his own climax, peppering gentle kisses against any inch of her skin he could reach.

"Thank you," Avery whispered out with a grin. "For saving me. For taking care of me. For loving me."

Steve pulled back, anchoring her with one arm and using his free hand to brush away a mess of wet hair from her forehead. They kissed, softly and slowly. He didn't need to say it out loud but Avery could hear his response, she could feel it wash over her: _thank you for loving me, too._

* * *

After showering and finding dry clothes, Bucky, Steve and Avery spent the rest of the afternoon playing cards and board games in the living room. The rain continued on steadily outside. Avery was a touch disappointed in the change of weather but she had to admit there was a certain unmatched calm that came with the sound of the rainfall outside.

Steve took charge on making dinner, with Avery acting as his kitchen helper. Bucky stretched out on the couch, working his way through a stack of old National Geographic magazines that had been collected over the years. She hooked up her phone to a speaker across the room, finding a playlist of oldies for her boys as they prepared their meal.

Following their moment in the garage, Avery still felt a desire to be near Steve. Though he seemed to have recovered from his display of vulnerability, bumping shoulders with him and sharing space in the kitchen kept him close by.

It was so very domestic. Avery paused and closed her eyes. It felt like _possibility._

The rain continued on well after dinner. Avery made the executive decision that they were to have a movie night - which involved safely dragging snacks and warm blankets down to the bunk house where an old VHS player was attached to a TV. Off to the side of the kitchenette, before the bedrooms, was the old cramped living room.

It housed very dated furniture - including a surprisingly comfortable oversized sofa - and very dusty carpets. But, they set up their little movie watching camp none-the-less. Avery dug through an old decorative trunk, pulling out VHS tapes and presenting their options to Bucky and Steve.

"One of my favourite memories as a kid involved watching _Back to the Future_ with the whole family squeezed in here, so if you two haven't seen it, that's what I recommend. A classic 80s flick - it's got comedy, action, sci-fi and some weird romance."

Bucky had planted himself on the corner of the couch, looking over a few of the movie options Avery had laid out on the coffee table. "I'm good with whatever you want to pick, doll."

Steve was flipping over a copy of Jurassic Park in his hands. He stretched out beside Bucky, putting the movie down. "I'm with Buck. Your choice sounds good, Ave." He didn't recognize the movie name she had mentioned, though he was still playing catch up on a lot of classics.

Avery grinned and set up the movie, relieved to see that even years ago someone had the forethought to rewind the movie. After pressing play, she took up the last spot on the couch, stretching her legs out onto Steve's lap as he leaned up against Bucky.

They both seemed pretty amused by most of the movie, peppering in commentary and asking questions. By the time the credits rolled, Avery was opening her third or fourth can of hard seltzer and was asking for their opinions and baiting them with the option of watching the second movie. "It's funny to see what they thought 2015 might look like!" She moved to stop the VCR and turned to sit crossed legged on the floor, looking up at them.

Steve adjusted on the couch, stretching his arms out. "I liked it. I don't know how accurate the science is but I see the appeal. It's right up your alley, Buck." He reached over and squeezed Bucky's knee.

"Well, the science doesn't need to be accurate," Avery argued with a grin. "It's all made up anyway. I mean, come on. Time travel as a concept is one of the oldest made up science tropes anyway."

Bucky choked out a laugh, giving Steve a gentle shove. "Sure, doll. Time travel isn't real, right Steve?"

Steve sighed, cocking his head to shoot Bucky a glare.

"What was that look for?" Avery asked, sitting up on her knees and looking between them both. She took a long drink and raised her eyebrows. "What? Don't tell me The Avengers travelled through time." She laughed at her own silly thought though immediately drew silent when she saw the look on Steve's face.

"You travelled through time!? Is this a joke? Am I that drunk?" She held up her hand to stop Steve from responding, taking the opportunity to chug the rest of her drink. "Maybe I'm not drunk enough."

"I'm cutting you off," Bucky replied with a smirk, grabbing the can away from her.

"Steve. Seriously. Steve." Avery shuffled on her knees, sitting closer to the couch. "Is this a classified government secret? Can you tell me? Oh my god, please."

A small grin grew on Steve's face. "Buck, look what you started."

Bucky just laughed, leaning back on the couch with his hands behind his head. "Ave, he also went to space."

Avery let out a _not-so-quiet_ cry. "You went to space, too?"

Steve sighed once more. He often had discussions with Bruce about what they achieved with their aptly named ' _time heist'_ and whether the science was something to be shared with the rest of the world. At this point, he weighed that there was likely no harm in telling some version of the story to Avery.

It was still a concept Steve struggled to understand - the gravity of what they accomplished. They had suffered very serious loss in the process and he wasn't sure those wounds would ever heal. But as he looked down at Avery's excited face, he thought about how Tony would have shared their story. He remembered Nat and how she fought with her heart and soul to do good and find a solution. Steve owed it to his lost friends and their legacies to tell their story - to the right audience, at least.

"Okay, I'll tell you about the time travel and going to space - but I have to start at the beginning." Steve leaned forward, pausing to laugh at Avery's excited smile. "You've heard people refer to the _vanishing_ as a snap before, right?"

Avery nodded. "Sure. Some big bad alien was somehow powerful enough to just snap his fingers and make half the universe disappear. If it didn't happen to me, I would say it's bullshit and that kind of thinking is just absolutely insane."

"Insane is one way to describe it. He was a power hungry masochist." Bucky added in.

Steve stayed true to his word and started at the beginning. It wasn't an easy story to summarize, though it didn't help that Avery was asking a lot of questions along the way.

" _Wow. The Black Widow was incredible. How did she put up with all of you? That's a real question Stevie. Why did she bother putting up with all of you?"_

" _Buck. Be honest. Did they ever get close to finding you? You ever just almost run into Sam in the middle of Amsterdam?"_

" _How many buildings did you jump off?"_

" _You fought a dozen guys in an elevator? That's so hot."_

" _You literally stopped a helicopter that Bucky was trying to pilot? With your hands!? Wait. That's HOT."_

" _Can you imagine finding out the reason why your plane was delayed was because The Avengers were play fighting on the runway?"_

" _How often did you do laundry when you were on the run? How many times did you and Sam have to share a motel bed?"_

" _What was it like finally reuniting in Wakanda?"_

" _Bucky! You never told me you had a pet goat!"_

Bucky almost doubled over laughing. "Is that an important part of this story?"

Avery nodded. "Of course it is. What was his name? Your goat?"

Steve swallowed his smile and shifted to look at Bucky. "Yeah, Buck. Why don't you tell Avery your goat's name?"

"That is really not an important detail, doll."

Avery gasped. "Are you blushing?"

Steve reached over and swatted Bucky on the chest. "C'mon, just tell her."

Bucky just rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Steve."

Avery sat up on her knees and climbed onto the couch between them. "Bucky, please. It can't be that bad."

"That was the goat's name: Steve. He was a scrappy little kid, it was fitting."

"Oh my god!" Avery couldn't help but giggle. "Stevie, Bucky loves you so much - it's gross." She stretched out across them both, laying her head on Steve's lap. "There is a very real thing weaved in this story you know. _Love._ You two. Long lost lovers, separated through hardship but brought together by..goats."

Steve brushed his hand across her forehead, finishing off his story. By the time he got to the actual time travel part, her interest peaked once more and her questions petered off, hanging onto Steve's words.

"I didn't know you then - well, I knew who you were, _Captain America_ \- but.. it's silly. I know it was a team effort but I'm proud of you, Stevie. You didn't give up on Bucky or.. humanity, really."

Steve smiled. "I had important things to fight for." He looked over at Bucky, who was watching him with a soft smile. "I almost left it all behind, though."

Bucky tensed and shook his head. "Steve, you don't have to -

"What?" Avery pushed herself up slightly, glancing between them. They were doing that thing where they spoke without actually exchanging words. "What does that mean?"

"Doesn't matter now," Bucky answered quickly. Maybe that needed to stay between him and Steve. Bucky leaned over and pressed a kiss to Steve's temple.

When Steve got onto that platform to return the stones, Bucky said his goodbyes. Because he wanted Steve to have the life he dreamed about. After all that sacrifice and hardship and pain, all Bucky wanted was for Steve to feel love and happiness. He deserved that. It only took one look into Bucky's eyes for Steve to realize he had it wrong - his idea of what he desired. It had been standing right in front of him.

Avery wanted to ask and press about the look they were sharing but something told her it wasn't her place. Instead, she snuggled up against them and sighed. "They should make that story into a movie."

"I don't think the World Security Council wants to put any focus on the threats outside of our planet, especially in the form of a movie."

Avery scoffed. "That's not the story I meant. Your story. _The love story._ C'mon. Fighting for each other, searching the world, pulling down a helicopter, destroying an airport, running from the government… that's the real story. That's the only part I cared about, honestly."

She closed her eyes, humming happily as Steve stroked her hair. She felt the couch shift and Bucky moved over, wrapping his arm over Steve's shoulders.

Avery yawned and grabbed onto Steve's torso. "Okay, I lied. I really enjoyed the part about Steve the goat, too."

* * *

A rumbling phone on the bedside table woke everyone up early Wednesday morning. Avery had been dead weight on top of Bucky and she groaned when the sound started.

"It's your brother," Steve commented, eyes squinting at the screen as he reached for her phone.

Avery's eyes flew open and she grabbed it, scrambling to climb off the bed. She disappeared into the hallway with the phone at her ear, her voice quiet and raspy.

Bucky sighed into the pillows and tilted his head, looking over towards Steve. "He must be flying out soon." Steve nodded in agreement as they both laid quietly, pretending not to listen in on her side of the phone call. The conversation didn't last longer than a few minutes but Avery stood quietly outside the bedroom for a beat then slowly treaded downstairs.

Steve pushed himself up onto his elbows, hearing the patio door slide open and closed. His heavy sigh matched Bucky's as they silently got half dressed - Steve in a long sleeve Henley and joggers and Bucky in an unzipped hoodie with his pajama pants, tracing Avery's path outside.

She was standing at the very end of the dock, toes wiggling against the wood planks beneath her feet. She had grabbed a blanket on her way out, draping it over her shoulders - a layer to protect from the chill of the morning air. Far across the lake, the sun was slowly rising, casting a yellow glow over the horizon.

Avery glanced over her shoulder when she heard their approach, offering a forced smile. "You could have stayed in bed." She turned away before reading their faces or hearing a reply. "I just need to be sad for, like, five minutes then I'll be okay."

"You can have more than five minutes." Steve's hand landed on her shoulder, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her cheek. "You can have an entire sad day, if you want."

A smile flashed briefly across her face, grateful for the sentiment. "I don't want to waste our last day being sad." She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly as she exhaled. "I respect my brother for his chosen career path. And it's useless for me to just sit here _sad_ and worry about him. It's just tough with all the variables - will his tour get extended, will he be able to contact us, when will he come home.. if he makes it home at all."

Steve exchanged a glance with Bucky. His first instinct was to tell her that her brother was going to come home. _Of course he was._ But he knew that wasn't a guarantee and denying that honesty wasn't fair.

Bucky stepped slightly ahead and reached to cradle her cheek. "I know you don't want to hear us make some speech about the nobility of soldiers who fight for their country. But you're allowed to feel this way as long as you want, doll. You wouldn't be wasting any of our time."

Steve nodded in agreement. "We can go back to bed or I can put on some coffee or -

Avery looked between them both and let a soft smile appear on her face. A real one. "Let's just watch the sunrise. Coffee can wait."

They had no plans for Wednesday really - there was no need for a schedule. The sunrise watching rolled into coffee and breakfast on the deck which then turned to Bucky leading Steve and Avery through a morning vinyasa yoga routine.

(Yoga did not go well. Avery and Steve did not take it even a little bit seriously and when they started wrestling on the grass instead of attempting the pose Bucky suggested, he promptly gave up trying to reign them in.)

They changed into their swimsuits again and lounged around the small beach beside the dock. Avery got in and out of the water, but mainly just soaked in the sunshine. Steve and Bucky took out the Sea-do machines and raced around, occasionally slowing down to laugh with each other and holler at Avery as she laid out on the dock.

At one point, the boys escaped into the garage then into the house to try and repair the headboard Avery had broken, too.

It was everything and nothing at the same time.

By the end of the afternoon, they all had warm sun kissed skin and sore cheeks from laughing and smiling all day. For dinner, Steve manned the grill on the deck and managed to produce a feast of roasted vegetables and burgers. Each of the boys had a few beers and Avery sipped on spiked lemonade.

As the evening turned to night, they debated building a campfire or watching another movie or playing more board games. They were sitting on the outdoor couches, Avery leaning against Bucky on one while Steve sprawled out on the other. Her eyes were cast upwards, trying to catch as many stars in her view as she possibly could.

"I could just sit and watch the stars all night, honestly," she murmured with a halfhearted chuckle, somehow sinking further into Bucky as she exhaled.

Steve smiled and looked up, too. "It really is quite the view."

Bucky stilled, then slowly turned his head to look at Steve. "I have a real faint memory of nights sleeping under the stars. Stars like this." His statement was open ended, maybe on purpose.

Steve smirked. "Do you think that's a memory of us travelling through France or are you thinking about -

"When we went camping at Rockaway..." Bucky interrupted, relaxing once more. "All you cared about was building a fire and -

"All _you_ cared about was that blonde and her friend in the tents down the beach from us."

Steve always liked when memories came back to Bucky. It was rare he could retain clear moments from his past but when he did, it seemed to all come back at once, like he found an old envelope of photos in his mind.

Avery just smiled as they talked, losing track along the way of who they were mentioning or what Bucky was suddenly remembering. All she cared about was the carefree sound of their voices - free from worry or tension or anything else.

"I wish we could just sleep under the stars," she said softly, closing her eyes as Bucky trailed his fingers up and down her arm.

"Well," Steve started slowly, sitting forward on his seat.

"Oh no, that's Steve's great idea voice," Bucky laughed, tilting his head to look at Steve's plotting face. "What's the plan, Captain Rogers?"

Steve just returned a smirk to Bucky and clasped his hands together. "If we move some of his furniture over and haul out a mattress from the bunk house, we _could_ sleep under the stars. Out here."

Avery's eyes grew wide at the suggestion. "Oh my god, yes. Can we? We have to. I don't think it's going to rain tonight but we'll be close to the house if it does." She stood up and quickly finished off her drink. "Let's divide and conquer."

Bucky and Avery shuffled around the deck furniture while Steve headed to the bunk house, returning with a pile of blankets and easily carrying the mattress with one arm. It wasn't going to be an especially cold night, thankfully so between the blankets and sweaters and body heat, they arranged a very cozy nest of a bed on the deck. They shut off all the outdoor lights and anything inside the house to ensure the maximum stargazing environment.

Eventually, after shuffling and rearranging and allowing for proper blanket distribution, they settled. Avery slotted herself in the middle - sandwiched by the broad shoulders and radiant heat of Bucky and Steve. A silence fell over all three of them, each lost in their own thoughts as they stared up towards the sky.

It was vast.

Steve let his mind wander to the past - after the life changing snap from Thanos but before their final battle. Those _in between_ years where sometimes all he could do was hold onto a shred of hope that his future might look like something he really wanted. Something full of potential and purpose and passion.

Bucky was searching his mind for something to say - to vocally express his gratitude to whomever was listening. To say thank you for giving him another chance. For letting all his pain count for something else. He wanted to shout to the heavens about forgiveness and retribution and grace. Instead, he let out a long sigh and laced his metal fingers with Avery's warm hand.

Avery wasn't even looking up at the sky anymore. Instead, her eyes were closed tight. She was praying to whatever power might be in charge - the omniscient energy that controlled her choices in life. She thought back to collapsing in the kitchen at her old apartment with Seth. She thought about how she sat on her knees in front of her mother's headstone, how she wept and wondered why this sort of pain was allowed.

At the far other end of that thought, she indulged herself. If that pain was allowed, so was the euphoric happiness that had filled her cup over the last few days.

A squeeze from Bucky's hand seemed to draw her attention back to the present moment. She tipped her head to look at him, his eyebrow raised slightly as if to check and make sure she was okay.

She offered him a smile and nodded, accepting a quick kiss from him before they both glanced upwards again.

"I just want to say thank you - to both of you," Avery said softly, reaching down for Steve's hand and clutching it the same way she gripped Bucky's. "These past few days were exactly what I needed - _what we needed."_

"You two are really the only people I really want to spend any time with, especially four full days straight," Bucky responded.

"Wow, how do you think Sam would feel if he knew that?" Avery quipped back, judging her shoulder against Bucky's.

"I'm sure he'd say the same thing about Buck," Steve added in. He paused for a beat and tilted his head to look over at Avery. "Me and Buck - we have this old saying. We promise we'll be there for each other-

Bucky finished his sentence. "- until the end of the line."

Avery couldn't help but smile. "I love that."

Bucky squeezed her hand. "It's the same for you, doll. We'll always be right here for you - anytime."

"You're letting me in on your oldest, most personal catch phrase? Really?" She pushed herself up to sit, and adjusted to look between them both. "Wow, you must really love me, huh."

Steve shook his head with a laugh. "Yes. Isn't it gross?" He reached over and pulled Avery down towards him, locking her in his arms despite her protests.

Bucky moved over and joined in, moving his hands against any exposed skin he could, causing her laughter to echo out as he tickled her. "Yeah, love is disgusting."

"Absolutely awful," Avery shrieked out with a laugh. A bonus of her newfound strength was easily holding her own against the super soldiers, at least.

They gave up on their tussle quickly, falling into a big mess of overlapping limbs once more. The energy surrounding them was peaceful. Avery could feel her heart thumping, as arms and hands held her close and someone's lips staked claim to inches of her skin. She didn't think about what tomorrow brought or what next week might look like.

All she needed was that very moment in time, her safe escape from reality and the outside world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP, this took a while to get out of my brain and into real words. but here we are! nearly at the end (which makes me emotional to think about) but this chapter was a real dream to build out. but really, who doesn't want a romantic few days at the lake with these two. amirite, folks? thank you to my friend EirlysLavellan for the goat inspiration ;)
> 
> thank you for reading and being here for this journey! all the kudos and comments and subscriptions really just mean the world to me. I felt very lost and nervous posting this story and you've all made this experience safe and kind and wonderful.
> 
> if you're in the market for a SUPERB slowburn Bucky/OC story, I'm here again to pitch my friend EirlysLavellan's 'As The Sky May Fall'! 
> 
> (also, WandaVision ya'll!! it's wild!!!)
> 
> Coming up next: the final wrap up and what the next stage of life looks like for this lovely trio.


	30. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here we are! I can't believe this is the end. I have so many feelings I'd like to express but I think I'd just like to say one thing: thank you! To each and every one of you who has been here reading along for this journey between Avery, Bucky and Steve - thank you for taking a chance and reading and commenting and just being here. I had one far off idea that stemmed into this story and I can't believe how far we've come. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
> 
> My final note here is a thank you to my friend EirlysLavellen for just.. everything! Swapping ideas and memes and everything in between. I've been shouting out her story 'As The Sky May Fall' because it is so incredible and I am excited to say I've included a cameo from her OC Alice in this chapter too, as an homage to them both! So please check out her story!
> 
> If you're interested in connecting with me after this (especially if you want to talk about WandaVision or swap theories about FATWS), I'm on tumblr at: inthegreyspaces (warning: it features trash reblogs)
> 
> At the end of this chapter, there is an ~~after credits scene~~ introducing the sequel story to this one! Coming soon!
> 
> Anyways, away we go! Here's the final chapter! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> Content warning: discussion of mental health, medication, implied sexual content.

Avery felt especially bold wearing her Red Sox gear to Yankee Stadium. She confidently cuffed the sleeves of her vintage t-shirt and secured her baseball cap, finally ready to go. She found Steve and Bucky chatting in Steve's kitchen, finishing off their dishes from breakfast.

"You know, I'm not sure I can even look at you with that hat on," Steve said with a smirk, drying off his hands on a towel and adjusting his t-shirt.

Avery stuck her tongue out at Steve. "Where's your loyalty, Buck?" She eyed up the plain back hat on Bucky's head and got a shrug in return.

"I cheer for the Dodgers only," Bucky replied with finality. "But I like seeing you two face off."

"You cheer for a team from California because...?" Avery asked, lacing up her sneakers as they all made their way to the door. She had nearly forgotten about the tickets to the Red Sox vs Yankee afternoon game she got Steve for his birthday but now that the day had arrived, she was incredibly excited. A day in the sun with her two favourite guys was just what she needed before her classes started on Monday. She could quite easily shelve her anxiety until that evening and happily distract herself with popcorn and overpriced beers and baseball.

"You wound me, Ave. They used to be the Brooklyn Dodgers, didn't ya know?" Bucky threw his arm over her shoulder as they headed to the elevator. "The greatest disappointment is finally getting my head back on right and finding _my team_ moved to Los Angeles years ago. Now, Stevie always cheered for the Yanks, even back in the before times. That's the real travesty."

"Babe Ruth, Buck."

"That's his only argument."

"Steve." Avery turned towards him as they travelled down in the elevator. "You know Babe Ruth started his career with the Red Sox, right?"

"Nah," Steve replied with a smirk, reaching his hand out and pulling down the brim of her hat. "I like to pretend that isn't a real fact, sweetheart."

Like real New Yorkers, they took the subway to the stadium. Avery felt better knowing she wouldn't be the only Boston fan present - it was a long-standing rivalry between the teams and as they got closer into the city, it was clear there would be a big crowd for the game.

Their seats were on the field level, closer to the third base side. It was bright and sunny and admittedly probably the best day for a ballgame. Not too hot or breezy and their section wasn't overfilled with people or extra noise.

"I have to be honest." Avery dropped into the middle seat between Steve and Bucky. "I paid for these tickets with the cash I got from Will. I felt kind of bad about it at the time but considering all the shit he put me through, I'm glad at least something positive came out of it." She reached into her purse and produced one of the leftover envelopes, still full of cash.

"Avery," Steve sighed. "Please don't tell me you've just been carrying that around in your purse."

She raised an eyebrow at him and just shrugged. "It's only a couple hundred dollars. Figured it could fund a very fun day at the ballpark." She knew Steve was more concerned about the inherent safety risks that came with carrying around large sums of money.

Bucky clapped his hands together before waving down one of the vendors selling beer. "Hey. I don't mind using up that cash. Thanks, doll."

"We've just gotta hang onto forty bucks so I can buy Steve a Red Sox hat later after his team loses."

Steve just sighed and countered her bet with the same offer, dismissing his qualms about the origins of the money as they enjoyed their afternoon together.

Between the three of them, they had six beers (three for Avery), six hot dogs (three for Bucky), two bags of popcorn and four ice cream cones (two for Steve).

The Red Sox got three home runs but still managed to lose. Steve jumped to his feet to cheer when the last inning ended with some up and coming Yankee player clinching a grand slam, solidifying the win for New York.

Avery just groaned and slid into her seat, tearing off her hat. "Nooooo."

"Ohh. Yes." Steve turned back to look at her, a devilish grin growing on his face. "The perfect birthday present, Ave." He was quick to pull her through the stadium as they tried to filter out, stopping at a merchandise shop. Avery reluctantly tucked her Red Sox hat away and waited as Steve acquired a hat for her. When he came out of the stall, he had an entire bag of things.

Because apparently she couldn't wear a Yankees hat and a Red Sox t-shirt together. Bucky just laughed as Avery grumbled, whining dramatically and dragging her feet to a nearby bathroom to change. When she emerged and revealed her new outfit, Steve couldn't stop grinning.

"This may be your best look yet, sweetheart," he commented with a smirk. She sighed _again_. The last cruel thing Steve made her do was pose for photos outside the stadium and when he made some vague threat about sending them to her dad, she lunged at him, tackling him into a playful hug.

"You wouldn't dare," she said with a laugh. "I think he'd disown me."

Steve patted the top of her head and planted a kiss on her lips, reiterating just how great she looked in his team colours. Avery just rolled her eyes.

On their journey back to the subway, they discussed the next few weeks ahead. Between an upcoming mission for Bucky, a new training schedule for Steve and Avery starting her classes and an assistant position in the department, things were about to change for the three of them. Gone would be the long warm summer nights and instead there would be early mornings and busy evenings and the feeling of fall coming into the city.

It did remind Avery of one of those ridiculous wooden sign quotes her mother used to put up as the months grew colder: _life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall._

She remembered that being a Fitzgerald quote and as she stood on the subway between the boys, she wondered if Bucky could confirm that - ever the reader of great literature. She gripped the subway pole and glanced between them, pondering that string of words.

It did feel like her life was starting all over again. Between going back to university and moving into Bucky's apartment, things were suddenly very different and while it certainly felt monumental and scary, knowing she was along for the ride with Bucky and Steve supporting her made all the difference.

* * *

Steve: [IMG_0516]  
Steve: [IMG_0517]  
Steve: [IMG_0519]  
Steve: _first day of class pictures are not age appropriate for college apparently  
_ Bucky: _you couldn't have smiled, doll?  
_ Avery: _Steve! you said you deleted those pics  
_ Avery: _betrayal wow :(  
_ Steve: _I think you look cute with your backpack  
_ Avery: _great. the first impression I want to make as I start off as a graduate assistant is definitely 'cute girl with backpack'  
_ Bucky: _I like the skirt and blazer look, if that makes you feel better  
_ Bucky: _are the students going to call you Miss Felix  
_ Bucky: _can I call you Miss Felix?  
_ Steve: _I'm taking Miss Felix out for dinner tonight to celebrate  
_ Bucky: _can't lie, I'm sad I can't be there too  
_ Avery: _well maybe Miss Felix will send you some pictures later too ;)  
_ Avery: _without the backpack, blazer and skirt  
_ Steve: _or maybe in just the skirt?  
_ Bucky: _YES please_

* * *

Avery's leg was bouncing rapidly. Steve glanced up from his phone and extended his hand out, stilling her knee and attempting to put her at ease. He understood her influx of nerves - the follow up appointment with Dr. Cho was hopefully going to provide answers to whatever was going on. But as the minutes ticked by, it seemed the panic was growing, too.

Steve shifted in the chair, following Avery's gaze as she peered out the far window of Mickey's office. "Wanna go to that noodle place for lunch after this?"

Avery turned her head to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Are you trying to distract me with the idea of delicious food?"

Steve shrugged. "Is it working?"

Avery just laughed and nodded. She had fasted for her blood work that morning and was teetering on the verge of _hangry._ So yes, the idea of a big bowl of her favourite pho dish was definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. She squeezed Steve's hand and continued to aimlessly glance around the office while he checked his emails with his free hand.

"Buck should be home tomorrow afternoon," Steve said a few moments later, tucking his phone away. Bucky, Sam and Wanda had agreed to a last minute trip overseas as an assist to Everett Ross. Their exact location was classified but Steve knew it was somewhere on the border of Russia and Mongolia, based on previous locations of a terrorist group the CIA was tracking.

Avery and Steve had kept busy while Bucky was gone - mainly packing up her apartment. She had also been suddenly very overwhelmed with her school schedule. Transitioning from not using her brain for educational purposes to balancing classes, labs, and being a teaching assistant had thrown her for a loop. Meanwhile, Steve had been dealing with the aftermath of the entire SHOT investigation.

Avery smiled at the thought of Bucky's return. Even though she had been splitting time between her apartment and Steve's for the past few nights, she missed Bucky and was looking forward to spending time with him again. With both of her boys, together.

Both Steve and Avery turned when they heard the door open and Mickey Cho walked in, a smile on his face beneath his glasses. Avery noticed the file folder in his hand seemed bigger than normal.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Mickey started as he sat at his desk, tapping on the folder as he glanced between Steve and Avery. "Had to wait for the labs. So, Avery. How have you been feeling?"

Avery sighed but offered a polite smile. "I feel fine, honestly. Better than a few weeks ago. It's just weird with the.." She trailed off, hesitating as she glanced towards Steve.

Mickey nodded. "Sure - the sudden bout of strength. Honestly, if I can be completely candid here, this is brand new to me." With a few taps on his keyboard, a large transparent screen came down behind Mickey and he adjusted his view, moving his hands on the large screen. Standing, he tapped on a full body scan of Avery.

"We have a lot of research about enhanced humans now, mainly thanks to you, Captain Rogers. But for you, Avery, it seems like there is no particular reason why this formula affected you this way. Those research documents from the Oscorp data had some theories but the goal was for the effects of the chemical inhalant to only be temporary." He paused to zero in on one of Avery's arms. "Your muscle structure has changed. It's like you acquired years and years of bodybuilding experience overnight. I don't know if it's permanent but I don't think it's causing you any other harm. In fact, that nerve issue you've been dealing with on your right hand seems to be counteracted by the strength of your muscle tissue. It's honestly fascinating."

Avery held up her right hand and stared at it, sighing. "The nerve damage - permanent?"

Mickey shook his head. "I don't think so. With some rehabilitation and time, it should heal. If not, a very minor surgery could help in the future." He smiled and shifted his hands so the screen would change again. "Your blood toxicity levels have gone back to normal, too. So that chemical cocktail has completely disappeared."

"So aside from the muscle development, she's okay?" Steve wanted to clarify they were on the same page.

Mickey nodded. "Sure." He took a long pause, as if contemplating his next thought. "Although, I did want to have a conversation with Avery alone, if you don't mind."

"What about?" Avery extended her hand out to stop Steve from standing.

Mickey sucked in a breath. "Your mental health. I just want to go over the past few years and some strategies and suggestions on how to help. I know you've been seeing a therapist on and off, but I think a frank discussion might be beneficial."

Avery chewed on her lip and reached for Steve's hand. "I'd like Steve to stay, then."

Avery felt a mixture of relief and exhaustion when they finally got to their lunch spot after leaving Mickey's office. It's not that she couldn't handle talking about her _mental health_ \- she was open to having more candid conversations about it. She just didn't love leaving his office with a laundry list of her issues, even if there were plans and solutions available to help her.

As she sat across from Steve, she stared down at the document in her hand: _generalized anxiety disorder, depression (monitored, minor), increased muscle mass development (monitored), dystonia (minor), post traumatic stress disorder (minor)._

"You know, it's one thing to think about balancing my brain out but it's another to see everything that's wrong with you laid out in a detailed list," Avery muttered, flipping the paper over as she reached for her cup of coffee.

Steve gave her a sympathetic smile. "I've been there. In fact, I think they even featured _my_ list in the Smithsonian exhibit years ago. Steve Rogers had about a dozen reasons to give up on the fight and hide away in bed."

"I know, I know," Avery replied with a sigh. "You held your head up high and prevailed. And all your physical ailments disappeared, too."

He sighed. "Just because they went away.. it's not about that. This isn't a contest about whose list is longer, Ave. I know it seems daunting-

"To say the least."

"But you're strong and very capable of not letting some list define how you live your life."

Avery let a smile crawl onto her face. She didn't want to get stuck in a personal pity party. The conversation paused as their lunch arrived. She tucked into her bowl of noodles and veggies, peering up at Steve as she finished her bite. "Do you think I could be an Olympic weightlifter?" A swell of laughter caught in her chest. "Or maybe a world recorder holder of some kind?"

"Do we need to have a conversation about the ethics behind being an enhanced human?" Steve joked, swirling the food in his bowl.

"Did you do a PSA for that too?"

Steve held up his hand to stop her, then looked down. A second later, he looked at her again - grinning in a comically enthusiastic way and raising one eyebrow. He put on his best Captain America voice. "So, you've suddenly come into super strength and you're not sure how to handle it. Well, champ, take it from me - it's not just tossing around bad guys and freeing people from broken buildings."

Avery nearly doubled over in laughter at Steve's fake monologue, quickly letting her fears and worries float away. Luckily, their conversation moved promptly from super strength and medical ailments as they finished their meals. Steve was very good at keeping her distracted with a change in topics. When they were done eating, they made a plan to head back to Brooklyn, stopping at a pharmacy on the way.

Avery was trying not to intentionally drag her feet but Mickey Cho's words from earlier were weighing on her: " _My recommendation is to start a low dose SSRI."_ A double whammy to treat anxiety and her sad, sad brain. In every sense, she knew this was a good thing and it wasn't supposed to feel like failure. Yet, that tiny little voice echoed through her mind.

She and Steve meandered through the CVS as they waited for her prescription to be filled. Avery dragged her fingers across a display with colourful nailpolish bottles, letting out a quiet laugh as she paused. To her right, she saw Steve giving her a strange look.

"You okay?"

Avery smirked. "I just like that we're at the pharmacy picking up my store-bought serotonin and I can also grab Vibranium Grey nail polish." She grabbed one of the bottles on the display and showed Steve the label. "What do you think?"

"I think Star Spangled Red is a better choice," he commented, grabbing another bottle as he rolled his eyes.

"How about Cap's Cowl Blue? That's a pretty weak name, honestly," Avery continued on and on about the nailpolish colours, delaying their stop at the pharmacy pickup counter even longer.

Steve knew she was stalling. Avery knew Steve knew that, too.

He turned slightly, putting himself between the cosmetics aisle and Avery. "After the snap, I was prescribed… what was it - Citalopram, for a while." Her eyes flashed to meet his, narrowed slightly as he talked. "I didn't like it. Well, I didn't like the idea of it. But I was struggling with terrible anxiety and guilt and intrusive thoughts. It helped until it didn't anymore and I tried something else."

Avery was a bit surprised to hear that Steve himself had been on a similar medication to the one that was waiting for her in a paper bag behind the counter. It was hard to accept that he was someone who needed extra support. But at the same time, to her it seemed like the strongest thing Steve could have done - accepted the help he needed and did what was right for the sake of his mind.

Then it dawned on her - that was exactly the problem.

Her worries were driven not from doubts or fears that this wasn't going to help her - she was certain her mood would stabilize once she was used to the medication. She was worried about feeling like she failed. For the past year and a half, that had been the overarching narrative in her head. She lost five years of her life and she failed to get back on track. She suffered and whined and wasted so much time sitting with her anger instead of trying to help herself.

She was worried that Steve and Bucky saw her like some helpless, fragile person whose brain didn't even properly produce chemicals.

"It was just before his birthday that Buck weaned off his medication, too." Steve continued as he watched Avery think and process. "He was on a cocktail of antipsychotic medication for sometime." He reached his hand down to grab hers. "You're not alone in this, Ave."

Avery smiled, just barely. "I think I'll get Star Spangled Red." She clutched the small bottle of polish and took a deep breath. Steve squeezed her hand as they walked towards the pharmacy counter together.

* * *

Avery: _I'm thinking we need to have a proper funeral for Frank before I let him go :(  
_ Avery: _I don't think I can even look at his pot any longer  
_ Bucky: _doll, you've gotta forgive yourself  
_ Bucky: _you gave him a good life  
_ Avery: _it's my fault he died!  
_ Avery: _what kind of mother leaves her son out on a balcony before a week away  
_ Avery: _with no nutrients or water  
_ Steve: _aren't you in class right now?  
_ Avery: _..yes  
_ Steve: _can you mourn Frank after your lecture?  
_ Bucky: _we can go pick out a new tree for the balcony this weekend  
_ Bucky: _maybe a plastic one from IKEA  
_ Avery: _WOWWWwww  
_ Avery: _don't you dare disrespect my son like that Buck_

* * *

Avery didn't love the idea of waking up early on a Saturday to go to the compound with Bucky and Steve. Though they enticed her with a stop at her favourite coffee shop before the drive, she was still grumbly about it. Especially because the underlying reason for going was because the boys were meeting with their CIA guy about the Osborn situation.

She knew they had recently gotten news they didn't like and were withholding some information from her about it. Steve assured her they'd tell her everything once they had finished their meeting with Everett Ross. All she really wanted to know was two things: was Harry Osborn in jail yet and if he wasn't, did she have to testify to get him there?

Avery wasn't allowed to actually sit in on the meeting but she did get permission from Steve to either hang out in his office or wander. So, she chose to wander. She actually wound up in the large fitness area, sitting on the sidelines as Peter ran through some drills with Wanda. Though she was perfectly content to just sip on her iced coffee and observe, Wanda quickly recruited her to help with some of the sequences.

It mainly involved Avery throwing some large heavy bags as obstacles for Peter. It evolved into Wanda giving her some tips about aim and direction and Peter peppering in advice about agility and how she could get better.

Admittedly, Avery thought it was pretty fun. She liked the idea of training and being better, maybe honing her strange new super strength skills. But as she watched Peter race through his drills and talk about real world scenarios, the appeal did lessen for Avery. She could see the value in being a _good guy_ and fighting for what is right, but it also seemed dangerous and tiring and _annoying_.

Above the training room, Everett Ross sat with Sharon, Sam, Steve and Bucky to go over the final debriefings from the Osborn investigation.

Bucky was clicking his metal fingers on the board room table - he was _mad_.

"Listen, I know this wasn't the outcome we anticipated but this is still a win. A big win." Everett glanced from Sam to Steve, bypassing the glare from Bucky, then returned his gaze to the display screen. "With that warehouse going up in flames -

"Thanks to Osborn," Bucky muttered out.

Ross carried on regardless of the commentary. "- it stopped production of the chemical weapons and halted their entire weapon trafficking operation. There has been a full stop and seizure of all their synthetic sleytium and members of the Haskell family are awaiting trial for their participation."

Steve was surprisingly quiet as Ross continued and _that_ was annoying Bucky, too.

Sam leaned forward on the table and sighed. "So, Osborn gets a year of house arrest for.. What exactly was the charge? Accessory to a one of the dozens of crimes people around him committed?"

"He kidnapped our girlfriend," Bucky added in before Ross could continue. "And he gets away with that?"

"Maxwell Turner has been charged with a felony for that, Mr. Barnes. He is taking ownership for those actions and plead guilty to the kidnapping charge, the assault charges, the death of that security guard, and, among everything else, will serve a long time in prison for his participation."

Bucky just shook his head again and again. He knew there was no point in arguing - the sentencing had already occurred. It was swift and painless - with Osborn throwing his goon under the bus for most of the crimes he was _supposedly_ involved in. Harry was particularly agreeable to give up a list of international arms buyers, too. When all was said and done, the judge decided on what he considered a fair sentencing for Harry, Maxwell, Will Simon and members of the Haskell family.

Even Will Simon's sentencing - a six month stint at a blue collar prison - was more extreme than what Harry Osborn was handed.

"I want to reiterate how much the federal government appreciates the help with this investigation," Everett said, arranging the files in front of him as their meeting wrapped up. He remained stoic as he took in the energy of the room. It was very clear Sam and Bucky were outwardly unhappy with this debrief.

Sharon rattled off a few last minute tasks they would wrap up and she stood with Steve, who offered to walk Everett out. Steve offered Bucky a reluctant look - silently requesting he keep his anger to himself until Everett Ross was out of the building. The minute they crossed over the threshold of the doorway, Bucky bounded up from his seat and let out a guttural scream.

"Osborn is a worm. I should have killed him." He resisted slamming his fists into the table because he knew Steve didn't want to replace _another_ piece of furniture in the boardroom. Bucky paced around the room, stopping to glance through the viewing windows to the training space below. He spotted Avery sitting cross legged beside one of the large trampolines and foam pits. Peter was doing something up in the air and flying around, bounding off of nearby walls and landing safely amongst the foam pieces. Avery was cheering him on, raising her hands to clap and celebrate his crash landings.

Despite the fact that Bucky knew Avery was safe - _there she was, perfectly happy_ \- it didn't stop his mind from flashing back to that stupid night in the warehouse. Even though they'd come so far from that night and the emotional fall out, his mind raced back to worst case scenarios and things he could have done differently, _should have done differently._

"Bucky, man," Sam's voice sounded out beside him. Bucky glanced over to see Sam standing with his arms crossed, shaking his head. "I think you need to let this one go." He tutted before Bucky could cut him off. "I know you're mad and this is disappointing but Ross isn't going to change his mind and that judge won't do anything else either. As far as they're concerned, this is over."

Bucky grumbled. Sam was probably right - _he hated that Sam was probably right_ \- but that didn't make it any easier.

Downstairs, Steve, Sharon and Everett Ross took a small detour on their way to the garage. As they stepped into the training facility, Steve let out a comforting sigh when he saw Avery sitting and laughing across the room as she watched Peter and his antics. It seemed they all heard the door open and she was quick to climb onto her feet, extending a hand to Peter to help him out of the foam pool before making their way over towards where their new guests were standing.

"You must remember Peter and Wanda," Sharon said to Ross with a smile as they all exchanged greetings.

"And this is Avery," Steve finished off, finishing off the remaining introductions.

"Nice to meet you, Avery," Ross said with a curt smile. He crossed his arms and quickly gave her a once over. "I hear you're dealing with some leftover side effects from the warehouse incident."

Avery just laughed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his commentary. "Warehouse incident..that's a cute description."

Steve sighed, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He met Avery's eyes and tried to plead for her civility, too. She was already frustrated enough not knowing the final outcomes of the entire situation and the stiff analysis from Ross wasn't helping.

Avery released her tight shoulders and tried to center herself, for Steve's sake. She offered Ross a smile. "I'm lucky to just be dealing with some new strength and nothing worse, thanks to this group saving me."

"She's super strong, sir," Peter added in, bouncing for a few moments on his feet.

"It's pretty impressive, actually," Wanda said with a nod, crossing her arms. "With some specific training, she could probably be a huge help to -

Steve did roll his eyes, shaking his head rapidly. "No."

"Are you not open to recruits currently, Captain Rogers?" Ross smirked.

"If it makes anyone feel better, I would be a terrible agent. Is that the term? I hate being told what to do and still had Steve opening a jar for me the other day so.." Avery was only adding to this banter to irritate Steve and it appeared to be working.

Steve didn't appreciate any of the playful tones. "I think this conversation is over. Didn't you say you had an afternoon appointment, Everett?" Steve turned on his heel and pushed the door open, motioning for their exit.

It wasn't long after they left that Sam and Bucky were entering the gym instead. Avery wasn't entirely certain but something seemed off about Bucky's mood. He gave her a smile as he extended his arm over her shoulder though and she decided not to push. He was quick to direct her towards the doorway, quietly meandering through the quiet halls before stepping outside to a green space that overlooked the lake. It was very clear in the brisk air outside that fall was approaching. Though the trees weren't changing colours just yet, Avery took in a deep breath closing her eyes and feeling the warm breeze.

"So." Bucky kicked his feet at a few stray rocks, watching carefully as they disappeared onto the lawn. "You don't have to testify in court."

Avery turned her head and frowned. She planted her arms across her chest, tapping her fingers against her skin. "Don't tell me they threw out all the charges."

Bucky let out a stiff laugh. "No, no. Osborn's lawyers worked out a deal for him, though: one year of house arrest. That Maxwell guy will serve time for the.. Well, for a lot of things apparently. Will Simon is doing a very short sentence in comparison. But they stopped the weapons and.. "

Avery looked away from Bucky, doing her best to absorb what he was saying and collect her thoughts. Her reaction was surprisingly… neutral. Bucky shuffled closer to her, placing himself directly in front of her as he tried to read her face. She avoided his eyes, muttering a few things to herself softly and tipping her head back and forth.

"Ave? Talk to me?" He reached up and placed his right hand against her cheek, forcing her to point her gaze towards him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Avery pursed her lips before shaking her head. "No.. it's whatever."

"It's.. whatever?" Bucky repeated exactly what she had said, mainly for her to hear how absurd it sounded. He raised one of his eyebrows as he scanned over her features.

She sighed and reached to remove Bucky's hand from her face. "How am I supposed to react here, Buck? Harry Osborn went out of his way to orchestrate kidnapping me - _kidnapping, what a comical term_ \- and he gets a year of house arrest. Probably in his fancy ass apartment building or at some family home in Montauk. Maxwell gets prison time and bullet wounds and Harry Osborn doesn't get shit. Oh my god. Am I sympathizing for that brute Max? The guy forced me from my apartment and threatened me and attacked me and - and.. And _choked me_ \- yet I feel bad for him getting a worse punishment than Harry Osborn?"

Avery didn't even realize she had started to pace around the garden space as she rambled. "Why does the justice system even exist if that's what happens? I should have fought back harder.. Why didn't I.. this is ridiculous. I want to smash his stupid face, Bucky! I just want to.." A loud, frustrated scream left Avery's throat. Her hands gripped her hair briefly before pulling them down her face and crouching as she caught her breath.

Bucky crouched down at her side, running his hand up and down her back. "You wanna go back inside and punch some stuff?"

Avery thought he was joking at first. But before she realized what was happening, Bucky was squeezing her hand and leading her back towards the big training gym. In particular, in the far corner of the room there was a boxing ring and related equipment.

It felt like forever ago that Bucky had run Avery through some basics about using a punching bag but once he got her hands properly fitted into a pair of proper gloves, she seemed to have no trouble unleashing her frustrations. And luckily, since the facility was outfitted for heavy hitters, with each powerful punch, the bag barely strained.

"Just let it out, doll," Bucky said over the sound of her fists. He was bracing the other side of the bag to absorb some of the impact but eventually let it go, taking a few steps away to let her release some of her energy and anger.

Steve managed to track them down after leaving Sharon to wrap up with Ross. He shot Bucky a concerned glance as he approached the boxing area, drawing his eyes towards Avery and her aggression instead. She was moving at a steady, slow pace but her punches were growing more and more intense.

"Hey," Bucky said as he approached her, "Time out. Hey." He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her away so she would take a break. "Feeling any better?"

Avery let out a long exhale and nodded, shaking off the gloves. "A bit, yeah. I just keep picturing Harry's face in front of me." She closed her eyes, leaning her back onto Bucky's chest as he wrapped his arms over her shoulders. She clenched her fists for another second then stretched out her fingers.

"We're not happy about this outcome either," Steve said with a sigh, arms crossed over his chest. He flicked his eyes back towards the door for a brief moment before continuing. "It sounds like the end goal was to get a list of buyers for those weapons, plus get Karl Malus in for questioning, and once that was secure, the consequences for those involved didn't take much of a priority."

"That's.. That's just fantastic, isn't it." Avery chewed on her lip and tried to break free of Bucky's hold but he remained planted. Admittedly, she didn't fight very hard to escape him. Avery had no desire to run and hide from the feelings she was experiencing - though she did want them to just _go away entirely_.

Okay, feelings. Feelings. She had to think about and sit with her feelings. That's what her new therapist was trying to teach her. Avery took a deep breath.

"I'm still angry. And I have this leftover violated feeling from when he strapped me to that chair and had his hands on me. And I'm relieved they're all locked away. But.."

Steve watched her closely as she squeezed her eyes shut. It pained him but he could see it across her face. "But you're scared."

"Yeah. I am. Why is that?" Avery shook her head before letting out a groan. "Not only are all those people in jail but, ironically, I'm probably better equipped now to fight back yet all I can think about is.." She trailed off again and Bucky released her from his hold, reaching for her hand.

"Because you trusted someone who put you in a vulnerable and unfair situation," Bucky said to her softly. "And in that situation, you experienced uncertainty and pain and a ton of other things that don't just go away overnight. That threat to your well being when paired with all that _sad brain_ stuff you wrestle with.. Well, it's going to manifest itself as fear."

Avery blinked twice when Bucky was done, turning her gaze towards Steve. "Now, why am I paying for a therapist when he spouts off stuff like that?"

Bucky just laughed as he crossed his arms. "They took all that away from me for a long time - so I've had a lot of time to process where those emotions come from."

"I think what Buck is trying to say is you're only human, Ave," Steve added in, reaching a hand over to rest on her shoulder. "You're allowed to be scared."

"But I don't want to be." Avery could feel a touch of frustration growing in her once more. God, she loved Steve and Bucky but sometimes she needed them to cross the threshold from _protective boyfriends_ to _people who can deliver tough love._

"It'll get better - easier - with time, doll." Bucky shrugged. "And until then, you have to fight off those voices in your head."

"You're about to be so busy with school and thinking about the future that you won't even think about Harry Osborn anymore," Steve continued, closing in the space between himself and Avery and sandwiching her into a hug. "But if you do, you can scream at us about it all you want, okay?"

Avery closed her eyes again and filled her lungs. She simply nodded as she leaned into Steve's chest, letting out a quiet _oomph_ as Bucky joined in too. "Okay, okay." They eventually pulled apart and let Avery really breathe again. "Now, can I do more punching? Please?"

Bucky let out a low laugh and nodded. "Maybe we should keep the heavy bag in the apartment after all."

* * *

Avery really enjoyed Thursdays. Although she had to wake up early to make it to her lab by 8:30, at least she only had to get to the Brooklyn campus. There had been an underlying concern that she'd burn out quickly or get bored or lost going back to class but instead of all those things, she seemed to _ignite._

Being in a lab setting again and doing research was filling Avery's cup and giving her a renewed sense of purpose each class. Admittedly, it was a difficult transition because her brain struggled to keep up for a few weeks but she was managing better now that she seemed to have her bearings.

Thursdays she spent two hours in a technical lab for her Environmental Toxicology course then her day was free. Well, free time as a student really meant studying and planning and napping. But instead she was heading up town after the lab to meet with Bruce to discuss her internship hours. Technically they didn't start until her second semester but she wanted to make sure her goals were aligned and that he actually wanted to act as a preceptor to her, and that he wasn't doing it just as a favour to Steve.

She was certainly grateful for the connection that Steve and Bucky had to Bruce. He would be a _dream_ mentor. To learn under Dr. Bruce Banner about anything would be incredible but if he could help support her thesis research project and teach her about his experience with biological technology, Avery would be a happy woman.

When she finally checked her phone after she was done in the lab, she saw a message from Bucky requesting she call him. Avery just smiled and secured her backpack on, finding a small couch to sit on while she waited for him to pick up his phone.

"Hey doll." Bucky's voice sounded out, surprisingly chipper for a work day.

"Hey Buck, what's up?"

"Where are you?"

Avery smirked and glanced around the hallway. "I just got out of class. You know, I added my schedule to your phone calendar and sent a PDF and -

"I know but _where_ are you? This very moment?"

Avery paused to listen for a minute, hearing Bucky move his phone and mutter out a few words to someone else. She smirked. "You didn't check the app?"

"Hey, I only use that for special circumstances," Bucky said quickly, a fake offended tone lacing his words. "Besides, all these buildings are clustered together so I'd never be able to pinpoint your exact location anyway. I, uh.. already tried."

"I'm in the Jacobs building today." Avery stood up and walked as she continued the call, wanting to head towards the street level to find her way to the subway. "Third floor, if you need specifics. East stairwell?"

"Do you want a coffee?" She heard more shuffling on his end and what sounded like more voices and some doors opening. "Iced? Well, you're getting it iced now."

"Wait. Bucky, where are you?" As Avery made her way down the stairs towards the first level of the building, she meandered through the lobby and by the time she reached the far side and exit doors near the commons, their phone call came to an abrupt end. That's when she spotted Bucky leaning against a tall table near the Starbucks, in his jean jacket and plain ball cap. He wasn't trying to stand out, of course. His unrelenting dislike for crowds was worse on some days and Avery considered maybe he was fighting with those feelings for her sake. There were two iced coffees sitting in front of him and there was a paper shopping bag sitting at his feet.

And even though she had woken up beside him that morning, her heart seemed to swell when she saw him smiling at her.

Avery was worried she'd lose that feeling - that _weak in the knees,_ overwhelming rush of warmth - over time. The honeymoon phase or whatever people needed to call the first few months of a relationship. But it remained steady and thorough. She genuinely looked forward to seeing Bucky and Steve and that mattered more than those worries, anyway.

"What are you doing here?" She greeted him with a kiss, bringing her hand up to cradle the stubble across his jaw.

"Thought I'd accompany you up to headquarters," he replied as he pulled away, a grin plastered to his face.

"And this?" She used her shoe to nudge at the bag resting near his feet.

Bucky stood up tall, pulling back on his denim jacket to reveal a crisp new NYU hoodie. His grin grew even more. "Couldn't resist buying a matching one for Steve."

The amount of support Bucky and Steve were providing to Avery as she adjusted to life as a student was almost overwhelming. Between talking her down from premature anxious thoughts to making her cups of tea when she studied late, it was as if they were going to get a fancy Masters degree when she was done too. And now matching school sweatshirts?

"You're adorable," she finally replied, grabbing her coffee and swallowing the urge to tear up. "Shall we?"

Bucky grabbed the shopping bag and his coffee, knocking his shoulder gently against Avery's as they headed to the subway. He loved hearing her talk about school, even if she thought she was just rambling and annoying him. She held onto a pole with one hand, bracing her coffee in the other, and went on and on about her new classmates and the ones who seemed friendship worthy.

Bucky peppered in questions about what she was studying and Avery answered enthusiastically. She watched his brain turn with more questions after she provided more information and when they got uptown, she ditched her empty coffee and took his hand in hers as they walked.

"Most universities let you audit classes during the beginning of each semester," Avery said when they paused at a crosswalk. She turned her head to catch his gaze.

He looked over towards her briefly then tugged her along as they moved with the crowd. "Audit?"

"Like, you can sit in on lectures and classes that you are interested in. No coursework obligation or anything but you get to learn about the topic and if you want to know more, you can actually take the class for real."

It wasn't lost on Avery that her experience in life was drastically different than Bucky's or Steve's. Their educational opportunities would not have looked like hers but she loved seeing Bucky light up when he learned about new technology or asked Bruce questions about certain research he was working on.

"Huh." Bucky nodded along as she described different classes that were in the course catalogue at NYU.

"You know there is more to life than your current obligations, right?" Avery wasn't looking for an answer because, well, she wasn't sure if there were rules or contracts or anything when it came to the status of Bucky's employment with what remained of The Avengers. She didn't know if he had a regular income or a salary or overtime or what. It seemed to her that they acted as independent contractors for the government or the CIA or other organizations around the world.

But when Steve mentioned things like retiring - _really retiring_ \- it made Avery wonder about what Bucky wanted now, too.

"I think you should just think about what you really want, Buck," Avery finished her broken up speech just as they were approaching Stark Plaza. He gave her hand one last squeeze before letting go when they walked into the lobby. Across the way, Steve was sitting on a short leather couch with his phone in his hand. Bucky smiled as Avery beelined towards Steve, happily relaxing into a hug from him. It had been only two days since they had seen each other but clearly the time apart had made an impact.

Bucky caught up with them slowly, letting out a long exhale as Steve reached to give him a half hug and kiss on the cheek.

Though he didn't hate the idea of considering his options in the future, Bucky knew he already had what he wanted. For a long time, it felt like there was still _something_ missing. As if there was an empty part of his soul that hadn't been repaired. But over the past few months, Avery had taken up residence in his soul.

All three of them had found something they didn't know they were looking for and although it wasn't perfect or pretty all the time, it was good. It was worth it. It was something Bucky knew he really wanted and for the time being, that was all that really mattered.

* * *

When Steve got to Avery's apartment late Friday afternoon, he was surprised to find the door open. At first, actually, he got a surge of worry in his chest as he approached but when he walked in to find her leaning against her newly replaced kitchen island and talking with an older gentleman, he was confused above everything else.

He knocked on the door lightly as he walked in and Avery turned to him with a smile.

"Hey you," she said as she stepped towards him, leaning up to press a kiss against his lips. "My last few boxes are all ready to go." She motioned to the living room, which aside from a few boxes from her bookshelf and a few plants, was empty. "Oh. And this is Raymond! He's moving into this apartment next week. Ray, this is Steve."

The older man took a step towards Steve and extended his hand. He had a warm smile and a mess of grey hair. "Nice to meet you, Steve."

Before Steve could reply, someone from the building's maintenance team was back at the door, mumbling out an apology to the older man. They left a few moments later, off to fill out paperwork and finish their building tour.

"Should I be worried you let that stranger into your apartment?" Steve asked with a smirk, arms crossed over his chest.

Avery rolled her eyes and motioned for him to grab one of her last boxes. "No, I knew they were coming by to see the unit. He's a very kind man! Lost his wife right after the snap and finally got approved for this housing program," she said with a smile, following Steve as they headed upstairs. "Where's Bucky?"

"He headed right upstairs with Alice," Steve responded as he looked over towards her. He wasn't sure when he'd get used to Avery and her ability to easily carry a 60 lb box of books like it was a throw pillow.

Avery quirked an eyebrow. "Alice?" It wasn't the first time she had heard that name - she was someone Steve and Bucky had mentioned in conversations before.

Steve smiled, moving the box in his arms to the side as he opened the door to Bucky's apartment. "I think you two will be fast friends."

When they walked in, Bucky was standing on one of his kitchen chairs near the closet with a loop of wiring in his hands, complaining about something as he fiddled with his router. Across the room sitting on the couch crossed legged was who Avery determined was Alice. There was a compact laptop sitting on the woman's knees, hands rapidly keying strokes as she watched Bucky struggling. Her face was framed with dark tresses sitting in casual waves at her shoulders and her mouth was drawn into a grin.

Bucky pivoted and hopped off the chair as Steve and Avery walked in. "Hey, doll." He met Avery for a kiss and took the box from her hands and added it to a pile near his bookshelf. Extending his arm over her shoulder, he turned and faced the couch. "This is Alice. Al, this is Avery."

Avery smiled and stepped forward to extend her hand. "Hey."

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Alice spoke warmly as she stood, leaving her laptop on the coffee table. "These two have told me a lot about you."

"Only nice things," Steve added in quickly, preemptively combatting some sassy comment from his girlfriend. He dropped down onto the couch as Alice returned to sit, eyes flicking towards her computer screen.

"How long have you all known each other?" Avery asked, watching as Bucky returned to his task of unrolling some wires.

Alice huffed, throwing a playful glance towards Steve. "Longer than I'd like to admit."

Avery smirked. "Don't tell me you're 100 years old, too." When Alice paused and made eye contact with Steve and Bucky cautiously, Avery's eyes grew wide. "Seriously? Were you also frozen in time? EIther way, you seriously need to tell me how your skin looks so incredible after all these years."

Alice raised her eyebrows at the question then realized that Avery was genuine in her ask. Her gaze softened as a laugh escaped her lips. "Sunscreen. Every day, no matter what." Her hands paused on the laptop as she watched Avery nod, as if committing the advice to memory. "You're the greenthumb in this relationship, I hear?" She waved her hands around to motion to the greenery crowding the apartment.

"That is correct," Avery answered proudly, pausing to run her fingers across the leaves of her overgrown pothos sitting in a mess on the small dining table. "Minus the unfortunate death of my fiddle-leaf fig, Frank." She turned to look out the door to the balcony, where Frank's fractured structure remained.

Avery did a double take, though. Frank, her beloved Frank who had perished after being left on Bucky's balcony without attention for over a week when they left for the wedding, was _flourishing_. She gasped and hurried out to the balcony. Despite her best tactics following advice from different books and online articles about reviving a dying plant, nothing had worked. But now, he was as green and fresh as ever.

Avery didn't believe in God, really but maybe all her praying had actually worked.

"What the hell?" She crouched down beside the base of the small tree, gently running her fingers through the soil and along the base. "How did this even happen?" She stopped herself from literally hugging the plant in front of her and composed herself before heading back into the apartment.

Steve was sitting on the couch still, swallowing the grin on his face. He brought his hand up and chewed on his finger for a second, then gently nudged Alice with his elbow.

Alice swatted him away, rolling her eyes. "I hope you don't mind, Avery." She paused, as if determining the best way to deliver her thoughts. "Bucky told me about your interest in botany and I just.. I gave - is it Frank? - a bit of TLC." She stretched her fingers out and playfully shoved Steve away from nudging her again.

"You saved Frank's life? You managed to resurrect him?" Avery couldn't contain her gratitude and excitement. "I could kiss you."

Across the room, Bucky let out a very loud laugh. "Can that wait until we're done? I'd love to -

"James Barnes, do not finish that sentence." Alice cut him off, grabbing her laptop once more and rattling off some instructions for Steve's assistance in whatever they were doing. Avery couldn't help but smile at the woman on the couch. There was a sincere kindness in her but something in her rough-around-the-edges attitude managed to explain why Alice was still friends with these two after all these years - she clearly knew how to put up with them and had no issues in getting them to shut up or show up when required.

"What are you doing anyway?" Avery asked, tucking her knees under her as she joined Alice on the couch. Admittedly, there were a lot of other things Avery could be doing. Mainly unpacking and trying to get her shit together at her new desk set up. They had switched the rooms around - converting Bucky's training room into the bedroom, with a new kingsize bed - and dedicated the second bedroom to a combination study area and small at home gym with a small weight rack and exercise bike.

"We are setting up SEAN," Alice answered as she worked at her keyboard. She turned her head and looked at Avery. "It's a Secure Emergency Analytics Neuro-system. Otherwise known as a security system."

"Wait - what? A security system? With cameras?" Avery leaned forward on the couch, eyes open wide once more.

Steve raised his arms up and shook his head. "No, no. Of course not. This is just a precaution. After what happened with.." He trailed off, raising a hand up to rub the back of his neck. He looked towards Bucky.

"Ave, this is just a standard set up. No cameras inside, just a small one outside the doorway. It'll help automate some things, too." Bucky sighed. "It may seem like overkill but given the break-in and.." He took a deep breath and met Avery's eyes. "We can't risk anything happening to you.." _Again.._ "If you're ever home alone or.."

Avery leaned back onto the couch, still and quiet. Her tongue slid across her lips as she glanced between Bucky and Steve. She knew well enough to read between the lines. This was extra precaution in case someone tried to kidnap her again and some other enemy appeared in their lives. There was always going to be inherent risk being in a relationship with them. The events that occurred with Harry Osborn were evidence of that.

"If it helps, this is a strong system - robust but also quite basic. Like a kindergarten level as far as invasive security goes. Based off of some old designs from Tony," Alice reached her hand out and placed it gently on Avery's knee, whose spike in anxiety wasn't lost on her. "But I won't proceed unless everyone is on board." Alice turned her head slowly to look at Bucky and Steve - who were clearly struggling to defend their actions and swirling regret over not bringing this topic up before.

After Avery's privacy was invaded during the break-in at her apartment and then further disturbed when she was kidnapped, the idea of having better security precautions was a no brainer and it was non-negotiable. Though now, they were realizing a conversation should have been had.

Avery eventually let out a long exhale, nodding her head. "Okay, I'm fine with this. But let's work on our delivery, huh? I thought we made decisions as a team." Her playful pout soon evolved into a smirk as both Steve and Bucky muttered out apologies.

Alice typed one more command into her keyboard then leaned back on the couch the same. "Okay, the secure server is running. Once you have the electronics rerouted, we can finish the set up. But I feel like you two can handle that, right?" She didn't bother waiting for an answer as Steve and Bucky got to work, discussing a plan for running extra cable throughout the apartment. Alice turned to Avery. "I've always enjoyed watching these two go from bullheaded to cowering and apologetic. Gives you a fun sense of power, wouldn't you agree?"

The two women remained on the couch while the boys worked - quickly swapping stories about Bucky and Steve and as time carried on, Avery had even poured out two glasses of whisky for them to share. By the time the new security system was set up, Alice was taking down Avery's contact information to send her a pile of her old botany research.

"I've been studying plant medicine for a very long time," Alice explained, hugging a knee to her chest as she shifted on the couch to chat with Avery. "So if you ever need an extra resource for a project, I'd be happy to help."

Avery was elated. She had missed this - _friendship_. A real normal conversation about anything with a friend. Between leaving her job at Simonarc and no longer seeing Heidi, and settling her non-friendship with Crystal, she had been desperate for friendship. She knew overtime she'd have better relationships with her classmates but for the time being, this was a nice filler. It was good for the soul.

"Okay, SEAN is automated for voice command. If we've managed to set this up properly, he should be able to help you with most things." Alice sat forward on the couch, eyeing her computer screen then looking around. "SEAN - can you set the balcony door to lock at 11PM every night?"

" _That is no problem at all."_

Avery gasped when the sentient male voice echoed through the apartment.

"The Australian accent is a nice touch," Steve said to Alice, rolling his eyes. "Was that Stark original or you?"

"That might have been me," Alice replied with a shrug. "I won't confirm or deny basing SEAN's voice algorithm on Hugh Jackman."

Bucky dropped down onto one of the kitchen chairs, stretching out his legs. "Thanks for all your help, Al. You wanna stay for dinner?"

"Sure." Alice shifted on the couch, crossing her legs. "But I am driving up to visit the Bartons tomorrow morning so I can't stay late."

Steve reached for a stack of take out menus near the fridge and shot a curious look towards Alice. "Did Clint tell you he wants to buy an apartment building in the city?"

A warm meal was shared between the group of four. Avery thoroughly enjoyed hearing real war stories from Alice - especially the ones detailing a charming Sergeant Barnes getting shot down by various war nurses and the ones about a stubborn Captain Rogers refusing medical attention after certain adventures with the Commandos, though conceding and whining over a set of stitches from Alice.

Avery gave her a hug when she left, though she wasn't entirely certain Alice was the hugging type. There was just something nice about having a friend over - especially one who didn't seem to question the nature of their three person relationship and someone who could poke fun at Bucky and Steve.

Later that evening, Avery, Bucky and Steve were all sprawled out in bed. Avery was officially really moved in now and she had to try and slow her own heart rate down as she grew excited at the idea of the future with her boys. It was dark and she couldn't sleep.

"Penny for your thoughts, sweetheart?" Steve's voice broke the silence. Avery shifted her head and looked over at him. She couldn't be certain but she assumed he was smiling softly.

"Just thinking about how I can introduce Ray and Bea," Avery said with a laugh, stretching her arms out above her head and rotating to grab onto Steve's torso. From behind her, Bucky shuffled and slid up to spoon against her.

"Who's Ray?" Bucky asked, slow and sleepy.

"The man who is moving into my apartment," she answered, explaining how she had met him earlier.

"You had one conversation with the guy and you feel confident enough that you should set him up with Beatrice?" Steve asked playfully. Avery nuzzled into his chest.

"Yes. Because I am a great judge of character," she answered matter-of-factly, shushing Bucky as he laughed behind her. "What? It's true. Consider the fact that the first day I met Bucky I let him help clean up a cut on my face. That was a strangely intimate moment yet there was something about him that told me I could trust him."

"Meanwhile I meet this girl who thinks it's smart to move towards a hissing glass dish as it explodes on her stovetop. And I'm crazy about her, even now." Bucky muttered out, pressing a kiss against Avery's neck. "Does that make me a bad judge of character?"

"Says the guy who valiantly put himself between me and that exploding dish," Avery retorted. "Since it's dark and you can't see - I just rolled my eyes."

"Oh, I felt it in my soul, doll." Bucky's hands moved along her sides and underneath her shirt, tickling her hips. Avery swatted at him as she giggled.

"Are you two at all interested in getting any sleep tonight?" Steve finally interrupted through a yawn. "Because I would like to."

"Feel free to sleep, Stevie." Avery leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "But since Buck and I are wide awake, I'm sure we can find something else to do in this big bed. What do you say, Buck?"

"Avery baby, you read my mind," Bucky replied quietly, grabbing her hips and pulling her towards him so she rested over top of him. He was quick to grab the waistband of her shirt and pull it over her head. "Have a great sleep, Stevie." Avery quickly leaned down, laying on Bucky's bare chest and adhering herself to his lips.

"Oh, that's not fair," Steve flipped over to lay on his side, watching them go at it in the dim moonlight. "I'm awake now. C'mon."

"Doll, you've gotta be quiet. We don't want to wake up Sleeping Beauty." Bucky was doing nothing to control his volume and neither was Avery, whimpering loudly as Bucky kissed against her neck. It wasn't long before Steve let out a disgruntled groan, moving up onto his knees to pull Avery off of Bucky and lay her flat down on her back between them again.

"Aren't we supposed to work as a team here?" Steve's voice was low and demanding as he trailed one of his hands along Avery's chest and to the waistband of her pajama shorts. He moved to kiss along her jaw and down one side of her neck. Without even needing instruction, Bucky did the same on her other side, mirroring his actions.

"Yes," Avery whispered out, her breath hitching. "Teamwork.. Teamwork is best. We should all work together.." She gasped as their mouths moved against her skin. She could feel Bucky's metal hand exploring her chest while Steve took charge removing her shorts.

"Speaking of together.." Avery was trying to keep a steady stream of thoughts going, although she was incredibly overwhelmed and overstimulated. "We should.. All together.."

"Isn't that what's happening right now, doll?" Bucky's voice was gravelly in her ear. There was more movement as the bed shifted. Steve was suddenly at the end of the bed between her legs while Bucky was sitting on his knees beside her chest, nearly bursting out of his boxers. "Tell us what you want."

She gasped as Steve's tongue started to work between her thighs. She reached to tangle her fingers through his hair, hearing a happy growl in return as she tugged on his tresses. "Not right now.. Not right away.. But.. maybe I want you both. At the same time.." Another whimper escaped her as Steve's fingers took over for his mouth temporarily.

Bucky's hand extended out to run across her forehead, brushing away any stray hair on her face. He cradled her jaw, moving his thumb against the soft skin of her cheek. "What are you saying, baby?"

Avery smiled and squeezed her eyes, reaching her left hand out to paw at Bucky's waistband and grasp his length. Her hand moved up and down in lazy strokes, taking long breaths as Steve positioned his thumb against her very center. "Don't make me say it. I want to.. You both. Together. I've been thinking about it and.. I think we should work our way up to it."

"You sure, sweetheart?" Steve stilled, catching his breath.

"Yes. Yes.. I just want to feel you both." That was enough to send Steve back to his task at full force and for Bucky to escalate too, shifting to let Avery happily take care of him with her mouth. The bed transformed into a playground for all three of them - with plenty of praise and whimpers and shaking legs to go around.

Their heat of the moment conversation fell into the darkness of the night but they all fell asleep with limbs tangled together, hearts finding a steady beat together.

* * *

There was an underlying reason Bucky really enjoyed his Saturday morning yoga class. It was something that was his own - despite sometimes inviting Steve and Avery to join him - but it felt like more than that, too. It was an hour of serenity, where he could, to the best of his ability, shut off the echoing thoughts in his brain and enjoy a normal routine.

Normal.

It wasn't a word he liked to use or focus on because what did it really mean anyway? Whatever society considered normal ebbed and flowed but that idea had gone out the window years ago. Bucky supposed he had his own normal, now.

To him, normal meant coming home from a mission on time and getting to see both Avery and Steve that same day. It meant cursing at Sam less and strategizing with him more. It meant looking forward to real things in the future - like shopping for a house or planning a road trip or adopting a pet or really starting a family. That was normal and to Bucky, that was more than enough.

His walk home from yoga gave him plenty of time to accept the fact that it was officially fall in the city and that the seasons were shifting again soon. There was an unmistakable chill in the air and an overarching reminder to him that layers were important when trying to combat the cold.

But luckily there were plenty of things in his life that brought him warmth. Like the idea of walking into the apartment with a fresh bouquet of flowers to put a smile on his girlfriend's face. With the paper wrapped surprise in hand, he carried on.

A strange familiar feeling waved over him as he climbed the staircase to the top floor of the apartment building. He had left Avery and Steve still in bed that morning, half asleep but trying to figure out a plan for the day. There was a vague discussion about brunch or working out or studying or catching a movie or all of the above. As Bucky made his way to the apartment, clearly things had been decided without him.

' _There is a fire.'_

A wave of panicked waved over him next. Bucky rushed from the staircase to the door of the apartment, hearing the same repetitive voice sounding out from the fire alarm inside their home. When he pushed the door open, he was relieved not to see _flames_ encompassing the space but there was a heavy amount of smoke hanging in the air.

' _There is a fire.'_

"SEAN, can you turn that thing off!" Steve's voice was calling out from the kitchen area, frantically waving his hands to eliminate some of the smoke.

" _I can't seem to override it. There appears to be a failsafe on the fire alarm device."_

' _There is a fire.'_

"There is no fire, damnit," Steve yelled out his frustration.

"What's going on?" Bucky asked, leaving the door propped open to help ventilate the space. He grabbed one of his kitchen chairs and stood near the fire alarm, pressing the reset button and hopping down. He couldn't help but smile.

"Avery learned that wax paper is not the same as parchment paper," Steve answered Bucky with a sigh, dropping down a baking sheet with charred _something_ left on it. "We were trying to make brunch for when you got home."

Bucky smirked once more, leaning over the island to kiss Steve. "Maybe we should go to Norma's instead." Steve smiled and nodded in agreement. "Where's Ave?"

Steve sighed again, waving his arms around once more and motioning his head down the hall. "She sliced her thumb trying to cut up the fruit. Not that bad but I told her to clean it out at least"

Bucky made his way down the hall, not even trying to contain the smile on his face. He leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom and watched for a moment as Avery rinsed her thumb under the running water. "Do you need help?"

Avery turned to meet his gaze and rolled her eyes. "I think I can handle the Band-Aid stage. It's not too deep at least." She held her thumb up to the light, shrugging at the small slice in her skin. Bucky took a step in and opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing the box of bandages.

He specifically took out a Captain America themed one, carefully tearing it open and reaching for her hand. "Well, if this isn't the best moment of deja vu."

Avery swatted at his chest, shutting off bathroom light as they walked towards the living room together. They both flopped down onto the couch where Steve was sitting. Avery stretched out across them both, listening as Bucky talked about his yoga class and they talked about their day ahead.

"Oh," Bucky started, laying a hand on Avery's leg. "I grabbed you a bouquet of.. Hmm.. whatever the shop girl recommended." He finished off with a shrug and pointed to the paper wrapped flowers on the island. She jumped up from her position and hurried over, tearing open the package of flowers and analyzing the goods.

She beamed at the array of fall colours - deep maroon petals with accents of pink and orange, surrounded by white daisies and a few sunflowers. She expressed her thank you with an excited squeal, pulling out a vase and working to trim the stems. She carried the fresh floral display back to the living room with her, placing it delicately in the middle of the coffee table.

Falling back onto the couch in between Bucky and Steve, Avery let out a happy sigh.

There were a lot of things she never asked for in life: being a middle child, having her heart broken, losing five years of her life and her mother in an instant, being an unwilling participant in a kidnapping and even gaining _super_ strength. But in the midst of that, she gained things that a year ago she couldn't even dream of.

She found a way to deal with her anxieties and self doubt. She found a new sense of purpose and passion. And, above everything else, she found happiness and love.

While a lot changed in the blink of an eye, she was beginning to realize that loss she worked through represented so much more. It opened Avery's heart to something she never dreamed possible: a future with two people she couldn't live without and their unwavering love and support. And though the last few months had been a sequence of events she hadn't anticipated, she often quietly thanked the universe - _and the hero who sacrificed himself to stop the evil alien warlord to save said universe_.

"Maybe we could go visit the Botanical Gardens after brunch," Bucky suggested, pulling Avery out of her daydreams. She twisted around to smile at Bucky.

"Really?" She clasped her hands together in excitement.

"I think you deserve an afternoon off from studying," Bucky answered, tilting his head to shoot his gaze towards Steve. "What do you say, Stevie?"

"Forewarning: you'll have to listen as I spout off information about dahlias," Avery added in, shifting once more to look at Steve to see his reaction.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Avery's forehead. "We wouldn't have it any other way, sweetheart."

Over the course of her life, there were a lot of things Avery hadn't asked for. But if she had to pause and reflect on each step she took that brought her to this - planning a lazy Saturday with Bucky and Steve - she couldn't be anything but grateful.

_The End_

* * *

_**One year later** _

Steve pursed his lips, taking a pause to run his hand across his jaw. His eyes flicked to watch Sam, who was rapidly flipping through the file folder in front of him. With a heavy sigh, he turned back to Luke and Charlie.

"You're certain that's who you saw? You were in the middle of a very populated area in Paris - you would have seen hundreds if not thousands of people throughout your weekend. And you were on leave - drinking, staying out late.."

Charlie swallowed hard and nodded his head. "Steve, I understand you have no reason to take me seriously. I don't blame you." His silence filled in the reference none of them found the need to repeat. "But I know it was him. Same scar over his eyebrow.. He looked at us, like right at us, when we called his name."

Luke drummed his fingers on the small table they were all hunched over in the back of the cafe. "And I would not have reached out to Sam if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes either. If it wasn't him, there's a triplet no one knows about."

"This is a great place to start," Sam murmured, finally looking up from the pieces of paper ahead of him. "And this was all there was in his case file? No real investigation after the crash?"

Luke shook his head. "Not that I could find. I figure you two might have more luck researching in the back end of military files. And that old Hydra file -

Sam looked down at the other stack of documents. He slid one towards Steve. In big bold letters on the top of the first page it read _Project Cendres_.

Charlie pointed towards the file. "That one was buried deep in the information dump the Black Widow dropped years ago. But it's mostly in French with a lot of redacted parts.."

"Well, this won't be our first missing persons case." Steve finally said. "If we can call it that."

"We've had bigger mountains to scale," Sam said with a huff.

"I know it's a big ask. And who knows if this is even possible. One sighting in one location might not count for anything." Charlie glanced around the table. "I just know this would really .. it would change everything for Lou and Nash and Avery."

Steve clenched his jaw when Charlie said Avery's name but he did his best to remain still faced. "We'll see what we can do. If this means what we think.. There are much bigger things to worry about. Especially if this leads back to Hydra."

"Is Hydra still a thing? I thought the Avengers dealt with all of that years ago," Luke asked quietly, tilting his head slightly as he looked at Steve.

Steve wasn't sure how to answer that so he didn't. _Cut off one head and two more shall take its place.._ "Thanks for all the details." He gripped the papers in his hand and nodded. "We'll be in touch." Thankfully Luke and Charlie understood that was their opportunity to leave.

Sam let out a heavy sigh.

"I know what you're thinking, Sam."

"Well, it would be a good time to have Bucky around. If there was ever a worse time for him to go MIA.."

It was Steve's turn to sigh. "He's not missing. We know he's in Wakanda. Ever since The Incident.. he's scared. He said he needs time."

Steve blinked away the hard memories flashing before him when he thought about the last night Bucky was in the city. What they had started calling _The Incident_ seemed to have nearly torn their relationship apart. It was one bad nightmare for Bucky and one really _bad_ reaction and.. Steve tried not to think about the emotional battle Bucky was going through. Because Steve knew that Avery was struggling, too. Between surgery and physical therapy, the additional weight of Bucky's prolonged absence and silence was sending her into a spiral.

Steve took in a deep breath. "I'll reach out to him and see when he's coming home. But we can start with this." Steve picked up the file folder. "First things first, figuring out if Jeremy Felix is alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only For A Moment - Coming in April 2021


End file.
